How to find a nice guy to date who is your type generally and straight??
Im a pretty transgender girl Who identifies as a woman (and could be considered prettier than most girls as im told), and trying to online date since you think it ould be easier, but cant seem to find anyone who is interested in me after they see my profile description where it says im trans. even though i get alot of matches and likes and whatnot, no one seems to like me after when they find out or read my description in profile.. its understandable, and im not saying every guy would have to want me, but it just makes me feel sad that the only thing that is keeping me from getting any date is because im transgender and if i was a cis girl it seems i would be able to get a date easily... i just started though looking on a regular dating website, going to try a specific transgender dating website but i know there are not that many people on there.
if you guys have any suggestions or life experience or anything like that please tell me :)
Here is a link to my profile: https://m.badoo.com/profile/-/1hz3n4c?token=1hz3n4c
I'm sorry I can't be of help but my goodness, you are lovely! Any guy should feel lucky.
Claire (née Dori)
Okcupid is a better dating site... They have a transgender box for gender... That's where I met my bf :)
My goodness but you are very pretty. Again, I am no help to you but I hope you find someone. I'm sure he will be a very lucky guy 😌.
Whoa. I wish you had said lesbian women instead of straight guy. I mean, like everyone else has been saying, you really are stunning.
I wish you the best of luck in finding him, just a small bit advice from one girl to another, Okcupid sounds good since Jujubes found someone thanks to it. But whatever you do, stay far away from Match.com.
Back when I still thought I was a Straight Guy, I attempted using that site, and you can't even look around, only at the select few of whom they choose as matches, and not one of them had anything in common with me. It's like the site chooses them at random or something.
Yea ur rite i just tried ok cupid and it seems to be working, have alot more people who seems to know im trans for i think they read my profile. They didnt say anything about me being trans but did say some things that were in my profile so hopefully they know! Too afraid to ask most of the time cause its soo hard to find someone!
WOW you are hot! I don't have any useful advice I'm afraid, but I would so date you and I'm sure plenty of other guys would too! Stick with it, I'm sure you'll find someone amazing who appreciates you, who wants to date a dumb close-minded person anyway?
You're beautiful. I predict you will have no trouble dating and finding that guy. Patience and persistence.
Quote from: Haradonia on August 04, 2016, 06:00:46 PM
Yea ur rite i just tried ok cupid and it seems to be working, have alot more people who seems to know im trans for i think they read my profile. They didnt say anything about me being trans but did say some things that were in my profile so hopefully they know! Too afraid to ask most of the time cause its soo hard to find someone!
One of our members put something special in their profile and requested that any responses mention it so if the people saw the profile, she would know it. Only one person mentioned it and they are together as a couple.
Quote from: Haradonia on August 04, 2016, 06:00:46 PM
Yea ur rite i just tried ok cupid and it seems to be working, have alot more people who seems to know im trans for i think they read my profile. They didnt say anything about me being trans but did say some things that were in my profile so hopefully they know! Too afraid to ask most of the time cause its soo hard to find someone!
yea on okcupid you have the option to pick transgender transexual transwoman etc... and the guys will just filter... and theres tons of straight guys who are "trans oriented"
"I'm transgender. If that hasn't stopped you in your tracks, feel free to write."
That's the first line from my OKCupid profile. I feel it's much better to put it right out there and avoid any misunderstandings down the road. I usually reply to any contact by asking if they've read my profile. Sometimes they go away after that. :laugh:
I met the man I'm dating on Craigslist, though. I find you need a thicker skin to use that site, but it gets a lot of traffic. And I found a keeper there! :)
Hugs, Devlyn
Personally I've gotten good results with Okcupid. Don't be discouraged! It really is a numbers game. You will find the right person with enough persistence. I would encourage you though to message people too that you have common interests with. And also try just going to place where there are singles and dating that way. Or ask a friend if they know anyone. :)
Updates!!! Been having better luck on ok cupid and found two guys who are my type and seem to know im trans, for they say stuff in my profile making me assume that they read it. Have a date tonight! Super nice and gentlemanly and a marine and 6'3 and all and doesnt look like a jerk. But hopefully i do not get too obsessed so quickly; i get too excited easily hahaa...
Oh well!!........I knew it could not take long for you to meet someone,
Have fun :)
Ciara
Quote from: Haradonia on August 06, 2016, 08:33:33 AM
Updates!!! Been having better luck on ok cupid and found two guys who are my type and seem to know im trans, for they say stuff in my profile making me assume that they read it. Have a date tonight! Super nice and gentlemanly and a marine and 6'3 and all and doesnt look like a jerk. But hopefully i do not get too obsessed so quickly; i get too excited easily hahaa...
yum 6'3 marine? he sounds yummy lol
Hi Haradonia,
Very early into my transition, I knew I wanted to try going out with a guy after a lifetime of relationships with women. I signed up on several of the TG/CD specific dating sites and was quite surprised with the amount of responses I received. As you can imagine... Much of it was a little crude and not all that welcome but, amongst all of it, I found a few that that were nice!!!... Not only secure with who they were, but secure with the attraction they felt to me as an "unconventional woman." They approached me in a respectful manner, shared themselves honestly through what they wrote me and I did the same.
There was one in particular with whom I seemed to share a lot of common ground and lived just two hours north... We met in person and all has gone well since... He is a wonderful supportive man who has been with me through the whole process of facial procedures, GRS etc. We got a house together over a year ago and last December he proposed to me... We are planning a September wedding.
My story, I believe, is likely quite outside the norm... I know it can be a tough world for us on all fronts but especially out there on the dating scene....I am writing this because I want it out there that sometimes it works out!!!.. And...in ways you never saw coming!!!... You need to move into things with confidence in who you are and knowing you have a place in this world just like everyone else. Move ahead with respect for yourself, for others and with hope!!!
When I decided to transition, I knew I had to so that I could live MY life but I suspected my decision was also going to lead down a very sad and lonely path. Happily, I was wrong!!!
One interesting aspect of all this as the way my attraction morphed... I found as transition progressed that my attraction to females melted away... When I looked at a woman who I might have previously been attracted to, I found myself experiencing mostly just envy...("wish I had her hair, skin, eyes etc...) A transwoman friend put forward a theory that resonated with me immediately... That what I had always thought was a healthy attraction to women was on some level, hero worship... As I thought about the greatest relationships of my life... I think she was right...on some level, I wanted to be those women!...
Onward we all go!!!
Take Care,
Ashley
Quote from: tgirlamc on August 06, 2016, 07:22:03 PM
Hi Haradonia,
Very early into my transition, I knew I wanted to try going out with a guy after a lifetime of relationships with women. I signed up on several of the TG/CD specific dating sites and was quite surprised with the amount of responses I received. As you can imagine... Much of it was a little crude and not all that welcome but, amongst all of it, I found a few that that were nice!!!... Not only secure with who they were, but secure with the attraction they felt to me as an "unconventional woman." They approached me in a respectful manner, shared themselves honestly through what they wrote me and I did the same.
There was one in particular with whom I seemed to share a lot of common ground and lived just two hours north... We met in person and all has gone well since... He is a wonderful supportive man who has been with me through the whole process of facial procedures, GRS etc. We got a house together over a year ago and last December he proposed to me... We are planning a September wedding.
My story, I believe, is likely quite outside the norm... I know it can be a tough world for us on all fronts but especially out there on the dating scene....I am writing this because I want it out there that sometimes it works out!!!.. And...in ways you never saw coming!!!... You need to move into things with confidence in who you are and knowing you have a place in this world just like everyone else. Move ahead with respect for yourself, for others and with hope!!!
When I decided to transition, I knew I had to so that I could live MY life but I suspected my decision was also going to lead down a very sad and lonely path. Happily, I was wrong!!!
One interesting aspect of all this as the way my attraction morphed... I found as transition progressed that my attraction to females melted away... When I looked at a woman who I might have previously been attracted to, I found myself experiencing mostly just envy...("wish I had her hair, skin, eyes etc...) A transwoman friend put forward a theory that resonated with me immediately... That what I had always thought was a healthy attraction to women was on some level, hero worship... As I thought about the greatest relationships of my life... I think she was right...on some level, I wanted to be those women!...
Onward we all go!!!
Take Care,
Ashley
i love your story... especially this quote "You need to move into things with confidence in who you are and knowing you have a place in this world just like everyone else." thank you for sharing
Years ago i did the online dating site scene. Mostly once the guys my age (30 around then) found out that i am trans they mostly were down for sex, but not relationships. Truthfully i think a lot didn't care personally, but were more worried that their friends might figure it out. Most "admirers" that i met seem to me to basically have penis fetishes, or were struggling with their own gender issues. I had far better luck once i started to hang with a gay guy bff and his straight roomate. They threw a lot of very mixed parties, the straight guys there were already pretty tolerant of diversity. Eventually i met my husband through serendipity. My point is that for us we may need to use a variety of tactics to meet a potential partner.
Thank u all for everything and your stories! I definitely should be more confident and more happy with myself and as im becoming my own person i am doing so. Also the marine guy was amazing :) had the best first date and watched the sunset and clouds and stars and ate food at the :waterfront. He was super gentlemanly and nice and cute and we even made out and touched me and all on a first date and kissed me alot and held hands in front of people and on the rocks by the river! I never do any of that on a first date but he didnt pressure me or anything which i liked and just overall a great guy who says hes gonna see me again and like a long term relationship and yea im so happy :) hopefully we will be long term wish me luck!
Congrats Haradonia!!!... That's so great!!!...and thank you for the kind words Jujubes!!!
Take Care!
Ashley :)
What a lovely date Haradonia! So glad to hear it went well. :)
I am trying to pick up some advice here and there about dating, and it's good to read all the stories and experiences shared here!
Hi Haradonia,
That sounds like a lovely date 😉. I'm really happy that this has worked out for you.
Ciara.
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on August 04, 2016, 08:02:28 PM
"I'm transgender. If that hasn't stopped you in your tracks, feel free to write."
That's the first line from my OKCupid profile. I feel it's much better to put it right out there and avoid any misunderstandings down the road. I usually reply to any contact by asking if they've read my profile. Sometimes they go away after that. :laugh:
I met the man I'm dating on Craigslist, though. I find you need a thicker skin to use that site, but it gets a lot of traffic. And I found a keeper there! :)
Hugs, Devlyn
Devlyn, Excellent procedure, and congratulatons!
Hugs,
Jennifer xx
Quote from: tgirlamc on August 06, 2016, 07:22:03 PM
Hi Haradonia,
Very early into my transition, I knew I wanted to try going out with a guy after a lifetime of relationships with women. I signed up on several of the TG/CD specific dating sites and was quite surprised with the amount of responses I received. As you can imagine... Much of it was a little crude and not all that welcome but, amongst all of it, I found a few that that were nice!!!... Not only secure with who they were, but secure with the attraction they felt to me as an "unconventional woman." They approached me in a respectful manner, shared themselves honestly through what they wrote me and I did the same.
There was one in particular with whom I seemed to share a lot of common ground and lived just two hours north... We met in person and all has gone well since... He is a wonderful supportive man who has been with me through the whole process of facial procedures, GRS etc. We got a house together over a year ago and last December he proposed to me... We are planning a September wedding.
My story, I believe, is likely quite outside the norm... I know it can be a tough world for us on all fronts but especially out there on the dating scene....I am writing this because I want it out there that sometimes it works out!!!.. And...in ways you never saw coming!!!... You need to move into things with confidence in who you are and knowing you have a place in this world just like everyone else. Move ahead with respect for yourself, for others and with hope!!!
When I decided to transition, I knew I had to so that I could live MY life but I suspected my decision was also going to lead down a very sad and lonely path. Happily, I was wrong!!!
One interesting aspect of all this as the way my attraction morphed... I found as transition progressed that my attraction to females melted away... When I looked at a woman who I might have previously been attracted to, I found myself experiencing mostly just envy...("wish I had her hair, skin, eyes etc...) A transwoman friend put forward a theory that resonated with me immediately... That what I had always thought was a healthy attraction to women was on some level, hero worship... As I thought about the greatest relationships of my life... I think she was right...on some level, I wanted to be those women!...
Onward we all go!!!
Take Care,
Ashley
Hi Ashley, Some of your transition dating experiences match mine. As a teeneager I only had a boyfriend for sex for 2 years way before I transitioned, but then much later dated women sexually.
Since becoming Jennifer full-time I've only dated sexually ONE cis lesbian girl. We are still friends it was a great relationship but we both moved.
Now I date lovely MEN. My body is stunningly feminine beautiful now, and it is MEN who want me badly. I have no problem turning online dates into real world sexual dates. I had sex as beautiful Jennifer with about 40 men in 2015.
Like you, as my body changed who was attracted to me changed drastically. Women aren't attracted to me sexually anymore, but as good friends.
MEN badly want intimacy with me. Only have been intimate with 1 man in 2016 though.
This will likely change next weekend A nice man online last night offered to pay all of my airfare and hotel expenses later this week, so I can visit him over next weekend or the folowing weekend, on a long domestic flight in the country I currently live in.
Muahhh ! I feel sure we will "get it on" in bed all next weekend or the weekend after.
So, let's see if he indeed sends me domestic airfare money this week. Our hotel he will pay for after I arrive in his city.
It was fun flirting with him last night on Webcam. He cannot resists my feminine charms.
FUN to be sexy beautiful Jennifer !
Have fun with YOUR dates with lovely men !!!
Hugs,
Jennifer xx
Enjoy Jennifer!!!... No more dating scene for me!... We became engaged last December and are getting married next month!!!
Take Care,
Ashley :)
Quote from: tgirlamc on August 07, 2016, 03:32:45 PM
Enjoy Jennifer!!!... No more dating scene for me!... We became engaged last December and are getting married next month!!!
Take Care,
Ashley :)
WOW Ashley congrats sounds fab ! !!!!!!! :)
Yes indeed I sure enjoy my dating and also clubbing/dancing with friends.
Take care,
Jennifer xx
Quote from: tgirlamc on August 07, 2016, 03:32:45 PM
Enjoy Jennifer!!!... No more dating scene for me!... We became engaged last December and are getting married next month!!!
Take Care,
Ashley :)
Congratulations Ashley, it's all ahead for you, I'm 6 years married to my husband this month, we got married in August 2010, the next few weeks will be very busy for you, a busy time for a woman, getting married, I'd do it all again.
Thank you both so much for the well wishes!!!! I nailed the dress a couple weeks ago but still working on shoes!!! ... Here's the dress!!!...
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi690.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fvv262%2Fhookster_photo%2Fimage_zpsj8pv6wqm.jpeg&hash=6ad21a9f649a0151aa0a9c168fea2d7a152cf1e7)
Quote from: tgirlamc on August 06, 2016, 07:22:03 PM
One interesting aspect of all this as the way my attraction morphed... I found as transition progressed that my attraction to females melted away... When I looked at a woman who I might have previously been attracted to, I found myself experiencing mostly just envy...("wish I had her hair, skin, eyes etc...) A transwoman friend put forward a theory that resonated with me immediately... That what I had always thought was a healthy attraction to women was on some level, hero worship... As I thought about the greatest relationships of my life... I think she was right...on some level, I wanted to be those women!...
Onward we all go!!!
Take Care,
Ashley
Wow... I don't want to highjack this thread, but I'm in the early stages of transgender realizations, and this paragraph *really* resonated with me. I spent a few sessions telling my new therapist about my quasi-religious worship of women when we started. A month later, I tell her that I think I'm transgender.
Thanks for writing this: it really helped me pinpoint what some of my feelings are.
Hi Formrerly-Me!
Thanks for posting you kind words...I am happy you found some value in my words. Transition, for me, was full of a lot of self revelations about my past... How the GD had colored so much more of my life, my decisions, relationships etc. than I had ever realized!
Self exploration... The last frontier!
Take Care,
Ashley :)
Quote from: tgirlamc on August 08, 2016, 09:35:02 AM
Hi Formrerly-Me!
Thanks for posting you kind words...I am happy you found some value in my words. Transition, for me, was full of a lot of self revelations about my past... How the GD had colored so much more of my life, my decisions, relationships etc. than I had ever realized!
Self exploration... The last frontier!
Take Care,
Ashley :)
Indeed, you're welcome. I will see my therapist today so I will definitely bring up this new idea to her. Thanks again!
Quote from: tgirlamc on August 07, 2016, 03:32:45 PM
Enjoy Jennifer!!!... No more dating scene for me!... We became engaged last December and are getting married next month!!!
Take Care,
Ashley :)
That is so nice to hear :) congratz :)
Thanks Jujubes!!!... I will post pics after the wedding next month!!!... Onward we go!!!
Take Care,
Ashley :)
Hi Ashley
Thank you for posting this positive story and giving girls like me hope that we will find someone to love us as we really are.
Since transitioning I have lost a wife and and been amazed to discover a need to be with a man. What a shock that was, I have not yet dated anyone, but after GCS, I will try and find someone. FFS has improved my passability and self confidence. I just wish I looked as fabulous as you !
Take care
Love Jools x
Quote from: tgirlamc on August 07, 2016, 11:06:02 PM
Thank you both so much for the well wishes!!!! I nailed the dress a couple weeks ago but still working on shoes!!! ... Here's the dress!!!...
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi690.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fvv262%2Fhookster_photo%2Fimage_zpsj8pv6wqm.jpeg&hash=6ad21a9f649a0151aa0a9c168fea2d7a152cf1e7)
Stunning :D
Thank you both for the kind words!!!... Julie... I am sorry for the loss of your wife but amazing things are ahead for you!!! The people in our life before transition can often not make the journey with us... It can hurt to leave familiar faces and situations behind...but, in the long run...the new people will come along and the new ones will be a better reflection of a new life that is finally and truly your own!
Take Care,
Ashley :)