Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Have you ever met someone other than yourself who is transgender. I have personally only met one other . I worked with a trans guy. This is going to change pretty soon once I start attending a support group at the LGBTQ... health clinic..

Tons. Ftm's are everywhere, I had two of them living downstairs from me. Other transwomen seem rarer, but I see them around a lot at the shows I go to or in town. I live in a city that tends to be progressive and I'm a few streets down from some gay clubs and an lgbt clinic too.

My two close friends who I see and talk to every day are trans. Trans girl and guy. c:

I forgot I met a couple of people from Susan"s a couple of years ago.

I was going to say how could you forget me buying you lunch last year at this time?

Quote from: stephaniec on November 23, 2016, 05:14:07 PM
I forgot I met a couple of people from Susan"s a couple of years ago.

I have met hundreds of other trans individuals from all over the country. 

there was another girl that use to work cutting hair by where I lived and I see her waiting for the bus or standing on the street corner in Boys Town on my way to work. For some reason we stated talking one day and we always said a few words when I saw her. This was long before I transitioned so she might have had some 6th sense.

Quote from: I Am Jess on November 23, 2016, 05:21:50 PM
I was going to say how could you forget me buying you lunch last year at this time?


I have met hundreds of other trans individuals from all over the country.

thanks , It was a good roast beef you can't find that kind of French bread anywhere.

I have seen many trans folks at Pride events and my hubby has a former army buddy who is a trans lady. I have a friendly acquaintance who is also a trans guy. He was stealth during the time we hung around together but has been more visible as an activist in recent years.

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Not counting support meetings, I've met and interacted with probably 5 or 6. One FtM, one non-binary, the others MtF.

I'm not particularly socialable or easy to get along with, imho.

My therapist keeps pushing for me to go to the support group at the clinic. It's a support group for thw spectrum.

Before I ever came out I met at least three, just that I can remember off the top of my head. Since coming out I've met more, probably close to ten in all, not counting trans-specific places (i.e., support groups), and only about a half or so through queer circles, the rest just through very conventional, mostly straight friends I've know for a long time.

I work with two other trans women.

Not counting family or going to a group with them or patients in the hospital at same time as me  3.
Hugs
Mariah


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*

Nowadays in the USA, it should be rather common with all the support groups available at even the smallest communities.  Go back a few decades ago and it would have been rare.

     -  I have a possibility that my father served in the military with Christine (then-George) Jorgensen based upon written notes my father left to me when he died.  I am searching for proof one way or the other and welcome anyone who knew the Jorgensen family to determine if my father's name is familiar to them.

     -  My mother's younger brother was murdered during M-F transition (1970) - it was made to appear suicide so that the police would write off all investigations.

     -  I met Denise twice: 1974 and 1977 under covert circumstances.  She became my mentor and referred me to Stanford; their help and referrals finally got my transition in high gear (1977).

     -  Linda was a civilian electronics engineer who came to the military base where I worked as the clerk to our agency's Director; she conducted her audit during two weeks (1978).  We spent several hours talking one Friday after work; she referred me to Janus (Galveston).

     -  I eventually made connections with others through correspondences with Stanford's and Janus' programs.  Some personnel were part of the HBO production 'What Sex Am I?' (1985).

     -  When I resided at Utah (1980 - 1985), I felt as if I was the only one in the state.  My counsellor last year confirmed that to be true as far as he knows; he told me that he heard of one through his resources at that time with the same dates and specifics matching my case.  Yowee!  Small world then.

     -  I saw several who made the TV talk circuit during the 1980s.  Maria and I developed and maintained a pen pal friendship for a couple years.

I'm not aware that I might otherwise have had co-workers who were trans other than Roberta.  Of course, since I got fired from two different employers for being the only trans employee, I suspect there were no other trans co-workers - at least at my location anyway.

Also, I had been my counsellors' and internists' 'one and only' most of my time. 

     -  Only one counsellor who has had more than me as their trans client (til two last year).

     -  Only two physicians (of nearly 10) who have had more than me as their patient; I am my current primary's and endo's first and only.  My new gyn of this year has had about 15 before me.

Last year this 'Rip van Winkle' awoke from her stealth of nearly 30 years and has been blessed to be befriended by numerous others from around the world through message boards and fortuitous meetings either here or there and locally here at support groups where I reside at Phoenix, Arizona. 

In fact, I have been taking my time sending 'Thank you' notes to everyone who I can for Thanksgiving this year.  Thank you, one and all!

My how the years have made this life open to others in our community.

*

Toronto trans community is pretty big


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Quote from: I Am Jess on November 23, 2016, 05:21:50 PM
I have met hundreds of other trans individuals from all over the country.

I have met only a few, but Jessie has been a gem.  She is a wonderful person, and someone who has inspired me to have fun and enjoy life as a transwoman. I try to see her every time I am in LA. 

~Terri

I had lunch this past summer in Evanston Illinois with another member here. 

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Quote from: Denise on November 23, 2016, 07:26:43 PM
I had lunch this past summer in Evanston Illinois with another member here. 

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that's where I live

Of course we must acknowledge that we probably have met a transgender person that was not obviously out or clockable.

According to recent Pew research there are more people who believe they have experienced a ghost than believe they have met a transgender person. Above statement applies again.  Unlike ghosts we are demonstrably real :D

I am fortunate enough to have made good friends with several people from this site and enjoy meeting other trans people in my travels from coast to coast.  I attend trans support groups and events.  One of the more remarkable groups was being one of 28 transgender delegates to the DNC Convention in Philadelphia this summer.

Lots in the support group.  I have seen a few others at Pride rallies and such, but none that I have interacted with.

Not really no. I met an intersex person who did a massive presentation on transgender pronouns and surgery in my... film class. It was strange lol and I'm surprised people stayed for a half hour when the presentation was not supposed to exceed 5 minutes. She honestly may be GQ but I had not asked her because I don't want to be open.

The other day I saw this young transwoman registering at my school and it made me feel pretty uneasy. I think it's because I felt like she was so incredibly over the top, like she was compensating for something. In spite of living in a really liberal area, these are the only trans people I have really seen.

there is one I see a lot , but never have met. She works at the University I live by or something to do with the University . I saw her when she first started transitioning about 7 years or so ago big change.

The first trans woman I met was  during the 80s, her name was Dusty and she worked as a dancer at a strip club near the army fort I was stationed at. Then I met several other trans women at a club in Los Angeles called Peanuts which later became club 7969 or something like that, and I didn't meet any others until I started transitioning in 1998. I met Donna Rose at the first support group meeting I went to, and I think it was her first meeting as well; she transitioned a couple of years after that and published her book "Wrapped in Blue."  I also met Monica Helms, she's also an author and well known in the trans community. Everyone made me feel so welcome and I was wearing guy clothes since I was too afraid to dress femininely in public.  And since then I have met many trans women and trans men.

Sure.  I met one in 1985, I think, that triggered me into realizing that was what I was, what I wanted, and what I had been repressing.  I've worked with at least two transitioning MtF and one FtM person, all great engineers.  I've met transfolks in safe 'out' environments like group therapy, and of course, at our dinner and social events on Mondays. :)

There's a huge variety of folks in the trans community, from quirky, to friendly, to annoying.  We're all human beings, after all!

I've never knowingly met another transgender person but my therapist does have 3 other trans patients (All FtM, I'm his only MtF) but sadly I hear they are all underage and each with parents who refuse to let them start hormones/non supportive. I feel for them =/

Lost count, there's a pretty large number of us in Blackpool. There were 3 of us who were bus drivers at the same time, met plenty more at Rennaisance Blackpool support group. Had a couple of transgender girlfriends though the last one was mad as a bag of badgers, we split before she made me as mad as her.

Dozens, quite a few that I'm close friends with. A few that I never read as trans until they told me. And of course I have no doubt plenty I never clocked who had no reason to mention.

I've never met any :(

Quote from: stephaniec on November 23, 2016, 05:06:06 PM
Have you ever met someone other than yourself who is transgender. I have personally only met one other . .

Interesting you should ask such a question. It was over 20 years before I finally met another 'trans person' (via 'a support group') and the experience wound up being less than 'rewarding', almost border on embarrassing. Not sure 'us birds' were meant to 'flock together' but then again am definitely NOT an activist or SJW!

If the past membership here at Susan's is any indication most all tend to disappear eventually, climb back into the woodwork from whence they came never to be seen, heard from again.

In the late 1950's my father worked with someone who 'transitioned' MTF: a close family friend/neighbor in NJ who was a pilot for Pan American World Airways. I did not hear details until much later in life . . . 

After more than 40 years of an emotionally solitary, mostly celibate existence I find I make 'acquaintances' easily but only keep the faith, reserve my closest relationship with God.

In the UK I'm a regular of the Cambridge Diamonds support group who have members from across the Trans* spectrum. Also in contact with a few from my workplace.

I answered no but I'm sure I've unknowingly met many. I haven't attended the local support group (if it still runs) because I get no response to my emails requesting information (and I just won't show up without knowing someone even via email). That's a bummer, because I'm very interested in meeting some trans people and especially making some new friends. So if you live near Cape Cod send me a message  :).

Back in the day, a score of people from support group.  There was also my first electrologist, and my second therapist.  I've also spent time in person with four women -- no, five... plus a few of their friends -- that I originally got to know online.  Oh, and whoever was at the hospital when I had my surgeries. 

I've never even run into a person of transition (that I know of) out in the wild, in my ordinary life, away from trans-specific spaces.

Um. Probably at least a third to half of my close friends are somewhere on the trans* spectrum -- trans women, trans men, genderqueer, non-binary, genderfluid, etc. etc. etc.

So... lots?

Quote from: kittenpower on November 23, 2016, 08:21:58 PM
Then I met several other trans women at a club in Los Angeles called Peanuts which later became club 7969 or something like that.....

In the late 80's I prosecuted a guy for murdering a trans woman who used to hang out at Peanuts. The witnesses to the murder were 3 other trans women. They told me some things about a certain Hollywood celebrity who really liked trans women.

Quote from: I Am Jess on November 24, 2016, 02:38:44 PM
In the late 80's I prosecuted a guy for murdering a trans woman who used to hang out at Peanuts. The witnesses to the murder were 3 other trans women. They told me some things about a certain Hollywood celebrity who really liked trans women.

Thank you Jess, I hope justice was well served.

Yes he was convicted of 2nd degree murder and sentenced to life in prison. Last time I checked he was still in prison. I've thought about trying to track down the witnesses who testified to find out how they are doing and to let them know that I have transitioned. It would be an interesting conversation.

Quote from: kittenpower on November 24, 2016, 03:03:07 PM
Thank you Jess, I hope justice was well served.

Yes, dozens... but only local. Not international.

I never paid attention when I lived in the US..gender issues were not on my radar.

After I moved to Thailand, however, I was contacted by an old high school buddy who was trying to transition to female, and who outed me as "male."

This surprised me, so I read a number of Kindle trans autobiographies and was surprised to find myself reading my own story. I'm only about 60% transmale, but that had been enough to torpedo areas of my life, for most of my life.

There are many transgender people in Thailand, but they are in the mainstream, most without hormones or surgery, and it can be startling to see a man with a beard in a dress, wearing makeup, or a female-figured person dressed exactly like man, down to wingtips, playing a male role.

Transgender Thai don't seem to "transition" with operations and documents, or even try to officially become a member of the opposite gender, just seemingly dress how they feel comfortable, go about their business, and people don't even remark on it.

Until I went to the Rainbow Center a couple weeks ago I had only met one like minded person to which I am so grateful for meeting. A Susan's visitor, Chris.deee and I met for coffee and she answered many of my questions. I admit I was a little standoffish but I have never had an easy time meeting new people. It is weird, I can stand in front of a room full of strangers and can give system navigation training, but have a very hard time one on one. Chris was very understanding. Even asking if I was uncomfortable. We were being stared at, the coffee shop I chose so we left for a place she felt more comfortable. Chris came fully fem and I fearing public displays showed up in my most grungy guy clothes. I start wearing shorts at the beginning of the baseball season and wear nothing else until after the World Series. As the WS keeps going further and further into fall I may have to change. I was just starting my investigation into how to come out and since I really didn't know much, I kind of fell silent for a while. But she persisted and I learned a lot. Shortly after our meeting I got the ok to start HRT. And who was my biggest cheerleader? We have tried to meet again but somehow can't get the times together. I would love to see her again. This time she picks the venue.
I'm thinking, if I come up with the money, of going to Esprit Conference May 14 - 21st this spring in Port Angeles to surround myself with people just like me. I thought I was alone with my problems but no. Thankfully I have all you wonderful  peps for bringing stability back to my life. If you happen to be in the Seattle area, drop on by. I would love to meet you. Here is a link to their agenda for the week. https://www.espritconf.com/index.php/what-is-esprit

This is the second time I've heard of the Espirit conference in Port Angeles in the past few days.  I'm just thinking about whether or not I should go to that.  If it is primarily a crossdresser event I might not fit in that well.

I do think it would be neat to have a "Susan's Place" meetup there or elsewhere.  There are a lot of folks here that I would enjoy meeting in person.  (I'm not as annoying in person as I am online, and can get along with almost anyone.). If there was a big "Susan's Place" contingent there I think I'd go just to meet everyone.

Michelle_p    Esprit focuses on changing lives for the better and creating pride and self-respect for anyone who is transgender. 

Hundreds of them at Chicago Be All. 

I sure miss that conference. So much fun.

Quote from: Sophia Sage on November 24, 2016, 09:47:05 AM
I've never even run into a person of transition (that I know of) out in the wild, in my ordinary life, away from trans-specific spaces.

I met a lot back in the day too. Likely somewhere between 50 and 100 in the years i when to support groups (I originally  went to what what was then a large regional group through someone I met on-line and was a founding member of a small local support group) and a couple of events (I went to Fantasia Fair once at the advice of my therapist, and went to Full Circle Of Women (FCOW) once... By the time I was ready for it the New Woman Conference (NWC) has ceased)

And I did meet some when I had my FFS and SRS.

But I'm sure I have seen some TSes out in the wild... Once on the street in San Francisco, 2 at a women only event, one out in the street locally - though they were likely on their way to the psychiatrist's office I had just come after getting my second letter for surgery, as well as few others over the years.

All of that is a long while ago... It's been 2 or 3 years since I have seen or gotten together with anyone.

- Karen

I'm involved with two transgender/cross dresser local groups. One in my town I know about 12 while in another group who travels down to my town several hundred. Out of all of them, only one other is post-op like me.

Outside of these groups I have seen many but only made contact with two, once at a mall shopping and once at StarBucks. The one at the mall spoke, did not have a female voice while the one at Starbucks was a friend of a friend.

Usually the give-away is their manner of dress, and of these made no contact.

A week after GRS a owner (post-op) of another transgender site visited me. I know her before when I was teaching a firearms self defense class where she was a student, I was the instructor. It was super nice of her to visit me in California from Oregon and took me out for dinner.

Also met a cross-dresser from yet another site, mainly cross-dressers at a local mall in Oregon while she was visiting from Canada.

Lastly out of the two groups in the local area, I'm friends with the one other male-female and one cross-dresser.

Quote from: DawnOday on November 25, 2016, 11:18:32 AM
Michelle_p    Esprit focuses on changing lives for the better and creating pride and self-respect for anyone who is transgender.

Good to know.  I might give that a try, then.

I'm involved with a local group, like Karen.  There is a good representation of the various degrees of transgender folks that present female, as in the broader population, mostly just occasionally presenting female, a few getting some medical treatment, and a very small portion on the GRS path.  It's mostly a fun group of folks.

QuoteUsually the give-away is their manner of dress, and of these made no contact.

Yeah.  Oddly, I now feel reassured that I have a pretty good sense of fashion and proper presentation.  I don't own a single cocktail dress with one sequined breast and sleeve.  :P

There are some oddities in the community that I've noticed.  Another transgender social group here has been the topic of some discussion, after they apparently 'purged' the medically transitioning members and became a purely cross-dresser group.  That move sort of shouts "Insecurity much?"

It has always struck me, though, how after transitioning, so many women and men just vanish from the community and go fully stealth.  I sometimes wonder if they find all the support they need elsewhere, or if they are living a life like I used to live, essentially hiding in fear that someone will discover my secret and out me.  I don't think I could go back to that.

Quote from: Michelle_P on November 27, 2016, 10:15:01 AM


It has always struck me, though, how after transitioning, so many women and men just vanish from the community and go fully stealth.  I sometimes wonder if they find all the support they need elsewhere, or if they are living a life like I used to live, essentially hiding in fear that someone will discover my secret and out me.  I don't think I could go back to that.

Yes, I have noticed that here and in real time.  I need to be social and enjoy being part of building community.  We have people that drop in for a single meeting and then people who don't want to have a primary trans identity once they are further or past transition.  I get that and can understand how much better it might feel to just blend in, not be hassled and not feel so damn different while knowing there are supportive people and groups around.  Ultimately I share that sense of secrets that just about killed me once and that is not a path I will choose to walk again.

Quote from: Michelle_P on November 27, 2016, 10:15:01 AM
It has always struck me, though, how after transitioning, so many women and men just vanish from the community and go fully stealth.  I sometimes wonder if they find all the support they need elsewhere, or if they are living a life like I used to live, essentially hiding in fear that someone will discover my secret and out me.  I don't think I could go back to that.

I've often wished that I could leave almost everyone I knew pre-T behind, come back 4-5 years later, and be reintroduced as someone else.
There's a strong desire for me to go stealth and glide under the radar, mostly because I'm just done talking about it. You know the drill: Revealing yourself as trans to most people leads to a million questions. I've been answering them, holding hands, taking fire and explaining our existence for years. It's really worn me out, to be honest. There's a good chance that my question answering has helped a lot of people become somewhat more understanding over the years, but... I don't want to live the rest of my life as a search engine.
Now, relaying stories and circumstances that used to make me feel emotional have now become very clinical and disconnected.

I'm currently at the point where I just don't want any recognition whatsoever for being trans--positive or negative--throughout my daily life. Obviously I can't speak for anyone but myself when it comes to possible motivations for being stealth, but mine were born less of fear and more of exhaustion. This forum is the last place I frequent from time to time just to see how others are coming along. As far as being involved in the community... I guess I'm not at all anyway. I've always been sort of on the fringe of things.


As far as meeting or seeing other trans people out and about, I'm certain I've seen several. I've definitely seen three other transitioning FTM's (I immediately recognized the changes they were going through as I went through the same), a handful of suspected stealth FTM's and a few MTF's. I've never spoken to any of them but one of the transitioning FTM's works at the Target around here and we always give one another the 'I see you' glance. It will probably never go beyond that.

I have met plenty of people transitioning (varying phases) and know of more than a few that have gone dark to the community after reaching a certain point.  At about 5 years, a lot of brothers and sisters tire of being swept up in the challenges facing the newly forming siblings.  They just want to live their lives and so they do not openly identify as trans any longer.

I participate in a support group and also frequent places where trans people congregate.  They know me, I know them to whatever extent seems appropriate.  I live in an area with a very robust community.

 hmmmm...... bunches and bunches. Taking a walk down memory lane now. 40 years ago not long out of high school got a job as a correctional officer at a major metropolitan jail. From the first day on the job got to interact with the "professional" trans girls in the area on an almost daily basis. Must say at 19 and not yet really having wrapped my brain around who or what I was, I'm sure it contributed in a small way to burying my true self even deeper. No disrespect to the ladies, they were just living their life the best the could.
Interesting side note with all the anti trans furor going on now. All of the officers gave the same respect to the trans girls that they gave to other inmates. Only difference they were keep separate from the rest of the inmates for their safety.
In the years since no clue if I might have met any until I started going to a group about a year ago. Jessica.

Quote from: kaitylynn on November 27, 2016, 03:25:04 PM
I have met plenty of people transitioning (varying phases) and know of more than a few that have gone dark to the community after reaching a certain point.  At about 5 years, a lot of brothers and sisters tire of being swept up in the challenges facing the newly forming siblings.  They just want to live their lives and so they do not openly identify as trans any longer.

I participate in a support group and also frequent places where trans people congregate.  They know me, I know them to whatever extent seems appropriate.  I live in an area with a very robust community.

Out and proud no more closets for me 🍾🎉

Lots and Lots of wonderful friends;

In the United kingdom:
My girl friend Padma in Exeter, Samantha (and her wife Susan) in Torquay, Julie in Bournemouth, Alexandra in Dorset, Aeryn and Samy in Redhill, Mia in Slough, Samantha in Maidenhead, Amy in Cambridge, Kate & Tamzin in London, Caitlin in  Suffolk, Katherine from Northampton and my new friend Amber in Cumbria.  Other people I have met at the Way Out Club and the amazing Pink Punters in Milton Keynes (great Saturday nights)

In Australia;
Catherine Sarah, Cindy, Steph, Elise and Rebecca plus all the girls from Alphabet Soup in Melbourne

In the USA,
My special girl friends Eva Marie, Jill F and her amazing wife Kath and not forgetting Breanne all in California.

In Marbella, Spain
All the wonderful team at Jenny's Nest especially Jenny, Nicola Jane & Keira

I am sure I have missed someone.
Judith

Quote from: Michelle_P on November 27, 2016, 10:15:01 AMIt has always struck me, though, how after transitioning, so many women and men just vanish from the community and go fully stealth.  I sometimes wonder if they find all the support they need elsewhere, or if they are living a life like I used to live, essentially hiding in fear that someone will discover my secret and out me.  I don't think I could go back to that.

No fear here -- after so many years of not bringing it up, and not having it brought up, I just take it for granted.  It's no secret that I'm a woman.

But yes, many of us who practice non-disclosure get support elsewhere, primarily from each other.  A couple of other such women are dear friends of mine, but in another part of the country -- we see each other every two to three years, depending on our schedules. 

Quote from: Stone Magnum on November 27, 2016, 03:18:06 PMThere's a strong desire for me to go stealth and glide under the radar, mostly because I'm just done talking about it. You know the drill: Revealing yourself as trans to most people leads to a million questions. I've been answering them, holding hands, taking fire and explaining our existence for years. It's really worn me out, to be honest. There's a good chance that my question answering has helped a lot of people become somewhat more understanding over the years, but... I don't want to live the rest of my life as a search engine...

I'm currently at the point where I just don't want any recognition whatsoever for being trans--positive or negative--throughout my daily life. Obviously I can't speak for anyone but myself when it comes to possible motivations for being stealth, but mine were born less of fear and more of exhaustion.

Yes, this is something that happens with an open narrative.  I found it disconcerting.  I think because in these situations it was like I wasn't actually being seen anymore -- it was like being pigeonholed, and suddenly all my foibles were subject to "constructive criticism" and all my good points that had nothing to do with it just didn't come up on people's radar at all. 

And then it goes away, because the conversation has been exhausted.  Well, until the next person is told.  Bloody hamster wheel, it is.

But, and this could be an important "but," that was all during transition.  After transition, I basically started a new life without the narrative.  Maybe it's different nearly a couple a decades later.  Not that I plan on finding out anytime soon. 

Quote from: kittenpower on November 27, 2016, 09:00:28 PMOut and proud no more closets for me 🍾🎉

Funny thing is, at least for me, this way of life doesn't feel like a closet at all.

     Before one goes through the gate
     one may not be aware there is a gate
     One may think there is a gate to go through
     and look a long time for it
     without finding it

     One may find it and
     it may not open
     If it opens one may be through it
     As one goes through it
     one sees that the gate one went through
     was the self that went through it

     no one went through a gate
     there was no gate to go through
     no one ever found a gate
     no one ever realized there was never a gate

          -- r.d. laing

Quote from: Maybebaby56 on November 23, 2016, 07:19:31 PM
I have met only a few, but Jessie has been a gem.  She is a wonderful person, and someone who has inspired me to have fun and enjoy life as a transwoman. I try to see her every time I am in LA. 

~Terri

Ahhhhh thank you girlfriend, I just saw this.  I've met a lot of the ladies from this board over the last year and a half and all of you inspire me. Getting to met people who are making changes in their lives and discovering their true selves is remarkable. We can all learn things from each other because of our varied backgrounds and life experiences.   

Don't be afraid to reach out to others. I have had such wonderful experiences meeting and getting to know the members of our community.  I have met actors, actresses, scientists, billionaires, firefighters, police offices, factory workers, fast food workers, doctors, lawyers, individuals on disability, real estate professionals and computer geniuses and who knows how many other professions. I have learned a little something from all of them. So get out there and meet your brothers and sisters. Reach out to them here or on other social media platforms. You will not be disappointed.

Yes, though I've mostly met FTM transgender people.

I've served two that I know of irl but not sat down and had a proper conversation with one, but online most of my Friends are f2m,

Quote from: stephaniec on November 23, 2016, 05:06:06 PM
Have you ever met someone other than yourself who is transgender. I have personally only met one other . I worked with a trans guy. This is going to change pretty soon once I start attending a support group at the LGBTQ... health clinic..

Ohh, my god yes.  I can't imagine what life would be like without my trans friends. 

I saw and chatted with three other trans people today (two of whom are living stealth) at my electro place.  I had dinner with another trans friend last night, and lunch with about 10 of us on Sunday. 

I have loads of trans friends, both men and women.  I have loads of cis friends, both men and women too.  I went to a TDOR gathering where there were about 300 people a couple of weeks ago.  I met and chatted with a trans police officer there.  I used to drop into the local transgender support centre occasionally and chat with people, but it's not really my thing these days.  I prefer a casual catch-up with my closer friends over a coffee or a walk in the park.

I know maybe a dozen other Susan's members in person, and catch up with all of them from time to time.

The only environment where I don't know any other trans people is at my workplace.  There are 1,100 people.  I know a high proportion of them, but don't know of a single other trans person.  Sometimes that can feel a little lonely, but I have plenty of people outside of work to talk with.

I have known one for 15+ years, and (Blush) until this year I never knew she was.  It was only as I came out that I found out she was.

I also work with 2, one other MtF and one FtM, as well as some friends on Facebook who I have meet out and about.

Yes.  There was a M-F at a company I used to work for.  There was another I knew at a Linux group.  I have met or seen others, though not known them personally.

The first trans woman I ever met was Caroline Cossey in Atlanta in 1992.  I never met anyone else I knew was trans until I transitioned in 2002.  Since then I have come to know hundreds of trans men and women through my advocacy work.  I was honored to go to the first transgender vagina monologues in LA, I think this was in 2004.  But most important to me are the five close friends I have who I came to know when we transitioned.  We all shared a time in our lives that was important and the bond we hold is precious to me.

Met?  Probably at least one, and one that I grew up near, but that was before they became a woman.  Seen, at least 4, but didn't interact with them.  I really wanted to talk to two of them, as the one was at a game store in Indianapolis, and looked like she was only a little further along than I, but she was rocking a skirt/dress and combat boots.  She used a fan to cover her face, I probably looked like a creepy guy stealing glances.  If you're on here, sorry to weird you out.

There's one in the family and one who lives nearby to me, who I don't know but they started talking to me in the store. I was surprised to see "another" one out in the middle of nowhere where I live. It was also good to see that nobody in there was acting like they disliked this person for it.

I've met my friend online and then he came to my city and we hung out
He also visited me in hospital when I was hospitalised for mental illness
He's great


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Not yet, but I haven't really put myself out there yet.

Personally, my cousin D and I knew a girl through a mutual friend we all call 'Koeslag' (her last name)
I see lots of other trans persons in passing, whenever I'm going to my doctors, etc. Some are nice, others look at me like I'm filth.. I don't go to support groups or anything yet and likely never will.

I just want to say...

For you girls that haven't met anyone else (in the USA), you only need to look on the internet to find an "event" not to far from you.

There are small event's like GNOs (Girls Night Out) that happen usually on a monthly basis and larger multi-day events that happen once in a while.

I live in a rural area of western New York, and I can travel west 2 hours to a GNO in Warren, Ohio, I can travel east to a GNO in Rochester, NY or I can travel about 2 hours north across the border to a GNO outside of Toronto.

There are a couple of events that happen in Erie, PA an hour away from me.

Some events are conference while others are just to get together have a good time.

I've only been out just under 2 years and I've met more girls than I could ever remember.

Please feel free to ask more, if you live near any of those areas. It's usually not too difficult to find people. :)

Yes, of course.  I have several transgender friends I see regularly, both here in the Washington, DC metro area, and in LA. It's getting to the point I will soon have more transgender friends than cis-gender friends!

~Terri

As far as I know, I never have. But it's always possible I did meet one and did not know it.

I just passed a trans women on my way into the supermarket. I was looking at her thinking "she's tall!" (I'm short so everyone is tall! Lol) and as I was thinking she might be trans, she made a "hmmmm" sound, and I realized by her voice.
But here in NYC I see trans women all the time. But I haven't met any in person since the 90s. 


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I thought I clocked a few in the past, but never let on as I thought it would have been the most supremely rude and insensitive thing I could do.

One lady I found [deadnamed] on the internet after she'd gone stealth. Once on the internet, there is no privacy.

One, who was a shipmate on my submarine, is out and having her own set of issues. We've connected online and I hope to see her this summer for a reunion. I hope to have started HT by then as well.

Oh, and tomorrow is Ingersoll in Seattle, then Gender Odyssey in late August.

Ask me on Saturday morning. As of today I'd have to answer "No" but that may change.

  Hugs,
    Jeanette

Yes a few. Was served by a trans women the other day. We both tried our hardest to disguise the fact that we both clocked each other. :)
Other than that I have just started attending the local TG group, so lots of new people to get to know.

Quote from: Shy on March 01, 2017, 12:23:46 PM
Yes a few. Was served by a trans women the other day. We both tried our hardest to disguise the fact that we both clocked each other. :)

Mutual clocking!  Just had that happen in Vegas this last weekend.  We both realized it at the same moment...eyes lightened briefly and we were off to our own business again.

We visited the Ingersoll group this past Wednesday and had a blast. I met real people who had faces and lives and emotions. All were in various stages of becoming who they are, from just found out to older than the hills.

The boards are a fabulous support and a great way to find new ideas, but a local group can make all the difference of you need it.

Local, however, is a bit of a misnomer, I had to travel nearly three hours to get there. This includes getting lost, missing the ferry, can't find parking, walking five blocks on Seattle hills when we finally did park. But it was worth it for both of us and we plan to return later this month I think.

So to answer the question again, Yes I have met other trans folk.

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    Why yes, yes I have.

     I met a roomful last night when I attended a trans women support group in Portland, Or. It was interesting but I don't believe they were in their best form last night.

  And again yes for meeting our very own Tessa from this forum. That was the best part of being out and about last night and my main incentive for going.

  Hugs,
    Jeanette

Yes, I have met more than a few trans people as I attended a lot of trans group meetings and I helped organizing quite big trans-related parties and events until I had the time to do so. There was a conference where more than 200 trans activists were present and quite a lot of them were transgender.
I've met a few trans people randomly on the streets as well and that is not very strange in the biggest city of the country where a lot of trans people end up because they can't find peace in their hometown.
These meetings, parties and conferences gave me a lot of strength when I needed it and I have met a lot of wonderful people.

Edit: I just remembered that I saw a trans girl in my hometown while I was on a bus with my mother almost 20 years ago. I even remember which bus line it was and which bus stop. She had dark brown shoulder-length bob style hair and she had a light brown coat that I liked very much. And it was her voice that outed her. I think that was the first time I saw someone like me in person and I tried not to stare but I just couldn't help myself. I felt really bad about that later as I know that can make people uncomfortable. I felt a little uneasy as I feared that my mother would recognize that she is trans and that would somehow make my mother realize that I am too.

I was at the pre-party for the Transgender Erotica Awards last night and spent the evening with a room full of some of the most beautiful and erotic trans women in the world. It was an interesting experience to say the least......

Quote from: JeanetteLW on March 04, 2017, 09:57:46 AM
    Why yes, yes I have.

     I met a roomful last night when I attended a trans women support group in Portland, Or. It was interesting but I don't believe they were in their best form last night.

  And again yes for meeting our very own Tessa from this forum. That was the best part of being out and about last night and my main incentive for going.

  Hugs,
    Jeanette

What a treat to meet another one of our sweet sisters in real life.  Just loved being able to share hugs and get to know you a bit better Jeanette.  The Portland Q Center support group seemed to be impacted by political concerns and is not unlike the larger community here.  We have passion but none of us benefit from trashing another or getting into that circular firing squad mode eh?  We could clearly see a very wide spectrum of presentations and attitudes on display.  Diversity is just one of our strengths.
Thanks Jeanette, see ya at the beach next time. :D

Hi Stephanie,

I love my trans community. I'm lucky living in Los Angeles since there is no shortage of trans friends and the number of new ones showing up on the non-binary spectrum are going through the roof.
If you are anything like me you will have a wonderful sense of coming home once you connect with the LGBTQ center support group.
Just as important as the discussion groups is socializing at a cafe or restaurant or other social events with your siblings after and the in between meetings.
You will find that your new friends understand you in a way you never thought possible. Hopefully you will come to love them as your new family [emoji173]
Hugs
Billie


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Quote from: Tessa James on March 04, 2017, 01:07:50 PM
Thanks Jeanette, see ya at the beach next time. :D

Beach??? Trying to scare me away?  There will be a "next time"  Thank you Tessa for being there.

  Hugs,
    Jeanette

From Los Angeles and I see at least one trans woman a day in public. At my last job, which was temp, I sat next to another trans girl. She was cool.

I voted with the majority in this poll. I know several trans folks IRL.

One sister I met was a neighbor, I would pass by her house on my walks. She would be outside tending her garden, and we would wave or exchange "hello", or "nice day" for quite a while. One day as I was visibly changing and transition was obvious, she approached me and introduced herself and said "I am like you". From then on we became friends, it turned out her daughters went to the same school as our daughters. We went to the same surgeon for our GCS about a year apart.

C -

Yes.  I know many, several of them as good friends that I speak with regularly.  Some are out and proud, while others are mostly stealthy like me. 

Yes, but up until last September's Susan's Place meetup only one MtF that I knew about!

Hope to meet a lot more in the future but interestingly, I've never met an FtM guy.  I would really like to as well as I think FtMs and MtFs can learn a hell of a lot from each other!  ;D

Quote from: VickyS on March 29, 2019, 10:24:51 AM
... I've never met an FtM guy.  I would really like to as well as I think FtMs and MtFs can learn a hell of a lot from each other!  ;D

As far as you know!  ;)

I know several FtM gentlemen, as well as non-binary and genderfluid folks through joining and facilitating a group at our local Q center.  The FtM gents who are doing medical transition and seeking to 'pass', even if just using testosterone for a couple years, are remarkable.  On the street I would never 'read' them as trans. 

Appearance-wise, I've seen men who look like portly and distinguished diplomats projecting manly authority, folks that look like they were in a ZZ Top tribute band, to guys that were rediculously pumped up Muscle Beach types.  Folks transitioning to the masc side can be every bit as driven and thorough as those of us transitioning to femme appearance!

Yep  plenty and for those of you that haven't you definitely should.  I think it is part of the process of learning to be OK with ourselves.  Besides more friends is always a good thing.

When I was first transitioning it kind of threw me a bit meeting other transpeople.  We are so conditioned to think it is peculiar.  The first few I met looked strange to me.  I have mentioned this before.  How messed up is it to think that people just like ourselves are strange? 

Answer - it is very messed up.  But that is what living in this world does to condition our thoughts.

Getting to be friends with other transpeople helped me realize how 'normal' I am.  I have met more than 50.

Yes, most of them I met through LGBT groups and the like. I happened to meet a trans man at work once, too, though. He actually joined the job shortly after me. He wasn't out at the time, and of course, neither was I. I was trying not to assume anything about him, but he began to approach me to get closer. I ended up coming out to him via text message, and then he ended up coming out to me, too.  :laugh:

That was great! Who would think they would end up with a trans coworker? Isn't that statistically improbable? lol.

Yes,

Quote from: Virelai on March 30, 2019, 06:58:10 PM
Yes, most of them I met through LGBT groups and the like. I happened to meet a trans man at work once, too, though. He actually joined the job shortly after me. He wasn't out at the time, and of course, neither was I. I was trying not to assume anything about him, but he began to approach me to get closer. I ended up coming out to him via text message, and then he ended up coming out to me, too.  :laugh:

That was great! Who would think they would end up with a trans coworker? Isn't that statistically improbable? lol.

Not as improbable as you would think. I have seen statistics that about 0.4% of the population are trans. That is one trans person in every 250 persons. Plus, that statistic is probably an underestimation, since a lot of trans folks are not out at all and wouldn't be counted in such a tally.

At the place where I work, we have 28,000 employees worldwide and at my location there are close to 1,000 employees. That makes statistically about 112 trans employees worldwide and at my location 4. At times I wonder who the other 3 trans employees would be besides me. Since I am not out, I guess the other 3 probably wonder the same thing... Heck, we might be working together not having the slightest idea what we have in common...


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I assume many saw this topic in a different thread.  We debated the number of transitioned people but I won't reopen that too much.  A study by the Williams Institute (UCLA) states 1.4% of the population identify as trans.  Considering all the people in the closet I think that number is a minimum but probably realistic.

There are 330 people where I work.  I just started that job recently thinking I would be the first.  I am the third.

In public as I was leaving a Dr's appointment, I was in the lift and she asked if I'd just seen the Dr as she wanted to know what was a good time to see him..... I wouldn't have know she was trans but she knew I was ....🙄

I've run into a number of girls randomly over the years, here in San Diego, and in Salt Lake City of all places. The craziest one that I still can't get over though...  flying back from Europe to LA, assigned seats, huge plane,  and I am seating directly next to a transgender woman,  early 20s with her whole family. My wife grew up in Santa Monica,  and this family was from Santa Monica.  Of course, I said nothing in all these situations, as their lives are none of my business, and nothing about me at that time suggested I was trans, for my families' sake.  Granted, it was a flight from the Netherlands, but the odds of two Transwomen sitting directly next to each other still boggles my mind.

Quote from: Kate.claire on April 02, 2019, 02:17:47 AM
the odds of two Transwomen sitting directly next to each other still boggles my mind.

Life's twists and turns that bring about these encounters are fascinating.

Back in Jr HS, I was bullied by a trans woman and it was not good. I was tormented by this person, they were trying to play up a "tough" image and picked on me relentlessly. Later in life a friend that also knew her told me she moved away to WA state and "became a woman", this blew my mind. I was like look at what GD can do to people, it was like way overcompensating for what was going on in her mind, OMG. Then as fate would have it our band had a gig in the small town where she supposedly moved to, that whole night I was there playing at this nightclub, I was checking out all the females way more than usual  :)

I've attended a few meetings of the local trans support group. I haven't gone for a long time, because my work schedule precludes it. Since my last visit, over a year ago, I think I've seen three trans women. Two of them didn't want to be seen; the third was my waitress at a local breakfast place. She was very sweet, and I tipped her well.

I guess the fact that I don't pass is part of the reason. The other two were obviously avoiding my acquaintance, perhaps because they thought that even being seen in my vicinity might make people question them and then realize they weren't cis. Both encounters were in passing at Walmart. The first was a young woman with a purse who barrelled past me, going the other direction, her eyes fixed firmly in front of her. The second was an older lady, very well done up, who found something terribly interesting in the ceiling as I passed her.

I understand their fears. I just wish things could be different. Sometimes I hunger for the company of someone else who "gets it."

Quote from: CynthiaAnn on April 02, 2019, 06:59:02 AM

Back in Jr HS, I was bullied by a trans woman and it was not good. I was tormented by this person, they were trying to play up a "tough" image and picked on me relentlessly...she moved away to WA state and "became a woman"...

Hey, I met a girl in WA state that said she was a huge bully in school to try to overcompensate and feels so awful about how she treated people way back then. I also went to a small town in WA with her and others to watch an all trans band perform.  Spooky!  🤣

Quote from: Kate.claire on April 02, 2019, 08:10:22 PM
Hey, I met a girl in WA state that said she was a huge bully in school to try to overcompensate and feels so awful about how she treated people way back then. I also went to a small town in WA with her and others to watch an all trans band perform.  Spooky!  🤣

I know it is spooky  :) the sound you hear in the background is the theme from twilight zone.... du.du.du.du..

I would forgive her today, because I truly understand what's it's like to live with GD, OMG

Quote from: Ann W on April 02, 2019, 05:02:12 PM
I've attended a few meetings of the local trans support group. I haven't gone for a long time, because my work schedule precludes it. Since my last visit, over a year ago, I think I've seen three trans women. Two of them didn't want to be seen; the third was my waitress at a local breakfast place. She was very sweet, and I tipped her well.

I guess the fact that I don't pass is part of the reason. The other two were obviously avoiding my acquaintance, perhaps because they thought that even being seen in my vicinity might make people question them and then realize they weren't cis. Both encounters were in passing at Walmart. The first was a young woman with a purse who barrelled past me, going the other direction, her eyes fixed firmly in front of her. The second was an older lady, very well done up, who found something terribly interesting in the ceiling as I passed her.

I understand their fears. I just wish things could be different. Sometimes I hunger for the company of someone else who "gets it."

In the first 6 months to a year that I was out I probably would have been one of those people looking at the ceiling.
Hate to admit it but it's true.

Those that don't want to be associated with others that might cause them to be 'clocked' have not yet conquered their own internalized transphobia.  Mine is almost dead but once in awhile it tries to raise its ugly head with its last dying breath.

Feel good about YOU.  You have more courage than they do and you know what?  Some people in public are very nice to us.  Extremely so.  They are trying to show their support.  Be out and proud and enjoy those that want to show they support you because you deserve it !!!

I spent the weekend in Las Vegas with an amazing group of trans women.  A couple were doctors (including the lady who put the event together to launch her new health care company), another lawyer, a construction company owner, a research scientist, a member of the Board of Directors of GLAAD and a number of other professionals.  It was fun to among a group of successful and inspirational trans women.  Here's a picture from our dinner at Spago's.

Quote from: KimOct on April 02, 2019, 09:35:58 PM
In the first 6 months to a year that I was out I probably would have been one of those people looking at the ceiling.
Hate to admit it but it's true.

Those that don't want to be associated with others that might cause them to be 'clocked' have not yet conquered their own internalized transphobia.  Mine is almost dead but once in awhile it tries to raise its ugly head with its last dying breath.

Feel good about YOU.  You have more courage than they do and you know what?  Some people in public are very nice to us.  Extremely so.  They are trying to show their support.  Be out and proud and enjoy those that want to show they support you because you deserve it !!!

Thank you, sweetie.  :)

I spend a lot of time representing online, because I can; and it's hard, sometimes, although I do get the odd support votes, now and then. If you're familiar with the Old Testament, I feel very much like the prophet Jeremiah. No one wants to hear what you have to say, yet you know it's the truth.

We endure.

Quote from: KimOct on April 01, 2019, 08:20:52 PM
There are 330 people where I work.  I just started that job recently thinking I would be the first.  I am the third.

KimOct that sounds amazing to me.
We are over 1300 people where I work and I think I am the only one and the first one....

Hi!

I've met a total of four transgender girls *my age* in person, two of which from a support group my parent joined. Funny story: one of the girls from the support group I had known as a guy years ago--I had wondered where he went.

My mom is also friends with a transgender woman who also happened to move to the US around the same time as us from our home country.

---

Regarding trans guys: I know one, closely. He's been my friend for a few years and was one of the first people to know about me. He also began medically transitioning about a year or so ago and he's coming along quite nicely!

- Chantal

I wish I had a wee group or something :/

Oh yes. And these days I see some of us everywhere! Trans guys not as often as far as I know. Saw a young trans guy at a Goodwill clothes shopping one time. I didn't pick up that he was trans but my wife did. Now that we are living in a rural area I don't see any trans girls out and about but when we were living near a larger town I noticed a few trans women in different places. Kind of neat to see that nobody else but me even notice them. I notice because I always judge myself and I look for traits subconsciously.

I started my transition at the age of 12, and I've never met anyone who's transgender in real life, maybe it's because I don't live in a big city, and I've never met anyone else who have a similar age to mine (i have 16 now), because most of them are adults who work for sexual services, so yes, never.

I always was attracted to transwomen (still am!) so yes. 

The first transwoman I really got to know was my neighbour Katherine.  She was not the most pleasant neighbour, frankly, and was rather heavy set, but I noticed she was never lacking for company, that there was a revolving door of young men who came to see her, and she wasn't a "working girl".  That always stuck with me. 

Katherine is no longer with us, and from that I resolved to have a life plan for transitioning, because too many transwomen leave us too early.  Even though we were not tight I learned a great deal from her.

Voice coach - trans woman (and youtuber)
Family friends child is trans male
Worked with two trans women, and suspected that there were some really stealth trans males too
A few out in public in passing
Trans girl working at the starbucks I got coffee at every day

Since I have been reunited with my true self, I have been more able to see others like me

Ricki

Yes;
Since I first posted in 2016 I have met some other wonderful Women, not least Kendra who I spent a glorious couple of days in London with in May 2018 and also EmmaF  who I have met in both Milton Keynes and in London both times in 2018. Both are absolutely amazing women whose friendships I value very much.
JudithLynn