I have been on this forum for over 5 years. Before the Bruce Jenner era when being TG was not a global topic. I remember all the kind members and the help provided. The members that were not so nice were few. Maybe its my imagination but there seems to be so many more that seem to so set in their attitudes and inflexible in their views and topics get quickly locked. For those long time members, is this just my imagination?
I am new to this forum so I'm not sure if I can really comment on this, but everyone so far has been perfectly helpful to me. I'm not sure, we they even more helpful before? I don't know. But I doubt it is your imagination. Trans has become a more global topic, but that isn't always a bad thing (not saying that you said it was). I, personally, am here for everyone, and I always have an open mind to new things!
- Fleur
Quote from: warlockmaker on March 04, 2018, 10:14:18 PM
I have been on this forum for over 5 years. Before the Bruce Jenner era when being TG was not a global topic. I remember all the kind members and the help provided. The members that were not so nice were few. Maybe its my imagination but there seems to be so many more that seem to so set in their attitudes and inflexible in their views and topics get quickly locked. For those long time members, is this just my imagination?
@ warlockmaker: Compared to you I have only been here for a short time but in that time I have seen several topics locked and also have seen some nasty posting exchanges between a few members....
.... yes, it is sad to see BUT wherever you go there will be some folks that seemingly try to ruin it for the majority.... and I don't let that affect how I feel about the Susan's Place forums. For the most part I find members here that are helpful, kind, friendly and ready to offer their suggestions and share their transitioning experiences... and also they will listen to suggestions as well.
I like this place, it is a Friendly and Safe place for any of us that are transitioning or have transitioned.
Please don't let a few instances of witnessing bad attitudes and locked threads ruin this nice place for you.
Actually I am very, very thankful for the good job that the
MODERATORS and the
ADMINISTRATIVE Staff do to keep this place the nice friendly and safe place that it is.
Best wishes to you.
Aspiringperson
Was and still is the best forum for TGs seeking guidance, help or just a place to vent. The strict monitoring does prevent some very agressive and abusive comments on contraversial threads. Unfortunately,I have been involved in some of these threads and always regret my comments later. Maybe the percentage of not so nice people has not changed, just the population comming out has grown, and all thise pent up feelings. I hope we can unite and provide a strong political force for equal rights.
Quote from: warlockmaker on March 04, 2018, 10:14:18 PM
I have been on this forum for over 5 years. Before the Bruce Jenner era when being TG was not a global topic. I remember all the kind members and the help provided. The members that were not so nice were few. Maybe its my imagination but there seems to be so many more that seem to so set in their attitudes and inflexible in their views and topics get quickly locked. For those long time members, is this just my imagination?
It depends on what you call long-time, I guess. I started visiting here in earnest early in 2017, though I'd dropped in occasionally for years. I finally created an account last July.
When I told my therapist that I'd gotten active in an online forum, she strongly cautioned me about some of the horrible things that could happen and the prevailing negativity that abounded in such places. I tried to reassure her that Susan's was different - that though being open for anyone it was a warm safe place to be, mostly due to the fine staff here who tolerate no shenanigans.
I do occasionally see tempers flare and personalities clash, and when I run across such negativity I just stop reading that topic. The vast majority of people here are tolerant and respectful, and most of all, helpful. The things I've learned and the support I've received here have been instrumental in getting me where I am today, and Susan's has largely displaced my need for my therapist. Despite the flaws, I think it's the best place on the internet for us all.
- Stephanie
Not everyone has those same aspirations though and it is important to remember that. I can understand what you want and that is fantastic for all, however others just want to live their lives and leave this part of their life behind without having to be defined by it. I have chances to get involved in those ways and for my own safety I choose not to considering my safety is more important than making progress for everyone at this point. Until things improve in this and other countries I will remain on the sidelines for my own safety. I rather blend in and just live than advocate at this time. Just my two cents. Hugs
Mariah
Quote from: warlockmaker on March 04, 2018, 10:48:12 PM
Was and still is the best forum for TGs seeking guidance, help or just a place to vent. The strict monitoring does prevent some very agressive and abusive comments on contraversial threads. Unfortunately,I have been involved in some of these threads and always regret my comments later. Maybe the percentage of not so nice people has not changed, just the population comming out has grown, and all thise pent up feelings. I hope we can unite and provide a strong political force for equal rights.
I have only been here a little more than 4 years, from what I have seen it's about the same. I think the moderators now are doing a great job. Not that they didn't then, but they are really on top of things now and the issues don't reach the boiling point like they did before. Or not as often anyway.
Lol, there have been some serious arguments here over the years. Times where I got frustrated and left for a while, but there is nothing like this out there anywhere. I think that it is as good as ever, if not better.
I have been lurking here for some time as a visitor and guest since the late 90's. This has been the best place to find information for me. I have noticed some change in attitudes. I think as people become more open and opinionated some view will clash. I am not closed about being transgender, nor am I 100% open about it. If asked in a civil manner I will engage people. Being asked has happened to a much lesser degree since starting HRT (the first 6 months sucked).
I agree with the moderation as this is a private board and there are rules. There are plenty of groups on facebook where barbs, arrows, hurtful comments and other such things can be exchanged. I am 100% for free speech no matter what it is in a public forum, this is not a public forum and there are rules.
I do not attend my local transgender support meetings as "My Kind" is not welcome there. I am pretty fiscally conservative, I lean right on a lot of issues, however, I am 100% of the mind set if what you are doing hurts no one else then go for it. Like I tell people your rights end at the tip of my nose.
Never do I want to tell others how they need to live and what is best for them, beyond if I am hired to consult for real estate investment and or acquisition. Live and let live, life is so much easier that way.
- Margaret
I can only control what I do and not others. So I don't let nonsense bother me. Still I'm very opinionated, especially in person I'm assertive at times. I don't think I step on anyones toes, I may have given some feedback that comes from my (sometimes limited) viewpoint.
Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk
I've been a lurker off and on for a long time. I've only been an active member for about a year. I've seen the best and the worst of people. When I see the worst, it reminds me of high school or low level sniping you might see on a gaming forum. In those places you expect that kind of antagonism. Here I don't expect it, especially when people are baring their soul and are in pain. I'm glad there are rules and it's moderated here. I do not think it's any worse now than before just new people and as usual some are let's say obnoxious. I try to not get involved in any of their threads.
Bari Jo
I think it's more a symptom of today's western society as a whole, rather than something that's specific to the transgender community. For example, 10 or even 5 years ago, people from different political parties could have a nice, civilized discussion about policy. Now it's all about loyalty to your tribe, uncompromising attitudes to any viewpoints other than your own, and polarizing figures on each side.
Not that long ago, we used to have to get to know and befriend our neighbors across the street, which forced us to see other people as human beings regardless of their background and viewpoints. Now we can all just stay inside our homes, seek out, and interact only with other people who fully agree with us (thanks to the internet and especially social media). When all we hear are voices similar to our own, anyone that disagrees with us can easily be made to be seen as the enemy.
That's what's happening in the western world, and that culture of divisiveness and polarization is seeping into every aspect of our lives, including the transgender community.
I think it's about the same as it was when I deactived my account a few months ago; I noticed that some of the members that were here when I left, are either inactive or have deactivated their accounts; and there are new members of course so the dynamics have changed a bit during the last few months, as there seems to be some new clicks that have formed, but the Socs' and the Greasers seem to come to some sort of an agreement, so things are looking up!
it would be nice if the very few didn't force topics to be shut down there are a lot of important discussions that can be had
I'm not sure what has changed, but I know I have. I've become somewhat disengaged from things. Partly it's because I've more experience now and there's less new things to interest me, and I don't like repetition. I think I've grown a bit less tolerant to things I don't like and perhaps that makes it more visible to me.
I've seen more tolerance in some ways, a more positive attitude. The ones I really notice are about informed consent for hrt and even more taking non-standard paths for surgery. I used to get really involved in discussions about that and I've not seen it come up in a long time. I think Warlockmakers post about SRS with no RLE may have been quite influential in changing the general view on that.
I mostly read old threads here rather than participate much, one thing I notice is that people just seem a bit more verbose in general now. There seem to be more monster threads documenting peoples' journeys. Some of those old discussions have a bit of snipping too, and I don't read every new thread here by a long shot but all told this place is pretty civil as discussion boards go, the TS forum on crossdressers.com or r/asktransgender on ->-bleeped-<- seem a lot more hostile. I asked someone at a support group about ->-bleeped-<- and they flipped out, you can't really post outside of the TG community without someone reading your posts and starting up with the transphobia, so nix that, unless you have two accounts going. So many of the posters at cd.com seemed really testy, or transier-than-thou. I'm on a couple of FB groups but the layout of things there really annoys me. I have two accounts there and it keeps asking Lucy if she wants to be friends with Kevin's friends...and apparently our friends can see this other person, which is a rather alarming security breach, the byproduct of using the same phone # for both accounts.
So, I'm a susans.org fan. Has this site really been going since the 90s? Damn!
Non-stop since late 1995. Got the susans.org domain in 1996. :) We have no plans on going anywhere!
Anyone other than me remember the old compu.net/ts site that existed pre-susans.org? Was the same site but before the domain. Boo the wayback machine doesn't have it in their archive...
Quote from: Susan on March 05, 2018, 03:42:23 AM
Non-stop since late 1995. Got the susans.org domain in 1996. :) We have no plans on going anywhere!
Anyone other than me remember the old compu.net/ts site that existed pre-susans.org? Was the same site but before the domain. Boo the wayback machine doesn't have it in their archive...
Earlier this year I retuned to this forum after yet another hospital stay - I had strayed from here for a while because of some physical health concerns - and have to say it was like coming home. :)
I (and feel I can speak for most of us) owe you a huge debt of gratitude for starting this site and keeping it moving through thick and thin. While I do agree that sometimes anyone can go overboard, you and the moderators :police: do a phenomenal job of keeping conversations civil.
Susan
This forum is remarkably free of trolls and people who sign up simply to cause trouble. On a forum of this size, I would have expected a lot of it. There is almost none.
As for the sniping, I don't see much of it on the open boards. I do tend to get lovely PMs from several members here since they would rather send me expletives and accusations than have civilized discussions in the open, but that's hardly a problem for me. It amuses rather than bothers me.
On ideological topics, yes, there seem to be lots of people incapable of backing up their assertions and storming out of discussions, but that's a symptom of the way things are going in general I suppose. Tribalism, ideology and virtue signalling seems to come before rational debate these days for many people. Frankly I feel it's the reason we have so many social problems as is. A lot of emphasis on feelings and being offended, not enough on tackling the topics that need to be addressed. No reflection on the moderators or admins of course, that's not their fault.
If one thinks that there is a lot of sniping and bad vibes going on here, then they should get on some of the other sites like OKCupid, POF, Facebook, etc, etc.... in many of those other sites there are constant, I mean constant flame wars, cliques, and members ganging up on other members, etc.... and an intolerant attitude in many of their postings.
As I had stated in my previous comment near the beginning of this thread, like so many others, I find that Susan's is a safe and friendly place for transgenders and others like minded individuals.
Wherever we go in life there will always be those that do their best to ruin things for the majority. I will leave it to Susan's terrific MODERATORS and ADMINISTRATORS to continue doing the wonderful job they are doing to keep this place safe, friendly and a nice place for us to be to exchange and share our ideas, suggestions and information regarding our life's transitioning journey.
Aspiringperson
While my jibbing may seem a little odd at times, it's never intended to be an insult and just my weird humor. If I should ever every insult someone unintentionally I apologize.
Of course, the exception would be all the super beautiful ladies here that drive me crazy with envy. :)
The vibe here is pretty chill, which I prefer. On other forums, where the vibe is less chill, I can end up getting pretty venomous, which I don't like. Knowing this place is kind, safe, and supportive helps me to curb my worst instincts.
Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk
Sometimes my male persona makes a return. I have to remind myself that I am not depressed anymore. I was a confused male for 64 years. I made the late transition because I was seeing courageous teens like Jazz Jennings and I envied them.. What if, has never been far from my mind. In the last two years I have been introduced to many just as courageous young people. Some people I have met here that are a little naive but not for a bad reason. I have been naive most my life. I never intend to denigrate anyone but sometimes the lack of social skills gets the best of me. I have to admit that finding Susan's is a Godsend. I would want any number of you for friends because of your caring, nurturing manner. I have to admit I am a political animal and have spent the last three years warning people of the dangers ahead which in some areas fell on deaf ears. Sometimes my Facebook meme's make their way into my comments. I am still trying to control my ego. Yeah,I have one but it is taking up less and less space in my thinking. I want success for everyone. I want to give back to the many, many people that have given me so much. Love to all.
My 10 year anniversary is coming up of registering here, and while I'm not here all the time, it seems the same now as it was when I joined. In terms of the attitudes of people who use the site and the posts made. On the whole I haven't noticed any drastic difference in there being more trolls, or folks just out to cause trouble.
I think that the number of people who are there to help others, to provide that feeling of family and support, or to ask questions out of genuine curiosity is as much the vast majority now as it ever was.
Hello Warlockmaker, I have only been on this site for a bit under two years but have noticed shifts in styles as people come and go. At times there seems to be more harshness or less forgiveness than others but overall I feel this to be a safe and comfortable place to grow in. I am older and do not have many connections in the cyber world so I am probably pretty ignorant of what could be considered common behavior. That said, I am surprised that this site can be kept as civil and supportive as it is. This thought emanates from where so many of us are or were coming from when we first arrive. The amount of stress and chaos found in our lives as our inner needs drive us to major changes in our expression and identity is so hard to keep in control. In many ways, each of our journeys comes frightfully close to howling lunacy (at least in my case) from time to time that maintaining civility is difficult if not impossible. This has to be a statement of the quality of work from our moderators and administrators that we are not biting each others heads off all the time.
By the way, I have often enjoyed reading your postings. Your thoughts and inputs, being further along in your journey, along with the distinct cultural perspectives have always been beneficial. I miss reading through and pondering your inputs for a while, I hope that you will continue to give us snapshots of where your journey continues to take you.
Tia Anne
I agree Warlockmaker; you seem like a really nice person, very warm-hearted, open, sincere, and friendly; and I appreciate your attitude of accepting our trans identities, there is nothing wrong with being trans, we are who we are, and self acceptance is the key to happiness.
I must agree with the general sentiment that this is a wonderful safe and caring place while there have been a very few people who were quite snarky i find they do not stay around long as few take their bait I looked around the internet for quite a while looking for good support sites with out a lot of conflict as I do not deal with conflict well due to being in a very abusive marriage up until 14 years ago this is one of only two i found that were not confrontational but rather supportive in almost all situations so this is a very rare and precious place
bobbisue :)
I've only been here since October 2016. In that time I've seen people come and go. Overall everyone is really supportive and helpful to others. Sometimes tempers flare. Overall the members try to stay civil. Sometimes it seems kind of sad not seeing names you get used to for a while but I also tend to float away from here and gravitate back.
I find this forum to be one of the most welcoming and supportive places on all of the internet. You guys are the best.
Quote from: PollyQMcLovely on March 05, 2018, 09:20:48 PM
I find this forum to be one of the most welcoming and supportive places on all of the internet. You guys are the best.
AGREED !!!!!
Quote from: Susan on March 05, 2018, 03:42:23 AM
Non-stop since late 1995. Got the susans.org domain in 1996. :) We have no plans on going anywhere!
Anyone other than me remember the old compu.net/ts site that existed pre-susans.org? Was the same site but before the domain. Boo the wayback machine doesn't have it in their archive...
I remember dial-in BBS's, Usenet forums, and Compuserve TS forums long before the Web. I can't remember the names of any of them, and the machines I downloaded to are long gone. Sometimes I wish I could look back at some of that stuff, but I've got enough to do as I finally move forward, and revisiting those times would probably just bring back all the fear, confusion, and shame. It's all in the past now, where it needs to stay.
- Stephanie
Quote from: PollyQMcLovely on March 05, 2018, 09:20:48 PM
I find this forum to be one of the most welcoming and supportive places on all of the internet.
I wish I could say that was true for me. Susan's (rightly) attracts a cross section of mostly north american people and as such necessarily reflects a pretty broad array of trans people; trans identity doesn't discriminate wrt political or social outlook, race, creed etc.
I live in the radical, activist wing of the trans house and as such my views (which run closer to those of borenstein, claifia or serano than say jenner) are absolutely intersectional, feminist and queer. Also while I've only undertaken medical transition in the last 3 years, I've been transitioning and living as mostly out and functionally lesbian in my personal life for 20 years.
So when I interact with people who are just coming out, who may be hetero-normative or fail to see things in terms of privilege ... Well sometimes I don't feel all that accepted. That's in marked contrast to my real life in which I spend most of my time among 20-30 year olds, living and working in Cambridge ma which has.to be one of the most accepting places in the US.
More than half of the people I interact with daily are in one way or another queer and 99.5% of the rest are fully accepting of lgbtq identities. I'm lucky and privileged in this and remember that pretty much daily.
And yet in my real life I have to seek out safe space, queer and activist spaces that are guaranteed to be safe and respectful are just different. I need these spaces and time with my support networks to recharge because a world that's 50% queer is still predominantly cis or hetero.
And then I come here, a space that tries pretty hard to be safe and welcoming. And yet there are routine denials of fundamentals of feminism and of lgbtq activism as I understand them. In my idea of safe lgbtq space the concepts of post structuralism, queer theory etc are a shared basis of understanding. I don't get that here, nor do I expect it.
All of the above notwithstanding, I'm entirely on board with this:
Quote
You guys are the best.
I don't actually need to be understood to feel accepted and I've made some truly close friendships here with people who make me feel both understood.and accepted.
OP, I was a Susan's member in '99-00 and I remember a ton of sniping between prevalent and often antagonist views of transitioning women vs cross dressers vs nonbinary folks (who were a brand new phenomenon then).
Deciding that my path didn't match any of the above (i was femme, lesbian, non transitioning transexual) I left because the arguments weren't interesting and I'd found the sisters I needed who did understand, value and validate my path.
For better or worse, transition is a time that's often fraught with conflict. People come here usually in conflict in their real lives, spouses, social circles and looking for answers. Transition by it's nature is imx not an easy time and can be incredibly stressful.
And so to answer your question, compared to 20 years ago, yes, attitudes have changed. Compared to 5, I couldn't say, I was spending that time grappling.with accepting my need to transition via hrt and GCS.
I started lurking here almost 4 years ago, and to my memory, it seemed like there was more negativity at the time. Specifically, I remember a few posts where someone would tell others the "right way to be trans." For example, if you weren't suicidal, you weren't trans enough. This was when I first started coming here and perhaps I'm mistaken and it was another website, but this was pretty much the only one I've ever visited. It seemed like the attitudes got a lot better sometime within the first year that I came here. I'm pretty happy with this site!
Daisy Jane, in the couple of years I've been back, I agree that's a trend. Over the span of my earlier experience that's a far more succinct statement of what's different than mine above :-).
🏳️🌈🏳️🌈
I haven't been very active lately, so I don't have a strong sense of the present atmosphere, but to me it still seems very support group like. However, I can't tell if this because there's the same percentage of members restraining themselves, or if the moderators have been busier lately.
If it's because there's a higher percentage of members expressing themselves beyond the scope of a support group, on one hand, I think this could be a good sign, so long as it's productive (i.e. more productive than most internet discourse), because I hope that eventually transgender people won't need support groups, but on the other, since I think we'll still need support groups for some time, I'm sorry if some of you are feeling a stifling degree of conflict creeping in. Maybe more spaces for transgender people will be established and it will be siphoned away.
I'm not active in my local trans community, but I do enjoy interacting with other trans people and sharing my thoughts and experiences.
Quote from: kitchentablepotpourri on March 13, 2018, 11:28:39 AM
I'm not active in my local trans community, but I do enjoy interacting with other trans people and sharing my thoughts and experiences.
@ kitchentablepotpourri: What you stated is exactly what this site is all about... sharing thoughts and experiences. If all the members here do that, then we help each other, encourage each other, edify each other and generally this allows a healthy give and take providing support, suggestions, and transition information for the newbies and old-timers alike.
I have been full-time for almost a year and a half and I still enjoy reading about others experiences... perhaps they are just beginning their transition or maybe they have been full-time for 20 years.... no matter where we are in our transition journey we can still learn a trick or two and also share our story.
Thank you for your posting....
....and by the way, your
Avatar Profile Picture is terrific... you look wonderful and is quite lovely too!
Danielle
Here are my thoughts....
This thread began as a possible discussion about how some of the members of this site have sometimes became "less than cordial and perhaps caustic" in their postings with other members as compared to the past.
Anywhere you go, any site, any interaction in real life or on line with others... this kind of thing is not a new thing.... there will always be unpleasant and disagreeable people wherever you go...
The Susan's site is no exception BUT the Moderators and Administrators here are doing a superb and impeccable job of keeping this place with it's members... friendly, cordial, and respectful. There will always be trash to be taken out but frankly this is very rare here thanks to the one's that oversee this place.
In my opinion, Susan's is getting better and better over time.... new members coming in are always welcomed with open arms. Members here offer encouragement, testimonials, and suggestions and they are also open to receiving the same.
For us trans folks, there is no better place to be !!!!!
Hugs to all,
Danielle
Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on March 13, 2018, 11:39:58 AM
@ kitchentablepotpourri: What you stated is exactly what this site is all about... sharing thoughts and experiences. If all the members here do that, then we help each other, encourage each other, edify each other and generally this allows a healthy give and take providing support, suggestions, and transition information for the newbies and old-timers alike.
I have been full-time for almost a year and a half and I still enjoy reading about others experiences... perhaps they are just beginning their transition or maybe they have been full-time for 20 years.... no matter where we are in our transition journey we can still learn a trick or two and also share our story.
Thank you for your posting....
....and by the way, your Avatar Profile Picture is terrific... you look wonderful and is quite lovely too!
Danielle
I started my transition journey in 1998, but I wasn't able to go full time until 2007. I have learned a lot about myself during that time, and I also have gained a lot of knowledge about the transition process (e.g., voice, deportment, various surgeries [personal experiences as well as research], electrolysis, transitioning in the workplace, planning a transition timetable, etc.); And I try to share some insight when I can. Sometimes I read posts by people just beginning their journey, and it brings back memories of similar mistakes that I made early on, so I try to gently nudge them with a well meaning comment, because I would like to help them avoid some painful experiences, but the truth is that even a well planned transition is still a calculated risk filled with obstacles (and awesomeness!), so no matter what advice we get we still have to make our own mistakes in order to learn and grow.
And thanks for the compliment Danielle. I like your avatar also, you look very pretty😊
I've been a member here for almost a year. I've found this site extremely helpful. I've only had one regular member who really dislikes me here. There are probably more but they don't show it. Lol. Before I found this site I had joined transgenderdate.com. I wasn't looking for dates but that site does have a blog section where members discuss trans issues. I have to say that that site is cut throat! There is no moderation and those women regularly attack and misgender each other as well as attack and make fun of the less passable members. If my dad hadn't made me delete my account on there I would have anyway. I know the people here often find the moderation really strict , and I do myself at times, but I would rather have strict moderation than none. People here do clash and squabble but put any people in a group and that's going to happen. We all have our own opinions and views about things. When I first joined I noticed a substantial age difference and I wondered if I would be especially welcome here. But I've met a lot of people here I consider friends.
Quote from: Mariah on March 04, 2018, 11:00:24 PM
Not everyone has those same aspirations though and it is important to remember that. I can understand what you want and that is fantastic for all, however others just want to live their lives and leave this part of their life behind without having to be defined by it. I have chances to get involved in those ways and for my own safety I choose not to considering my safety is more important than making progress for everyone at this point. Until things improve in this and other countries I will remain on the sidelines for my own safety. I rather blend in and just live than advocate at this time. Just my two cents. Hugs
Mariah
I too have chosen to "just live my life" for many years now. Fully transitioned m/f about 8-9 years ago. I joined up here to just watch and see if there is anything said that I may opine on in a positive way, or someone may seek me out for sharing of experiences etc... .
I always remember a story I picked up during TG counseling or 12 step or somewhere... Short version :
I went a long and arduous journey in my life (transitioning), crossing a vast desert to get to a place of love and fulfillment and acceptance. I almost gave up in defeat and exhaustion from the tears and pain and fight. Then I heard a laughing and singing, and saw in the distance trees and heard the music and laughter louder. Crawling along I made it to a place where only TG folks were present, and all supported each other and it was a safe and warm and friendly place. I made it to my destination...but WAIT...this was NOT my destination...and as the days turned to weeks and weeks to months....I realized I HAD to leave the comfort of this oasis in the desert of transition...and continue my journey to my destination OUTSIDE of the oasis. In the reality we call life, with all it's dark and not so loving folks around, as well as friends in the TG world. I could not live in the oasis of a closed TG community. I had to live my life NOT defined by my TG experience, but as myself. So I did. end of story
hth
J
I found Susan's at my darkest hour. I was doubting well.. just about everything. I found the courage to deal with the underlying issues that have caused me problems for decades. I think its an awesome resource to have, and I'm sure its encouraged many people who may not have had the courage to look inside and let out the real person. If some people seem to be negative its a reflection on the fact that being trans and accepting the need to transition is one of the hardest things you could every do.
Quote from: Julia1996 on March 13, 2018, 01:17:57 PM
I've been a member here for almost a year. I've found this site extremely helpful. I've only had one regular member who really dislikes me here. There are probably more but they don't show it. Lol. Before I found this site I had joined transgenderdate.com. I wasn't looking for dates but that site does have a blog section where members discuss trans issues. I have to say that that site is cut throat! There is no moderation and those women regularly attack and misgender each other as well as attack and make fun of the less passable members. If my dad hadn't made me delete my account on there I would have anyway. I know the people here often find the moderation really strict , and I do myself at times, but I would rather have strict moderation than none. People here do clash and squabble but put any people in a group and that's going to happen. We all have our own opinions and views about things. When I first joined I noticed a substantial age difference and I wondered if I would be especially welcome here. But I've met a lot of people here I consider friends.
You've mentioned before that you think I dislike you. I don't. It takes a lot to make me not like someone, even if they call me a man. ;)
I think what you are interpreting as dislike is simply being called out on something you said. I think you're young and lack experience in life, but I don't dislike you. I think you put your foot in your mouth sometimes, but I don't dislike you. I think you make fun of other people too much when you should know better, but I don't dislike you.
When I comment, it's to help you, others, and myself with self improvement. :)
Hugs, Devlyn
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on March 13, 2018, 05:32:42 PM
You've mentioned before that you think I dislike you. I don't. It takes a lot to make me not like someone, even if they call me a man. ;)
I think what you are interpreting as dislike is simply being called out on something you said. I think you're young and lack experience in life, but I don't dislike you. I think you put your foot in your mouth sometimes, but I don't dislike you. I think you make fun of other people too much when you should know better, but I don't dislike you.
When I comment, it's to help you, others, and myself with self improvement. :)
Hugs, Devlyn
I believe the Devyl is telling the truth and doesn't forget anything - case in mind, I slipped up and used two very dirty words with put together, "Crystal Light" and the Devyl hasn't spoken to me since.
And I'm truly sure that there's no one here that dislikes you. How could they? You're sweet, comical, and smart. That and the fact that you can shoot lasers out of your eyes would make sure no one would even think of not liking you!
I like it here. I'm usually trying to kill time especially when I can't sleep- even after taking my progesterone. Especially after taking my hrt! I just feel my transness draws me here every time [emoji4]
Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk
Quote from: Allison S on March 14, 2018, 12:02:42 AM
I like it here. I'm usually trying to kill time especially when I can't sleep- even after taking my progesterone. Especially after taking my hrt! I just feel my transness draws me here every time [emoji4]
Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xg_y7X5y2BI
Regarding the OP; I have no idea of the numbers, but I'm guessing that traffic and active member volumes on Susan's have increased heavily in the last 5 years?
Contentious posts always draw more attention, so it may just be damn statistics at play.
I think also that members expectations have changed, not of the forum, but in life, and we bring that attitude (not a bad one imo) here.
Just my feelings on the matter [emoji4]
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
Quote from: Allison S on March 14, 2018, 12:02:42 AM
I like it here. I'm usually trying to kill time especially when I can't sleep- even after taking my progesterone. Especially after taking my hrt! I just feel my transness draws me here every time [emoji4]
Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk
Haha me too!
Just being on here helps me confirm in my mind that I AM trans and I AM a girl and not just utterly messed up.
Being on here helped me a lot with that too. I hadn't been around transpeople or ever spoken to another trans girl and I felt like I was the only one who felt this way. Of course I knew about other trans people from the media but little enough that I thought being trans was extremely rare. After joining I found out its not that rare after all and that other trans women have the same worries and problems I do. That was extremely helpful for me.
Being trans has received a lot more attention in recent years, than it had when this forum started. It makes sense then that a whole variety of new members have arrived, and more variety means there will be posts looking for or testing boundaries, as well.
I've had only one incident with someone who put my boundaries to the test and I had to ask them to be more considerate, but other than that all the posts here (that I was participating in) have been friendly, even the ones discussing some difficult topics.
I assume this is also due to the activities of the moderators. However I agree with one of the previous posts, where it said that social media platforms like Facebook are far more unpleasant. I've seen many discussions there where rational judgement was just absent.
If I had to pick, I'd pick this site over any social media platform any day.
I've been on here about 3 yrs but lurked before that. I recently took about a month off for no particular reason, other than priorities. This place has helped me as it has so many others. 95% of the interactions have been wonderful.
I do think that society is becoming more tribal and that leads many to more extreme reactions in general. Social media, meant to bring us together has done that but also further divided us. Let's face it there are forces at work in this world that promote and benefit from divisiveness.
And no one wanted to experience seeing something grow?
Quote from: RobynD on March 14, 2018, 11:14:50 AM
I do think that society is becoming more tribal and that leads many to more extreme reactions in general. Social media, meant to bring us together has done that but also further divided us.
This has been a direct benefit to us. We can find others like ourselves and have our own community or tribe. Unfortunately bringing together some elements of society causes problems for everyone else.
I guess I've been here for 5 years now. Much of the time Susan's is my goto when I'm struggling with the world. I've bumped into the moderators a few times ;) but I understand the restraint. As others have said compared to the rest of the Internet's vitriol and hate, Susan's is nirvana.
One thing I notice every once and a while when I stumble on an old thread is that their did seem to be less understanding of differences between transgender people back then.
As for now, sure there's the odd dust up but I wouldn't say it's any worse now. I think these things ebb and flow but for most part don't last too long. The moderators do an amazing job.
Take care all,
Paige :)