Have you ever met another transgender in person

[DawnOday]

Michelle_p    Esprit focuses on changing lives for the better and creating pride and self-respect for anyone who is transgender. 

[VickyMI]

Hundreds of them at Chicago Be All. 

I sure miss that conference. So much fun.

[Karen_A]

I've never even run into a person of transition (that I know of) out in the wild, in my ordinary life, away from trans-specific spaces.

I met a lot back in the day too. Likely somewhere between 50 and 100 in the years i when to support groups (I originally  went to what what was then a large regional group through someone I met on-line and was a founding member of a small local support group) and a couple of events (I went to Fantasia Fair once at the advice of my therapist, and went to Full Circle Of Women (FCOW) once... By the time I was ready for it the New Woman Conference (NWC) has ceased)

And I did meet some when I had my FFS and SRS.

But I'm sure I have seen some TSes out in the wild... Once on the street in San Francisco, 2 at a women only event, one out in the street locally - though they were likely on their way to the psychiatrist's office I had just come after getting my second letter for surgery, as well as few others over the years.

All of that is a long while ago... It's been 2 or 3 years since I have seen or gotten together with anyone.

- Karen

[karenpayneoregon]

I'm involved with two transgender/cross dresser local groups. One in my town I know about 12 while in another group who travels down to my town several hundred. Out of all of them, only one other is post-op like me.

Outside of these groups I have seen many but only made contact with two, once at a mall shopping and once at StarBucks. The one at the mall spoke, did not have a female voice while the one at Starbucks was a friend of a friend.

Usually the give-away is their manner of dress, and of these made no contact.

A week after GRS a owner (post-op) of another transgender site visited me. I know her before when I was teaching a firearms self defense class where she was a student, I was the instructor. It was super nice of her to visit me in California from Oregon and took me out for dinner.

Also met a cross-dresser from yet another site, mainly cross-dressers at a local mall in Oregon while she was visiting from Canada.

Lastly out of the two groups in the local area, I'm friends with the one other male-female and one cross-dresser.

[Michelle_P]

Michelle_p    Esprit focuses on changing lives for the better and creating pride and self-respect for anyone who is transgender.

Good to know.  I might give that a try, then.

I'm involved with a local group, like Karen.  There is a good representation of the various degrees of transgender folks that present female, as in the broader population, mostly just occasionally presenting female, a few getting some medical treatment, and a very small portion on the GRS path.  It's mostly a fun group of folks.

Usually the give-away is their manner of dress, and of these made no contact.

Yeah.  Oddly, I now feel reassured that I have a pretty good sense of fashion and proper presentation.  I don't own a single cocktail dress with one sequined breast and sleeve. 

There are some oddities in the community that I've noticed.  Another transgender social group here has been the topic of some discussion, after they apparently 'purged' the medically transitioning members and became a purely cross-dresser group.  That move sort of shouts "Insecurity much?"

It has always struck me, though, how after transitioning, so many women and men just vanish from the community and go fully stealth.  I sometimes wonder if they find all the support they need elsewhere, or if they are living a life like I used to live, essentially hiding in fear that someone will discover my secret and out me.  I don't think I could go back to that.

[Tessa James]

It has always struck me, though, how after transitioning, so many women and men just vanish from the community and go fully stealth.  I sometimes wonder if they find all the support they need elsewhere, or if they are living a life like I used to live, essentially hiding in fear that someone will discover my secret and out me.  I don't think I could go back to that.

Yes, I have noticed that here and in real time.  I need to be social and enjoy being part of building community.  We have people that drop in for a single meeting and then people who don't want to have a primary trans identity once they are further or past transition.  I get that and can understand how much better it might feel to just blend in, not be hassled and not feel so damn different while knowing there are supportive people and groups around.  Ultimately I share that sense of secrets that just about killed me once and that is not a path I will choose to walk again.

[TransAm]

It has always struck me, though, how after transitioning, so many women and men just vanish from the community and go fully stealth.  I sometimes wonder if they find all the support they need elsewhere, or if they are living a life like I used to live, essentially hiding in fear that someone will discover my secret and out me.  I don't think I could go back to that.

I've often wished that I could leave almost everyone I knew pre-T behind, come back 4-5 years later, and be reintroduced as someone else.
There's a strong desire for me to go stealth and glide under the radar, mostly because I'm just done talking about it. You know the drill: Revealing yourself as trans to most people leads to a million questions. I've been answering them, holding hands, taking fire and explaining our existence for years. It's really worn me out, to be honest. There's a good chance that my question answering has helped a lot of people become somewhat more understanding over the years, but... I don't want to live the rest of my life as a search engine.
Now, relaying stories and circumstances that used to make me feel emotional have now become very clinical and disconnected.

I'm currently at the point where I just don't want any recognition whatsoever for being trans--positive or negative--throughout my daily life. Obviously I can't speak for anyone but myself when it comes to possible motivations for being stealth, but mine were born less of fear and more of exhaustion. This forum is the last place I frequent from time to time just to see how others are coming along. As far as being involved in the community... I guess I'm not at all anyway. I've always been sort of on the fringe of things.


As far as meeting or seeing other trans people out and about, I'm certain I've seen several. I've definitely seen three other transitioning FTM's (I immediately recognized the changes they were going through as I went through the same), a handful of suspected stealth FTM's and a few MTF's. I've never spoken to any of them but one of the transitioning FTM's works at the Target around here and we always give one another the 'I see you' glance. It will probably never go beyond that.

[kaitylynn]

I have met plenty of people transitioning (varying phases) and know of more than a few that have gone dark to the community after reaching a certain point.  At about 5 years, a lot of brothers and sisters tire of being swept up in the challenges facing the newly forming siblings.  They just want to live their lives and so they do not openly identify as trans any longer.

I participate in a support group and also frequent places where trans people congregate.  They know me, I know them to whatever extent seems appropriate.  I live in an area with a very robust community.

[lostcharlie]

 hmmmm...... bunches and bunches. Taking a walk down memory lane now. 40 years ago not long out of high school got a job as a correctional officer at a major metropolitan jail. From the first day on the job got to interact with the "professional" trans girls in the area on an almost daily basis. Must say at 19 and not yet really having wrapped my brain around who or what I was, I'm sure it contributed in a small way to burying my true self even deeper. No disrespect to the ladies, they were just living their life the best the could.
Interesting side note with all the anti trans furor going on now. All of the officers gave the same respect to the trans girls that they gave to other inmates. Only difference they were keep separate from the rest of the inmates for their safety.
In the years since no clue if I might have met any until I started going to a group about a year ago. Jessica.

[kittenpower]

I have met plenty of people transitioning (varying phases) and know of more than a few that have gone dark to the community after reaching a certain point.  At about 5 years, a lot of brothers and sisters tire of being swept up in the challenges facing the newly forming siblings.  They just want to live their lives and so they do not openly identify as trans any longer.

I participate in a support group and also frequent places where trans people congregate.  They know me, I know them to whatever extent seems appropriate.  I live in an area with a very robust community.

Out and proud no more closets for me 🍾🎉

[judithlynn]

Lots and Lots of wonderful friends;

In the United kingdom:
My girl friend Padma in Exeter, Samantha (and her wife Susan) in Torquay, Julie in Bournemouth, Alexandra in Dorset, Aeryn and Samy in Redhill, Mia in Slough, Samantha in Maidenhead, Amy in Cambridge, Kate & Tamzin in London, Caitlin in  Suffolk, Katherine from Northampton and my new friend Amber in Cumbria.  Other people I have met at the Way Out Club and the amazing Pink Punters in Milton Keynes (great Saturday nights)

In Australia;
Catherine Sarah, Cindy, Steph, Elise and Rebecca plus all the girls from Alphabet Soup in Melbourne

In the USA,
My special girl friends Eva Marie, Jill F and her amazing wife Kath and not forgetting Breanne all in California.

In Marbella, Spain
All the wonderful team at Jenny's Nest especially Jenny, Nicola Jane & Keira

I am sure I have missed someone.
Judith

[Sophia Sage]

It has always struck me, though, how after transitioning, so many women and men just vanish from the community and go fully stealth.  I sometimes wonder if they find all the support they need elsewhere, or if they are living a life like I used to live, essentially hiding in fear that someone will discover my secret and out me.  I don't think I could go back to that.

No fear here -- after so many years of not bringing it up, and not having it brought up, I just take it for granted.  It's no secret that I'm a woman.

But yes, many of us who practice non-disclosure get support elsewhere, primarily from each other.  A couple of other such women are dear friends of mine, but in another part of the country -- we see each other every two to three years, depending on our schedules. 

There's a strong desire for me to go stealth and glide under the radar, mostly because I'm just done talking about it. You know the drill: Revealing yourself as trans to most people leads to a million questions. I've been answering them, holding hands, taking fire and explaining our existence for years. It's really worn me out, to be honest. There's a good chance that my question answering has helped a lot of people become somewhat more understanding over the years, but... I don't want to live the rest of my life as a search engine...

I'm currently at the point where I just don't want any recognition whatsoever for being trans--positive or negative--throughout my daily life. Obviously I can't speak for anyone but myself when it comes to possible motivations for being stealth, but mine were born less of fear and more of exhaustion.

Yes, this is something that happens with an open narrative.  I found it disconcerting.  I think because in these situations it was like I wasn't actually being seen anymore -- it was like being pigeonholed, and suddenly all my foibles were subject to "constructive criticism" and all my good points that had nothing to do with it just didn't come up on people's radar at all. 

And then it goes away, because the conversation has been exhausted.  Well, until the next person is told.  Bloody hamster wheel, it is.

But, and this could be an important "but," that was all during transition.  After transition, I basically started a new life without the narrative.  Maybe it's different nearly a couple a decades later.  Not that I plan on finding out anytime soon. 

Out and proud no more closets for me 🍾🎉

Funny thing is, at least for me, this way of life doesn't feel like a closet at all.

     Before one goes through the gate
     one may not be aware there is a gate
     One may think there is a gate to go through
     and look a long time for it
     without finding it

     One may find it and
     it may not open
     If it opens one may be through it
     As one goes through it
     one sees that the gate one went through
     was the self that went through it

     no one went through a gate
     there was no gate to go through
     no one ever found a gate
     no one ever realized there was never a gate

          -- r.d. laing

[I Am Jess]

I have met only a few, but Jessie has been a gem.  She is a wonderful person, and someone who has inspired me to have fun and enjoy life as a transwoman. I try to see her every time I am in LA. 

~Terri

Ahhhhh thank you girlfriend, I just saw this.  I've met a lot of the ladies from this board over the last year and a half and all of you inspire me. Getting to met people who are making changes in their lives and discovering their true selves is remarkable. We can all learn things from each other because of our varied backgrounds and life experiences.   

Don't be afraid to reach out to others. I have had such wonderful experiences meeting and getting to know the members of our community.  I have met actors, actresses, scientists, billionaires, firefighters, police offices, factory workers, fast food workers, doctors, lawyers, individuals on disability, real estate professionals and computer geniuses and who knows how many other professions. I have learned a little something from all of them. So get out there and meet your brothers and sisters. Reach out to them here or on other social media platforms. You will not be disappointed.

[Galyo]

Yes, though I've mostly met FTM transgender people.

[Nikolai]

I've served two that I know of irl but not sat down and had a proper conversation with one, but online most of my Friends are f2m,

[Claire_Sydney]

Have you ever met someone other than yourself who is transgender. I have personally only met one other . I worked with a trans guy. This is going to change pretty soon once I start attending a support group at the LGBTQ... health clinic..

Ohh, my god yes.  I can't imagine what life would be like without my trans friends. 

I saw and chatted with three other trans people today (two of whom are living stealth) at my electro place.  I had dinner with another trans friend last night, and lunch with about 10 of us on Sunday. 

I have loads of trans friends, both men and women.  I have loads of cis friends, both men and women too.  I went to a TDOR gathering where there were about 300 people a couple of weeks ago.  I met and chatted with a trans police officer there.  I used to drop into the local transgender support centre occasionally and chat with people, but it's not really my thing these days.  I prefer a casual catch-up with my closer friends over a coffee or a walk in the park.

I know maybe a dozen other Susan's members in person, and catch up with all of them from time to time.

The only environment where I don't know any other trans people is at my workplace.  There are 1,100 people.  I know a high proportion of them, but don't know of a single other trans person.  Sometimes that can feel a little lonely, but I have plenty of people outside of work to talk with.

[Laura_Ann]

I have known one for 15+ years, and (Blush) until this year I never knew she was.  It was only as I came out that I found out she was.

I also work with 2, one other MtF and one FtM, as well as some friends on Facebook who I have meet out and about.

[AnneK]

Yes.  There was a M-F at a company I used to work for.  There was another I knew at a Linux group.  I have met or seen others, though not known them personally.

[Inarasarah]

The first trans woman I ever met was Caroline Cossey in Atlanta in 1992.  I never met anyone else I knew was trans until I transitioned in 2002.  Since then I have come to know hundreds of trans men and women through my advocacy work.  I was honored to go to the first transgender vagina monologues in LA, I think this was in 2004.  But most important to me are the five close friends I have who I came to know when we transitioned.  We all shared a time in our lives that was important and the bond we hold is precious to me.

[Artesia]

Met?  Probably at least one, and one that I grew up near, but that was before they became a woman.  Seen, at least 4, but didn't interact with them.  I really wanted to talk to two of them, as the one was at a game store in Indianapolis, and looked like she was only a little further along than I, but she was rocking a skirt/dress and combat boots.  She used a fan to cover her face, I probably looked like a creepy guy stealing glances.  If you're on here, sorry to weird you out.