Do you keep it real on here? Or do you let peeps go on in blissful ignorance of reality?
I keep it real. It doesn't do anyone any favors to sugar coat things or tell them what they want to hear. I wish, like hell, that people would've gave me a dose of reality BEFORE I got my lower surgery (FtM). Could've saved myself 7 grand and a whole lot of depression, anguish, surgery time, ect.
So I'm blunt...I think we (a collective we, as in transgendered individuals) need to NOT have blinders on. We need to weigh the pros and cons of our decisions BEFORE we make them. A lot of us get so concerned with that end result, we fail to realize how we'll get there, and whether it's truly the right choice (especially in the case of FtMs, who are often way too optimistic about the lower surgeries we have available---I know I was).
I think everyone on these forums know that I keep it REAL beoootch :laugh:
My feeling is this: you are only fooling yourself if its anything else but real....but just like any other forum you always have a small percentage of those who think they will win a award if they BS everyone. I am always honest with others, it the only way of handling issues.
Quote from: Nero on May 12, 2008, 05:23:00 AM
Do you keep it real on here? Or do you let peeps go on in blissful ignorance of reality?
Ah, sweetie, I
live in blissful ignorance of reality... or...
um... I might become aware of the bad things that have happened to me.
Quote from: Annwyn on May 13, 2008, 07:17:57 AM
I think everyone on these forums know that I keep it REAL beoootch :laugh:
I do not reply to half the dreamers but blatant fallacy need to be noted.
I am always honest about what I say here. It seems like an incredibly stupid waste of time to go on to a forum such as this one and spout a bunch of false crap. Okay........well.....I guess that I COULD have mentioned my beautiful 100 room mansion and the millions of dollars that I possess....in my mind. :P
Quote from: Nero on May 12, 2008, 05:23:00 AM
Do you keep it real on here? Or do you let peeps go on in blissful ignorance of reality?
Who am I to decide what's "real" for someone else?
~Kate~
Reality has many faces. The one in our head and the consensus reality we all use to stay alive.
Telling reality rather than fluff doesn't have to always be blunt, harsh, in-your-face, and alienating, although, there are times when it will be taken as such if the personal investment of the questioner is deeply embedded enough in what answers they get and mostly expected.
Putting up straw-men around here seems like a very good way of watching them get burned to the ground. :)
Although, being 'realistic' has a tendency to be different for different people. Our sense of what is and isn't realistic can range widely.
For instance, I know that Lisa has a very hardheaded sense of what she considers 'real.' But, I've been on boards with her for a long time and find her views challenge me very often and certainly make me consider what she says. Do our senses of 'reality' coincide. Sometimes they have and do, sometimes they diverge.
But, I always find her honest in presenting what she thinks and usually why. Given the gnomic style, it can be difficult to puzzle out sometimes. :laugh:
N~
To paraphrase Epimenides, all Internet forum posters are liars. :P
At this point in my life I'm not so sure what's "real" -- I'm sort of starting over with that. It can be a bit disorienting from time to time. Don't trust a word I say. That goes for just about anything you read on the Internet. Or see on the TV. Or read in the newspapers. Or hear from your college professors.
But no, I don't write anything that I don't believe, at least when I write it. I'm not a troll. (Spoken like a true troll! >:D)
Cheers!
~A.
I keep it real always... but... I'm optimistic and I always see the glass as half full (no laughing from the crowd please). So my
truth, I admit might be tainted by optimism. But IT is still the truth.
QuoteTelling reality rather than fluff doesn't have to always be blunt, harsh, in-your-face, and alienating
Absolutely.
Amanda
I keep it real, I'd contradict myself a lot less if i didn't.
Real, but I try to sugar coat it.
The internet is a nasty place, I am just doing my part to make it pretty. ;D
I tell it like I see it. Why would I BS someone on this computer. I tell the real story about me as that is all I know and all that I will tell.
Sheila
Quote from: Nero on May 12, 2008, 05:23:00 AM
Do you keep it real on here? Or do you let peeps go on in blissful ignorance of reality?
i don't know about the expression, 'keepin' it real'
it's so 1999...
oh yeah, and i always have to do my pimp walk when i'm sayin' it.
ya know what i'm sayin'? yo
i think a lot of street slang is quite far from reality, and irritating to the ears and sensibilities.
I reject your reality and substitute my own. ;)
I lie, sorry :"[ I'm not a MtF game artist from san diego.
My name is hikuuni, im a 12 year old boy prostitue from the philipines. I sneak on my master's computer when he is asleep or too high on cocaine to notice i am gone.
QuoteAh, sweetie, I live in blissful ignorance of reality... or... um... I might become aware of the bad things that have happened to me.
"hee, hee, hee." I love that one
Of course I tell the truth when giving others support when needed and a pun now and again to embellish a quote. Sometimes I post a response story-style.
For the exception: of when I am telling some stories ;)
Cindy
Quote from: ell on May 13, 2008, 11:32:09 PM
Quote from: Nero on May 12, 2008, 05:23:00 AM
Do you keep it real on here? Or do you let peeps go on in blissful ignorance of reality?
i don't know about the expression, 'keepin' it real'
it's so 1999...
oh yeah, and i always have to do my pimp walk when i'm sayin' it.
ya know what i'm sayin'? yo
i think a lot of street slang is quite far from reality, and irritating to the ears and sensibilities.
I just love it when you pimp-walk out from under your rock and spout a gem, ellie!!
I always tell the truth, I have no reason to lie about my life. Both here and in person.
Z
Quote from: Zythyra on May 14, 2008, 08:54:03 AM
I always tell the truth, I have no reason to lie about my life. Both here and in person.
Z
same here, although I don't mind being challenged by someone on something i've posted. makes me have to stop and think, and I usually learn something in the process.
The threat of the same makes me stop and think thru what i'm about to post. Hopefully i've kept my level of crap posts here to a minimum :laugh:
As a newb here on the board I don't yet think i'm in a position to go around burning down people's straw men, and being new to GID i'm not even for sure i'd recognize a lot of them in the first place :P
Quote from: Nichole on May 14, 2008, 08:50:44 AM
Quote from: ell on May 13, 2008, 11:32:09 PM
Quote from: Nero on May 12, 2008, 05:23:00 AM
Do you keep it real on here? Or do you let peeps go on in blissful ignorance of reality?
i don't know about the expression, 'keepin' it real'
it's so 1999...
oh yeah, and i always have to do my pimp walk when i'm sayin' it.
ya know what i'm sayin'? yo
i think a lot of street slang is quite far from reality, and irritating to the ears and sensibilities.
I just love it when you pimp-walk out from under your rock and spout a gem, ellie!!
Thank you sweetie!
It's ok Elli hon, when the storm hits, you are welcome to hide under my rock with my critters and I. I got big critters and little ones and their all furry and lay on their backs and mewl and grin at you like a cheshire cat when you pet them. "hee, hee, hee."
Well at least there is a sample of some stuff I write. ;D
Cindy
Quote from: ell on May 14, 2008, 02:06:48 PM
Quote from: Nichole on May 14, 2008, 08:50:44 AM
Quote from: ell on May 13, 2008, 11:32:09 PM
Quote from: Nero on May 12, 2008, 05:23:00 AM
Do you keep it real on here? Or do you let peeps go on in blissful ignorance of reality?
i don't know about the expression, 'keepin' it real'
it's so 1999...
oh yeah, and i always have to do my pimp walk when i'm sayin' it.
ya know what i'm sayin'? yo
i think a lot of street slang is quite far from reality, and irritating to the ears and sensibilities.
I just love it when you pimp-walk out from under your rock and spout a gem, ellie!!
Thank you sweetie!
:laugh: I have this wonderful mental image of you struttin down the sidewalk scaring small animals and children and leaving the guys trembling in your shadow!! :laugh:
I thought you were more ummm, under, so to speak than that. O my!! Mistress Ellie emerges!!! :laugh:
Hugs,
Nichole
Oh yes, THE MISTRESS has indeed emerged!
I'm always 100% honest be it with my "carers / medics" or the forums I subscribe to ....
Know so many who go "through the process" who lie through their back teeth .... :( ....
WTF .... if I were lying it would invalidate the whole point of my being here ....
After all the reason I remain on forums is to seek resolution of certain internal conflicts and maybe help others along the route ?
Laura x
Of course in 'keeping it real' does anyone find that easier to do with other people than to be able to 'keep it real' with one's self?
The Curious Feminist Goddess of Spring,
Nichole
Quote from: Nichole on May 14, 2008, 08:53:26 PM
Of course in 'keeping it real' does anyone find that easier to do with other people than to be able to 'keep it real' with one's self?
The Curious Feminist Goddess of Spring,
Nichole
About the same difficulty, actually. Probably my biggest fault is that I can never hide the truth about myself from anybody including me.
What does it mean to keep it real? I don't tell people what they want to hear. But I do exercise a lot of self control, and refrain from commenting on a number of things.
Kristi
As real as I can (since I don't what's real or not at the moment), saying the things on my mind, since I am trying to still figure myself out.
Quote from: Nichole on May 14, 2008, 05:34:44 PM
:laugh: I have this wonderful mental image of you struttin down the sidewalk scaring small animals and children and leaving the guys trembling in your shadow!! :laugh:
I thought you were more ummm, under, so to speak than that. O my!! Mistress Ellie emerges!!! :laugh:
Hugs,
Nichole
*smiles shyly*
Posted on: May 15, 2008, 11:03:58 AM
Quote from: Nero on May 14, 2008, 06:02:53 PM
Oh yes, THE MISTRESS has indeed emerged!
Watch it, you.
Quote from: Nichole on May 14, 2008, 08:53:26 PM
Of course in 'keeping it real' does anyone find that easier to do with other people than to be able to 'keep it real' with one's self?
The Curious Feminist Goddess of Spring,
Nichole
It is actually easier to keep it real within one's self. There are no excuses everything is our doing. To make other's understand is a lot more difficult to do, you have to speak their language.
Quote from: lisagurl on May 15, 2008, 11:50:00 AM
Quote from: Nichole on May 14, 2008, 08:53:26 PM
Of course in 'keeping it real' does anyone find that easier to do with other people than to be able to 'keep it real' with one's self?
The Curious Feminist Goddess of Spring,
Nichole
It is actually easier to keep it real within one's self. There are no excuses everything is our doing. To make other's understand is a lot more difficult to do, you have to speak their language.
I grew up on the belief of "Pleasing others", I worried I was never good enough for the rest of the world. When I realized it was what I want and believe that is important to me, and that everything in my life was created by me (Law of Attraction), it made things a little easier. Though, I still struggle.
Quote from: Nichole on May 14, 2008, 08:53:26 PM
Of course in 'keeping it real' does anyone find that easier to do with other people than to be able to 'keep it real' with one's self?
The Curious Feminist Goddess of Spring,
Nichole
I've spent my life building up the gossamer layers of artifice that constitute my identity; I'm not even really sure at this point what "keepin' it real" with myself would mean. I'm working on that. Since I'm hardly capable of making reliable judgements about myself, I try to avoid judging others at all.
Quote from: lisagurl on May 15, 2008, 11:50:00 AM
Quote from: Nichole on May 14, 2008, 08:53:26 PM
Of course in 'keeping it real' does anyone find that easier to do with other people than to be able to 'keep it real' with one's self?
The Curious Feminist Goddess of Spring,
Nichole
It is actually easier to keep it real within one's self. There are no excuses everything is our doing. To make other's understand is a lot more difficult to do, you have to speak their language.
I think, as you can see from subsequent comments, Lisa, that not everyone has the same optimism you do in regard to 'being honest with one's self.'
I think we often 'fool' ourselves about where and why and how we do things, say things and how we view the world.
Normally, in my experience, people see others better than they see themselves. It's a sfaety thing, one learns to read others because one see's them outside herself and they may be able to do her harm in some fashion. Or, my investment in what X is doing, how she looks, etc, may not be quite as much as it is for myself.
I think most of us have difficulty accepting that we sometimes behave badly, think irrationally and lack good emotional connection with others. To "[build] up the gossamer layers of artifice" around one's sense of self until there is a nice, thick cocoon doesn't seem like an unusual action to me.
I think we all do it to lesser or greater extents. I've never seen anyone who isn't subject to that, myself included. Although I meet a lot of people who deny they do so.
Nichole
One of my dear friends assessed my book in these terms:
"I can see how you saw things the way you did."
She was with me during some of those darkest times in my life. Obviously she disagreed some with my perspective. But we are all different aren't we?
We all experience many negative and positive things in our lives. I try to deal with the negatives and propound the positives. So yes, you will get more Captain Crunch from me versus liver and onions. I don't mean to sugar coat. But I will put a more positive spin on things. Sometimes that positive spin actually helps me deal with the negatives.
Cindi
As an empath it is easy to feel another's feelings and thus the old saying is, "try walking a mile in their shoes" before you make a judgment of them. It works quite well.
Cindi, hon, working with other folks was how I found who truly resided within me.
It is the human nature factor for all of us to interpret and come to an understanding of a certain concept, then to come out with a different conclusion, who's right and who's wrong?
Cindy
I can do empathy. Judgement is still a problem. I don't trust my own decisions in life most of the time, so how can I judge other people's decisions, even knowing pretty well what they are going through?
Keep it real.....?
I only express my own reality after all it's the only reality I know and that I could consider myself to an expert on. I'm open to a fault, much to the chagrin of my family at times, but then I have nothing to prove either. I am who I am and that's the way I tell it and it's up to the reader to take what they need and discard the rest as "So much rhetoric." I also think that we all have been guilty of trying to push or "Strongly express" opinion at times but if we can't believe in what we believe, then who else will believe us.
As with any forum we will always inject a little bit of our own personality into our views, it's only natural, and I know that regular members soon catch on to others members way of thinking and their beliefs and the way they express themselves.
That being said, I would encourage all new members to read everything they can that is presented here by forum members as what is good for the goose is not always good for the gander.
Steph
No you can't come out with a 100% perfect judgment, after all we are all fallible human beings with our good side and our bad sides and we all have a different concept from one and the other about as to what we conceive to be right. We cannot know what makes a person 100% and their traits but you can certainly know the part that is bothering that person at the time they are experiencing a particular block that is preventing that person to grow beyond that point. You can't solve his or her problem for them, that don't work. But you can certainly give them an idea of which set of tracks to follow to help them find their own way.
Fortunately and surprisingly working with folks I have lots of patience, which I quite lack for anything else. When I'm working with another I just forget about the time element stick with them as long as necessary. Most a times they will come out with their own answer to what ever dilemma they were in. *I found myself* through helping others to find themselves.
90% of the folks I worked with was women, and children, even before I transitioned. Even when I was younger I would not turn down a call to go to the aid of a mom and her children in distress, I wasn't even working as a social worker back then, but I did my part when it came to rescue missions whether that be a person, persons or even an animal.
Cindy
lol..I think that I'd rather not post than waste time fabricating something I'm not; popularity is such fleeting candy anyway.
QuoteI think most of us have difficulty accepting that we sometimes behave badly, think irrationally and lack good emotional connection with others.
We know when we are not adhering to general social rules. It is just that social rules need to be changed to reflect how humans are. It is not that it is difficult, it is just not who we are and why should we be phony to please someone else we do not care about? Not everyone values emotional connection. In fact some believe emotions cause irrationally and need to be tamed. Most times emotions are caused by an imbalance in the body. Proper health maintenance and a strong rational understanding of the world help each of us control our own, regardless of what other's do. This is not a flaw but a skill. Being a choosy critic and valuing your time and energy, applying it to the most valued environment you want is more of a personal obligation. It is not anyone's responsibility to make everyone you see happy.
Quote from: soldierjane on May 15, 2008, 05:50:58 PM
lol..I think that I'd rather not post than waste time fabricating something I'm not; popularity is such fleeting candy anyway.
That seems to be a smart way of thinking about it, Jane.
I think we sometimes need to remind ourselves of Lao Tse's dictum:
QuoteEveryone always tells the truth; you must simply hear the truth he tells you.
N~
What you see is what you get. My older quote at the bottom of my avatar used to be "perception is reality". I still believe that. So, if you are asking me if I'm 'real' on this forum (I don't have the spare time to visit other forums), the answer is, I relate my true perceptions. In that way, I suppose, you are seeing what I see, which is 'real' to me.
What would be the point of fabricating a lot of things here? My life is full enough without being 'full of it' here. Yep, this is me, warts and all.
Bev
Quote from: lisagurl on May 15, 2008, 07:46:32 PM
Not everyone values emotional connection. In fact some believe emotions cause irrationally and need to be tamed.
We are Borg. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile.
I keep it as real as possible. There are no one else to talk to about all of this confusing, depressing baggage, except 1 person I know who's busy making her life successful (which I support fully). My family is useless. My mom, the first I told fully to, does not see how important this is, and how miserable it really makes me... I thought that I wouldn't have to complain every single day about my problems. I thought once was enough for a parent who is usually supportive, and not a religious nutcase. I thought thats the point where they let you cry, or hug you and say they love you. Nothing... No tears. No hug. No phonecalls. It was more like this secret meeting for her to make sure I wouldn't let anyone else know or do anything, just so my brothers life wouldn't be "ruined". Well... Isn't that convenient? My life is already on the course of ruin, and I'm to be sacrificed for HIM? His life has never been as hard as mine, and his friends wouldn't ditch him, cause me and him are so different, people think one of us is adopted...
So I try to shorten what I say, cause I don't like depressing people, or dumping my baggage like bombs, cause I feel worse whenever I ruin someone elses day.
I'd tell everyone on here my real name and show my picture if I weren't so afraid of people following links to this from my myspace or facebook or searching me on the internet or just figuring it out. I can't out myself like that...
I'm such a good actor in real life, that no one suspects anything.... And if they suspect anything, they figure I'm gay and keep it to themselves. They must doubt that too, though, cause I talk in their dialect. Politically incorrect, terrible, and mean. Not mean people, just mean words. When in Rome, speak latin...
So you people, and 420chans GID thread are the only things I have to talk to...
I try (sometimes unsuccessfully) to be more careful here than in IRL, for people can't see my face or hear my tone of voice. I think that words are so much harsher without those modifying factors; hence, it's difficult to tell when someone has been hurt (unless they respond to what one has posted)
Also, I can only make comments/posts based on my own individual experience and deep-rooted beliefs. No one has to agree with what I post, and that is perfectly fine (with me at least). I don't think that anyone on here is trying to change the way people think or experience things, they are merely expressing *their* point of view/beliefs/stories (not *mine*, *yours*, *his*, or *hers*). If we can grasp this fact and keep it civil when we respond to threads, I honestly believe that we can save ourselves a lot of drama.
tink :icon_chick:
I'm pretty sure I've been completely honest with everything I've said here.
I have no reason to lie... The big thing that I have to lie about in real life I don't have to here...
im fairly honest here...
almost to a fault sometimes.
I give people my honest opinion, in a constructive manner... if they don't like it, sorry. Sometimes the truth hurts....
I will never tell someone what they want to hear, just because they want to hear that.... its unfair to them and me.
I agree with tink... im more careful here with things like sarcasm... the internet is often misunderstood...
R >:D
If someone on the board is hurting I will go and try to resolve what ever their problem is. Sometimes I will enter gently and on tip toes for some and simply just share different ideas to help them find their own solution. But I will not hide the truth to anyone because I believe that the truth might be required to help them solve whatever their problem might be. Sometimes I may use humor, nothing remotely sarcastic. Sometimes all one can truly do is a cyber hug and send a prayer for all to work out for the best.
Cindy
I never give false flattery, I see what I see, and will comment on that. I would never tell someone what they want to hear, there is no point to that. But at the same time, I would never try to bring anyone down either, if someone is attractive, I have no qualms in saying so. I might be a little jealous, but it won't stop me admiring what is obviously apparent.
I don't always agree with everyones point of view, as anyone might not with mine either. I try to be as civil as possible as I am in real life, very rarely lose my cool, but I can be a bitch when I have to be. I think in real life being nice all the time doesn't do you any favours. :)
good old lao tsu
Quote from: buttercup on May 17, 2008, 02:09:24 AM
I think in real life being nice all the time doesn't do you any favours. :)
in the US, lotsa people feel that way too, unfortunately.
a convincing episode of
House last night declared friendliness symptomatic of disease.
but actually it works more like this: it depends on who you're with
if you're with your children (regardless of their age) you better be a sweetheart. or else.
if you're with friends, you had better be nice. or else.
if you're walking in the city, among strangers, you had better be polite and considerate. or else. (but without seeming vulnerable)
if you are spending the day by yourself, walking through the wilderness, you had better be sweet, gentle, and polite. or else.
if you're with your dog, or cat, you had better be a real sweetheart. or else.
the idea that anytime's a great time to be rude and inconsiderate of others' feelings is way over-played and leads to alot of unnecessary unhappiness.
-Ellie{L}
As I mentioned previously, I always speak the truth, as I see it. I'm not the type of person to tell someone what they want to hear, if I thought something could be taken as hurtful, I'd probably just keep it to myself and not say anything.
Perhaps an important question is; do we tell ourselves what we want to hear as opposed to facing the truth?
Z
Quote from: Zythyra on May 17, 2008, 12:10:08 PM
Perhaps an important question is; do we tell ourselves what we want to hear as opposed to facing the truth?
I've always told myself,
"believe what you want to be true, not what you *fear* is true."I'm.... uhm...
Purposely Delusional.Hey, it WORKS for me ;)
~Kate~
Quote from: Zythyra on May 17, 2008, 12:10:08 PM
Perhaps an important question is; do we tell ourselves what we want to hear as opposed to facing the truth?
Z
whose "truth"? your truth isn't mine and vice versa! ;)
QuoteRe: Do you keep it real on here? Or do you tell peeps what they want to hear?
i never tell people what they want to hear. you should know better than that!
Quote from: Natasha on May 17, 2008, 01:26:45 PM
i never tell people what they want to hear. you should know better than that!
O, maybe not, but I think sometimes you manage that anyhow, Tasha. >:D
Lol Gracie, thats just wild. Personally ever since I started transitioning I have saw no need to be anything but my self. I for one have had enough acting as a male to last several lifetimes. Im here to learn and share my experiences with those who might benifit from them and I think that in time those that are all about BS will be outed. I have in the last year watched sveral people get banned from sites, come back under other names and still get outed as trolls and the like.
The only place I still play a role in is a on line game and my character has always been female and she has just been my feminine side I couldnt present to the world. Kind of a safety valve that I employed.
Quotein the US, lotsa people feel that way too, unfortunately.
a convincing episode of House last night declared friendliness symptomatic of disease.
but actually it works more like this: it depends on who you're with
if you're with your children (regardless of their age) you better be a sweetheart. or else.
if you're with friends, you had better be nice. or else.
if you're walking in the city, among strangers, you had better be polite and considerate. or else. (but without seeming vulnerable)
if you are spending the day by yourself, walking through the wilderness, you had better be sweet, gentle, and polite. or else.
if you're with your dog, or cat, you had better be a real sweetheart. or else.
the idea that anytime's a great time to be rude and inconsiderate of others' feelings is way over-played and leads to alot of unnecessary unhappiness.
-Ellie{L}
Hi Ellie sweets, That was beautiful what you posted above.
Hi Kate, remember the song. All I have to do is dream?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YKn6h2x5IcY
"Hey!" what can you expect from a hopeless romantic?
Cindy
Quote from: Rachael on May 17, 2008, 12:59:58 AM
im fairly honest here...
almost to a fault sometimes.
I give people my honest opinion, in a constructive manner... if they don't like it, sorry. Sometimes the truth hurts....
I will never tell someone what they want to hear, just because they want to hear that.... its unfair to them and me.
I agree with tink... im more careful here with things like sarcasm... the internet is often misunderstood...
R >:D
I think it's the schadenfreude that puts people off, Rachel.
Quote from: cindybc on May 17, 2008, 03:12:18 PM
Quotein the US, lotsa people feel that way too, unfortunately.
a convincing episode of House last night declared friendliness symptomatic of disease.
but actually it works more like this: it depends on who you're with
if you're with your children (regardless of their age) you better be a sweetheart. or else.
if you're with friends, you had better be nice. or else.
if you're walking in the city, among strangers, you had better be polite and considerate. or else. (but without seeming vulnerable)
if you are spending the day by yourself, walking through the wilderness, you had better be sweet, gentle, and polite. or else.
if you're with your dog, or cat, you had better be a real sweetheart. or else.
the idea that anytime's a great time to be rude and inconsiderate of others' feelings is way over-played and leads to alot of unnecessary unhappiness.
-Ellie{L}
Hi Ellie sweets, That was beautiful what you posted above.
Cindy
oh, thank you Cindy.
Quote from: Rachael on May 17, 2008, 12:59:58 AM
im fairly honest here...
almost to a fault sometimes.
I give people my honest opinion, in a constructive manner... if they don't like it, sorry. Sometimes the truth hurts....
I will never tell someone what they want to hear, just because they want to hear that.... its unfair to them and me.
I agree with tink... im more careful here with things like sarcasm... the internet is often misunderstood...
R >:D
Well, you certainly call it like you see it! The Internet is a rough place for fragile egos. That's just a fact of life. I'd say yours is one of the less fragile egos around these parts.
Quote from: Claire de Lune on May 17, 2008, 03:37:40 PM
I think it's the schadenfreude that puts people off, Rachel.
As prickly as she can be, I don't think I've ever seen Rachael delighting in other people's suffering. She might lack sympathy at times, but that's hardly the same as schadenfreud. (And I'm not sure she's all that worried if she puts some people off sometimes.)
Quote from: ell on May 17, 2008, 11:48:14 AM
Quote from: buttercup on May 17, 2008, 02:09:24 AM
I think in real life being nice all the time doesn't do you any favours. :)
in the US, lotsa people feel that way too, unfortunately.
a convincing episode of House last night declared friendliness symptomatic of disease.
but actually it works more like this: it depends on who you're with
if you're with your children (regardless of their age) you better be a sweetheart. or else.
if you're with friends, you had better be nice. or else.
if you're walking in the city, among strangers, you had better be polite and considerate. or else. (but without seeming vulnerable)
if you are spending the day by yourself, walking through the wilderness, you had better be sweet, gentle, and polite. or else.
if you're with your dog, or cat, you had better be a real sweetheart. or else.
the idea that anytime's a great time to be rude and inconsiderate of others' feelings is way over-played and leads to alot of unnecessary unhappiness.
-Ellie{L}
I agree totally Ellie and I think I am as nice as I can be in all those situations. I suppose I meant it in a way that when someone messes with me, I give as good as I get. I'm honest about that, I have been taken as a fool way too many times in the past and I won't take cr*p from nobody. I have a deep love and regard for children, animals and even nature.
I am a product of the foster-care system, which makes me fiercely protective of my privacy (of which I had none as a child), and of my loved ones and I mistrust most strangers and governmental institutions.
Being an overly 'nice' child and young adult seeking everyone's approval led me to a lot of grief and despair. I've realised that pandering to the strongest and loudest (at school, work or friends environment) is not being fair to others who are more deserving of my attention. People, as you say, that are kind, polite, considerate and of course, innocent deserve to be treated likewise. ( That includes all cats and dogs and nature, of course.) So in my defense I say, mistreat me or my loved ones, yes, I will unleash the bitch.
Now on a forum, it is a different situation as it is a controlled environment. You can edit, delete, skip through, ignore etc, but that is not real life. What is done is done, what is said is said and cannot be taken back. Yep, I like keeping it real.
Hi, Buttercup, I understand what you speak of. I had wonderful loving parents and truly had a good childhood except at school. I am an empath so yes, I too love nature and have always cared for others. There were times I was used, abused, beaten, harassed, and even raped, so I am quite familiar with what life on the street is about. I lived there for five years. But I still try to help those I believe are in need but I am just that much more wary for those who would use me.
Leopards will never change their spots. But working as a social worker I have acquired a more conscious way of understanding the environment I work in. As far as people expressing their feelings in real life or on a message board, you would be surprised how well some can express their feelings on a message board with point blank clarity. I suppose this is one of the many reasons why we have moderators or the disorder could grow to bedlam proportions.
Message boards with an even greater membership than this one just disappear over night, like, "POOF!!" Maybe I have been extremely lucky that my life for the last couple decades has been peaceful and I still do the rescue missions thing. I believe that a message board is probably one of the safest modes of communications, thanks to the mods who donate their time to assure that a board remains a friendly place to share with others.
Cindy
Real.
What people want isn't nearly so important as doing what is good and following my intuition.
To me anyway.
It's good to see you Nero.
So far I've been as sincere as possible. The only thing I've been "dishonest" about is when I feel like saying something really bitchy or mean, I decide to say nothing at all. :P