Last night I was hanging out at a McDonald's with a friend, and while he was in the restroom a guy sitting at the next table noticed me and burst out laughing. He whispered something to the guy next to him, I couldn't catch all the words but I could make out he said 'did you see that?' (because apparently I'm an inanimate object). I stared back at him to let him know I was aware of his taunt and he gave me a thumbs up. I felt so embarrassed and humilliated. I was so ashamed I bottled it up and didn't even tell my friend when he came back. I spent all the bus ride back home in tears, thinking of all the things I would've liked to say to that jerk but didn't dare.
I know I shouldn't let some stranger's opinion of me affect me, but I feel so discouraged right now. Sometimes I feel like I should give up on my attempts to be perceived as female and just cut my hair and dress like any ordinary dude. I'd be miserable as hell but I'd fly under the radar. I dunno. I feel like either way I choose is a road to unhappiness.
i have had this experience, i had long hair (not all that feminine it was kinda like a afroish) and as a bigger person i look somewhat androgynous walked by a group of people and they burst out into laughter, some people can just be real A@@holes
Whenever ive had this happen to me i usually just stare at the ground and walk by faster
Yes I've had this happen to me.
I was stopped in the middle of an IKEA store as some jerk blurted out 'that's a guy'.
She got a face full of insult back from me but that is another story.
Why do we transition?
What is it that drives us to be ourselves?
We have to fight medics, family, insurance companies, employers, governments.
We fight.
Why?
We fight because we are real. We are proud people who are living our lives as best as we can.
No we don't deserve all the crap that is thrown at us. We don't deserve the ridicule and the hatred.
But we will over come all of that because in the end we are what matters. Being ourselves and being free to be ourselves.
Some jerk in a McDonalds throws an insult - you know what? He probably doesn't have the brain power to think up an insult. It is a primal response -oh someone is different to me- I think I'm in a big enough group to be safe if I insult someone. Ha Ha aren't I the clever one?
He is a fool.
So. Don't get sad, be proud. Be proud that you are different and brave. Be proud that you are trying and succeeding. Be proud that you are a lovely human being.
Ignore the trash they go back and hide under their rocks where they feel safe.
Hello,
there's no general answer for the passing problem so i only can reply from my point of view.
When i go outside dressed as woman i'm fully aware of educationally-deprived people who don't know how to deal with TG. Because they're dull they only have 2 states: they laugh or become aggressive.
Why should i care about stupid people? Why should i make decisions about my own life because sb laughed at me?
Do you think they care about YOU, what you think of them?
Live your own life and do not depend on opinions of strangers.
Best
I've also had this happen. I walked into a convenience store and two of the three women behind the counter burst into laughter. With 5 or 6 other customers in the store, I just ignored them. I refused to let them embarrass me.
Yes, it still bothers me to this day. But what I took away from that experience, is that it really wasn't that bad. I didn't take it to heart. They're strangers that I'll probably never see again. And in all reality, their opinion just doesn't matter. After that incident, I gained a tremendous amount of self confidence. I know I don't pass, probably never will. But I'm still not as ugly as those two women.
Hey, we see it all the time, dumb people laugh at other people because they lack the ability to see the other person as a living, breathing, caring person with actual feelings. They laugh at transgenders, they laugh at very short people, they laugh and stare at very tall people, they laugh at someone with a limp, bad scar, someone that doesn't fit their criteria, whatever that would be.
Best thing to do, like others have suggested, is to hold your composure, try to hold on to any self-confidence and self-assurance that you can muster and IGNORE the ignoramus. Having a friend with you really helps so until you can again gain your self-confidence it might be best to stick with another person in the short term. It is too bad that this happens but we can only control our feelings and actions and can not regulate how someone else acts... particularly so with the dimwits that try to shame and laugh about others. In time, karma will have it's revenge with these idiots.
As StacyRenee stated in the previous reply, "They're strangers that I'll probably never see again."
Its sad to hear this happening.. Those that taunt others would have some issues themselves. Fat guts, big butt, yuck hair, bad teeth etc. I am sure they would not want anyone pointing their flaws out.. No one is perfect...
The LBGT community in Australia are quite well protected now that Same Sex Marriage laws are legal... There is also the Anti Discrimination Act.. Those that do taunt need to realise that they leave themselves open to litigation. If a company does this or their employees, you can contact the Australian Human Rights Commission.. They have to act in accordance with the Act. Its a hassle but eventually people will realise that they cannot just taunt and make a person feel less valued than then are.. Not sure what other countries laws or Act's are in place to protect the LBGTI communities..
When I was younger, up to the age of about 23, I was care free and very happy with being me.. I just about got away with dressing female but I only did it at night. But after I was bashed, left for dead and spent six month in hospital I gave up trying to pass as a female in public. My Gender GP suggest that I suffered some kind of Post Traumatic Syndrome where my male hormones took vengeance on my body .. Within two years, my voice changed, my beard was growing, my hair was even beginning to fall out.. I also began to go grey.. When I was a young person, in the UK it was illegal to be gay or lesbian. I thought Australia was a safer place to live but I read when I arrived here in 1988, that gays were going missing, probably murdered; its been suggested. Very very scary... So a few taunts don't seem to be that bad in the big picture of things.. But still not so good for your own self-esteem.
These days I have a genuine fear of going out in pubic wearing any female clothes, unless I feel I can get away with it.. I do wear nice female stretch jeans and tops, but wear a size a little bigger.. The other day a kid asked his mother if I was a man or a women.. Not really sure why he asked that.. I was not acting as a female and I did not have any makeup on.. I was quite flattered to be honest..
TR...
<I removed unneeded comments about cisfemales.
Admin>
There's a reason they call it self-confidence. It's called that because it comes from within yourself. It doesn't depend on the approval of others. Confidence that needs the approval of others may feel better than the lack of it, but it is not self-confidence.
Self-confidence is about knowing in your heart that you are a good person. That you are strong. That you have overcome serious obstacles to become your authentic self. That you make your decisions based on what is right and what affirms yourself and others. It comes from self-esteem.
Self-confidence allows you to walk past the low-lifes who stare and mutter, with your head held high and a smile on your face because you have found yourself and they haven't. It is unshakeable.
Sometimes people can be cruel. They say something, then in some feeble attempt to mitigate the unkind remark, especially after they know they have be caught saying or doing something inappropriate, they say they were "just kidding," or say "can't you take a joke, we were just having some fun? (at YOUR expense, by the way), or give a goofy look, or a thumbs up.
They were in the wrong, not you. I hope you have a great day today!
Chrissy
I'm so sorry that happened to you. People just suck sometimes. But when something like that happens consider the source. People who have a need to insult and try to embarrass others are usually very insecure themselves and make fun of others to make themselves feel better. Also transition is very hard and there aren't a lot of people who are strong enough to go through it. Before I transitioned I had people call me ->-bleeped-<-, it, shim, etc and I had people laugh at me. Since I've transitioned I pass very well but I still have some people laugh and say things to me because I'm albino. I've heard all kinds of things said about me. Once when I was walking my dog there was a couple visiting their kids who lived down the street. When I walked past them they gawked at me and I said hi. They didn't day anything but I was well within hearing range when I heard " that weird little albino boy that lives down the street. Yes I'm sure who could forget those weird eyes." then the old guy said something and the big mouth wife said " a sex change I guess". I had people call me all kinds of things, an alien, a wraith, a ghost, vampire, Stahma Tar (that's an alien character from a sci-fi show), and someone once told me I looked like one of the alien children from Village of the damned. Once at the food court these girls sitting behind me were laughing and saying " ever hear of spray tanning?" " we should start a collection for her".
I used to get annoyed because after the fact I always thought of great replies but in the moment I couldn't ever think of anything. But actually if you totally ignore people who say mean stuff to you it takes away some of the fun for them. The world has a lot of ->-bleeped-<-s in it. People will make fun of any number of things. Being too fat, too thin, little people, developmentally disabled people, deformed people, etc. People who do that are just showing the world what supreme ->-bleeped-<-s they are. Just remember that you have no reason to be embarrassed and keep your head held high.
Bug hugs,
Julia,
Well said by you, in more direct language, and it is unfortunate for sure that some people can be so unkind, as they were with you.
Chrissy
The reason they laugh is because they have been trained and conditioned to do so, not necessarily because they are inherently bad people. Transgender women have been portrayed in film and screen in a negative light for decades. Consider popular movies like Ace Ventura Pet Detective or Mrs Doubtfire from the 1990s. Adults today grew up watching movies and TV shows like that where trans women were there to be laughed at. So that's become their trained, conditioned response.
Fortunately that is slowly changing in today's society, but it takes time. We'll get there, in the meantime please know that most all of us have all gone through similar experiences. You're not alone.
I'm sorry. I've only been presenting as myself for a couple months in public, but I know what this is like too and it stinks. The first time it happened to me was, "that's the most disgusting thing I've ever seen," with pointing and laughing. All I could do was to finish what I was out doing, and consciously hold my head up while I did it, but I'll admit that took a lot of strength and it absolutely crushed me to hear people say something like that.
I've learned in transition that very few people have the courage & strength to live their own life. Most people are trying to get approval of people around them - weakness is a very common character trait. We have to find strength most people don't need to find or we basically just slowly die inside. You've found that courage and strength, clearly. You are beautiful because of that.
A quote I have on my bathroom mirror:
"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment." --Ralph Waldo Emerson
I wish I could evoke some sentiment that the rest of these amazing ladies haven't already but they have made some amazing and beautiful observations about what we go through and the strength we have to have to do it. I went out in public for the first time presenting as female yesterday. First while I didn't get any outright comments, I had some dude take a picture of me with his phone and I had a few interesting looks from some people and a store clerk, but nothing overt. It was hard and I couldn't have done it without my soon to be ex-wife who went with me. I knew this was likely and it scared the hell out of me to even try, but I just took a deep breath and plowed forward.
It is strange, I still have doubts about if I am on the right path (transitioning), but every day, I keep taking another little step towards womanhood. Why is that do you figure? If I am not sure, why do I keep going? Best I can figure, there is something in me that NEEDS to keep going regardless of any ridicule and hardship in front of me. Nothing about this is easy yet I find myself continually taking the next logical step one day after the other. I figure that need is within all of us that keep moving forward...we have reached a point that no matter what, we have to be ourselves or just not be, and THAT is unthinkable...at least to me.
Just keep on truckin', ToriJo, and lean on us, your sisters, when you have to. We're here for ya and I hope you will be here for us too when that day comes.
Much love,
Julie
Yeah, it sucks. It truly does.
But don't let the actions of someone you'll probably NEVER see again dictate how you live. Be yourself and be proud! You've worked HARD to get to where you are! Be proud of that! It takes courage to live as your authentic self, to "go against what society sees as normal."
Being trans is not an easy road to travel. But many of us believe it is one worth taking. So be proud of the fact that you have decided to live your life as the person you should have been born as.
You are loved. *hug* [emoji173]
Ryuichi
Sent from my SM-G930P using Tapatalk
Quote from: JulieAllana on February 11, 2018, 11:53:46 AMI figure that need is within all of us that keep moving forward...we have reached a point that no matter what, we have to be ourselves or just not be, and THAT is unthinkable...at least to me.
This so accurately describes our journey. Well said!
If it's a person who I wouldn't care if they dropped dead in front of me I say laugh away. Keep it moving... My philosophy is it's my life to do as I wish and as long as you are not harming anyone to hell what they think.
Thanks EVERYONE who took the time to answer to this rant of mine and give me courage, it truly means a lot to me <3
Quote from: JulieAllanaIt is strange, I still have doubts about if I am on the right path (transitioning), but every day, I keep taking another little step towards womanhood. Why is that do you figure? If I am not sure, why do I keep going? Best I configure, there is something in me that NEEDS to keep going regardless of any ridicule and hardship in front of me.
I felt so identified with what you said here. There's this inner drive in me that keeps pushing me toward the female end of the spectrum. Even though I find it hard to deal with people staring or sneering. I wish it weren't all about passing, but I also feel like I'd be so much happier if I could just go around and socialize like any regular cis girl.
i get laughed at and stared at too. somebody once laughed at me so hard that they had to stop because they couldn't breathe...while i was standing there, unable to breathe and trying not to cry not out of laughter, but because i was so upset by it. but the thing i always tell myself is these people's lives are sad. they are afraid of differentiation. they may not be trans themselves, but i can guarantee that there are things they want to change in their lives, maybe their hair or their marriage or their hobbies, but because they are so afraid of venturing out of the box to make themselves happy, they will never achieve that self satisfaction. you are brave enough to have done so. you are brave and strong and powerful enough to have stepped out into the world as your true self - that's impressive on its own, without even thinking about the fact that people like this are so cowardly that they think mocking/degrading/hurting you will make up for their own misfortunes. of course, they don't deserve pity, but i think it's important to remember your own bravery and to compare it to their lack of.
Sometimes I think I'd tell them, wouldn't it be funny if you got your ass kicked by a ->-bleeped-<-?
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro
Quote from: Camouflage on February 11, 2018, 01:39:53 AM
Last night I was hanging out at a McDonald's with a friend, and while he was in the restroom a guy sitting at the next table noticed me and burst out laughing. He whispered something to the guy next to him, I couldn't catch all the words but I could make out he said 'did you see that?' (because apparently I'm an inanimate object). I stared back at him to let him know I was aware of his taunt and he gave me a thumbs up. I felt so embarrassed and humilliated. I was so ashamed I bottled it up and didn't even tell my friend when he came back. I spent all the bus ride back home in tears, thinking of all the things I would've liked to say to that jerk but didn't dare.
I know I shouldn't let some stranger's opinion of me affect me, but I feel so discouraged right now. Sometimes I feel like I should give up on my attempts to be perceived as female and just cut my hair and dress like any ordinary dude. I'd be miserable as hell but I'd fly under the radar. I dunno. I feel like either way I choose is a road to unhappiness.
It happens to me quite a bit ( almost daily.). The first time it happened, I wanted to cry. But now, I just pretend like they are not there. When I get overwhelmed with it. I play some music on my headphones. I try to get bad people out of my mind as fast as possible. Because as others already stated, I probably will never see these people again, so they don't deserve a place in my mind.
No matter what anyone says to you, what matters the most is, you being you. And you loving the real you. Everybody else who doesn't support you is just background noise.
Sent from my LG-TP450 using Tapatalk
I too am so sorry. It must have been awful. I so want to say to move on and not let it bother you.
However, I know how hard it is not to take comments to heart. Especially when it is about your physical appearance. It likely makes one want to shrivel up and disappear. I mean, this is you in physical form. So, to get a reaction like that is a recrimination against yourself. Mortifying is the word that comes to mind. You are brave for having gone through it.
I have only gotten looks so far. However, I used to get this sort of thing as a kid. I wasn't even trying to be different from myself. I isolated myself and built up very strong walls. It protected me at the time but it was not mentally healthy for me.
Have a good cry. Know how in the wrong and terrible these "fellow humans" are. Try to forgive them and move on. If you can't, just move on. I don't think it ever stops hurting. However, it becomes a known pain, like shots, cutting your self shaving, brushing really tangled hair. Seems silly when I write it that way. I know it isn't. It is wrong and just plain rude.
You are brave, and strong. It takes so much bravery simply to accept our true selves. Then to take that acceptance walking out the door personifying that belief. It is so much easier to just give in. Never the less, she persists and continues to.
Others have said some of my thoughts. Just how awful must their lives be to have to use us as their entertainment and validation of superiority or acceptance. They have never grown beyond middle or junior high school. They must be terrified to be accepted or lose their place. You are braver and stronger than them. Bravery and strength does not mean you don't feel hurt and cry. It is in the persistence beyond so many odds.
I wish you love, acceptance and a smoother journey.
With warmth,
Jacqui
The thing is, this is not about you at all. It's all about him. There's a reason it's call transphobia. You touched a deep well of fear in that guy. His fear response was a primal one. To laugh. He was laughing at himself. Laughing at that place of fear that he has no other way of dealing with. His fear of the other that he doesn't understand. He doesn't know why he doesn't understand. He just knows that he is afraid.
Don't get angry at him. Feel sorry for him. Pity him.
I usually just grin back at them. If it gets too obnoxious, I say something like: "What's on your mind, Big Boy?" really loud.
If it is homophobic, something like, "Why are you interested, queer or something?"
Scares the crap out of them.
I can no longer pass so it is real obvious, Positive comments beat the negative about ten to one.
Oh, I can't stand McD's. the food gives me gut-ache.
Unfortunately, all trans seemingly have this happen to them at some points. It hurts, it's embarrassing and demeaning.
But we often can do something about it. The last time it happened to me I was at a supermarket franchise checkout line. My voice broke (dry throat) and you could just see the dim wit checkout girl's one brain cell begin to fire. So when she figures out I'm a trans she starts laughing and trying to get the attention of the young man working the next aisle over. I guess she wanted to let him in on the "joke." I was more angry than anything and asked to see the store manager. The alleged store manager was not very interested. So when I got home I contacted the Franchise Headquarters with a stark headline: "I was harrassed in your store today by one of your employees." I then went on to ask if lgbtq people are welcome and safe in your store. The next day I spoke with the District Manager, and I suspect that she might have been a Lesbian (family, lol) She profusely apologized, and later that day the store manager (the real one!) called and said the girl had been disciplined. She said the girl (basically admitted it) was extremely sorry and would never do anything like that again.
Pondering that and other incidents-if it occurs in a national (or strong regional) business we stand a very good chance of redress and a teaching moment to boot.
It works better to use lgbtq, because it is a larger demographic and a lot of people who wouldn't harrass a gay man feel no remorse about demeaning us. So if using the added power of Lesbians and gay men better frames the problem : it's better for all of us (lgbtq)
That said, it's best not to rebut male harrassers (especially groups of young males!) because there is a danger that it will become physical (mtf & ftm). With those types it is often easiest to just avoid that demographic as much as possible.
Quote from: KathyLauren on February 11, 2018, 07:54:14 AM
There's a reason they call it self-confidence. It's called that because it comes from within yourself. It doesn't depend on the approval of others. Confidence that needs the approval of others may feel better than the lack of it, but it is not self-confidence.
Self-confidence is about knowing in your heart that you are a good person. That you are strong. That you have overcome serious obstacles to become your authentic self. That you make your decisions based on what is right and what affirms yourself and others. It comes from self-esteem.
Self-confidence allows you to walk past the low-lifes who stare and mutter, with your head held high and a smile on your face because you have found yourself and they haven't. It is unshakeable.
As she so often does, KathyLauren goes to the heart of the matter.
In time, as your confidence grows, this sort of thing will bother you less and less.
When I first started going out in girl mode, I was leaving the mall as four Hispanic dudes were going inside; and one of them saw me and just cracked up. It bothered me then; but, thinking back on it, I feel more amusement than anything else. They're just clueless. I think some of them need to "put us in our place," at least in their own minds, in order to keep their own worlds in order. I think some people find us very threatening, because we shake up one of the bedrock "knowns" of their worlds. We make them uncertain.
It's more about them than it is about us. As you grow to love yourself more -- and you should -- the reactions of foolish people just won't matter. You know the truth. They don't.
I have had my fair shares of laughter. At first it really bothers, but thankfully it will get better. Better in a sense of you dealing with it. I think the biggest change in me was after starting HRT. Over time I started to ignore the looks and or talk.
I now notice the compliments. :) When I am out with my daughters they will tell me later that someone was staring at me or talking about me to their friends. However my daughters gladly stare back and give them a look. :)
Be yourself dear, it take time but eventually you start to not noticing it as much.
I have been laughed at sometimes, and given weird stares routinely, and I find it very hurtful. it is a painful reminder that I did not seek hormones when I was young and would have been pretty, because then I would have gotten a very different kind of attention. Therefore, I see this negative attention as a reflection of my weak will. I had the option to live as a woman, but I let ignorance and fear control me, so now I am a joke.
Once when I was on a walk, two young adults (a man and a woman) asked for information about the trail. I looked at them and responded, thinking my voice would pass. To my dismay, my voice did not pass, and the two of them broke into intense laughter as they walked away without acknowledging my help.
On another walk, I overheard two pretty girls debating whether I was a man or a woman - they disagreed with each other. Their conversation ended with one saying "I could be wrong; it could be a woman, but it looks like a MAN!" Ouch!
This kind of rudeness was one of the reasons I delayed transitioning. I have always been a sensitive person and it really hurts. Unfortunately, negative attention became a self-fulfilling prophecy as I became too old and masculine to fully feminize...
Snipped:
Quote from: Steph34 on February 18, 2018, 09:03:09 AM
I have been laughed at sometimes, and given weird stares routinely, and I find it very hurtful.
- - - - -.
On another walk, I overheard two pretty girls debating whether I was a man or a woman - they disagreed with each other. Their conversation ended with one saying "I could be wrong; it could be a woman, but it looks like a MAN!" Ouch!
...
Steph34: I think all of us while transitioning and even after have experienced this kind of hurtful and negative attention, I know that I have. Hang in there and try to stay positive, consider the source... rude and biased people... you can't control how they act BUT you are in full control of how you act and your reactions.
I love your curly long hair!!! :) ... Have you resumed your HRT?
That can happen to anybody, even to cis-gender people. Have you ever traveled to a remote country? When I was in a Russian city, some of a kind of redneck people in the street there shouted at me, although I do not understand Russian. In a Argentine city, Buenos Aires, a young girl called me Chino, and some little students asked my Chinese colleague to take photos together. People's responses to a kind of different person vary greatly depending on personality, culture and education.
Self-confidence is important as others said. In my case, actually I tend to be brazen, sometimes embarrassing those people. At least, they need some courage to speak to me. But most people here (S. Korea) are not so much rude to strangers. When I was in a Japanese university last year, some young students came to me, asking me some questions on my fashion, and taking photos together. People tend to treat me as a kind of celebrity.
barbie~~
Some people are just scum. There is a girl with downs syndrome who works at Walmart. She stands at the entrance and greets people and if you walk in with a bag from another store she puts a sticker on it. She's a very sweet person. She likes hair and sometimes she asks if she can touch my hair. So one day I'm talking to her as I'm walking in and she wants to touch my hair. All of the sudden I hear laughing and I look around and there are these 3 teenage girls just gawking. One of them says " OMG, she let that "thing" touch her! I bet she catches "retard" from IT!" then they all just started laughing. I was beyond shocked. I was actually speechless. There was an older lady on her way out of the store who saw the whole thing and she just unloaded on them. They weren't laughing anymore. What kind of utter and total scum would make fun of and laugh at someone with downs syndrome? ?? It just blows my mind that anyone could be that evil!
snipped:
Quote from: Julia1996 on February 18, 2018, 10:49:22 AM
One of them says " OMG, she let that "thing" touch her! I bet she catches "retard" from IT!" then they all just started laughing. I was beyond shocked. I was actually speechless. There was an older lady on her way out of the store who saw the whole thing and she just unloaded on them. They weren't laughing anymore. What kind of utter and total scum would make fun of and laugh at someone with downs syndrome? ?? It just blows my mind that anyone could be that evil!
@ Julia1996: I tend to not stay silent... I will speak up like that lady did in pitiful situations like that also.
Sometimes when I am in the restroom when I see someone come out of one of the stalls and I see them head right for the door I speak up and say "Aren't you going to wash your hands?" I will either get the finger and a dirty look as they leave or they are somewhat contrite, mutter something and then head for the sink to wash their hands.
Quote from: Aspiringperson on February 18, 2018, 11:10:15 AM
snipped:
@ Julia1996: I tend to not stay silent... I will speak up like that lady did in pitiful situations like that also.
Sometimes when I am in the restroom when I see someone come out of one of the stalls and I see them head right for the door I speak up and say "Aren't you going to wash your hands?" I will either get the finger and a dirty look as they leave or they are somewhat contrite, mutter something and then head for the sink to wash their hands.
People are gross! Once I was in the ladies room and I hear the pad disposal box slam shut and I hear a wrapper crinkle obviously she was changing her pad. So I'm washing my hands and she comes out of the stall and walks right out the door! Ewwwwww! !
Often being the tallest person in the room. I have always been stared at like when I find a person taller than me. I just can't take my eyes off them. But being tall and being laughed at for having a small penis by the rest of the guys in the locker room. Somehow they think my height says how long my penis should be.. That seems so long ago. If I could just get rid of the damn thing. Unfortunately surgery is not in the cards.
Quote from: Aspiringperson on February 18, 2018, 09:13:21 AM
Steph34: I think all of us while transitioning and even after have experienced this kind of hurtful and negative attention, I know that I have. Hang in there and try to stay positive, consider the source... rude and biased people... you can't control how they act BUT you are in full control of how you act and your reactions.
I love your curly long hair!!! :) ... Have you resumed your HRT?
I did consider the source: two people who were infinitely more feminine than me, with looks I could only dream of as a 'late' transitioner. I felt like I deserved to be looked down on by them, so I just kept walking, perhaps a little faster. When people make fun of me, I see it as proof that I am a failure for not seeking hormones sooner.
The only times since September 2014 that i went off my HRT were for two surgeries late in 2015. I love my long curly hair too, and the fact it was all falling out was my strongest motive to transition - to try to save the one feminine feature I had. And you have a nice shape; you'll be fine, not so sure about me...
this was a couple of summers ago I was sitting at a table outside a restaurant and a guy was coming by the restaurant and started yelling 'that's a guy ' some people just come from a dimension that never evolved from the amoeba , no offense to amoeba's
I believe it was mentioned once, that we should pity the man. He has no idea what he has done. Karma kill break him someday, I'm sure. But there are so many people out there that just have no idea what we are. Or why we are doing it.
The man was a total nerf-herder, obviously.
Pity the poor unaware creature. You are becoming a Butterfly and he will be a pig till the day he dies. You can not teach a pig to fly.
Quote from: stephaniec on February 18, 2018, 07:33:33 PM
this was a couple of summers ago I was sitting at a table outside a restaurant and a guy was coming by the restaurant and started yelling 'that's a guy ' some people just come from a dimension that never evolved from the amoeba , no offense to amoeba's
That's something else that really pisses me off, the need people have to let EVERYONE know you're trans if they out you. This happened to me at the mall once when I was with Tristan. I ran into this hateful girl I went to school with. Of course she recognized me, there aren't many albinos running around in Denver. This stupid girl saw me as she walked past me and made a point to turn around and come back. She asked Tristan if he knew I was a " dude" and and the guy who was with her told him he was ###g a "dickstump". He asked the girl what of it and told her she was a bit uppity for a swamp donkey. Then he just looked at the guy and said " got anything else to say mate?" He didnt. When people out any trans person in public they are putting them in danger. What if Tristan hadn't known I was trans and reacted badly to finding out? He's 6'5 and all muscle. One punch would totally destroy my face and it wouldn't take much from someone that size to kill me. I'm pretty sure that's what the girl was hoping for. People just suck!
Quote from: Julia1996 on February 19, 2018, 11:01:16 AM
That's something else that really pisses me off, the need people have to let EVERYONE know you're trans if they out you. This happened to me at the mall once when I was with Tristan. I ran into this hateful girl I went to school with. Of course she recognized me, there aren't many albinos running around in Denver. This stupid girl saw me as she walked past me and made a point to turn around and come back. She asked Tristan if he knew I was a " dude" and and the guy who was with her told him he was ###g a "dickstump". He asked the girl what of it and told her she was a bit uppity for a swamp donkey. Then he just looked at the guy and said " got anything else to say mate?" He didnt. When people out any trans person in public they are putting them in danger. What if Tristan hadn't known I was trans and reacted badly to finding out? He's 6'5 and all muscle. One punch would totally destroy my face and it wouldn't take much from someone that size to kill me. I'm pretty sure that's what the girl was hoping for. People just suck!
Yes they do. I imagine I'll be getting a taste of this sort of crap when I go visit my folks this summer.. Should be interesting to say the least. Can't wait to be reminded of why I left in the first place.
Quote from: Julia1996 on February 19, 2018, 11:01:16 AM
That's something else that really pisses me off, the need people have to let EVERYONE know you're trans if they out you. This happened to me at the mall once when I was with Tristan. I ran into this hateful girl I went to school with. Of course she recognized me, there aren't many albinos running around in Denver. This stupid girl saw me as she walked past me and made a point to turn around and come back. She asked Tristan if he knew I was a " dude" and and the guy who was with her told him he was ###g a "dickstump". He asked the girl what of it and told her she was a bit uppity for a swamp donkey. Then he just looked at the guy and said " got anything else to say mate?" He didnt. When people out any trans person in public they are putting them in danger. What if Tristan hadn't known I was trans and reacted badly to finding out? He's 6'5 and all muscle. One punch would totally destroy my face and it wouldn't take much from someone that size to kill me. I'm pretty sure that's what the girl was hoping for. People just suck!
Good thing that Tristan put them in their place! The way you describe him, he seems like a really good boyfriend.
Quote from: Charlie Nicki on February 19, 2018, 01:16:50 PM
Good thing that Tristan put them in their place! The way you describe him, he seems like a really good boyfriend.
He is a good boyfriend. When I first told him I was trans he wasn't immediately accepting. But after he thought it over he decided he was ok with it since I'm having surgery soon. Thankfully he's secure enough with himself and his masculinty that comments about me being trans from others don't really phase him. A couple of times other guys have told him having a trans girlfriend makes him gay. Both times he said they could think whatever they wanted but that if he was gay he would be with a guy. I got very lucky with him. My biggest concern when we started dating was how he would react to stuff other people might say to him about having a trans girlfriend. Thankfully it doesn't bother him.
Quote from: Julia1996 on February 19, 2018, 11:01:16 AM
I'm pretty sure that's what the girl was hoping for.
That's exactly what happened to the late Gwen Aruajo.
Quote from: Julia1996 on February 19, 2018, 03:21:41 PM
He is a good boyfriend. When I first told him I was trans he wasn't immediately accepting. But after he thought it over he decided he was ok with it since I'm having surgery soon. Thankfully he's secure enough with himself and his masculinty that comments about me being trans from others don't really phase him. A couple of times other guys have told him having a trans girlfriend makes him gay. Both times he said they could think whatever they wanted but that if he was gay he would be with a guy. I got very lucky with him. My biggest concern when we started dating was how he would react to stuff other people might say to him about having a trans girlfriend. Thankfully it doesn't bother him.
That's great Julia. I know you don't like pictures but hopefully one day you'll post a pic of yourself with him so we can see this handsome guy and you as well :)
Yes! Julia show us a pic or two of you and Tristan. Give us some hope girl
Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk
This is where thick skin really comes to play. Those guys have nothing better to do than to seem cool in front of their friends that's all. I'm sorry this happened to you. Just ignore it and keep it moving, pay them no mind.