Hi all... I'm 61 and finally made the decision to transition via HRT. I've thought about it for years and decided that time is getting short and I shouldn't wait any longer for a chance to finally be at peace within myself. If all goes well I'll me going the informed consent route with PP in the next couple of weeks.
I'd be interest in any feedback from older girls...
Thanks,
Jade
I started when I was 58 and have had, in my view, some pretty awesome results so far.
Transitioning to female is a great hobby for a retired person! :)
Hi Jade, welcome to Susan's Place! I started estrogen supplements at 53, changed my name at 55, started HRT and had an orchi at 56.
Now I'm 29. :laugh: >:-)
See you around the site!
Hugs, Devlyn
Welcome to Susan's Place. While it's ideal to start your transition in your teens, most of the member on the site for one reason or another didn't. We have member in their 70s seeing good results from HRT. HRT isn't going to magically do everything, but if your transgender I think you will be pleased with the results. I transitioned much younger and after being off them for 10 years, I returned to them. I can see the changes they have made in my body and face just in the period of 2 years. Good luck and let us know if you have any more questions.
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Hi Jade 🙋♀️ Welcome to Susan's Place, I'm Jessica.
I myself started one year ago at age 61, and I've never felt better!
Started at a low dosage at 61, have been on a full dosage for over a year with some feminizing changes, transitioning with an FFS this coming november and full time at that point.
Still not dressing in public, but having an agreeable wife and daughter is well worth the delay, but it has been stressful
Emily
Thanks everyone for your kind and supportive comments. I sincerely appreciate it and I'm looking forward to starting the process!
Jade
And one more here. I started HRT at age 65 and GCS the next year.
At our age, I feel it is important to have your HRT prescribed and monitored by a qualified health care practitioner. Notice that I did not say Endocrinologist. For myself, I went to an Endocrinologist, but HRT is not overly complicated and many other doctors can supervise HRT just as well.
Transitioning in your mid 60's really depends on your general health status. Keep in mind that HRT is largely an elective therapy and we are at the age where people begin to die from chronic health conditions. If you are healthy, there should be little problem with HRT. However, if you have cardiac or pulmonary conditions, these are added complications. HRT can still be done, but should be monitored carefully.
Take care and be safe.
I am now 70 yrs old. Started hormones at 63. GRS at 67. We are blessed to live 2 lives in a lifetime.
Hi, Jade, and welcome.
I, too, started transitioning at 61. I started HRT at 62, and have been on it for a year and a half. The changes are amazing and are still happening. It is slow and you wonder if anything is happening at all, then one day you look in the mirror and don't recognize your lips or your eyes! The growth in my breasts is less than spectacular, but they are well within the plausible range for cis women, so I am not complaining.
I feel content with myself. I like who I am and how my life is going. I pass surprisingly well, and, if I sometimes get read as trans, no one minds.
My only regret is not starting years ago. But I am not big on regrets; I prefer looking forward.
Hi Jade and welcome to Susans,
I started 6 months ago at the age of 64.
I had peace within the first week as the testosterone withered away and I finally had control of "me".
I walk a lot to lose weight (5 miles a day) and to help reshape my body into a more feminine form.
Estrogen has caused my breasts to grow (I'm now a 38C) and my body is slowly reshaping.
I am currently stealth but am slowly coming out to key people in my life.
I see and feel the peace that coming out brings so don't hide too long.
Somehow, my wife and I seem to be closer than ever and that is one of my biggest blessings.
I could never stop HRT as it makes me "right" with myself.
I have no regrets and wouldn't change anything in my life.
Not even for starting late as I had to take this personal journey to make me the person I am now.
I finally really, really like this person that I am, and you will like the person you become too.
Love,
AJ
62 here, started HRT in early twenties and, while still "au natural" with no "surgeries", am happy considering "options".
Hello Jade
I had buried and reburied for so long and only took action when the dysphoria became so dominant; at 62 I sought therapy and afterwards was put on HRT.
Within days of starting in February I felt an inner sense of peace and later began to properly feel emotions. I have much less aggravation and I have a clear mind.
Physically my skin so much softer, my body hair grows slower and I have witnessed testicular reduction. Recently I have developed breast buds.
I feel I am finally on "the right fuel" - that's HRT to me! I am now confident of publicly transitioning when more physical changes occur.
I wish you every success on your HRT journey.
Hugs
Pamela
Quote from: Janes Groove on June 23, 2018, 03:29:35 PM
Transitioning to female is a great hobby for a retired person! :)
I am another that started to deal with my issues after 60. All I can do is low dose HRT due to medical issues, but this does help me feel better about being me. Yes, I am retired. I had not thought of transition as a hobby. Many people our age have buried our gender identity for decades and now can do a bit about it. One piece of advice I received that sort of applies is that now is the time to do what I can to become the real me.
Hi Jade,
I started HRT in 2016, just after I turned 60. All of my changes have been subtle, all the changes seem to progress slowly to me, while other people that I don't see on a regular basis have noticed changes over time, most can't articulate what in specific they noticed, just that "I'm looking more female" or "That I'm looking 'better'".
HRT changes are different for each person, I believe that the mental benefits are the most important. The physical changes vary much more dramatically person to person and the timeline is different for everyone.
The biggest changes mentally were (and still are) being more at peace with myself, more awareness of the full dynamic range of my senses; everything from the taste of food to a touch on my arm are all more vivid (e.g. I feel that I'm living in full color now), and my emotions are more dynamic (e.g tearing up during parts of a movie).
The physical changes for me have been mostly subdued. The most noticeable change for me has been muscle strength, I'm guessing that I have about 75% of my pre-HRT strength, when I'm at full exertion, no practical difference for all daily activities. Being large in frame (can you say barrel chested) and high in weight has always given my face a softer look, my cheeks do seem to be a bit more prominent and hollows of my cheeks a bit more defined now. I have always been careful about sun exposure on my face and being a geek in high tech had me working long hours in buildings with few windows. I had moobs from my excess weight (they didn't look like much on my 52" chest, [maybe an A cup] but were at equal or slightly greater in volume than my wife's 40 C breasts!. HRT did whip my nips into a sensitivity frenzy for a good nine months. Now it just happens ever couple of months for a week or so. After a year the firmness changed, but volume change was not really noticeable. At nearly two years of HRT, no noticeable change in derriere or hip padding, again, being heavy gave some padding already.
At the 1.25 year mark I had some FFS and a BA as my medical benefits that would cover these costs was ending. The FFS was focused on reducing my brow ridge and and orbital socket prominence. An eyebrow lift and an upper Blepharoplasty made a big improvements around my eyes, as I had drooping eyebrows and eyelids that rolled over. (often problems for people in there 60s). The BA really helped my both "feeling my body is right" and my confidence even though they are a bit less prominent than the forms I used for may years.
I'm happy to discuss my changes in more detail if you would like. Just send a PM
-Cindi
Maker of small troubles and giver of great Hugs
Love all the great comments! I made an appointment today to start the process... It's three weeks off, but I'm already excited to get started... and my mood is already better.
It'll be interesting to see where things stand at the end of the year. Besides starting HRT, I'm also embarking on a serious attempt to lose weight. I' 6'3" and currently at 266, my goal is to be down close to 200 the end of the year. I know that's a lot, and I probably won't achieve it 100%, but as I see it it's just part of creating a new me so the motivation is definitely there...
I'll keep everyone posted... with any luck I'll be on my prescriptions before the end of July. I'm in good health, so I don't expect any issues from the initial blood work.
Jade
Meds in October
62 last December and came out to my wife
Estrogen in January and full time in March and never happier
Hiya Jade, and welcome to Susan's!
Myself being 6-4, it's nice to have another tall girl here!
I'm 57, married, came out and went full time in January of this year (just went for it), then onto therapy in March and then HRT in April. I never expected much, and as others have pointed out YMMV, but at month-3 things are progressing just fab! I've been gendered correctly since the end of May, which initself is a huge boost, and can hardly wait to see what Santa brings me for Christmas!
Ain't life grand?
Good luck, and I look forward to reading of your progress. xx
It's really helpful to read all your positive comments... my appointment at PP is a week from today and I'm getting more anxious every day. Pretty sure I'll be a complete mess by next Wednesday (lol).
Less than 4 days to go before my appointment and my anxiousness is rising by the hour... Pretty clear that any serious weight loss is out the window for the next few days. I am soooo ready to get started.
Quote from: Jade88 on July 12, 2018, 02:13:03 PM
Less than 4 days to go before my appointment and my anxiousness is rising by the hour... Pretty clear that any serious weight loss is out the window for the next few days. I am soooo ready to get started.
Good luck. I am in my eight months on HRT and never feel better. This week one of my colleagues ask me do I have breasts. I said I am and she said wow.
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I've got 24 hours until my appointment at PP... trying to keep busy at work to keep my mind off of it... I'm going the PP informed consent route so it should be fine, but this will be the first time I've spoken with another human being face to face about my choice, so my nervousness on a scale of 1-10 is somewhere in the "infinity and beyond" range.
I've gone over it in my head how to explain it's the right thing to do... ranging from a long list of examples through my life, to as simple as "I just know who I am and want to be".
Wish me luck... if all goes well I'm hoping to start actual HRT in a few days.
Hi Jade!
It seems to be a popular age to begin transitioning at 60 through 62. I started transitioning last June at age 60. Started HRT August 2017. I am out to everyone now and just went full time last week. I see my terapist next month to begin my RLE, start the ball rolling for GCS next year and change all my legal documents. It's nice to know there are a lot of us older girls at Susan's.
Quote from: Jade88 on July 16, 2018, 10:16:29 AM
I've got 24 hours until my appointment at PP... trying to keep busy at work to keep my mind off of it... I'm going the PP informed consent route so it should be fine, but this will be the first time I've spoken with another human being face to face about my choice, so my nervousness on a scale of 1-10 is somewhere in the "infinity and beyond" range.
I've gone over it in my head how to explain it's the right thing to do... ranging from a long list of examples through my life, to as simple as "I just know who I am and want to be".
Wish me luck... if all goes well I'm hoping to start actual HRT in a few days.
You'll be fine Jade. Just be yourself. Your going to love HRT! Good Luck!
Hello Melanie Jean and Donica and all other older transitioners
Yes life is grand. Yes it is nice to see so many of us doing this at our age. We have waited so long!
Hello again Jade
Very best of luck for tomorrow 18th. I'm sure everything will be great tomorrow and thereafter.
Hugs and kisses to all
Pamela
Best of everything for you Jade. Be honest and be yourself with the doctor. You know inside you that this is right and you will love the journey. As another oldster transitioning I can only say it is the most amazing feeling ever. Go with it and see where your mind and body leads you.
Thanks for the encouragement - currently in the waiting room waiting to meet with the doctor... if they'd take my pulse right now they'd probably call an ambulance... lol
For 58 years I struggled with dysphoria. I didn't know the name for it at the time. I started out crossdressing but I knew it went deeper than that. Then I got sick with heart disease. It has always been with me but it was not until my late 30's that it reared it's ugly head and quelled any hope of transitioning. Then I found Susans and after some very encouraging advice from Dena, I decided to reveal that I am transgender. That was two years ago. I know I don't have any concerns like the youngsters as I already had a 40 year career. I also found that there was probably an external force that made me this way and it had to do with medications prescribed to my mother while I was in utero. Unlike the youngsters, I have been married for 35 years. My wife knew I crossdressed before we got married. I had lost my previous wife because I presume she had found evidence of my crossdressing. Back then transgender was not even a word. I prayed constantly that I would fall asleep and wake up a woman. I've resorted to using colored pencils as make-up when I was young. But a couple year ago I could not stand it any more. I was having a mental breakdown. Since then I have stabilized. I no longer suffer from mind bending depression. Being out and about with people in similar situations such as at my support groups has made me feel as if I finally have assimilated with my peers. I am getting more comfortable all the time. I am returning to therapy tomorrow actually to see what I can / should do to go full time. I still have not embraced going full time because I would hate to throw away a 35 year relationship with the mother of my children and the one person keeping me relatively sane. I get out two, three days a week where I get dressed and go to my meetings and other appointments. I always wear something to remind me that I am female in the brain, be it panties, or panty hose, or a non descript bracelet. I can say I have never been so sane and the anti depressants I was on, is not what I needed.
Update
Whewwww....... My appointment at PP went well! Prescription for Spiro is at the pharmacy and will be ready to pick up on my way home from work. I need to do some follow-up self-serve blood pressure checks to make sure I'm not as at risk for an immediate stroke as the numbers in the office said today... :) Assuming all goes well (and the blood work comes back ok), I'll be on E by the end of next week.
I'm not worried about that - I never test well in a medical setting and as I mentioned, my nervousness was spiking on multiple levels. Had a great time with the ladies there - feeling washed out and exhilarated at the same time.
Happy!
Yess!!! So great to hear this.
Quote from: Jade88 on July 17, 2018, 02:11:04 PM
Update
Whewwww....... My appointment at PP went well! Prescription for Spiro is at the pharmacy and will be ready to pick up on my way home from work. I need to do some follow-up self-serve blood pressure checks to make sure I'm not as at risk for an immediate stroke as the numbers in the office said today... :) Assuming all goes well (and the blood work comes back ok), I'll be on E by the end of next week.
I'm not worried about that - I never test well in a medical setting and as I mentioned, my nervousness was spiking on multiple levels. Had a great time with the ladies there - feeling washed out and exhilarated at the same time.
Happy!
Me too Jade! I take another blood pressure med as well as Spiro. When at rest, they probably couldn't tell I was alive lol. But when it comes to a doctor's appointment, my blood pressure goes way up. I'm glade to hear everything went well for you. It is a wonderful feeling. I left my Endo's office with a ear to ear grin all the way home on my first visit with her.
Hello Jade
Gosh I know exactly what you mean about your blood pressure going up.
I pretty much live in the bush of Upper Michigan and mine starts going up when the tires of my pickup hit a paved Road but really goes up when I go the 50 miles to my new doctor.
I've only seen her twice but she's really so cool and we had such good vibes that on my second visit my BP was near textbook, and then started.
I'm 56 years old have been with my wife for 38 years but really felt about a half a century of grinding dysphoria.
That seemed to manifest into real disorders like insomnia, anxiety depression etc.
My insomnia was absolutely horrific it's like paddling my canoe upriver against the Swift Current, that's extremely difficult and sometimes impossible
I only started HRT on July 5 th.
But on the last 3 nights I have had continuous sleep for 6 to 7 hours this is something I have not been able to obtain for decades.
It's like the inner conflict that has been going inside of me for so long is slowly disappearing.
But now I feel like I'm paddling my canoe Downstream with the current, flowing with the water instead of fighting against it.
Something is definitely starting even though I know it's at an early stage and Placebo and Psychology are definitely there too.
My wife also tells me that my skin feels a little smoother so the medication must be starting.
And also the cloud that's been in my head seems to be slowly dissipating resulting in me thinking a little clearer and also have a sense of calm well being that's developing, if this continues I can't even imagine how good I'm going to feel overtime.
As I hope you will too.
All the very best for your future
Love Tatiana
It's funny how we all suffer from white coat / lab coat syndrome. I can have a 116/70 at home and take the peaceful drive to the doctors and im 143/84 when she tests me. It can make you question your machine. Lol
Now I've had to change meds for BP due to a recall of contaminated product and I'm starting again from square one to get balanced. Screwed up BP is just what I need before Monday's injection and preop visit.
Glad your appointment went well for you and you will love the E
Quote from: Tatiana 79 on July 21, 2018, 07:12:04 AM
Something is definitely starting even though I know it's at an early stage and Placebo and Psychology are definitely there too.
My wife also tells me that my skin feels a little smoother so the medication must be starting.
And also the cloud that's been in my head seems to be slowly dissipating resulting in me thinking a little clearer and also have a sense of calm well being that's developing, if this continues I can't even imagine how good I'm going to feel overtime.
As I hope you will too.
All the very best for your future
Love Tatiana
Yes Tatiana the two examples you refer to are real. It is so remarkable that so early in the HRT regime, we experience the first physical sign - softer skin and the first emotional sign - mindfog starting to clear.
I am sure you'll enjoy HRT and more refreshing sleep aswell.
Love to you
Pamela
Thanks Pamela
For telling me that these feelings are truly real.
I know that both of us have repressed this for our previous lives but it is so good to know that all the things we hope for and dreamed about are now becoming reality.
Sometimes dreams do come true.
See ya, GF
And to Jade, sometimes all the build-up in our lives results in a bursting of new emotions and feelings that can seem to make it all the more better.
It's kind of like an old Dam that gets over flooded building up slowly then bursts open spewing its water into all the new areas of our life that we never experienced before, knowing that the water will be turbulent at first but will settle into inevitable equilibrium, comprable to our lives.
love Tatiana
I'm 54 and just starting. Still waiting on my doctor to prescribe my first dose of hormones though. Starting to get frustrated it's taking so long.
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Hang in there Lady Skylar
You've already waited all these years so what's really the short time you have to wait.
But saying that I felt as you do the anticipation when it really comes down to crunch time you want it now.
Your journey has already started in your head regardless of any medication.
But I do hope your journey will proceed and exceed any expectations you've had about it.
I have just maybe begun to start to feel the effects of HRT which were on July 5th but honestly they pale to what I have felt before I started anything merely through the self-realization that I could go on no longer with the little knowledge I acquired to lead to this.
I know that your Journeys already started and wish you find the path of least resistance to you reach your Final Destination.
all the best love Tatiana
Quote from: Dani on June 24, 2018, 06:12:27 AMHowever, if you have cardiac or pulmonary conditions, these are added complications. HRT can still be done, but should be monitored carefully.
HRT consisting of only bio-identical estradiol has been shown in recent years, in several studies, to be quite safe and even protect against the risk of DVT (i.e. patches) and cardiovascular risks, improving health rather than jeopardizing it. It also protects against bone loss, cognitive deterioration and slows down ageing. The risk of colon cancer appears to be reduced with estradiol and even perhaps, breast cancer.
It's crucial that you be monitored by a doctor who is **up-to-date** with the research and who can provide you with the best treatment for YOU.
Quote from: warlockmaker on June 24, 2018, 07:28:48 AM
I am now 70 yrs old. Started hormones at 63. GRS at 67. We are blessed to live 2 lives in a lifetime.
70?! Seriously?! I would say late 30s early 40s with your pic? Honestly... 70... really???!
Yes, quite astonishing. Bobbi (Warlockmaker) and others here in the 70+ age bracket are proof: what seems impossible actually is possible.
Quote from: Jade88 on June 23, 2018, 03:17:25 PM
Hi all... I'm 61 and finally made the decision to transition via HRT. I've thought about it for years and decided that time is getting short and I shouldn't wait any longer for a chance to finally be at peace within myself. If all goes well I'll me going the informed consent route with PP in the next couple of weeks.
I'd be interest in any feedback from older girls...
Thanks,
Jade
Hi Jade, 22 July 2018
Thought it a good time to jump onto your thread; Welcome to the greatest adventure of a lifetime. I'm just a young pup that started transition 08 March 2018 and HRT 27 March. Had my Orchie 13 April 2018 and am happier than I have ever been. I'm enjoying the physical and mental changes that continue to progress. My only regret is that I didn't do this many years ago. I am a bit over 30, like about 48 over in a few days.
The only time it's too late to start is when they are shoveling dirt onto our faces.
Have a great ride, enjoy life as who you really are and don't give a hoot for what anyone else thinks. It's your life, not theirs, and you have every right and obligation to be happy.
I do have one question: What does PP mean? I'm new to this so please excuse my ignorance.
Best Always, Love,
Christine
Primary physician.
Quote from: Donna on July 22, 2018, 03:49:39 PM
Primary physician.
Hi Donna, 22 July 2018
Thanks bunches; I never thought of that. Thought it was a British secret thing. I feel like the dolt that I am.
Best Always, All My Love,
Christine
Quote from: christinej78 on July 22, 2018, 04:03:24 PM
Hi Donna, 22 July 2018
Thanks bunches; I never thought of that. Thought it was a British secret thing. I feel like the dolt that I am.
Best Always, All My Love,
Christine
@christinej78Dear Christine:In the USA, the term that Private health insurance companies and Medicare use
for our General Practice Doctors or Family Doctors is
PCP ... i.e. Primary Care Physician.hugs,
Danielle cc: @Jade88 @Donna
Quote from: Lady Skylar on July 22, 2018, 06:33:01 PM
Is it Primary Physician or Planned Parenthood? I thought when they were writing PP in their comment they were actually referring to starting hrt the informed consent way through planned parenthood. Maybe I am wrong though.
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Planned Parenthood via informed consent. Sorry for not making that clear.
Jade
Quote from: KayXo on July 22, 2018, 08:59:18 AM
HRT consisting of only bio-identical estradiol has been shown in recent years, in several studies, to be quite safe and even protect against the risk of DVT (i.e. patches) and cardiovascular risks, improving health rather than jeopardizing it. It also protects against bone loss, cognitive deterioration and slows down ageing. The risk of colon cancer appears to be reduced with estradiol and even perhaps, breast cancer.
Thank you KayXo. You are so inspiring by your words and your knowledge. As an "oldie" on E patches and AA, there are so many potential advantages for me (and I am sure for others) in your list above.
Thank you so much for such uplifting comments.
Hugs
Pamela
57 here. Awaiting the call from the East Mississauga Family Health Center in Ontario, Canada. They suggested it should come in early August. I'm excited as the day approaches but I feel as though I don't have enough information. What do I need to know right away?(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180723/fa68462791b2e847b25e9b46802490da.jpg)
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Hey bdw61, Welcome aboard. I suggest knowing what you clearly do want and knowing what questions remain is critical. We do not need a full on plan for transition but it helps to recognize the challenges that bring us to medical providers for treatment. Most of us have experienced significant dysphoria that might lead to shame or worse. Being able to talk about your general direction is more important than wanting to have double D breasts? Transitioners need not involve the medical folks if it is primarily a social transition but if we are seeking HRT then knowing your past medical history is part of what they will ask of you. Treatment requires your informed consent and you will be given info about expectations and risks that include irreversible changes. It helped me have my wife present as someone who could also listen when i was feeling a bit overwhelmed with info and emotional. Many of us find things change as we make progress and our goals may change as well. Best of luck girl.
I've certainly been making the social transition. I am Brenda to many now. I had to finally own it and it's going well [emoji4](https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180723/b019512db44458b79c14e3bb7166733a.jpg)
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Well hello Brenda then! Don't wana derail this thread but I am way glad that you have Canadian health care and may not need to ask about what is or isn't covered?
It will be interesting, I'm sure
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Welcome Brenda and it will be very interesting
Big Smile
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What do they say about smoking? I've heard it's not such a good idea on HRT. I feel like such a babe in the woods...
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My docs recommend against it but I don't smoke anymore so no issue. Stopped drinking too as I don't want anything messing with my journey
Drinking had to go years ago. Smoking is hard to give up. I've tried and failed. I guess it might become necessary to quit. I'm already on a high blood pressure pill. I don't want anything to mess with my journey either
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Hi Brenda!
My Endo couldn't say it enough. Don't smoke!!! She says it will increase the risk of blood clots in the lungs and legs. There is a lot of info online about the risk of HRT and smoking, you may want to read. I quit smoking over a year ago, just before starting HRT. It still smells like filet mignon to me but my desire to transition is far stronger then the urge to smoke. It will get easer as time goes by. I don't even think about it anymore (unless I can smell it). Good luck.
Quote from: bdw61 on July 23, 2018, 09:03:41 PM
What do they say about smoking? I've heard it's not such a good idea on HRT. I feel like such a babe in the woods...
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I get my HRT prescription from a GP who has taken the WPATH training for transgender health. She only takes low-risk clients, and one of her stipulations is that you can't smoke or she won't accept you as a patient. Anyone else gets referred to an endo and a two-year wait.
Hello Brenda
Like Kathy I also get my meds from a GP.
My doctor told me that she wouldn't even consider anyone for HRT that smoked whatsoever. She also told me this was the biggest inhibiting Factor she seen keeping people from receiving HRT. and some people just can't quit and decide living smoking instead of receiving HRT. which is perfectly fine it's their choice.
They make those darn cigarettes so addicting with various chemicals to keep the money coming in from repeat customers.
It's very probable this decision might come down to you either quit smoking tobacco products or quit thinking about starting HRT.
I don't know your doctors exact criteria on this, this is a momentous decision in your life that you're the only one that can decide this.
Ultimately it's your body to decide what to do with.
If you want to start HRT more than smoking possibly this could provide the incentive and a pivot point in your life for a brand new healthier future.
I hope you Choose Wisely my friend.
all the best to your future
Love Tatiana
Thank you for the supportive message. Smoking has become outrageously expensive in recent times. This will also be a type of incentive for me to quit I think. I've finally got myself on a waiting list. I don't think I want to waste the opportunity to become the real me.
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Hello Brenda
I'm so happy for you and feel that you did Choose Wisely
And isn't choosing HRT and whatever might come beond that, is better than going back to your life with tobacco, absent any hope of freeing your inner identity and expressing it as you probably always dreamed of, better than smoking.
It sure isn't going to be an easy Road quitting tobacco products.
I think your vision of all the possibilities ahead of you, like a dream come true in a way to provide all the incentive you need to see your vision come true.
all the best to you I hope all your goals are achieved and then some.
Love Tatiana