It's so hard to pick up and move forward knowing all my former history at Susan's is gone. A little history.
61 years old, living in north western NJ. Have a small farm and 2 horses. Also run a small home improvement company with a couple of employees.
Came out as trans MTF, in June 22 to my wife and a few friends. Circle grew and by Feb 23, I was out 100%. Started HRT on 8-25-22. Went through the usual thinning of skin, breast growth, greatly reduced muscle mass and strength. Lost weight, gained most of it back, trying to loose it again. Dam holidays! Hands and feet cold all the time now. Working hard on my voice which is very hard, even after a lot of professional training. I train every day but quickly forget and go back to my old voice when in conversation.
Coming out at a mature age was a bit challenging especially when living in the same small town all my life and now 61. I also own and run my own small business where my customers all know me by my male name. Been married to a wonderful wife for 35 years. How she is coping with this is beyond me. Almost all the people I have told and felt with have been very kind and understanding. If they say anything negative its behind my back and quite frankly who cares what they think.
I grew up in the 60-70s where parents felt a good spanking/beating would fix all my problems. I had a control freak mother who criticized everything from don't sit with your legs together, every body posture meant something, come your hair this way, wear these clothes, etc.. You don't want to be like 'THEM' do you? Always watching through a crack in the door to see what I was doing. It's amazing how much pain those early years effect, us the rest of our lives. Even writing this brings back many bad memories. Nuff said.
More about me. I love horseback ridding and own 2 horses which I love trail ridding whenever my wife and I get the chance. Fishing is another love which I don't get to as much as I would like. Something about being out in the woods or on the water that's good for the soul.
Transitioning: Started counseling before coming out, which helped greatly. HRT through an Endocrinologist. Have my bottom surgery, (vaginoplasty) scheduled for June 12 with Dr. Keith. Having hair removal for that done now. Having some hemeroids banded and fixed now per plastic surgeons advice. And in the process of getting the official name change done with a Feb date before the judge. So that's my life in a nutshell.
Nice to see you back dear, must do a potted intro in my blog.
Hey, Gina. Nice start to the new blog. In a few months, it will be many pages long and we'll probably forget about the "crash."
I am glad for the recap. Over the time I have been here, I have gotten a little muddied in my memory of everyone's background. I think I have mixed some stories and people up.
I do think that it's nice that we're all doing these recaps. As an admitted comic nerd, it's akin to all the title relaunches the big companies do... hoping that by taking established characters and starting over with a new issue #1 will attract new readers. ;D
Quote from: Gina P on January 06, 2024, 09:20:25 AMI grew up in the 60-70s where parents felt a good spanking/beating would fix all my problems. I had a control freak mother who criticized everything from don't sit with your legs together, every body posture meant something, come your hair this way, wear these clothes, etc.. You don't want to be like 'THEM' do you? Always watching through a crack in the door to see what I was doing. It's amazing how much pain those early years effect, us the rest of our lives. Even writing this brings back many bad memories.
Sweet Athena, that's brutal, Gina. B-R-U-T-A-L. I too struggled to move and sit like a boy. I collected doilies and rhinestones in a cigar box. A cigar box is the perfect place to hide your feminine self. Anyway, back to you: Your childhood reminds me of one of those creepy black and white movies where a woman turns a home into Hell on Earth.
Quote from: Gina P on January 06, 2024, 09:20:25 AMSomething about being out in the woods or on the water that's good for the soul.
The woods and water are also perfect cover for a boy who's actually a girl. In the woods and on the water, there isn't anyone expecting you to behave like a boy, but when you're in the woods and on the water, everyone thinks you're behaving exactly like a boy.
Quote from: Gina P on January 06, 2024, 09:20:25 AMAlways watching through a crack in the door to see what I was doing.
^This^ is so twisted. She was the antithesis of what a mother should be.
Yes she was a bit of a freak who felt I never did anything of merit. Even after starting my own company and having over 1/2 million in sales, she said you just fell into that. As if I hadn't done anything. Built my own house, with my own hands, electric, plumbing, roof and everything else in between, nothing special. Built a 2 story horse barn, again no big deal. Learned to fix equipment, rebuild car and truck/ tractor motors, no big deal to her. Built and paid for a large gazebo for thier anniversary 15 x15, she wanted arch trim pieces added. Installed a new heating system and zoned the heat in thier home. Put a new motor in dads truck, replaced the clutch in thier car, built a nice brick sidewalk with a garden arch in thier front yard. The list goes on and on. Then before she died, she changes her will to give the lazy granddaughter the farm. Too much pain here.
Sorry I'm just venting. Its one of those emotional days. I really should just move to another state. Far, far away. Thanks O & C and the rest for being understanding.
Gina
Even after starting my own company and having over 1/2 million in sales.
Big deal.
Built my own house, with my own hands, electric, plumbing, roof and everything else in between.
Something special.
Built a 2 story horse barn.
Big deal.
Learned to fix equipment, rebuild car and truck/ tractor motors.
Big deal.
Built and paid for a large gazebo for their anniversary 15 x15, she wanted arch trim pieces added. Installed a new heating system and zoned the heat in their home. Put a new motor in dads truck, replaced the clutch in their car, built a nice brick sidewalk with a garden arch in their front yard.
Big deal. Big deal. Big deal. Big deal.
Then before she died, she changes her will to give the lazy granddaughter the farm. Too much pain here.
Shameful. I understand your pain. And I am ashamed of her and proud of you.
Thanks O & C for an understanding ear(eyes). Afraid I over did it yesterday moving some stuff out of the my mom's barn to my shop. Last night my bad hip decided to let me know I had overdone it, and I couldn't walk to the bedroom. I have a crutch in the basement but navigating the steps is a bit scary when I can barely walk. I opened my mouth a few days ago about how even though the doctors said it needs replacement I haven't had a lot of pain lately. I should learn to keep my mouth shut.
I have another appointment with the proctologist today to band another hemeroid. The plastic surgeon doing my bottom surgery asked that they be fixed before the big day. It's a pain in the but but needs to be done.
Gina
I feel for you dear, had to climb in the Austin to reach some fixings and after grovelling on the floor as well my left leg is refusing to work correctly. Just walked to the shop and I was glad to get back home and sit down
I took a couple of Motrin this morning and struggled down to the basement to retrieve the crutch. It helped till the Motrin kicked in. Feeling much better now and able to walk. Last night the pain was so intense I was getting sick to my stomach.
It is that time of year when the Snow Geese are hear in great numbers. We are on one of the wintering grounds where thousands congregate. It is so amazing to see the sky filled with thousands as they fly from a local reservoir to feed in the local farm fields. when they are feeding the sound is deafening and can be heard for miles.
Getting old is hard. I am right there with you, going through similar pains.
If you need a hip, I'd say go for it.
Quote from: Oldandcreaky on January 07, 2024, 11:23:41 AMEven after starting my own company and having over 1/2 million in sales.
Big deal.
Built my own house, with my own hands, electric, plumbing, roof and everything else in between.
Something special.
Built a 2 story horse barn.
Big deal.
Learned to fix equipment, rebuild car and truck/ tractor motors.
Big deal.
Built and paid for a large gazebo for their anniversary 15 x15, she wanted arch trim pieces added. Installed a new heating system and zoned the heat in their home. Put a new motor in dads truck, replaced the clutch in their car, built a nice brick sidewalk with a garden arch in their front yard.
Big deal. Big deal. Big deal. Big deal.
Then before she died, she changes her will to give the lazy granddaughter the farm. Too much pain here.
Shameful. I understand your pain. And I am ashamed of her and proud of you.
I started to respond to your post, but O&C (like always) says it better than I ever could have. All of those things are a big deal, and you should be really proud of yourself and your accomplishments. I'm sorry that she never seemed to acknowledge any of it.
Hugs,
~Sara
Quote from: REM.1126 on January 09, 2024, 04:45:47 PMGetting old is hard. I am right there with you, going through similar pains.
If you need a hip, I'd say go for it.
Thanks Rachael,
I do need a hip. I have went for cortisone shots and have been trying different meds. Since bottom surgery is only 5 months away and they will be putting me in a position that would not be good for a new hip, it will have to wait. I just over did it and it is already getting less painful. As my strength diminishes I find it easier and easier to overdue it and pull or strain something.
Sarah,
Many times growing up it was take your punishment like a man or run and hide. I did a lot of both. Time to rise above nit now.
Hugs Gina
I had another round of hair removal for my upcoming bottom surgery. The technician said she was amazed that I never flinched. Honestly I didn't thing it was that painful. I had her do my hair below my belly button as well. The skin feels so soft now its amazing. I will have to start getting some done on other parts soon, as I'm so impressed with the results.
At work: I was forced to relieve my wife of some of her duties with the business after making another big mistake. One of many. I have been forced to assume much of her duties which add a lot of work and stress to my life. I work so hard to save a buck where ever I can then she just drops $3500 in one oops. Some days I feel so emotional I wish I could just cry but I am not able to.
I had my counseling last night which always helps. I have stretched out the period to only once a month which is not nearly enough. I am in the process of getting my official name change. One of the forms has to be mailed at least 20 days prior to the hearing. I have been trying to mail it for over a month and every time I start looking for an envelope all heck breaks loose and I put it off for another day. Yesterday was no exception except it was 20 days till the court date. Dog goes nuts and starts barking, phone rings, no stamps... I finally went to the post office and mailed it though.
I must have the best customer base in the world. A customer who I hadn't seen in a while says hello but the look on his face showed the confusion. After I finished my work I told him I was now Gina. I was met with congratulations and then, "No sense DICKING around get it done and be happy" We both had a good laugh at his choice of words.
Gina
I had my trans group meeting Saturday night. A different person ran the meeting which made for a much lighter and very fun meeting. I had not been to a meeting since October and many were amazed at how great I looked. It was so uplifting. Seeing myself daily it is hard to see the changes until you look back. I came home feeling great. I open my email Sunday morning and there is the lawyers motion for reimbursement. Then all the bad memories come crashing down on me and I go into a crash. Blow my diet and eat, eat. I also look at places to move to. Dreaming of leaving all this behind.
I was able to fix my boiler Sunday before the cold snap hits. A zone valve had broke and reduced how much heat went into the living room. In the afternoon I cut some fire wood. Heating my home with only firewood saves me a lot of money but requires a great deal of time cutting and feeding the wood.
Gina
Hi Gina,
Sorry to hear about the money troubles.
I am very lucky that our family is wealthy enough to give away real estate to charity and let them deal with it! We have no kids and that would have happened anyway. So why not do it now and save ourselves the hassle? Out of the box thinking that most people would not even consider.
Marion
QuoteI open my email Sunday morning and there is the lawyers motion for reimbursement.
What does ^this^ mean, Gina?
Wood ,keeps you warm 3 times. When you chop it down, when you split it and when you burn it!!!
Try not to stress over things dear, it will be what it will be.
Lovely post, Davina.
Sorry I got in a hurry on my last post. I said the lawyer had petitioned the court for reimbursement. I have had a long standing, drawn out case challanging my later mothers 'Will'. I finally decided to stop after spending $60k on legal expenses. Every so often a new motion would be filed and I relive every bad memory from growing up. Nothing has changed and hopefully this one will refund all my money spent but it still sparks the old memories.
Gina
I am saddened to hear the pain this has caused you. I hope it is over now.
Another rough day. Judge denied the motion. Not totally unexpected since she has never been on our side. Good news is the lawyer wants to appeal and will do fee to be paid only if we win.
Plowed snow yesterday till the plow dropped a bolt on the pivot cylinder. Trip back to the shop to replace, no big deal. Spent a night, Tuesday, up most of the night with insomnia. So very tired all day. Battery finally quit in my work truck so off to the auto zone for a new one. Customer in front of me says take this guy first and points to me. I felt like opening my coat and saying do these tits look like they belong on a guy. Instead I just smiled. Temps have been running in the low teens here so a battery is expected.
Gina
Likely to be an honest mistake in a place like Autozone.
People there are undoubtedly tired and frustrated or they wouldn't be there!
They may even have gendered you correctly and thought "ladies first" but the wrong words came out.
You did the right thing by just smiling.
Marion
Not used my motor since last Sat and -2C this morning, was a bit slow turning over but fired straight up. Trouble with modern cars is the battery draw when standing.
Not bad for a 6-7 year old battery. I would think Chevy would make it easier to install. 1.5 hrs. to remove the air box, water bottle, fender brace, terminal block, battery clamp... All while there is an ample space not being used on the other side of the engine compartment. I think they do it on purpose to prevent the average Joe or Jill from doing any repairs.
Gina
You sure its not French, sound like most French rubbish to me!!
Spent Saturday being lazy. Not like me but it was in the low teens and I didn't want to go outside. Sunday went out to breakfast at IHOP, then to Kohls to exchange a set of PJ's. The new ones are so soft, I just want to hug myself. Both places I was gendered correctly which always feels good. Some days I look in the mirror and the old guy looks back, other days I see Gina. The mind is a strange thing.
I spent most of the afternoon rebuilding the back of my plow truck. When plowing I had backed into a light pole and busted up the wood on the back, knocking out the brake lights. I had built a rack body out of wood for this truck several years ago. Never got around to putting in reverse lights so I made sure and added them this time.
I am now less than 5 months till bottom surgery, which seams like a long time away. I had some fun with a countdown app. seeing how many days or hours, min. seconds till then.
Gina
1. You deserve a little relaxation time. It's good for the body and the spirit
2. That surgery date will be here before you know it!
I did something i have never had the patience to do. I read a book and enjoyed it. My brain is finally calm enough that I can sit for hours on end and read. Before E I would always have to be occupied with something or doing something. I feel like I finally have a life.
Gina
I love your new avatar! So pretty.
I was going through some old photos yesterday and came across this one. My hair was shorter then.
I was doing some shopping in Walmart last night when exiting the clerk always checks the receipt. Afterward she said thank you "mam". Not really being in the moment I quickly thought 'Mam', what? Oh that's right that's me now. Been full time almost a year and still muscle memory in my brain throws me a curve every now and then. It was one of those days, earlier I was working in a DPW building and used the rest room. I looked and there on the wall was a urinal, what's that doing in the ladies room? That's when I realized I had used the mens room.
Gina
Took me a few years to sort my brain out on gendering myself correctly , just the odd slip here and there so not that bad.
I was supposed to have a court hearing tomorrow to have my name change made official but due to some bureaucratic bs its delayed till April. The courthouse had forms which I had to mail certified mail to the statehouse. Part of the form was to be filled in by the court at the hearing(says the courthouse). Statehouse says the form is not filled in and cannot be processed, so could not be mailed back. No form, no hearing. I hate any state agency. I think we have it figured out now, but I have to wait another 7 weeks until the judge has another opening.
Still doing hair removal for the upcoming bottom surgery in June and had the last of 3 hemeroids fixed. Last one was the worst and has been keeping me up the last couple of nights. I hope I get some sleep tonight. Work has been frustrating but we are getting through. I know the sun will come out tomorrow.
Gina
I understand your pain, Gina. A good friend of mine had a hemorrhoidectomy nearly a year ago, and she described just a little of what she went through. I would not even want an enemy to go though that much discomfort. Hemorrhoids truly are a pain in the rear. I hope your recovery goes smoothly, and good luck on getting that paperwork though the system.
Love always -- Jess
I forgot to mention in my last post. My emotions have been all over the place lately. Feeling happy and almost euphoric at times then latter in the day feeling down without any real reason. Does any one else experience mood swings like this? I've been on the rollercoaster for about a month now. Not sure if its HRT related or just the endless cloudy weather we are having
Gina.
Quote from: Gina P on February 01, 2024, 07:52:58 AMI forgot to mention in my last post. My emotions have been all over the place lately. Feeling happy and almost euphoric at times then latter in the day feeling down without any real reason. Does any one else experience mood swings like this? I've been on the rollercoaster for about a month now. Not sure if its HRT related or just the endless cloudy weather we are having
Gina.
Yes. guilty. I do get mood swings.
I believe it is a little bit due to HRT putting me in a more vulnerable place. Which is a positive for me, YMMV. I also believe it is seasonal. Everyone can get winter blues, which I think are "Seasonal Affective Disorder" in medical speak.
hopefully that helps,
Jenn
Quote from: Gina P on February 01, 2024, 07:52:58 AMI forgot to mention in my last post. My emotions have been all over the place lately. Feeling happy and almost euphoric at times then latter in the day feeling down without any real reason. Does any one else experience mood swings like this? I've been on the rollercoaster for about a month now. Not sure if its HRT related or just the endless cloudy weather we are having
Gina.
Hey girl,
Probably both! It's that time of the year when most of us Seattleites throw in the towel, pour a glass of scotch, and plop down in front of the TV with a bowl of Vitamin D gummies.
Hugs,
Brooke
PS: Super happy you joined out group!
Went for a nice trail ride yesterday. Only 5 miles but with my banded hemorrhoids, I felt every step. It was still nice to get out. The weather was in the 40's and sunny, had that spring feel to it. My horse had a touch of spring fever and had lots of go and little whoa. Stopped for some apples at a local farm market, on the way home. I especially like Empire apples and didn't see any so I asked. The owner and his employee get into a discussion about which apples are best for 'HER' meaning me which feels great to be gendered correctly. I settled on Honey Crisp then they found some Empires in the cooler so I now have a bag of both.
Today we take my son and his wife out to dinner for thier birthdays. Always a good time hanging with them.
Had a bite with Courtney on Friday. Her hair is looking great, though I embarrassed her by looking at it in the restaurant. It's so nice to have someone who I can talk to about trans things and gets it.
My business has been a little slow lately, so we are moving the rest of my stuff off the property that used to be my mothers. 40+ years of crap in the barn and I don't want to leave a bit that might be useful behind. Down to a few hundred bales of hay which next week should be out. 350 wood fence posts. Many pieces of angle iron. A snow mobile. The list goes on and on.
The moods have been a little better. I always feel better when Gina gets a chance to dress up and go out.
Gina
I am using my female voice more and more but still struggle and drop back to the old pitch quite often. It's a slow progress but I am making progress.
What a great picture, Gina!
THAT'S what "happiness" looks like!!
Love,
Allie
When we took my son out Sunday, he seamed a bit off. Then he started arguing with his wife at the end of the meal. Yesterday she call me and asked me to call him and try to help him. Finds out he hates me for challanging the estate (will) and making him loose his inheritance. We had a huge blow up and I wound up hanging up on him after he said I don't care.... I borrowed $60k against my house and all he can say is where is mine! He wanted to put in a blacktop driveway this spring. Never mind the $10k I gave him to help buy his house, he has more due him. Argh I hate what money has done to our family.
Hi Gina,
Sorry to hear about the strife with your son, sadly money and family stories are all too common. Hopefully in time everyone will return to civility and realize life is not always easy and predictable.
Hugs,
Brooke
I got the shingles vaccine on Wednesday. The nurse comes into the waiting room and says very loudly 'Gregory'. Argh! I reluctantly get up and once out of the waiting room tell her she has my name wrong. She apologizes.
We pulled the last of my hay out of Moms barn on Wednesday. I have been coughing and sneezing, runny nose, sore throat, muscle aches. Not sure how much was a reaction from the vax and how much from overdoing it but I have felt like I had the flue for the last few days. Feeling a little better today. Still hacking some. We will see. I don't think I will miss the hay fever that comes along with doing hay.
I bought a new bra, 'Fallsweet' padded pushup. Amazing makes my boobs look great. I have a C cup in the same bra, which I fill out nicely but decided to try a B which pushes the girls out the top and on display. Its amazing how good I feel looking in the mirror. Just another conformation that I am on the right path.
Gina
Quote from: Gina P on February 08, 2024, 06:04:49 AMI got the shingles vaccine on Wednesday. The nurse comes into the waiting room and says very loudly 'Gregory'. Argh! I reluctantly get up and once out of the waiting room tell her she has my name wrong. She apologizes.
That happened to me at LabCorp about 6 months ago. Talk about "walk of shame"... I was pretty upset at the time, but I'm glad that it hasn't happened in a long while.
Quote from: Gina P on February 08, 2024, 06:04:49 AMI bought a new bra, 'Fallsweet' padded pushup. Amazing makes my boobs look great. I have a C cup in the same bra, which I fill out nicely but decided to try a B which pushes the girls out the top and on display. Its amazing how good I feel looking in the mirror. Just another conformation that I am on the right path.
That's great, Gina! I'm really glad that you are enjoying "the girls". I don't think I admire mine QUITE as much as Courtney does LOL, but I do find myself looking in the mirror every once in a while thinking, "Wow. It really happened. I'm so happy!" It's really nice to be proud of my body for once in my life.
~Sara
Quote from: TXSara on February 08, 2024, 06:47:58 AMThat's great, Gina! I'm really glad that you are enjoying "the girls". I don't think I admire mine QUITE as much as Courtney does LOL, but I do find myself looking in the mirror every once in a while thinking, "Wow. It really happened. I'm so happy!" It's really nice to be proud of my body for once in my life.
Hey! I resemble that remark! But seriously, positivity about my breasts is pretty much all I have right now. Maybe I'll be singing a different tune once my hair grows in...
Quote from: Gina P on February 08, 2024, 06:04:49 AMI got the shingles vaccine on Wednesday. The nurse comes into the waiting room and says very loudly 'Gregory'. Argh! I reluctantly get up and once out of the waiting room tell her she has my name wrong. She apologizes.
We pulled the last of my hay out of Moms barn on Wednesday. I have been coughing and sneezing, runny nose, sore throat, muscle aches. Not sure how much was a reaction from the vax and how much from overdoing it but I have felt like I had the flue for the last few days. Feeling a little better today. Still hacking some. We will see. I don't think I will miss the hay fever that comes along with doing hay.
I bought a new bra, 'Fallsweet' padded pushup. Amazing makes my boobs look great. I have a C cup in the same bra, which I fill out nicely but decided to try a B which pushes the girls out the top and on display. Its amazing how good I feel looking in the mirror. Just another conformation that I am on the right path.
Gina
Gina,
Is not shingles something that happens mostly to older people? You look pretty and young regardless.
I do have some days when I seem to want to have my breasts to appear more prominent. Unsure why exactly but I do.
I tried a front clasping push up padded bra but it seemed to make my breasts look too big so I returned it. I am a natural B cup.
Chrissy
Quote from: ChrissyRyan on February 08, 2024, 08:31:31 PMGina,
Is not shingles something that happens mostly to older people? You look pretty and young regardless.
Chrissy
I had shingles when I was 16. It formed a band of blisters about 4 inches wide from my sternum to my spine around the left side of my chest. I thought is was poison ivy, but a trip to the doctor resulted in a prognosis of shingles. It was not a pleasant experience. Although shingles is uncommon in younger people, it can strike at any age.
Love always -- Jessica Rose
Quote from: ChrissyRyan on February 08, 2024, 08:31:31 PMGina,
Is not shingles something that happens mostly to older people? You look pretty and young
Thanks Chrissy, I'm 61 and the doc says at 60 it a good idea to get the vax. My father and grandfather both endured shingles and were miserable with it for a month, which is why i decided it might be best to go this route .
The weather is supposed to be near 60 today so as you all know me, off trail riding we go. Hopping for a 9 mile ride at Trexler game preserve. A very hilly ride but always nice.
The hemeroids have mostly healed and I can sit a bit more comfortable.
I was asked by the gas station attendant, "What can I get you mam?" being gendered correctly is so nice. I didn't think it would bother me as much when someone says sir, but as I get further along in transition it does.
Well you only need it if you had chicken pox as the virus lies dormant and reactivates to give shingles as I understand it.
Shingles is NOT something to mess with.
Yes, it's something that is basically related to Chicken pox ... but if you had/didn't have CP it doesn't matter. And it is more prevalent in people over 50, but it can strike at any age.
And while I haven't had it, I can speak to a few things:
1 - my wife and I both got the vaccine. The first part kicked our butts, worse than any other shot we'd ever had. Most likely, we feel, because we just didn't expect it. We had heard people say "it's bad" but people say that about the flu shot, about Covid shots, etc... this one WAS. We were legit sick for 24 hours. The second dose - we were fine. Which was funny because we prepared like it was going to be an apocalypse - bought lots of soup and comfort food, and then... nothing. 😂
2 - that being said, please don't be scared off getting it. While I haven't had it, I do know head pain with my daily cluster headaches and migraines. The only other person I know who has had comparable head trauma is a dear friend who had a brain aneurysm and has had multiple brain surgeries. And SHE once had Shingles - in her eye. And she says Shingles was more painful than her surgeries.
So get vaccinated when your doc tells you.
This has been a message from your friendly neighborhood AMA 😘
Love,
Allie
I echo what Allie said. The shingles vaccine was bad for my spouse and me too and we hadn't been warned, which made it even worse because we hadn't braced for it. As with Allie, the second shot wasn't as bad.
Quote from: Gina P on February 10, 2024, 07:05:12 AMThanks Chrissy, I'm 61 and the doc says at 60 it a good idea to get the vax. My father and grandfather both endured shingles and were miserable with it for a month, which is why i decided it might be best to go this route .
The weather is supposed to be near 60 today so as you all know me, off trail riding we go. Hopping for a 9 mile ride at Trexler game preserve. A very hilly ride but always nice.
The hemeroids have mostly healed and I can sit a bit more comfortable.
I was asked by the gas station attendant, "What can I get you mam?" being gendered correctly is so nice. I didn't think it would bother me as much when someone says sir, but as I get further along in transition it does.
Gina,
It is always nice to be treated as a woman. Much of the time I am accepted although I think there are some "smiles of perhaps things are not what the appear" by some. So be it but I admit it is disheartening at times. I was simply born with the wrong body and it is not that easy to remedy that. Onward though I say to myself.
Horses are beautiful animals. I hope you have a wonderful ride today.
Chrissy
Went ridding at Trexler game preserve in PA, Saturday. Rode 10.6 miles. I was wore out and crashed when we got home. Crossed streams, up mountains and down, then back up, over and over... They were feeding the bison when we went by. The bison came running to get the hay which spooked our horses and my wife was thrown. She is a little sore but ok. I took a minute to walk the horses over to the fence where they stood nose to nose checking the bison out. (nothing to fear here) The weather was close to 60 deg. here are 3 covered bridges all within a few miles of there. All in all it was a nice ride.
I had counseling Friday. We discussed my fear of using my female voice in public and how it is just like the first times presenting in public. "If someone has a problem with it its theirs NOT YOURS", was his response. I had not seen the similarity before and I hope this gives me more courage to use my female voice. After months of voice coaching I was doing good at the secessions but when out struggled. I found out I didn't want to sound like a gay man. And yes I was/am worried about what others might think. One more hurtle to overcome.
Gina
(about:invalid)
Sorry to hear that your wife got thrown, and I'm glad she is OK. It sounds like it was a beautiful ride.
It's interesting how words change meaning over time. Many years ago, describing someone as 'gay' was a compliment:
From Webster's Dictionary, circa 1828:
GAY, adjective
1. Merry; airy; jovial; sportive; frolicksome. It denotes more life and animation than cheerful.
Belinda smiled, and all the world was gay
Maybe one day that will again become the preferred definition, when people finally realize that loving who they are and loving who they want to love really does make them 'merry, jovial, and frolicksome'.
Love always -- Jessica Rose
I hope I didn't offend anyone with the word 'Gay'. I was meaning I didn't want to sound like a man with that over the top effeminate like voice. I would just like to sound like a natural female.
I think we all got that my dear.
I played Gina of all trades today and conquered fixing my refrigerator icemaker. First I didn't have clue why it stopped working or how these darn things work. You Tube up! I never did figure out what was wrong but my guess was the motor. I had another one inn the garage fridge but it was slightly different so a little spicing of the wires and presto it works. :)
Had my 4th hair removal for surgery, Wednesday. It defiantly stung a bit as she got close to my rectum. Only 2 more to go there. She has also been doing my hair below my belly button at my request. Its so smooth now its amazing. I need to schedule some for the rest of my body.
Hi Gina,
Great to hear you fixed the icemaker!
We got a foot on snow for fully testing my snow blower repair. Worked just fine!
I was able to clear away all the snow before it froze. Much easier when I can do that.
Marion
Quote from: Gina P on February 15, 2024, 03:14:22 PMI played Gina of all trades today and conquered fixing my refrigerator icemaker. First I didn't have clue why it stopped working or how these darn things work. You Tube up! I never did figure out what was wrong but my guess was the motor. I had another one inn the garage fridge but it was slightly different so a little spicing of the wires and presto it works. :)
Had my 4th hair removal for surgery, Wednesday. It defiantly stung a bit as she got close to my rectum. Only 2 more to go there. She has also been doing my hair below my belly button at my request. Its so smooth now its amazing. I need to schedule some for the rest of my body.
Most ice makers in refrigerators are essentially the same, except those that make pellet ice as opposed to more of a crescent shape. Congratulations on the repair.
It is nice to have smooth areas free of troublesome hair. Good for you Gina!
Chrissy
My icemaker repair was to good, now it doesn't shut off and dumped ice all over the freezer. I must have a wire in the wrong place. We cleaned out the fridge scrubbed it all down while I had it off. Now the temp regulator flap stopped working. I think we should just get a new fridge, but the wife doesn't want to spend the money and instead wants to just buy the part.
I have been brain dead the last week or 2. Forgetting everything just in zombie mode. Had a bit of a cough so I'm guessing a bit of a cold. No drive to do much.
We flipped the mattress on the bed, which was a pillow top. Now is very firm. Very interesting sensation when I lay down on my back, I could feel my boobs bounce up and down on my chest.
Hugs Gina
Still close to 4 months till surgery day, but my mind has been working overtime trying to convince me to call the whole thing off. As I use the spicate to relieve myself behind a tree or in a dirty job Johnny I find myself asking why would I want to squat or sit? Of course the resounding answer is because I have to!! I know I am one of the newer ones in terms of transitioning but patients has never been one of my strong suits. I sometimes feel I am trapped between two worlds. I need to remind myself that I am still making progress and in time all will be done. My breasts continue to grow slowly. My hair is getting so long I have to fluff it up to prevent it from getting stuck under my collar. Teeth are getting fixed and looking better with the braces. Hair removal for surgery is getting done. Hemeroids are all better now.
Troubles are my hip has been bothering me a lot and I know it will need to be replaced very soon. Business has been slow and adds to the stress. Tax time in here and I usually owe a large amount no matter how much we plan for. Work trucks are getting older and should be upgraded but with business slow its not feasible.
Sorry just a little venting.
Gina
Vent away dear, I know what its like running a business. Yup that's the only thing "negative" about the op, I had to get a Portaloo for my workshop instead of the handy bucket!
Sitting here having my morning coffee watching a herd of deer in the woods near my house. I have been sleeping much better now, with the mattress flipped. No more zombie mode. Instead of craving quick energy/calories, I'm back on my diet. Hopping to loose 20lbs in the next few months.
I have my endo appointment on Monday. I must fess up and tell her I upped my Estradoil .1 on my own. The blood tests say it was needed but she didn't order it. I also have been taking Progesterone on and off without her consent. My previous endo had prescribed it which I filled all the prescriptions available, before switching over. This endo is against it and doesn't want my taking any. I think it makes a difference.
Gina
Glad you're sleeping (and eating) better, Gina.
Funny how docs vary on what they think is the right course of treatment when this science is so underdeveloped and less studied than treatment for other conditions. My doc at Plume is more in the "this is what we've had success with but let me know if you feel differently about it and we'll adjust" camp.
Quote from: Courtney G on February 24, 2024, 09:06:37 AMGlad you're sleeping (and eating) better, Gina.
Funny how docs vary on what they think is the right course of treatment when this science is so underdeveloped and less studied than treatment for other conditions. My doc at Plume is more in the "this is what we've had success with but let me know if you feel differently about it and we'll adjust" camp.
Yep, this how mine is too. She's of the mind that "you're a grown-a** woman and you can make your own informed decisions based on the known risks".
I'm glad you are sleeping better as well Gina, that sure can change your perspective on life!
I've had many an argument with my Endo on that subject. Sadly, the VA, like all government agencies, is at least five years behind the rest of the world. They were following the prescribing protocol from 2017 which excludes progesterone. I sent her links to dozens of studies showing the benefits and she responded that the studies were too small to be significant. I asked her point-blank if the fact that transgenders only make up 1% of the population does that mean we are insignificant? Medical journals in China and India dating back thousands of years describe a particular medicine. U.S. FDA: "There is no evidence that this works. The FDA has not evaluated this statement". Sheesh!
That Endo retired from the VA, so I was moved to a Community provider who prescribed progesterone. My sleep patterns improved immediately. Now the VA has decided they want to handle all medical in-house if available. Without warning, they refused to renew my authorization to continue seeing my endocrinologist and set me up to begin care with an in-house Gynecologist. I meet her on Monday (26th).
I worry that as an employee of the VA, she will be forced to follow outdated protocol. However, she just returned from a two-year hiatus traveling in Europe to study Transgender Medicine. So I am hopeful.
I worry that you take the meds "on and off". I don't believe you are doing harm, but meds have a half-life, (amount of time it takes for the body to process them). The prescribing schedule is so that your body maintains an even dose instead of roller-coasting up and down between doses. Oral estradiol has a half-life of 12 hours, so it is usually prescribed so you take one in the morning, and one in the evening to maintain levels. I don't know what the half-life is for progesterone. My concern is not that you are doing something dangerous, but that you might be wasting the medication by not allowing it to work as intended. Feel free to tell me to mind my own business. :-*
Quote from: LoriDee on February 24, 2024, 09:38:37 AMI worry that you take the meds "on and off". I don't believe you are doing harm, but meds have a half-life, (amount of time it takes for the body to process them). The prescribing schedule is so that your body maintains an even dose instead of roller-coasting up and down between doses. Oral estradiol has a half-life of 12 hours, so it is usually prescribed so you take one in the morning, and one in the evening to maintain levels. I don't know what the half-life is for progesterone. My concern is not that you are doing something dangerous, but that you might be wasting the medication by not allowing it to work as intended. Feel free to tell me to mind my own business.
By taking the P on and off. I usually do 3 weeks on 1 week off. I felt that in woman's body these hormones fluctuate with the menstrual cycle. It seamed when I took the same dose continually my body just got used to it. The E fluctuates enough with the rise and fall between injections.
Hi GinaI hope you are well. It's Sunday down here and I was reading your stories. When I came across this:
Quote from: Gina P on February 08, 2024, 06:04:49 AMI got the shingles vaccine on Wednesday. The nurse comes into the waiting room and says very loudly 'Gregory'. Argh! I reluctantly get up and once out of the waiting room tell her she has my name wrong. She apologizes.
I was at my mum's house a couple of years after surgery on holidays from school. I was in the lounge area when all of a sudden she calls me by my 'old name' and I totally ignored her, no reaction from me whatsoever. I heard her mumbling something about me and in a sense I knew she was fuming. She then calls me by my 'new name'. I immediately turn around and say "yes mum". She never ever called me again by my 'old name'.
I said to my family, one by one, I will never answer to my 'old name' ever again and actually come to think of it, they never did.
So all I can say and this is entirely up to you how you respond in the future. Please, Do not ever again respond to your 'old name', unless you really have too or want too. Me personally, I never will respond to my 'old name'.
On a much lighter note, hows the weather where you are, it's raining cats and dogs here for the last 24 hours or so?.
Best Wishes, Love and HugsSarah B@Gina P
Quote from: Gina P on February 24, 2024, 02:48:23 PMBy taking the P on and off. I usually do 3 weeks on 1 week off. I felt that in woman's body these hormones fluctuate with the menstrual cycle. It seamed when I took the same dose continually my body just got used to it. The E fluctuates enough with the rise and fall between injections.
I gotcha. I was thinking take one tonight and skip a few nights. Maybe again next week. I think you are on track. I'll just shut up. ;D
Weather is clear and cool today. Supposed to get up to 40deg. My wife is a little sick with a cold today so I think I will make use of the nice weather and go on a solo trail ride.
My official name is still Greg, so its hard not to answer when its used. Still on my health insurance, doctor visits etc. I do have the preferred name filled is but....Pharmacy still asked if Greg is the right prescription. Official name change should be in April and I cant wait. My wife still slips up and dead names me occasionally which I usually ignore her, or say who? She is getting better and said she is home to the dog. I have asked she stops calling me daddy to the animals as well.
Quote from: Gina P on February 25, 2024, 11:06:47 AMWeather is clear and cool today. Supposed to get up to 40deg. My wife is a little sick with a cold today so I think I will make use of the nice weather and go on a solo trail ride.
My official name is still Greg, so its hard not to answer when its used. Still on my health insurance, doctor visits etc. I do have the preferred name filled is but....Pharmacy still asked if Greg is the right prescription. Official name change should be in April and I cant wait. My wife still slips up and dead names me occasionally which I usually ignore her, or say who? She is getting better and said she is home to the dog. I have asked she stops calling me daddy to the animals as well.
Gina,
I hope your wife feels better.
You also do not look like any Greg I have known. Gina is definitely correct!
Chrissy
I had an appointment with my Endo yesterday and fessed up that I had upped the Estradiol .01 and was taking Progesterone from an earlier prescription with an other doctor. She berated me and said she didn't want to be my doctor anymore and I would have to go elsewhere. 10 min of apologizing and kissing butt and she says she will stay on but if it happens again i must go . She is really more of diabetes doctor and many of the things I tell her about transitioning seam to surprise her. I am seriously considering going back to Plume. I have always been a one on one kind of person and not a big fan of online meds but I feel sometimes she is not looking out for my best interest. She is a stick figure and makes popeye's olive look curvy. She defiantly thinks less is more when it comes to hormones and such and seams to not understand the desire for big boobs. I told her about breast tenderness and she thinks this is a problem. I feel its just growing pains. She did refer me to a speech therapist in network, who also does voice surgery, so it was not a complete waste. Much to think about.
I find myself thinking about transitioning all the time not with GD but with desire to move forward, faster. I find it hard to stay focused on work.
I had a nice relaxing trail ride alone on Sunday. I kept it short only 3 miles. My horse was well behaved and did his best. So nice to be out alone with just a horse and the quiet of the woods. I am probably the only rider who puts on makeup for a ride alone in the woods.
Hugs all round Gina
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I am so sorry you are going through this. Every doctor seems to have their own protocol. The VA switched me from Endocrinology, and I had two different doctors in Endo. The first one refused to order progesterone. I sent her 20 articles discussing the benefits. She still refused. When she left the VA, they sent me to a non-VA Endo. She never gave me a chance to ask. She immediately ordered progesterone and upped my Estradiol dosage. The VA changed its policy this year and now requires all medical care to be handled within the VA if that service is available. So they refused to let me continue with that doctor and moved me to see a new doctor in the VA Women's Health Dept.
I had my first appointment with my new doctor yesterday. She is a Gynecologist. However, she just returned from a two-year hiatus in Europe studying transgender care. She spent two hours with me during a one-hour appointment discussing my problems. concerns and goals. She told me that the progesterone issue is currently one that is being heavily debated. She agreed to continue my prescription.
From my point of view, anyone who thinks it should not be prescribed has forgotten basic reproductive biology. They focus on "protecting the uterus" and think that since we don't have one, we are better off without unnecessary medication. They forget what progesterone does to the breasts from puberty through pregnancy to lactation. Since we don't have ovaries, we need it just as much as we need estradiol. [Stepping down from soapbox.]
It truly sucks when you must accept treatment from someone who may be less than 100% qualified, but in my experience, you must be your own advocate. I think that if you can find one, seek out someone with transgender or "integrative medicine" experience.
I am with you, sister.
Hugs
Lori
Quote from: LoriDee on February 27, 2024, 09:00:16 AMI am so sorry you are going through this...seek out someone with transgender or "integrative medicine" experience.
Great points, Lori. I agree 100%.
Thanks Lori and Courtney,
I have never really liked my Endo from the time I started with her and she said she didn't think I would ever come out and really didn't want to prescribe me meds, but since I was already on them she would continue them for now. Problem is there is no gender specialising Endos in the area and none in my insurance network. My only other option is to go with an online provider such as Plume. For now I think I will just stay with her especially with only 4 months till bottom surgery.
Hugs Gina
Yeah, sorry about that whole situation Gina. Obviously finding the right people to join your "team" is such an essential part of this - we are literally building our own support system.
But it's easier said than done when there simply are not qualified professionals in your area/network.
All that being said? It's still important to find a doctor that you like and trust who you feel has your best interest at heart. They may not be an expert in the field, but if they're on your side, they need to be willing to get the info they need to provide you the best possible treatment. Honestly, it's how most GPs work. They aren't experts on EVERYTHING. They learn over the years through experience.
So am I happy you two came to an understanding, and I hope it blossoms into something you feel is a good relationship for you. But if not, I think you just need to find a doctor who you like and connect with — whether it is their expertise or not in a situation where experts are not available.
Good luck!!
Allie
Hi Gina -
Bear with me, on my phone in the office. I will try to do this as best I can...
Insurance is tough. Depending on your state and type of insurance, your rights can vary. A few things I have learned along the way include -
- Many plans have a concierge or single contact feature. You have to ask for one in my experience. A concierge can help connect you with the right care.
- You may be entitled to out of network providers being covered as in network, depending on location. In Massachusetts, it works this way.
- Not surprisingly, it's difficult to get out of network exceptions. The process is call a "gap exception request". stiff like this is why a concierge or single point of contact is pure gold.
As it is, your relationship to your Endo sounds borderline toxic. if it continues as such, maybe she could recommend and refer you to a colleague.
good luck
jenn
Thanks on all the suggestions on the Endo.
Moving on I have an appointment for voice therapy on Monday. Its an evaluation but This therapist also does voice surgery if it need to be. And the best part he/she is in my insurance network. (there is another story here, for another time). I find this is a huge part of my transition that needs to be fixed right now. I had tried a few months of voice training with another teacher but found little success, though she felt I had mastered it.
On other news my wife and I went to the yearly horse expo yesterday. A wonderful day of talks and shopping. I had many comments on my shirt which used to be my wife's. A sort of denim with horses printed on it. As I was dressing she said, because she is dieting, wouldn't it be neat if when i loose enough weight, we can share clothes. That was a super nice gesture and brought a smile to my face. All day talking to vendors and never once misgendered, except for one slip up by my wife when she said HE, referring to me. I found a nice cowgirl hat to replace the delipidated ones I have been wearing. A really nice day, now we are both so sore from all the walking and I have to go back to work.
Gina
Went on a nice 9.5 mile trail ride with the wife yesterday. Weather was in the 60s, just perfect. Horses were wonderful as always. Had several children and thier parents in the parking lot wanting to pet the horses so I gave them short rides around the parking lot. I'm sure it made thier day. Wherever we go the horses always attract a lot of attention. We went to a local reservoir which is a state park. Surrounded by mountains. It is very rocky and hilly terrain plus there were many trees blown down across the trail, 2 of which I had to cut with my folding saw.
I have my voice therapy this morning. I have high hopes. This is a big problem for me right now. Many have said it is confusing because physically I look female but then they hear a mans voice!
Gina
Quote from: Gina P on March 04, 2024, 05:54:12 AMI have my voice therapy this morning. I have high hopes. This is a big problem for me right now. Many have said it is confusing because physically I look female but then they hear a mans voice!
Good Luck Gina! I loved doing voice therapy, mine was in a hugely affirming environment. I like what I think of as "new voice". My voice isn't perfect and set your expectations fairly.
I can't say this enough-- set aside practice time. I had (actually still have, just less often) an alarm on my phone to remind myself to practice. Then practice a little more. Practice is dull but the more you practice the more it works.
~Jenn
Quote from: Jenn104 on March 04, 2024, 07:04:28 AMI can't say this enough-- set aside practice time. I had (actually still have, just less often) an alarm on my phone to remind myself to practice. Then practice a little more. Practice is dull but the more you practice the more it works.
~Jenn
Your voice is an instrument. Voice therapy teaches you how to tune your voice and play different notes. You've been using 'default' settings for decades. As Jenn mentioned, the only way to change the defaults is through practice, practice, and more practice. You may be amazed at what you can do with your voice, but you must have patience... and you must practice.
Love always -- Jessica Rose
Quote from: Jessica_Rose on March 04, 2024, 08:08:10 AMYour voice is an instrument. Voice therapy teaches you how to tune your voice and play different notes. You've been using 'default' settings for decades. As Jenn mentioned, the only way to change the defaults is through practice, practice, and more practice. You may be amazed at what you can do with your voice, but you must have patience... and you must practice.
Love always -- Jessica Rose
^^^^ Yeah, that. Very well said.
Pro tip-- I used positive reinforcement to get in the habit. I wrote out a list of 'rewards', then tracked daily practice with a "V" on a paper calendar. After 7 days I gave myself a reward. After 15 days another reward. After 30 I let my voice therapist pick one. Nothing big-- walking over to get an ice cream cone was one, a manicure another, I think taking a day off of work to enjoy myself was on the list.
Positive reinforcement works with anything that is tedious btw. A good trick for transition-y things in general.
~Jenn
Voice therapist called out sick. I'm waiting for him to reschedule. Is this the patience part?
I did voice training with another person who said I had a very good sounding voice after three months or so of training. She didn't seam to think I needed any more training but said we could work on other things. I could do ok when in her office but when the door shut leaving I always defaulted back to my old voice.
Gina
I am still waiting for my first appointment, so have no idea what to expect. From what I understand, (I do the same thing), you are relaxing into your old habit. The more you practice, the more your mind/body will learn what your new "normal" is. Eventually, that will be your default voice that you relax into. I hope that makes sense.
Keep up the good work, it will pay off. I hope for the day when someone tells me that I don't need any training. ;D
Hugs!
Quote from: LoriDee on March 05, 2024, 09:55:59 AMI am still waiting for my first appointment, so have no idea what to expect. From what I understand, (I do the same thing), you are relaxing into your old habit. The more you practice, the more your mind/body will learn what your new "normal" is. Eventually, that will be your default voice that you relax into. I hope that makes sense.
I was told to practice 3 times a day. I never could find the time to do more than once a day, for about 15min. I'm sure that didn't help. The first voice therapist had me do crazy things like blow thru a straw in water and hum at the same time?? Put a pencil in my mouth and talk trying not to use my tongue.? Any way I became discouraged after 3 months of training and $1200 spent.
The new speech therapist rescheduled for 3 weeks from now.
Gina
Now that I'm retired I can sometimes practice my golf swing several times a day!
It really helps for doing non-intuitive swing changes, like hitting the ball before the ground!
A lot of amateurs hit the ground first, and then the ball, which doesn't work as well.
Short practice sessions at frequent intervals has always worked better that fewer practice sessions that are longer.
I have a lot of experinece with this as I had a stroke and had to re-learn a lot of things.
I had professional speech therapy to modulate my voice.
@Gina PI am still waiting for my first appointment, but I learned a lot from a YouTube channel called TransVoice Lessons. She explains the whole "humming through a straw" and other training exercises. Search for her channel if you want to learn the why and the how. I seem to learn better if I understand why I am doing something. Hugs!
Had my blood work done Tuesday. E = 119 Pg/mL which is down from November of 133
T total = 1.1 pg/mL which is close to steady from November of 0.9
Had a really bad encounter with my employee who I always thought of as a friend. He said many hurtful and hatefull things about my transition. I knew I would encounter some people who don't understand what I'm going through but I wasn't expecting it to come from someone so close. He always pretended to be supportive. I guess that is why it bothers me so much. I told him if he wants to work somewhere else I understand, so I'm not sure if he will leave. His work has been sub par lately anyway so it would not be a big loss. More stress to deal with. Seams it never ends.
Let it flow dear, its their problem not yours. If they leave then that's fine just be amicable .
It may not be entirely his fault. There are "leaders" demonizing gender issues for political gain.
Sometimes all we can do is listen to them rant. Then tell them we understand their feelings and the reasons behind them are because they don't understand the subject. {Tactfully telling them to become educated}. My point is, they lash out at us for any number of reasons. We listen and let them rant and demonstrate how ignorant they are. Yes, it hurts. Sometimes a LOT. But step back a moment at look at that interaction from a third-party view. Who was the better person in that exchange?
You win. It is their loss, and as Davina said, it is their problem, not yours.
Hugs!
I'm sorry to read about the poor response from your employee. It's difficult to know how someone will react. The first co-worker I came out to, a good friend, later stabbed me in the back. I was sure my dad would never want to see me again, but he welcomed me. I had a few people fade away, and I let them go. Some people just aren't worth the effort.
Love always -- Jess
Quote from: Gina P on March 09, 2024, 06:51:30 AMHad a really bad encounter with my employee who I always thought of as a friend. He said many hurtful and hatefull things about my transition. I knew I would encounter some people who don't understand what I'm going through but I wasn't expecting it to come from someone so close. He always pretended to be supportive. I guess that is why it bothers me so much. I told him if he wants to work somewhere else I understand, so I'm not sure if he will leave. His work has been sub par lately anyway so it would not be a big loss. More stress to deal with. Seams it never ends.
That was not nice of him but it apparently was an honest expression of his thoughts. This at least reveals what his true stance is. That is good to know. However this truthful stance of his is unpleasant to know.
Hugs.
Chrissy
The employee called me yesterday and apologized. He is going through some medical issues and blamed it on that. Never the less what's been said has been said and I don't think I will ever be able to confide in him as a friend as before.
I had my monthly trans meeting last night. 20-30 of us talking, sharing. So much love for each other and what we are going through. I left feeling very emotional. On the way home I almost shed a tear, almost! I could feel it welling up in me then something kicked in and suppressed it. I'm not sure if I will ever be able to cry but many times I get very close.
Gina
Quote from: Gina P on March 10, 2024, 08:41:22 AMThe employee called me yesterday and apologized. He is going through some medical issues and blamed it on that. Never the less what's been said has been said and I don't think I will ever be able to confide in him as a friend as before.
I had my monthly trans meeting last night. 20-30 of us talking, sharing. So much love for each other and what we are going through. I left feeling very emotional. On the way home I almost shed a tear, almost! I could feel it welling up in me then something kicked in and suppressed it. I'm not sure if I will ever be able to cry but many times I get very close.
Gina
I am glad that he apologized. I can understand why you would not care to confide in him. Some people are Janus faced (two faced).
We have it hard enough at times as MTFs to simply be ourselves without facing criticism from the those that simply do not understand. Some even the think we are weirdos.
I am a bit weird in little ways I suppose but I do NOT think I am weird because I am MTF. I am just trying to be my true self. However, I can understand why some people think we are weird for being transgender, as most people are not transgender. I do not agree with those that disapprove of us good people.
As long as we are decent, respectable people the fact that we are transgender should not matter. I say it should not matter; but, many in our society as whole apparently seem to disagree, unfortunately.
Hugs,
Chrissy
First of all, Gina, I am very sorry your employee said hurtful things. I am glad he apologized. I understand why that doesn't undo what was done.
Secondly, you are missing out. I don't know why you are unable to cry, but a good cry is sometimes a great release. And, with the stress of transitioning, you can use all of the emotional relief you can get.
One of the sales reps from a company I do business with called last night. I had asked the company to add Gina as a user to the web site and change from Greg to Gina on the return emails. The first words were welcome and the usual glad to have you. Then, "what happened to Greg? Did he leave the company?" I would have cringed at the conversation a year or more ago. Now I find it fun. I said yes, he's gone! To which I got the reply, "Oh". Then after a long pause, I just said he became Gina, to which I got the, "Oh I understand". This man has been my sales rep for over a year and never reached out to me. Now he wants a meeting to discuss ways to increase business. Next I will have to get the picture of myself or of "that guy" changed to my picture.
My scissor lift has been giving me trouble so we pulled the motor off, ordered a brush kit and with a little cleaning of the commutator and some usual trial and error was able to replace the brushes and the lift works better than ever. And saved a lot of money on a new motor.
Just another day in the life of Gina.
Quote from: Gina P on March 13, 2024, 05:56:08 AMOne of the sales reps from a company I do business with called last night. I had asked the company to add Gina as a user to the web site and change from Greg to Gina on the return emails. The first words were welcome and the usual glad to have you. Then, "what happened to Greg? Did he leave the company?" I would have cringed at the conversation a year or more ago. Now I find it fun. I said yes, he's gone! To which I got the reply, "Oh". Then after a long pause, I just said he became Gina, to which I got the, "Oh I understand". This man has been my sales rep for over a year and never reached out to me. Now he wants a meeting to discuss ways to increase business. Next I will have to get the picture of myself or of "that guy" changed to my picture.
My scissor lift has been giving me trouble so we pulled the motor off, ordered a brush kit and with a little cleaning of the commutator and some usual trial and error was able to replace the brushes and the lift works better than ever. And saved a lot of money on a new motor.
Just another day in the life of Gina.
Gina,
It is good to make the right connections for you with others, and this can be satisfying and appropriate.
Good going on making the motor work better.
Chrissy
@Gina P
Dear Gina: "What happened to Greg?" !!!!
I am certain indeed that you will have a "fun" conversation. ;D
Your answer to the sales reps was perfect and it would be interesting
to see the look on the sales rep's face when you replied.
Thank you for keeping your Blog thread updated for me and the
rest of your avid followers.HUGS, DanielleQuote from: Gina P on March 13, 2024, 05:56:08 AMOne of the sales reps from a company I do business with called last night. I had asked the company to add Gina as a user to the web site and change from Greg to Gina on the return emails. The first words were welcome and the usual glad to have you. Then, "what happened to Greg? Did he leave the company?" I would have cringed at the conversation a year or more ago. Now I find it fun. I said yes, he's gone! To which I got the reply, "Oh". Then after a long pause, I just said he became Gina, to which I got the, "Oh I understand". This man has been my sales rep for over a year and never reached out to me. Now he wants a meeting to discuss ways to increase business. Next I will have to get the picture of myself or of "that guy" changed to my picture.
My scissor lift has been giving me trouble so we pulled the motor off, ordered a brush kit and with a little cleaning of the commutator and some usual trial and error was able to replace the brushes and the lift works better than ever. And saved a lot of money on a new motor.
Just another day in the life of Gina.
Quote from: Gina P on March 13, 2024, 05:56:08 AMOne of the sales reps from a company I do business with called last night. I had asked the company to add Gina as a user to the web site and change from Greg to Gina on the return emails. The first words were welcome and the usual glad to have you. Then, "what happened to Greg? Did he leave the company?" I would have cringed at the conversation a year or more ago. Now I find it fun. I said yes, he's gone! To which I got the reply, "Oh". Then after a long pause, I just said he became Gina, to which I got the, "Oh I understand". This man has been my sales rep for over a year and never reached out to me. Now he wants a meeting to discuss ways to increase business. Next I will have to get the picture of myself or of "that guy" changed to my picture.
My scissor lift has been giving me trouble so we pulled the motor off, ordered a brush kit and with a little cleaning of the commutator and some usual trial and error was able to replace the brushes and the lift works better than ever. And saved a lot of money on a new motor.
Just another day in the life of Gina.
Such a perfect reply, Gina!!
So many ways you could have gone inadvertently off-base with that, and opened up a whole different discussion.
Even if you'd just said: "Greg is no longer with us" you 100% would have had that guy calling 1-800flowers and trying to compose a thoughtful card! 😂
So, I am in awe of your deft touch. Makes me certain the meeting will go great!
Love,
Allie
It was another beautiful spring day here in NJ yesterday, 76deg. I had to go to the store so I dressed in turquoise shorts and a butterfly pattern T shirt. Added some butterfly earrings and a butterfly bracelet, turquoise sneakers, even wore a anklet. I had few stares from mostly the older women. One just stopped mouth open and looked me up and down. I smiled in return. Its great to feel good in my skin.
Courtney and I are planning on attending the Keystone Trans conference next week. Should be a lot of fun. I'm looking forward to it. A few of the members from my monthly trans group are doing talks there, and many will be attending. Should be an fun day.
Gina
Quote from: Gina P on March 15, 2024, 06:04:41 AMIts great to feel good in my skin.
That says it all. I am super happy when I see that.
Happy Keystoning. Conferences can be a blast.
~Jenn
A very good friend came over last night. He needed some work done on his truck. We had grown up very close and always considered ourselves brothers. Anyway, he says do you really think you are a woman? I had to think hard about how to answer that. I finally said ,"my mind is a woman's". And the conversation went on "do you think that's why you always were so aggressive?" Seams he remembers me wanting to fight anyone growing up. I remember never fitting in and always being frustrated with being 'me'. Being in an abusive household didn't help but being trans and not being able to tell anyone was a real (female dog).
It's nice to talk with old friends and remember how far I've come. The peace of mind and love I feel now. Yes there are still good and bad days but no where as low on the bad days.
Well its another beautiful spring day and my horse needs me to get out and be with nature.
Gina out.
PS: I would post more pictures but since the big crash it just way to difficult. I can change my avatar pic with a few keystrokes but need an app to post a pic in the forum?
Pics on the forum are hosted elsewhere. You can get a free Imgur account. Upload your pics there. Then use the BBC Embed code to post it in the body of your text.
Went trail ridding yesterday. The trail was The Pebble trail and the pebble was probably 20 feet tall. Amazing amount of boulders just strewn around the woods. Rode over 9 miles so I'm a little sore today.
Trying in earnest to loose some weight before my surgery. Weight rose to 202. Cut way back this week and lost 5lbs. If I can keep this up I'll be looking good for swimsuit weather.
Hi Gina,
Good luck on the weight loss.
I use imgur to post pics here.
After uploading a pic it allows me to choose an image size as well as the type of link I want to copy and paste into a post.
Marion
Hung out with Courtney and Caela at the Keystone conference yesterday in Harrisburg, PA. A really great time. They had many vendors, a photographer (check out my new avatar), many talks or work shops on various subjects for trans people and diner. Just a really great hanging with like minded people. Maybe next year I will stay over for the Gala and other activities. 1 day was not enough.
Staying overnight at an event like Keystone may allow dressing up in a way not possible at home.
Quote from: Maid Marion on March 23, 2024, 12:52:07 PMStaying overnight at an event like Keystone may allow dressing up in a way not possible at home.
That was the case for me.
Its Official. I'm GINA!! Yay. I received the judges order via email. Now I can get the birth certificate changed, drivers license and insurance and .... the list goes on and on but its starting. Finally Greg (who is that!) can start drifting off into the sunset. I'm so happy.
Gina
Congratulations Gina! Getting your name changed everywhere is really time-consuming. The credit agencies can be exceptionally difficult (TransUnion, Experian, Equifax). I wish you the best of luck!
Love always -- Jess
Congrats, GINA!
I mailed a lot of originals to the credit bureaus, credit card companies, insurance companies, etc. Good thing the court gives unlimited numbers of certified copies. Then I hand-delivered to local places like the VA, DMV, County Vehicle Registration, credit union, Social Security, etc.
It is an awesome feeling to see YOUR name on official government-issued documents. I am SO happy for you!
Hugs.
Quote from: Gina P on March 24, 2024, 07:13:56 AMIts Official. I'm GINA!! Yay. I received the judges order via email. Now I can get the birth certificate changed, drivers license and insurance and .... the list goes on and on but its starting. Finally Greg (who is that!) can start drifting off into the sunset. I'm so happy.
Gina
Congratulations on taking this big step.
Good for you!
Chrissy
Congratulations! I can imagine it is both exciting for the future and a relief to get behind you.
Only one I have not been able to change is my mobile phone a/c, they say they cant but think its more like cant be bothered.
Just when I'm feeling great about the name change, I get an Email from the lawyer about the motion for reimbursement on the estate challenge. I almost didn't want to read it. It was the transcripts of the motion and the things said from the other lawyer really brought me down. It seams whenever my life starts to feel right and everything is going well the rug gets pulled out from under me. I drank some wine and gorged on pizza till I felt good, but I know that that's not the best way to deal with it. I have an appointment with my therapist today so at least we have something to talk about. On an other front I am planning on getting my certified copies of the name change and starting to get everything changed today.
Gina
Eye on the prize, girl. Focus on the positive things and everything else will fall in line or fall away. Get your documents and work on telling the world about your new LEGAL name. Pizza and wine are also good. ;D
Hugs!
So hear is my day. Started with an appointment made last night with the DMV for a new drivers license. I go to the court house today to get my certified/gold stamped copies(second floor) and I am told they cannot give out copies even though the judge and the order was mailed from them. "You have to mail everything to the state house in Trenton to get the copies made." Back down the stairs and home. I make some phone calls and finally get someone who says, you need a certified gold sealed copy to send us so we can make you more from that. Argh!! Call back to my courthouse to which they say if you come over now, we will make you the copies for $25 each. Back to the courthouse up the stairs get the paperwork. Now... You have to pay down stairs then bring the receipt back up to us. Down/up again. Get my copies then back down stairs and race to the DMV for my appointment, to which I didn't have the correct documentation to get a real ID drivers license so I settled for a standard one. But 'Gina' is now a registered female driver. All day shot but it's done. And I got a great work out running up and down those stairs. Perhaps I'll tackle Social Security next week. There has got to be a better way.
So, how many stories does your Social Security Administration building have? Just tying to get an idea of your workout options for tomorrow...
In all seriousness, congrats on your new driver's license with your correct name (and hopefully correct gender marker as well)!
Hugs,
Heidemarie
Well at least something is easy in the UK, post a copy of name and gender change and licence with new photo and back within a week. At least you got the bonus workout for free!!
Quote from: Iztaccihuatl on March 29, 2024, 12:22:39 AMSo, how many stories does your Social Security Administration building have? Just tying to get an idea of your workout options for tomorrow...
In all seriousness, congrats on your new driver's license with your correct name (and hopefully correct gender marker as well)!
Hugs,
Heidemarie
Heidemarie, yes, the gender marker is correct. That was another form which I had to fill out. Luckily the counter lady was patient and let me fill it out there without going to the back of the line. Of course being frazzled, I had to fill it out twice because I made a mistake on the first one.
Wow, Gina, that is quite the ordeal. I am glad you got it done.
Here in South Dakota, it went smoother. The judge signed the Order. I took it to the Clerk who put the stamps on it and asked how many copies I needed. Since it is my court case, copies are free, so I had her give me 20. She stamped and signed them all as "certified copies" of the original.
I did have to make two trips to Social Security as they wanted to see my birth certificate and the court order. The woman told me I had to amend my birth certificate first, then come back. That is absolutely false. There is no requirement to amend your birth certificate if you don't want to. Pennsylvania's backlog is 18 months so I decided it was unimportant. I contacted a Supervisor at the Social Security office and explained what happened. They scheduled a new appointment for me and that visit went off without a hitch.
Good luck. One down and a few more to go!
Hugs!
My wife and I are meeting my son and his wife's father for Easter dinner. I would like to wear a nice spring colored dress. My wife disapproves since we are meeting her father for the first time.? I always dress female so I'm not sure of the problem. She just says it may be to much for them to handle. She still see's a man in a dress!! It is who and what I am now, so there is no hiding it. (not a man in dress). I will have to give this more thought. Comments, suggestions anyone?
I can understand she may be nervous about a first meeting. The whole "first impressions" thing. Maybe a compromise? You can dress feminine without wearing a dress. I am not saying hide who you are, just be a bit less "in your face" for the first meeting. Does she have something in mind for you to wear?
My best friend knew me pre-transition. She has been very supportive and has commented on my hair and makeup. She said her only request was that she never wanted to see me in a dress. That was a few years ago, so maybe she thinks differently now. But I am wondering if there are some similar thought patterns here. Maybe it's just the dress is the issue. Talk to her and see what she suggests.
Hugs!
Hi GinaYou said;
Quote from: Gina P on March 28, 2024, 09:13:47 PMAll day shot but it's done. And I got a great work out running up and down those stairs. Perhaps I'll tackle Social Security next week. There has got to be a better way.
Yes, there is a better way; "Shoot the Bastards."
Best Wishes and HugsSarah BOfficial Greeter
Happy Easter all. He has risen!!
Planning on attending church at a neighboring town with a good friend. Then going to my sons, where I was told by his wife the dress may be a bit to much. It bothers me but Ill respect thier wishes. I've had a terrible twitch in my eye the last day or two not sure if its from the stress of this meeting or what.
Hi Lori and GinaGina you said in one of your posts above:
Quote from: Gina P on March 30, 2024, 07:11:24 AMMy wife and I are meeting my son and his wife's father for Easter dinner. I would like to wear a nice spring colored dress. My wife disapproves since we are meeting her father for the first time.? I always dress female so I'm not sure of the problem. She just says it may be to much for them to handle. She still see's a man in a dress!! It is who and what I am now, so there is no hiding it. (not a man in dress). I will have to give this more thought. Comments, suggestions anyone?
Lori said it best:
Quote from: LoriDee on March 30, 2024, 09:44:33 AMI can understand she may be nervous about a first meeting. The whole "first impressions" thing. Maybe a compromise? You can dress feminine without wearing a dress. I am not saying hide who you are, just be a bit less "in your face" for the first meeting. Does she have something in mind for you to wear?
So yes dress feminine, but without wearing a dress, for the first couple of times. You will not lose your femininity by doing so.
Quote from: LoriDee on March 30, 2024, 09:44:33 AMMy best friend knew me pre-transition. She has been very supportive and has commented on my hair and makeup. She said her only request was that she never wanted to see me in a dress. That was a few years ago, so maybe she thinks differently now. But I am wondering if there are some similar thought patterns here. Maybe it's just the dress is the issue. Talk to her and see what she suggests.
Hugs!
Lori, maybe its time to wear a nice dress and catch up with your best friend!
Spending more time with my brother and his family recently. They get to see more of me when I'm in a long skirt or dress although not often.
When I stayed for a couple of night at my brothers, I wear a nightie at night.
Living in a household with just girls he is used to it, what us girls wear. In fact when my laundry got done. He made fun of my underwear, full briefs :icon_redface:
When I was socializing with family, I was conscious of being dressed appropriately, when I caught up with them, in other words I never dressed in a short skirt so to speak for the first time, then again I would not dress that way anyway.
As time progressed I never worried about it any more. Most of us girls do not really dress in dresses or skirts, in the family. So go figure.
I hope the Easter dinner went well for you Gina.
Best Wishes and HugsSarah BOfficial Greeter@Gina P @LoriDee
Dinner went well and all are excepting of me. I wore a nice top with butterflies on it and white slacks. Afterwards we went back to my sons home and they want to do a hardscape in thier back yard. "Would you help us?" I surprised myself and them by saying NO! I have enough of my own projects to finish without taking on one of theirs. I surprised myself because I usually find it hard to say no to anyone.
We are preparing for the eclipse on Monday. One of my favorite spots to ride, in upstate NY, its in the path of totality. I thought it would be cool to ride out to some obscure lake and watch it from there. I went to Idaho for the last one and the traffic was atrocious when it was over. This time we will arrive a few days early and stay a few days after to ovoid that. I plan to take the camper, living quarter trailer. Now if the weather cooperates? So, far its looking good.
The eclipse vacation went well. We rode the horses out 5 miles to a large pond. Tied up the horses, spread an old table cloth on the ground next to a log and watched as the sun got smaller and the clouds got thicker. No great pictures but the quiet of the woods was amazing. My wife exclaimed, "I can hear my heart beating!" It got so dark we could not see each other, then it was over. The 4 days we were there the weather was great and we got along perfectly.
She said it will be nice to get home but I didn't share those sentiments. My depression grew as we neared home and after being home for only 5 minutes, I broke down in tears. The bad memories of my family battles just came crashing down. I realize how much I need to move from here. Someday after my transition I hope to.
Sometimes it is discomfort that motivates us to make changes in our lives. Sometimes the changes are as painful as the discomfort, but necessary nonetheless. It took me four years of planning to finally leave Illinois and move to South Dakota. I thought my wife was coming with me, but she decided last minute to stay with her old boyfriend instead. I left anyway and never looked back. Painful? Absolutely. Worth it? Absolutely no regrets.
I hope with all my heart that you can find the means to do what you need to do. It is your life and no one can live it for you. You get only one so why not make it a happy experience?
Hugs!
I went out to get a fishing license yesterday. The clerk helped me as best he could. Asked if I was in the system to which I replied no this is a new one. It always amazes me how men talk to me when they have not clocked me. The voice is softer and the gestures nicer. Anyway since my drivers license is now Gina, SS# is now Gina, I felt there was no reason to out myself. WRONG! The system kept spitting out my old name and would not allow a new name to be entered. I tried doing it online and same results. Argh! Now I have to contact fish and game to change my name on that as well. The name change thing is exhausting and I live in NJ one of the supposedly easier states. Just to give you an idea. First the court, then Social security, DMV for Drivers license, dept. of vital statistics(NJ), bank account- savings, checking, business checking, credit cards, 401k, mortgage, Voter ID, Tax ID for home, Business registration, Business insurance, Business credit cards, insurance on autos, business insurance, homeowners insurance, insurance on vehicles, registration on vehicles and trailers. Oh and health insurance. I'm sure I forgot a few but whew its crazy!
I also sent certified copies of the court order to the three credit bureaus (TransUnion, Experian, and Equifax). That helped when it matched up with what everyone else was reporting to them. It is a process that can take months. But you are getting there!
I have been unable to change my mobile phone a/c name, I think due to them not having a system in place.
I have Verizon. I walked into the store with my paperwork and a tech changed it on the spot. Can you do something similar with your carrier?
Hi Davina You said;
Quote from: davina61 on April 13, 2024, 12:26:41 PMI have been unable to change my mobile phone a/c name, I think due to them not having a system in place.
They are gate keeping maybe, dragging there heels or could not careless. So;
- I would suggest a new carrier. (take your number with you, if you can)
- Create a new account. (using your existing number, if you can)
- Or use the following information against them
The year is 2024 and this 2018 legislation came into force in 2018. Oh me Oh my!!! So use the following;
Data Protection Information (https://www.gov.uk/data-protection) and the actual
legislation link (https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2018/12/contents/enacted)
Specifically;
QuoteEveryone responsible for using personal data has to follow strict rules called 'data protection principles'. They must make sure the information is:
- used fairly, lawfully and transparently
- used for specified, explicit purposes
- used in a way that is adequate, relevant and limited to only what is necessary
- accurate and, where necessary, kept up to date
- kept for no longer than is necessary
- handled in a way that ensures appropriate security, including protection against unlawful or unauthorised processing, access, loss, destruction or damage
and
Under the Data Protection Act 2018, you have the right to find out what information the government and other organisations store about you. These include the right to:
Quote- be informed about how your data is being used
- access personal data
- have incorrect data updated
- have data erased
- stop or restrict the processing of your data
- data portability (allowing you to get and reuse your data for different services)
- object to how your data is processed in certain circumstances
In other words show them
shove this legislation
under their noses and ask
tell them to fix your personal information, politely of course.
I hope this helps you in some small way.
Love and HugsSarah BOfficial Greeter@davina61
Hi Davina I said the following;
Quote from: Sarah B on April 14, 2024, 04:28:07 AMIn other words show them shove this legislation under their noses and ask tell them to fix your personal information, politely of course.
In seriousness, I would go into the store / office and ask to speak to the supervisor or manager and in private. If the counter staff say; "they can deal with the problem and ask for information", say politely and in a firm way, No and repeat your request.
I have just remembered, that I used this in a couple of instances, very early on, I did not have to contend with counter staff. I cannot remember the details and so long ago. In doing it this way, I was in private, one on one and nobody else would hear the conversation that would ensue. The outcome, worked well for me as I cannot recall any bad situation occurring.
I hope this helps you in some small way.
Love and HugsSarah BOfficial Greeter@davina61
I was able to get my fishing license done in my new name, with just an email to the state. One more checked off! Phone calls to the credit card companies is going a little slower. Health insurance, I have still not been able to get through. I'll keep trying.
Voice lesson went well. Therapist has me focusing on hitting certain notes and doing vowel sounds and simple words in mostly key of 'F' with a pitch analyzer. The goal is to get able to hit a note without working at it then expanding to higher notes and larger words. It shows promise.
Spent Sunday with Courtney fishing. So nice to just talk openly about our trans issues with someone who is dealing with the same things. Fishing was a bit off but as they say, "a bad day of fishing is better than a good day at work!"
Hi Gina,
Good luck with the voice lessons. I found it helps if I squeeze in a couple of short practice sessions every day to change from one way of doing something to another. I have to do this with golf. I'll change something with my swing and it will take months before I automatically do it differently.
Marion
I haven't started my voice lessons yet. They are sorting out some technical issues. But in our Support Group, one of the ladies who has done the lessons said that the way she practiced was by reading aloud. It doesn't matter what but try to do some reading every day. Then periodically, record your reading and listen to how you sound. Are you hitting the pitch? Do you have trouble with certain words or phrases? I thought it was a good idea and I will be trying it myself.
Good luck!
It may also help to train yourself to avoid quick and simple answers to questions. Ladies tend to use more complicated sentences that allow them to modulate their voice. How they say stuff can indicate what they really mean. As well as their body language. Their words may say one thing but their intonation and body language may say something else entirely!
I had done 3 months of 1 on 1 training before with a voice coach. She felt I was doing great, and I did well in the lessons but as soon as I left the office and had to think of what I was saying my voice went back to male mode. She had me reading things and that was easy in the fem voice. I didn't have to think of what I was saying. I am going to try and follow this coach's training for now. I am supposed to train 3 times a day and I have been able to do that.
On another note I was on the phone with my health care provider getting my name changed on that and had to sent them a copy of my drivers license. The woman says "you are very pretty". It about blew my mind. Whether she was just being nice or what I don't care. I'm taking it as a win.
Gina
Take all the wins dear, BTW she was correct.
I went the lumber yard Thursday to order the railing for my deck, that I started last summer. Always a little uncomfortable, as the lumber yard is mans world and I go wearing my female attire and handbag. The clerk was great and treated my wife and I very nicely. Ordered a nice Black aluminum rail with spindles. Should be in in a week. Then to Kohl's shopping for a spring fall jacket for me. My wife was so great as I tried on jacket after jacket till I found one we both liked. A bright pink ("hot pink", as she said). Not in my size so I ordered it online when we got home. Picked up couple of pairs Sonoma jeans while there, to replace the female ones I've worn out. Doesn't seam like I've been out that long to wear clothes out but time does fly.
Next stop Tractor supply to get some feed for the horses. The girl that works there is always showing me her turquoise jewelry and I show her mine. We both like the color and look. She saw me come in and came over to say hi. Then to Walmart for some groceries and a resupply of my makeup. Finished up with some fast food. A nice time out with my new BFF the wife. Before transitioning you would have to had drag me kicking and screaming into an afternoon of shopping now I love it, as long as I can buy myself something nice. :)
Friday, I'm on a job and the homeowner keeps saying sir, yes sir. Finally I said I prefer Mam or Miss. "Oh I was wondering if you were... Did you have the surgery yet?..Do you have a boyfriend? Argh. Finally he finished up with, "your hair looks nice for a woman...Do you color it?" Argh again. My employee is holding in laughing and about to bust. Such is the days of Gina.
Quote from: Gina P on April 20, 2024, 08:13:02 AMFriday, I'm on a job and the homeowner keeps saying sir, yes sir. Finally I said I prefer Mam or Miss. "Oh I was wondering if you were... Did you have the surgery yet?..Do you have a boyfriend? Argh. Finally he finished up with, "your hair looks nice for a woman...Do you color it?" Argh again. My employee is holding in laughing and about to bust. Such is the days of Gina.[/justify]
I read someone's suggestion that you ask "Are you circumsized?" or similar when asked those invasive questions. Or maybe "do you have any sexual performance problems that you'd had to see a doctor for?" lol Anyway, sorry about that.
Quote from: Courtney G on April 20, 2024, 08:04:13 PMI read someone's suggestion that you ask "Are you circumsized?" or similar when asked those invasive questions. Or maybe "do you have any sexual performance problems that you'd had to see a doctor for?" lol Anyway, sorry about that.
Great come back. I'll have to remember that one.
Quote from: Gina P on April 20, 2024, 08:13:02 AMI went the lumber yard Thursday to order the railing for my deck, that I started last summer. Always a little uncomfortable, as the lumber yard is mans world and I go wearing my female attire and handbag. The clerk was great and treated my wife and I very nicely. Ordered a nice Black aluminum rail with spindles. Should be in in a week. Then to Kohl's shopping for a spring fall jacket for me. My wife was so great as I tried on jacket after jacket till I found one we both liked. A bright pink ("hot pink", as she said). Not in my size so I ordered it online when we got home. Picked up couple of pairs Sonoma jeans while there, to replace the female ones I've worn out. Doesn't seam like I've been out that long to wear clothes out but time does fly.
...
Gina,
I still do not like shopping much, except for clothes. Unless I am with a friend; but, that is just as much a social time than simply shopping.
I prefer to go in and look for what I want, not window shop to any extent.
Chrissy
QuoteOh I was wondering if you were...
If he was wondering, why did he apply "sir?"
I assume to provoke so that he could then have a figurative peek into your pants.
I was able to buy a used rototiller very cheap and fix it. This should make my gardening much easer. I find the spade and my back are not good friends as I age. Still doing a lot of trail ridding with my horse, Dundee. Rode over 11 miles on Saturday. I was so sore and tired afterward.
Hi Gina,
Good on getting a rototiller and being able to fix it!
I just fixed my garden hoses so I don't have a dissimilar metal issues causing the fittings to stick together.
I use a drain spade for gardening. The narrow blade requires a lot less work!
I've learned to garden while squatting so I don't have to bend over to dig out shrubs.
Marion
Tillers can be of a big help to prepare soil. Raised gardens seem to be good at keeping weeds out, and if weeds do get in, they are easy to remove.
When I had a garden, I learned about "Lasagna Gardening" which is a no-till project. Best crops I ever had. Highly recommended!
Yes the no dig method.
I wonder if it is actually cheaper to buy produce at the market than home grown.
However, I know my food is organic, fresh, and it is fun to garden.
Chrissy
I absolutely love fresh tomatoes from the garden. Starting in the beginning of July to the end of October. Beets are another one of my fav's. We freeze a fair amount of spinach and corn to eat it all year. I'm not sure about the money end but the taste is far better than store bought. Did potatoes as well last year and still have boxes and boxes left.
I have been taking Gabapentin for restless legs. It really didn't work and left me with brain fog all day. So I decided to stop taking it and have been in a bit of a crash all week with no ambition and not much desire to do any thing. I have struggled through with a few projects. Managed to till the garden and cleared out some stumps that needed to be dug out in the pasture.
Had my counseling session last night which always makes me feel better. Then out to the dinner for a bite. Stopped of at the Tractor supply store for some horse feed and seeds for the garden which I hope to get in soon. Railing for the deck should be in soon. Plenty to do, now if I can just find where I left my ambition.
I have periods of CBA , bit of nice weather and a few ideas and back up and running.
I've finished with the Gabapentin withdraw. Dizziness, mode swings, etc. Feeling much better now and found a herbals that works for the restless legs. Diet has been a real challenge, not much loss, 3lbs, but some shape changes. Stomach is slimming and boobs continue to grow. Had on a nice pushup bra and was overflowing, much to my delight. Then wore a tight fitting top and shorts to Walmart last night. My wife urged me to button up so as not to show the cleavage. Still looked good, and was Mam'ed a couple of times. Been hitting the elliptical every night. Defiantly helping tone me up without adding bulk.
Deck railing came in, now 2 days of rain forecast. It will have to wait.
Only 39 days till bottom surgery!! Whoohoo! So much I want to get done before then and starting to feel the crunch.
Voice lessons are going well. Focusing a lot on voice strengthen and range exercises. Less breathiness, more emphasis on speaking each word more clearly projected out and not from the chest or throat. I'm working with a nice voice app which helps with the pitch and offers playback.
Hi Gina,
You have been a busy girl!
I'm busy working on the yard. I'm taking out the invasive plants.
Lots of work but I now have the time to do that! Plants die if they never have leaves.
Some just need a good whack with a shovel or Sawzall!
Which reminds to get my DeWalt out of the basement.
Marion
I can attest - you're looking great, Gina! And I'm super excited about your upcoming surgery. I so happy that the day is almost upon us. Looking forward to visiting while you recuperate.
Thanks all. Courtney, so good to have a friend who I can confide in and talk to. Your invaluable. Added to that your great fisherwoman!
Went on our weekly trail ride yesterday. We were able to beat the rain that was moving. Just a great day then a customer calls for an emergency repair and it took me 2 hrs just to get the door closed. One of those repairs where everything went wrong. My wife said, "see you were not supposed to go!" There will always be repairs where things go wrong.
It's raining here and supposed to continue all day. I'm looking forward to a slow start and and getting some inside stuff done.
Trail ridding yesterday, I had to dismount to move a branch out of the trail. When I went to mount up I noticed I was having a hard time reaching the stirrup with my foot. I mentioned to my wife if I was getting shorter or the stirrups were farther up? To which she replied you are getting shorter. Call it pelvic tilt or old age or both, went from 5'11" to 5'8". It made me happy that she noticed it too.
@Gina P
Dear Gina: I hate to "break it" to you....
...but as one gets older their spine compresses, so it is just not only the HRT.
In a MTF transition journey it is NOT necessarily an unwelcome development.
HUGS, Danielle
I received my pre-surgery packet yesterday. Now only 32 days away. This is starting to get very 'real'!! I can't believe I am finally going to do this. I find I'm a bit emotional, worrying something will stop it, excited, concerned for my business while I'm unable to work... you name it. The only thing I'm not, is questioning if I should do it. That I'm sure of!!
Weight loose still is at a nearly stand still. I've added using the elliptical most nights. A piece of fruit for lunch. Some celery for a snack. I guess I have to cut out the desert after dinner.
And the dinner! I have been trying for ages and stuck at same weight ,lack of exercise is my problem after my bad back/hip.
That is good news, Gina.
It is perfectly natural to be a bit anxious, and I think your anxiety is well-placed. You are not second-guessing your decision and that is a healthy attitude. We wish you all the best.
My Endo wants me to stop Progesterone 30 days before surgery. So I call the surgeon and ask if they feel the same way. Of course they say if she want you to stop you probably should but we don't require it. So no Progesterone for a month. Then I get a phone call from the hospital wanting to know if they are doing the pre op tests, to which I'm having my GP schedule them. Of course they have my surgery date wrong. Panic mode! Call to the surgeons office then the hospital calls back with, they had made a mistake. Crises averted.
Its been a busy week getting ready for the big surgery day, now less than 3 weeks. GP for medical clearance. EKG, blood work, etc. I meet with the plastic surgeon on Tuesday. They still haven't told me how much this is going to cost. All I get is the insurance will cover it! I still have a few questions, so I'm looking forward to the meeting.
I've been working hard getting the things I need to get done finished. Baled 15 acres of hay this week. Now my horses have enough for the year. Delivered 200 bales to a neighbor. Finishing the railing on my deck, that I started last fall. Still have to plant the garden. That will be this weekends project and still have some things to get out of my moms barn before the niece has a fit. These next days will fly by. Appointments with my Endo, orthodontists, counseling, doctor, all while trying to finish up a few big jobs the door company has. And of course a few last trail rides on the horses. That's all for now.
Gina
Power to you elbow dear!
Wow, Gina. You definitely have your hands full.
Make sure to take some downtime in there somewhere. Keep your stress under control. There is light at the end of the tunnel... and it's not a train!
Had my first dream last night that I was having the surgery. It was like the 3 stooges in there. The nurses were all falling over the place laughing from inhaling the gas. I was on the verge of unconsciousness. They were starting to cut and kept moving me to other positions so the doc could work better. I kept asking how much is this going to cost? They just kept laughing... Wow!!
Yesterday I was wrapped up in work then started planting the garden. Came in the house and realized I had a counseling session in 15 min. Its a 30 min drive there. Threw on a pair of shorts and top and took off. Usually I would take 45min. to shower, dry my hair, makeup, dress...As I'm driving there I'm putting on makeup, lipstick, brushing my hair.. Oh my God, I am really a woman and doing these things while driving! Luckily the car has auto steering and auto braking. I was 15min. late and had a great session. Hopefully I will never have do that again. My mind has been a little distracted thinking of the upcoming surgery.
I hope all are enjoying this memorial day weekend.
Gina
Had a wonderful 7 mile trail ride on Saturday. My wife took a picture of me hugging Dundee (my horse) after the ride. She said it was a Girl and her horse. Its amazing how much that feels good coming from her. While riding my breasts were doing a fair amount of bouncing. It won't be long before I have to switch to a sports bra. On the way there I stopped at a fruit market to buy carrots for the horses. The lady gave me a turnip to give to them and as they were eating it she says,"what's that mommy is giving you?" Nice to be gendered correctly.
I meet with the plastic surgeon who will be doing my Vaginoplasty, tomorrow. I still have not been told how much this will cost me. Down to 16 days now! This is all I can think about night and day. Like a kid at Christmas. I have started a list of questions I want to ask. My to do list before surgery is getting smaller and I think I might actually get it all done, if I don't keep adding to it.
I am glad you hade a great ride!
Chrissy
Quote from: Gina P on May 27, 2024, 06:41:27 AMHad a wonderful 7 mile trail ride on Saturday. My wife took a picture of me hugging Dundee (my horse) after the ride. She said it was a Girl and her horse. Its amazing how much that feels good coming from her. While riding my breasts were doing a fair amount of bouncing. It won't be long before I have to switch to a sports bra. On the way there I stopped at a fruit market to buy carrots for the horses. The lady gave me a turnip to give to them and as they were eating it she says,"what's that mommy is giving you?" Nice to be gendered correctly.
I meet with the plastic surgeon who will be doing my Vaginoplasty, tomorrow. I still have not been told how much this will cost me. Down to 16 days now! This is all I can think about night and day. Like a kid at Christmas. I have started a list of questions I want to ask. My to do list before surgery is getting smaller and I think I might actually get it all done, if I don't keep adding to it.
Have you been given a MAXIMUM out of pocket price yet? It is good to know what the worst case scenario is.
Chrissy
Met with the surgeon on Tuesday. Looks like max out of pocket is around $11,000. It will depends on how the insurance company handles it. I will plan for the worst and if its better that would be great. Hospital called with instructions for surgery day. They want me there at 5:30 am. Its an hour drive. Plus I have to do an enima at 4. Sounds like I'll be up very early. Getting a bit nervous about it all, lately. Not a doubt about having the surgery, just the recovery time. All the tests EKG, blood work, etc. all came back good. Cleared for surgery! I will be glad when its over. My to do list before surgery is almost completed. Only a few things left to do. Voice is progressing nicely. Mostly getting over my own hang ups and having the confidence to use the new voice more around people.
That's all for now
Gina
Glad to hear all the tests are good and you are cleared for surgery. I don't know anyone who wouldn't be anxious before surgery. Your dreams are about to come true! Keep us posted about how you are doing as much as you are able. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
Went fishing with Courtney on Thursday afternoon. Its was so nice to be out with her and clear my mind even if she caught 15 fish to my 5! My deck project is nearing completion and I should be finished closing in the base in a few days. That was the only thing left on my to do list before surgery. I still struggle with the farm and the decision of my mother to will it to my niece. Trying to not dwell on it. As I drive past the house and see them having the time of thier life. No rent, no mortgage, while I struggle with how will I ever pay my mortgage down so I can retire. I think of starting out living in an apartment in the main street of town struggling while they sit in a 3/4 million dollar paid for home. Nuff said!
Went on a 8.5 mile trail ride yesterday. Trail had overgrown with thorn bushes and was very muddy in spots. Not the best ride but was nice to be out on the horses.
Weight loss has been a real struggle. I have lost 10lbs. Its been a bit of a yo yo diet. Loose 3lbs and gain back 2 and repeat. Having bad days and binge eating then dieting hard the next day.
Going to my sons house for dinner today. Kind of a parents day celebration.
The countdown continues. Now only 10 days till surgery. Next week is my trans group meeting and I'm wondering weather to attend or stay home and quarantine. I would hate to come down with a bug this close.
Quote from: Gina P on June 02, 2024, 07:14:04 AMThe countdown continues. Now only 10 days till surgery. Next week is my trans group meeting and I'm wondering weather to attend or stay home and quarantine. I would hate to come down with a bug this close.
I remember those days, frightened that any sniffle could mean a delay. The odds are slim you would catch something, but you would be quite upset if that happened. The question to ask yourself is 'which would upset me more. Missing the meeting, or having to reschedule surgery?'
I hope your celebration goes smoothly.
Love always -- Jessica Rose
Good Luck!
I hope everything goes well.
~Jenn
Yesterday I passed a friend out mowing his grass on the way back to the shop. Usually he is very talkative but since coming out he has been very distant. First he didn't seam as though he wanted to stop then as we talked he was just answering my talk dryly. My employee said wow he acted as he didn't want to talk to you! His prerogative. A very conservative republican. Chock one off to transitioning. No big thing.
Gina, you cast light and I pity the person who would choose to stand in shadow to avoid your light.
Today its off to the scrap yard to sell some metal. I have also been selling off some of my farm equipment that I no longer need for some much needed cash. I finally received the quote for surgery which is max out of pocket on my insurance about $9k. Not unexpected.
Almost finished with the deck project. Should wrap up today. Trying to get some big jobs out of the way at work before my surgery. I feel like the old man working all the time, but soon I will be doing nothing but resting as, the clock ticks down.
Quote from: Gina P on June 06, 2024, 05:49:26 AMYesterday I passed a friend out mowing his grass on the way back to the shop. Usually he is very talkative but since coming out he has been very distant. First he didn't seam as though he wanted to stop then as we talked he was just answering my talk dryly. My employee said wow he acted as he didn't want to talk to you! His prerogative. A very conservative republican. Chock one off to transitioning. No big thing.
All this makes me think of is all the time you wasted talking to him before coming out.
His loss.
The waiting is almost over. Only one day till surgery. Bag is packed, up at 4am tomorrow to go to the hospital. Nothing to eat after noon today so I'm starting out with a nice bacon and eggs breakfast. I have been so nervous about this, I wonder if I will be able to get any sleep tonight. I keep wondering if I've forgotten anything. Something that will prevent it from happening. My to do list is almost completed, just a few odd things to do this afternoon. I completed the deck project and returned $300 worth of material that I didn't need. The wife is eyeing some outdoor furniture now. It would be a nice addition to the space. Though she is saying lets go pick it up today while you can still drive and lift things.
Completed a big door for my business yesterday, a 24' x 15'. This is probably the hardest part. Not being able to do any work for a while, and relying on others. Having a control freak personality makes it hard to just step back.
I will update after the surgery when I am up to it.
Hugs all Gina
Good luck with your surgery, Gina! I hope everything goes well and a speedy recovery without issues!
Hugs,
Heidemarie
Good luck, Gina! Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
I hope everything goes well for you Gina, and I'm wishing your surgical team has an awesome day tomorrow!
I remember how nervous I was before surgery. Wondering if any little sneeze or sniffle could delay surgery, reviewing all of the pre and post surgical instructions, arriving way to early at the hospital... my best advice is for you to relax. Have a nice meal, go for a walk, maybe watch a few movies. Tomorrow will happen, and you will begin a new chapter in your life.
Love always -- Jessica Rose
Best wishes dear, just relax and go with the flow. XXXX
We're all so proud of you, Gina. You've come so far and worked so hard for this. I wish you the best for tomorrow and the smoothest of recoveries. I'm sorry I didn't call you today - I was a weepy, hormonal mess and was inside of my head all day. I can't wait to hear from you when you're up to dropping me a line!
Hi Gina,
Best of Luck!
Marion
Quote from: Gina P on June 11, 2024, 05:53:02 AMI will update after the surgery when I am up to it.
Hugs all Gina
Looking forward to hearing how you're doing. Sending all of our best wishes! Recovery is really hard work! And worth every precaution.
All settled in my room. Pain is bearable. Went for walk down the hall with the PT lady. They want me up, sitting in a chair now and not the bed. I can go back on solid food now, yay hospital food.
Yeah, it's all about circulation right now. Take care of yourself. I hope the pain stays under control.
Well done dear, wont be long till your trail riding.
I can't believe they already have you walking! I didn't get out of bed until at least day three. Just standing up was quite a chore. Do keep up with the pain meds, you can get really uncomfortable quickly if you fall behind. Glad to hear everything is going well so far.
Love always -- Jessica Rose
I am glad to hear that things went well. I hope you recover quickly and have results that you are delighted with.
I am sorry to hear about the farm. My dad was quite wealthy, and left me nothing. I have enough, so I don't have the struggles you do; but it still hurts that he would do that to me, given how upset he was when his dad did the same thing to him. It didn't hurt me as much as he apparently wanted it to. I hope it doesn't hurt you too badly either. I know some pain is unavoidable.
Quote from: Gina P on June 13, 2024, 08:58:21 AMAll settled in my room. Pain is bearable. Went for walk down the hall with the PT lady. They want me up, sitting in a chair now and not the bed. I can go back on solid food now, yay hospital food.
Wow, congrats Gina! Now it's just about recovery! Be a good patient and do what the hospital staff tells you to do! ;D
Pain has been in the stomach from the holes for the robot. They also have 3 drains there catching fluids. Make that 2 as the just came in and removed one. Nerves are changing. First it felt like my junk was still there and bunched up under the bandages. Now there is an empty feeling there which is nice. Having not done any facial hair removal I was forced to shave my chin this morning.
I was able to get a good nights sleep last night and feel refreshed.
Well done dear keep up that rest.
Hi Gina I'm sorry I'm late to the party. So a belated congratulations are in order.
:eusa_dance: :eusa_clap: :icon_bunch:
Congratulations on your
Surgery
Best wishes for the future
and get well soon
:icon_bunch: :eusa_clap: :eusa_dance:
I thought about counting down, but never did, worked up till Friday, went into hospital two days before surgery and had long hot showers to relieve the pain. I hope and wish that you will have peace of mind and contentment like I did all those years ago. My thoughts and prayers are with.
All the best for the future.
Love and HugsSarah BOfficial Greeter
Congrats, Gina!
Glad to hear you are doing well.
They changed the dressings. I was able to see my vagina for the first time. Wow, my vagina!! I can't believe that is me. Only 2 days after surgery and it looks great. I was cleared to get up and walk around by myself. Nerves in the vag are starting to give off different signals nothing bad just a feeling that it not a dick anymore. No pain in that area. Still a little painful in the belly. Oh well things take time to heal. Hospital staff is so sweet and check on me all the time. No grumpy old nurses here.
Gina,
I am so happy things are going well. It will take time for your brain to adjust to the new body, but it sounds like that is moving along quickly. I am so happy for you!
I am scheduled to go home tomorrow after they take out the packing, catheter, and drains. I have been completely off the pain meds for a day now. No pain!! I walk 3 times a day around the hospital floor, around a half mile. I don't even need a pillow to sit on. I hope it continues this easy.
Hospital staff are great and everyone says hello Gina with a smile. I'm going to miss all the attention.
Hugs Gina
That is great news, Gina!
I was just wondering how you were doing. I hope things keep going smoothly as you heal.
Hugs!
Came home yesterday. Many of the nurses were there to see me off and say good luck as I left. I cant say enough good things about RWJ in Somerville and Dr. Keith & Dr. Patell and their staff. They could not have been more kind and caring.
Pain has not been bad. I have not needed any pain meds. The nerves are turning back on slowly, and I'm told this will continue for several months. Sometimes there will be a pain in the end of my shaft(which is not there of course). Other times it feels like my scrotom is squished, and then the lightning bolts...zaps from time to time. Not bad feelings just a little weird.
I was able to shower last night, and wash my hair. Sure felt good. Now to just take it easy and rest. Not something I usually do.
Gina
Took me about 6 months before stuff settled down, still get the odd twinge as though the bits were still there!
I had my follow up with the doctor yesterday. Everything is healing exceptionally well. They said, I was their star patient with the surgery having been textbook and healing going better than expected.
They started me dilating 3x a day. I hate to say it, but it felt so good to find this new equipment functions as intended. Yes there is still a ,lot of swelling and all, but the dilation was painless and no discomfort. First dilation was at 5" deep, purple dilator, which is all they want at this point. No resistance but she wants to wait till things heal a little more till going bigger. She says the big orange one will be used a few weeks. Not to worry! "Whoa,,What?? That thing is huge!" :icon_blink:
It feels so nice to wear woman's panties now, and have them fit properly. I went out and bought a nice skirt(skort) on Monday. Its fairly short so it has an underwear lining inside. I absolutely love the way if feels and not having to tuck is magical. Life is Good!
My wife went through an adjustment phase after I got home. For some reason she was very mean and disrespectful for the first week. I had a nice talk with her and explained that if she was trying to make me feel guilty for having the surgery and succeeded, there was no way of reversing it at this point! All she was going to do was to make us both miserable. Seams to have worked and her attitude has changed and she has been a lot nicer now.
Trying to walk around and not do to much is a bit of challenge for me. I walk to the barn and feed the horses their grain.(no heavy lifting) I water the flowers with the garden hose. Went out in the garden and pulled some weeds. (probably not on the allowed list, but I kept it very short). Put a few screws in (assembled) some patio furniture that the wife had bought. Kept it light and only for a very short time. Mostly I'm just sitting around reading and taking it easy. "I could get used to this!" That's all for now.
Hugs, Gina
Hi Gina,
That is wonderful news!
I am transitioning to wearing skorts as a non-op!
I signed two big checks today for my Home Improvement Guy wearing a sleeveless pink collared top and a white pleated skirt. Figure if he wants my money in the future he better get used to it! Tomorrow the building materials get delivered and they are on the roof Friday morning.
Marion
Quote from: Maid Marion on June 26, 2024, 03:21:29 PMHi Gina,
That is wonderful news!
I am transitioning to wearing skorts as a non-op!
I signed two big checks today for my Home Improvement Guy wearing a sleeveless pink collared top and a white pleated skirt. Figure if he wants my money in the future he better get used to it! Tomorrow the building materials get delivered and they are on the roof Friday morning.
Marion
If they are like most contractors, they will be there at 6:30 am.
I was just reminiscing on when I built my house 25 years ago. Not having any scaffolding, I built a frame on my backhoe bucket and worked out of that. When doing the chimney the loader would not go high enough to reach the height I needed to go, so I piled dirt around the base and built a ramp to go higher. Then I would climb an extension ladder to get in it. I was full of 'T' and stupidity in those days.
Hi Gina,
It was down to the 50s overnight! He was there are 7:10AM while I was re-arranging the tools in my garage.
I just did my nails for the first time in months. Too much gardening to keep them nice until now!
A very girly shade of pink.
Lunch will be pizza made with refrigerated pizza dough, canned pizza sauce, and lots of mozzerella cheese topped with pepperoni. I'm learning how to make thin crust pizza. The sauce tastes better with some finely ground red pepper.
Marion
So coming up on the 3 week post op this Wednesday on my vaginoplasty. I wanted to share my experiences so far. I'm sure it will be TMI for some.
Day 0: Had to arrive at the hospital at 5:30am. So nervous. "Will I have the fortitude to go through with this?" Thought I would be crying but instead a war rages in my mind.. "What the heck are you doing? There is still time to call it off! But, but, this is what I wanted my whole life! It's now or never." My BP is up, they take me into the OR. The anesthesiologist says he is going to give me something to help me calm down....."We are all finished!" What? I feel between my legs and there is bandages. I look at the clock on the wall and it's late afternoon. Felt like a few seconds had elapsed. Next thing I remembered I was in my room talking with the nurses.
Day 1: bed rest. Area of surgery numb and bandaged. Nurse say the doc uses a numbing agent during surgery to make it less painful. Catheter is draining urine. 3 drains in my belly draining fluid. IV in my arm. Monitors on my chest and Oxygen under my nose. Inflatable thingies on my legs to prevent blood clots. Even with all this I sleep. O2 alarm goes off and nurses rush in. I explain my sleep apnea has probably stopped my breathing. Oxygen hose is removed and my CPAP mask replaces it. Nurses check on me every hour It's a blur.
Day 2: Wires/ monitors are removed and dressing is changed. I get to see what they did and I am happy, very happy. I can't believe I have done this!!
Day 3: PT comes in and gets me out of bed and we walk around the hall with a walker for balance. She says I am to spend more time in the recliner instead of the bed and urged to walk around with a nurse.
Day 4-6: I get permission to walk by myself. Nurse would administer IV pain killer and then remove bag. I put on my pink bath robe and matching slippers and walk the halls 3 times a day. Carrying my urine bag. The nurses said this is my handbag for the stay. Not pretty but its nice to move about. It's getting boring in here. I read in the recliner for a couple of hours, go for a walk Read in the chair by the window for a while then go for another walk. Finish the day with another walk. Had the nurses stop the pain meds after day 4. Found I really had no pain, guess I won the lottery in that department.
Day 7: They bring me to the OR and sedate me for a brief time while they remove all the packing and check everything. Next girl is waiting for her surgery in the same OR and the cycle starts again. I am released to go home and rest. They instruct me to walk and take it easy.
Day 13: Appointment with the doctor. They show me how to dilate and am instructed to do it 3 times a day. I find it very affirming and actually enjoy it. I never thought I would be able to insert a dilator or dildo as I like to call it, into my body. "Bring on the vibrator." Yes I know I'm strange!
The nerves are awakening and healing. They give some strange signals. The nerves are still the same but they are in different places. Many times it feels like my penis is pushed up inside my belly and gets stabbed. Other times, my scrotum is being pinched Luckily these feelings or lightning bolts only last a few seconds. There is bit of swelling in my lower abdomen which comes and goes The doctor says the fluid builds up there and has to drain up now, not to worry it should resolve itself in a few months.
I made an appointment with another plastic surgeon to have my nose done. I have a consult next week. I know I m not allowed to have any surgery for a couple of months but want to get on his schedule.
Gina
Thanks for sharing, Gina. I am so happy that everything went well.
It won't be much longer til your first date with B.O.B. (Battery Operated Boyfriend). ;D
@LoriDee @Gina P The big advantage ....
B.O.B. has and ON/OFF switch and the batteries are quickly replaceable. :)
DanielleQuote from: LoriDee on July 01, 2024, 01:39:27 PMThanks for sharing, Gina. I am so happy that everything went well.
It won't be much longer til your first date with B.O.B. (Battery Operated Boyfriend). ;D
I've been distracted with some personal issues the past 2+ weeks and now I get back on and I can't believe I missed all of this.
Congratulations Gina!
This is so exciting, I'm glad everything has gone so well.
Paulie.
P.S. it's not TMI. Thanks for sharing.
I am happy for you, and glad to hear things are going well.
Thanks Rachael, Paulie, Daniel, Loridee and all the girls who read my posts.
Went to my trans groups picnic today. I had Courtney as my wing girl. What a great time with the girls and guys. Good food and better company. For many this is as close as they get to going out in public as their true selves. Everyone was dressed so beautifully. I had ordered a pride shirt on line to wear and wouldn't you know it came at 7pm tonight. Oh well I was happy to wear a short skirt.
I remember those firsts and the excitement/fear that brought. Now its more of an even joy ride. Yes life still throws me curves but its much easier to handle on one front.
I had a consult with a FFS doctor yesterday. He was very encouraging. He felt my nose would make my face more feminine. Felt every thing would look good if my nose was more proportioned and smaller. He said my cheeks, and chin look feminine and didn't suggest any other work than the nose. If we did a face lift, my neck and eyes would look old. It would kind of snowball. Bad part is, the nose job cost $15k! Insurance would cover some leaving me to pay $7k. My wife if dead set against it since we are still dealing with the $9k+ for the bottom surgery. Ill have to think on this one.
My emotions did a real nose dive this week. After the consult with the FFS doc and my wifes reaction I have had a real depressive dive. I've been so euphoric since my bottom surgery, I just thought this was the new norm. My niece had a neighbor mowing the hay on the family farm. This really hurts. Dilation has been a little difficult. I'm told that is to be expected. Pain/ discomfort has been increasing. I have been forced to do some work in my business to keep it alive. I'm sure the doc would not approve.
I find I just want to move away from here and start fresh somewhere else but the finances will not allow this. My voice lessons are set to resume tomorrow. I have stopped all practicing and my voice has reverted to the old self, mostly. I did make an appointment with my therapist which I am sure will help.
On a good note, went fishing with Courtney. This helped my mood a lot. Had a bit of swelling/pain the next day. Perhaps it was to soon for that but i needed it.
A quick up date on my healing. So 5 1/2 weeks postop, dilation it's becoming more difficult as I've been moved up to the bigger green dilator. Depth is maintaining at 6 inches. Still quite affirming to be able to do this but the discomfort level has increased. Throughout the day as well not sure if it's because of the stretching or just the nerves coming back online. The continuous discharge from the lube and such is a bit annoying. Having to wear a pad 24 hours a day to catch it is bit of an annoyance, nevertheless it was to be expected.
Had my blood work done this week E is now 167 that's up about 50 points from preop. Perhaps this was the reason for my high emotions last week. My breasts have noticed the higher E as well and grown considerably. I now must wear a bra under most of my clothes or as my wife says I look obscene. I just love the way they feel so soft and move. I spend most of my days now in a skirt and absolutely love it. The feeling of not having to hide my junk between my legs is amazing. Things are still a bit raw down there but are improving. The stitches, which are supposed to fall out on their own continue to hold on like porcupine quills.
I have managed to get out in my garden and do some weeding, though I left the gate open and the deer went in and chewed up some of my sweet corn. All in all its a good ride.
Gina
Took me 6 months to fully settle in, don't rush as it will come. No douche to clean up after dilating?
Thanks Davina, I asked about the douche and the doc told me not to, as well.
The deer finished eating the corn in the garden. Now that they know its there, they jump the fence. I'm contemplating replanting or just writing it off as a loss this year. I'm not really supposed to be doing the work yet anyway.
Going to another pride picnic today with Courtney. Should be a nice time. The weather is supposed to be nice and its always a pleasure to spend time with Courtney.
I forgot, I had my speech therapy this week. We are working on over articulation now. Therapist says men tend to cut thier vowels short and not speak as clearly. Definantly a problem for me as I have always been one to use the country slang. "Jueatyet" is out. Now I must say, "Did you eat, yet?" Not quite that bad but you get the idea.
Hi Gina,
I used to enunciate clearly but spoke in a monotone, so all I had to do was to learn to modulate my sentences properly.
I would write off the corn as a loss. A double fence may help, but they have added incentive to figure it out if they know there is food in there.
Marion
Quote from: Maid Marion on July 21, 2024, 12:28:10 PMbut they have added incentive to figure it out if they know there is food in there.
A shotgun counteracts said "incentive". ;D
And fills the freezer!!
I've been busy this past week. Dilating is, well a pain in the butt. Not really, just trying to find the time. I'm supposed to do it for 15 minutes, 3 times a day, but by the time I get set up and start, plus putting things away and cleaning up, more like 1/2 hour or more. Still not cleared to work, but I have been forced to do more and more. We have fallen behind and I have been forced to help. I refrain from the heavy lifting but find I'm doing more and more every day. Yesterday after a 9 hour day I came home wiped out and slightly sick to my stomach. Clearly I had done to much.
I find that I loath doing mans work now. I hate putting on work clothes and getting dirty. I must do some mechanic work this weekend, oil change, brakes, etc. but I find I dread it. I'm not sure if this will pass or if its the new norm. Time will tell.
Our local county fair starts today. Usually we take in a show there but this year I might pass. The thought of sitting on steel bleachers for several hours is more than I think I can handle right now. I miss ridding my horse and can't wait till its ok to ride again. Till then I will have to be content to just groom him.
Quote from: Gina P on July 27, 2024, 07:40:34 AMDilating is, well a pain in the butt.
Umm, Gina. I think you're doing it wrong. ;D
I only had to do it twice a day and that was a faff.
I had my doc appointment yesterday. He looked inside with a lighted speculum. Every thing is good. This guy is thorough! Moved me up to the large orange dilator. Cleared to now lift 20lbs and light duty work. He promises in 2 weeks to clear me to resume normal, activities and work. For now im not to overdue it but use my judgment.
Glad to hear that your internal review went well. Hopefully you'll be able to get back into your normal routine soon.
Love always -- Jessica Rose
Keep up the good work my dear and dont overdo stuff.
While in the docs office, I met a pretty woman. Since the doc does a myriad of plastic surgeries, I was not sure she was trans, so I was not sure how to approach her. She had a low cut top and amazing boobs showing so I asked her if she had done top surgery. Answer was yes. As we talked we, discussed our journey's and what we were looking to get done. She commented on my looks with, you are lucky, you are so pretty. Meanwhile I'm thinking how well she passed, only to find out she wanted full FFS and bottom surgery. I find it truly amazing how each of us looks at our faults and fixates on that while everyone else sees something different.
Quote from: Gina P on August 01, 2024, 05:51:37 AMWhile in the docs office, I met a pretty woman. Since the doc does a myriad of plastic surgeries, I was not sure she was trans, so I was not sure how to approach her. She had a low cut top and amazing boobs showing so I asked her if she had done top surgery. Answer was yes. As we talked we, discussed our journey's and what we were looking to get done. She commented on my looks with, you are lucky, you are so pretty. Meanwhile I'm thinking how well she passed, only to find out she wanted full FFS and bottom surgery. I find it truly amazing how each of us looks at our faults and fixates on that while everyone else sees something different.
I think this is so true for many of us. We usually are our own worst enemy. One of my favorite lines is 'mirrors are evil, they only show us what we want to see'. When we look in a mirror we are usually looking for flaws, so that's all we will see. If we use that same mirror to look for beauty, that's what we will see.
Love always -- Jessica Rose
Oh, Gina, so true. I can't see through my dysphoria most of the time; it obfuscates my ability to see myself as a woman.
I learned to spot beauty in a piece of wood!
When I built models I learned how to shop for wood.
It is a skill to ignore the imperfections and see all the good wood to properly place the value on a piece of wood.
I'd go craft and hobby stores to cherry pick the good wood!
I got to see the Cagary Stampede twenty years ago. A really big time show!
I couple years ago I saw the horse races at the Big E while waiting for the Carly Rae Jepsen concert.
I have an appointment with the FFS doc tomorrow. I think I will schedule the rhinoplasty. I am a little concerned about the finances of it but things have a way of working themselves out.
I am selling off some of my farm equipment that I no longer have need of. Its a start but not enough $. I can tap into savings but not the way I would like to go.
The orange dilator is a stretch. Ok its really a pain. Pun intended! Well I'm starting to get used to it. A little scary that I now have an extra storage compartment. And a case of the sillies.
Celebrated our 38th wedding anniversary. Flowers and a nice diner out. I always love the welcome ladies and so on. Had a customer say, 'Wow they sent a woman, now my door will get fixed right'. Sure is nice to be gendered correctly even in work clothes.
Quote from: Gina P on August 04, 2024, 03:12:07 PMI have an appointment with the FFS doc tomorrow. I think I will schedule the rhinoplasty. I am a little concerned about the finances of it but things have a way of working themselves out.
I am selling off some of my farm equipment that I no longer have need of. Its a start but not enough $. I can tap into savings but not the way I would like to go.
The orange dilator is a stretch. Ok its really a pain. Pun intended! Well I'm starting to get used to it. A little scary that I now have an extra storage compartment. And a case of the sillies.
Celebrated our 38th wedding anniversary. Flowers and a nice diner out. I always love the welcome ladies and so on. Had a customer say, 'Wow they sent a woman, now my door will get fixed right'. Sure is nice to be gendered correctly even in work clothes.
Gina,
It is nice to be gendered correctly. Yes, welcome ladies is a welcomed greeting?
Unsure if either sex is better than the other at fixing doors. It think it depends more on how skilled the repair person is for fixing the specific problem.
Chrissy
Quote from: Gina P on August 04, 2024, 03:12:07 PMCelebrated our 38th wedding anniversary. Flowers and a nice diner out.
Happy Anniversary, Gina!
Wishing you and yours much happiness to come.
Hugs!
Well done ladies!!
Congratulations Gina!
I have much more patience after transitioning, which means I don't get frustrated as easily. Less frustration usually leads leads to a better result.
Love always -- Jess
Where to begin? This week has been a very bad week for me. Depressed all week. I had been on top of the world since my surgery and now have crashed. I have had a rough week at work, having to work extra hours and 9+ hrs a day to try and keep my business afloat. (yes, I'm still supposed to only be doing light duty and not pushing myself) Trying to overcome many problems from a truck not running right to miss ordered items. Add to that my lawyer sends me the next round of legal action on the estate of my mother which always fires up a lot of bad memories. Now my sister in law and her hubby come up for a visit. My wife says they are uncomfortable around me now that I have transitioned.(Florida republicans, need I say more!) I was good enough to fix everything from sewer clogs to replacing a dishwasher for her, now they are uncomfortable around me. I said 'Hi' and left after a half hour to give them some alone time without me.
Struggling to find time to dilate. Voice lesson have gone unpracticed. Somethings gotta give soon. I am going to go for a horse ride today. Not cleared to but I need a few minutes in the saddle to clear my head.
Gina,
I hope everything works out. You take care.
Hugs,
Chrissy
Hang in there, Gina.
From what I understand, post-op depression is a thing. It might be the final bits of anesthesia finally letting go. But it sounds like you have a lot on your plate as it is, so if anything is off that could throw you off balance. Just take your time and work through each issue. You will get through this. Look at all of the issues that you have survived already. This too shall pass.
Hugs!
Ride the storm dear, calmer waters will be ahead. Take care XXXX
Feeling a bit better this week. The work load as lightened a bit. The depression which I recognize as just that, has nothing to do with transitioning its all about the estate and legal battles over it.
I have scheduled a rhinoplasty next month. First of any facial feminizing. My wife was/is against spending the money but I'm doing it anyway. She is not to upset and will get over it. I am a bit concerned about my fall allergies and having a runny nose after the procedure but looking forward to being not so nosey.
I found it worthwhile to learn to identify the little weeds that cause fall allergies, go out in the yard, and pull them! Then I went into the next door neighbor's yard and got rid of those weeds as well!
I also run an air filter but pulling the weeds made the most amount of difference.
A nasal spray helps if you use it daily, but only if you start it before allergy season.
Thanks Maid Marion. I was tested and Ragweed was a big one. I believe corn is another one even though they didn't test for that. I did the shots for a couple of years which helped. My problem is I live in the country surrounded by fields of corn and hay so there is no getting away from it. I do run the ac for the filtering which helps.
Quote from: Gina P on August 17, 2024, 11:33:53 AMThanks Maid Marion. I was tested and Ragweed was a big one. I believe corn is another one even though they didn't test for that. I did the shots for a couple of years which helped. My problem is I live in the country surrounded by fields of corn and hay so there is no getting away from it. I do run the ac for the filtering which helps.
I think the neighbors might get upset if you start pulling up their corn. ;D
First time for everything. Working on a building under construction with no job johnny and having to pee. Had to use the woods. I miss the convenience of having the spout (not really).
Saw my surgeon yesterday. Officially cleared to resume all work duties and able to exercise. She also said it ok to do some exploration. Rhinoplasty is scheduled for 9-12. Only 2 weeks of recovery needed, though several months to a year for the full effect to be seen.
Yes the convenience is the only thing I miss, had to get a porta loo for my garage.
Quote from: davina61 on August 21, 2024, 07:28:22 AMYes the convenience is the only thing I miss, had to get a porta loo for my garage.
Already have a bucket loo for my small horse trailer. Comes in handy.
Voice lessons are progressing. We are working on pitch variation while speaking, This really makes the voice sound female. Pronunciation, meaning saying each word precise. I always tended to slur my words together. Of course maintaining a higher pitch all the time is a must as well. I still struggle with it, when I'm not thinking about it. I never thought this would be this hard.
Quote from: Gina P on August 24, 2024, 07:34:01 AMVoice lessons are progressing. We are working on pitch variation while speaking, This really makes the voice sound female. Pronunciation, meaning saying each word precise. I always tended to slur my words together. Of course maintaining a higher pitch all the time is a must as well. I still struggle with it, when I'm not thinking about it. I never thought this would be this hard.
Hey Gina-- stay with it. Practice. then practice a little more. Not just pitch for me but resonance and brightness, plus "being loud". Great things happen with just a little work along the way. Pro tip-- set an alarm on your phone to remind you to practice.
~Jenn
I received some clothes I ordered online yesterday. 2 dresses, a pair of shorts, and some bras. I absolutely love the one dress and plan on wearing it out to dinner tomorrow evening when I celebrate my birthday. The bras are C cup and I fill them nicely. Feels good to see that. Since GRS boobs have grown some! The shorts are, tight and hug the crotch as women's shorts should.
When I get up in the morning, I feel my breasts and dilate, I cant believe this is me! Such a surreal feeling at times. Sometimes I'm afraid I'll wake up and be my old self.
Went for a short trail ride yesterday. Its nice to be on horseback again. Kept it short to just 3 mikes. Still a little sore and don't want to push it. Planning on going on vacation for a, week of trail riding in Oct. and need to work up to it.
That is a lot of good news!
Yes, voice training is hard because you are trying to change something you have done all your life.
Best way to change is to practice for maybe ten minutes at a time several times a day.
A lot of short sessions is better than a few long ones.
Quote from: Maid Marion on August 25, 2024, 11:10:19 AMThat is a lot of good news!
Yes, voice training is hard because you are trying to change something you have done all your life.
Best way to change is to practice for maybe ten minutes at a time several times a day.
A lot of short sessions is better than a few long ones.
Good advice, MM! My voice coach said the same thing.
I'm in the final round of my training, where she doesn't want me to do the practice exercises, but just practice by using what I have learned in normal conversation. I still fall back to my old voice, but I have found it is warmer and softer than my usual. I noticed it when I reviewed a recording I had made. Talk about affirming.
So glad things are well, Gina!
Happy Birthday, Gina!
Happy birthday, Gina! :icon_birthday:
Love always -- Jess
Happy Birthday,Gina!!!
Have a wonderful day.
Love,Susan_Rose
Happy Birthday my dear XX
@Gina PDear Gina:It is your "special day" today on Monday, August 26th ... you are another
day older and another day wiser.I am wishing YOU a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY :icon_flower: :icon_flower: :icon_birthday: :icon_birthday: :icon_flower: :icon_flower:
I hope that you have a wonderful day of Birthday Celebrations.HUGS, and my best wishes,
Danielle [Northern Star Girl]
(https://i.imgur.com/eWz65jb.jpg)
Thanks for all the Birthday wishes ladies. I went out to dinner with my son and his wife as well as my wife last night. I wore the beautiful pink dress that I just bought. (see my avatar pic) My wife wore a pink sweater top, and my daughter in law wore a pink top as well. Unbeknown to us, the restaurant had a breast cancer fund raiser event going on. The waitress asked, while looking at me, if we were all survivors? (Passed 100%)
Well no wonder you passed looking like that dear!!
@Gina PDear Gina:I loved reading you "Pink Dress" posting.... and you look beautiful in your new Pink Dress.
Thank you for sharing and posting your good news and uploading your new Avatar Profile Picture.
HUGS, and more HUGS,
Danielle
Weather is beautiful here in NJ this Labor day. Sunny and cooler, so for those who know me its nice weather for a trail ride. Increased it a little to 5.5 miles from the last couple of 3 or so. I am planning a week in the beginning of Oct., camping and riding in western Pa. Trying to get in shape as well as getting the horses in shape without overdoing it.
Today is the wife's birthday so we will try and get in another ride as well as out to dinner tonight. I need to make her feel special.
Quote from: Gina P on September 03, 2024, 05:56:38 AMWeather is beautiful here in NJ this Labor day. Sunny and cooler, so for those who know me its nice weather for a trail ride. Increased it a little to 5.5 miles from the last couple of 3 or so. I am planning a week in the beginning of Oct., camping and riding in western Pa. Trying to get in shape as well as getting the horses in shape without overdoing it.
Today is the wife's birthday so we will try and get in another ride as well as out to dinner tonight. I need to make her feel special.
I like the color of your pretty dress in your avatar Gina.
Chrissy
A beautiful Sunday here in NJ. I go in for my rhinoplasty on Thursday. I'm looking forward to that! Doc says I need to take a week off work and not do anything strenuous.
Fall is quickly approaching and I have a couple of fields of hay to get in. I'm going to mow a field today and hopefully bale it Wednesday. I'm a little nervous doing it so close to my surgery date, but I have employees who could help me if necessary.
My brain is very scrambled of late. My son took my wife out for a late birthday dinner yesterday afternoon. I helped with 2 pitchers of sangria then went home to relax. Forgot about my trans group meeting at 7:30. Forgot to inject E in the morning. Trying to find the time to dilate 3 times a day, voice 2 times a day, plus running a business and all the chores around the home can be a bit taxing.
3 months since my GRS and some of the stiches are still there. They are supposed to dissolve but still hang on?? Still not as much sensation as I hoped for, but the doc says its still early and to be patient. Even if this is all I get, I'm in a far better place than before.
I was able to mow the hay Sunday and hit it with the tedder to spread it out to speed drying. Even found the time to go for a late day trail ride of 7 miles just before dark. I was amazed at all the wildlife we saw from many deer and small animals to several hawks swooping between the trees.
I baled the hay yesterday. This will give my hay fever a day to settle down before the surgery. My employees will deliver it on Friday. I need to go grocery shopping today and stop at the library to get a book to occupy my time while recovering. Also hope to color my hair which is starting to show the greys.
I'm thinking a good thought for you, Gina, with your impending surgery.
Gina,
I hope you surgery goes well and the recovery will be better than expected.
Chrissy
Nose surgery is over. Nose is swollen, packed full of something, cast on it, black puffy eyes, sore throat. A real mess. Packing comes out Monday. I'm not supposed to use my CPAP machine for a while. Sleeping will be tough. Doc says in 2 weeks things should, get back to normal though the full effects could take months. I cant wait to see the difference it will male to my face.
Courtney went to the same place and we had my wife drive us. She went first then me. It was really neat to have a friend going through everything at the same time. I had to get up at 4:30am didn't sleep well because of nerves. Now it's almost 3am and I am supposed to sleep with my head elevated and can't get to sleep. Oh well I got a good 2 hours sleep in the operating room. No one said transitioning was going to be easy. Well worth it but not easy.
Gina
Take it easy dear and wait for your body to catch up, you will sleep when you really need it.
Take care Gina.
Chrissy
Glad to hear everything went well. I hope the results exceed your expectations!
Love always -- Jessica Rose
That's awesome that you and Court got to go together. Rest and recuperate. It just takes time.
Spoke to Courtney, she has very little bruising around the eyes while mine are a real mess. Doc said hers surgery was harder, so why am I more swollen? I guess its just body types or something like that. So I still have a hard time posting pictures here so I'll put it up on my avatar for a day or two. Finally able to get some sleep last night. That felt good.
I guess everyone is different.
I hope your recovery proceeds well and swelling is vastly reduced.
Do get your rest.
Chrissy
@Gina PDear Gina:Wow... when I first saw your profile photo showing your bruising around
your eye, my immediate thought was that you fell off of your horse. :)
Be patient... in a week or so, a lot of the bruising and swelling will
start going away..... patience! but the resultant reward will make
all of that well worth it.
`````````````````````````````````````````````````
Regarding the difficulties that you mentioned about posting pictures on
your posts and around the Forum.... I did see that back in February this
year that you were able to put up a photo on your posting:
https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,246921.msg2262950.html#msg2262950
Have you tried using Imgur.com ??? If you are still having problems, please
send me a private message with details so that I can assist you in solving
your picture posting issues.
Wishing you success and happiness when you can finally see the results of your
surgery.HUGS, Danielle [Northern Star Girl]
Quote from: Gina P on September 14, 2024, 08:29:55 AMSpoke to Courtney, she has very little bruising around the eyes while mine are a real mess. Doc said hers surgery was harder, so why am I more swollen? I guess its just body types or something like that. So I still have a hard time posting pictures here so I'll put it up on my avatar for a day or two. Finally able to get some sleep last night. That felt good.
Oh my Gina. This is one significant bruise. However, I hope after it recedes that you are happy with the result.
Hugs,
Chrissy
As we get older we bruise more easily ,bumped my arm the other day and not so I noticed and have an inch size mark thats taken 10days to fade. Hope it recovers soon and you are happy with your new look XXX
Since starting E, everything I touch cuts me or bruises me. The nurse that administered the IV asked if I had gotten into a fight with a cat because of all the scratches on my arm.
Swelling has dropped significantly and the bruising is beginning to fade. I cant wait till I'm able to use my CPAP again. When tested for sleep apnea I had 2 episodes a minute where I stopped breathing. Perhaps this will fix some of that? One can dream!
I see the Doc. tomorrow to have the packing removed. Can't be soon enough for me to be able to breathe again. Then this will all seam like a small passing blip on my life.
I have not had to use any pain meds throughout this. Amazing that it doesn't hurt. Nose is very tender to touch, but that's all.
I ordered an laser/IPL last week. Not an expensive one but it had good reviews. I'll keep you all updated as to how good it works. As my boobs have grown it harder and harder to shave between them. I always had a bit of fur on my stomach and chest which unfortunately HRT has not diminished. Also very annoying to have that bristle feel between shavings.
Gina
I know it takes time to heal. It is good that you are not in pain for that. Hoping all works out well for you.
Hugs!
Lori
I wish you the best Gina.
Chrissy
I had my follow up with the doctor. He removed the packing and I CAN BREATHE again!! Yay. It feels so much more open than I can ever remember. Air passes through so easy. Doc smiled and said that's what I do! He left the clear cast on to protect it for a couple of more days which is fine with me. I worry about bumping it during the night. I go back in a week for a follow up and have the stiches removed from the tip if they are still in there. Black eyes have turned a wonderful shade of yellow and some has settled through my cheeks all the way to my chin. Yikes! I have a horse competition on Saturday. I think I will be using a generous amount of makeup.
Quote from: Gina P on September 16, 2024, 11:32:37 AMI had my follow up with the doctor. He removed the packing and I CAN BREATHE again!! Yay. It feels so much more open than I can ever remember. Air passes through so easy. Doc smiled and said that's what I do! He left the clear cast on to protect it for a couple of more days which is fine with me. I worry about bumping it during the night. I go back in a week for a follow up and have the stiches removed from the tip if they are still in there. Black eyes have turned a wonderful shade of yellow and some has settled through my cheeks all the way to my chin. Yikes! I have a horse competition on Saturday. I think I will be using a generous amount of makeup.
Looks like thins are better. That is good!
Chrissy
Quote from: Gina P on September 16, 2024, 11:32:37 AMI had my follow up with the doctor. He removed the packing and I CAN BREATHE again!! Yay. It feels so much more open than I can ever remember. Air passes through so easy. Doc smiled and said that's what I do! He left the clear cast on to protect it for a couple of more days which is fine with me. I worry about bumping it during the night. I go back in a week for a follow up and have the stiches removed from the tip if they are still in there. Black eyes have turned a wonderful shade of yellow and some has settled through my cheeks all the way to my chin. Yikes! I have a horse competition on Saturday. I think I will be using a generous amount of makeup.
Breathing is always good! ;D
You can speed up the bruising clearing up with Arnica cream. Don't use it near your eyes, but yellow/green spots on your cheek and chin are okay. Since your nose is healing, I would wait to use it there too. It is sort of a mild blood thinner that helps dissipate the bruise once it has healed.
I used it on my face after my eye surgery. Same issue with it on my cheeks.
Glad you are healing well.
Hugs!
Creams do have many uses, don't they?
Chrissy
@Gina P
Dear Gina:
Several days ago you had mentioned here on your Blog thread that you were having
difficulties posting pictures on the Forum.
Please take a look at the following information....
Photo posting Instructions for your Forum postings and private messages
Click Link below:
https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,239999.msg2260062.html#msg2260062
Please let me know if you need assistance.
HUGS, Danielle [Northern Star Girl]
My wife talked me into going for a short trail ride on Wednesday. Yes, only 5 days since the nose job. Somehow while cinching up the horse I bumped my nose on the stirrup. Yeowwww. Lucky i still had the cast on. Had to stop on the trail and cut a small tree out of the way. Only rode 2 miles but I was wiped out. Way to soon, to go riding. We have a competition on Saturday so we were hopping to get a little time in the saddle.
Mowed my last field of hay today. Supposed to have a run of nice weather. Hopefully bale it on Sunday.
Please be careful Gina.
Hope things go well Saturday too.
Chrissy
Quote from: Gina P on September 19, 2024, 03:52:42 PMMy wife talked me into going for a short trail ride on Wednesday. Yes, only 5 days since the nose job. Somehow while cinching up the horse I bumped my nose on the stirrup. Yeowwww. Lucky i still had the cast on. Had to stop on the trail and cut a small tree out of the way. Only rode 2 miles but I was wiped out. Way to soon, to go riding. We have a competition on Saturday so we were hopping to get a little time in the saddle.
Mowed my last field of hay today. Supposed to have a run of nice weather. Hopefully bale it on Sunday.
Looking good, Gina!
Don't be in such a hurry. It will heal if you quit smacking on things. ;D
Hugs!
My doc said the cast on my nose could be removed anytime now but I'm leaving it on for protection. Somehow I bang my nose every night while sleeping, only to wake up in pain. In a few days the sensitivity will subside and all will be good.
On a better note, 3 months, 1 week and no more discharge from the bottom surgery. I'm free from pads!
Quote from: Gina P on September 20, 2024, 05:41:53 AMMy doc said the cast on my nose could be removed anytime now but I'm leaving it on for protection. Somehow I bang my nose every night while sleeping, only to wake up in pain. In a few days the sensitivity will subside and all will be good.
On a better note, 3 months, 1 week and no more discharge from the bottom surgery. I'm free from pads!
Sounds like progress!
Chrissy
I entered the judged trail ride today. My first as Gina! My horse did very good. Its up to the judges now. In a, week or two we should get the results. One of the judges said he was a well trained horse and congratulated me in preforming so well. Another judge said it was the best backup, she had seen all day. I have high hopes for a good score and some bragging rights. Wouldn't you know it half way through the ride I get a bloody nose and drip all over my top. I, tried to clean it a little with a water bottle but wound up pouring it inside my bra. Such is life now.
Good luck!
I hope you get the results you want from the judging.
So my life now... GRS.... Dilate 3 times a day .1/2 hrs. each time. Add ointment on scars to promote healing and still see doctor for follow ups.
Nose surgery...Rinse nose 3 times a day to help healing. salve end of nose. Weekly doctor appointments.
Voice training... 2 times a day 15min each. Meet with voice coach once a week.
Braces... Brush and floss after eating (should be doing that anyway). See Orthodontist every 6 weeks.
Stretching and crunches every morning for back pain.
Makeup most mornings especially to hide bruises under eyes from nose job.
I feel like my life revolves around body maintenance. Moving on. I'm preparing for a week of camping and trail ridding in western Pa. this week. Cool fall weather and many activities provided by the campground. Ranch sorting, Bingo, Band, Costume party, dinners 4 nights. Weather forcast is looking good so far.
It wont go on for ever my dear, hang on in there!!
Oh I forgot, 3 times a week using the IPL.
Hey Gina-- I am 5 weeks post GCS tomorrow. Perhaps this can help. Do we have a lot of self care? yes, we do. When it gets to be a drag in my life? I remind myself I am one of the lucky ones. I tell myself there are so many sisters that won't get a sniff of transition or bottom surgery. I'd be letting them down to complain too much. A little complaining is human.
As for the rest? well. Rest days are a training principle. Once in a while skipping a voice practice or flossing doesn't mean the world is going to end. It means you come back the next time a little stronger, a little more ready. Give yourself permission to take a break once in a while. You will come back stronger.
hope it helps. stay optimistic.
~Jenn
Thanks Jenn and Davina. I hope I didn't come across as complaining. Just stating a fact. Life has sure changed from the old throw on a T shirt and go days. I wouldn't change it for the world! Also trying to get everything done NOW instead of stretching it out over several years has its challenges.
On another note, went to a Billy Joel tribute band on Saturday. Courtney was playing drums. It was an outdoor show, in the drizzling rain. 12 people stuck it out. Last year I'm told they had 1500. Sad to see so few fans.
Always sad when that happens, free band practice time! You can "moan" all you like dear but we know its just saying what needs to be done. It can be a faff ,good "warning" for all that have to go through this. XXXX
So, I received 2nd place in the trail competition a couple of weeks ago. Not to bad in an open gender group of 25. Though I'm sure I had some sort of advantage being trans, right?
On vacation, holiday for those across the pond, for a week of trail ridding and fun. We got lost yesterday and finally found our way out to a road but were to far out to make it back before dark so we had to call for a ride back. Thankfully they came with a trailer and picked us up. They had Bingo at the camp last night. Games were only a dollar each. Wouldn't you know it my wife won a brand new saddle with rack and $52. Then tells me she switched cards, with me in the beginning. Tonight is ranch sorting which should be fun. Then a band and costume party tomorrow night. Gotta ride. By all!
Quote from: Gina P on October 04, 2024, 10:39:43 AMSo, I received 2nd place in the trail competition a couple of weeks ago. Not to bad in an open gender group of 25. Though I'm sure I had some sort of advantage being trans, right?
On vacation, holiday for those across the pond, for a week of trail ridding and fun. We got lost yesterday and finally found our way out to a road but were to far out to make it back before dark so we had to call for a ride back. Thankfully they came with a trailer and picked us up. They had Bingo at the camp last night. Games were only a dollar each. Wouldn't you know it my wife won a brand new saddle with rack and $52. Then tells me she switched cards, with me in the beginning. Tonight is ranch sorting which should be fun. Then a band and costume party tomorrow night. Gotta ride. By all!
Congratulations!
Chrissy
They had a Halloween party at the camp last night. I went as red ridding hood and my wife as the big bad wolf. One woman came up to me at the start and said she liked my costume and said i looked beautiful. Women can be so nice. My wife won $50 for the best costume, though I thought we were a team. I danced as much as my bad hip would allow. The women all danced with me as one of thier own. Felt great being part of the club. Its been a fun week of being called lady. Now 5 hr. ride back home and start the work week. Blah...
That sounds like so much fun!
My nose surgery continues to heal. Swelling is slowly going down. I would have liked it to be much smaller but the doctor said it would look silly to have a tiny nose on a large face. I guess I'll have to wait and see the final results.
When we returned from vacation the depression hit hard. I hate living here and am considering selling and moving. I feel like 'Jenny' in Forest Gump when she visits her old house and starts throwing rocks at it. My wife wants to stay here but will move with me if that is what I decide to do. I would have to close or sell my business as well. At 62 and trans I'm afraid my employment opportunities are few. Early retirement looks great but I'm not sure if the finances will support that. We had a realtor come by and is going to give us a home value. There is much work to be done to sell and much more to down size to move. We have much to consider! I am afraid I might be shooting myself in the foot just to have piece of mind.
Any body know much about West Virginia? Property is really cheap. Is it trans friendly? I love the mountains.
I had a great experience while working, a neighbor came over to the job and said I looked just like someone he played bingo with. He said, Connie and I could pass for twin sisters! Made my day.
I went ahead and made an appointment to view a piece of property in WV next week. Not sure yet if this is the right decision but just looking at this point.
Dilation took a down turn. I missed a couple of mid day dilations and have been struggling with depth. I have retained my depth but now have some blood and back to wearing pads. I see the doc on Friday for a checkup. Work has been quite busy and my mind just isn't into it.
I've never been to West Virginia, but from the photos I've seen it's appears to be a beautiful state. According to the Movement Advancement Project, West Virginia is ranked 31 out of 56 on the topic of 'gender identity'.
https://www.lgbtmap.org/equality-maps/index/policies?sortdir=desc&sort1=identity&sort2=total
Relocating can provided a wonderful, fresh start after transition. However, in addition to being expensive, you will also lose most of your support network. You will need to find new doctors, dentists, hair stylists, etc. This can be a daunting task anywhere, but being trans can make it even more difficult than usual. Susan and I relocated a few years after all my surgeries were complete. I still think it was a good idea, but the only electrologist I trust is now nearly 1000 miles away.
I occasionally have issues with dilation. It could be because I've dropped down to twice a week. Yes, it can be a struggle at times. However, I would much rather deal with this than continue being the person I used to be. Just be patient, and careful.
Love always -- Jess
I saw the GRS doc on Friday. I have a green light for anything including sex. She was very pleased with my healing. At just 4 months post op now. I thought it would be 6 months but I have healed quick. I went out and bought a toy to celebrate. Still no big O but hopefully soon.
That is great news!
New toys are always fun to try. ;D
No trail ride this weekend. My wife's horse is sick with a respiratory infection. Vet was out and I think we caught is soon enough. Weather is absolutely beautiful. Leaves are in thier full glory, temps are in the 60's, not a cloud in the sky.
I am fixing things on the house incase we try to sell it. The thought brings about a rollercoaster of emotions. I built this house to die in. It has all the conveniences for getting old in, including wide doors, a handicap shower, almost no steps etc. But every time I see my niece and her family on the property I tended to all the years, it grieves me. Moving hopefully would help. At least it would not be in my face every day. I also feel I should not be forced off my own land but feel my piece of mind is worth far more.
At least I'm happy with my body now and that means a lot!
So we had our road trip to West Virginia. The house and land was a bit of a bust. The house reeked of cat urine, land was overgrown with brush, and everything needed maintaince. The land was almost vertical and the water was contaminated. So we keep looking! On a good note, the 6+ hr. ride down there was beautiful with all the fall foliage. The hotel we stayed in had a pool so I donned my girly swimsuit. It felt great and I thoroughly enjoyed myself. As a guy I was always embarrassed to go with swim trunks.
Quote from: Gina P on October 25, 2024, 11:43:32 AMSo we had our road trip to West Virginia. The house and land was a bit of a bust. The house reeked of cat urine, land was overgrown with brush, and everything needed maintaince. The land was almost vertical and the water was contaminated. So we keep looking! On a good note, the 6+ hr. ride down there was beautiful with all the fall foliage. The hotel we stayed in had a pool so I donned my girly swimsuit. It felt great and I thoroughly enjoyed myself. As a guy I was always embarrassed to go with swim trunks.
I had to get to work yesterday and ran out of time to finish my thought.
A very interesting part of swimming was how buoyant I have become. I have always been a sinker my whole life but now can float.
Just looking the new piece of property gave me a renewed state of mind, realizing I am not trapped here. There are options if I want to take them. We had an relator look at our current property and he said the value was around $550k which gives us options should we decide to move. Until then I will continue to prep things for sale should we find a new place.
I have an appointment this coming week for pelvic floor therapy. My gender surgeon recommended I go for a few sessions. I'm not sure what it's all about but I'll give it a try. I also have an appointment to see another doctor about getting my hip replaced. They had told me several years ago to do it but I have been resisting. Some days the pain gets so bad I need a crutch to walk but others there is no pain.
Voice lessons are progressing. We are working on showing emotions through pitch and putting more emphasis on certain syllables. I still have trouble in normal conversations keeping my new voice and find I revert back to the old one. Practice, practice, practice!
I have been busy fixing up my current home for sale. Painting and finishing things that I had neglected to do when I built it 23 years ago. Anyway, I managed to throw out my back! First time in many years. So I have been living on pain killers for the last couple of days. I think it is a little better today, time for more stretching.
They say old age dont come alone!! Feel for you dear as I have to be very careful not to put my back out. Get better soonXXX
I scheduled a hip replacement on Dec 3. Trying to get all my surgeries done before my deductible resets in January. Everyone tells me this is an easy one. Same day in and out of the hospital. Not looking forward to this one but the pain is unbearable some days. One leg is shorter than the other due to the bad joint so that could be throwing my back out of alignment.
Also started my pelvic floor therapy. The doctor who did my GRS said I should do it. The therapist did a very thorough exam poking and pushing deep inside. Then suggested a bunch of stretching exercises to do at home. Its supposed to limit scar tissue growth. One more thing to do.
Gina, just remember we are high-maintenance performance vehicles that need upgrades periodically. I hope your surgery goes well and you have a quick recovery!
Quote from: Emma1017 on October 30, 2024, 05:00:49 PMGina, just remember we are high-maintenance performance vehicles that need upgrades periodically. I hope your surgery goes well and you have a quick recovery!
Gee, am I getting a new axle installed?
Worked on a ladder up and down most of yesterday. Pain in hip was quite bad. No doubt I have to get it fixed. The doctor was a bit uncomfortable with me being trans, not wanting to say anything that might offend me. He had examined me a few years ago as a man. I asked if we could install female hips to give me more curves to which I got a grin and an explanation of there are only 1 style. It relaxed him.
I voted yesterday. Early voting in NJ. The sample ballot was mailed to my dead name so I tucked my hair under my hat and wore a sweat shirt to hide my female assets. I felt totally ridiculous. Just another affirmation that I made the right decision to transition.
Gina, we are classy all-terrain vehicles!
I'm in NY and voted yesterday. In this election, I wished I lived in a swing state...
My wife and I went trail riding yesterday. My horse was full of himself and wanted to go go go. After holding him back for a bit, he decided to start bucking. Very unlike him. Later on he had another spate of bucking and almost dislodged me. Now I find myself not wanting to get hurt and screw up the hip surgery. We cut the ride a little short, 8 miles. Both me and my wife were sore. It has been about a month since we rode which explains why the horse misbehaved.
Saturday I went to a neighbors and brush hogged. I wish I was doing more feminine things but I have to do what I must.
The back feels a little better today. I feel I might be able to resume fixing up the house. Cough still lingers though.
I tried doubling my Progesterone for the last 2 weeks. Taking 100mg in the morning and 100 in the evening. I have seen my boobs swell a bit but my food cravings have went through the roof. I gained 10lbs. This will have to wait to try again until I shed a few pounds.
I had my blood work done yesterday. E is at 323 pg/ml. I wonder if taking more progesterone bumped it up. I'm sure I will her about it from the Endo next visit. She is one who believes in the least hormones needed are best. She also has me stopping all Progesterone for the upcoming hip surgery, so we will se if that lowers the E. I have noticed I have been a bit more moody since upping my P and food cravings are through the roof.
I'm so glad the election is over! Now perhaps the media will get back to reporting the news instead of all this political doom and gloom we have been hearing of. So tired of the name calling and lies from both sides.
Went for a pelvic floor therapy session per my plastic surgeon's advise. I was a bit surprised at all the stretching of the internal structures she did. And yes internally!! She also advised me on how to do it. But it was the first time aside from a quick exam that someone else was pushing, pulling and stroking around inside my vagina. It's supposed to loosen things up in there and prevent and decrease the scaring. I must admit I was surprised by the thoroughness of her work.
Work continues on my home. Trying to get the outside stuff done before the weather turns bad. What a run of nice weather we have had but we need rain bad.
Worked on finishing the skirt boards around the base of my log home. After almost 25 years since I built this, they are getting done. As always there is always some hiccups. I had to remove the outside faucets to install the boards then drill and replace with an inch and a half added to the pipe length. The shut off valve wouldn't close completely, forcing me to shut off the whole house and run to Home depot. Sweat a new piece on and was good to go. Next I have to bleach the boards and stain/seal. I hope they match the rest of the house.
We had a walnut tree blown over in a wind. Posted the log on Market place and sold for a quick $100.
Since stopping Progesterone, I have noticed my moods are a little better. Not a lot but a little. The doc also has me on a ton of vitamins for the upcoming hip surgery. My hip has been giving me excruciating pain lately. I am glad, as this removes all doubts as to whether I should be doing the surgery.
Going to visit my son this afternoon after our weekly trail ride. He is going to fix my computer. It did an update now I am no longer have access my emails. I hate updates!
Gotta ride. Gina
Stained my skirt boards with some left over stain from the last time I did the house. Wouldn't you know it they are much lighter in color. I will let them age over winter and try to fix the problem in the spring.
Wen
Happy Thanksgiving Gina!
Chrissy
Happy Thanksgiving all!
Not sure what happened to my last post. Looks like only half was posted.
Went for pre-therapy for my hip replacement. I have been very nervous about this one. The therapist helped ease many of my concerns and explained the recovery process. He said many patients use just a cane after a day or two instead of a walker. Also with the newer anterior, or front approach, has no restrictions of what I am able to do after surgery. Of, course they don't want any heavy lifting for a few days.
I still struggle with the voice lessons. Many times getting sir on the phone. I do very well at the lessons then revert after. Its more of a mind thing than voice? Very frustrating.
I've gained a few pounds and it seams most has went to my breasts. Not a bad thing. Now a 46" over 40" I put on a button up shirt that I hadn't wore in a while and had to struggle to button it up over my bra. A very good feeling!
Quote from: Gina P on November 28, 2024, 08:07:49 AMHappy Thanksgiving all!
Not sure what happened to my last post. Looks like only half was posted.
Went for pre-therapy for my hip replacement. I have been very nervous about this one. The therapist helped ease many of my concerns and explained the recovery process. He said many patients use just a cane after a day or two instead of a walker. Also with the newer anterior, or front approach, has no restrictions of what I am able to do after surgery. Of, course they don't want any heavy lifting for a few days.
I still struggle with the voice lessons. Many times getting sir on the phone. I do very well at the lessons then revert after. Its more of a mind thing than voice? Very frustrating.
I've gained a few pounds and it seams most has went to my breasts. Not a bad thing. Now a 46" over 40" I put on a button up shirt that I hadn't wore in a while and had to struggle to button it up over my bra. A very good feeling!
I did keep a smallish shirt just to have that upstairs struggle! A nice affirmation!
But it is better to have those better fitting tops for comfort. I do wear occasionally a smaller stretchier top with no buttons to emphasize the look up there. Otherwise I go for everyday looks and comfort.
Chrissy
So tomorrow is the big day, I go for my hip replacement.
Best wishes my dear, hope it goes okayXXX
Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
Let us know how it goes.
Gina,
I hope the surgery went well.
Chrissy
Hip surgery went well, according to the doctor. Some of the worst pain I have endured. I had one heck of a time getting on and off the toilet. Its bit better today, though far from comfortable.
@Gina PDear Gina:Congratulations on getting your "new axle" installed !!!!
Added to your list of body maintenance ... Healing, Physical Therapy,
and eventually more exercises to get your new hip working as it should.
An elevated toilet seat with handles will help you.... and a walker
and a cane.
The golden years!!!HUGS, Danielle[Northern Star Girl]
Quote from: Gina P on December 04, 2024, 06:10:40 AMHip surgery went well, according to the doctor. Some of the worst pain I have endured. I had one heck of a time getting on and off the toilet. Its bit better today, though far from comfortable.
Congrats, Gina!
Hope it heals up quickly. There are horses that need to be ridden soon. ;D
I have a walker and a cane. Without the walker I would be totally immobile. I hope to get to just the cane tomorrow. Luckily the house is a ranch with no steps. The raised toilet seat and handles would be nice but I don't have any. So where is this Gold, Danielle?
Thanks for the prayers and well wishes, ladies.
@Gina PDear Gina:
Regarding a raised toilet seat with handles.... A couple years ago when visiting my parents I bought one at Walmart, fairly inexpensive ... also many full service pharmacies and drug stores may have them.
Wishing you well.
HUGS, DanielleQuote from: Gina P on December 04, 2024, 11:39:34 AMI have a walker and a cane. Without the walker I would be totally immobile. I hope to get to just the cane tomorrow. Luckily the house is a ranch with no steps. The raised toilet seat and handles would be nice but I don't have any. So where is this Gold, Danielle?
Thanks for the prayers and well wishes, ladies.
https://houseofcanes.com/blogs/blog/caregivers-guide-to-walking-canes-choosing-and-using-canes-for-your-loved-one
They have lots of helpful advice on selecting and using canes.
I have an ranch house that was adapted to someone with mobility issues.
Quote from: Gina P on December 04, 2024, 11:39:34 AMSo where is this Gold, Danielle?
I have it all. < sinister laugh >
Except what's in Alaska. Too cold up there for me to go get it. ;D
So I have transitioned (pun intended) to the cane. I now have no problem with the toilet, either! The more I walk and move, the better I feel. Leg is still swollen and mostly numb from a nerve blocker they had injected, but the feeling is slowly coming back.
I had PT yesterday. Therapist was surprised to see me on a cane instead of the walker. That's why I hate to buy all the med equipment just for a few days use. I now walk around the house a few times, do my PT exercises, dilate, then lay down for a few hours and repeat. My horse is calling. I must get better fast.
Glad to hear you are healing well!
So exciting!
so I got ahead of myself and decided to go without any pain meds. Big mistake!! I was back to the walker and then barely moving. Back on the prescribed meds now and feeling a bit better, even went outside for a short walk. The nerve blocker must be wearing off. lots of tingly sensations followed by intense burning, tearing feelings. I dd a bit of research and found most are back to work in 8 weeks or less. Can't be soon enough for me.
Pain has been on the uptick. Spent one of the worst nights last night. I always felt I was a tough cookie. But now am I just a sissy? Day 5 and no relief. Called the doc's office, waiting for a response. I have reached the, what was thinking, having this done, point!
It will get better, Gina. I think many of us have learned the lesson about falling behind on our pain meds, but we still allow it to happen occasionally. Resting more and taking things easy for several weeks will be better than weeks or months of discomfort. I realize that can be difficult when you're used to be active. It's OK to be a couch potato right now.
Love always -- Jess
Finally able to get a few hours of sleep a night. The pain has become more of an charlie horse in my thigh. I have been feeling a bit dizzy of late and decided to cut out all the pain meds except Tylenol. Its been 2 days and pain is no differant but still a bit dizzy. I am now able to walk around the house without the help of a cane. I still use one when venturing out for balance. Its a slow recovery but I guess its to be expected.
My dog, Dusty, has not been doing well. At 13, I hope the end is not near. Had her to the vet for a $500+ bill for xrays, blood work, you name it. Vet says she is stumped as everything comes back normal. Except the dog won't eat and has labored breathing.
Hi Gina!
It sure took some courage of you to take this big step of surgery.
Sorry you have had your discomfort afterwards. I guess some is to be expected but still...
Chrissy
Thanks Chrissy, I'm sure in a few months I will look back and think it wasn't that bad. Till then , What the he.. Was I thinking. Having them cut my femur off!
in other news, I went to my trans groups Christmas party last night. Since I'm not supposed to drive, my wife came with me. It was the first time she had come to a meeting.
Visited Courtney in her beautiful new home yesterday. They exchanged thier wedding vows in front of the setting sun on the shores of the Chesapeake bay. A beautiful ceremony, very cold but nice. Just nice being able to celebrate with her family and friends. On the way home my emotions caught up with me and i cried a little. First time crying in a very long time.
On other news the hip continues to heal little by little. Doing most of my walking without a cane now. Even started back to work, doing some light duty things like estimates. Had to reset a cable on a 12' tall door so the road dept. could get a salt truck out. I didn't plan on it but was able to do it. Been a couple of, crazy days with my business. Friday my scissor lift broke down. Guys were able to get it on the trailer and back to the shop. Then the tilt trailer got stuck in the up position. My furnace for the house acted up and house started getting cold. So Sunday is fix it day. Furnace is fixed, trailer is fixed. Parts are ordered for the lift. Such is my life.
10f outside today. A fitting start to the first day of winter. I find every year I dislike the cold more and more.
Stay warm dear, things happen in 3s so you should be fine now! 10C is as cold as I like--------
I am so happy that you got to attend Courtney's wedding. It sounds beautiful.
It is always a good thing when you can mend yourself and other stuff that breaks down due to age. ;D
Today, it is 55F here. Yes, thank you, and may I have another?
I should not have complained about 10 deg. Got up to -4 this morning. It hasn't been this cold in a good many years.
The yard furnace acted up again last night. A bare wire shorted out. I wrapped with electric tape to get through. Had to go to the auto parts store for a new fuse. Fun after dark in the cold holding a flashlight in my mouth.. Take 2......
You need a neck light for that, been there and done it. Jaw starts to hurt and dribble down your chin!!
Thanks Emma, Merry Christmas to you and your family.
A local firewood company had free firewood so I was able to get a trailer load yesterday. Mostly longer pieces. So I fired up the chainsaw and cut most of it down to size. Today my back is hurting. And of course my leg. Still cant sleep through the night. I get up and walk around the house a couple of times a night to get the cramping out. Its getting better but slowly.
Struggling with a bit of depression. Comes every year as the days get short. Also the holiday blues are bad this year. Ill be fine in a, few weeks.
Merry Christmas Gina!
Chrissy
Merry Christmas everyone.
Went to church last night. A friends son, who has been having a lot of emotional problems including not wanting to leave the house came out to the family that 'She' is trans and wants a gender change. It is nice to be confided in on such matters. Of course I offered my help in any way possible.
Merry Christmas, Gina!
As I said we went to church last night. The church had a new organist. The pastor introduced 'him' and his fiancée, a 'man' who was sitting in the front pew. The church is really getting progressive. Very nice to see.
My wife gave me a beautiful pink sweater, a gold necklace with 'Dundee' on it and several tops with pink of course and a new pair of stretchy jeans. I was great to get affirming clothing from her. It felt so good to have her embrace my new identity.
On another note: I have been getting terrible hot flashes lately. Sweating profusely at times then cold another. Perhaps I need to cut down on the E. I've also been off Progesterone for a while, per the Endo's orders for the hip surgery. I miss it. Another week and I can resume it.
Quote from: Gina P on December 25, 2024, 08:51:47 AMAs I said we went to church last night. The church had a new organist. The pastor introduced 'him' and his fiancée, a 'man' who was sitting in the front pew. The church is really getting progressive. Very nice to see.
My wife gave me a beautiful pink sweater, a gold necklace with 'Dundee' on it and several tops with pink of course and a new pair of stretchy jeans. I was great to get affirming clothing from her. It felt so good to have her embrace my new identity.
On another note: I have been getting terrible hot flashes lately. Sweating profusely at times then cold another. Perhaps I need to cut down on the E. I've also been off Progesterone for a while, per the Endo's orders for the hip surgery. I miss it. Another week and I can resume it.
That sounds supportive Gina. Very nice.
Chrissy
Quote from: Gina P on December 25, 2024, 08:51:47 AMOn another note: I have been getting terrible hot flashes lately. Sweating profusely at times then cold another. Perhaps I need to cut down on the E. I've also been off Progesterone for a while, per the Endo's orders for the hip surgery. I miss it. Another week and I can resume it.
That happens to me when my E is too low. The progesterone doesn't make a difference in that regard, but it helps with boob health and a good night's sleep.
I hope more churches become accepting like that. They seem to forget Christ's message and substitute their own interpretation instead.
Those are wonderful gifts and I love PINK!
Merry Christmas, Gina.
We should love everyone. Some are hard to love because they are hurtful.
That doesn't mean not mean we need to like them.
Be a good, warm, kind, and loving person so no one has a reason to dislike you. Yet, some will for some reason. All well.
Hugs,
Chrissy
I was finally able to sleep through the night. Second one and counting. I wake up with a sore back and my leg hurts a bit, but with a good nights sleep. Yaa.
Had another dream( the second one) of a sexual encounter with a woman. Not anyone I know but I have my male part and come dry since I have had an orchi. Strange since I have never had an orchi. I think its my mind saying its time for an orgasm. Over 6 months since surgery and I have yet to achieve one. Granted with the nose job and now the hip, I have had a bit on my mind.
Quote from: Gina P on December 27, 2024, 07:55:45 AMI was finally able to sleep through the night. Second one and counting. I wake up with a sore back and my leg hurts a bit, but with a good nights sleep. Yaa.
I wish healing your way so you can get a good nights sleep.
Love and hugs,
Leigh
Wishing you a good night's sleep, maybe a few after that as well, Gina.
Maybe a new power tool ;) needed?
Happy New Year to all. I hope its a good one!
Slipped last night while putting wood in the yard burner. I have some pain in the hip now. I hope its just a strained muscle.
Managed to stay awake long enough to watch the ball drop last night. Very uneventful for us. Having my son over today for diner.
Still struggling with depression. I so much want to move and retire. The old memories are to strong here. Had a good heart to heart talk with my wife. She said she really doesn't want to move unless it is really the right place. I just want out and asap. The thought of moving alone without her terrifies me. I have not went to counseling for couple of months. I think I will go back soon.
Quote from: Gina P on January 01, 2025, 08:46:59 AMHappy New Year to all. I hope its a good one!
Slipped last night while putting wood in the yard burner. I have some pain in the hip now. I hope its just a strained muscle.
Managed to stay awake long enough to watch the ball drop last night. Very uneventful for us. Having my son over today for diner.
Still struggling with depression. I so much want to move and retire. The old memories are to strong here. Had a good heart to heart talk with my wife. She said she really doesn't want to move unless it is really the right place. I just want out and asap. The thought of moving alone without her terrifies me. I have not went to counseling for couple of months. I think I will go back soon.
Gina,
Maybe you can find a way to be at peace and enjoy where you currently live?
Chrissy
Gina, you have conquered so much, I have tremendous confidence in you and your wife to move forward.
Warmly,
Emma
Have a nice year ahead Gina.
Chrissy
Go with the flow dear, something always turns up at the right time.
Thanks for the words of encouragement. I'm sure it will all work out if I don't loose my head. The court case over my moms estate still drags on. The will has yet to be settled. I just want to put this chapter in life behind me. I wish god would make me bird, so I could fly far, far away from this place.
Its been a rough couple of weeks. My wife and I have been fighting almost every day. Then she tops it off with my business, which she does the books, needs $13k from the home equity to stay afloat. Of course its my fault for taking time off for surgeries. She also says in one of our screaming matches, she doesn't want to move. If its, the right place she will consider it but of course they are all million dollar mansions.
At my therapy session we discussed the possibility of a break up. After 38 years together its hard to comprehend. Could I find love again. Would I want a man or a woman? Would I be happy in a smaller home with less? Much to ponder.
A few positives have occurred, my inability to cry has been cured and I have had a few good cry's.
Quote from: Gina P on January 12, 2025, 07:39:48 AMIts been a rough couple of weeks. My wife and I have been fighting almost every day. Then she tops it off with my business, which she does the books, needs $13k from the home equity to stay afloat. Of course its my fault for taking time off for surgeries. She also says in one of our screaming matches, she doesn't want to move. If its, the right place she will consider it but of course they are all million dollar mansions.
At my therapy session we discussed the possibility of a break up. After 38 years together its hard to comprehend. Could I find love again. Would I want a man or a woman? Would I be happy in a smaller home with less? Much to ponder.
A few positives have occurred, my inability to cry has been cured and I have had a few good cry's.
Gina,
I am at a loss for what to say. You have experienced a lot there. I hope it all works out.
Hugs,
Chrissy
Gina, I am so sorry for what you have to deal with. I hope that it all works out. You are a very strong person.
Make sure you do something nice for yourself.
Have a calming, relaxing day and enjoy it with your wife Gina.
Your time off work is a one time thing really so although there may be a one time deficit the business may be much better after you can return to it full time. But do study the business and its market to see if it should be continued or sold in part or whole.
Chrissy
I'm sorry to hear that, Gina.
I hope that she is just emotionally reacting to all that is going on. You have gone through a lot, mentally and physically, and that affects her mentally and emotionally. Take some time to work through it and your destination will become more clear. We are hoping for the best.
Thanks ladies,
Wife is all lovey now as the cycle begins anew. We have been down this road so many times. I just want off this roller coaster. I went to my trans group meeting Saturday night. Winter depression was the topic. I'm sure it is effecting both of us.
Split some firewood, with the splitter, on Saturday. Came in soaked with sweat and exhausted. Got a quick shower and then a 3hr nap. Wow am I out of shape.
I have been contemplating laying off one of the employees to save money but this would mean I have to take his place and since I still have hip PT, pelvic floor PT, and speech therapy during the week it will make things difficult. Much to think about.
I stopped the speech therapy for a while. Hip PT should only be another week. This should lighten up my schedule to do other things. Still have pelvic floor therapy and mental health counseling. Mind games continue... I look in the mirror and see a man with long hair staring back then ten minutes latter see the woman that I am. Freaky!
Went on a short trail ride yesterday. The first with my new hip. I had been given the riot act by the doctor and my PT trainer about not falling off or very bad things can happen. I was a little nervous but calmed down and enjoyed most of the ride. It started snowing half way through and made a beautiful scene. Managed to split more firewood Friday so now we have enough for a few weeks. Today I'm still sore. We are supposed to get 6" of snow today, so its off to get the plow truck fueled up and check all the fluids.
Took my son and his wife out to dinner for their birthdays yesterday. Good times, 200 dollar bill. Sold an old snowmobile last night for $200. Quick in and out. Trying to get rid of some old stuff just collecting dust.
Take it easy dear we dont want any setbacks. I know the feeling of in one hand and out the other, sold some car bits for £300 and just bought 2 engines and auto box for my new hot rod for 350 plus shipping. Yes without my wig its harder to see me but I am there with it.
Quote from: Gina P on January 19, 2025, 08:16:59 AMI stopped the speech therapy for a while. Hip PT should only be another week. This should lighten up my schedule to do other things. Still have pelvic floor therapy and mental health counseling. Mind games continue... I look in the mirror and see a man with long hair staring back then ten minutes latter see the woman that I am. Freaky!
Went on a short trail ride yesterday. The first with my new hip. I had been given the riot act by the doctor and my PT trainer about not falling off or very bad things can happen. I was a little nervous but calmed down and enjoyed most of the ride. It started snowing half way through and made a beautiful scene. Managed to split more firewood Friday so now we have enough for a few weeks. Today I'm still sore. We are supposed to get 6" of snow today, so its off to get the plow truck fueled up and check all the fluids.
Took my son and his wife out to dinner for their birthdays yesterday. Good times, 200 dollar bill. Sold an old snowmobile last night for $200. Quick in and out. Trying to get rid of some old stuff just collecting dust.
Gina,
You might as well get rid of some stuff you do not need or want, as this stuff just takes up space.
Chrissy
Quote from: Gina P on January 19, 2025, 08:16:59 AMI stopped the speech therapy for a while. Hip PT should only be another week. This should lighten up my schedule to do other things. Still have pelvic floor therapy and mental health counseling. Mind games continue... I look in the mirror and see a man with long hair staring back then ten minutes latter see the woman that I am. Freaky!
Went on a short trail ride yesterday. The first with my new hip. I had been given the riot act by the doctor and my PT trainer about not falling off or very bad things can happen. I was a little nervous but calmed down and enjoyed most of the ride. It started snowing half way through and made a beautiful scene. Managed to split more firewood Friday so now we have enough for a few weeks. Today I'm still sore. We are supposed to get 6" of snow today, so its off to get the plow truck fueled up and check all the fluids.
Took my son and his wife out to dinner for their birthdays yesterday. Good times, 200 dollar bill. Sold an old snowmobile last night for $200. Quick in and out. Trying to get rid of some old stuff just collecting dust.
Gina,
Do you split by hand or do you use a log splitter?
Chrissy
Quote from: ChrissyRyan on January 19, 2025, 12:36:42 PMGina,
Do you split by hand or do you use a log splitter?
Chrissy
I have a hydraulic splitter but many of the logs I am splitting are huge and its a challenge to get them under the splitter. I recently got a few loads of rejects from a company that sells wood. Pieces with a 'y' or knots. It was free but nasty stuff.
Another week gone. Its been brutally cold here in NJ, -9 one morning. Minus or around 0 the rest. I know that's balmy those up in the far north (Danielle). I still struggle with my memories. Don't get me wrong, way less intense as when I had my GD along with it. I used to worry about keeping busy to try and forget my troubles. Now the list of things that need doing is a downer and I just want to sit inside.
I have been dismissed from PT for my hip. All is good.
Had a 7 month follow up with my gender doctor. All is going well. Still on 3 times a day dilation till the 10 month mark.
Gina,
I hope that each day brings better times and feelings for you.
I am glad your hip is doing well.
Chrissy
Another week slips by and I feel like a passenger in this life. The wife and I have been fighting almost constantly. The business, which I had turned over much control to her so I could work in the field more, has been a train wreck. Loosing money. Customers unhappy. I laid off an employee who under performs. Now have an employee who has been out for months on medical leave, wants to return. Wife says no way. Cant afford to pay him..... I need him so I, guess we can fight about this one too.
Hip therapy is complete. Pelvic floor therapy is complete. I stopped voice training. Missed my app. with the counselor. Tired of running all the time non stop. Fix one problem, 2 more pop up. Something has to change.
My old self popped out briefly during the week as I dove into a job full force. Dam my nails and body, just get the job done. Forget about being trans and go, go...Scary that he is still there.
Quote from: Gina P on February 01, 2025, 08:42:06 AMScary that he is still there.
No "HE" isn't. never was.
Our minds react to situations using whatever we have learned in the past is the best way to get through the situation. You are still you.
As a kid, I learned that to prevent being bullied, I had to become a bully. It is an old habit that took a long time to overcome.
Later, after I learned how to defend myself, I still react similarly to perceived "threats" to myself or others. My posture changes, I stand taller and my voice becomes more assertive. I'm still me. My mind is just reacting to the situation the best it knows how.
The same thing is happening with you. You know how you have handled stressful situations before and it is easy to fall back into that mode to get through it. Eventually, you will learn new ways to react and you may not even notice it.
I hope you are able to get things worked out. I trust that you will, but it sucks until that happens.
"When you are up to your ass in alligators, it is difficult to remember that your job was to drain the swamp."
Gina,
Life is full of hardships and trauma and drama.
Troubles continue to pop up. How we deal with them is important.
Do think out your business situation carefully and try to do what is best for you two, the business, its customers, and its employee(s). If the business shuts down, think about what you will do for income. If you continue your business, think about your action plan, that is, what you will do to keep it going and stop losing money.
I am glad your hip rehabilitation and pelvic floor therapy is complete.
Slipping back into your old self sounds like something you had to do on an emergency, urgent basis. I realize that must have been very hard for you. Sometimes we just do what is expedient or we deem necessary. It may not be pleasant though.
I do wish you really good outcomes with your business decision and your relationship with your wife.
Hugs,
Chrissy
Thanks, ladies for the help and support. I relieved my wife of most of her duties. Much yelling and screaming. But its done! Hired the employee back that's been on disability. I told my wife that she deserved to be retired and enjoy herself. I hope that smoothed things out. I actually am looking forward to the change. With every good there is a bad... Many of my doors come from Canada and I have several orders in the works, now with Trump tariffs due to start this week, how do I tell the customer your door just went up 25%? Such is my life.
In other news, I sold another hay wagon that I no longer use. At least now I have some cash in my pocketbook.
Just tell them the truth, your idiot of a "leader" has caused this serves you right for voting for it.
My new glasses came in and I love them. (see my avatar) They are much bigger than the last pair, so if I wear eye make up it should be visible.
Drove my truck on Tuesday, horrible grinding noise from the brakes. New rotors, calipers, and pads. Almost $1000 in parts. Lucky i have the ability to fix myself. Replaced a fuel pump on my backhoe which is my go to vehicle when cutting firewood. Feels like I've been playing mechanic all week.
On good news, no fights with the wife this week.
Gina,
That all sounds positive except for the expenses. Did you replace all the brakes on all four wheels? It is good that you can make the repairs.
How does a backhoe work with firewood? Does it carry it to your splitter? Or is there a splitter attached to the backhoe?
Chrissy
Do have a nice Saturday too Gina! Maybe take a horse ride?
Chrissy
Any gear heads, I need help.
Backhoe, diesel motor, runs for 5 minutes then slowly slows down until it stalls. Replaced fuel filter, fuel pump, seams like it is starving for fuel, but I have checked all the lines. Air filter is also good.
Quote from: Gina P on February 08, 2025, 05:04:35 PMAny gear heads, I need help.
Backhoe, diesel motor, runs for 5 minutes then slowly slows down until it stalls. Replaced fuel filter, fuel pump, seams like it is starving for fuel, but I have checked all the lines. Air filter is also good.
An Artificial intelligence reply suggests this:
A diesel motor that runs for five minutes and then slows down until it stalls could be experiencing fuel starvation. This can happen if the fuel filter is clogged or if the
lift pump is not functioning properly, preventing enough fuel from reaching the engine.
(A lift pump is a low-pressure pump designed to transport fuel from the fuel tank to the engine, ensuring a steady and clean fuel supply for diesel engines. It plays a crucial role in maintaining the engine's performance by providing a continuous flow of fuel to the high-pressure pump. In modern diesel vehicles, the lift pump is often a small electric motor-driven device controlled by an electronic control module, which helps regulate the fuel pressure and volume.)
Another potential issue could be air in the fuel system. If air is present, it can cause the fuel filter to not be full, leading to insufficient fuel pressure and ultimately causing the engine to stall.
To diagnose and potentially fix the issue, you should start by checking the fuel filter and replacing it if necessary. Additionally, inspect the lift pump to ensure it is functioning correctly. If the lift pump is mechanical, it might be worth considering an electric lift pump as a replacement, as mechanical lift pumps can sometimes underperform.
If the fuel system appears to be in good condition, you may want to inspect the fuel lines for any obstructions or leaks. Using an air compressor to blow air through the lines can help dislodge any debris that might be causing a blockage.
Regular maintenance, such as cleaning or replacing fuel filters and checking for fuel line obstructions, can help prevent these issues from occurring.
(End)
I hope your problem is figured out!
Chrissy
I would say its drawing air , as you changed the filter that is the first thing to look at. Had that happen on an old school Land Rover, O ring did not go in seat properly.
Quote from: ChrissyRyan on February 08, 2025, 05:17:45 PMI hope your problem is figured out!
Chrissy
Thanks Chrissy, Yea I tried all of that and replaced the fuel pump with a new one.
The
Quote from: davina61 on February 09, 2025, 03:38:52 AMI would say its drawing air , as you changed the filter that is the first thing to look at. Had that happen on an old school Land Rover, O ring did not go in seat properly.
The filter has an air bleeder on it which I have checked. Even cracked the fuel line by the injector pump to see if any air came out, all negative. I guess I will try blowing the lines out. They do run fuel out, but with enough force?
I had similar problem with my snowblower. It would run for a few minutes, then die!
It turned out to be the fuel cap! It had a little aluminum disk that broke off after twenty years of use. I bought a new gas cap and it now runs just fine. The aluminum disk allowed for venting air into the system. Diesel is similar and needs proper venting.
Quote from: ChrissyRyan on February 08, 2025, 07:24:37 AMGina,
That all sounds positive except for the expenses. Did you replace all the brakes on all four wheels? It is good that you can make the repairs.
Chrissy
Only did the fronts this time. I think its the 4th set on this truck.
Quote from: ChrissyRyan on February 08, 2025, 07:24:37 AMHow does a backhoe work with firewood? Does it carry it to your splitter? Or is there a splitter attached to the backhoe?
Chrissy.
When I drop a tree I use the hoe to lift the tree up. Makes cutting easier and I don't have to worry about cutting into the ground. Then use the loader to carry the wood back to the boiler. Large pieces can be rolled into the bucket rather than trying to pick them up. I also have a hitch welded on the bucket to pull the splitter with, of course I must drive backwards.
Spent a few days in Florida last week. My wife's sister got married. Drove down and back from NJ. It was so nice to leave the ice and snow for a few days. Mid 80s every day. Came home Sunday to 8 Monday morning. Spent the week playing catch up at the business and trying to get warm the rest of the time. It felt nice wearing shorts and summer dresses albeit if only for a few days. Was able to buy a new hat that I like. (my new avatar Pic).
Quote from: Gina P on February 22, 2025, 07:58:42 AMSpent a few days in Florida last week. My wife's sister got married. Drove down and back from NJ. It was so nice to leave the ice and snow for a few days. Mid 80s every day. Came home Sunday to 8 Monday morning. Spent the week playing catch up at the business and trying to get warm the rest of the time. It felt nice wearing shorts and summer dresses albeit if only for a few days. Was able to buy a new hat that I like. (my new avatar Pic).
Gina,
That sounds very nice.
Chrissy
I am digging the hat!
My prospecting hat is similar, but with a wider brim that lies parallel to the ground. It is just for sun protection, but yours is clearly fashionable. I love it!
Quote from: Gina P on February 22, 2025, 07:58:42 AMSpent a few days in Florida last week. My wife's sister got married. Drove down and back from NJ. It was so nice to leave the ice and snow for a few days. Mid 80s every day. Came home Sunday to 8 Monday morning. Spent the week playing catch up at the business and trying to get warm the rest of the time. It felt nice wearing shorts and summer dresses albeit if only for a few days. Was able to buy a new hat that I like. (my new avatar Pic).
You are looking good Gina! Neat hat!
Chrissy
Nice titfer my dear, good you had some relaxing time away.
Finally, I got the backhoe fixed. New fuel filter... didn't fix it. New fuel pump... didn't fix it. Blew out the lines... Didn't fix it. Had a small drip on one of the lines, fixed that....didn't fix it.
Here is the kicker. The return line/check valve had an obstruction. Blew that out.. FIXED! Yay, woo hoo. finally.
Quote from: Gina P on February 22, 2025, 03:11:36 PMFinally, I got the backhoe fixed. New fuel filter... didn't fix it. New fuel pump... didn't fix it. Blew out the lines... Didn't fix it. Had a small drip on one of the lines, fixed that....didn't fix it.
Here is the kicker. The return line/check valve had an obstruction. Blew that out.. FIXED! Yay, woo hoo. finally.
Gina,
I am glad you got that fixed.
Chrissy
At last, pesky thing !! I got the back brakes working on the hot rod with a new master cylinder at last.
Quote from: davina61 on February 23, 2025, 03:31:29 AMAt last, pesky thing !! I got the back brakes working on the hot rod with a new master cylinder at last.
Excellent!
Took a trip to West Virginia to look at some property. 3rd trip there to look at property. This one had nice land but the house needed a total rehab. To tell you the truth the thought of moving scares me to no end. I have lived my whole life within 30miles. To move excites me and terrifies me at the same time. To live here I deal with my demons and reminders of an abusive childhood. I have security here with a decent income from my business. To move, I would retire and have to live on savings. The area I live in is trans friendly, mostly. West Virginia, who knows?
Then the universe is telling you to stay put!
Quote from: Gina P on February 28, 2025, 08:19:01 AMWest Virginia, who knows?
Why there, then?
I know the feeling of excitement and dread of moving. In the military, I had no choice of where I would live. But now, I choose carefully. Before moving to South Dakota, I did a lot of research on unemployment, crime, cost of living, etc. That gave me my top three choices, and I moved to South Dakota.
Now, the political climate has changed, and so have my priorities. Now, I look at the cost of living, crime rate, trans friendliness and protection laws, and available medical care. My first thought was Minnesota because it is the nearest and easy to get to. My income has changed recently, so now I can afford to move farthe to find a better situation. I am tired of the sub-zero winters of the Midwest. I am now focused on southern Colorado.
I was just wondering that if you could move anywhere, why move somewhere that could be hostile or even dangerous?
Quote from: Gina P on February 28, 2025, 08:19:01 AMTook a trip to West Virginia to look at some property. 3rd trip there to look at property. This one had nice land but the house needed a total rehab. To tell you the truth the thought of moving scares me to no end. I have lived my whole life within 30miles. To move excites me and terrifies me at the same time. To live here I deal with my demons and reminders of an abusive childhood. I have security here with a decent income from my business. To move, I would retire and have to live on savings. The area I live in is trans friendly, mostly. West Virginia, who knows?
It seems, based on what you said, that it is better financially and for your safety to stay where you are at.
West Virginia has some of the lowest taxes in the country. Places we looked at were between $500-1000 per year. Here in NJ i'm paying around $8k. Most of the properties have free natural gas. Two big plus's. Winters are mild and have 4 seasons. I hate living where I do. I feel like Jenny in the Forest Gump movie, where she starts throwing rocks at here childhood home. I am reminded of a turbulent past everyday I live here.
Quote from: ChrissyRyan on February 28, 2025, 09:28:20 AMIt seems, based on what you said, that it is better financially and for your safety to stay where you are at.
Gina,
I wish you well in making a decision that will be good for both of you for the foreseeable future.
Chrissy
We offered them a low ball price and felt if they except it would be worth doing it. We were 75k below their asking price, which had just been lowered 25k. Dam if they didn't except it! So it looks like this is going to happen. I bubbled with excitement all weekend and could hardly sleep. Now starts the daunting task of getting 2 properties cleaned up.
Hope it all works out my dear XX
Gina,
I hope everything falls into place nicely.
Chrissy
Congrats!
That is a good deal and exciting news!
Starting the day with a migraine. I haven't been sleeping good all week thinking of the new property, retiring, selling the business, selling my existing home..... Lack of sleep is my biggest migraine trigger. Took my meds and laid down for an hour. Feeling better already.
Pesky backhoe is down again. Employee had it stall then tried to start it and cooked the starter. Waiting for a new one to arrive now. Replaced a radiator in one of the work trucks. Had to get 4 tires and an alignment on my wife's car, just shy of $1k. I changed the oil before taking it to the shop. At least I saved a few bucks there. Getting my lawn mower ready for the season. Exhaust gaskets were bad so I replaced them. Been a week of playing mechanic.
Started cleaning out the basement, first real thing of preparing the house for sale.
Went on a trail ride with the horses last Sunday. 5 miles. Planning on going out tomorrow for another ride. Weather is getting a little nicer and its great to be out ridding again.
My hip is now back to 100%. No pain. I'm glad I had it fixed.
You definitely have a lot going on, which can increase your stress levels. I'm glad the hip is 100% so you can ride again. Maybe do the riding in the evening to help you unwind before bed and see if that helps you sleep, if that is possible. Just make sure to take some time to relax.
I am glad that your hips are doing well.
Chrissy
Good news on the hip, well at least you got stuff fixed. I wonder what lost goodies you will find clearing out?
Moving gives us the opportunity to get rid of a lot of stuff we might not ever use again.
Someone else might be able to use that stuff though.
I won a scholarship from my trans group to go to Keystone trans conference in Harrisburg, PA next week. I am super excited as I had determined I would not be able to go this year.
@Gina PDear Gina:This is very exciting news... Congratulations !!!
Please be certain to post your updates regarding what is going on at the conference.
Again, very exciting for sure.HUGS, Danielle [Northern Star Girl]
Quote from: Gina P on March 12, 2025, 03:58:04 PMI won a scholarship from my trans group to go to Keystone trans conference in Harrisburg, PA next week. I am super excited as I had determined I would not be able to go this year.
Quote from: Gina P on March 12, 2025, 03:58:04 PMI won a scholarship from my trans group to go to Keystone trans conference in Harrisburg, PA next week. I am super excited as I had determined I would not be able to go this year.
Great!
Chrissy
As I continue to get my house/property ready for sale, I can't find one of the property corners. I tried measuring with a tape measure but failed. I know where the other corners are but can't seam to locate the last one. Yesterday I tried using a hunting range finder to triangulate the location and believe I'm close. Metal detector in hand, I found an old pocket knife, a screwdriver, and a rare 1940 mercury dime with the reverse side upside down. This is not even close to anything so it was a surprise to find a coin. I will keep looking for the corner marker...
Back to the move. Closing should be this week on the new property. I am super excited to be leaving NJ even if it will be months away. I also had someone call me out of the blue, about the prospect of buying my business. I am a little nervous about all the scams going around, so I will hear him out with trepidation.
The backhoe is still down. I ordered a starter on Amazon and they lost it! I ordered another one and waiting for it to arrive. I sold some old beams I was storing to a fellow. He noticed some walnut trees and offered me $1k for two of them, but we need the backhoe to load them. Couldn't come at a better time as I just received a bill for over $3k for medical therapies for my hip and pelvic floor. Time to dilate, again..... Less than a month to dropping to 2 times a day. Yaa
You can pay for a survey and have them put in ground concrete survey markers at the boundary points. You could do that for both properties. Be aware of where any easements are, so you do not to put in new trees or attempt to build in those areas.
I managed to find a piece of rebar that I believe is/was the property corner laying under the leaves. It was out of the ground so I decided to not worry about since I have the last survey in hand, I will leave it up to the new owners to worry about.
Finally fixed that troublesome backhoe. New starter arrived, of course battery was dead. Found check valve on return line still partially clogged. Removed it with a drill and it runs fine now.
Closing on new property is set for Monday. I can't believe this is really going to happen. I am so excited and scared at the same time. I'm going to tow my camper there on Sunday so that when I start renovations I have a place to sleep.
Going to Keystone tomorrow and Saturday. Busy times.
I'm so excited I can hardly sleep.
Quote from: Gina P on March 20, 2025, 05:48:41 AMI managed to find a piece of rebar that I believe is/was the property corner laying under the leaves. It was out of the ground so I decided to not worry about since I have the last survey in hand, I will leave it up to the new owners to worry about.
Finally fixed that troublesome backhoe. New starter arrived, of course battery was dead. Found check valve on return line still partially clogged. Removed it with a drill and it runs fine now.
Closing on new property is set for Monday. I can't believe this is really going to happen. I am so excited and scared at the same time. I'm going to tow my camper there on Sunday so that when I start renovations I have a place to sleep.
Going to Keystone tomorrow and Saturday. Busy times.
I'm so excited I can hardly sleep.
Sounds like a lot is coming up for you! Have a good time at the conference.
Chrissy
2 days at Keystone conference was an amazing experience. Hundreds of trans and trans friends all with something uplifting to say to each other. I swear the trans community is the kindest, most loving group I have ever been a part of. I went to talks/demonstrations on makeup, hair styling, dealing with anxiety, voice procedures, etc. If it pertains to trans people they probably have a workshop for it. The Gala was without a doubt the best party ever. Everyone dressed up in their finest gowns and dresses. When the band started playing almost everyone was on the dance floor, such an incredible site. I had brought a nice long dress to wear but after a walk through the clothing exchange, I found a beautiful blue gown with a slit up to the hip that fit perfectly. Looked so sexy! Even my wife said, "blue is defiantly your color". I had so many comments on my find. I'll post a pic when I find the time. Today its off to West Virginia for a closing on Monday morning, for the new property. Gotta go, These horses need a bigger home!
Quote from: Gina P on March 23, 2025, 06:42:57 AM2 days at Keystone conference was an amazing experience. Hundreds of trans and trans friends all with something uplifting to say to each other. I swear the trans community is the kindest, most loving group I have ever been a part of. I went to talks/demonstrations on makeup, hair styling, dealing with anxiety, voice procedures, etc. If it pertains to trans people they probably have a workshop for it. The Gala was without a doubt the best party ever. Everyone dressed up in their finest gowns and dresses. When the band started playing almost everyone was on the dance floor, such an incredible site. I had brought a nice long dress to wear but after a walk through the clothing exchange, I found a beautiful blue gown with a slit up to the hip that fit perfectly. Looked so sexy! Even my wife said, "blue is defiantly your color". I had so many comments on my find. I'll post a pic when I find the time. Today its off to West Virginia for a closing on Monday morning, for the new property. Gotta go, These horses need a bigger home!
Gina,
I am so happy for you!
Chrissy
Avatar pic is of that blue gown I spoke of in the last post. We had the closing on Monday. I am now the owner of a 114 acre farm in West Virginia. I was still high from Keystone and now this, I don't know if I will ever come back to earth. In true WV. fashion the description of the property is follow a line from the 24" Walnut tree to the 18" hickory tree to the 12" buckeye tree to the oak crag.... You get the picture. I bought this land but don't even know where all the boundaries are. Crazy, right? Anyway, lots to do so I may not be posting as often.
Congratulations!
I love the gown, and 114 acres would certainly solve some of my issues with neighbors. The horses will love it, too.
It was nice meeting you at Keystone and seeing you in person in your stunning outfit! Like you I am also still on a high from the conference.
Congratulations on buying your new property in WV! I just wonder what happens if any of the trees mentioned in your deed gets blown over by a storm? Would you have to file for an amended deed?
Hugs,
Heidemarie
Well done dear and the dress is lovely.
Post when you can, work on your priorities.
It is always nice to hear from you Gina.
Chrissy
It certainly must be a challenge handling both properties, your business, horses, and more.
I hope everything goes super smooth.
Chrissy
Thrusters failed and I came crashing back to earth. Working hard and wearing man clothes all the time has had a profound effect on my emotions. From depression to questioning if I made the right decision. Progress has been slow getting my property ready for sale as work has kept me busy most of the time. I had a timber buyer that had wanted to buy some trees back out of the deal. Then a potential buyer for the business decided the time was not right for him and needed at least 6 months. Had a couple interested in buying my house come by last night and seamed less than enthused about it. Most of this stuff is way to soon anyway but still depressing. I had thought I would be doing a lot of work in the evenings but just can't find the energy to do it. I have been busy clearing a path for a fence around my horse pasture. The relator said a proper fence would help sell is as a horse farm. We have been using a strand of electric. Anyway I had made a huge pile of brush which I decided to burn last Sunday. Flames 40 feet in the air, a beautiful fire until the fire company showed up with the state fire marshal and state police. The gave me the usual lecture and threatened me with a fine if I ever do it again. They put out the fire and now I'm stuck with a bunch of blackened branches to get rid of. Such is life for Gina. Could be worse, I could be stuck as a man!
Gina,
That sounds like a lot of disappointments to hit all at once.
Can you build a smaller fire?
A fence can be good. Sounds costly.
Interest rates are falling. That may good for home buying and refinancing.
If the economy falters though many people will take a more conservative approach for purchases, including a purchase of a businesses. There are always risks.
Wishing you well Gina.
Chrissy
I purchased a post pounder to help with the fencing. Decided to use cut off telephone poles for the corners and found that my girl muscles won't lift them into position. I'll have to scrap that idea and just use the standard 6" ones.
I sold my weight sets and lifting benches. I have not used them in many years and don't plan to ever again. Sold a couple of old hay wagons. Trying to get rid of some of this stuff not needed anymore.
Cleaned out the basement, what a mess! I have been a hoarder of sorts, I guess I don't need tax papers from 1983 anymore.
Did some brush hogging around the perimeter of the property to make it look bigger. Soon I will have to work on the driveway.
I hope all your tidying up goes smoothly.
Chrissy
I tried something new. I was doing, some research on woman's hormone cycles and tried to copy it by altering mine to match. Last week I was in a foul mood. All I can attribute it to is PMS which sucks. I, think I will try one more month of this just to be sure but if I go through another bout of that bad mood I will have to stop the experiment.
Went trail ridding yesterday for a few miles. My horse was full of it and wanted to go, even bucked at one point. Horses are very sensitive and pick up on the slightest cue from the rider. I had been wanting to get home and back to work so i guess he picked up on that. Work continues on prepping the property for sale. My business is busy so I have to work a lot there leaving little time for the other stuff.
Somehow you will squeeze everything in Gina.
I hope you will have low stress and happy days ahead.
Chrissy
I had a meeting with another business owner, that might want to purchase my door business. I hope things work out. It would be nice to be able to dedicate myself fulltime to preparing to move.
Managed to go for a 7 mile ride on Dundee(my horse) Sunday. I need some sanity time!
Down to twice a day dilating now. It feel funny not taking that break in the middle of the day. It's become so much a habit at this point.
My battery charger had an interesting problem, the cord melted down. I tried replacing the cord and it worked fine. A few days latter the new cord melted. That's when I realized every time I plugged it into a 3 way this happened. Bad 3 way. 3rd cord and it works fine now.
Finished installing my fence posts. Now the fencing.
Still selling old junk. Had a wheel barrow that was my grandfathers not much good except for decoration. Sold that for a few bucks.
Quote from: Gina P on April 28, 2025, 05:44:57 AMI had a meeting with another business owner, that might want to purchase my door business. I hope things work out. It would be nice to be able to dedicate myself fulltime to preparing to move.
Managed to go for a 7 mile ride on Dundee(my horse) Sunday. I need some sanity time!
Down to twice a day dilating now. It feel funny not taking that break in the middle of the day. It's become so much a habit at this point.
My battery charger had an interesting problem, the cord melted down. I tried replacing the cord and it worked fine. A few days latter the new cord melted. That's when I realized every time I plugged it into a 3 way this happened. Bad 3 way. 3rd cord and it works fine now.
Finished installing my fence posts. Now the fencing.
Still selling old junk. Had a wheel barrow that was my grandfathers not much good except for decoration. Sold that for a few bucks.
Lots of people seem to use things for decoration rather than their original purpose.
I have seen old bicycles on display in yards, as an example.
Chrissy
Quote from: ChrissyRyan on April 28, 2025, 06:56:56 AMLots of people seem to use things for decoration rather than their original purpose.
I have seen old bicycles on display in yards, as an example.
Chrissy
My uncle in Colorado does small engine repair. He has lawn mowers in his yard for sale (because he didn't get paid for the repairs). The city came by and cited him for operating a business in a residential area. But he is permitted to sell his own creations, like art. So he changed the sign in his yard. It no longer says "Small Engine Repairs". Now it says "Yard Art". ;D
Then, as the final middle finger, he changed his business cards to read "_____'s Small Engine Repair and Yard Art."
So the business is sold! Soon to be retired. About a month till the final job. I'm looking forward to it but also scared of not having a job. I started working when I was 14 and have never stopped.
Cleaned up my boat and posted it for sale yesterday. It hasn't even been in the water for 2 years! Doc also said I cant wakeboard or water ski with my new hip. That made the decision to sell it a little easier.
Do you have a workshop at the new place, find something to restore ,recycle or repurpose . Nothing to complicated or hard just stuff to keep you hands and brain active.
@Gina P
Dear Gina:This is an exciting time for you as you experience changes in your housing and in your life situation.
I will be eagerly looking forward to reading your updates as you feel comfortable sharing.
HUGS, and my best wishes to you...
Danielle [Northern Star Girl]
Quote from: Gina P on May 03, 2025, 07:15:09 AMSo the business is sold! Soon to be retired. About a month till the final job. I'm looking forward to it but also scared of not having a job. I started working when I was 14 and have never stopped.
Cleaned up my boat and posted it for sale yesterday. It hasn't even been in the water for 2 years! Doc also said I cant wakeboard or water ski with my new hip. That made the decision to sell it a little easier.
Quote from: Gina P on May 03, 2025, 07:15:09 AMSo the business is sold! Soon to be retired. About a month till the final job. I'm looking forward to it but also scared of not having a job. I started working when I was 14 and have never stopped.
Cleaned up my boat and posted it for sale yesterday. It hasn't even been in the water for 2 years! Doc also said I cant wakeboard or water ski with my new hip. That made the decision to sell it a little easier.
Thant sounds like really good news.
Chrissy
The new place has a shop and I am looking forward to using it. With free natural gas I can heat it and may be have a forge and play with some metal. Also has 220v electric for my welder and plenty of current to run anything else. There is plenty to do there.
Now I have to push to get our place on the market for sale.
Did take time out for a trail ride yesterday. Horses were well behaved and even though it was a difficult trail they did well.
Quote from: Gina P on May 04, 2025, 07:02:37 AMThe new place has a shop and I am looking forward to using it. With free natural gas I can heat it and may be have a forge and play with some metal. Also has 220v electric for my welder and plenty of current to run anything else. There is plenty to do there.
Now I have to push to get our place on the market for sale.
Did take time out for a trail ride yesterday. Horses were well behaved and even though it was a difficult trail they did well.
I am glad you got to take some time off for a ride.
Chrissy
I had to do a little work under one of the trucks yesterday, so I tied my back then clipped it up and put on a cap. I showed my wife and said, "all I have to do is add the mustache and Greg is back". Here response was, "I don't think so!, the shape of your face is different now." Of course she was right and I see it but it felt good hearing her say it.
Quote from: Gina P on May 05, 2025, 05:42:00 AMI had to do a little work under one of the trucks yesterday, so I tied my back then clipped it up and put on a cap. I showed my wife and said, "all I have to do is add the mustache and Greg is back". Here response was, "I don't think so!, the shape of your face is different now." Of course she was right and I see it but it felt good hearing her say it.
A nice affirmation that is for you Gina!
Chrissy