Hi every one
Maybe because i am in tranisition this thought crossed my mind, but if all men had to be a woman for one day and experience how we feel do you think they would treat us different.
This point came home to me in a big way last weekend, I had been planning to buy a new car for some time but had put it off for understandable reasons, well the sales man I encountered treated me like a fool, explained nothing, when I asked him the questions I needed to know he "said bring your boyfriend along it all to long to explain, now what colour do you like love"
I was very angry about this treatment and played the dumb female part just to
get out so am still looking.
Any comments.
I would have made a comment like: "If you can't treat me as the intelligent person I am, then I will go and find another salesperson who can."
Melissa
"If you can't treat me as the intelligent person I am, then I will go and find another salesperson who can."Yes I too and at the SAME DEALERSHIP! He already showed he couldn't treat her as the intelligent person she is. I would have said thatnks and walked to a different saleperson and said I want to know this and this and this ... about this vehicle I'm maybe be prepared to purchase it from you instead of the salesman over ther I was just talking to.
Smiles,
Peggiann
Easy fixed find a dealership who has a female sales person.
Oh and dont get me started on men!
Sara.
Quote from: CarolC Oz Girl on February 21, 2006, 12:52:14 PM
Maybe because i am in tranisition this thought crossed my mind, but if all men had to be a woman for one day and experience how we feel do you think they would treat us different.
Simply put "
NO", and why would they, and how could they. We can all pretend to be something we're not but in the end there is no incentive for them to change. They couldn't possibly experience all the issues that women have to put up with each day. You could slap men like the salesman you refer to until they were black and blue in the face but from experience their nature, and personality will remain the same... a natural feeling of superiority no matter how stupid they look.
Send them to Dr Phil, but that would be a waste as well.
Steph
Quote from: CarolC Oz Girl on February 21, 2006, 12:52:14 PM
Hi every one
if all men had to be a woman for one day and experience how we feel do you think they would treat us different.
http://www.haverford.edu/psych/ddavis/p109g/steinem.menstruate.html
******************************************************
1. Maternity leave would last two years.. with full pay.
2. There would be a cure for stretch marks.
3. Natural childbirth would be obsolete.
4. Morning sickness would rate as the nations number one health problem.
5. All methods of birth control would be improved to 100% effectiveness.
6. Children would be kept in the hospital until they were toilet trained.
7. Men would be eager to talk about commitment.
8. They would not think twins were quite so cute.
9. Fathers would demand that their SONS be home from dates by 10 PM.
10. Men could use their briefcases as diaper bags.
11. They would have to stop saying, "I'm afraid I'll drop him."
12. Paternity suits would be a line of clothes.
13. They would stay in bed for the entire nine months.
14. Menus at most restaurants would list ice cream and pickles as entrees.
15. Women would rule the world.
Where do you get this stuff :)
Steph
As I have said before--I have gigs of info available.
Why do you think I have cable internet?
L
Hi again
I have many a man who treats a woman well, It annoyed me when your talking of spend 40k plus why should I not be taken for a fool just because I am a Girl.
Think about it, the staff say a lot about the business and there values would you spend any money hard earnt at that with people who do not treat you right, I do not reward bad behaviour.
By the by the sales was a typical Aussie guy, you know a mans man I don't know what terms apply os.
Oh well there loss.
Love
Caroline
xxxx
Posted at: February 21, 2006, 10:43:13 PM
Sorry forgive the bad grammar I am in a bit of a rush.
Love
Caroline
xxxx
Ya know, I just went in for an oil change. First time as obviously male. I always go into defensive mode cause they try to oversell, so before I go in, I check all my fluids and do a visual check of the chassis and other bits and pieces. Only thing I noticed wrong was windshield washer fluid low, which I can get for 2 bucks at Canadian Tire - 8 bucks at oil change place. So I was set.
Go in there. Guy says "windshield washer fluid's low" I said "yeah". That was it. No trying to sell me wipers, everything else under the sun. Same place I've been to and always had to prove myself as female. Suddenly I have credibility. I like it, but not at that price.
Dennis
Hi Caroline,
Quote from: CarolC Oz Girl on February 21, 2006, 12:52:14 PM
if all men had to be a woman for one day and experience how we feel do you think they would treat us different.
Take it from me.... no, it wouldn't help. There's no excuse for the way he treated you. However, he is one sad example of ... I dunno what to call it, the male superiority complex? *shrug* It stems from two main things, in my mind:
First, it seems it is human nature to play the game of one-upmanship. People seem to latch on to whatever they can to feel special. For guys it is usually involves strength or knowledge about "guy-things" - sports, mechanics, etc.
Secondly, most guys have this innate desire to "be a man", or be as non-feminine as possible. It's the ultimate insult to be called "a girl" (not that there's anything wrong with being a girl, as long as you're not a guy.) It's vice versa for girls, but from what I've observed, to a lesser degree. The societal differences between the sexes is interesting in this regard, and it doesn't favor guys. Girls, in general, seem to care somewhat about being pretty, sexy, stylish, sensitive.... etc, and the definition of femininity seems to be skewed that way. You all have the market cornered on that one. Guys, in general, will never try to compete with you there - and they can't, anyway. Guys are ugly mugs compared to girls. You can express your femininity without fearing that some guy will actually be better than you in that area. Femininity does not depend on "skillz" (to quote Napoleon Dynamite). However, masculinity does sometimes. There is enormous pressure on guys to "make something of themselves" and an innate desire to "be the hero", so many guys (unfortunately) place their masculine identity into how well they throw a football, scale a wall, fix a car, shoot a gun, their performance in a boardroom, how well they play poker, etc, etc. That's why it sucks for guys to lose to a girl. You're not just losing a competition, your masculinity is thrown into question. Unfortunately for guys, females are just as competent in every area except (with few exceptions) those requiring strength. In areas that don't require strength to be competent, particularly those that are male-dominated fields, the general thought pattern can become "well, if i'm not actually better or more knowledgeable, I'll at least act that way." And with few good examples to challenge that way of thinking, they start to believe it.
My thoughts, for what they're worth. Even I, though I "know better" and understand what it can be like to be on the receiving end, can tend to think like that, just from growing up in a boy's world. (That's usually right before I hit myself over the head.) Fortunately, many guys do grow up and respect women for the most part. I guess this is a long way of saying - men who treat you like that should be pitied, if anything. And, you certainly don't need to give them your business.
Joseph
I hate men, and you know what I hate even more? Inequality. >:(
I totally agree Victoria, he felt me feel like I was not worth talking to, that I being female could not possible understand what he was talking about.
In reality I proberly earn much more than him, maybe a single woman who would be paying cash for the car annoyed him and the condesending way he called me love was not at all helpful.
Quote from: CarolC Oz Girl on February 21, 2006, 10:45:11 PM
Hi again
I have many a man who treats a woman well, It annoyed me when your talking of spend 40k plus why should I not be taken for a fool just because I am a Girl.
Think about it, the staff say a lot about the business and there values would you spend any money hard earnt at that with people who do not treat you right, I do not reward bad behaviour.
By the by the sales was a typical Aussie guy, you know a mans man I don't know what terms apply os.
Oh well there loss.
Well one way to have put the salesman in his place was to have seen the manager and simply said to him something like... " You have just lost a 40k deal simply because of the way that this salesman treated me. I will be taking my 40k to another dealership that knows how to treat women. Furthermore I will informing others of the poor treatment I received here..."
Who knows if this would have made a difference but at least it would have made you feel a little better.
Steph
When shopping for higher priced, high performance cars there is also some age discrimination. I knew someone who had inherited a ton of money. He was also brilliant and made good money on his own so he decided what car he wanted and went to the lot. The sales guy kept putting him down and even said that it was too much car for him. He managed to record it all on cassette and took them to court over it.
For my own part I have purchased my last two new cars through female employees. The first time was intentional since all of the guys were hanging around out front. Second time everything started on the phone so it was just chance that it happened.
Even on the first one the guys were telling me 1) options on the car (turned out I knew more than they did) and 2) how to wax a vehicle. :rolleyes. Living in the south, I run into that stuff pretty often. You either learn to stand up for yourself or get walked on. For the record, one of my nicknames is The Bitch so you can guess what I do. ;)
Hi Steph, I take your point, however in my own business I have always put the customer first.
There is a quite old customer service training video called Remember me, it about the lost customer the one who never complains, she or he never comes back.
If business who have staff who give poor service I vote with my feet, in my experience the customer who complains, you have them for life.
Love
Caroline
I love the car business because my Dad was a mechanic. When someone starts treating me like a bubble-head, I ask him a question I know he can't answer! ::) If they REALLY pi@@ me off, I always stop by the manager's office on the way out to tell him why they will never see me again and how much money just walked out the door.
*sigh*
My dad is a was a mechanic for numerous years... Still fixes the cars and just about everything else (I get the computers, lol.).. Dad can basically do it all. Not well perhaps, but passable. ... Anyway, cars.... I've got the best teacher a girl could want.... But damn it just does not stick... :eusa_wall: ... As I said. *sigh*
By the by I also tend to be one of those who never complains, but never returns.
Hi Kimberley
I think many people are like you and me, don't get good service don't go back.
I am luck enough to be in a position to purchase a new vehicle, I simply had a question on how the air bags work, but the must have thought its to much for the poor simple girl.
more fool him.
Love
Caroline
XXXX
I went with my SO a while back when she was buying a new car. The salesman was really taking advantage of her, and it blew his mind when I called him a fool and lier. Then went ahead and proved how he was misrepresenting things.
I immediately called his manager into the office and had him fired and then my wife got a good deal from the manager. So, two women can get good deals if they stand up for themselves.
Sarah L.
I have yet to experience buying a car or seeing a mechanic as female, but when I do, at least I am armed with extensive technical knowledge. I took an automotive course (back when I was in denial) and have been doing my own repairs for the last couple years (which is one reason, I haven't seen a mechanic). So, I will be able to ask them questions they can't answer if required.
Melissa
I will say that I have been treated differently at the Lube shop. Since I was "only" a woman, they didn't feel it was necessary to tell me why I needed a new gas filter, they just told me I "should" do it. It was kind of funny how they thought I wouldn't know the difference.
Sarah L.
A Gas filter should be replaced as a certain number of miles. The procedure is generally pretty simple, especially for an inline filter. Last year, I replaced one on my stalling Van in an effort to fix it. It turned out to be a bad crankshaft position sensor. The funny thing is, years ago when my parent's owned it, they had the same problem and took it to several mechanics before they found one who could correctly fix it. At least I know what to replace the next time it happens.
Melissa
I know that too Melissa. As a high school student I was Forced to take auto shop (I tried to get into Home Economics, but the school refused). I learned how to rebuild an engine, a transmission, etc.
Sarah L.
I took Home Ec in Junior High and loved it. It was also nice to be able to eat you cooking creations. If my Home Ec teacher could see me now. :)
Melissa
hey Oz girl, your remarks per men made me think of the saying "New Zealand: where the men are men, and the sheep are afraid". >:D
Hey Jan
I've never been to New Zealand so are the sheep scared????????????.
Are you from Australia?
Love
Caroline
xxxx
Hi Caroline,
If you asking something he must answer to you and no matter if you a girl or a man!
In my country customers are first specially the one like you, who pay with money.
Love? He said to you love? Can't imagine that in our car salons, was three times when my sister buying cars, she and salesman talking and he complitely showing the possibility and comfort of the car, he make all papers ready with her and I was watching that time other cars around ... after they signs papers she just called me and we go home with new car,so practicaly she's buying the car alone, and nobody called her love,also if she wanted to know something, the salesman answer to her on every question ...
and if you still wondering how are working air bags, than press or copy that link, from the State of Maine.
http://www.state.me.us/dps/Bhs/howdo.htm
I'm not sure is this against the rules, posting a link or not, I will delete him if it's against.
Michelle
Quote from: NightAngel on February 24, 2006, 10:00:57 AM
Love? He said to you love? Can't imagine that in our car salons
In countries like Austrailia and the UK, calling a woman "Love" is like calling them "Miss" or "Maam" in the states here.
Melissa
Hi Melissa
Thats true, but it depends on the tone and body language, he was making the the point to me that I was a stupid woman and could not possibly understand so I should stick to the colour choice.
But your right in what you say they are terms of endearment here.
QuoteIn countries like Austrailia and the UK, calling a woman "Love" is like calling them "Miss" or "Maam" in the states here.
I wouldn't try it in the circles I move in if I were a man dealing with them and wishing to keep my nearest and dearest appendage!!
Shelley
Quote from: Victoria on February 21, 2006, 11:49:18 PM
I hate men, and you know what I hate even more? Inequality. >:(
Same here sister!
It doesn't help that so many movies/tv shows, show women as dumb and unintelligent and center whole shows around a women with big boobs but has no acting talent to speak of just to get the male audience completely ignoring IMO the women who might watch (example Stacked staring Pam Anderson). GRRR! >:( Sorry had to say that it just pisses me off so much!
Anyway, a friend and I where discussing this a few days ago. We both agree that for the men that will take it seriously, they will most likely change how they treat women when it comes to stuff like cars and everything. The question remains how many men would actually take it seriously? I think it would be worth having all the men be women for a week or maybe even a month at schools/jobs if just one man takes it seriously and realizes how hard it is to be a women and changes the way he treats women.
Thats my 2 cents
-Lessa
Posted at: February 25, 2006, 02:49:02 PM
Quote from: melissa_girl on February 22, 2006, 03:09:51 PM
I took Home Ec in Junior High and loved it. It was also nice to be able to eat you cooking creations. If my Home Ec teacher could see me now. :)
Melissa
Same here, I was able to take it then and was only forced to take shop class for one semester. I absoultly love Home Ec and just couldn't not stand shop! None of my male friends understood why I didn't like shop, but loved Home Ec. And to be honest at the time I didn't really understand it either I just knew I hated shop class but loved Home Ec!
Hi Lessa
I think that in areas that are technical the guys feel they have an edge over us girls, yes they tend to like that stuff and treat it as our own domain.
What really offended me was the fact I was a well dress business woman looking to buy a product from them, yet the salesman still treated me like I had no brain.
If all guys had to be in ours shoes I sure more of them would change.
Love
Caroline
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Hi Caroline
Thats ridiculous! I would have turned into a major bitch and told him off and leave him standing there with that dumb testostorne filled mind of his wondering what just happened! Sorry I have not tolerence for men like that luckily I haven't meet a lot of them in my life.
"If all guys had to be in ours shoes I sure more of them would change."
I have a pair of 3 inch (76mm) high heels that would just do the trick! >:D
Hi Helen
I guess that would depend on if he going running or just foe a nice slow walk.
Love
Caroline
Quote from: Victoria on February 21, 2006, 11:49:18 PM
I hate men, and you know what I hate even more? Inequality. >:(
Was going to let this go, but I see it got quoted again. I suspect if I posted something like this about women, everyone would be quite justifiably jumping down my throat. Not that I would, but it seems ok to male-bash in some quarters. That's probably why we don't keep a significant FtM population here.
Dennis
Ok, sorry I didn't really mean it that way.
I meant that I hate how men treat woman sometimes.
Calling someone "Love" is not a good idea unless you know them well and circumstances warrant (and even then is not a good idea, its overfamiliar). Otherwise its condesending - in a commercial situation - calling someone love is patronising at the very least.
And, in a commercial situation - if a salesman or mechanic etc. adopts a patronising attitude, why get upset? They are truely leading with their chin, so easy to get themselves fired, lose your business. The customer has so much power.
Actually testosterone can have a dumbing down effect - can turn off the higher centers of the brain as effectively as alcohol (dont ask me how I know this - but I can speak with authority)
rana
Quote from: rana on February 26, 2006, 06:04:42 AM
Actually testosterone can have a dumbing down effect - can turn off the higher centers of the brain as effectively as alcohol (dont ask me how I know this - but I can speak with authority)
I've noticed this lately ... I was lazy and let my prescriptions run out before getting more ... the last three days I've been off the pill, slowly allowing my femininity to waste away like a crisp, sharp colorful image slowly fading and blurring ... the exact words I used for a friend were: "sorry, I've been off the pill for a couple days, so I'm feeling kinda male-ish and stupid right now."
Hello stephanie.
You can't rely on a pill for femininity you are either a woman or you are not. The pills have nothing to do with it.
Steph
You would waste some of the most precious resource in the galaxy by dumping it on someone's head?
:P