Do I look female? .......I don't really know but I saw a lady today I haven't seen for about 7 years and she didn't notice any difference in me from before. She didn't ask if I had a 'sex change' or anything like that or even suspected anthing, and I think the reason was because I am so close to how I lwas before. I've always looked androgenous and I've always been the way I am now. I was a musician and so it came with the teritory and so people do not suspect anything, which can be very anoying.
It must be a lot easier for someone who looked male and acted male and had short hair and wore a suit and then make a drastic change in image. With me, no one notices anything at all. I can flash my new earings to people I haven't seen for years and there's no startled reaction. Just 'oh yea they look nice'.......
My tits haven't grown enough to be visable enough (been on hormones since 1998) so I'm starting to think it's all a bit of waste of time. I have got a boob job lined up and it might help but I am depressed by people's reactions.
People I have never met before see me only as female but previous people I know or knew before call me 'mate' or refer to me as 'he'.....
Anyone else get this kind of thing?
Judging by your picture, either she is blind or you always looked somewhat feminine and she didn't want to take a chance of offending you.
Just my thoughts.
Sarah L.
Quote from: Berliegh on November 09, 2007, 11:15:35 AM
It must be a lot easier for someone who looked male...
Good point. I always had short hair and looked like the usual guy. And oh yes, it's totally obvious to people who haven't seen me for a long time that I've transitioned... if they even recognize me. I look very, VERY different.
The only SIR I've had from someone I've known was from a waitress who knew me as a guy (regular customer). She wasn't being mean, nor was it a reflection of my appearance... she just assumed for some naive reason that I was still the "guy" she knew looking like a woman now. Though, to be fair, she probably thought it presumptuous to just start referring to me as "her," regardless of how I looked. She knew I looked female, but didn't know WHY. But she changed her mind before long, and spent the rest of our dinner talking "girltalk" with me to make up for it, everything being "she" and "her" now ;)
~Kate~
The boobs, or lack there of, might have something to do with it. If you were androgenous to begin with and there's been no drastic visible changes, it might just not be all that apparent.
Obvious is the dockworker turned vegas showgirl.
Quote from: Sarah Louise on November 09, 2007, 11:38:29 AM
Judging by your picture, either she is blind or you always looked somewhat feminine and she didn't want to take a chance of offending you.
Just my thoughts.
Sarah L.
No, she's quite observant. The problem is I haven't changed enough and I always looked feminine. I think she fancied feminine guys and it looks like she still sees me the same. Guys in the music business do look feminine (try going to an Aerosmith concert and see some of the audience) and so the bounderies are not pushed enough in my case..
Posted on: November 09, 2007, 03:08:20 PM
Quote from: Enigma on November 09, 2007, 12:08:47 PM
The boobs, or lack there of, might have something to do with it. If you were androgenous to begin with and there's been no drastic visible changes, it might just not be all that apparent.
Obvious is the dockworker turned vegas showgirl.
I think you are closer with your point Enigma. Hormones haven't changed anything on me and so people who knew me before see me as before. The boob job might be a turning point in gaining some kind of female shape and make her notice..
Quote from: Berliegh on November 09, 2007, 02:11:17 PM
Quote from: Sarah Louise on November 09, 2007, 11:38:29 AM
Judging by your picture, either she is blind or you always looked somewhat feminine and she didn't want to take a chance of offending you.
Just my thoughts.
Sarah L.
No, she's quite observant. The problem is I haven't changed enough and I always looked feminine. I think she fancied feminine guys and it looks like she still sees me the same. Guys in the music business do look feminine (try going to an Aerosmith concert and see some of the audience) and so the bounderies are not pushed enough in my case..
Posted on: November 09, 2007, 03:08:20 PM
Quote from: Enigma on November 09, 2007, 12:08:47 PM
The boobs, or lack there of, might have something to do with it. If you were androgenous to begin with and there's been no drastic visible changes, it might just not be all that apparent.
Obvious is the dockworker turned vegas showgirl.
I think you are closer with your point Enigma. Hormones haven't changed anything on me and so people who knew me before see me as before. The boob job might be a turning point in gaining some kind of female shape and make her notice..
Your shape IS female. Every woman isn't a Marilyn Monroe clone.
Hi Berliegh.
I see the photo you have here as very feminine. You know there is always some ass hole that's going to piss on you parade and call you by the dreaded, he, him, etc but it has only happened to me twice in all 7 years I have lived as Cindy in the small town of Midland Ont. I have never heard anyone address me as anything else except by ma'am, or miss, here in Vancouver. No one knows who I am here. Anyway I dealt with it by politely correcting them when someone addressed me in the wrong gender, which as I said only happened twice in seven years.
I was accosted by a drunk once who was trying to steel my purse, he tried to hit me in the face with his fist but luckily his fist kept sliding off to the side, to drunk to hit right. Luckily all I got out of it was a black eye. I managed to pull it away and whacked him on the side of the head, that bought me enough time to get in the car and lock it. I have not had any other mishaps with anyone, female or male since then.
I believe you just need to have a better self image of yourself, be proud of who you are and don't expect approval from the rest of the world.
Cindy
Quote from: cindybc on November 09, 2007, 08:00:53 PM
Hi Berliegh.
I see the photo you have here as very feminine. You know there is always some ass hole that's going to piss on you parade and call you by the dreaded, he, him, etc but it has only happened to me twice in all 7 years I have lived as Cindy in the small town of Midland Ont. I have never heard anyone address me as anything else except by ma'am, or miss, here in Vancouver. No one knows who I am here. Anyway I dealt with it by politely correcting them when someone addressed me in the wrong gender, which as I said only happened twice in seven years.
I was accosted by a drunk once who was trying to steel my purse, he tried to hit me in the face with his fist but luckily his fist kept sliding off to the side, to drunk to hit right. Luckily all I got out of it was a black eye. I managed to pull it away and whacked him on the side of the head, that bought me enough time to get in the car and lock it. I have not had any other mishaps with anyone, female or male since then.
I believe you just need to have a better self image of yourself, be proud of who you are and don't expect approval from the rest of the world.
Cindy
The point I was trying to make Cindy was that people who knew me before see little change if any at all. I haven't really changed and have remained looking the same since I was about 13. So if people see me who I knew before they don't see any drastic change. It would have been easier if I was a stereo type male and then changed over but this hasn't been the case with me.
Complete strangers or people I have only known recently do see me as female which can sometimes confuse the peope I know in the past if the two people meet...
Hi Berliegh
In that case, maybe it's time you moved on. I moved from place to place in most of the eastern parts of Canada and US before I found a place I thought I could make root's. But here I am once again moved from one side of the continent to the other. Maybe I needed all the moving about to learn who I am and how to fit in and also how I can be of assistance to anyone in need. If there is anyway you can do it maybe you might want to check out Vancouver where I am now. People are friendly and health insurance covers SRS.
Cindy
Quote from: cindybc on November 10, 2007, 06:18:20 AM
Hi Berliegh
In that case, maybe it's time you moved on. I moved from place to place in most of the eastern parts of Canada and US before I found a place I thought I could make root's. But here I am once again moved from one side of the continent to the other. Maybe I needed all the moving about to learn who I am and how to fit in and also how I can be of assistance to anyone in need. If there is anyway you can do it maybe you might want to check out Vancouver where I am now. People are friendly and health insurance covers SRS.
Cindy
I agree with you Cindy, but I still have to deal with leaving relatives and people connected with my relatives. I can't not see my mum or sister again or move so far away that I can only see her every few years. I don't really want to cut myself off from my family. Also I like a lot of old aquantances even if they don't suspect any changes and they are my friends and it's not their fault they can't see what I'm trying to do. I did live a very androgenous lifestyle before and they still see me as a guy who for years looked like a girl rather than a guy who is trying to 'be' a girl......
Hi Berliegh
Ok what you say I can understand. I was Quite androgynous for a good many years, actually I looked more like a girl and a lot of people thought I was a girl when during my teen years. I never really tried to correct anyone when they addressed me as the other gender. I never Identified as neither anyway. I had even let my hair grow down to waist long. But in later years I was quite androgynous. I am quite happy with how I look now especially for a 62 year old.
Of course if you still have family left that still care and accept you it would make it very difficult to leave. I had nobody or anything holding me back, family all turned their back on me. I have my loving Wing Walker and she is worth more to me then her weight in gold.
Early transition 5 years ago, just overcoming anorexia
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi11.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fa191%2Fcynthiag932%2Findigocindy_edited1.jpg&hash=c5223798ab1e5fc873128b9b0bd76e95f5860437)
This pic was last winter. I have newer ones I am getting developed.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi11.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fa191%2Fcynthiag932%2FF1000021-2.jpg&hash=a5101a886c40f2ee4bfce91254cdb1c8ab9bf52d)
Quote from: cindybc on November 10, 2007, 06:56:36 AM
Hi Berliegh
Ok what you say I can understand. I was Quite androgynous for a good many years, actually I looked more like a girl and a lot of people thought I was a girl when during my teen years. I never really tried to correct anyone when they addressed me as the other gender. I never Identified as neither anyway. I had even let my hair grow down to waist long. But in later years I was quite androgynous. I am quite happy with how I look now especially for a 62 year old.
Of course if you still have family left that still care and accept you it would make it very difficult to leave. I had nobody or anything holding me back, family all turned their back on me. I have my loving Wing Walker and she is worth more to me then her weight in gold.
Early transition 5 years ago, just overcoming anorexia
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi11.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fa191%2Fcynthiag932%2Findigocindy_edited1.jpg&hash=c5223798ab1e5fc873128b9b0bd76e95f5860437)
This pic was last winter. I have newer ones I am getting developed.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi11.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fa191%2Fcynthiag932%2FF1000021-2.jpg&hash=a5101a886c40f2ee4bfce91254cdb1c8ab9bf52d)
I only had my hair cut short once in 1983......never again...
[/quote]
I don't really want to cut myself off from my family. Also I like a lot of old acquaintances even if they don't suspect any changes and they are my friends and it's not their fault they can't see what I'm trying to do.
[/quote]
Berliegh hi,
Tell your old friends and family you have Gender Dysphoria (may be you will have to explain what that is) and you are now living as a female and want to be known as such from now on.
may be you have done that with old friends, if you have forget what I said it was just a thought.
Hope all goes well on the 3rd Dec.
Nigella.
Quote from: Nigella on November 10, 2007, 09:30:46 AM
Tell your old friends and family you have Gender Dysphoria (may be you will have to explain what that is) and you are now living as a female and want to be known as such from now on.
Right! Exactly. Is your female name legal? Do they call you by a female name... yet still not get it?
~Kate~
Quote from: Kate on November 10, 2007, 09:56:16 AM
Quote from: Nigella on November 10, 2007, 09:30:46 AM
Tell your old friends and family you have Gender Dysphoria (may be you will have to explain what that is) and you are now living as a female and want to be known as such from now on.
Right! Exactly. Is your female name legal? Do they call you by a female name... yet still not get it?
~Kate~
Yes, of course it is legal. I changed my name details over in 2003. (drving licence, passport, National insurance, council tax, bank accounts etc) and I did tell people about my gender dyphoria quite a few years ago now....about 2000 I think....
But what you tell people doesn't make any difference, they will act the same towards you and as I have always looked about the same, it's harder for them to except. Only my sister has made the effort and calls me by my legal female name. I can wear anything but it doesn't cut any ice as people have been used to me being quite feminine over the years. When I told people that I was TS I just got the 'not surprised' replies..
One friend suggested I go on Hormones.....I had to tell them I'd been on hormones for years.....but it's not very apparent. They might take notice after the boob job, FFS and possibly some lipo to the waist to gain some kind of feminine shape, then they might realise I want more than to just look female..
Quote from: Berliegh on November 09, 2007, 11:15:35 AM
Do I look female? .......I don't really know but I saw a lady today I haven't seen for about 7 years and she didn't notice any difference in me from before. She didn't ask if I had a 'sex change' or anything like that or even suspected anthing, and I think the reason was because I am so close to how I lwas before. I've always looked androgenous and I've always been the way I am now. I was a musician and so it came with the teritory and so people do not suspect anything, which can be very anoying.
It must be a lot easier for someone who looked male and acted male and had short hair and wore a suit and then make a drastic change in image. With me, no one notices anything at all. I can flash my new earings to people I haven't seen for years and there's no startled reaction. Just 'oh yea they look nice'.......
My tits haven't grown enough to be visable enough (been on hormones since 1998) so I'm starting to think it's all a bit of waste of time. I have got a boob job lined up and it might help but I am depressed by people's reactions.
People I have never met before see me only as female but previous people I know or knew before call me 'mate' or refer to me as 'he'.....
Anyone else get this kind of thing?
IMO that's just totally unacceptable and rather rude, Berliegh. If I were you, I would stop being friends with people that know me from before (no one needs that kind of drama). But again, that's just me!
tink :icon_chick:
Quote from: Tink on November 10, 2007, 11:17:51 AM
IMO that's just totally unacceptable and rather rude, Berliegh. If I were you, I would stop being friends with people that know me from before (no one needs that kind of drama). But again, that's just me!
Agreed. If they know you have a female name now, and know you ARE female in identity... yet still refer to you using the male name and pronouns... then they're being obnoxious, not unobservant.
My friends and coworkers began calling me Kate and "her" shortly after I came out to them, because THEY felt it appropriate once they knew about me, not because my appearance had changed. Once they understood how I felt, they knew male references would hurt me, so they made every effort to make that adjustment (although "slips" of course happened).
Do your friends understand how important this is to you? Is it possible that even knowing your female name and identity, they just think it's "playing around" and don't take it seriously? Have you told them that male references HURT you? Have you specifically told them that you're a female, and would appreciate them making an effort to respect that?
IMHO, your appearance shouldn't matter to your friends. I get that a change in appearance can make it easier to prompt people to make the switch in name and pronouns. But STILL, I think friends should make that effort regardless, just because they *care* about you.
~Kate~
Quote from: Kate on November 10, 2007, 11:55:18 AM
My friends and coworkers began calling me Kate and "her" shortly after I came out to them, because THEY felt it appropriate once they knew about me, not because my appearance had changed. Once they understood how I felt, they knew male references would hurt me, so they made every effort to make that adjustment (although "slips" of course happened).
Do your friends understand how important this is to you? Is it possible that even knowing your female name and identity, they just think it's "playing around" and don't take it seriously? Have you told them that male references HURT you? Have you specifically told them that you're a female, and would appreciate them making an effort to respect that?
IMHO, your appearance shouldn't matter to your friends. I get that a change in appearance can make it easier to prompt people to make the switch in name and pronouns. But STILL, I think friends should make that effort regardless, just because they *care* about you.
~Kate~
That's really nice that they repect you.
I have shown my friends several of my IS test results which says I'm female. It doesn't cut any ice and they refer to me as 'he' all the time. It cuts me like a knife and is hurtful, my mum does it too and says she'll call me what ever she likes..
My appearance hasn't changed, so they see the same person and identify me as 'he' all the time even if strangers identify me as female..
Hi Kim,
Over the time I've been a member here I have read many of your posts and I get the message regarding how disappointed you are with the non-effects of your hormone treatment. I know you don't see it this way, but I think you are lucky that you've always been female looking. As you have said before, photos don't always give a true impression, but (and I'm sure I may have told you this before) I would pay any money if I could look just like you the way you are right now.
You don't want to hear my life story I'm sure, but believe me I'm fighting against years of being a male doing a hard physical job and I detest my appearance, so in some small way I understand what you are going through. I try to console myself by telling myself everything will be great when I'm on hormones, but I know in my heart I may experience the same disappointment as you.
Although my heart loves it when people on here tell me of all the wonderful effects that hrt will have on me, my head tells me that the advice you've given me in the past, i.e. don't expect too much, is probably right.
I hope that the breast augmentation surgery will help you get the confidence you need.
Best wishes and good luck,
Louise
Hi Kate, Louise, Berleigh.
Wow, this a good example of friends coming together to help one another.
First Kate, on the job and the people around town have never given me a problem with the use of the proper pronoun, except for maybe a few slips in the beginning whom I promptly corrected. Maybe I was lucky but I never had any problems that way.
And Louise you are quite right I would give anything for may face to look like Berleigh. I have been lucky to be on a disability pension for the past 20 years so that I could not any longer do physical work so I went on to learn to be a Social Worker which I think was probably the most fulfilling job I ever had.
Cindy
Two cents and then I am gone. Berleigh, it is NOT you. It is the way people gender other people. It is done in something less than 5 seconds and it lasts a lifetime.
Your old friends probably are able to see changes, quite well. Their psychological make-ups, all of our human make-ups, decide gender quickly and then use that gender almost exclusively afterwards. Your old friends are unable to break out of the gendering they have done for years and years. Few people are able to break that.
OTH, if you were to be among new friends for awhile who have gendered you female and then told one of them say after a year that you had once been designated male, that person would 99% likely always refer to you with female pronouns, etc. They also would not be able to break the patterning.
It's just the way the mind/brain works, somewhere deep in the hypothalamus the pattern is not subject to change. Once it's formed it remains firm.
The advice about dropping old friends who cannot find a new way of referring to you is probably the best you can get. Or you can maintain the old relationships and have this continue to drive you mad.
Hi,
And another 2 cents, if you don't mind. I had this exact same thing last year with
a friend. Now we were friends for over 30 years, and it was a shock to him and his wife. I was VERY understanding with them and did not push it, so they would get used to jennifer. I changed my name back in 1994. Fast forward 2006...They were much better but still kept sliping up with him name. I was one of two people that was to help out at a big social function for their kid. A week before still the he stuff, and the other person that was to help was doing it. Many people comming never met me in my past life. I stated that if this did not stop NOW, I would be a no show and stick it to the other person to have to do all the work. Well that got horrified looks. Later on guess what...yup he etc. Well I went off the deep end, you want to call me him...I'll give you him. I called them every dirty word I could think of. I did not show up for the event, and did not talk to them for 9 months. I ran into them awhile back and we are talking again.
It comes to a point where you must show them how serious YOU really are. I was told you will regret having SRS/GRS. Well it's 10 years...I have no regret.
Jennifer
P.S. If you see any spelling mistakes...keep it to yourself :)
Hi Jenifer, like wise if I make any spelling mistakes, I would be lost without my spell check. Also wanted to say, way to go on how you handled the Mr. stuff. You sound like my mate Wing Walker if someone uses the wrong pronoun on her. ;D
Cindy
Quote from: cindybc on November 10, 2007, 07:09:13 PM
Hi Kate, Louise, Berleigh.
Wow, this a good example of friends coming together to help one another.
First Kate, on the job and the people around town have never given me a problem with the use of the proper pronoun, except for maybe a few slips in the beginning whom I promptly corrected. Maybe I was lucky but I never had any problems that way.
Cindy
Thanks everyone for your hrelpful comments..
Cindy, If I correct the people I know they become agressive and abusive which makes the relationship worse. Of friends who have known me at least 15 years they won't ever except my transition. After 7 years of being Kimberley they have just about got to the point of calling me Kim but they still refer to me as 'He' or 'Him'....
My mother is the worst and she likes to call me by my old previous 'male' name in public which confuses other people who asssume I am female. I have had enough of it all and I know it happens with families and friends who refuse to except a family member in transition.
I have also lost a lot of friends as well. They slowly fade away, never call you and you never see them again......I have one male friend who still keeps in touch....and also old female friends dissapear as well..
I think if you transition you are putting yourself in a position of isolating yourself from anything related with your past..
Hi Berliegh
Yes you do. in my case the people in the town I lived in only knew me for a couple of years as my old self. The last 7 years I was there I was Cindy and after a short period of time all addressed me by the right name. I think after three years they didn't even remember me as the other, which was good. Now it might be that different communities will react differently because I traveled over half of US and Canada and each community I went though had a distinct different personality, as though each Sate and Province was like a different little country of their own.
As for relatives, they all turned their backs on me except for one niece, bless her soul, good kid, proud of her to, she has an executive position in Toronto. My youngest daughter whom I am proud of as well, she is a child psychologist. Anyway this all made it easy for me to move to BC, We moved here because BC health Insurance covers the surgery and Wing Walker is going up for surgery sometimes in June I think it was.
I think I am also coming to like Vancouver. I am not getting any younger and I want to enjoy what's left of my life, to the fullest of my ability. I have my bipolar disorder well under control with the minimum of meds. I am happy, I sometime feel that with my good sense of humor I feel like I could glow in the dark. I know it makes Wing Walkers day, when I'm in a good mood I feel like a kid again that Wing Walker calls that the ID. 62 year old kid huh!
Cindy
Quote from: Nichole W. on November 11, 2007, 12:20:58 AM
Two cents and then I am gone. Berleigh, it is NOT you. It is the way people gender other people. It is done in something less than 5 seconds and it lasts a lifetime.
Your old friends probably are able to see changes, quite well. Their psychological make-ups, all of our human make-ups, decide gender quickly and then use that gender almost exclusively afterwards. Your old friends are unable to break out of the gendering they have done for years and years. Few people are able to break that.
OTH, if you were to be among new friends for awhile who have gendered you female and then told one of them say after a year that you had once been designated male, that person would 99% likely always refer to you with female pronouns, etc. They also would not be able to break the patterning.
It's just the way the mind/brain works, somewhere deep in the hypothalamus the pattern is not subject to change. Once it's formed it remains firm.
The advice about dropping old friends who cannot find a new way of referring to you is probably the best you can get. Or you can maintain the old relationships and have this continue to drive you mad.
Very good points Nichole and I understand where you are coming from. Many old friends have ditched me anyway and you re right. Make new friends and later tell the new friends you are TS and they will still call you by the name thery first saw you as and react towards you still as female. This actually happened to me......A year or so ago I had some hair extensions done and told the young girl who did them that I was TS. She thought I was joking and said 'no way' and never believed me...
Kim,
What a great response! See, sweetie, you need only remind yourself of your own experiences and you already have the knowledge there with you!!
Now, enough of that "I don't look like..." stuff. You are a very attractive woman and needn't ever apologize for that or doubt it. Although i also understand all too well that what we see in the mirror we see very differently than folks who have not lived their lives inside our bodies see us.
Every day can be an adventure. *smile*
Hi Nichole W.
I think we probably all do that to an extent. Like for example a thermionic valve is now an electron tube but after calling this gizmo a thermionic valve for a number of years because that is the name we get use to and feel comfortable with it and out of habit we continue to call this little piece of marvel of electronics a thermionic valve.
Cindy
Hi,
"my mom calls me him in public". Berliegh, I hear and can feel your pain. My dad will slip up in public, eventho I have warned him many times. He said..well people know. Yes they do, because you just told them :(. Many people do know about me and many don't. I told him that I will now tell people that you have alzhimers as a way of covering up the blunder. He didn't like that !.
My belief is that it is better to have no friends that a dozen that keep insulting me, and mentally drag me down. It's like picking through a basket of apples keep the good ones, and toss out the bad.
Cindy...I also seen TED...thermonic emission device as a new name. Ahh the warm friendly glow of a tube/valve. Makes ya feel good all over :).
Jennifer
And as allways..the sPeLing errors are the computers fault......
Hi Jennifer
Thank you at least it got the meaning out there. But I am afraid it is my mate Wing Walker that has the radio tubes for brains. ;D Me I am just the whatsisit girl. I ask lots of questions and collect curios that I call whatsisits.
Cindy
Vacuum Tube Memory
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi11.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fa191%2Fcynthiag932%2Ftubes.jpg&hash=67e83e20417522ed45575ee8c79f7ae426d252c4)
Quote from: Jennifer01 on November 11, 2007, 07:26:07 PM
My belief is that it is better to have no friends that a dozen that keep insulting me, and mentally drag me down. It's like picking through a basket of apples keep the good ones, and toss out the bad.
True, although I think we have to cut friends and family and coworkers a break sometimes too. Accidental slips do happen, and are often just the product of years of mental inertia more than attempts to be insulting. It takes time to create new habits. Besides, I don't think the gender-meaning behind pronouns is nearly as apparent and obvious to other people as it is to us. Much of the time, when someone "slips" and calls us HE, it's just a word to them... not gendered... it's just a word they're used to applying to us from years of habit.
On the other hand, there ARE people who intentionally make a point of not accepting us. THOSE people are a problem. As are friends who just don't CARE that they're hurting us, and make zero effort to change or understand how it makes us feel.
Still though, even when people are unaccepting, it doesn't necessarily mean they should be dumped. People can come around in time. As my therapist says,
"persistence is the best form of insistence." Heck, it's taken almost a year, but my mother FINALLY started calling me Kate a few weeks ago. I didn't demand it exactly, I just consistently mentioned it's who I am now.
I'm sure my calling her
"Fred" whenever she called me by my male name had nothing to do with it either...
~Kate~
Jeee just simply move to another province, State , or country even.
Yep every time something went wrong I use to move to another state or province, I never done anything in small steps, like getting the surgery while I was on the road, like I want a hamburger to go with the fries please? But I do think I have made the right decision to move here to Vancouver. I was quite fine in Midland but here I know nobody and nobody knows me and they call me by the right pronouns. If something goes wrong I will just simply move somewhere else, like maybe the Ozarks. Lots of swamps to bury bodies in. But I think the folks here in Vancouver are quite nice.
Cindy
Berleigh, in my experience *B*O*O*B*S* are the single most important factor in being read as female. My life can be divided into two phases: 1) Pre-boobs--I got called "sir." 2) With boobs--I get called "ma'am." If I were in your situation, I would make boobs my "top" ;) priority.
Face-wise, most of us wish we could be as lucky as you. You look like Joni Mitchell.
Interesting thought, Hypatia. I was listening to her album (Joni's, not Beleigh's) Both Sides Now the other night and contemplating the album cover and it struck me that the drawing, and the pic is was made from kinda put me in mind of someone who might well be considered TS by some people just passing her on the street. http://jonimitchell.com/musician/lyrics.cfm
Then again, I find it harder and harder to tell the differences between TS and GG after women reach thirty-five or so anyway, provided someone is either lucky genetically or has had a good FFS. *shrug* But, that's just me.
Quote from: Hypatia on November 12, 2007, 04:23:46 PM
Berleigh, in my experience *B*O*O*B*S* are the single most important factor in being read as female. My life can be divided into two phases: 1) Pre-boobs--I got called "sir." 2) With boobs--I get called "ma'am." If I were in your situation, I would make boobs my "top" ;) priority.
Face-wise, most of us wish we could be as lucky as you. You look like Joni Mitchell.
That's the second person who's said I looked liked Joni Mitchell.....I can't see it myself. I haven't got a lot of boobs but thankfully I don't seem to get read.
Posted on: November 12, 2007, 06:49:25 PM
Quote from: Nichole W. on November 12, 2007, 05:27:38 PM
Interesting thought, Hypatia. I was listening to her album (Joni's, not Beleigh's) Both Sides Now the other night and contemplating the album cover and it struck me that the drawing, and the pic is was made from kinda put me in mind of someone who might well be considered TS by some people just passing her on the street. http://jonimitchell.com/musician/lyrics.cfm
Then again, I find it harder and harder to tell the differences between TS and GG after women reach thirty-five or so anyway, provided someone is either lucky genetically or has had a good FFS. *shrug* But, that's just me.
I have made an album and write songs too.......I think Joni's brow looks female which is a good tell tale sign....I also have her album 'Both sides now' which is a great album..
By the way if that's your pic Nicole you look stunning and very GG..
Hi,
Cindy, that picture is heart warming :).
Kate, I agree that we must give people time to get used to the new person. I have lived as jennifer for 13 yrs and last year I ran out of understanding. When you go to work, store etc as she and hear him from close people it's like a stake in the heart. The pain was too much to endure any longer, and I had to draw the line with them.
Years ago when I would get the him stuff I once said loudly to to the guy...Do you think i'm so ugly that I should have one of those sex change operations to be a guy !. Other customers in line were staring at him....
I just thought of one to pull on the friend that won't call you she. In public when they call you him, look right at him and say now you went and told them. I thought we were keeping our gay relationship under cover by me posing as a woman !.
Hoo ya, I wish I would have thought of this years ago to pull on a friend >:D
Jennifer
Quote from: Hypatia on November 12, 2007, 04:23:46 PM
Berleigh, in my experience *B*O*O*B*S* are the single most important factor in being read as female. My life can be divided into two phases: 1) Pre-boobs--I got called "sir." 2) With boobs--I get called "ma'am." If I were in your situation, I would make boobs my "top" ;) priority.
Face-wise, most of us wish we could be as lucky as you. You look like Joni Mitchell.
LOL I didn't get sir before boobs but I sure get a lot more guys hitting on me.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.kirstio.com%2Fimages%2Fjonimitchell.jpg&hash=4f281717b883121dc5e31878def9092f7e9d8aae)
I never noticed it before but Joni Mitchell doesn't have the most feminine facial features.
But she is good looking for her age, Joni Mitchell would be around about in her sixties now?
As for boobs I'm into a 36 B now and I'm a tiny person 5' 3" tall so they are within proportion. I been on HRT for seven years going on 8 and I still get little spurts of growth there.
This pic was taken last winter. I guess the estrogen works pretty well with old bats like me to.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi11.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fa191%2Fcynthiag932%2FF1000021-2.jpg&hash=a5101a886c40f2ee4bfce91254cdb1c8ab9bf52d)
Cindy
A more recent pic?
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.google.com%2Furl%3Fq%3Dhttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.cbc.ca%2Fgfx%2Fimages%2Farts%2Fphotos%2F2007%2F01%2F29%2Fmitchell-joni-cp-2353038.jpg%26amp%3Busg%3DAFQjCNETfmJMpdOU4Y__RKOzctdCE1Wbvg&hash=151c0baf5c4a0d0c26971ead9fdbcaccd82838bc)
The other thingy that everyone should be aware of is that youth can be particularly helpful in defining looks.
Aging well is helpful. The pic that Nicole posted of Joni Mitchell does, indeed, show her current age. Since she started writing and singing songs in the early 60s without googling her to see my guess is that she is in her mid-sixties right now.
Female facial configurations change, lose soft tissue as do we all, as women age. The defining bone-structure becomes more and more visible and she, and all the rest of us, are going to merge toward looking more like males as we age. And vice versa, males lose soft tissue as well and become less definable as males and more like babies, or women. It is a natural occurrence and not a lot anyone can do about it.
Aging women and aging men do not look the way most of us in the west define as young and sexy after they reach their sixties.
Kim, drop me a pm, please. The avatar is Sharon Stone, not me.
Nichole
Quote from: melissa90299 on November 12, 2007, 08:23:28 PM
Quote from: Hypatia on November 12, 2007, 04:23:46 PM
Berleigh, in my experience *B*O*O*B*S* are the single most important factor in being read as female. My life can be divided into two phases: 1) Pre-boobs--I got called "sir." 2) With boobs--I get called "ma'am." If I were in your situation, I would make boobs my "top" ;) priority.
Face-wise, most of us wish we could be as lucky as you. You look like Joni Mitchell.
LOL I didn't get sir before boobs but I sure get a lot more guys hitting on me.
I never noticed it before but Joni Mitchell doesn't have the most feminine facial features.
So the point everyone is making is that I look masculine like Joni Mitchell.......
Quote from: melissa90299 on November 12, 2007, 11:26:46 PM
A more recent pic?
OMG, she was so young in the 1970s. What happened? Do all of us sixties swingers look like that now? OMG I think I'll give up right now!
(Off topic - was Joni at the Isle of Wight Pop Festival in 1970 anyone?)
Louise
Not me, hon. I grew up on Sixties and Seventies music, and to me Joni has always been this great female icon. I could never see her as anything but feminine.
Quote from: Berliegh on November 13, 2007, 07:05:06 AM
Quote from: melissa90299 on November 12, 2007, 08:23:28 PM
Quote from: Hypatia on November 12, 2007, 04:23:46 PM
Berleigh, in my experience *B*O*O*B*S* are the single most important factor in being read as female. My life can be divided into two phases: 1) Pre-boobs--I got called "sir." 2) With boobs--I get called "ma'am." If I were in your situation, I would make boobs my "top" ;) priority.
Face-wise, most of us wish we could be as lucky as you. You look like Joni Mitchell.
LOL I didn't get sir before boobs but I sure get a lot more guys hitting on me.
I never noticed it before but Joni Mitchell doesn't have the most feminine facial features.
So the point everyone is making is that I look masculine like Joni Mitchell.......
Er, no, I'm sure that's not right at all. It's rubbish to say Joni Mitchell didn't look feminine and the same goes for you Kimberleigh.
BTW what instruments did you play in the band, or were you vocals (if that's not being too nosey)?
Louise
Louise, I play guitar, Bass, Keyboards and sing but not all at the same time...
I've made various recordings over the years for different projects and I can PM with some link details if you are interested...
I cannot with any stretch of the imagination see any resemblace with me to Joni Mitchell. She must also be a good 20 years plus older than me as well.
Hi Berliegh
I think you looked beautiful in that picture you had up yesterday. As for the 60's swingers, hey man,! I look twenty years younger then my actual age.
Cindy
Posted on: November 13, 2007, 07:16:47 PM
I don't have any grey hair and my hair is mid back long and I have it crimped every 3 weeks.
Cindy