Hi everyone. So last night my dad told Tyler and I he needed to talk to us and told us we have another sibling. It seems there was another pregnancy before Tyler and that child had been put up for adoption. He tracked my dad down and they talked and he wants to come to Denver next month and meet my dad and Tyler and I. His name is Brian and he lives in Ohio. My dad had gotten another girl pregnant before he met my mom and she put the baby up for adoption. Brian is 24. Since he's 2 years older than Tyler that means my dad got the girl pregnant when he was 15!! He said the girl was 17 when he got her pregnant.
He asked us if we were ok with Brian coming to meet us, which we are. It's kind of sad because he told my dad that the birth mother didn't want to meet him and wanted no further contact from him. I don't have a problem meeting him but I have to admit Im finding this situation weird. And I also can't believe my dad got someone pregnant when he was 15! Then he got my mom pregnant with Tyler when he was 17. He was a sexual menace when he was a teenager! Did they not have rubbers back then? What a little horndog he was. No wonder he gave Tyler a box of condoms when he was 12. But anyway, Tyler and I have an older brother. I do wonder what he's like. We will see what he thinks of us. If he happens to visit on a bad day he might run away screaming.
That's amazing Julia. I hope it goes well.
Paige :)
I hope so too. We will see what he thinks of me. My dad didn't tell him I'm albino or trans.
That is pretty neat, Julia.
About 10 years ago, my father gave me similar news, that I had a cousin I never knew about. Turns out his sister got pregnant 'way back, and gave the the child up for adoption. A year or so after my dad's sister died, he found an internet request from my cousin for information about his birth mother. It was too late for him to meet his mother, but he did get to meet his uncle (my father) and (the old) me and my brothers.
It was kind of cool, because we didn't have much in the way of living relatives. As soon as I saw his face, I recognized the family resemblance. He lives on a different continent, so he hasn't met the new me, but we are on Facebook and he and his wife are good with my transition.
Yeah, it's probably always a bit weird to find out you have a long lost sibling. I do too, 20 years younger than me. Never met her, but she knows of me. My dad just told her "the details" about the sister actually being a brother. I don't think he needed to, I mean it's not like she's gonna care that much about someone she's never met. He'd already told her before I told him about the transition and that, so there was no avoiding it. I'm not really concerned what she thinks and she's probably the same, it's just weird when someone has a pre-formed opinion of you based on the stories someone else has told them. If you're going to see this new sibling without any expectation, it'll probably be all right.
And so begins the next chapter of the book...."The Life of Julia"!
Soon to be in a theater near you!
Congrats!!!!!
Ever think of changing your name to Alice? Curiouser and curiouser!
Just kidding!
Cousin had the same thing happen.
Congrats! I hope everything goes fantastic. Sometimes these unexpected things are amazing.
I have 4 children with my ex-wife. About three years into our marriage I got a call from a woman who had picked me up before I was dating my ex-wife. Turns out she was married and going through a divorce and she wanted me to know that my name was going to possibly be coming up in her divorce case. Turns out her 4 year old daughter had a different father than her husband - me. Apparently there were able to settle the issues in the divorce and I was never mentioned. We were friendly with the woman (she's from my hometown and graduated high school the year before I moved there) and we always got to see my daughter and she got to meet her siblings. When she turned 13 she was told that I wasn't just a family friend but her biological father. She will be 32 this year and is a part of my family. To this day her dad doesn't know that he's not her biological father. It makes it a bit tough because we can't be friends on social media because she looks so much like me. I bet he would freak if he found out his daughter's actual father is a transwoman. All of my kids with my ex absolutely adore their older sister, and so do I.
Quote from: I Am Jess on March 09, 2018, 02:29:24 PM
Congrats! I hope everything goes fantastic. Sometimes these unexpected things are amazing.
I have 4 children with my ex-wife. About three years into our marriage I got a call from a woman who had picked me up before I was dating my ex-wife. Turns out she was married and going through a divorce and she wanted me to know that my name was going to possibly be coming up in her divorce case. Turns out her 4 year old daughter had a different father than her husband - me. Apparently there were able to settle the issues in the divorce and I was never mentioned. We were friendly with the woman (she's from my hometown and graduated high school the year before I moved there) and we always got to see my daughter and she got to meet her siblings. When she turned 13 she was told that I wasn't just a family friend but her biological father. She will be 32 this year and is a part of my family. To this day her dad doesn't know that he's not her biological father. It makes it a bit tough because we can't be friends on social media because she looks so much like me. I bet he would freak if he found out his daughter's actual father is a transwoman. All of my kids with my ex absolutely adore their older sister, and so do I.
OMJ - Oh My Jess, aren't you full of surprises :)
And that tongue! Definitely a KISS band member - well maybe Comrade KISS :)
Quote from: Julia1996 on March 09, 2018, 08:43:42 AM
I hope so too. We will see what he thinks of me. My dad didn't tell him I'm albino or trans.
He probably didn't tell him you have an awesome personality either.
Quote from: HappyMoni on March 09, 2018, 05:36:24 PM
He probably didn't tell him you have an awesome personality either.
And other devices!!!!!
Like x-ray eyes that she told her brother's GF about :)
I couldnt imagine what that would be like or you must be going through, i dont have any brothers or sisters, i dont know how i would cope if i had a brother or a sister all of a sudden
Good luck and i hope everything turns out ok
Quote from: Christy Lee on March 09, 2018, 05:42:57 PM
I couldnt imagine what that would be like or you must be going through, i dont have any brothers or sisters, i dont know how i would cope if i had a brother or a sister all of a sudden
Good luck and i hope everything turns out ok
Wow, never thought what it would be like if I had been an only child and later find out I wasn't.
I think my feeling would be anger that I had missed out on the connection for so many years.
And Chrissy,
I guess this as good a time as any but you need to know I'm your (Trans)sister! :)
Quote from: Cassi on March 09, 2018, 05:46:10 PM
Wow, never thought what it would be like if I had been an only child and later find out I wasn't.
I think my feeling would be anger that I had missed out on the connection for so many years.
And Chrissy,
I guess this as good a time as any but you need to know I'm your (Trans)sister! :)
Awww thanks, back at you :) *hugs*
Well, either your new brother will be more mature than Tyler, or they can have tickle fights.
I found my birth mother when I was 36. She accepted me, no matter what. My birth father had already died, so I never met him. My half brother and half sister are cool.
I had similar. My mom passed away from cancer 3 years before my grandmother told me and my 3 siblings that my mom had a girl with another fellow before she had us. She found us through grandma after going through the distant relatives out of town. She found the divorce document of her parents after taking her mother to a rest home and it listed one child, adopted. She did not know she was adopted. A further search of her mom's old letters, she found a letter from my mom wanting her back. My mom's handwriting had not changed since that letter was written until she died.
We did a meetup and all of the cousins and remaining aunts and uncles in town came to the party. Our aunts and uncles did know, but that was a family secret. We have been doing things together the 23+ years since. Camping, rafting down the Arkansas, holiday visits and other things. A DNA test confirmed her relation to us. She is using that to find her biological dad's family. My Boomer generation was indoctrinated differently than our parents. Shows like "Unsolved Mysteries" with the finding of long-lost siblings, kids or parents and those joyous reunions were watched by us. My aunts' and uncles' generation, that usually meant shame.
Joelene
Quote from: Lady Sarah on March 09, 2018, 07:00:44 PM
Well, either your new brother will be more mature than Tyler, or they can have tickle fights.
I found my birth mother when I was 36. She accepted me, no matter what. My birth father had already died, so I never met him. My half brother and half sister are cool.
Lol, Tristan was messing with Tyler about that. He told Tyler it was too bad for him that Brian was coming to visit. Tyler asked him why it was too bad and Tristan told him because Tyler seemed to enjoy his status as the older brother but since Brian was older he could kiss that goodbye and that he had just become the lowly middle brother. Then he told him he better hope Brian wasn't too nice because my dad and I might like him better. Then he told him my dad might even have him move in and if that happened he would give him Tyler's room and stick Tyler in the basement because the older brother always got the best room. He told him I probably wouldn't want to hang out with him any more but not to worry because he would hang out in the basement with him once in a while so he wouldn't get too lonely down there. Lol! 😂 Tyler just said " you've been around Julia too long dude because you're getting the same warped sense of humor she has." Lol.
Quote from: Julia1996 on March 10, 2018, 07:14:10 AM
Lol, Tristan was messing with Tyler about that. He told Tyler it was too bad for him that Brian was coming to visit. Tyler asked him why it was too bad and Tristan told him because Tyler seemed to enjoy his status as the older brother but since Brian was older he could kiss that goodbye and that he had just become the lowly middle brother. Then he told him he better hope Brian wasn't too nice because my dad and I might like him better. Then he told him my dad might even have him move in and if that happened he would give him Tyler's room and stick Tyler in the basement because the older brother always got the best room. He told him I probably wouldn't want to hang out with him any more but not to worry because he would hang out in the basement with him once in a while so he wouldn't get too lonely down there. Lol! 😂 Tyler just said " you've been around Julia too long dude because you're getting the same warped sense of humor she has." Lol.
I can relate to this. My youngest sister knows about Cassi and I guess the older sister does also. I've tried to contact the older sister for a few days now but she doesn't answer her phone. Since I'm the oldest of all the siblings I would become the older sister and I think she's not answering because she was demoted :(
Quote from: Julia1996 on March 10, 2018, 07:14:10 AM
Lol, Tristan was messing with Tyler about that. He told Tyler it was too bad for him that Brian was coming to visit. Tyler asked him why it was too bad and Tristan told him because Tyler seemed to enjoy his status as the older brother but since Brian was older he could kiss that goodbye and that he had just become the lowly middle brother. Then he told him he better hope Brian wasn't too nice because my dad and I might like him better. Then he told him my dad might even have him move in and if that happened he would give him Tyler's room and stick Tyler in the basement because the older brother always got the best room. He told him I probably wouldn't want to hang out with him any more but not to worry because he would hang out in the basement with him once in a while so he wouldn't get too lonely down there. Lol! 😂 Tyler just said " you've been around Julia too long dude because you're getting the same warped sense of humor she has." Lol.
This brings me back to my sister and I growing up. I can't tell you how many times we would tell each other that one was adopted. Especially in public. Friends would be "you are adopted? I never knew that."
Bari Jo
Quote from: Bari Jo on March 10, 2018, 02:59:04 PM
This brings me back to my sister and I growing up. I can't tell you how many times we would tell each other that one was adopted. Especially in public. Friends would be "you are adopted? I never knew that."
Bari Jo
Interesting, I'd swear I had heard that you were kidnapped by gypsies!
Brian was supposed to come visit us next month but my dad talked to him tonight and he wants to come this weekend. I guess he's anxious to meet his father. I will let you all know how it goes.
I can understand nerves getting to him. When I was planning my coming out message I had planned to post it on on National Coming Out Day. At some point I realized the stress of waiting was becoming too much of a burden and I decided to rip the band aid off right away.
I think it will be good for all of you. :)
Sounds like fun Julia! I hope he's a nice guy.
I hope it goes well!
Quote from: Julia1996 on March 14, 2018, 03:24:41 AM
Brian was supposed to come visit us next month but my dad talked to him tonight and he wants to come this weekend. I guess he's anxious to meet his father. I will let you all know how it goes.
If things go bad, just lock him up in the closet.
Then, when you let him out, you can tell everyone he just came out of the closet!
Not even my brother, and I'm giddy with excitement! Probably because there is bound to be a story that shows up about it in the near future.
I met Brian and it went very well. He's really sweet. He didn't get scared away meeting us Lol. Though he was very defensive at first, Tyler liked him too. Tyler was concerned about Brian possibly being a Dick towards me and had made the comment that he better not say anything mean or inappropriate to me. He didn't at all. He wasn't shocked over my albinism and didn't stare or anything. The only thing he was curious about was how Tyler wasn't born albino as well but after I explained the 50% chance that he could have been he didn't say anything else about it. Since he's family I decided to just tell him Im trans and get it out of the way. He got quiet and then said if that's what I needed to do to be happy then that was fine with him. He asked when I planned to start hormones and I told him I had been on hrt for 3 years. Then he looked totally confused. I didn't understand why but my dad got it. He told Brian I was male to female. He thought I was going to be FtM. Lol! So then he had a lot of questions but they were all respectful. He didn't seem to have any problems with me being trans. The only comment he made was that I was very pretty and that he couldn't picture me having been a boy at all.
He told my dad he wasn't what he was expecting. He said he had an idea of him as looking older with the beginnings of a dad body. Lol. He asked my dad and Tyler if they lived at the gym and said they made him feel kind of inadequate and that he could picture them stuffing him in a locker back in high school. Lol. Brian is about 5'8 and he's just an average guy. Not skinny but not jacked either. He asked my dad if he had fed Tyler growth hormones and raw meat when he was growing up. Lol! I was glad to find out he has a good sense of humor. His visit went very well I'm happy to report.
Very happy fro you Julia! A lot of us have been worried about you and keeping our fingers crossed for a pleasant weekend.
He seems to be a pretty nice guy from your description. Glad you have been able to welcome him in your family.
Julia, I am so happy for you! Your long lost brother sounds like a very nice guy.
Hugs, Jess
Lol, sounds like he ended up with a bunch of surprises all around. I'm happy to hear everything went well for all of you.
Sounds good Julia!
Chrissy
That's Awesome Julia! Great news. :)
Hugz,
Chelsea
Quote from: Julia1996 on March 20, 2018, 08:42:49 AM
I met Brian and it went very well. He's really sweet. He didn't get scared away meeting us Lol. Though he was very defensive at first, Tyler liked him too. Tyler was concerned about Brian possibly being a Dick towards me and had made the comment that he better not say anything mean or inappropriate to me. He didn't at all. He wasn't shocked over my albinism and didn't stare or anything. The only thing he was curious about was how Tyler wasn't born albino as well but after I explained the 50% chance that he could have been he didn't say anything else about it. Since he's family I decided to just tell him Im trans and get it out of the way. He got quiet and then said if that's what I needed to do to be happy then that was fine with him. He asked when I planned to start hormones and I told him I had been on hrt for 3 years. Then he looked totally confused. I didn't understand why but my dad got it. He told Brian I was male to female. He thought I was going to be FtM. Lol! So then he had a lot of questions but they were all respectful. He didn't seem to have any problems with me being trans. The only comment he made was that I was very pretty and that he couldn't picture me having been a boy at all.
He told my dad he wasn't what he was expecting. He said he had an idea of him as looking older with the beginnings of a dad body. Lol. He asked my dad and Tyler if they lived at the gym and said they made him feel kind of inadequate and that he could picture them stuffing him in a locker back in high school. Lol. Brian is about 5'8 and he's just an average guy. Not skinny but not jacked either. He asked my dad if he had fed Tyler growth hormones and raw meat when he was growing up. Lol! I was glad to find out he has a good sense of humor. His visit went very well I'm happy to report.
That's good. Glad to hear it.
Amazing! I'm so happy for you. You know you've made it when you tell people you are trans and they say "Why would you want to change, you're such a pretty girl..."
Sounds like a great guy Julia. Glad it went well :)
Paige :)
So happy everything went well :)
Julia,
Did he look like anyone in his face? Resemble your Dad at all?
Moni
Quote from: HappyMoni on March 20, 2018, 03:57:22 PM
Julia,
Did he look like anyone in his face? Resemble your Dad at all?
Moni
Yes he did. He looked a lot like my dad. He even has my dad's wavy hair. That's nice considering I got gypped with stick straight hair. Lol
Quote from: Julia1996 on March 20, 2018, 08:42:49 AM
I met Brian and it went very well. He's really sweet. He didn't get scared away meeting us Lol. Though he was very defensive at first, Tyler liked him too. Tyler was concerned about Brian possibly being a Dick towards me and had made the comment that he better not say anything mean or inappropriate to me. He didn't at all. He wasn't shocked over my albinism and didn't stare or anything. The only thing he was curious about was how Tyler wasn't born albino as well but after I explained the 50% chance that he could have been he didn't say anything else about it. Since he's family I decided to just tell him Im trans and get it out of the way. He got quiet and then said if that's what I needed to do to be happy then that was fine with him. He asked when I planned to start hormones and I told him I had been on hrt for 3 years. Then he looked totally confused. I didn't understand why but my dad got it. He told Brian I was male to female. He thought I was going to be FtM. Lol! So then he had a lot of questions but they were all respectful. He didn't seem to have any problems with me being trans. The only comment he made was that I was very pretty and that he couldn't picture me having been a boy at all.
He told my dad he wasn't what he was expecting. He said he had an idea of him as looking older with the beginnings of a dad body. Lol. He asked my dad and Tyler if they lived at the gym and said they made him feel kind of inadequate and that he could picture them stuffing him in a locker back in high school. Lol. Brian is about 5'8 and he's just an average guy. Not skinny but not jacked either. He asked my dad if he had fed Tyler growth hormones and raw meat when he was growing up. Lol! I was glad to find out he has a good sense of humor. His visit went very well I'm happy to report.
1. I'm glad that it went well. Seems like you have another sweet and caring brother. That's awesome!
2. It sounds like you are surrounded by HOT MEN in your house. Jeez. I'm jealous lol.
Quote from: Charlie Nicki on March 20, 2018, 04:14:15 PM
1. I'm glad that it went well. Seems like you have another sweet and caring brother. That's awesome!
2. It sounds like you are surrounded by HOT MEN in your house. Jeez. I'm jealous lol.
Lol, Tristan, Tyler and my dad are all gym rats and all of them are jacked . Tristan is 6'5, Tyler is 6'4 and my dad is 6'2. Then there is Brian. He's only 5'8 and thin/average. He's handsome but he wears glasses and kind of has a nerd look going on. No wonder he felt a little inadequate. Lol. But its nice to have an average family member who doesn't tower over me. 😊
Quote from: Julia1996 on March 20, 2018, 04:37:59 PM
Lol, Tristan, Tyler and my dad are all gym rats and all of them are jacked . Tristan is 6'5, Tyler is 6'4 and my dad is 6'2. Then there is Brian. He's only 5'8 and thin/average. He's handsome but he wears glasses and kind of has a nerd look going on. No wonder he felt a little inadequate. Lol. But its nice to have an average family member who doesn't tower over me. 😊
Bodies flab out at some point. Intelligence grows!!! Go Nerd!!!!!
(not telling you to go with your half-bro, just Nerds like your BF, lol).
And the old story goes that Winchell Donuts closed down due to lack of police visitation. Fact is that once inmates were given equipment, they were pumping up so in return cops started pumping up to match the threat. However, almost 95% of cops I know who have retired now have a spare tire :)
Quote from: Cassi on March 20, 2018, 04:40:59 PM
Bodies flab out at some point. Intelligence grows!!! Go Nerd!!!!!
(not telling you to go with your half-bro, just Nerds like your BF, lol).
Tristan isn't really nerdy in general. But if he has on his glasses and has his nose in one of his comic books he becomes that way. Kind of like a nerd who got into the steroids. Lol
aw, great! I'm happy everything went smoothly!
Quote from: Julia1996 on March 20, 2018, 04:37:59 PM
Lol, Tristan, Tyler and my dad are all gym rats and all of them are jacked . Tristan is 6'5, Tyler is 6'4 and my dad is 6'2. Then there is Brian. He's only 5'8 and thin/average. He's handsome but he wears glasses and kind of has a nerd look going on. No wonder he felt a little inadequate. Lol. But its nice to have an average family member who doesn't tower over me. 😊
Wow! You're the beauty among all those beasts :icon_chick: :eusa_dance: :icon_flower:
OMG just how did I miss this :o? ? ??!!!!!!
Awesome it went great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Any avarage looking guy would be scared to meet your family I think xD..! Wait till he meets Tristan :D!
That must be sooooo interesting to meet a 'missing' adopted family member!!! So weird meeting a complete stranger who after all looks like you and feels familiar. Are you gonna keep in touch :)? Will Tyler turn him into a gym rat as well xD?!
Quote from: PurpleWolf on March 20, 2018, 04:50:28 PM
OMG just how did I miss this :o? ? ??!!!!!!
Awesome it went great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Any avarage looking guy would be scared to meet your family I think xD..! Wait till he meets Tristan :D!
That must be sooooo interesting to meet a 'missing' adopted family member!!! So weird meeting a complete stranger who after all looks like you and feels familiar. Are you gonna keep in touch :)? Will Tyler turn him into a gym rat as well xD?!
He's going to be in Denver until Sunday so he will be coming over again. And my dad has tomorrow off so he and Brian are going to hang out, just the 2 of them. He hasn't met Tristan yet. He was at work when he came over. It was kind of weird meeting him but actually I think it was weirder for him. Lol. I wouldn't be surprised if Tyler tried to get him into working out but I hope not. I kind of like having an average relative. Lol
Quote from: Julia1996 on March 20, 2018, 05:00:24 PM
I kind of like having an average relative. Lol
Haha!
Does Brian have other siblings then? Do you think of him as your brother now? Or is it just so weird? Maybe the weirdest thing is your dad didn't tell you guys... That must've come as a shock to you!
Quote from: Charlie Nicki on March 20, 2018, 04:14:15 PM
1. I'm glad that it went well. Seems like you have another sweet and caring brother. That's awesome!
2. It sounds like you are surrounded by HOT MEN in your house. Jeez. I'm jealous lol.
Well I guess I do live with hot guys but Tristan is the only one I consider hot. My dad and brother are hot but I've never considered them as hot before. I had a friend who absolutely drooled over Tyler. Once she said I must enjoy looking at him. I told her no not really and that he was my brother and Ewww! She said if she had a hot brother she would enjoy looking at him. Then she asked me if I had ever seen Tyler naked! Ewww! I did see him naked once by accident and I went blind . It took a couple of days for my sight to return. Creepy and pervy much?! I wasn't friends with her long after that. I try not to judge too much but I just found that to be super creepy and weird. Just Ewww!
Quote from: PurpleWolf on March 20, 2018, 05:03:43 PM
Haha!
Does Brian have other siblings then? Do you think of him as your brother now? Or is it just so weird? Maybe the weirdest thing is your dad didn't tell you guys... That must've come as a shock to you!
No he doesn't have any other siblings. Yes, actually I do consider him my brother. I will never be nearly as close to him as I am with Tyler but I do want to get to know him. Yeah, it was kind of weird that my dad never told us. But I don't think he ever expected to hear from Brian. It was kind of a shock but I wasn't mad at my dad or anything for not telling us.
Quote from: Julia1996 on March 20, 2018, 04:37:59 PM
Lol, Tristan, Tyler and my dad are all gym rats and all of them are jacked . Tristan is 6'5, Tyler is 6'4 and my dad is 6'2. Then there is Brian. He's only 5'8 and thin/average. He's handsome but he wears glasses and kind of has a nerd look going on. No wonder he felt a little inadequate. Lol. But its nice to have an average family member who doesn't tower over me. 😊
Nerd look you say? :D
Really, I'm so glad it went well. I think there's just something in your family's genes that makes you all such good people.
I'm so happy it went well!
I hope you guys get to make it somewhat regular in the future.
Quote from: Artesia on March 20, 2018, 11:07:08 PM
I'm so happy it went well!
I hope you guys get to make it somewhat regular in the future.
I'm pretty sure Brian will do regular visits. I think he wanted a father. His adopted parents divorced when Brian was 7 and his dad took a job in Japan and Brian hasn't seen him since. It's a shame Brian didn't grow up with my dad. My dad is a very loving parent and he has always put Tyler and I before everything else. It's a shame Brian didn't get to experience that growing up.
Quote from: Julia1996 on March 20, 2018, 05:10:29 PM
Well I guess I do live with hot guys but Tristan is the only one I consider hot. My dad and brother are hot but I've never considered them as hot before. I had a friend who absolutely drooled over Tyler. Once she said I must enjoy looking at him. I told her no not really and that he was my brother and Ewww! She said if she had a hot brother she would enjoy looking at him. Then she asked me if I had ever seen Tyler naked! Ewww! I did see him naked once by accident and I went blind . It took a couple of days for my sight to return. Creepy and pervy much?! I wasn't friends with her long after that. I try not to judge too much but I just found that to be super creepy and weird. Just Ewww!
I know the feeling lol. My brother is also considered hot but that doesn't mean I would be attracted to him. Gross!!
Unless of course one is on that tv show called Another Period :) :laugh: