I have to wear a dress for prom and while it's a beautiful dress, it just makes me feel so dysphoric in it. My chest is exposed and the slit makes my legs feel so feminine. I tried it on bc my mom wanted to make sure it fits and as I looked in the mirror all I saw was something I'm not. I felt like all the soul-searching I did to figure out who I was didn't mean anything because at the end of the day I'm female to everyone around me. Even just writing about it and reliving it makes me feel dysphoric. I just need some help on how to feel like myself even just a little bit on prom night.
That is a dilemma. Forget about the dress and focus on what you can do. Don't wear makeup or jewelry. If your hair is long enough, pull it back into a ponytail or bun. Many members have said they get by through "underdressing" or wearing something underneath that suits them. You could wear a pair of boxers or boy briefs under the dress.
The key is to remember that they don't know your secret. They think you are a girl, but you fooled them. You are just another guy in a dress! It will be hard when they are treating you like a girl. Just smile because you know the truth. Do try to have fun with it. :)
My mom's forcing me to wear heels and jewelry and have my hair and makeup done for the event as well. But I'll try your advice
Well it's prom night. I am wearing a dress and getting my hair and makeup done. I already got my nails done. I feel an odd calm. It's kinda funny to me that imma be a guy in a dress. I'll just enjoy myself and internally laugh that my guy friend is gonna be drooling over a dude in a dress
Quote from: Adrian26 on April 26, 2025, 10:13:42 AMWell it's prom night. I am wearing a dress and getting my hair and makeup done. I already got my nails done. I feel an odd calm. It's kinda funny to me that imma be a guy in a dress. I'll just enjoy myself and internally laugh that my guy friend is gonna be drooling over a dude in a dress
That's the spirit! Have fun with it. I never went to prom, so enjoy yourself.
Quote from: Lori Dee on April 26, 2025, 12:57:23 PMThat's the spirit! Have fun with it. I never went to prom, so enjoy yourself.
I will! Update on how it goes
Have a fun time.
Chrissy
Omg, last night was awesome. I danced a lot and my date was really chill. Only not great part was that my ex was trying to hit on me the whole time and I kept internally howling with laughter at him, but other than that I had a super fun night.
Quote from: Adrian26 on April 27, 2025, 08:26:20 AMOmg, last night was awesome. I danced a lot and my date was really chill. Only not great part was that my ex was trying to hit on me the whole time and I kept internally howling with laughter at him, but other than that I had a super fun night.
That sounds like you enjoyed your prom. Good for you!
Chrissy
Quote from: Adrian26 on April 27, 2025, 08:26:20 AMOmg, last night was awesome. I danced a lot and my date was really chill. Only not great part was that my ex was trying to hit on me the whole time and I kept internally howling with laughter at him, but other than that I had a super fun night.
I am glad you had a good time. 😊 It is good to enjoy the moment knowing that you are being yourself inside. Even if no-one else knows. I'm glad you had an opportunity to do this and give yourself the opportunity to be able to get through this with out falling apart.🤗
Quote from: Annaliese on April 27, 2025, 08:38:21 AMI am glad you had a good time. 😊 It is good to enjoy the moment knowing that you are being yourself inside. Even if no-one else knows. I'm glad you had an opportunity to do this and give yourself the opportunity to be able to get through this with out falling apart.🤗
Yeah, it was a really great night
That is wonderful, Adrian! I am glad you had a good time.
Remember how worried you were? Look at how strong you are! You did it and the world did not end.
I'm so proud of you.
Hugs!
Quote from: Lori Dee on April 27, 2025, 11:36:34 AMThat is wonderful, Adrian! I am glad you had a good time.
Remember how worried you were? Look at how strong you are! You did it and the world did not end.
I'm so proud of you.
Hugs!
Haha I guess you're right. Thanks!! I feel great, minus the feet pain
Quote from: Adrian26 on April 27, 2025, 11:45:56 AMHaha I guess you're right. Thanks!! I feel great, minus the feet pain
How are you doing Adrian. Hope you are doing well now that the pressure from the prom is gone. 🤗
Annaliese
Quote from: Annaliese on April 29, 2025, 10:18:05 AMHow are you doing Adrian. Hope you are doing well now that the pressure from the prom is gone. 🤗
Annaliese
Been better, but I'm still here and that's all I can ask for
Quote from: Adrian26 on April 29, 2025, 10:24:16 AMBeen better, but I'm still here and that's all I can ask for
I agree, just know we are here. 🫂 🤗
Annaliese
Quote from: Annaliese on April 29, 2025, 10:26:09 AMI agree, just know we are here. 🫂 🤗
Annaliese
Thanks
Just ditch the prom. I've never been to one and don't feel I've missed anything
Quote from: Tig58072 on April 29, 2025, 10:12:43 PMJust ditch the prom. I've never been to one and don't feel I've missed anything
Might do that next year or show up in jeans and a button up
Quote from: Adrian26 on April 03, 2025, 01:11:58 PMI have to wear a dress for prom and while it's a beautiful dress, it just makes me feel so dysphoric in it. My chest is exposed and the slit makes my legs feel so feminine. I tried it on bc my mom wanted to make sure it fits and as I looked in the mirror all I saw was something I'm not. I felt like all the soul-searching I did to figure out who I was didn't mean anything because at the end of the day I'm female to everyone around me. Even just writing about it and reliving it makes me feel dysphoric. I just need some help on how to feel like myself even just a little bit on prom night.
The way I always dealt with stuff like that, Adrian, is to visualise yourself as an actor. Playing a role. Pantomime is common in the UK. It's a very weird thing, probably going back to Shakespeare. Or Greek plays. But they both had men playing women, and women playing men. The better you do it, the better a performer you are. But it doesn't make you, you. At the end of the day, you get to take off the dress, or the suit, and relax in what makes you comfy.
Sometimes you just have to see yourself that way. Because it's a performance for people who want that.
💡 I have an idea..🙂 Pack the clothes you want to wear in a backpack and change after you leave the house.
Quote from: Sephirah on May 01, 2025, 07:34:41 PMSometimes you just have to see yourself that way. Because it's a performance for people who want that.
This is reality for all of us that function in a society. Both Cis and Trans. We are all just people. We all play roles. Some of us get militant about it, but in the end, "you be be you" and gently employ passive skills that lead to your desired end. Its the drastic changes folks can't handle so well. In the end we all have to coexist. We have learned to choose the direction to take ourselves.
An expression from the past. If the natives "...paint their noses blue, then paint your nose blue." Only if you want to survive. Until such time as you are independently wealthy and can afford to pick and choose where you are in society, play the role.
Allow me a bit more space to comment? I'm not advocating remaining closeted, just that our personal power position dictates how demonstrative we can be in our own situations.
You'll remark that about 14% of the trans community are over 50, some say 65. Whatever. For those of us that are living that reality, most of us are "in power" over our own lives. You youngsters have the idea of your own struggles but are unlikely to understand what senior trans folks have lived through and vice versa.
Be sweet and kind to your authority figures. Let them rant, but quietly express and display. No one said it would be easy.
Having trouble leaving this one alone. I came across this from an article on the Gender GP site:
'The struggles faced by younger people are entirely different to those faced by those who transition later in life. The hurdles they have to jump through to prove that they are of sound mind, the barriers which are put in place to delay access to treatment 'just in case', do not affect me. As a grown-up, I am free to choose my own path, it is generally accepted that I know my own mind and that if I say I am trans, then I am. So does that mean we have an easier ride?
Transitioning in older age is far from easy; from the baggage that comes with life already half-lived, to navigating existing relationships. Sadly, I see too many relationships fail when a long-term partner comes out as trans. I am lucky, I am married to a woman who sees me for who I am deep down and not my outward appearance. Despite my happy situation, I am in the minority."
Could've been written by myself. I wish I was able to...
Maybe this will help you, Adrian 26? We can only say why we continue to transition. For us it's simple; we have no choice. It's not to improve lifestyle, to try something new or even just to try it on for size.
I am and always have been me, D'Amalie Richelle, a person in an image. It's just that now you can actually meet me in person – I just wish you could have done so a long time ago. You are dealing with the here and now. I'm glad we can meet you now! Live for the now with hope for a brilliant tomorrow!
Quote from: D'Amalie on May 02, 2025, 08:55:06 AMHaving trouble leaving this one alone. I came across this from an article on the Gender GP site:
'The struggles faced by younger people are entirely different to those faced by those who transition later in life. The hurdles they have to jump through to prove that they are of sound mind, the barriers which are put in place to delay access to treatment 'just in case', do not affect me. As a grown-up, I am free to choose my own path, it is generally accepted that I know my own mind and that if I say I am trans, then I am. So does that mean we have an easier ride?
Transitioning in older age is far from easy; from the baggage that comes with life already half-lived, to navigating existing relationships. Sadly, I see too many relationships fail when a long-term partner comes out as trans. I am lucky, I am married to a woman who sees me for who I am deep down and not my outward appearance. Despite my happy situation, I am in the minority."
Could've been written by myself. I wish I was able to...
No matter what age of generation you come from, being trans is damn tough. Be proud that you figured out who you truly are before you were in the ground. Seldom do. If it's any encouragement, I am proud of you. You figured out who you are and what you want. You're just doing the best you can with your situation
Quote from: D'Amalie on May 02, 2025, 09:15:19 AMMaybe this will help you, Adrian 26? We can only say why we continue to transition. For us it's simple; we have no choice. It's not to improve lifestyle, to try something new or even just to try it on for size.
I am and always have been me, D'Amalie Richelle, a person in an image. It's just that now you can actually meet me in person – I just wish you could have done so a long time ago. You are dealing with the here and now. I'm glad we can meet you now! Live for the now with hope for a brilliant tomorrow!
That's the spirit! Just keep your head held high and if you're going through hell keep on moving