Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html) | Standard Terms & Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html) | Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.) | Cautionary Note (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,82221.0.html) |
Reputation rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.0.html) | News posting & quoting guidelines (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,174951.0.html) | Photo, avatars, & signature images policy (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,59974.msg383866.html#msg383866) | Membership Agreement (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,216851.0.html) |
Quote from: Jessica_Rose on November 15, 2018, 08:22:56 PMThanks so much for your encouraging words!! I am encouraged by your words about how life is more fun living life as the person you were meant to be. I am excited about getting to know you and many others here at Susan's Place. I sure need some place to share my thoughts, but I also want to be encouraging to others.
I'm a bit younger, just a kid at 56. Your friends will stay by your side, those who leave were just acquaintances passing through your life. Yes we were all pretenders, but it was for self-preservation because of how we would have been treated decades ago -- coming out then could have cost us our lives. We did the best we could with the hand we were dealt, but the time comes when it is time to fold and get a fresh hand. It isn't easy, but it sure is a lot more fun living life as the person you were meant to be!
Love always -- Jessica Rose
Quote from: KathyLauren on November 15, 2018, 05:42:33 PMKathy, thanks so much for taking the time to respond to my post! You seem to have some wisdom for me. I am looking forward to getting to know you and others better in this journey that we are all on.
Hi, Marsha, and welcome!
I am 64, and I stopped pretending about two and a half years ago. Since then, life has been an adventure, but a very beautiful and fulfilling one.
Yes, we might lose some things and some people. I have been pleasantly surprised at how well those around me have accepted me. Sometimes out fears exaggerate a wee bit. But fears or not, ultimately you have to be real.
Quote from: V M on November 15, 2018, 04:57:43 PMThanks for the welcome! I am glad to be here!
Hi Marsha :icon_wave:
Welcome to Susan's Place :) Glad to have you here, join on in the fun
Hugs
V M
Quote from: Dietlind on November 15, 2018, 03:19:35 PMDietland, Thanks so much for taking the time to write me and share some of your heart. I really like the words you said concerning having nothing to hide. Being a pretender means hiding my true self. It will be great when the day comes when I be able to say with you that I have nothing to hide! I do hope that we will communicate again!
Hi Marsha, I am older than you, and have a few more years of experience as a pretender! I played my role very well, one of the more successful cross dressers I would say. Nobody would ever have any doubt that i was areal manly man (as a fried told me, after I came out to her). I am done with pretending now, because I want to live my last years as the person I was supposed to be! It is very liberating once one has come out, nothing bothers me anymore, because I have nothing to hide anymore. All my friends tell me I am now so much nicer to deal with. What else can one wish?
Good luck for you exciting and adventurous path into womanhood!
Quote from: Jessica on November 15, 2018, 02:54:32 PM
Hi Marsha 🙋♀️ Welcome to Susan's Place! I'm Jessica.
I'm 63 also and stopped pretending about a year and a half ago.
And Devlyn is so correct.
I see you're new here, so I'll post some links that may help you get better acquainted with the site. Pay attention to the site rules they can be of great help and don't forget the link highlighted red. It has answers to questions that are commonly asked. Then join in on a topic you find interesting and learn and share.
Jessica, thanks for taking the time to write. I did read your links and they were very helpful. It is encouraging to meet others here who around my age. It shows that transition is possible for me at my age! May you continue to keep well.
Quote from: Devlyn on November 15, 2018, 02:43:52 PMDevlyn, thanks so much for taking the time to greet me here. Yes, in some cultures being TG may be considered spiritual; however, not from my background. However, I do understand that I have a choice about continuing to be a pretender and be accepted or be real and not. I am tired of this pretending. Anyway, keep well!
Hi Marsha, welcome to Susan's Place! You know, in a lot of cultures we are considered spiritual. :)
Wise words delivered... see you around the site!
Hugs, Devlyn
Quote from: RealLacy on November 15, 2018, 10:15:48 PMOh Lacy, how can I thank you for sharing with me! It is hard enough to be TG, but to be a Christian it is that much more difficult to accept who I am. How did you reconcile your faith with your being TG? I have started to read your diary and I will comment on it. I am new here; so I don't know how we can communicate outside of the forum. It would be nice to share some of our insights and struggles from our faith perspective. I can see that you are quite new on this journey as well. Please know that you have a friend here. Thanks for your words of encouragement! *hugs*
Welcome Marsha!
I grew up in a conservative Christian home. My father is a pastor. I have served in just about every capacity available in several different denominations.
It was a challenging time and took me some deep searching to find how I can except the woman inside and still maintain my faith. They are both part of who I am.
People will disagree, disapprove and judge. The more important thing is how you feel. You can't be living free if you are trapped lying to yourself.
Wishing you the best!
Hugs,
Lacy
Quote from: MarshaJoy825 on November 15, 2018, 09:14:37 PMJust hang in there girl! We may be a little on the old side for wild disco nights (or they call those places clubs nowadays), but we can still have lots of fun as women. Just come out, be yourself and you don't need to pretend to have a great time, you for sure will have one!
Dietland, Thanks so much for taking the time to write me and share some of your heart. I really like the words you said concerning having nothing to hide. Being a pretender means hiding my true self. It will be great when the day comes when I be able to say with you that I have nothing to hide! I do hope that we will communicate again!
Quote from: MarshaJoy825 on November 16, 2018, 05:01:20 AMMy niece is a Methodist pastor, and she is one of my strongest supporters! Christianity and TG do not exclude each other. I am not a super strong Christian, but I am a believer, and I do not see any discrepancy between my Christianity and my gender!
but to be a Christian it is that much more difficult to accept who I am. How did you reconcile your faith with your being TG?
Quote from: Dietlind on November 16, 2018, 08:36:59 AM
Just hang in there girl! We may be a little on the old side for wild disco nights (or they call those places clubs nowadays), but we can still have lots of fun as women. Just come out, be yourself and you don't need to pretend to have a great time, you for sure will have one!
A group of us older girls go out tonight, and two young ones (mid 30) asked if the can come along because we are so much fun to be with (I am the only trans of the group). You, too, can join us any time!
Quote from: Dietlind on November 16, 2018, 08:36:59 AM
Dietlind, thanks so much for your kind words. Yes, to come out and by myself is great advice. I am so looking forward to seeing where my belated journey will take me. Perhaps, there will be a time in the future that I can take you up on your offer. Have a great day. With a hug, Marsha
Quote from: MarshaJoy825 on November 16, 2018, 05:01:20 AM
Oh Lacy, how can I thank you for sharing with me! It is hard enough to be TG, but to be a Christian it is that much more difficult to accept who I am. How did you reconcile your faith with your being TG? I have started to read your diary and I will comment on it. I am new here; so I don't know how we can communicate outside of the forum. It would be nice to share some of our insights and struggles from our faith perspective. I can see that you are quite new on this journey as well. Please know that you have a friend here. Thanks for your words of encouragement! *hugs*
Quote from: RealLacy on November 16, 2018, 11:21:50 AMThanks for the encouragement and I am looking forward to talking about faith and being transgendered. I have read much your diary. It has been a great read. It is interesting to see how you have interacted with your wife. I hope that we can be good friends and encouragers to one another. I will PM you when I hit the magic number of fifteen.
Sharing with others helps me also! Being able to talk to someone else who grew up in similar circumstances and hold similar beliefs can help confirm feelings and decisions. Much like this entire forum does for people questioning or struggling with their gender identity in any way!
I did a lot of studying before making the decision to transition, and always sat with my wife and helped her address her questions and concerns about what things mean. I would love to talk with you more and help answer any questions or concerns you may have. If not answer, than at least provide food for thought or possible studies for you to do personally.
I believe at 15 posts your PM feature will be activated. Message me and we can either talk through PM's or email!
Lacy
Quote from: MarshaJoy825 on November 16, 2018, 04:24:58 PM
Thanks for the encouragement and I am looking forward to talking about faith and being transgendered. I have read much your diary. It has been a great read. It is interesting to see how you have interacted with your wife. I hope that we can be good friends and encouragers to one another. I will PM you when I hit the magic number of fifteen.
Quote from: Tribble on March 18, 2019, 09:26:06 AM
I hope you're able to stop pretending and be as happy as you can be! :)
Quote from: AllazandraTelsar on March 31, 2019, 05:23:04 PM
Hi Marsha,
Thank you for for sharing, and for reaching out to me in my introduction. It helps to see that I'm not alone in being Transgender and Christian.
Blessing,
Alla
Quote from: MarshaJoy825 on April 03, 2019, 05:13:17 AMAs long as you don't mean the evangelical section of believers who have captured the word Christian for themselves, and are using it in an absolutely obnoxious way, as if all of us who were baptized and believe in God and Jesus Christ are nothing than a group of lost souls!
Alla,
Thank you so much for checking out my intro. As with all intros here, I could have written a book. I do hope we can keep in touch. I am kind of occupied for the next couple of days, but I do hope to private message you if you don't mind. I think it is good that we find support as Christians and being transgender at the same time. It is not the most easy journey to make. Have a great day! Hugs, Marsha
Quote from: Margrit on March 18, 2019, 09:53:22 AMMargrit, thanks so much for the kind words! I do hope that you are keeping well.
How very true, Tribble :)
That is what I am hoping for Marsha too.
Quote from: Tribble on March 18, 2019, 09:26:06 AMTribble,
Hi Marsha!
Faith seems to be a common theme among a lot of trans folk.
I, too, tried to fit faith into my life. I did not grow up in a religious household, whatsoever, as Easter for me was about decorating eggs and later finding them, as well as getting a pretty basket with a trinket in it. Christmas was about decorations and music and TV cartoons and, of course, presents!
Still, I prayed and prayed and prayed that I would one day wake up in a fully female body. Sadly, that never happened.
I always thought I was a great pretender early in life, but looking back at photos of me in my younger years I wonder how no one ever said anything to me. Later, I became very good at pretending. I was an atheist by this time, but even though I used the guise of a rocker as an excuse to grow my hair long, no one questioned my identity. I married an evangelical woman (interesting dynamics when it comes to an atheist and an evangelical Christian in a romantic relationship) and one day I simply broke down in bed with my wife. I hadn't cried in years and my wife noticed. I told her all about my real self. She was all for it at first, but it soon became too real to her when I talked about going full-time. Upon the very real possibility of losing her forever, I threw myself back into a deep, deep closet and joined her church. I was all-in. It became apparent that I did not fit there and people could not accept me, not because of my identity, which only the pastor knew, but because they couldn't seem to accept that I had never really been to church before and I didn't know all of the ins and outs. I will say that attending that church and trying my level best to rid myself of my trans-ness, I found myself praying to rid me of these feelings for the first time in my life rather than the other way around. Nothing seemed to help, and I really did have at least a mustard-seed-sized amount of faith at the time.
I'm sorry for you to say that I'm back to atheism, but I do know of a lot of trans men and women that have retained their faith. After transitioning, had I gone back to church (and I'd considered it), it would have been at the church that my parents tried to attend a few times when I was a child that eventually became led by an FtM trans pastor.
Surprisingly, most of my extended family is rather religious and almost all of them have been my strongest supporters, even if I couldn't hold that faith, myself. My ex's family, friends, and church never would have accepted me, but my family sure has other than a couple of hyper-masculine hold-outs.
I hope you're able to live your true life. It's freeing, but for me, not without its own issues.
Whatever your path, I hope you're able to stop pretending and be as happy as you can be! :)
Quote from: MarshaJoy825 on April 03, 2019, 05:13:17 AM
Alla,
Thank you so much for checking out my intro. As with all intros here, I could have written a book. I do hope we can keep in touch. I am kind of occupied for the next couple of days, but I do hope to private message you if you don't mind. I think it is good that we find support as Christians and being transgender at the same time. It is not the most easy journey to make. Have a great day! Hugs, Marsha
Quote from: AllazandraTelsar on April 10, 2019, 07:50:22 PMHello Alla,
I look forward to talking through private message as soon as I have it the ability to do so. :) I haven't been able to get on much, and I've only been posting when I felt like I had something positive to add, so not quite at the 15 posts needed (assuming I remember right how this works). But yeah, it would be real nice to talk to someone who can relate. While we have plenty of Christian friends, I don't think any of them would accept this about me, and I don't know anyone personally who is transgender that I can talk to either (at least that I know of).
Quote from: MarshaJoy825 on April 11, 2019, 07:47:12 AM
Hello Alla,
Thanks for writing me back. I did send you a private message. I hope you get it. If not, please let me know. You have a terrific day. Marsha
Quote from: Tribble on April 11, 2019, 07:54:27 AMThanks for sharing with us. I did send her my email address hoping that she could communicate in that way. I trust all is going well Tribble. Have a great day. Marsha
Until she gets 15 posts she won't be able to reply to your PM other than on the open forums.
Quote from: Tribble on April 11, 2019, 02:17:46 PMHello Tribble,
You have a great day, too!
And thank you for your reply to my earlier post. I'm sorry if I was too wordy, originally.
Good luck on your journey! :)