Ugh guys. I've been presenting female today (something I only started doing recently, maybe every other day on average), and it just sucked. I don't expect to pass even a cursory glance, but I'm clearly not a cisgender man, clearly trying to be female, and so I rely on people's kindness and basic respect. Which, unfortunately, was thin on the ground today. As I walked into the ladies' in a pub, this woman stopped short in front of me, confrontationally. I knew she was about to say something. I couldn't meet her eye, I just scurried past her. Why do people have to be cruel? Why can't people separate our identity from the crap we were born with? I wish I'd stood up to her.
Anyway, since then (and all day, to be honest) I've been feeling like some lumbering, graceless giant, an incurably masculine oaf with clown feet, lumberjack hands and a brow-ridge the size of the Eiffel Tower. I'm six foot bloody two. My hands are enormous. My feet are size 12. And I've done my research, no more than 1 in 200 women is equal to 6 foot, so 6'2 is just not something that happens. Just telling myself I'm the same height as Maria Sharapova doesn't help when I realise that she's one woman on the face of the Earth.
Can anyone help? Can big women be graceful? (I mean, of course they can, I'm not a misogynist, but obviously the real question is, can I...) Is anyone here a giant lady too? Can you learn to be less self-conscious when you're in the ladies' and you're half a foot taller than everyone else?
Sorry for the rant. I needed it =/ Just add your own rants about cis women oppressing us if you like.
L x
I'm 5'10"...and was so conscious of my height early on. I don't recall how I got over it, just realized one day there are lots of tall people...whether men or women. Each passing day/week/month I just became less self conscious until the point where I didn't even notice.
As for shoes, I stopped wearing heels. They added to my woes, so year two I decided I'd wear hiking shoes, flip flops, and sneakers. Last time I wore heels was almost 5 years ago.
My hands? Never thought of them. Never worried about them. Are they big? I don't know...really don't care.
I guess what I'm saying, early transition, you'll fret over everything, be critical of every aspect. I believe as time goes on, you care less and less.
Careful you must be when judging aspects of yourself that cannot be changed. That gets very depressing very fast. I suppose one has to find a way to move gracefully without looking like they're trying too hard which is going to take some trial and error. I'm 5 ft 10 with a lump on my head, and I've never been to the ladies toilet yet but what you describe being taller than everyone there - lets all be thankful there are no urinals there! And that it's not a social expectation to use one! This way one can go in and out, all business. No staying around to chat or look in the mirror or anything like that. It may get awkward when all the stalls are full, but still I would say don't be afraid to come back later and minimize your time out in the open when in the ladies toilet if you're feeling really self conscious.
Two words for you, my dear: Caitlyn Jenner. She is six foot two, big shoulders, big hands and feet, and does she look the least bit nonpassable or masculine? Just google some photos and videos of her.
I am sometimes passable and sometimes not, depending on how my beard shadow is doing against the onslaught of continuing laser treatments, whether I can get my voice working right, and whether people notice my hands and feet -- which were made for a man six feet tall, but I am only five foot seven, and they looked huge on me even before transition.
I do have one very unfair advantage -- I have been growing bonsai trees for more than twenty years, which gives me a lot of experience in manipulating perception and creating visual illusion using living material. And that is precisely what I do in order to make myself passable, or if not passable, feminine looking enough to be treated well.
I use big hair to make my head look smaller and my shoulders look narrower. I use contouring makeup on my face to hide the brow ridges and fine tune the apparent shape of my nose. I wear shoes with heels because they decrease the apparent size of my feet -- and they are never tight because if they are a little loose they make my feet look smaller. I wear bright nail polish to distract from the size of my hands. Every small piece of your presentation matters.
I have also learned that if I put on a boob show I am far more likely to get gendered female. So if getting gendered right is critical, out come the push up bras and the V necks.
Finally your manner -- if you carry yourself in a feminine enough manner, speak and act feminine, you will be seen as feminine.
Here is the kicker -- my cisgender younger sister is 5 feet 11 and 3/4 inches tall -- just under six feet. Her hands are almost as large as mine, and her arms are larger. Yet she is never gendered male no matter how shlumpy she dresses. This tells me that size matters very little. There are lots of little cues people read to gender you. Work on those cues. I've been going out publicly for more than a year, and I still get clocked sometimes. It takes a lot of work, and you have to sweat the details. So be analytical, have fun with it, and keep us posted.
I too am a gentle giant. 6'2"+ and 220 lbs (100kg). I went to my appt today to get my estrogen pellets. My vehicle ran out of gas. Had to walk to the gas station, buy a gas can, and get gas. Generally bad start to the day. When I returned to get more gas, these two women started laughing hysterically behind the counter. Yes, I'm not remotely close to passing, but that was rude. But I kept my composure, paid for my purchase, and walked out with my head held high. I'm just being myself. If they can't accept it, that's their problem. More than likely I'll never see them again. They're insignificant in the grand scheme of things.
As far as being more graceful, try finding a cisgender female friend that would be willing to help. As teenagers, girls do this all the time! Sleepovers! That's how they learn so many things like fashion, makeup, hair, etc.
While you are out and about, ignore people around you. If you walk around fearful and paranoid of their reactions you will look more suspicious, and will in turn draw more attention. Most people are too caught up in their own life to pay attention to you.
You may get laughed at or pointed at. It happens. You can't let them get to you. After my appointment I had lunch with a female friend and the lady taking my order was super sweet. She used "sir" once, but quickly apologized and corrected herself. She continued to be super nice and polite. I wanted to get mad after the gas station incident, but I let it go when she apologized.
If confronted like you were, be polite and just say excuse me. "Kill them with kindness" the saying goes. I know its not always easy, but if you don't let them get under your skin they'll never get the best of you (that's what bullies aim to do).
Best of luck and remember, you're just the Queen of the Amazons!
Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk
I'm 1.83m, which is about 6 feet, and overall big. I pass most of the time. It's mostly about attitude and presence.
Can you be graceful? Yes, but you have to find your own grace. Don't expect to be as a tiny 1.50m girl, that's probably not going to happen. Still you can be graceful as a big girl.
I am 6-2, 215 pounds. Size 12 women's shoe. My breasts are a B cup and I can not hide them easily any more. It is hard. I have come to the conclusion that I must proceed in my transition. The only other choice I have is to stop the hormones and detransition. But that would probably result in suicide. I current present male with a little bit of femme showing. I get gel mani and pedis every 2 weeks. Wear jewelry and the only thing male I wear is to shirts and shorts. All I am saying is you are not alone. Only thing I worry about is my height. But it's not my main worry. My main worry is my face. Until I'm done with hair removal it sucks. Just remember your not alone. Pm me if you need to rant more. We are all here for you.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Quote from: CarlyMcx on August 31, 2017, 07:40:32 PMThere are lots of little cues people read to gender you. Work on those cues.
+1 for above statement.
Size is not a problem if the fast-react gender cues are correct. Order is debatable --- 1) have breasts, 2) lack of beard stubble or dark facial hair, 3) effeminate head hair/wig or natural, 4) lack of arm, leg hair, 5) effeminate clothes and accessories -- wear a purse and jewelry, 6) effeminate posture, body language. 7) Voice ... this is optional, since when presenting you don't always have to speak.
Plenty of big, sexy cis-girls out there. No reason you can't blend in with them. :)
I am 6'2" and weigh 195 pounds. I have size 13 feet and I no longer have an issue being misgendered. I am only 2 1/2 years into transition and was pretty rough when I started out. The one thing that helped me initially was the fact that I didn't care what others thought. I am a woman and I acted like it. I wasn't afraid to to into those spaces I was legally allowed to go into. It helped me that I was able to get my legal documentation changed only 2 months after starting HRT. I was full time a little over 3 months into my transition and legally female so I just went where I wanted. Interesting thing was no one ever tried to stop me. I got some looks of confusion from people and misgendered every now and then but it was clear to everyone that I was female. I also learned early on to not worry about my height. I have 2 daughters who are almost as tall as I am and a couple of nieces as well. Height is one of those things you can't really change about yourself. So own it and embrace it. I wear heels almost every day. With my standard 3 inch heels I am almost 6'5". Frequently I am the tallest person in the room. I don't care and in fact I love it. It is possible to blend in as a tall female, I do it every day.
Quote from: I Am Jess on August 31, 2017, 08:41:51 PM
I am 6'2" and weigh 195 pounds. I have size 13 feet and I no longer have an issue being misgendered. I am only 2 1/2 years into transition and was pretty rough when I started out. The one thing that helped me initially was the fact that I didn't care what others thought. I am a woman and I acted like it. I wasn't afraid to to into those spaces I was legally allowed to go into. It helped me that I was able to get my legal documentation changed only 2 months after starting HRT. I was full time a little over 3 months into my transition and legally female so I just went where I wanted. Interesting thing was no one ever tried to stop me. I got some looks of confusion from people and misgendered every now and then but it was clear to everyone that I was female. I also learned early on to not worry about my height. I have 2 daughters who are almost as tall as I am and a couple of nieces as well. Height is one of those things you can't really change about yourself. So own it and embrace it. I wear heels almost every day. With my standard 3 inch heels I am almost 6'5". Frequently I am the tallest person in the room. I don't care and in fact I love it. It is possible to blend in as a tall female, I do it every day.
This is why I come to this site. Advice like this. I hope one day I can be like this. One day is getting close. There are 2 things I can't hide anymore.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Me too
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro
I'm 6'5¼", 260 lbs, a size 14/16, women's size 13W shoe. So no your not too big. It takes time and proper mannerisms, voice, and confidence goes a long way. It's been over 3 years since I've been misgendered by anyone who didn't know me before I transition.
The tallest cis woman I've ever met in person is Lindsaey Hayward (http://people.com/bodies/my-giant-life-69-woman-gets-head-shots-to-restart-her-acting-career/) who is 6'9" and has been on TLC's my giant life. I talked with her for several minutes and she also had broader shoulders than me too.
Just to prove a point, my cisfemale baby sister is 6' tall. She walks like she owns the world.
Walk like you are the hottest woman in the world, and ignore the haters. Chances are, you'll never see them again anyways.
Ryuichi
Sent from my SM-G930P using Tapatalk
I am 6'2", size 13 woman's shoe. My maximum weight was 203 pounds but I am currently about 166 pounds. While other issues may have betrayed me, my body hasn't. I have walked through large stores, and other gatherings of people and never drew a stare. I don't even think I have had a child ask if I was a boy or a girl and the are one of the most difficult audiences to please.
Quote from: CarlyMcx on August 31, 2017, 07:40:32 PM
She is six foot two, big shoulders, big hands and feet, and does she look the least bit nonpassable or masculine?
I suppose it depends on what you mean by passable, but yes she does. So do many of us.
There are two paths you can walk as a trans woman. One holds that you need to do everything possible to be indistinguishable from cis females. Simply being recognized as transgender is seen as defeat. The second holds that being transgender is ok. People on this path still feel stung by misgendering, but aren't as prone to take it as personal failure.
In my experience most misgendering is accidental. It needs to be corrected, but not mourned. Some is intentional and needs to be called out as bigotry. Overall though, people are getting used to us, and it is getting better. The trajectory of public opinion is strongly in our favor, even if this is not reflected yet in the halls of power.
If you are on the second path, it suddenly becomes less important that you are 6'2". It doesn't mean that you are no longer jealous of others--many women are. I often wish that I weren't 6'3". Then again, if I don't take it as a matter of personal failure, I can still recognize that being tall has it's advantages.
Quote from: Leila94 on August 31, 2017, 07:01:43 PM
Ugh guys. I've been presenting female today (something I only started doing recently, maybe every other day on average), and it just sucked. I don't expect to pass even a cursory glance, but I'm clearly not a cisgender man, clearly trying to be female, and so I rely on people's kindness and basic respect. Which, unfortunately, was thin on the ground today. As I walked into the ladies' in a pub, this woman stopped short in front of me, confrontationally. I knew she was about to say something. I couldn't meet her eye, I just scurried past her. Why do people have to be cruel? Why can't people separate our identity from the crap we were born with? I wish I'd stood up to her.
Anyway, since then (and all day, to be honest) I've been feeling like some lumbering, graceless giant, an incurably masculine oaf with clown feet, lumberjack hands and a brow-ridge the size of the Eiffel Tower. I'm six foot bloody two. My hands are enormous. My feet are size 12. And I've done my research, no more than 1 in 200 women is equal to 6 foot, so 6'2 is just not something that happens. Just telling myself I'm the same height as Maria Sharapova doesn't help when I realise that she's one woman on the face of the Earth.
Can anyone help? Can big women be graceful? (I mean, of course they can, I'm not a misogynist, but obviously the real question is, can I...) Is anyone here a giant lady too? Can you learn to be less self-conscious when you're in the ladies' and you're half a foot taller than everyone else?
Sorry for the rant. I needed it =/ Just add your own rants about cis women oppressing us if you like.
L x
Leila
I similarly suffer with my stature as I am 6'5'' tall, likewise with huge feet and hands and until recently weighed 240lbs. I set myself a target of loosing some weight and dropped approx 40lbs which was transformative in itself.
This, however, was not the biggest change for me. It was simply accepting that I am just a tall woman (like many others) and all most all of my outings has been great. Misgendered sometimes - Yes, second glances in the street - yes (but I also do it too when I see a tall woman)
Too much of my personal anxiety about going out has been in my own head and the more I have come out as Nikki the easier it becomes. Makeup and how you conduct yourself will achieve far more than you can imagine. Last summer I managed a meal with a female friend in one of the best/busiest restaurants in Manchester wearing a sleeveless Maxi dress. Never had I imagined I could pull that off.
It does get easier I promise. I am now moving towards an inevitable transition and don't see my height/size as a big issue. The only thing that slows my progress is my social/personal love & responsibility to my wonderful wife (non supportive) and 2 children.
Best wishes
Nikki
Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
I am above 6" and it bugs the heck out of me. Not because of how others will see me nearly as much as because my sense body is closer to 5'9"-10" and I feel stretched out all the time. My cister is 6 feet tall, looks like a supermodel, and I've seen her rock Vegas in three inch heels because she felt like it, hand in hand with a dude that was like six inches shorter. I'm reasonably sure the stares she got were because she looked hot- I developed a bit of a hyper sense for it during high school because the only somewhat civil thing the vast majority of males would deem to talk to me about was how much they wanted to boink my sister.
A month or so before I began HRT I was in Fred Meyers to pick up some meds. My partner and I bought some groceries while we were at it, and when we saw that one of the cashiers was a transwoman we hit that line to check out. She was definitely over six feet, probably taller than me, and standing on the little platform she looked even taller. Her breasts were clearly there and so was some dark stubble under her chin. She didn't exactly pass, but anyone who would have misgendered her would have had to be blind- well actually no blind person coild have clocked her.
She was flat-out gorgeous.
And her smile... like, wow. I kinda had an instant girl crush. Voice on point. Her manner almost perfectly feminine and no overacting. She had an excellent sense of style, and she just had this aura about her that these rare humans sometimes have that make them easy to compliment. In short, she made a profoundly positive impression without even trying. Sure, there were the same cues I've got, but on her they were just minor details. It's like you could tell, but her entire aura was so clearly and unquestionably female that those things just sorta slid right out of your vision and it couldn't be bothered to notice. It was absolutely awe-inspiring.
Just walking through that line made me feel a million times better for weeks.
So height doesn't mean a thing. What matters is attitude, effort, manner, presentation, self confidence, knowing how to dress yourself, and most of all transitioning because it makes you feel alive and whole. Everything that actually matters is learnable, and even if you've got no eye for fashion it's easy enough to ask someone who does. Just be willing to listen and take criticism, and it'll save you far more dignity in the future.
The key is to dress like you, rather than an idea of how a woman is supposed to look. Be comfortable for your own reasons and that's the vibe you'll give off.
All these comments are very encouraging to me. Another 6'2ish womanat the beginning of her journey
Quote from: Ryuichi13 on August 31, 2017, 10:49:10 PM
Walk like you are the hottest woman in the world, and ignore the haters. Chances are, you'll never see them again anyways.
This. At >6ft you cannot expect to blend in, so you should look hot, sexy and be 'I own the world' bad ass. People start laughing at you or be rude when the see your insecurity, when your body language tells them it's ok to join _you_ at embarrassing you. Look into the eye, smile gently and friendly, [stop looking into the eye - it's not a tug of war,] tell yourself you have same rights to live your life and be respected as anyone else.
If Lavern Cox can pull it off as a big woman, so can you. www.lavernecox.com Always remember no matter what, you're "beautiful in your own way", which is a line from Lady Gaga's 'Born this Way". Sending good vibes your way!
Ladies...I cannot tell you how much your response means to me. I've spent the last twenty hours feeling more or less like dying, because there was no hope I'd ever make it as a woman in the world. This is corny, but with your wealth of examples, stories and encouragement, you've given me back my faith in myself, and this time I won't let the bastards take it away quite so easily. I may inbox a few of you if you don't mind?
L x
I don't mind. If you want.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Yea it is ok to be tall as a trans woman, but also being overweight is just really bad. Fortunately you can control your weight so that is something you can fix.
Someone mentioned Laverne Cox earlier in this thread. Yes she is tall at 5' 11" but she also has a slim 29" waist. If you want to rock a tall height, you also have to get your weight under control.
I feel your pain. 5'11 and broad shoulders. Would need to be 2 stone lighter to help pass..which i just can't manage.
Makes you wanna cry..and eat!
Hope you don't mind me interjecting here since I'm the opposite side of the spectrum in oh so many ways. Even for someone born female, I'm short at 5'2". If I remember correctly the average american female is... 5'5" I want to say? Now as someone who wants to transition -- I'd make a freakishly short guy. I often think about how two of my best friends (male) in high school were barely a couple inches taller than me. But even that doesn't help. So what does help? This is going to sound REALLY nerdy/geeky but hey.
I watch/read a lot of anime and manga. If you know anything about these genres, you know there's strong character types that run prominent through them. If you want a good idea of how it works, watch the first episode of Ouran Host High hahaha. I feel like that's probably a good visual of a lot if not all the character types. (Can't remember who it is but one of the people here actually uses one of the characters as a profile picture...) So I picture myself as the loli character (In fact the very character the person I mention above has as their profile pic LOL). Weirdly, this actually helps.
I don't know if there's something like that you can find to help boost your confidence and say, 'Hey, I'm beautiful, sexy, and I love myself this way,' but its worth a shot.
Also to the poster who referenced 'Born This Way'... I freakin love you lol. That's my anthem lately (and my two year old's. She's obsessed with Lady Gaga. Not sure whether or not I should be proud of that LOL)
Here is a little glimpse of how I have transformed myself over the last 2 1/2 years. Have faith and have confidence in who you are and you can make it happen.
(https://farm5.staticflickr.com/4427/36965233965_30424b4df6_h.jpg) (https://flic.kr/p/Yjuud6)
Quote from: Sydney_NYC on August 31, 2017, 10:23:34 PM
I'm 6'5¼", 260 lbs, a size 14/16, women's size 13W shoe. So no your not too big. It takes time and proper mannerisms, voice, and confidence goes a long way. It's been over 3 years since I've been misgendered by anyone who didn't know me before I transition.
The tallest cis woman I've ever met in person is Lindsaey Hayward (http://people.com/bodies/my-giant-life-69-woman-gets-head-shots-to-restart-her-acting-career/) who is 6'9" and has been on TLC's my giant life. I talked with her for several minutes and she also had broader shoulders than me too.
I'm surprised you're 14/16 at 260.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro
Face it. Height can't be changed much. At 5'7&1/3"/171cm, I'm a lot shorter than most of the lovely ladies in my local trans adult group. But I also recognise that there are men that are even shorter and women that are taller than I.
Do I care? Not really.
I carry myself like a man, many of my (learned) mannerisms are male, I dress male and even though my dreadlocks are shoulder-length, I can say that for all intents and purposes, I act and (probably) look like a man.
I think that its not about "how tall/short you are," "how thin/chubby you are," nor even about "the lack of/despite having facial hair."
Its all about loving who you are and how confident you are in your own skin.
So go forth as yourself, act like you own the world and love yourself, because each and every one of us are beautiful/handsome women and men, well-deserving of love and respect.
With love and respect for every single one of you,
Ryuichi
Sent from my SM-G930P using Tapatalk
The best we can often do is the best we can do (with whatever genetic hand of cards we were dealt). That does not take away from the feelings about it all though. Those are very valid.
I'm 5'9", it definitely feels tall but my shoe size is size 10 ladies for that i am thankful. I have at least 3 girlfriends that are taller than me and in general our species females seem to be getting both taller and evolving with larger feet. What i try and focus on is what my assets are and then secondly, things that are changeable. That has helped me.
Quote from: Leila94 on September 01, 2017, 10:32:37 AM
I may inbox a few of you if you don't mind?
I don't consider my account to be personal. It exist for the benefit of Susan and the members of the site so all members may contact me any time they wish without asking permission. I sometimes get snowed under but I will respond when I can.
I'm 6 feet and have extremely broad shoulders. I have small hands and a very curvy waist and rear. Average feet for a male but very large for a female. No hormones I was always more curvy than many females. It's my strongest asset. The fat ends up in the gut male wise. I look like a pear then. The shoulders are a bigger issue for me than my height. I am a v-shape. It depends on many things. Look at the combination.
Try to bear in mind that the first daughter, Ivanka Trump is 6' tall. And she wears heels ALL THE TIME.
I don't think anybody would argue that she is quite beautiful.
Quote from: Gertrude on September 01, 2017, 03:28:05 PM
I'm surprised you're 14/16 at 260.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro
A lot of people are surprised. Most of my weight is in my thighs and butt plus I'm pretty tall at 6'5¼". My goal is to get down to at least a size 12, or at least 220. My legs are pretty solid, but do have a nice feminine shape. I've always had a feminine shape from the waist down since puberty and was teased about in the boys locker room in high school.
Quote from: Sydney_NYC on September 02, 2017, 12:40:28 AM
A lot of people are surprised. Most of my weight is in my thighs and butt plus I'm pretty tall at 6'5¼". My goal is to get down to at least a size 12, or at least 220. My legs are pretty solid, but do have a nice feminine shape. I've always had a feminine shape from the waist down since puberty and was teased about in the boys locker room in high school.
I am 6'5, but would be a larger size at the same weight. I don't have much of a butt and I am longer in the torso than average with a 34" leg inseam. At 20, at 240 I had a 35" waist and 52" chest, with an lbm around 210, so we're probably built differently. Thing is, I am deceiving looking. I weigh well over 300 and most people think I don't weigh more than 280. I want to get to 220 as I don't have the muscle I used to and it would be a good weight. I'd probably be a 16-18 at that weight, although tops and dresses may have to be bigger.
Quote from: Janes Groove on September 01, 2017, 06:15:07 PM
Try to bear in mind that the first daughter, Ivanka Trump is 6' tall. And she wears heels ALL THE TIME.
I don't think anybody would argue that she is quite beautiful.
I've read she's not nearly as tall as 6', closer to 5'9-5'10.....and FWIW, she's becoming less attractive almost on a weekly basis ;)
I'm 6ft and it sucks, it's the main reason why I don't proceed with anything like therapy because I think what's the point, literally all my other body proportions are fine, I have pretty small feet for a guy, people have even pointed it out to be before when I had to size up for an old job which required steel toecap boots.
I've browsed this site before - https://www.celebheights.com/s/180Female.html
You put in your height and it tells you which celebrities are the same height as you.
I'd probably be fine with 5'10 but you can't change your height... people tell me I am lucky to be 6ft because it's the height that most men want to be, still cringe every time friends call me "big guy" :embarrassed:
Quote from: J2J on September 02, 2017, 07:41:05 PM
I'm 6ft and it sucks, it's the main reason why I don't proceed with anything like therapy because I think what's the point....
I felt this way for many many years, and it was the main reason I delayed in proceeding with transition. However, it got to point that it stopped mattering as much because the alternative of not doing anything and living a miserable, depressing and unfulfilled life was much worse than being a tall woman.
If it's in you, you will likely come to the same decision.
Quote from: Gertrude on September 02, 2017, 06:01:18 PM
I am 6'5, but would be a larger size at the same weight. I don't have much of a butt and I am longer in the torso than average with a 34" leg inseam. At 20, at 240 I had a 35" waist and 52" chest, with an lbm around 210, so we're probably built differently. Thing is, I am deceiving looking. I weigh well over 300 and most people think I don't weigh more than 280. I want to get to 220 as I don't have the muscle I used to and it would be a good weight. I'd probably be a 16-18 at that weight, although tops and dresses may have to be bigger.
Because of Kleinfelter's I had more of a feminine shape even before HRT. I have a 37" inseam. When I was 230 (pre-transition), I had a 36" Waist, 42" hips, and 38" chest. I was at 255 when I started transitioning and didn't have any upper body muscle to lose. The only muscle I had was in my legs.
Quote from: Sydney_NYC on September 02, 2017, 09:47:09 PM
Because of Kleinfelter's I had more of a feminine shape even before HRT. I have a 37" inseam. When I was 230 (pre-transition), I had a 36" Waist, 42" hips, and 38" chest. I was at 255 when I started transitioning and didn't have any upper body muscle to lose. The only muscle I had was in my legs.
That explains a lot and it goes to show people can be similar heights and sometimes weight and be different.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro
Quote from: Gertrude on September 02, 2017, 06:01:18 PM
I am 6'5, but would be a larger size at the same weight. I don't have much of a butt and I am longer in the torso than average with a 34" leg inseam. At 20, at 240 I had a 35" waist and 52" chest, with an lbm around 210, so we're probably built differently. Thing is, I am deceiving looking. I weigh well over 300 and most people think I don't weigh more than 280. I want to get to 220 as I don't have the muscle I used to and it would be a good weight. I'd probably be a 16-18 at that weight, although tops and dresses may have to be bigger.
I am originally 6' 5" now down to 6'3 and shrinking. My highest weight was 296 lbs. I now hover around 220 lbs. It really was not hard to lose weight. I quit drinking soda and eating bread and instead of eating a bag of Famous Amos Cookies I now settle for one or two cookies. I cut serving sizes. Instead of eating two pork chops I now eat one,Plus a little exercise never hurts.
Quote from: DawnOday on September 03, 2017, 01:36:45 PM
I am originally 6' 5" now down to 6'3 and shrinking. My highest weight was 296 lbs. I now hover around 220 lbs. It really was not hard to lose weight. I quit drinking soda and eating bread and instead of eating a bag of Famous Amos Cookies I now settle for one or two cookies. I cut serving sizes. Instead of eating two pork chops I now eat one,Plus a little exercise never hurts.
Deborah turned on to the ketogenic diet. I've lost 43lbs in 11 weeks. I eat 2373ish calories a day, 176g fat, 30g carbs and 168g protein. At least those are the targets. So far so good. I'm not a treataholic, just used to each too much and too many carbs.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro
I have been reading this thread with interest. I'm not tall, but feel for you. At breakfast today there was a cis female that was probably 6'2" and also a very high forehead. She was maybe 27 too. I wanted to take a picture and post, but it would have looked weird asking. Anyway, was thinking of my girls here. You'd be empowered seeing this girl.
Quote from: J2J on September 02, 2017, 07:41:05 PM
I'm 6ft and it sucks, it's the main reason why I don't proceed with anything like therapy because I think what's the point, literally all my other body proportions are fine, I have pretty small feet for a guy, people have even pointed it out to be before when I had to size up for an old job which required steel toecap boots.
I've browsed this site before - https://www.celebheights.com/s/180Female.html
You put in your height and it tells you which celebrities are the same height as you.
I'd probably be fine with 5'10 but you can't change your height... people tell me I am lucky to be 6ft because it's the height that most men want to be, still cringe every time friends call me "big guy" :embarrassed:
Jenny Fitch 6' 1" not only the best female softball pitcher ever, the girl is just gorgeous. Maria Sharapova is 6'2" another looker with 5 grand slam wins. Jane Lynch is 6' TV star and comedian. http://bleacherreport.com/articles/661081-top-50-hottest-tall-chicks-in-sports.
Quote from: J2J on September 02, 2017, 07:41:05 PM
I'm 6ft and it sucks, it's the main reason why I don't proceed with anything like therapy because I think what's the point, literally all my other body proportions are fine, I have pretty small feet for a guy, people have even pointed it out to be before when I had to size up for an old job which required steel toecap boots.
I've browsed this site before - https://www.celebheights.com/s/180Female.html
You put in your height and it tells you which celebrities are the same height as you.
I'd probably be fine with 5'10 but you can't change your height... people tell me I am lucky to be 6ft because it's the height that most men want to be, still cringe every time friends call me "big guy" :embarrassed:
Like I said in a prior post, my cisgender baby sister (6 years younger than me) is 5 feet 11 and 3/4.inches tall. That's right, she is a quarter inch under six feet. She rarely dresses feminine, never wears makeup, and works on cars for fun. She has never been misgendered. Height has little to do with how you are gendered.
Quote from: CarlyMcx on September 03, 2017, 02:55:53 PM
......Height has little to do with how you are gendered.
Although I agree with this, I also believe that others aspects have to be more "polished" in order to be gendered properly. Think of it as starting the race a little behind the pack....your facial features, hair, body shape, walk and voice all have to be more on point to overcome your height when compared to a transitioning woman that is of average CIS-female stature. The above average height will probably put you under increased scrutiny and the other aspects are much more important.
Quote from: staciM on September 03, 2017, 03:17:59 PM
Although I agree with this, I also believe that others aspects have to be more "polished" in order to be gendered properly. Think of it as starting the race a little behind the pack....your facial features, hair, body shape, walk and voice all have to be more on point to overcome your height when compared to a transitioning woman that is of average CIS-female stature. The above average height will probably put you under increased scrutiny and the other aspects are much more important.
I agree with this. I fully expect a lot of misgendering when I transition/change my pronouns in every day life, because of my short stature. However I see it with my daughter more since at present, I still present as female to everyone in my life. (Despite the short hair and dressing more masculine)
She's pint sized... At the age of 2.5 she still averages out to wearing 9 month tops and 12 month pants. And she has short hair. People seem to think she's a 1 year old little boy. The only way I've gotten her correctly gendered is if I put her in pink and frills. And even then, people get it wrong. Don't ask me why.
Its all about societal perception of gender norms, which really I hate. Why should we be pressured into 'these things are for females' or 'these things are for males'? Frankly, I just wish the world would stop assigning gender norms. Definitely would help us
slightly with the dysphoria.
Its okay to be a tall girl.
Its okay to be a short boy.
Its okay to be somewhere inbetween...
Etc.
Quote from: Rowena_Ellenweorc on September 03, 2017, 06:18:20 PMShe's pint sized... At the age of 2.5 she still averages out to wearing 9 month tops and 12 month pants. And she has short hair. People seem to think she's a 1 year old little boy. The only way I've gotten her correctly gendered is if I put her in pink and frills. And even then, people get it wrong. Don't ask me why.
Whaaaaa. Why would people even gender a 2 year old? I can't believe that children that young even have a gender...?
People gender their children before they are born. Parents often say they want to find out the sex so that they can paint the nursery "the right colors" and buy the "right toys" before their little bundle of joy is born. Not only that, but mother's speak to their unborn babies in higher voices if they think they are girls, and are more likely to describe the kicks of boys as "strong". I don't think we know when gender solidifies for children, but they are being pressed to conform to expectation before they take their first breath.
Well yeah, plenty of people do that excessive gendering before the baby is born, but like...those people are idiots. The intelligent people I know painted their baby's room green, bought them "both" sets of toys, stuff like that. That said, I don't know how to reconcile that with the need to "know" while it's still in the womb. If it doesn't matter, why do they need to know? Maybe I overestimate people.
Quote from: Leila94 on September 04, 2017, 05:43:33 PM
Maybe I overestimate people.
Fastest route to disappointment.
I'm 6ft and a former fatty. Portion control worked great for me. Eating S-L-O-W-L-Y and, of course avoid thing things like 1000 cal a cookie cookies for snacks worked great for me to be 1/2 the person I was. I still cannot walk a bakery and breath too deeply for fear of gaining 5 lbs. As long as I can hold my breath, I can still drool a little looking into the window :o
Quote from: Leila94 on September 04, 2017, 05:43:33 PM
...The intelligent people I know painted their baby's room green, bought them "both" sets of toys, stuff like that.
I did that with my kid.
The only pink she had as a baby was a cute dress I saw and fell in lovd with, and when she outgrew it, I still didn't really dress her in gendered clothes much. It was my (ex)MiL and my Mom that got her baby "girl clothes."
Now she's a girly girl, and happy. I'm happy for her, but I'm still glad that once she got old enough, I let her pick her clothes styles.
Ryuichi
Sent from my SM-G930P using Tapatalk
My best friend (cis woman) is 6,1 feet. There are big women too. It's not about height, it's about presentation. How do you move? Mannerism? Something mysterious is making her female, I've tried to compare and see the differance between us, but I don't know how to be female, because I never was. I have tried when I denied being trans gender. But failed misserably. People gendered me male even when I tried being female.
Quote from: Leila94 on September 04, 2017, 05:43:33 PM
Well yeah, plenty of people do that excessive gendering before the baby is born, but like...those people are idiots. The intelligent people I know painted their baby's room green, bought them "both" sets of toys, stuff like that. That said, I don't know how to reconcile that with the need to "know" while it's still in the womb. If it doesn't matter, why do they need to know? Maybe I overestimate people.
I was born female. I got girly toys and cloths. In the beginning. I did not touch that stuff when I grew consious about my surroundings. I was a boy. I played boy games and never ever wore girly cloths to daycare or school or at home. My grandmother was chocked. But that's me. My parents stopped nagging about being pretty early on.
I wore a dress when I finnished high school. Just to make my mom happy.
I actually wrote something about the 'stupidity' (my thoughts... hence the quotation marks) on 'gender reveal' parties and how they should be ACTUALLY called 'sex reveal' parties. Went into the difference between sex and gender. Blah blah blah. Frankly, having grown up a 'tomboy' most of my life, I've never really liked the whole, 'Girls get pink and dolls etc' and 'Boys get blue, and cars and trucks etc.' They are freakin' babies. They don't care. Its the adults who care.
So we did learn the sex of our kids, though with both of them, it wasn't very clear until we had a couple ultrasounds (not to determine gender. My pregnancies were rough... and that's the understatement of the century).
Frankly, the reason my kids have anything gendered is because a) most of their clothes are hand me downs b) husband started out with the idea my little boy couldn't have anything 'girly' [I had to kick his butt, figuratively speaking, I kid you not when he didn't want to buy the kid a pink sippy cup. It's a sippy cup for heaven's sake.].
As for my daughter, I kid you not the only reason she has ANYTHING pink is because almost all her clothes are handmedowns. I hate the color pink. With a passion. And you know what her favorite things are? Anything that is deemed for her brother. I buy both my kids stuffed animals, cars trucks, etc. Because that's just what they like. Neither one of them give a crap about dolls, so I think we have maybe... one doll that the hospital or some random person gave my daughter... never gets played with. (She does like shoes way more than necessary though hahaha. Ironically, her brother's more than hers)
Edit: Apparently I like the words 'Frankly' and 'I kid you not a little too much LOL
I wonder how women like Gwendoline Christie deal with it. She towers over 90% of people, men included. Yet, most people don't look negatively at her for it. I guess she just owns it and gets on with her life, being who she wants to be.
I think it's easier when humans are socialized into their assigned and aligned from birth. For us, we are doing it after the fact and have to overcome our socialization and society's reaction. If one lives in SF or the village it's probably easier than Biloxi or Birmingham.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro
Can't change your height gf you just rock been a tall woman.
I'm 6"1 and has issues with it at the start now I own it
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
If you take a look at the long tall sally website and brows through the product reviews by customers. Each predominantly female customer has a profile and it's surprising how many have larger feet than me (size 12) and are taller (im 6'1) which makes you think well if they have lived with it all their life then so can I.
No, sweetheart, you're Amazonian ;)
Rowan
Quote from: Cara_DarkCloud on September 13, 2017, 11:32:45 AM
If you take a look at the long tall sally website and brows through the product reviews by customers. Each predominantly female customer has a profile and it's surprising how many have larger feet than me (size 12) and are taller (im 6'1) which makes you think well if they have lived with it all their life then so can I.
It's next to impossible to find cheap shoes for big feet. I can buy shoes from LTS but the quality is not that good and they are pretty costly. For a few dollars more I get my shoes custom made at "shoes of prey" up to ladies size 15 and the shoes are customized to my specs. From sandals to stilettos . Payless stops at size 13 and just don't quite make it.
QuoteIt's next to impossible to find cheap shoes for big feet. I can buy shoes from LTS but the quality is not that good and they are pretty costly. For a few dollars more I get my shoes custom made at "shoes of prey" up to ladies size 15 and the shoes are customized to my specs. From sandals to stilettos . Payless stops at size 13 and just don't quite make it.
LTS isn't good quality? Man!! FML. I'm thinking of starting to wear skirts, but to get flats or heels to go with them, LTS seems like my only reasonable port of call.
By the way guys - I'd been thinking recently, okay, so Gwendoline Christie, Maria Sharapova etc. exist, but it hardly matters, because I'm always gonna be the tallest woman in any room, and I'll never meet a taller woman simply by chance. But actually, the other day I walked past a woman in the street who was at least 6'4", and on that day I had just been chatting to a woman who was 6'. So that was encouraging. I currently fluctuate between feeling good about being taller than men, and feeling lousy about having to crouch to speak to women. But the "passability" thing doesn't get me so much now.
I'm 6'5 and I've only seen women close to my height a couple times in my life. I think it's easier to pass when thin when tall. As far as shoes go, there are cheaper options than LTS, but they don't look so good. I bought a pair of lts flats and the right shoe feels bigger than the left and my right foot is larger...one concern I have about anything with heels is can the shoe take my weight? The flats buckle a little. I guess it won't be a problem when I get down to my desired weight, so it's probably best to hold off. In fact, it's a little sad that some of my favorite clothes are starting to not fit, but I'll have nicer choices in the future. We should create a clothes exchange service where we can donate our clothes to other trans people.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro