Fans of Bette Davis may recognize the line from Thomas Tryon's Harvest Home.
What fascinating things have you learned about living as a woman that took you by surprise? I'll start:
I never could have imagined what it's like to pass gas while wearing a sanitary napkin. :o
1. walking alone at night is sometimes really scary
2. there are ALOT of unspoken fashion rules placed on women by women such as: bobby pins shouldn't be seen, but need to be hidden, otherwise you look "less than". This person will go unnamed but I literally said that's ridiculous! I have had many many many such rules shared with me by many women in my life since coming out and each time it's like, wtf. However, I still try to follow them😑
3. Wearing a bra sucks! Especially for 10 hours at work. Sometimes I'm like f*** this and take it off
4. How did I ever survive without a purse!
When you pass gas the gas can go up and vibrate the minora.
Keeping your legs together keeps odors at bay.
You can smell testosterone on a guy from 5 feet away. A gaggle of guys and you can smell it when entering into a room.
Quote from: Rachel on April 07, 2019, 05:08:25 PM
When you pass gas the gas can go up and vibrate the minora.
Keeping your legs together keeps odors at bay.
You can smell testosterone on a guy from 5 feet away. A gaggle of guys and you can smell it when entering into a room.
That's what that smell is?
Quote from: Tribble on April 07, 2019, 06:52:39 PM
That's what that smell is?
Androstenol, with production linked to testosterone levels. Yeah, it seems to me something folks running on estradiol can sense readily. Sensitivity appears to be related to monthly cycle timing in fertile cisgender women.
More weird trivia, that men do but seem utterly unaware of, and I have never heard commented on by women...
Men seek to unconsciously gaze at a spot a bit below the neckline on women. They will say they aren't but they do, they do...
Older men walking along expect that women will step out of their path. Failing to do so produced an interesting reaction when I tested it, where the gent damn near collided with me, looked startled, mumbled "Excuse me", and stepped around me.
Manspreading is a thing, even when walking. Legs apart, arms swinging wide even when moving slowly, men seem to take up twice the space as women on the sidewalk.
Quote from: Michelle_P on April 07, 2019, 08:50:57 PM
Androstenol, with production linked to testosterone levels. Yeah, it seems to me something folks running on estradiol can sense readily. Sensitivity appears to be related to monthly cycle timing in fertile cisgender women.
Ah. I thought it was Axe Body Spray.
;)
You WILL get less respect for your opinions/space (as above)/knowledge/just about everything.
There's a good chance that animals will appreciate you more. A lot of cats and dogs I've known hated men but have always loved me and all other women around. As a matter of fact, during the last few years, I haven't gotten estrogen due to my bigotry-induced menopause and my own cats have spent very little time on my lap. On the other hand, once I started taking it again a little over two weeks ago, they've been on my lap constantly again. They don't lay on my husband's lap at all, ever.
Quote from: Michelle_P on April 07, 2019, 08:50:57 PMOlder men walking along expect that women will step out of their path. Failing to do so produced an interesting reaction when I tested it, where the gent damn near collided with me, looked startled, mumbled "Excuse me", and stepped around me.
That's interesting, Michelle. I wonder how many of these "unspoken but just known" standards there are.
This one that you mentioned is of particular interest to me, because I've noticed the same thing going the other way. I spend a lot of time walking for exercise at the local mall, sometimes when stores are open. I don't pass; and, many times, one or more young cis women will cross my path, forcing me to stop or change direction to avoid running into them. It's as if they see a male and assume he'll give way. The few times I haven't stood aside, I've been met with surprise.
Quote from: Michelle_P on April 07, 2019, 08:50:57 PM
Manspreading is a thing, even when walking. Legs apart, arms swinging wide even when moving slowly, men seem to take up twice the space as women on the sidewalk.
After I had my orchi, I started to walk more like models, almost one foot in front of he other. I do not do that on purpose, it just happened and I watched myself with surprise doing this! It could be with this stuff missing between my legs, I can get them closer together and walk like this, too?
Now that all the T seems to have left my system, I feel way more feminine than I ever did before!
Quote from: Rachel on April 07, 2019, 05:08:25 PM
You can smell testosterone on a guy from 5 feet away. A gaggle of guys and you can smell it when entering into a room.
How would you describe the scent?
There's one guy at work who has a strong musty smell to him. The other guys just smell sweaty, like how my arm pits used to smell after work.
Quote from: Dietlind on April 07, 2019, 10:28:02 PM
After I had my orchi, I started to walk more like models, almost one foot in front of he other. I do not do that on purpose, it just happened and I watched myself with surprise doing this! It could be with this stuff missing between my legs, I can get them closer together and walk like this, too?
Now that all the T seems to have left my system, I feel way more feminine than I ever did before!
That might be for some, but I know I've generally walked one-foot-in-front-of-the-other my entire life. Enough so that I've wondered if certain fitness equipment is actually really,
really bad for people's knees. My own orchi did not have an effect on the way I walk, then again, our details may differ.
Ann, when you're experiencing the reactions you're getting with women, how are you presenting? I hate to even bring this up, but you say you don't pass, could it be a power play? People, in general, are jerks. I will say that no one has ever felt the need to move out of my path. Not men, women...no one. Before or after transition.
Quote from: Tribble on April 07, 2019, 10:55:18 PM
I will say that no one has ever felt the need to move out of my path. Not men, women...no one. Before or after transition.
Can size matter here? I am 6', and most men and women move to the side for me, because I don't. Do they sense this? I did not move when I presented male, and did not change this now as female!
Quote from: Dietlind on April 07, 2019, 10:59:44 PM
Can size matter here? I am 6', and most men and women move to the side for me, because I don't. Do they sense this? I did not move when I presented male, and did not change this now as female!
Maybe. I'm 5'7" and I think I've only shrunk about an inch in the last 16 years if that. I was also never very forceful in my presence and generally "polite", so you may just be right.
I have learned that the bigger your breasts get, the less you show them off. ::)
Larger breasts limit the clothes you can wear... anything with a high waist will make you look fairly thick if you're the least bit "endowed". :-\
Like bra size, shoe size is subject to interpretation... ???
How effective deference really is in the work place :)
I use it wisely !
How great it feels to hike and bike post op, it's a subtle difference, but wow does it ever remind me how glad I am to have a vagina !
Having men's attention, It was something I had to get used to at my age. I like girls mostly and am married, men are far more friendly today, and it's an adjustment. I usually always let them speak first...
C -
Quote from: Artesia on April 07, 2019, 10:54:12 PM
How would you describe the scent?
There's one guy at work who has a strong musty smell to him. The other guys just smell sweaty, like how my arm pits used to smell after work.
In my experience it's a musky scent.
Quote from: Dietlind on April 07, 2019, 10:59:44 PM
Can size matter here? I am 6', and most men and women move to the side for me, because I don't. Do they sense this? I did not move when I presented male, and did not change this now as female!
This seems more like a dominance thing. I tend to get out of the way if I can continue to move. If it looks like I'll have to stop I'll literally stare them down and keep moving because I consider it rude to obstruct or impede my flow to the point where I would have to stop. I will not tolerate it and my claws come out.
Quote from: NatalieRene on April 08, 2019, 07:19:51 AM
If it looks like I'll have to stop I'll literally stare them down and keep moving because I consider it rude to obstruct or impede my flow to the point where I would have to stop. I will not tolerate it and my claws come out.
Size without showing claws, seems to work well enough for me. I tend to wear heels between 2" to 4" high, and that, of course also helps with size, and makes me taller than many men!
I also think it has to do a lot with determination, I am a very assertive person in all walks of life, I don't know if others can sense this? If not, they better be fast learners!
Quote from: Dietlind on April 07, 2019, 10:28:02 PM
After I had my orchi, I started to walk more like models, almost one foot in front of he other. I do not do that on purpose, it just happened and I watched myself with surprise doing this! It could be with this stuff missing between my legs, I can get them closer together and walk like this, too?
Now that all the T seems to have left my system, I feel way more feminine than I ever did before!
This is fascinating; thanks for sharing!
I haven't had any surgery; but something really wonderful in this vein occurred about a month ago. When I go walking, I listen to music; and, for some reason, listening to Abba makes me feel really feminine. I was just walking along, feeling girly, when I noticed I was walking with my toes pointed straight ahead, which isn't "natural," at least for me. The effect is similar to wearing heels: the hips sway more than usual, giving me an altogether more delicious gait. And this was completely unconscious!
Since then, I've been trying to pep up my walk. I found a great video on YouTube that shows how models walk; proper posture helps to emphasize the breasts, which is a great help to my figure, at present. :) The one point at which I refuse to conform is in the hip department. Models, apparently, are supposed to keep their hips straight. Well, not this girl! My presentation needs all the help it can get!
Quote from: Tribble on April 07, 2019, 10:55:18 PMAnn, when you're experiencing the reactions you're getting with women, how are you presenting? I hate to even bring this up, but you say you don't pass, could it be a power play? People, in general, are jerks. I will say that no one has ever felt the need to move out of my path. Not men, women...no one. Before or after transition.
I never thought of that. I just thought they were disrespecting me because of my genetics. I think this used to happen before I transitioned, too; so, it's not a matter of female competition. I suppose it could be simple rudeness and not gender-related. I've always been sensitive to female prerogatives; I felt discriminated against when I still thought I was male. There was probably no small amount of envy involved.
Quote from: Dietlind on April 08, 2019, 08:32:29 AM
Size without showing claws, seems to work well enough for me. I tend to wear heels between 2" to 4" high, and that, of course also helps with size, and makes me taller than many men!
I also think it has to do a lot with determination, I am a very assertive person in all walks of life, I don't know if others can sense this? If not, they better be fast learners!
I don't have that sort of size to command that kind of thing. I have since learned just get too close for comfort and people will move. It works at the airport for getting power outlets and it works getting down crowded halls to get to the gate to make a connection.
Carry on luggage can be used like the thing on the front of the train to push stragglers out of the way. Just say excuse me and push your way right through without stopping.
And that shows that you are sure of yourself, confident and assertive! Good girl!@ :angel:
Quote from: Dietlind on April 08, 2019, 12:04:54 PM
And that shows that you are sure of yourself, confident and assertive! Good girl!@ :angel:
I've been told I'm pushy but that person just missed the connection and I didn't. 8)
Quote from: NatalieRene on April 08, 2019, 12:07:29 PM
I've been told I'm pushy but that person just missed the connection and I didn't. 8)
As I said, good girl! ;D
Pushy. Bossy. Bitchy.
:icon_rolleyes2:
Quote from: Tribble on April 08, 2019, 12:12:39 PM
Pushy. Bossy. Bitchy.
:icon_rolleyes2:
Just like a really good girl should be! >:-)
:D
Oh, just a tip in case no one has said anything to any of you in the past. I actually learned it from my ex-wife.
When exiting a store, especially at night, get your keys out before you leave on your way out to your car. Not only will you be able to get into your car faster, but you also have a built-in weapon, if necessary. That is, if your car has keys...
Quote from: Tribble on April 08, 2019, 12:59:25 PM
:D
Oh, just a tip in case no one has said anything to any of you in the past. I actually learned it from my ex-wife.
When exiting a store, especially at night, get your keys out before you leave on your way out to your car. Not only will you be able to get into your car faster, but you also have a built-in weapon, if necessary. That is, if your car has keys...
And that is the problem with many cars now, no keys. I have set my keyles that it opens the drivers door only, so nobody can slip in while I get in!
I used to have a concealed carry permit, but let it expire, because my pistol felt to heavy to carry around with me. Now that I have a purse on me all t time, I wonder if I should renew my permit and carry my pistol with me?
Any lady here who carries a gun around all the time?
If your car doesn't have keys, then just get out your house/apartment/etc. keys. I did this all of the time when I walked home from college. I think I started it when I had to walk at night, but then I just ended up doing it all of the time.
Quote from: Dietlind on April 08, 2019, 01:16:23 PM
And that is the problem with many cars now, no keys. I have set my keyles that it opens the drivers door only, so nobody can slip in while I get in!
I used to have a concealed carry permit, but let it expire, because my pistol felt to heavy to carry around with me. Now that I have a purse on me all t time, I wonder if I should renew my permit and carry my pistol with me?
Any lady here who carries a gun around all the time?
Mine has a switchblade style key but it's much too expensive to risk using. My bare hands do just fine although I had training. Honestly if you find yourself in a fight or flight situation the best choice is to run.
Quote from: NatalieRene on April 08, 2019, 02:22:05 PM
Mine has a switchblade style key but it's much too expensive to risk using. My bare hands do just fine although I had training. Honestly if you find yourself in a fight or flight situation the best choice is to run.
And that is the best advice, but if you're grabbed from behind and can't land a kick, having something sharp-ish in your hands might help.
Quote from: Tribble on April 08, 2019, 02:45:26 PM
And that is the best advice, but if you're grabbed from behind and can't land a kick, having something sharp-ish in your hands might help.
Lean back and hit the person with your head. Pull their finger backwards if you can get it or go dead weight and then buck back up on them. You'll hit their head or upper torso and ring their bell.
You can also stoomp on their foot or bite their hand.
My personal favorite is to push them back and smash them into a wall and if there is anything nearby I can get leverage with my feet I can smash them again. You should be able to break free at that point and knee them a few times before running.
On a good day. At the moment, I'm on crutches for long enough to have been given a handicap tag and am not very mobile at all. I'd probably fall down in excruciating pain if I were to try to run on this foot.
Oh, which brings up something that even most cis women don't necessarily know...if you no longer produce T due to orchi or GRS, DO NOT go long-term without E. My foot is badly broken right now because I was clearing snow, moved wrong, and my brittle bone on the top of my foot simply shattered.
Quote from: Tribble on April 08, 2019, 04:46:06 PM
On a good day. At the moment, I'm on crutches for long enough to have been given a handicap tag and am not very mobile at all. I'd probably fall down in excruciating pain if I were to try to run on this foot.
Oh, which brings up something that even most cis women don't necessarily know...if you no longer produce T due to orchi or GRS, DO NOT go long-term without E. My foot is badly broken right now because I was clearing snow, moved wrong, and my brittle bone on the top of my foot simply shattered.
I am so sorry. I hope that your foot heals.
Thank you. I didn't say that for sympathy, but instead to say that we should always be prepared depending on our situations.
You know.. a high heel would make an effective weapon... my mother stood on my hand in heels once by mistake and oh.. oh my... I still remember how loudly I screamed (I was only like 9?)
You know, I can't say i've ever smelled testosterone but to be fair, I have very low estrogen in my system and a terrible sense of smell. (hey I wonder if low estrogen was why I had like NO sense of smell for years... huh... )
I have learned lately that carrying everything in pockets is kinda annoying. I think i'll be keeping a bag, I have an army satchel in the attic that's relatively "manly" lol. I can't do without having a bag full of tissues and painkillers and my inhaler and all the other junk I kinda NEED.
Husband actually uses a backpack most of the time.
Mens clothing has more consistant sizing BUT it's not always consistant! I always assumed it would be but nope. Primark runs a good size smaller than any other store.
So a 34 becomes a 36 waist.
Boo.
I actually asked a guy in the store if he'd noticed this and he nodded and said "yep, that's Primark"
Men's trousers are SO COMFORTABLE OMG.
Why didn't anyone tell me this!?? And pockets! Guys.. guys.. POCKETS! Pockets you can fit your hands into! that are at a comfortable height to put said hands into.
Ooooo pockets! I love you.
I can't keep my hands outta them lol.
Ties come in different sizes!?
A men's "small" still appears to have been designed for a man at least 5'10" and any guy under the height of 5'8" apparently knows well the annoyance of everything being way too long.
And ladies. you stay "pushy" and assertive! Stay feisty!
Quote from: F_P_M on April 08, 2019, 05:45:46 PM
Men's trousers are SO COMFORTABLE OMG.
Why didn't anyone tell me this!?? And pockets! Guys.. guys.. POCKETS! Pockets you can fit your hands into! that are at a comfortable height to put said hands into.
Ooooo pockets! I love you.
I can't keep my hands outta them lol.
Ties come in different sizes!?
I used to wear cargo pants most of the time, I could transport my entire household around in them. Specifically Dockers have organizing pockets inside the pockets, just like in a female purse.
And no, ties are mostly the same size, cheaper ones may be a little shorter, because hey wanted to save the extra fabric I guess.
And you seem to be on the best way to become a tough guy! We need that, because I need a replacement in the guys world!
Quote from: F_P_M on April 08, 2019, 05:45:46 PM
You know.. a high heel would make an effective weapon... my mother stood on my hand in heels once by mistake and oh.. oh my... I still remember how loudly I screamed (I was only like 9?)
You know, I can't say i've ever smelled testosterone but to be fair, I have very low estrogen in my system and a terrible sense of smell. (hey I wonder if low estrogen was why I had like NO sense of smell for years... huh... )
I have learned lately that carrying everything in pockets is kinda annoying. I think i'll be keeping a bag, I have an army satchel in the attic that's relatively "manly" lol. I can't do without having a bag full of tissues and painkillers and my inhaler and all the other junk I kinda NEED.
Husband actually uses a backpack most of the time.
Mens clothing has more consistant sizing BUT it's not always consistant! I always assumed it would be but nope. Primark runs a good size smaller than any other store.
So a 34 becomes a 36 waist.
Boo.
I actually asked a guy in the store if he'd noticed this and he nodded and said "yep, that's Primark"
Men's trousers are SO COMFORTABLE OMG.
Why didn't anyone tell me this!?? And pockets! Guys.. guys.. POCKETS! Pockets you can fit your hands into! that are at a comfortable height to put said hands into.
Ooooo pockets! I love you.
I can't keep my hands outta them lol.
Ties come in different sizes!?
A men's "small" still appears to have been designed for a man at least 5'10" and any guy under the height of 5'8" apparently knows well the annoyance of everything being way too long.
And ladies. you stay "pushy" and assertive! Stay feisty!
It's so cool to hear the perspective coming from the other transition direction.
When I left men's jeans behind, they had basically zero stretch. It was annoying, but I guess I was used to it. Then I wore women's jeans and almost all of them had stretch! Whoa! So amazing! So comfortable and movable!
Okay, yeah, the lack of pocket depth (or pockets, at all!!!) is a bit annoying, but we have other ways of carrying stuff, so I guess there's that. Still, I used to just rest my hands in my pockets when I didn't know what to do with them. Oh, well.
Then I detransitioned. I hadn't realized that some men's jeans had developed stretch. Those weren't the ones I got. No, I got the old kind with zero stretch, whatsoever. UGH!!! I could hardly move! I did end up finding some Levi's with stretch, so, of course, I asked for those from my mom for the holidays last year. Of course, I had no idea there were versions of the same model that had stretch and versions that did NOT! Guess which ones she bought!!!
So, I guess what this whole retransitioning thing is all about is to get reliable stretch jeans again. ;) :P
I never did learn how to tie a tie. My wife always did mine (when I was
forced to wear one for special events). Guess I need to learn now in case my husband needs to wear one. :D
Quote from: NatalieRene on April 08, 2019, 04:37:36 PM
Lean back and hit the person with your head. Pull their finger backwards if you can get it or go dead weight and then buck back up on them. You'll hit their head or upper torso and ring their bell.
You can also stoomp on their foot or bite their hand.
My personal favorite is to push them back and smash them into a wall and if there is anything nearby I can get leverage with my feet I can smash them again. You should be able to break free at that point and knee them a few times before running.
There are also several pressure points in the wrist and side you are able to reach if grabbed from behind without having your arms pinned. One of my favorite things was reaching back and grabbing their ears while slamming my head back into them. Sadly, loss of shoulder mobility has removed that one from me. Pick their nose for them, if you shove hard enough it will do some damage, and even a minor insert is disorienting; if they have a nose ring even better. If you're wearing heels, the knees are fairly susceptible to damage from a sharp impact. It takes 45 pounds of pressure per square inch to break a human bone, fractures to the knees will hamper pursuit. If you happen to be a gamer geek such as me, your dice bag makes a wonderful sap, and when you flee the dice make great caltrops, especially the 4 sided. I keep two metal six sided die in mine. Hair spray makes suitable mace. Air horns at close range can rupture eardrums, which will temporarily mess with ones balance. Aerosol cans and a lighter make wonderful flame throwers. All the junk in the purse gives it some decent weight, if you choose one with metal nubs on it, it makes a fair flail. Your, long, purse strap makes a decent garrote. Old style hair pins make decent thrusting knives, not so good for knife fighting.
Ears, eyes, nose, throat, gut, crotch, knees, feet. Remember these targets, it may be useful one day. Hopefully you never need to use them.
Sorry, but being jumped once was enough for me, not going to let it happen again.
Quote from: Ann W on April 07, 2019, 10:14:19 PM
This one that you mentioned is of particular interest to me, because I've noticed the same thing going the other way. I spend a lot of time walking for exercise at the local mall, sometimes when stores are open. I don't pass; and, many times, one or more young cis women will cross my path, forcing me to stop or change direction to avoid running into them. It's as if they see a male and assume he'll give way. The few times I haven't stood aside, I've been met with surprise.
I don't think it's a "passing" thing. Many women just expect others to get out of their way. If neither of you move, you will crash. I've asked my CIS friends about this and they agree with me.
Quote from: KarynMcD on April 14, 2019, 06:25:23 AM
I don't think it's a "passing" thing. Many women just expect others to get out of their way. If neither of you move, you will crash. I've asked my CIS friends about this and they agree with me.
I am one of the women who will not get out of the way! I am tall enough to impress most others, and it works all the time! Why should I move, others can move as good as I could do it!
I don't know where you all live with all these narrow side walks. lol I don't really remember any jousting events with anyone. I will say that age plays a big part in what I do. If I meet an older person, male or female, I let them go first in a doorway or whatever.
It used to be an easy call if someone drops something, I jump up and get it for them. Now, it depends who does it. It they are older, easy call, I get it. Struggling with a baby, easy call. I woman my age or younger, not so much. A guy, if he's hot, I dive for it. Just kidding. I'm usually busy falling on the floor so he can help me up. My little way to draw his attention to what he dropped so he can get it himself. >:-)
I noticed as a woman that guys speak in a softer voice to me than before. (Guys that I know.)
Quote from: F_P_M on April 08, 2019, 05:45:46 PM
Men's trousers are SO COMFORTABLE OMG.
Why didn't anyone tell me this!?? And pockets! Guys.. guys.. POCKETS! Pockets you can fit your hands into! that are at a comfortable height to put said hands into.
Ooooo pockets! I love you.
I can't keep my hands outta them lol.
I thought the exact same thing about leggings.
Cargo pants were great once I needed to carry a phone and reading glasses everywhere.
Honestly, the only time I really use pockets now is when golfing.
Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk
Quote from: HappyMoni on April 14, 2019, 08:33:28 AMI noticed as a woman that guys speak in a softer voice to me than before. (Guys that I know.)
Teller at bank telling male customer at his counter in deep, masculine voice: "Please move over to the side."
(I'm assuming they needed to take care of some business that couldn't be taken care of at the counter and the teller wanted to move the line (me) along.)
Teller to me (full boy-mode)(softens voice and raises pitch): "Come on up! How can I help you?" with a gentle smile on his face.
The male-fails just keep coming! :D
Guys definitely speak in a softer voice to me now. At times they also try to tease me like I'm a little girl. I was buying a bottle of water at a convenience store recently and the cashier was teasing me telling me that it was 100 dollars. I'm pretty sure he wouldn't have done that to a male. Another time I was at the car was waiting for my car to come through watching the cars go through the brushes through the glass. A random guy came up to me and asked "did you lose your car?" I giggled it off.
I have mixed emotions because it does feel validating but those aren't positive ways for guys to treat women.
Other women definitely speak differently to me. Purchasing clothing is always fun. As my pieces are being wrung up there always seems to be a comment or conversation about "this cute top", etc.