I have been on hrt now for about 18 months and ever since coming out to my wife, in 2001, I have reassured her that my sexual orientation is that I am attracted to women. But I have been noticing some of the good looking guys around work. I was wondering if this is normal, everything I have read states that one's sexual orientation doesn't change due to hrt. Now don't get me wrong, a beautiful walks by I still take notice but like I said if a handsome guy come by I take notice also. How many of you out there have had the same experience?
it does happen- HRT can affect such changes- sometimes after SRS many become straight..
Your brain is rewiring itself and the pheremones also have some effect
For some, yes, it does, or they go back and forth for a while. Of course, it can be confusing to be attracted to women your whole life and then you start noticing a few cute guys.
It has happened to me, even though the majority of the time I like women. And believe me, it can get pretty confusing at times.
And like Tanya mentioned, your brain undergoes changes along with the rest of your body, etc. I find that it's very common from the people I've talked to.
--natalie
Well, I've heard that it works that way sometimes for mtfs... myself, yeah. Prior to testosterone my attraction was about 95% toward women, 5% toward men. Now it's about 50-50. It's strange... but I figure it all comes with the territory. And no, I don't think it's just that my sex drive was upped significantly and I'm now "omnisexual" or something. Part of it may be that as a "female," I couldn't conceive of being with men, but as a man, I can. I never wanted to be a straight woman or a lesbian, and had serious problems with being thought of as either, but I've always had a certain fascination with gay men... but I digress. I'm married. It's irrelevant. But yeah, I'd say orientation can easily change, with or without extra hormones in the mix.
Sebastien Dean
Well, I'm not on HRT. But once I am and look like a man, I'm going to be very uncomfortable with the notion of 'being a man who likes other men'. I'm bi, always was, always will be, but will likely just end up with women.
Does sexual orientation change?
With some people it does....others it doesn't. I'm still attracted to women but some men are attractive but on the whole I find men physically quite unattractive....
Quote from: ErickaM on January 30, 2008, 05:36:01 PM
How many of you out there have had the same experience?
:icon_wave-nerd: Me!
I'm not even on HRT, but just admitting to myself what's going on inside my head has had this effect. There are many sexual orientations, though, and while some of them do not depend on your own sex some of them do. My current hypothesis is that I'm mostly heterosexual, with some attraction to women thrown in. The idea of male homosexuality doesn't do anything for me either way, and while the female variant has some appeal it's clearly not my first choice. I'm still more likely to look at a woman, but that's partly because of the envy factor, not just the attraction.
Sexual orientation is in fact one of the main reasons why I'm reluctant to start HRT (let alone do anything more than market research regarding SRS options). I want to not just be attractive to the woman I love but also to be attracted to her, and for both these purposes my wrongly-sexed body is better than the correct one would be. Most of my fantasies involve the two of us sexed the other way, but that's the kind of weird I am.
Nfr
I was asexual, uninterested in anyone. HRT made me interested in men mostly, possibly women (just less so).
I remember being shocked by my reaction at seeing a young "yard boy" walk down the street stripped to the waist. "Mmmmm. Very nice." I slapped myself and thought, "Robyn, what are you doing?" That was after 6 months on hormones.
So what did God give me but an FTM husband - who hadn't been a lesbian. Sigh.
Robyn the elder
Nonpracticing bisexual, serial monogamist
In my case deep down I have always been attracted to men. I was in denial for the longest time and during high school had a girlfriend. It was more to try to convince myself that "OMG I am not gay, what is wrong with me". A thought that had been implanted from my upbringing. As I came to accept my transgender nature a few years later, I realized that it was ok to feel the way I feel. So I basically stopped fooling myself that I was "a straight guy" and realized that I am a straight female.
Audrey
Quote from: Audrey on January 31, 2008, 12:34:09 PM
In my case deep down I have always been attracted to men. I was in denial for the longest time and during high school had a girlfriend. It was more to try to convince myself that "OMG I am not gay, what is wrong with me". A thought that had been implanted from my upbringing. As I came to accept my transgender nature a few years later, I realized that it was ok to feel the way I feel. So I basically stopped fooling myself that I was "a straight guy" and realized that I am a straight female.
Audrey
Audrey, is that you in your avatar? cause um... WOW
Don't tell the gay community sexual orientation is open to change, and especially don't tell the trans/homophobic community. I personally think it's one reaon why some in the gay community don't like transpeople, namely m2f's, because many do change their orientation from gay as males to straight as women. They don't get the attraction is the same, the thinking and expression changes. And the trans/homophobic would jump on this for a "cure" not realizing they're part of the mix too. My personal belief is that we're all born bi-sexual, and only express a general preference because of our individual nature/nuture circumstances, and it varies with time, place, circumstances and situation over our life. And one's susceptibility to changes is generally nature (genes), why some feel exclusively attracted to one sex, some don't and some vary. But it's not always just sexual attraction, but also about interpersonal attraction for the whole range of factors. People like to limit it to sex because they think it separates things and people, when it doesn't. Why else are them sex/gender specific clubs, groups, etc. if for everything but sex, but includes companisonship, friendship, character, etc.? So why is just sex considered differently by recent cultures? It wasn't in the past, sex was just that, and without any overtones of morality.
Quote from: Nero on January 31, 2008, 12:52:51 PM
Quote from: Audrey on January 31, 2008, 12:34:09 PM
In my case deep down I have always been attracted to men. I was in denial for the longest time and during high school had a girlfriend. It was more to try to convince myself that "OMG I am not gay, what is wrong with me". A thought that had been implanted from my upbringing. As I came to accept my transgender nature a few years later, I realized that it was ok to feel the way I feel. So I basically stopped fooling myself that I was "a straight guy" and realized that I am a straight female.
Audrey
Audrey, is that you in your avatar? cause um... WOW
Last time I checked. ;D ;)
Thanks
Audrey
This is actually a funny question as I'm beginning to see changes in my sexual orientation as well. I never used to be really attracted to females or males really, you would have called me a "Non-Sexual" back then but recently I've been noticing cute guys. So there has definitely been a shift in the force (if ya know what I mean :icon_giggle: .) I really find it enjoyable though. What's really fun is when I'm like out with my mom or somethin' and we see a cute guy, say in starbucks, and we'll both look at each other with this look on our faces like "Oooooo he's cute" and then we get a good laugh 'cause we were thinking the same thing.
My advice is don't worry, the changes are natural and will take place like it or not. Not to mention you still do love your wife right? Then nothing will ever change between you two and sexual orientation can never change that. (Unless you want to be with a guy then it can get complicated.) ;)
So my answer is yes HRT can definitely change your sexual orientation. ;)
I was talking to my electoligist the other day and she had said some thing about me being attracted to boys. Now I told here, "you know that I'm married (been married for 18 years) and I am only into girls." And that is when she said give the homones a little longer to work and that will all change. That is what got me to thinking and I have been attrative to a few guys. I still say that I don't want to have sex with a guy, but I am thinking that a few are rather cute. But who knows in a few months I maybe sing a different song.
Posted on: January 31, 2008, 03:52:05 PM
Quote from: Krista on January 31, 2008, 03:44:13 PM
you still do love your wife right?
Yes, I still love here very much and I have reassured her of the same thing, but she has a fear that as I continue to transistion that I would want to have a relationship with a guy.
Quote from: ErickaM on January 31, 2008, 03:56:57 PM
Yes, I still love here very much and I have reassured her of the same thing, but she has a fear that as I continue to transistion that I would want to have a relationship with a guy.
I trust you both still remember that there is a difference between attraction, love, and committment to a marriage. Yes, noticing boys may be an interesting experience, in a teenage-girl way, but you don't
have to act on that attraction. After all, your wife has been attracted to boys all through your marriage -- do you imagine you are the only sexy one around? ;)
As long as you still find each other compatible attraction-wise, you should be all right. Hopefully that's the case.
Nfr
Sexually nothing turns me on.
Probably. If you do some research on this very website, you will read some posts from some members whose sexual orientation has apparently shifted. Personally, I don't think it is possible. My view is that sexual orientation is innate and unchangeable, but of course that is just my opinion, not Tink's law of any sort. I like men too much to even consider being intimate with a girl. That is just a huge no-no on my book, and needless to say, that isn't happening anytime soon!, I mean "NEVER" :P
tink :icon_chick:
Quote from: ErickaM on January 31, 2008, 03:56:57 PM
Yes, I still love here very much and I have reassured her of the same thing, but she has a fear that as I continue to transistion that I would want to have a relationship with a guy.
I wouldn't lie to you, you may want a relationship that is more on a romantic basis with a man but like Ashley put it "Would you act on the urge?"
Think of it this way, when you were a guy (even though you probably never ever felt that way) were you ever attracted to a female while you were married? Like sexually? It's the same thing! You were attracted to the female but because of the commitment you had made and the love you have for your wife you did not act on the urge. This would be the same situation, just with a male. ;)
Gosh, I don't wanna seem to be backing up a fellow mod, but in this case I must. Because I agree with her.
I do believe that some people are bi-sexual.
I won't say 'all' because I have no way of knowing, but I think the vast majority of people who 'change' attractions have probably always been attracted to that sex, just weren't able to allow that in themselves.
An opinion, no better than anyone else's.
Nichole
I haven't even tried HRT yet. I used to like girls primarily, but it was awkward. I've never been sexually attracted to men, but I'm curious If it will turn out that way. I almost seem asexual or turned on by myself at this point...
It confuses the hell out of me...
I do get nervous sometimes, because I have heard cases where sexual orientation changes "due" to HRT. Serra considers herself a lesbian trapped in a male body, and I've always been a lesbian...so being with (what the world considers) a "guy" is uncharted territory. Part of me is thinking, "arg, when she transitions, will she still be attracted to girls, or turn bi or straight or whatever"...it just makes me nervous :P
~Rachael
I always found some guys attractive even when I was married but the HRT really revved up that side of things. I go through periods of being absolutely boy crazy and love it when truckers give me the horn on the street.
I had sexual urges before hrt 99% of them was for women. After hrt I have those urges that drove me sexually are gone which is kind of freaking me out. Anyway I never was sexually active so what does it matter anyway. Most I feel is like this that person looks good then wonder if their nice that is as far as get now a days. So I'm unsure about my orientation and I knew what it was before. But I will never go for man on man sex even if I'm attractive to a man.(don't mean to offend that my personal feeling about myself) That will have to wait until I'm physical corrected.
Later,
Anna
A pity the "back door" wasn't adapted for such uses. Even if It was, I definitely don't feel any attraction towards men. I mean... I really am wondering if this will change given what I hear happens....
I mean. I've been quite turned on by the idea of penetration, but it usually in my head involves another girl and a strap on :laugh:
I was aware of wanting a man even before I consciously admitted to myself that I'm transsexual. In fact, it was desire for sex with men that woke me up to the fact I need to have a vagina and be a woman, because like Nero I could not see man-on-man sex for myself. I tried but just could not see it happening. This made me ponder I really should have been born with a vagina... oh yeah, that's probably connected with the thoughts I've had all my life I want to be a woman... duh. So I awoke to being trans as a result of wanting men for sex.
After that I still preferred women, and lesbian identification felt very attractive to me. I tried to align with lesbianism. I still have great fondness for lesbians. But once I was on HRT, I began to feel an even more intense sexual desire for men. That will not happen, however, until my SRS is completed. While waiting for SRS I live essentially asexual. But in terms of sexual orientation, I am clearly bi. I would still rather identify as lesbian, as a conscious choice... because to me women loving women seems like the ultimate good in life. But the fact is, I'm bi.
I think Nicole is right about people being potentially bisexual. So what is it that actualizes that potential? I think HRT. Before I started HRT, I desired men but could not see it happening. After HRT, when estrogen had worked its womanly mysteries on my body and mind, when men began to express sexual desire for me, I could see it happening. Now I like to be physically close to men although sex will have to wait until SRS. Now I feel sexual desire, not in my useless joke of a male appendage, but inside me... where my vagina will be, hopefully someday soon.
I would love to have a boyfriend someday. Part of my attraction to men is raw animal lust... but part of it is sociological, my chance to be seen as just a normal woman. This troubles me, because it would mean forsaking my lesbian sisters who I love so much.
My head tells me, Women are better, stick with them and the hell with men. My body urges me to get a man. As you can see, I'm still working through all this. Anyway, I'm not having sex with anyone now.
Quote from: Krista on January 31, 2008, 07:32:04 PM
Quote from: ErickaM on January 31, 2008, 03:56:57 PM
Yes, I still love here very much and I have reassured her of the same thing, but she has a fear that as I continue to transistion that I would want to have a relationship with a guy.
I wouldn't lie to you, you may want a relationship that is more on a romantic basis with a man but like Ashley put it "Would you act on the urge?"
Think of it this way, when you were a guy (even though you probably never ever felt that way) were you ever attracted to a female while you were married? Like sexually? It's the same thing! You were attracted to the female but because of the commitment you had made and the love you have for your wife you did not act on the urge. This would be the same situation, just with a male. ;)
To answer your question, Yes I have been attracted to other women since being married but I've never acted on that attraction. And I want ack on any attration to a guy as long as I am married. I was just wondering 'cuz I have begin to have these attractions.
There seems to be a definite link between non traditional sexuality
and transexuality (meaning, the endochrine and genetic
factors that impact on one seem to increase the probability of the other)
so it wouldn't be surprising if trans would indeed be hetero, bisexual and
homosexual in greater number than the general population. This
indeed seems to be the case.
Also, if we take sexuality as a continuum and how you express yourself
on this continuum depends on societal pressures. Explains why
there are much more people with "gay fantasies" than actual gays. My
best friend is het, but I know that if he had a safe occasion of having
sex with a man he would take it. There are actually much more bi's
than what we know of; its a very poorly studied subject.
I think sexuality is well defined but it is only in the extremes that its seen as immovable. This immovable, very defined fringe is much easier to see in gays (which have their own need to conform to their community
and suppress their het desires!) than in the rest of the population.
Say, there was 5% of the population who have never in their lives had het fantasies (100% gay) and 33% of the het population who never had gay fantasies (100% het) (made up number, I don't know the real number). Well, that would make a boatload of people in between that are open to a gay encounter!
How strongly their desire is and how it is expressed depends on their personal circumstances and societal pressures. In a highly repressive area with clearly defined gender and sexual roles, I'd be surprised there is much outward expression of any kind even from the 5% of gays (let alone the bi's)
I'd be surprised if TS expression, which as I said seems to depend on same
dna and endochrine influences as sexuality, would not place us outside the 100% het box and thus make more people susceptible to be closer to the tipping point in the middle between heterosexuality and homosexuality.
As I said, TS are certainly in this in between area.
Quote from: Hypatia on February 02, 2008, 08:17:52 AM
I was aware of wanting a man even before I consciously admitted to myself that I'm transsexual. In fact, it was desire for sex with men that woke me up to the fact I need to have a vagina and be a woman, because like Nero I could not see man-on-man sex for myself. I tried but just could not see it happening. This made me ponder I really should have been born with a vagina... oh yeah, that's probably connected with the thoughts I've had all my life I want to be a woman... duh. So I awoke to being trans as a result of wanting men for sex.
After that I still preferred women, and lesbian identification felt very attractive to me. I tried to align with lesbianism. I still have great fondness for lesbians. But once I was on HRT, I began to feel an even more intense sexual desire for men. That will not happen, however, until my SRS is completed. While waiting for SRS I live essentially asexual. But in terms of sexual orientation, I am clearly bi. I would still rather identify as lesbian, as a conscious choice... because to me women loving women seems like the ultimate good in life. But the fact is, I'm bi.
I think Nicole is right about people being potentially bisexual. So what is it that actualizes that potential? I think HRT. Before I started HRT, I desired men but could not see it happening. After HRT, when estrogen had worked its womanly mysteries on my body and mind, when men began to express sexual desire for me, I could see it happening. Now I like to be physically close to men although sex will have to wait until SRS. Now I feel sexual desire, not in my useless joke of a male appendage, but inside me... where my vagina will be, hopefully someday soon.
I would love to have a boyfriend someday. Part of my attraction to men is raw animal lust... but part of it is sociological, my chance to be seen as just a normal woman. This troubles me, because it would mean forsaking my lesbian sisters who I love so much.
My head tells me, Women are better, stick with them and the hell with men. My body urges me to get a man. As you can see, I'm still working through all this. Anyway, I'm not having sex with anyone now.
Hypatia sums it up. I also agree with Tink and Nichole that I don't believe sexual orientation changes just because one has had HRT and surgery. If it seems to, than just as Nichole said, that person's 'comfort' level with their true sexuality has changed.
If estrogen or testosterone changed sexual orientation there'd be no lesbians or gay men.
But, I do believe estrogen intensifies an already existing attraction to men. I love how Hypatia put it 'raw animal lust'.
If you've ever seen a cat in heat - she needs it, a tomcat that is, and she needs it right then and there.
Here's something I previously posted on the subject:
Estrogen woes: Cats in heatQuote from: Nero on December 09, 2007, 09:00:00 PM
That one week a month when...
all you think about is relief
you'd give anything to have a triple dozen tomcats howling at your door
your body's screaming 'fill me! fill me!'
you find yourself sitting on top of the washer during the spin cycle
that cucumber in the fridge takes on a whole new meaning
the detachable showerhead is your new best friend
the folks at the Lion's Den (or whatever your friendly neighbourhood toy shop is) have your favorites bagged and waiting on the counter
you change your boxers/panties 10x a day
you've got that unmistakeable glow across your cheeks
that filthy, balding, beer gutted guy across the street is looking pretty hot about now
It depends on your experiences and what is important to you in life. I never cared much to be touched and do not find humans desirable to be close to. I do like quiet and a warm bath. I guess that I am not an animal because I never felt the urge to have sex.
Ok, so I started to post and realize I went soooo far off topic, I just put the response in my Blog.
That's here: https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,26420.new.html#new (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,26420.new.html#new)
As far as orientation change, I wouldn't think it would change because of HRT. I was married twice to women and it's amazing what you can pull off sexually. I always had issues in that department anyway. I've never looked at women sexually. In the rare, rare event that I had some kind of sexual activity (including kissing and everything past that) I had an extremely vivid imagination to get me through it. I heard so many things from girlfriends prior to marriage and wives like "aren't you attracted to me", "what's wrong", "what about you having release?" etc, etc. After a while of this and my answers "of course I'm attracted to you, I'm just tired", "nothing, I'm ok", and "I don't need release. Just knowing that I made you feel good is enough for me."
Lol, I have no idea what they thought with those answers, but I used them. I could get through sexual stuff by imagining I was the girl and she was me. That's it. Nothing fancy. My mind is soooo elaborate when it comes to that kind of stuff :)
I describe a very early experience with a boy when I was 10 or 11. I knew I was a girl in my head when I was 5 or 6 so it was like when the crushes and sexual wanting came 5 or 6 years later, I was so, so, so confused. I remember feeling like I couldn't tell ANYONE because it wouldn't go over too well. Nothing like hanging out with girlfriends in 5th and 6th grade and getting giddy when they talked about some of the boys, then having them ask who I liked.
"Oh, um, no one, it's ok."
Once transition is complete, I'll explore that, I'm sure. I need to feel complete first. Body needs to match the mind. Anything less than that I just can't fathom. I know that the feelings I've had about men and women have been there since I was 10. I don't see HRT changing it, only helping me possibly get to the point where I can have a loving, caring relationship and actually be attracted physically to my partner :) Meghan
I think sexuality cant be changed ( and maybe thats actually pretty good else the whole world would be "brainwashed" to be heterosexual by religious extremists...I still fear for the future however, they shouldnt touch it!)
I do believe that things like HRT can intensify slight excisting sexual feelings or even latent ones
I personally hope that I will get HRT and see if it changes within me...Im mostly into girls but certain - and thats a rather small percentage- men excite me already..so Im a curious cat ;D
Quote from: Tink on January 31, 2008, 07:24:18 PM
Personally, I don't think it is possible. My view is that sexual orientation is innate and unchangeable, but of course that is just my opinion, not Tink's law of any sort. I like men too much to even consider being intimate with a girl. That is just a huge no-no on my book, and needless to say, that isn't happening anytime soon!, I mean "NEVER" :P
tink :icon_chick:
:laugh: yep I agree. I'm da same but the opposite. I've always liked girls. my sexual prefrence hasnt change. Never been w/a dude. no dudes for this dude. :laugh:
I was just looking through some hentai I hid in my room in a trading card sleeve (teenage antics..) and laughing at it, but It kinda scared me too, cause it was a hetero scene, and I completely identified with the female, and not just the gender, but the non-dominant role, and I seem to remember having the same fantasy when I was in puberty. I guess its just weird to me... I don't like guys, but I like the idea of that role. I keep thinking that maybe I DO like guys as well, but prefer ones that don't exist... One I'd like! Lol... Maybe I'm bi... I've never really explored this fully I don't think, and I've never been attracted to men. So maybe I'm technically Bicurious cause I am curious, but know I like girls...
And then there's pansexual, which is a confusing term...
I was born asexual and nothing can change that.
Quote from: Tink on January 31, 2008, 07:24:18 PM
Probably. If you do some research on this very website, you will read some posts from some members whose sexual orientation has apparently shifted. Personally, I don't think it is possible. My view is that sexual orientation is innate and unchangeable, but of course that is just my opinion, not Tink's law of any sort. I like men too much to even consider being intimate with a girl. That is just a huge no-no on my book, and needless to say, that isn't happening anytime soon!, I mean "NEVER" :P
tink :icon_chick:
i agree with tink that it's unchangeable, and thats the experience of non-transsexuals, though my sexual orientation has changed, i think.
before i transitioned, i only went out with women and identified as straight 'male', though now i'm only attracted to men (at least i think, lol). i think i was just confused about my sexuality before transition. i was still confused about gender identity and stuff, and being a 'gay male' was certainly not right!
i still haven't started hrt yet (one month to go, fingers crossed), so it was just going full-time that's changed my orientation ???
jenny
x x
Quote from: jenny_ on February 06, 2008, 01:41:02 AM
i agree with tink that it's unchangeable, and thats the experience of non-transsexuals, though my sexual orientation has changed, i think.
How about this: sexual orientation does not change, but being the wrong sex can make it hard to see
what that orientation is, so some transsexuals only figure out their orientation during / after transition?
Nfr
I actually think a chemical reaction in your head can do quite a bit in that area when it is that major. I wouldn't doubt it actually...
I have to be honest and say I am bi. I have always been sexually attracted to men but could never see myself in a relationship with one. It kinda didn't work in my head to think of myself prior to transition to be with a guy in a relationship. Now I love guys I love to tease them and see how they react, some guys are so funny too, those are my favorite. And I can so see myself marrying a guy and living together. I've always liked girls and still do but unlike before I see my attraction to another woman as a playfull thing rather than taking it seriously like I did before HRT. Ya it can get confusing so I always like to say "I just look at the person rather than the sex" I think my views on gender preference have changed but not my sexual orientation entirely. But I did have a friend who kept telling me that she likes guys now but didn't before.
Never had much interest in sex, but since I completed my transition Im definitely more attracted to men, maybe becaused I get noticed more, I love the attention I get from men when builders whistle or truckers honk in my direction, some men are very flattering and charming and make me blush, I love to please a man and be held and be intimate in that special way, I guess Im just a straight woman.
p
I presented the same question to my therapist yesterday; she seems to be of a common mind as a lot here. That as one comes to terms with who they are may also discover attractions opposite to those they've had all their lives. Now naturally she came to the determination that I was talking about myself, hay she is a good therapist what can I say, and as a couple of you here had the same questions with regards to me being married. I ensured here that my feelings for my wife have not changed, but on possibility that we may divorce would consider having a relationship with a guy, once transition is complete. And I also find that my attrition to women as being more envious than any other type of attraction.
QuoteRe: Does sexual orientation change?
like gender, sexual preference is immutable. i'm guessing that i was always bi to begin with, yet i didn't feel comfortable being with men when i had the wrong plumbing. now that my body matches my gender, i can finally say that i'm also sexually attracted to guys. ha ha ha
Quote from: Natasha on February 07, 2008, 06:16:12 PMlike gender, sexual preference is immutable. i'm guessing that i was always bi to begin with, yet i didn't feel comfortable being with men when i had the wrong plumbing. now that my body matches my gender, i can finally say that i'm also sexually attracted to guys. ha ha ha
EXACTLY!!! Natasha nailed it.
Quote from: Natasha on February 07, 2008, 06:16:12 PM
QuoteRe: Does sexual orientation change?
like gender, sexual preference is immutable. i'm guessing that i was always bi to begin with, yet i didn't feel comfortable being with men when i had the wrong plumbing. now that my body matches my gender, i can finally say that i'm also sexually attracted to guys. ha ha ha
I agree. I had a friend explain it this way: You managed to deny your true gender for so long. What's the say you didn't do the same in regards to your orientation?
For me the percieved change started sometime after I started HRT, but long before SRS.
For newbies: When it happens it wil feel completely natural. There is nothing to fear, it is the true you emerging.
Yes and no. If growing up you repressed your liking for boys, then it will probably resurface in force. If, on the other side, you never cared for them and felt more at home with women sexually then you won't still care. You will feel like experimenting, though.
It's really impossible to go through transition without sexuality being affected one way or another; the body is as if reborn and open to possibility once again and will not operate quite the same way as before.
Hi there,
I have always been attracted to women and I am married to one but the other week or so I found myself flirting with a man. I have pondered on that since, a strange and bizarre feeling. I don't know why I did it.
I haven't even explored my sexuality as my thoughts have been 24/7 on dyshoria.
P.S and I'm not even on hormone replacement yet, lol.
hugs
Nigella
I would agree with most people that have posted here. I have noticed that my attraction to men has very much come in with a vengance. I was married for years to a woman and never thought about seeing myself with a man. I have been on HRT for almost two years now and I can only see myself with a man. I never thought I was gay when I was younger, but I do believe I was bi, and it annoys me when others automaticaly assume that when you tell them what your doing. I have been dating for a while and just recently got engaged two days before Valentines Day with a wonderful man that I have been seeing for a while! I never thought that would happen! Granted there are obstacles to overcome, but I welcomed this one with open arms. Enjoy the way life changes and count your blessings. Your heart will tell you what you want, not your body or society. Yes, I consider myself a straight woman even though I still have to have SRS.
JESSI
For that matter, Renate, I'm not so sure about having any romantic/sexual relationships in my future with anyone at all. I'm not against the concept, just doubting that it will happen for me. I'm feeling kind of burned out from 22 years of marriage and anticipating a long quiet interval of solitude when it ends. When I can simply focus on my needs instead of always having to put someone else's needs first. After that, I can't think that far ahead. I just don't know.
Hi all I suppose I could refer to myself as bi. I married another Trans girl three years ago. I have never been big on the sex department, maybe I am damaged goods from being abused physically and mentally as well as sexually assaulted by my own ex some years back. Well anyway that is in the past. All I ever really wanted was for someone to embrace me and make me feel secure and protected in their arms. Some one I could share intimacy with and to love and be loved. I have all that and I count myself the happiest and luckiest Tgirl in the world to have had the fortune to meet my soul mate, right here on this message board five years ago.
As for men well I do get quite attracted to those I would call gentlemen and probably have no qualms in playing house with one if I the opportunity was their and I was some younger. As it is I am happy with what I have. I have never had the pleasure of sharing my life with the one who shows me love and caring then the one I share my life with at this time. I do have the right plumbing and I really thought that it would change my sexual drive, but I fear I still have past scars from past experience that is going to take a little more time to heal.
Cindy
Cindy
Congratulations Jessi. It really sounds like you've got a really good person to spend the rest of your life with. I agree with Renate that it seems like you've found your dream. As for me, I have not yet started HRT, but I do know that I am bi-sexual. I've never been married, but being bi gives me the best of both worlds, when I feel like it.
Gina :icon_dance:
I don't really divide it into this triple category anymore. I'll just go with what I like. I think thats the most progressive mindset to have in this day and age. Too bad it makes things infinitely more confusing...
Apart from actual HRT going on, I think sexual orientation in itself is an interesting topic. In ancient Rome, everyone was bi. If you were a Roman male and wanted some action but didn't feel like having a kid, you found another guy to have fun with. It was perfectly normal and thus everyone accepted that part of themselves.
I was trying to be a straight man for the longest time, but it felt forced. Now that I've admitted to myself that I'm not actually a man, I don't have to force myself into that role which means I can actually look at guys now and be OK with it. I'm not even on HRT yet but just admitting to myself that it's OK has made a big difference. Heck yeah I'd like to find a boyfriend and then get married eventually. I'll report later though once I start my HRT.
Quote from: Maddie Suzumiya on February 23, 2008, 05:26:00 PM
Apart from actual HRT going on, I think sexual orientation in itself is an interesting topic. In ancient Rome, everyone was bi. If you were a Roman male and wanted some action but didn't feel like having a kid, you found another guy to have fun with. It was perfectly normal and thus everyone accepted that part of themselves.
I was trying to be a straight man for the longest time, but it felt forced. Now that I've admitted to myself that I'm not actually a man, I don't have to force myself into that role which means I can actually look at guys now and be OK with it. I'm not even on HRT yet but just admitting to myself that it's OK has made a big difference. Heck yeah I'd like to find a boyfriend and then get married eventually. I'll report later though once I start my HRT.
Thats like me kinda. I wouldn't exactly want a boyfriend, at least not yet, but I'm pretty open to anything I would have puked at in fifth grade.
I can say without question, that I was lesbian when I married my wife so many years ago. As a man, I oftenimagined myself as a woman when being intimate. After 3 years of hrt, I can say without question, I still am. Male bodies do nothing for me, and when I have a man around my age flirt with me, it makes me very uncomfortable, and I start putting a little distance between us. On the other hand, close proximity, touching, etc in a group of women, lesbian or straight, makes me feel very comfortable....at home
Dyed in the wool,
gold star,
Bev
Quote from: Natasha on February 07, 2008, 06:16:12 PM
QuoteRe: Does sexual orientation change?
I am a big beleaver that it does and can, a pomosexual.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pomosexual
I thorght this word ment a fluid in sexuality unlike being bi its a change of sexuality as gender changes, but unfortunetly for me the wiki does not agree with my interpritation of this word.
So if people ask about my sexual orientation I always say POMO
Quote from: ErickaM on February 07, 2008, 03:22:22 PM
I presented the same question to my therapist yesterday; she seems to be of a common mind as a lot here. That as one comes to terms with who they are may also discover attractions opposite to those they've had all their lives. Now naturally she came to the determination that I was talking about myself, hay she is a good therapist what can I say, and as a couple of you here had the same questions with regards to me being married. I ensured here that my feelings for my wife have not changed, but on possibility that we may divorce would consider having a relationship with a guy, once transition is complete. And I also find that my attrition to women as being more envious than any other type of attraction.
Erika, she does sound like a good therapist, lol.
I think that how you feel is understandable, on the envious part.
I am not trans, just a gay girl trying to learn, but I hear ya'll and wanted to respond,
I hope that is ok.
It's cool to learn. :)
Posted on: March 27, 2008, 02:38:57 AM
Quote from: SusanK on January 31, 2008, 01:34:28 PM
Don't tell the gay community sexual orientation is open to change, and especially don't tell the trans/homophobic community. I personally think it's one reaon why some in the gay community don't like transpeople, namely m2f's, because many do change their orientation from gay as males to straight as women. They don't get the attraction is the same, the thinking and expression changes. And the trans/homophobic would jump on this for a "cure" not realizing they're part of the mix too. My personal belief is that we're all born bi-sexual, and only express a general preference because of our individual nature/nuture circumstances, and it varies with time, place, circumstances and situation over our life. And one's susceptibility to changes is generally nature (genes), why some feel exclusively attracted to one sex, some don't and some vary. But it's not always just sexual attraction, but also about interpersonal attraction for the whole range of factors. People like to limit it to sex because they think it separates things and people, when it doesn't. Why else are them sex/gender specific clubs, groups, etc. if for everything but sex, but includes companisonship, friendship, character, etc.? So why is just sex considered differently by recent cultures? It wasn't in the past, sex was just that, and without any overtones of morality.
Susan, I have only been in the gay community for 2 years, but yes I can see how this is sadly true. It is often difficult to find your own identity sexually and I think it's hard for some who are in the gay community to see the struggle or the change? I know I have seen it in my short time. I have faced this, it was quite difficult with my girlfriend being with her, having lived 'straight' for so long, yet find, found, a few attractions to males in the time being, yet going on history never once enjoyed sex with them. I am what I am. I do agree people should choose on their own, and who cares what someone else thinks, eh? I'm tired of trying to fit into everyone's boxes. I hope it's ok to comment on that, it just struck me.
Lucy, lol, I would have to say that is a new one on me. ;) @}~
~ mystic
Promosexual???? Hmmm just how many...... multi ,whatever, sexual, however many different definitions are there anyway? "Cheez wiz!" This can get quite confusing for this old gal don't you know. Well as best I can identify myself as, is #1 I am Cindy, #2 a lesbian woman. #3 flower child, #4 Iroquois. "hee hee." and Well anyway I still love everyone on this board, I see the young-uns here as my kids.
Cindy
Cindy
Quote from: cindybc on March 28, 2008, 01:55:14 AM
#1 I am Cindy, #2 a lesbian woman. #3 flower child, #4 Iroquois. "hee hee." and Well anyway I still love everyone on this board, I see the young-uns here as my kids. Cindy
Does that inclue us not so young uns as well ;D ::) ;D
Hi Lucy, of course you guys, too. After all you were one of the first folks on this board that I met. By the way I must congratulate you for continuing to move forward.
Cindy
Very interesting thread. My ex said I was gay because I wanted to be a woman. Fault logic.
As for me, I am not above being lesbion, but I not against being with a man, ether. No, ladies I am not bi. Right now it is all about me and I cannot share my life until I get myself right.
Love
Janet
Hi Janet, now you are being a smart kid, and if I could reach through this monitor I would give you a big hug. If you are new, welcome to Susan's. You are quite welcome to share what ever you wish pertaining to transitioning. I have a feeling that we might be the ones to learn some from you.
I suppose that one could classify my mate and I as lesbian, We are both trans women living together. We were married four years ago in the Provence of Ontario.
Have a wonderful day hon.
Cindy
Quote from: Janet_Girl on April 02, 2008, 09:15:06 PM
Very interesting thread. My ex said I was gay because I wanted to be a woman. Fault logic.
As for me, I am not above being lesbion, but I not against being with a man, ether. No, ladies I am not bi. Right now it is all about me and I cannot share my life until I get myself right.
Love
Janet
Janet, wow thats how I feel to. Its a hard one to discribe to some one. So in your case you would say that sexuality has a fluidity to, I know I do.