What do you say to people who do not understand why YOU would want to transition?
Fortunately, people whom I have told about my mtf status have been very accepting, but some others with whom I have not disclosed to but have I brought up the subject of ->-bleeped-<- and transsexuality have displayed a lack of understanding.
So, some of the comments below may have been originally stated in the form of "why would someone" instead of the "why would you" form that I show below. Or in the form "Do they" instead of the "Do you" form that I show below.
Here some questons and comments, I have heard some. Some are good questions, some not so.
1. Oh, you are so handsome (or for ftms, I guess they might say that you are so pretty), why in the world would you do this?" "You are good looking, you would be silly trying to be a woman, and besides, it makes no sense."
2. "Have you been under a lot of stress? Have you sought counseling to deal with this mental problem of wanting to be the other sex? Do you have multiple personalities?"
3. "You might be gay and this is a way for you to think that you are straight after all."
4. "Perhaps you can simply be a more feminine man (or I suppose, for ftms, they might say that you can be a 'tomboy'), after all, it is freaky for anyone to be the sex other than the one you were born."
5. "Why do you want to do this? Do you think you are a woman? When did these thoughts begin?"
6. "Maybe you just want to wear women's clothes. Is this a fetish?"
7. "Hey, society is just down on males now. It is like it is bad to be a guy. Just try to be a decent man, ignore all that silliness. We need both men and women, there is nothing wrong with being a man. Just be a good man."
8. "You will get beat up at some point if you transition. There are going to be some people that will taunt you and try to make your life miserable."
9. "You will not be able to get a good job. You will have no employment history. It is like your past did not exist. Besides, who wants a guy to show up at work dressed as a woman? It would be easier to get a job if you are simply gay. Maybe you are gay and are in denial."
10. "How are you ever going to sound like a woman, did you ever think about that?"
11. "Are you going to get your thing cut off too?"
12. "What have you been smoking?"
13. "Were you abused as child, is that why you are thinking this way?"
14. "This is simply unnatural. You can't fool Mother Nature."
15. "As you age, you will look sillier."
16. "Life will not be the same for you. Can you handle that?"
17. "No one would marry you unless they are equally confused. Maybe if they are gay or perverts. Few would even want to date you."
18. "What you want to do is wrong."
19. "This is just a phase probably. Give this some time. Sit on these thoughts. Maybe these thoughts will go away."
20. "This impacts more people in your life than just you. You are being incredibly selfish if you go through with this. If you are married, I doubt your wife would stay with you. Your friends, customers, and relatives will disown you. Maybe a few would be accepting. You will give up a lot."
21. Are you going to move away and start a new life? You might have to."
22. "I love you, but this is a terrible idea... (for some of these reasons noted above.)"
I suppose there are many other things some people may have said along these lines to you or a trans-person that you know.
I simply would answer honestly and hope for the best.
Chrissy
Here's the answer I gave my mom:
"I'm not happy, and I really haven't been truly happy all my life, and this is the reason why."
@ChrissyRyan:
Dear Chrissy:Certainly in my own situation...
.... saying anything and trying get others to accept me usually fell on deaf ears.
I found more success in trying to
fit in...
I am happy with who I am, I try to
dress and act respectfully and responsibly.
No wild clothing, no pushing
my trans status in anyone's faces.
I lived here for well over a year as
a Full Time woman and no one even
suspected that I was not a cis-female
until my dental visit last spring...
MY DENTIST and Dental HYGIENST KNEW !!!
My actions and appearances did more that words could ever do.
Hugs,
Danielle
Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on January 26, 2019, 10:00:59 AM
@ChrissyRyan:
Dear Chrissy:
Certainly in my own situation...
.... saying anything and trying get others to accept me usually fell on deaf ears.
I found more success in trying to fit in...
I am happy with who I am, I try to
dress and act respectfully and responsibly.
No wild clothing, no pushing
my trans status in anyone's faces.
I lived here for well over a year as
a Full Time woman and no one even
suspected that I was not a cis-female
until my dental visit last spring...
MY DENTIST and Dental HYGIENST KNEW !!!
My actions and appearances did more that words could ever do.
Hugs,
Danielle
@Alaskan Danielle
There is no doubt that if one is self-accepting and comfortable with her life, is authentic, responsible, not pushy, and dresses and behaves appropriately, that is what makes sense to do and be.
I will add that having positive attitude, persistence, kindness, a giving mindset, unselfishness, and emphathy also goes a long way.
Hugs,
Chrissy
I understand how some questions and comments can be frustrating though to hear.
Chrissy
I'd just tell them "I don't know either" and go about living my life the way I want to. Sometimes there just really isn't an answer. People question everything and everyone, being trans isn't that special it's just rare and easy to pick out in people.
Sent from my VS501 using Tapatalk
One single person asked your question #5.
And I answered that I just have to do it! End of discussion!
I generally don't engage with those people. There is a time and place for everything, but these questions typically come up in the wrong time and place.
If someone is genuinely seeking for information and wants to understand, I will answer most questions. Though if they ask what's in my pants, the answer is "None of your business." But if they do not want to understand, and are only asking the questions to taunt me, well, they know what they can do with themselves.
There is one thing that has never been asked or said of or to me:
"Wow, your internal struggles must have been horrible! Can you help me understand the trials that drove you to having to let go of all of the privilege and position and risk such social ostracism and rejection? How can I help you?"
I don't understand how a supposedly caring and intelligent muggle friend wouldn't realize how much we are risking and the high price we are paying so that we can continue living; and then seek to understand our struggles so that they could come along side and help.
Tia Anne
There is absolutely no "why" or rational "explanation" that a cis person could possibly understand I have found our most ardent supporters (ie: my two sisters) are usually those who know & love us regardless and will be content to take "all the rest" on the faith of 1st impressions.
This is WHY I am not a fan of "big workplace disclosures" know & accept me as an employee/person first and nothing else really matters! Will never forget the two huge, burly black guys I worked with every Tues/Thur who BUSTED OUT LAUGHING when, faced with a new unknown fourth intruder, I impulsively exclaimed "no no no I am the only GIRL (in this workplace area"!)!
Same thing goes for the 3 days I spent in a male NY Max Security prison: jealously support & treasure what friends you have made and, with no questions asked or needed, they will certainly do the same for you!
@ChrissyRyan Hi Chrissy
What an interesting list of statements...I have to admit that several of them ring a bell and I have come to a similar conclusion as
@Chloe "There is absolutely no "why" or rational "explanation" that a cis person could possibly understand......"I have now reached the point where I don't even bother trying but simply use a throw away line or change the subject. As far as I am concerned its no one else business but mine. ;D
Liz
A few blogs I follow have had a bit of a TERF incursion lately. Just behind the frustration of dealing with their perpetually warmed-over arguments, there's the joy of well-meaning cis people that don't understand, and really aren't helping with some of their attempts to understand trans folk. Sometimes there isn't anything you can say to make someone get it.
I'd just vent about finding age appropriate 32S sized clothes and I'm sure they would go away.
1. Oh, you are so handsome (or for ftms, I guess they might say that you are so pretty), why in the world would you do this?" "You are good looking, you would be silly trying to be a woman, and besides, it makes no sense."
A. Because boobs are awesome. ;D
2. "Have you been under a lot of stress? Have you sought counseling to deal with this mental problem of wanting to be the other sex? Do you have multiple personalities?"
A. I've been under a lot of stress my entire life... While I don't have multiple personalities, I do have mood swings. >:-)
3. "You might be gay and this is a way for you to think that you are straight after all."
A. Sweetie, Gay isn't extreme enough... :laugh:
4. "Perhaps you can simply be a more feminine man (or I suppose, for ftms, they might say that you can be a 'tomboy'), after all, it is freaky for anyone to be the sex other than the one you were born."
A. Isn't it though?
5. "Why do you want to do this? Do you think you are a woman? When did these thoughts begin?"
A. Why is the sky blue? ???
6. "Maybe you just want to wear women's clothes. Is this a fetish?"
A. I do like to wear women's clothes... I mean, when is the last time anyone swooned over t-shirts and sagging jeans? :P
7. "Hey, society is just down on males now. It is like it is bad to be a guy. Just try to be a decent man, ignore all that silliness. We need both men and women, there is nothing wrong with being a man. Just be a good man."
A. There isn't anything wrong with being a man, just like there is nothing wrong with being a woman. :o
8. "You will get beat up at some point if you transition. There are going to be some people that will taunt you and try to make your life miserable."
A. That's happened all my life... God created man, and Colt made them equal. :icon_2gun:
9. "You will not be able to get a good job. You will have no employment history. It is like your past did not exist. Besides, who wants a guy to show up at work dressed as a woman? It would be easier to get a job if you are simply gay. Maybe you are gay and are in denial."
A. The past is not as easily ditched as one might think. :police:
10. "How are you ever going to sound like a woman, did you ever think about that?"
A. That guy from Police Academy sounded like a whole lot of stuff... this is way simpler. ;)
11. "Are you going to get your thing cut off too?"
A. No, just remodeled.
12. "What have you been smoking?"
A. Cubans... want one?
13. "Were you abused as child, is that why you are thinking this way?"
A. No, but I did get disiplined a lot. I was out of control. :D
14. "This is simply unnatural. You can't fool Mother Nature."
A. You're almost right, it's supernatural. 8)
15. "As you age, you will look sillier."
A. Yes, but Father Time is a _______. And he's not doing anyone any favors. :o
16. "Life will not be the same for you. Can you handle that?"
A. Promise? :angel:
17. "No one would marry you unless they are equally confused. Maybe if they are gay or perverts. Few would even want to date you."
A. Have you ever thought that I would want nothing to do with them? ::)
18. "What you want to do is wrong."
A. Glad we got that out of the way... Phew. 😅
19. "This is just a phase probably. Give this some time. Sit on these thoughts. Maybe these thoughts will go away."
A. Always good advice... I got nothing, other than its been sat on for (X) years.
20. "This impacts more people in your life than just you. You are being incredibly selfish if you go through with this. If you are married, I doubt your wife would stay with you. Your friends, customers, and relatives will disown you. Maybe a few would be accepting. You will give up a lot."
A. Says who? I'm not giving up anything... if they give up on having me in their life, that's on them. :-\
21. Are you going to move away and start a new life? You might have to."
A. I don't have to do anything. I do what I want. :icon_bumdance-nerd:
22. "I love you, but this is a terrible idea... (for some of these reasons noted above.)"
A. That's one opinion... because I think its a great idea. ;D
I tell people that my personality isn't changing just my appearance and that I am still me. Sadly, like what was said earlier, it falls on deaf ears.
what's a girl to do?
Quote from: GingerVicki on January 28, 2019, 03:19:57 PM
I tell people that my personality isn't changing just my appearance and that I am still me. Sadly, like what was said earlier, it falls on deaf ears.
what's a girl to do?
Knee them?
Quote from: Dietlind on January 28, 2019, 03:34:53 PM
Knee them?
No no Linde.
It is what you would say to them, not do to them! :) Unless you are acting in self-defense if being physically attacked.
Chrissy
Quote from: ChrissyRyan on January 28, 2019, 03:46:21 PM
No no Linde.
It is what you would say to them, not do to them! :) Unless you are acting in self-defense if being physically attacked.
Chrissy
i am too laid back to hurt someone. i'd rather not talk to them anymore.
Quote from: ChrissyRyan on January 28, 2019, 03:46:21 PM
No no Linde.
It is what you would say to them, not do to them! :) Unless you are acting in self-defense if being physically attacked.
Chrissy
As an older woman one learned over time that one has to always be ready to be in self defense mode. Knee them before they do you!
I am just a mean old bitch/hag!
Quote from: Anne Blake on January 27, 2019, 01:55:06 PM. . . . how a supposedly caring and intelligent muggle friend wouldn't realize how much we are risking
@Anne Blake (Tia Anne) lol 1st time I've seen the "muggle" analogy it is rather
MAGIC what we do! "
In the beginning . . . male & female was As One" and it's since been decreed that "Life", as we know it, is only the ongoing struggle to return to such an original state[/i]". . .
. . . which would thus put us wayyy ahead of everyone else? It's like
Get Real do ya always just Take For Granted everything that happens in life?
There is a category of folks who do want to be polite, but really have trouble accepting our reality. Many insist on believing that "Transgender" means a man pretending to be a woman, and insisting that all go along with their little game. This is naturally incredibly frustrating.
I do occasionally point them to information correcting their misconceptions, but I am weary of having to bare my sould to others on demand. That really isn't our task. We can encourage others to look at sources of information and educate themselves, but exposing ourselves to potentially damaging situations is definitely NOT something we are obligated to do.
https://michellepaquette.blogspot.com/2019/01/how-can-i-learn-if-you-wont-teach-me.html (https://michellepaquette.blogspot.com/2019/01/how-can-i-learn-if-you-wont-teach-me.html)
Our responsibility is first to ourselves to heal and grow in a healthy manner, and second to support those closest to us as we travel our personal path through life together.
I haven't read any other responses, since I want to give an honest answer.
I transitioned because I was miserable with who I was pretending to be. As an AFAB, I was born with a severe birth defect, and now I'm doing something to fix it. I should have been born male, being called a tomboy my entire life by my family wasn't enough, I needed to be male in order to finally feel happy with my body, and myself.
One of my biggest fears is dying and being buried as the wrong gender, forever thought of as female. Not happening now, especially since I'm recognized by the US Federal Government as being male. YAY!
How I explain it to cis people is, "imagine one day, you wake up in the body of someone of the opposite gender. You know you're X gender, but everyone calls you by the wrong name, and the wrong pronouns. Your social roles change, you're treated differently than you feel you should be, and everything is just wrong. What would you do in that situation?"
I actually had a cis woman tell me "you need Jesus." I'm Pagan and Proud, thankyouverymuch! [emoji14]
Forever feeling "like you were born in the wrong body" is just not something that I feel that most people can ever understand. Its a craptastic feeling, IMVHO, the worst in the world! Feeling suicidal for being born the wrong gender sucks.
Even though it took me way too long to find out I can transition and become the gender I should have been born as, it thrills me to pieces that I can fix this severe birth defect!
Ryuichi
P.S. OOPS! Looks like I'm in the wrong discussion section again! But the FTM section is pretty quiet these days, so I hope you ladies don't mind me hanging out here every now and then.
Either way, sorry not sorry that my answer to the OP still remains the same.
Ryu
Quote from: Ryuichi13 on January 30, 2019, 02:55:46 AM
I haven't read any other responses, since I want to give an honest answer.
I transitioned because I was miserable with who I was pretending to be. As an AFAB, I was born with a severe birth defect, and now I'm doing something to fix it. I should have been born male, being called a tomboy my entire life by my family wasn't enough, I needed to be male in order to finally feel happy with my body, and myself.
One of my biggest fears is dying and being buried as the wrong gender, forever thought of as female. Not happening now, especially since I'm recognized by the US Federal Government as being male. YAY!
How I explain it to cis people is, "imagine one day, you wake up in the body of someone of the opposite gender. You know you're X gender, but everyone calls you by the wrong name, and the wrong pronouns. Your social roles change, you're treated differently than you feel you should be, and everything is just wrong. What would you do in that situation?"
I actually had a cis woman tell me "you need Jesus." I'm Pagan and Proud, thankyouverymuch! [emoji14]
Forever feeling "like you were born in the wrong body" is just not something that I feel that most people can ever understand. Its a craptastic feeling, IMVHO, the worst in the world! Feeling suicidal for being born the wrong gender sucks.
Even though it took me way too long to find out I can transition and become the gender I should have been born as, it thrills me to pieces that I can fix this severe birth defect!
Ryuichi
P.S. OOPS! Looks like I'm in the wrong discussion section again! But the FTM section is pretty quiet these days, so I hope you ladies don't mind me hanging out here every now and then.
Either way, sorry not sorry that my answer to the OP still remains the same.
Ryu
Ryuichi,
I welcome you here anytime! :)
Chrissy
Quote from: Ryuichi13 on January 30, 2019, 02:55:46 AM
P.S. OOPS! Looks like I'm in the wrong discussion section again! But the FTM section is pretty quiet these days, so I hope you ladies don't mind me hanging out here every now and then.
Either way, sorry not sorry that my answer to the OP still remains the same.
Ryu
We are always ready and happy to sit around the fire and do that cumbaya thing! (as long as you bring the ingredients for s'mores!)
They don't understands why?
transitioning typically results in "improved quality of life, greater relationship satisfaction, higher self-esteem and confidence, and reductions in anxiety, depression, suicidality, and substance use." (https://thinkprogress.org/what-we-know-transgender-surgery-72ae4737545a/)
Just read that, OK? Just read it. That's why.
Having gone through the process I learned that as the song goes My give a dam is busted. I just decided to do my own thing and forget what the rest felt.......
Quote from: Katie on January 31, 2019, 07:28:58 AM
Having gone through the process I learned that as the song goes My give a dam is busted. I just decided to do my own thing and forget what the rest felt.......
Sounds about right! :D
But there are those that ask still, so my previous post
*points up* explains what I tell them when they ask.
Ryuichi
I have learned to say, very nicely, that I am doing this because transitioning helps me to be myself. I also say that it is not easy to transition.
Chrissy
Quote from: ChrissyRyan on March 05, 2019, 03:51:38 PM
I have learned to say, very nicely, that I am doing this because transitioning helps me to be myself. I also say that it is not easy to transition.
Chrissy
I do think it is best to simply smile and be friendly with responses but I will not definitively answer "insensitive" questions or matters that are none of anyone's business. Nor do I expect anyone to all the sudden to become supportive because of what I say to them. I do hope that they would believe that I think that my life is better overall after me accepting who I am but if they do not, so be it. There are some things that are simply out of your control.
Wouldn't be nice to live your life as if you have always been a cis-woman in your community?
We'd have the same good and bad issues as cis-women have to deal with, but not the tough trans-related ones.
Hugs,
Chrissy
My wife asked me why I wanted to be a woman, and I told her it wasn't a matter of 'wanting'. I want to be normal, (well, young and rich would be nice also), but that was denied to me, so I have to deal with who I actually am. So many people believe this is a life we choose, and so question our judgement. It took my wife a while to see that accepting and managing my ->-bleeped-<- was a necessity for my physical and mental health.
I would invest time in explaining my situation to loved ones, close friends, and co workers, but I would simply and nicely advise casual acquaintances to google it!
Allie
I have settled on saying that this lets me be my authentic self.
Some people will think that is odd; but, so be it.
Hugs,
Chrissy
Quote from: ChrissyRyan on January 26, 2019, 09:22:00 AMWhat do you say to people who do not understand why YOU would want to transition?
I just say, simply: "It's okay, I don't expect you to understand. All I would like is for you to respect me enough to accept that
I understand why I would want to transition. If you can do that, then fantastic. <3"
There's a quote I tend to live by, from Edward Koch:
"I can explain it to you, but I can't comprehend it for you."Or, as Morpheus would say:
"I can only show you the door. You are the one who must walk through it."There will be people who never understand. There will be people who understand immediately. And everything in-between. The important thing is, you don't need to get people to one place or another. That's something they can only really do for themselves. As long as they get that
you understand what you're doing... that's all there needs to be.
Yes, it is very difficult for someone who does not experience dysphoria to understand what it is like. I was just in a similar conversation the other night. He described himself as an Alpha male and said he can read a room easily and know that he is in fact the alpha.
I told him that it was good that he knows who he is and has no doubts about it. We experience the same thing. But imagine knowing this as well as you do, but the person looking back at you in the mirror is not the person that you know that you are. Try to comprehend what that might be like, then you are beginning to understand.
Quote from: Lori Dee on August 13, 2024, 03:36:40 PMI told him that it was good that he knows who he is and has no doubts about it. We experience the same thing. But imagine knowing this as well as you do, but the person looking back at you in the mirror is not the person that you know that you are. Try to comprehend what that might be like, then you are beginning to understand.
I like this. Relating something to how someone already feels about themselves is a good way to go. It gives context.
Chrissy,
I have told some people that I am correcting a birth defect.
Gwen
Quote from: gwenf369 on August 13, 2024, 09:14:09 PMChrissy,
I have told some people that I am correcting a birth defect.
Gwen
Very good!
Chrissy
Hi Everyone
Unfortunately I would not really know how to answer any of those questions. Simply for the fact I have never been asked those questions and the reason being, I have never told anyone about myself. Some family have asked me questions but nothing like the ones listed. When I was telling them my story, I was obviously answering their questions before they had a chance to.
Fit in? Authentic Self? Choice? Well I certainly did it to fit into the group that I belonged to and that was the binary world of male and female. When I did, I just remained being myself or authentic self, I did not change who I was. Choice, one would say that one does not have a choice in this matter and technically they would be correct. Nature or the environment stuffed up and there's nothing one can do about it. If there was I would still remain a female regardless.
However, I never knew at the time that I changed my life around that nature or the environment (mum taking pills). That this was the case. So when I did change, I chose to be a female, I wanted to be a female and I longed to be a female. So at the time I chose to be who I wanted to be, it was my choice and I have never regretted it.
So I'm being who I want to be.
Love and Hugs
Sarah B
Official Greeter
Hi Everyone
Assuming some stranger comes up and asks me those questions. I would answer them in the following way.
1. Oh, you are so handsome (or for ftms, I guess they might say that you are so pretty), why in the world would you do this?" "You are good looking, you would be silly trying to be a woman, and besides, it makes no sense."
A. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and there are a lot more people who are more pretty than me. I want to do this because I want to. No, I not good looking, I'm beautiful. How would you know I would look silly? No it does not make sense to you, but it does to me.
2. "Have you been under a lot of stress? Have you sought counseling to deal with this mental problem of wanting to be the other sex? Do you have multiple personalities?"
A. No I have never been under stress, what makes you say that? Do you know something I don't? No I never sought counselling, except when I had to go to get my surgery letters. Once I got those I have never seen another 'therapist ever again. Not that I'm aware of, I only talk to me, myself and I. However, some days I'm happy and some days I'm not, but then again I'm sure you are happy and sad sometimes.
3. "You might be gay and this is a way for you to think that you are straight after all."
A. No I'm not gay, never have been and never will be. One moment, let me ask myself again. "Am I gay Sarah?" No, you are not Sarah. You definitely go that right, I was straight as die, before and after surgery.
4. "Perhaps you can simply be a more feminine man (or I suppose, for ftms, they might say that you can be a 'tomboy'), after all, it is freaky for anyone to be the sex other than the one you were born."
A. I was never a man in the first place, I'm not freaky, just another human, going about their daily life. Have you ever tried being the other sex than you was born with?
5. "Why do you want to do this? Do you think you are a woman? When did these thoughts begin?"
A. Because I want to. Better still what is the answer to life the universe and everything? When you know the answer to this question then you will know why I want to do this. I was very young when I first had the thoughts of wanting to be a girl.
6. "Maybe you just want to wear women's clothes. Is this a fetish?"
A. I wear womens's clothes because I'm a female. Who wants to wear grey clothes, flannel shirts and ripped, saggy jeans all the time? Boring if you ask me. Not that I know of, females wearing female clothes is not a fetish the last time I heard.
7. "Hey, society is just down on males now. It is like it is bad to be a guy. Just try to be a decent man, ignore all that silliness. We need both men and women, there is nothing wrong with being a man. Just be a good man."
A. So what if society is down on males, its societies problem to resolve. I'm sure they will sort it out sometime. There isn't anything wrong with being a man or women so deal with it.
8. "You will get beat up at some point if you transition. There are going to be some people that will taunt you and try to make your life miserable."
A. No I was never beaten up or taunted, nobody knew I was changing my life around. If somebody beats you up, in todays society, it means jail time.
9. "You will not be able to get a good job. You will have no employment history. It is like your past did not exist. Besides, who wants a guy to show up at work dressed as a woman? It would be easier to get a job if you are simply gay. Maybe you are gay and are in denial."
A. I was working the day I changed my life around virtually, have you ever heard of the black swan theory? I guess not as there are exceptions to some rules. I had employment history, but I was vetted by an employment agency and the employer just hired me under contract. I don't know who would not like to see any men come to work in a dress, do you know who they are?
10. "How are you ever going to sound like a woman, did you ever think about that?"
A. I have a list of females as long as my arm in 6pt that have deeper voices than mine, so what's your problem?
11. "Are you going to get your thing cut off too?"
A. No, I'm turning my outie into an innie.
12. "What have you been smoking?"
A. Nothing, I don't smoke. You must be smoking something as you are asking such rude and dumb questions.
13. "Were you abused as child, is that why you are thinking this way?"
A. No, I was never abused. Disciplined, yes.
14. "This is simply unnatural. You can't fool Mother Nature."
A. Who said it's unnatural? Who is mother nature or father nature as a matter of fact? They are not going to dictate to me what I can or can not do.
15. "As you age, you will look sillier."
A. So you say, it really depends on ones mental faculties and the rate you are asking these questions you certainly are looking sillier as time passes.
16. "Life will not be the same for you. Can you handle that?"
A. Of course it's going to be different and I'm looking forward to it changing.
17. "No one would marry you unless they are equally confused. Maybe if they are gay or perverts. Few would even want to date you."
A. I would never want to marry a confused, gay or pervert person. How about you?
18. "What you want to do is wrong."
A. I don't care whether you think it is right or wrong, did I say I don't care?
19. "This is just a phase probably. Give this some time. Sit on these thoughts. Maybe these thoughts will go away."
A. Just a phase? Thats funny its been 35 years and counting, it must be one of the longest phases of my life, so I guess you must realise that I have given it some thought. Nothing has changed in all that time.
20. "This impacts more people in your life than just you. You are being incredibly selfish if you go through with this. If you are married, I doubt your wife would stay with you. Your friends, customers, and relatives will disown you. Maybe a few would be accepting. You will give up a lot."
A. Who does it impact exactly? How can I be selfish if I did something for myself. I have no wife so thats not a problem for me. If others have a problem with what I have done then that's their problem not mine.
21. Are you going to move away and start a new life? You might have to."
A. I actually did move away from friends and family. I did not want the reprucussions of what I was doing to be reflected upon them. In doing so, I achieved more than I ever thought possible. Luckly for me my family found out and they accepted me.
22. "I love you, but this is a terrible idea. (for some of these reasons noted above.)"
A. I love you too, not! That's your opinion and I don't care if you think it's a terrible idea. For me it was the best thing, idea that I have ever had.
Talk about putting people in their right place. ;D ::)
Love and Hugs
Sarah B
Official Greeter
Quote from: Sarah B on August 14, 2024, 12:09:53 AMBecause I want to. Better still what is the answer to life the universe and everything? When you know the answer to this question then you will know why I want to do this. I was very young when I first had the thoughts of wanting to be a girl.
According to The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe and everything is: 42. ;D
Hi Everyone You are right Iztaccihuatl, "The answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe and everything" is of course 42. However, the question is why 42?
Well in computer programming 42 is represented by the character '*' and the '*' represents the wild card or what ever the user would like the '*' to be. This is why 'Deep Thought' gave the answer of 42. This leaves the symbolic meaning of 42 as the answer to life, the universe and everything, is anything the user would like it to be.
So answering their question with 42, my answer could be anything and still they would not understand.
Now I heard somewhere that 6 x 7 is . . .
Love and HugsSarah BOfficial Greeter@Iztaccihuatl
Overall, many good thoughts...
Thank you for sharing out.
Quote from: Sarah B on August 14, 2024, 06:16:17 AMWell in computer programming 42 is represented by the character '*' and the '*' represents the wild card or what ever the user would like the '*' to be. This is why 'Deep Thought' gave the answer of 42. This leaves the symbolic meaning of 42 as the answer to life, the universe and everything, is anything the user would like it to be.
Only in ASCII encoding. In EBCDIC an asterisk is 92. Now, EBCDIC was an IBM invention and IBM also produced a chess computer named Deep Thought. Not sure what to make of these facts...
Quote from: Iztaccihuatl on August 14, 2024, 08:55:22 AMOnly in ASCII encoding. In EBCDIC an asterisk is 92. Now, EBCDIC was an IBM invention and IBM also produced a chess computer named Deep Thought. Not sure what to make of these facts...
Facts can be stranger than fiction.
In numerology, 42 = 6 (4+2)
6 represents home and family. Is this the secret?
Hi Everyone Iztaccihuatl:
Quote from: Iztaccihuatl on August 14, 2024, 08:55:22 AMOnly in ASCII encoding. In EBCDIC an asterisk is 92. Now, EBCDIC was an IBM invention and IBM also produced a chess computer named Deep Thought. Not sure what to make of these facts...
Very interesting never dealt with coding EBCDIC while at university. Although I knew about EBCDIC and Deep Thought.
Lori:
Quote from: Lori Dee on August 14, 2024, 09:07:49 AMFacts can be stranger than fiction.
In numerology, 42 = 6 (4+2)
6 represents home and family. Is this the secret?
42 = 6 (4+2)
42 = 6 (6)
42 ≠ 36
No wonder why I do not believe in Numerology.
Love and HugsSarah BOfficial Greeter@Lori Dee@Iztaccihuatl
Quote from: Sarah B on August 14, 2024, 09:17:53 AM42 = 6 (4+2)
42 = 6 (6)
42 ≠ 36
You misunderstood.
42 = (4+2) = 6
In numerology, you reduce multi-digit numbers to a single digit through the process of "casting nines". That means repeatedly subtracting nine until you have a single-digit result. The fastest and easiest way to do that is to add the digits together.
Quote from: Sarah B on August 14, 2024, 12:09:53 AMHi Everyone
A. Because I want to. Better still what is the answer to life the universe and everything? When you know the answer to this question then you will know why I want to do this. I was very young when I first had the thoughts of wanting to be a girl.
These numbered items are so, to some dgree or other. Yet for me, I never had, "the thoughts of wanting to be a girl." I was one. Just that others insisted I couldn't present as one.
Quote from: Sarah B on August 13, 2024, 10:24:33 PMHi Everyone
Unfortunately I would not really know how to answer any of those questions. Simply for the fact I have never been asked those questions and the reason being, I have never told anyone about myself. Some family have asked me questions but nothing like the ones listed. When I was telling them my story, I was obviously answering their questions before they had a chance to.
Fit in? Authentic Self? Choice? Well I certainly did it to fit into the group that I belonged to and that was the binary world of male and female. When I did, I just remained being myself or authentic self, I did not change who I was. Choice, one would say that one does not have a choice in this matter and technically they would be correct. Nature or the environment stuffed up and there's nothing one can do about it. If there was I would still remain a female regardless.
However, I never knew at the time that I changed my life around that nature or the environment (mum taking pills). That this was the case. So when I did change, I chose to be a female, I wanted to be a female and I longed to be a female. So at the time I chose to be who I wanted to be, it was my choice and I have never regretted it.
So I'm being who I want to be.
Love and Hugs
Sarah B
Official Greeter
Much more to the point! Reflections of us.
Hi Everyone For me, it was not until I was 51 (19 years post op) that I realised that I was always female. I never questioned my gender, even in childhood. Although I have lived my life as a female ever since I changed my life around 35 years ago.
Love and HugsSarah BOfficial Greeter@D'Amalie
Hi Everyone Quote from: D'Amalie on August 14, 2024, 10:31:35 AMMuch more to the point! Reflections of us.
When I was answering those questions, I was being satirical.
Love and HugsSarah BOfficial Greeter@D'Amalie
Hi Everyone Lori you said:
Quote from: Lori Dee on August 14, 2024, 09:38:08 AMYou misunderstood.
42 = (4+2) = 6
In numerology, you reduce multi-digit numbers to a single digit through the process of "casting nines". That means repeatedly subtracting nine until you have a single-digit result. The fastest and easiest way to do that is to add the digits together.
What I have highlighted in red is wrong, let me show you why
42 = (4x10 + 2)
42 = (40 + 2)
42 = 42
QED
The 4 represents 4 lots of 10 in the number 42. I'm just a mathematican ;D ::)
Yes, Lori I'm aware of reducing the numbers by adding the digits, my mum was into all of this stuff. Reading tea leaves, telling fortunes with tarot cards and along the way there was some numerology, which I briefly looked at. Mum never (her children) read our fortunes. Curious that.
I do love the number 42 and I make a note of it every time I see it anywhere.
Love and HugsSarah BOfficial GreeterPS QED = Quod Erat Demonstrandum (Latin what had to be proved or what was to be demonstrated)
Quote from: D'Amalie on August 14, 2024, 10:30:01 AMI never had, "the thoughts of wanting to be a girl." I was one. Just that others insisted I couldn't present as one.
This was me too!
Quote from: Sarah B on August 14, 2024, 11:17:23 AMHi Everyone
Lori you said:
What I have highlighted in red is wrong, let me show you why
42 = (4x10 + 2)
42 = (40 + 2)
42 = 42
QED
The 4 represents 4 lots of 10 in the number 42. I'm just a mathematican ;D ::)
Yes, Lori I'm aware of reducing the numbers by adding the digits, my mum was into all of this stuff. Reading tea leaves, telling fortunes with tarot cards and along the way there was some numerology, which I briefly looked at. Mum never (her children) read our fortunes. Curious that.
I do love the number 42 and I make a note of it every time I see it anywhere.
Love and Hugs
Sarah B
Official Greeter
PS QED = Quod Erat Demonstrandum (Latin what had to be proved or what was to be demonstrated)
I get that, but you are looking at it from the mathematics point of view. In numerology, the digits do not represent values or counts. They are more like frequencies, vibrations, or potentials. The digits are merely symbols to represent those vibrations and are not specific counts of beats per second so to speak. Numerology uses arithmetic primarily, very rarely using multiplication as multiple addition only. It is not "fortune telling" but a means to gather insight. Those who study Kaballah are familiar with Hebrew characters that represent numerical values as well as words. The intent is not to predict or forecast, but to gain insight into deeper meaning.
But I do like the way you think.
Quote from: Lori Dee on August 14, 2024, 09:38:08 AMYou misunderstood.
42 = (4+2) = 6
In numerology, you reduce multi-digit numbers to a single digit through the process of "casting nines". That means repeatedly subtracting nine until you have a single-digit result. The fastest and easiest way to do that is to add the digits together.
Now, see how parentheses can eliminate ambiguity? Especially so with numbers!