Please, I don't want the popular or socially acceptable answer. I want the truth.
To break it down -
Would you date someone who's gender is opposite their sex?
Would you date someone who decided to take hormones and/or have surgery?
Could you love someone like this?
For those who like men (or male bodies) -
Your feelings about dating an ftm?
And your feelings about dating an mtf?
For those who like women (or female bodies) -
Your feelings on dating an ftm?
Or an mtf?
For those who are bi -
Your feelings on dating an ftm?
And your feelings on dating an mtf?
I mean this with the utmost seriousness. Just the bare truth, please.
At the risk of being ripped a new one, I'll be totally honest.
It would be difficult for me to date a person who is ts. I could handle androgyne, but probably not with someone taking hormones or having srs. That probably makes me an awful person. I have my reasons though, even if they aren't fair.
But when it comes down to it, I don't think I could be in a relationship where people would gawk and gossip and all that crap...that stems from some issues with the unfortunate people around me as I was growing up. The simplest way to put it would be to say that I'm tired of everyone thinking I'm a weirdo and thinking badly of me and a relationship with a (forgive me for putting it like this) 'normal' guy would help me achieve some level of acceptance in my relatives' eyes (and I don't even like them...it's a stupid, stupid complex that I wish I could get over).
Well, to be even more horrible, I could date someone as long as no one else knew. It's the being looked down on and talked about that I can't handle.
I wish I could be a better person, but this is one area where I can forgive myself for being a hypocrite.
Jaimey -
So it's not that you couldn't love the person, it's what loving them would mean (to society and such)? Am I right?
I understand. Thanks for your honesty. I really appreciate it.
Hi Nero,
Good question. I like the ones you ask...thought provoking and they force each of us to look deep and root around for an answer.
My answer is yes, I would date a transsexual. My orientation is toward feminine, thus an MtF or Androgyne would be just as attractive to me as a GG. And, if it is not too bold, a FtM with a mind like yours is very attractive too, but whiskers are a definite turn-off and I'm not crazy about body hair, so you would have to shave. :o Well...just being honest...
......L
Quote from: Laurry on June 23, 2008, 08:16:47 PM
Hi Nero,
Good question. I like the ones you ask...thought provoking and they force each of us to look deep and root around for an answer.
My answer is yes, I would date a transsexual. My orientation is toward feminine, thus an MtF or Androgyne would be just as attractive to me as a GG. And, if it is not too bold, a FtM with a mind like yours is very attractive too, but whiskers are a definite turn-off and I'm not crazy about body hair, so you would have to shave. :o Well...just being honest...
......L
:icon_redface: Thanks Laurry. I really needed to hear that about now.
Anything for you, darlin'
And here's a hug just because I like you and think I can get away with it. :icon_hug:
.......L
I don't care what gender/s or lack of gender a prospective partner is. All I care is that we love each other. If a partner is also gender variant, that can be a plus. I personally find people who are outside the binary attractive. As my grandmother used to say "vatever makes you happy"... ;) ;D
Z
QuoteWould you date someone who's gender is opposite their sex?
Already do.
QuoteWould you date someone who decided to take hormones and/or have surgery?
See above.
QuoteCould you love someone like this?
See #1.
^^
Short Answer: Sure.
I've dated boys and girls of all types, so physicality isn't really a big deal. Attraction for me comes from the person's attitude. Trans or not, if you're loving, compassionate, warm, and confident in yourself, then I'm all yours.
Nate's feeling mushy this evening. :)
i have dated some Trans women, and they can be just as lovable as any natal woman.
as for men, i have only dated genetic males, but that was probably only because FTM's do not seem to make themselves accessible much. i do not know that i have ever seen any FTM's at any club.
oh, sorry, i'm not an androgyne. nevermind!
Quote from: JC on June 23, 2008, 09:27:08 PM
QuoteWould you date someone who's gender is opposite their sex?
Already do.
<3 ^.^
I'd date mtfs, ftms or any other flavour of transsexual, at any stage of transition (providing they weren't too crazy :P )
Currently very happily in love with two such people ;D
Quote from: Andra on June 24, 2008, 04:18:47 AM
Quote from: JC on June 23, 2008, 09:27:08 PM
QuoteWould you date someone who's gender is opposite their sex?
Already do.
<3 ^.^
I'd date mtfs, ftms or any other flavour of transsexual, at any stage of transition (providing they weren't too crazy :P )
Currently very happily in love with two such people ;D
Hi Andra.
May I ask how their physical changes (surgery and/or HRT) impact you? Does it change your attraction to them at all?
I guess I'll take the bait even through I'm probably not an androgyne after all -- maybe I'm a transsexual. I'm also a bit confused. What do you mean by truth?
Well here goes I don't understand what you mean by truth, but I will try to answer this question.
Honestly I don't require all that much. If they were transitioning from one gender to another, as long as they are decently beautiful, thats about all I require. Of course I don't want to just date a Rei Ayanami. They need some sort of personality. I tend to like quirky people for some unknown reason.
In the highly unlikely situation that I would somehow date a ftm, they better be extremely quirky -- quirky as humanly possible!
In the much more likely situation that I would date a mtf, I'm not looking to date a very masculine person. They need to have some beauty. Furthermore they need to be quirky!
Let me sum it up now. Yes I would date someone who was transitioning. All that I really require is that they are pretty, and that they are quirky -- not much else besides that.
Now this is a good question. I hope some day I'll be able to answer it.
So far I've come to the tentative conclusion that in terms of sexuality I'm a straight woman. That is, my ideal sexual relationship would involve me, in a female body, with someone else whose body was the opposite sex to mine. I can make some compromises, like being in a heterosexual relationship as a 'male', or being in a lesbian relationship, but I think that's about as far as I can go. Mostly it's about anatomy, though, and not identity.
Relating this to the question here, I think I would have no problems with an FtM, although I think I'd have to become a bit more feminine as his transition progressed. Likewise, I'm pretty sure a post-op MtF partner would be no problem for me; in this case, coping with her early stages of transition might require some adjustments to my own gender.
Anyway, it's all highly hypothetical and I don't intend to make an empirical study. ;)
Nfr
Quote from: Seshatneferw on June 24, 2008, 10:04:55 AM
Anyway, it's all highly hypothetical and I don't intend to make an empirical study. ;)
Nfr
LOL!! I'm sure hearts have drooped all over the board upon reading that, Nfr. :laugh:
N~
Quote from: Nero on June 23, 2008, 07:46:19 PM
Jaimey -
So it's not that you couldn't love the person, it's what loving them would mean (to society and such)? Am I right?
I understand. Thanks for your honesty. I really appreciate it.
That's it. I feel bad about it though, like I'm a bad person because of it. But we'll just blame it on the awful people that I grew up around. In many ways, I'm still a child trying to earn approval...kind of ticks me off, really.
I could easily love anyone, but I couldn't always deal with the consequences.
Quote from: Jaimey on June 24, 2008, 07:46:24 PM
Quote from: Nero on June 23, 2008, 07:46:19 PM
Jaimey -
So it's not that you couldn't love the person, it's what loving them would mean (to society and such)? Am I right?
I understand. Thanks for your honesty. I really appreciate it.
That's it. I feel bad about it though, like I'm a bad person because of it. But we'll just blame it on the awful people that I grew up around. In many ways, I'm still a child trying to earn approval...kind of ticks me off, really.
I could easily love anyone, but I couldn't always deal with the consequences.
Understandable sweetie. It's hard. Like an interracial couple in the 60s or something. Not many would be able to handle that. All we as human beings want is acceptance. To belong. To not be hurt. That's basically what we want.
I know it's all I ever wanted. Jaimey - don't ever say you feel like a bad person! You're human. And you want and need what every human needs. It's instinct. And you've got balls for saying the truth. I admire that.
Oh crud. I didn't realize this was just for androgynes. Haha.
This one caught my eye and I had to answer because my friend and I were discussing this very subject today.
As a Heterosexual MtF TS, I would have no problem in dating an natal male or a FtM TS. I could probably fall in love with them if the chemistry was right. If we got along and were genuinely attracted to each other, it would not matter to me if they were in transition or not. It depends on how you treat one another that really matters. And who the flip cares what the world thinks anyway. Opinions are like butt holes, everyone has one and some even stink. Sorry for being crude.
Love,
Janet
Quote from: Nero on June 24, 2008, 08:19:42 PM
Understandable sweetie. It's hard. Like an interracial couple in the 60s or something. Not many would be able to handle that. All we as human beings want is acceptance. To belong. To not be hurt. That's basically what we want.
I know it's all I ever wanted. Jaimey - don't ever say you feel like a bad person! You're human. And you want and need what every human needs. It's instinct. And you've got balls for saying the truth. I admire that.
Aw. :icon_love: Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. You're a pretty amazing person yourself, my dear!
QuoteAnd you've got balls
I've got balls? *checks* :o Those are certainly new!!!
...I'm sorry. I couldn't help myself. >:D Oh, I need help... :laugh:
Quote from: Jaimey on June 24, 2008, 07:46:24 PM
That's it. I feel bad about it though, like I'm a bad person because of it. But we'll just blame it on the awful people that I grew up around. In many ways, I'm still a child trying to earn approval...kind of ticks me off, really.
I could easily love anyone, but I couldn't always deal with the consequences.
O, Jaimey, we are all a mixture of a lot of experience, not all of it positive, and a lot of likes and dislikes. I really don't see any need to blame anything on anyone.
Knowing that you may well not be able to "deal with the consequences" is actually a very good thing. You know, and are thus not likely to badly hurt or disappoint someone by simply 'hoping' you can bear the consequences of a relationship with them might bring with it.
I wish more of us could be that way. It'd prolly take away a good bit of pain from the world. "Know thyself" is a very wise suggestion from a fellow who apparently had a lot of prejudices and knew how to upset folk as well.
I admire your ability to know yourself and be open about what you know.
Hugs,
Nichole
Would you date someone who's gender is opposite their sex? Yeah. My gender's at least 50% opposite my sex. But I prefer to think my body is fairly androgynous, too.
Would you date someone who decided to take hormones and/or have surgery? Definite yes on the hormones, probably on the surgery--it wouldn't be a deal-breaker but I've never seen anyone body post-surgery, so I may be less attracted to it. I'm pretty much attracted to all body types, including the obese and the emaciated, but there are some I like better.
Could you love someone like this? Umm, duh. I already do--my best friend. I also find him attractive, but shhh! Don't tell anyone about that!
For those who are bi -
Your feelings on dating an ftm? Hot. Really, really hot. Know any my age and available? j/k and I hope saying that's not against rules.
And your feelings on dating an mtf? Also hot. Probably really, really hot. See, I was reading a discussion on another forum where the participants decided that you're either attracted to people who're the average of what you're used to or people who're exotic. MTF manages to combine two things I really like and am familiar with in an exotic way. Takes a second to adjust to it, but then we're cooking with fire. FTM doesn't really have that adjustment pause for me.
But, really, it's more about love than anything else. That's what's important to me and what I'm looking for. A lot of it has to do with personality, so of course there're plenty of transindividuals who don't fit my personality, but being openly transsexual is an attracting factor because of (a) the combination of different sexual/gender traits which sort of corresponds to androgyny, (b) the bravery and resilience of the person to take control of a bad situation, and (c) the unusualness/interest. I guess it's not fair to the less eye-catching majority, but they can find peacock feathers of their own!
I'm sexually attracted to women physically. I don't think it matters to me if they are transexual or not.
The stuff that will get me is the physical stuff. If my partner was a FtM and changed on the job as it were, I think I might lose my attraction for them. I don't know where the tipping point would be but I think it is there. We could still be the best of companions though. I would probably also be ok being with a pre-op MtF, depends on the person.
I've meet men that I have found attractive as they had this really feminine quality about them. I've also been attracted to some really staunch lesbians. I guess I like people a bit gender queer.
Quote from: Nichole on June 24, 2008, 10:16:53 PM
Knowing that you may well not be able to "deal with the consequences" is actually a very good thing. You know, and are thus not likely to badly hurt or disappoint someone by simply 'hoping' you can bear the consequences of a relationship with them might bring with it.
I'm more afraid of hurting someone else than I am of being hurt. It makes me sad to think that I've hurt someone. You all are so sweet. I was prepared for the worse (well, not from everyone, of course, but I was sure at least one or two people would be offended...). That makes me feel better...
Quote from: Lisbeth on June 25, 2008, 08:42:50 AM
Quote from: Jaimey on June 24, 2008, 09:58:18 PM
QuoteAnd you've got balls
I've got balls? *checks* :o Those are certainly new!!!
I had balls, and then my croquet set got left behind.
omg...if I'd been drinking anything, my computer would be a mess...
I'm not an androgyne, but whatever... I'd like to add my 2 cents as well!
I'm mtf but I'd date an ftm I believe... Maybe an Mtf. Who knows?
It really all depends on who they are...
I'm attracted to females who are look less fem than I feel - if they are more fem than i feel I just spend the time I am with them wishing I was more like them. I have some male friends who r fairly fem that i have been slightly attracted to but i would only pursue a relationship with a female body (TS or not) or a body that was not clearly just male or female. but personality is way more important than looks. I'd probably be able to fall in love with a femine male as long as the body wasn't overly manly
Would I date a transsexual?
I'm married to one.
I'll answer this hypothetically, since I'm happily married.
Yes, I would date a transsexual.
Being bi, the sex of a potential lover doesn't matter that much to me. Is the person kind? Is the person loving? That's what matters.
Physical appearance doesn't matter to be. If I were looking someone to be with, I would prefer them to be female. But it's really the personality that I am attracted to. If a guy had all the qualities I find admirable, I would have no hesitation in choosing him over someone more feminine.
hmm.... i think i figured myself out and qualify as androgyne. sex:female gender:male presentation:masculine. but theres more... idk. genderfuid escribes it i think. >_> anyways....
would i date a TS. yes. a MTF? probably. im usually not too much in to very feminine people. idk. i dont mind the body, but i just dont click with the uber feminines. preop? sure, why not? post? sure...? lol not tha big of a deal either way.
a FTM? most def. hawties IMO. (they have the cute factor) :P i tend towards the more masculine acting. preop chest? sure. post op chest? also sure. haha bottom surgury... depends. im realy not a fan of the phallo, but if i liked you, ofcourse i could get past it.
androgynes? also yes. lol im just not that picky about body. if i like you, i like you.
I would absolutely date a transsexual. I am drawn to the personality, the interior. The rest is all a happy. whatever it may be situation.
I probably would have no trouble dating another TS or Androgyne, but it would be pretty hard on us both having to deal with two sets of gender-identity issues :O
I'd probably be more drawn towards an FtM whether pre or post OP, but it all really depends. I know I'll always be attracted to someone, who regardless of external or internal gender, expresses masculine traits or behaviors though.
Quote from: Phate on August 13, 2008, 11:51:03 PM
I probably would have no trouble dating another TS or Androgyne, but it would be pretty hard on us both having to deal with two sets of gender-identity issues :O
I'd probably be more drawn towards an FtM whether pre or post OP, but it all really depends. I know I'll always be attracted to someone, who regardless of external or internal gender, expresses masculine traits or behaviors though.
So, mostly masculine individuals? that's cool.
i just like people dont matter what sort of people i like em if there intersting and have a kind nature that will do for me. so there gender would not stop me from dating them. love can be found in the most intersting places ive found.
Quote from: Nero on August 13, 2008, 11:58:07 PM
Quote from: Phate on August 13, 2008, 11:51:03 PM
I probably would have no trouble dating another TS or Androgyne, but it would be pretty hard on us both having to deal with two sets of gender-identity issues :O
I'd probably be more drawn towards an FtM whether pre or post OP, but it all really depends. I know I'll always be attracted to someone, who regardless of external or internal gender, expresses masculine traits or behaviors though.
So, mostly masculine individuals? that's cool.
Mostly, yeah, or else people who act more 'in the middle'.
Although I am not completely sure of who I am yet (probably a straight male with some sort of gender dysphoria) and I am in a very fulfilling relationship with a woman right now, I would love to date an MtF at any stage of transition as long as I found her attractive (hypothetically of course). In fact, I might even prefer that to a GG as far as pure sexual arousal goes. I've never ruled out guys and the same goes for FtM, but I've yet to find one male I was attracted to either physically or mentally.
Honestly, social constraints really don't bother me too much. I'm sure I would struggle, especially with my shyness and insecurities, but I think I could manage. I'm sort of a hopeless romantic I suppose. Even though I have my dreams of a normal family etc, I am pretty sure I would be more than willing to sacrifice those if I found someone special and that was the only way to have them. I think dreams are good, but you can't be too disappointed when your life doesn't turn out exactly like you planned when you were 12.
Are they going to put out? Make me breakfast in the morning? Forget my name the next day? OK.
Quote from: tekla on August 15, 2008, 11:07:22 PM
Are they going to put out? Make me breakfast in the morning? Forget my name the next day? OK.
*Fries up a batch of eggs, sausage and bacon.*
Sorry...uhm..what was your name? *scratches head* Te...tek...something..?
Quote from: Nero on June 23, 2008, 07:01:05 PM
Would you date someone who's gender is opposite their sex?
Would you date someone who decided to take hormones and/or have surgery?
Could you love someone like this?
Yes to all three, with no hesitation.
Quote from: Nero on June 23, 2008, 07:01:05 PM
For those who like men (or male bodies) -
Your feelings about dating an ftm?
And your feelings about dating an mtf?
I've met some very attractive trans guys. Although not *un*attracted, I'm less attracted to women and so attraction to a trans woman would be less likely.
Question is, would a trans person necessarily want to date a 3rd-gendered individual? If all a guy wants to do is settle down and live the Mr. Joe Average life he should have had in the first place, would he want to associate with a half-pint of half-n-half like
moi? ;)
Quote from: Lokaeign on August 17, 2008, 07:12:11 AM
Question is, would a trans person necessarily want to date a 3rd-gendered individual? If all a guy wants to do is settle down and live the Mr. Joe Average life he should have had in the first place, would he want to associate with a half-pint of half-n-half like moi? ;)
Some of us would.
Um, this is slightly embarrassing, and risks being horrible person who fetishises transfolk, but I really like those pec scars that some guys have. They seem to sort of accentuate the pectorals. I think they're really handsome. *runs away blushing*
Quote from: Lokaeign on August 22, 2008, 07:02:20 PM
Um, this is slightly embarrassing, and risks being horrible person who fetishises transfolk, but I really like those pec scars that some guys have. They seem to sort of accentuate the pectorals. I think they're really handsome. *runs away blushing*
That doesn't make you a horrible person. I haven't seen enough of em to get a good idea of what you are talking about though.
Quote from: Nero on August 13, 2008, 11:58:07 PM
Quote from: Phate on August 13, 2008, 11:51:03 PM
I probably would have no trouble dating another TS or Androgyne, but it would be pretty hard on us both having to deal with two sets of gender-identity issues :O
I'd probably be more drawn towards an FtM whether pre or post OP, but it all really depends. I know I'll always be attracted to someone, who regardless of external or internal gender, expresses masculine traits or behaviors though.
So, mostly masculine individuals? that's cool.
Thats kinda what I need... -_-
Thats an interesting thought ^^
My last two crushes were masculine girls, one in beahviour and looks and the other one in behaviour...hmmm
The one I really like is a tomboy. A bit beyond tomboy.
... This is killing me.
For the past 6 months I've been in a relationship with a M-to-F transsexual. At first she expressed interest in getting SRS, but then decided against it because she didn't appeal to the results. Personally, I've never been happier with anyone else. Gender identity has nothing to do with a successful relationship.
I date women (well not anymore since I have had a partner for several years), women are women to me if I fell for a women and found out she was trans I could care less shes still a women what she was before doesn't matter to me. If I knew before I dated her she was trans same thing, shes a women now and I am dating her now not in the past.
Myles
Well said Myles...a man of my heart :-*
I don't mind dating a transsexual. I don't want to sound pathetic, but it's the soul that matters.
Quote from: Stranger on September 17, 2008, 02:08:34 PM
I don't mind dating a transsexual. I don't want to sound pathetic, but it's the soul that matters.
That doesn't sound pathetic at all, in fact many here would agree with you. Some people, however, cannot always transcend the physical barriers of what they are or are not attracted to. I don't think there is anything wrong with that either.
I have yet to date or fall in love with someone of my same bodily gender, but I'd never say it couldn't happen. I might be a young person, but I've seen and experienced things that have brought me to the point where I will never rule anything out; anything could happen.
As someone who is attracted only to women, I wouldn't be comfortable dating an FTM, because I would not be dating a woman. Period.
However, I would be comfortable dating an FTM.
Who I love isn't defined by their gender. I can't control who I fall for.
Would you date someone who's gender is opposite their sex?
Would you date someone who decided to take hormones and/or have surgery?
Could you love someone like this?
For those who like men (or male bodies) -
Your feelings about dating an ftm?
And your feelings about dating an mtf?
For those who like women (or female bodies) -
Your feelings on dating an ftm?
Or an mtf?
For those who are bi -
Your feelings on dating an ftm?
And your feelings on dating an mtf?
Well yes. I married one actually lol! If I had to put myself into a category I would say i'm a lesbian as that's the most uncomplicated thing. She is a mtf and I love her as a person. That's the bottom line. She could decide down the road that she wanted to be male or continue being female and get the operation or what have you I would still love her and support her. She is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with and I don't care what people say. If they have a problem with her they better come through me first. *smirk protective* lol. But it's true. She's my love, my best friend, my wife, my support, my other half. I mean when I first saw her for the very first time I knew I loved her. It's just her. I love her like I love no other person in the world and I would love her no matter what. We are who we are and we are who we are with each other. And that's ok.
*smiles, with a tear......
*sniffle...
Thank you Love!......
I love you!
Mmmm *kiss*
-Sara
For me I would date a MTF Ts if they where completely female. I wouldnt go the other FTM cause then they would be a man and in my oppion would make me gay, to witch I'm not. Now I know your saying MTF you would date but not the other way. Here's how I feel about this. If the person was born a male and became a complete female then I would consider them a female. Now if they still had there man part's and still looked like a female I wouldn't date them just cause they are still male. My feeling's is that what trully define's are sex is a genitalia not what are body's look like. Just my feeling's.
Yes, I would date someone whose gender is opposite their sex. Hormones, surgery, glued-on bits, or lack of bits are all fine by me.
I'm more drawn to those in the middle, rather than really girly girls or guyly guys. But my middle is pretty broad.
-- Luke
/me thinks for a millisecond...
yes, any day of the week
There is something about most sis males that makes me uncomfortable so i consider myself only attracted to females but I've had loving feelings toward Trans ladies an I've recently fallen for a non binary non transitioning F2M I haven't told him of my feelings yet I know he has previously IDed as a Lesbian so he may not find me attractive if he does I wouldn't mind if he transitioned.
Lately I've been thinking that transsexuals are the only people I can be properly attracted to. The pretty ones are prettier than any birth girl could ever be imo, and I dunno, I get the impression they're the only person that I can simultaneously attracted to physically and identify with personally.
I'm afraid to though, because well, I never tell people about my own gender disassociation because of fear of ostracism and I'm pretty sure that dating a ts girl would approximate the same thing. Which makes me feel dumb.
Yes, I would date a transperson.
I am already happily partnered, but if I wasn't I would have no problem with dating either a FtM or a MtF transsexual. As others have said, it's not a person's bits I'm attracted to, it's the person.
Actually, the biggest potential problem I can see with dating another trans-person is that we tend to collectively be a depressive lot, so there could be some possibility of feeding off each other's negativity.
Quote from: KYLYKaHYT on October 10, 2009, 05:15:49 AM
I am already happily partnered, but if I wasn't I would have no problem with dating either a FtM or a MtF transsexual. As others have said, it's not a person's bits I'm attracted to, it's the person.
Actually, the biggest potential problem I can see with dating another trans-person is that we tend to collectively be a depressive lot, so there could be some possibility of feeding off each other's negativity.
I am sorry if i'm intruding or interrupting, but just wanted to say that I like what you had to say ^ up there. Its sad that transpeople get all the depression and it seems that no on else gets it. Well that's my experience with depression.
I'm not sure. I've never known a TS person in real life and I've never dated anyone, so it's hard for me to give you much of an answer. I think if I knew they were before the relationship started, it would be much easier for me personally. If I didn't, then I would hope that my reaction would be one of acceptance.
Quote from: childofwinter on October 19, 2009, 06:04:23 PM
I'm not sure. I've never known a TS person in real life and I've never dated anyone, so it's hard for me to give you much of an answer. I think if I knew they were before the relationship started, it would be much easier for me personally. If I didn't, then I would hope that my reaction would be one of acceptance.
You seem very kindhearted. TS people *need* to be accepted. I like what you had to say here.
my partner is an FTM and I love him so very much so yeah I would date a transexual...transsexuals are awesome!
I generally find myself attracted to GGs MtFs and androgynes, most guys and FtMs dont cut it for me. I find myself in a bit of a situation with dating because whilst the female form is most pleasing to my eyes, when it comes to intamacy i want to be held and looked after by a big strong man. I am a quite submissive person so although the female form is what i desire when i get there it is often hard to give or recieve satisfaction when i feel like im being pushed into a masculine dominant roll.
Quote from: Jaimey on June 23, 2008, 07:37:44 PM
At the risk of being ripped a new one, I'll be totally honest.
It would be difficult for me to date a person who is ts. I could handle androgyne, but probably not with someone taking hormones or having srs. That probably makes me an awful person. I have my reasons though, even if they aren't fair.
But when it comes down to it, I don't think I could be in a relationship where people would gawk and gossip and all that crap...that stems from some issues with the unfortunate people around me as I was growing up. The simplest way to put it would be to say that I'm tired of everyone thinking I'm a weirdo and thinking badly of me and a relationship with a (forgive me for putting it like this) 'normal' guy would help me achieve some level of acceptance in my relatives' eyes (and I don't even like them...it's a stupid, stupid complex that I wish I could get over).
Well, to be even more horrible, I could date someone as long as no one else knew. It's the being looked down on and talked about that I can't handle.
I wish I could be a better person, but this is one area where I can forgive myself for being a hypocrite.
:O you must never been in love my dear??? ::)
When your in love, all that stuff don't matter!
Staying in a box of what you prefer could keep you from finding true love.
Sorry, can I also butt in here? Please, Nero?
Okay, while I'm waiting for your answer, I'll just go ahead and add my couple cents. :) luv ya!
I identify as MtF and still very early on (pre-HRT, pre-OP) and I have always been physically attracted to women (GGs) and have, until recently, only considered dating GGs - albeit very, very unsuccessfully. Now, I am at a point where I'm really not interested in dating anyone, mostly because, like Jaimie, I'm more afraid of hurting someone else than myself. I have never thought of, or considered dating a guy a remote possibility.
Having said that, I think the only thing that could change my mind is if I met an MtF, Androgyne, or even an FtM who I really liked, I very well could change my mind. I think I would feel that someone else who is TG/TS would be more understanding of what I am going through and could grow along with. That and I have seen quite a few really hot women. As for FtM, I think I could probably make some exceptions to my no interest in males. Now, once I'm post-op, I could likely see myself easily being open to being with a guy (GM or FtM) probably more likely FtM than GM. I would even be open to Androgyne - I have known a few over the years and they have pretty universally been super nice peeps. I guess it all comes down to, like many have said, what is on the inside, if there is chemistry. Looks do count a lot to me, but you could look stunning (I'm more attracted to a MaryAnne type over Ginger) but if you don't have a personality or can't hold my interest, then looks are nothing.
I hope I made some kind of sense here (I'm getting tired).
Deanna
I am so glad you asked this question as I've been thinking about it a lot lately (read: obsessing!). My answer is a definite YES! for MtF and a 'maybe' to FtM.
I'm sexually attracted to more feminine individuals and have always been attracted to MtF's but for some reason thought I didn't stand a chance as a female. I'm also attracted to feminine men and boi's but have a thing for boobs (I like them). Personality-wise I'm fairly passive but sexually I'm aggressive and my perfect partner would compliment me (so a more aggressive personality but sub sexually). I would love to have a relationship with a MtF but have no idea how to go about it. I have met a few briefly and personality wise I liked some and not others, but they all identified as hetero. I've been afraid of admitting that I'm an 'admirer' for fear of being labeled a '->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<-' - which I think is a very demeaning term.
So thanks for asking :) and I'm glad I'm not alone!
Post Merge: October 26, 2009, 12:59:03 AM
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Quote from: NickSister on June 25, 2008, 05:36:36 PM
I'm sexually attracted to women physically. I don't think it matters to me if they are transexual or not.
The stuff that will get me is the physical stuff. If my partner was a FtM and changed on the job as it were, I think I might lose my attraction for them. I don't know where the tipping point would be but I think it is there. We could still be the best of companions though. I would probably also be ok being with a pre-op MtF, depends on the person.
I've meet men that I have found attractive as they had this really feminine quality about them. I've also been attracted to some really staunch lesbians. I guess I like people a bit gender queer.
Wow, you sound a lot like me! I think the FtM 'tipping point' for me would be losing the boobs :angel: and facial hair.
Post Merge: October 26, 2009, 02:10:29 AM
Quote from: Shii on October 15, 2008, 03:20:45 AM
Well yes. I married one actually lol! If I had to put myself into a category I would say i'm a lesbian as that's the most uncomplicated thing. She is a mtf and I love her as a person. That's the bottom line. She could decide down the road that she wanted to be male or continue being female and get the operation or what have you I would still love her and support her. She is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with and I don't care what people say. If they have a problem with her they better come through me first. *smirk protective* lol. But it's true. She's my love, my best friend, my wife, my support, my other half. I mean when I first saw her for the very first time I knew I loved her. It's just her. I love her like I love no other person in the world and I would love her no matter what. We are who we are and we are who we are with each other. And that's ok.
*sigh* That's beautiful... I'm a little jealous, lol :)
every person I've fallen for has had something about them that wasn't "normal" (mostly medical - cancer, blind,deaf,mental disorder more recently I've had feelings for a non transitioning F2M) about them weather i knew it or not when I realised i had feelings for them I wouldn't want to be with anyone who spent all there time making sure they passed
as long as I can see the beauty in them and they Love me as me then - nothing else matters
that seems to be the hard part finding someone who will love me as i am - the only thing thats stoped me having any (romantic) relationship is that no one has been willing to love me back :'(
if a ts will I'll give it a shot
I believe the world should be way more open-minded... people shouldn't care about gender or sex, but focus on personality. It shouldn't matter what the person is, but who they are. And it shouldn't matter what body parts they have or how they look physically, but how they act and treat you. If people wouldn't care so much about what other people think about their choices, they'd be happier. If people wouldn't worry so much about what society says is 'supposed to be', the world would be a much better place... just think about it... it makes sense not to be gender confined, but to open yourself up to tons of possibilities by being accepting of all kinds and forms of people. And look at them for who they are not what they are... 'labels are for cans, not people'!
Post Merge: October 26, 2009, 05:06:26 PM
Ever heard 'love knows no gender'... love and marriage should be between two people that genuinely love each other for who they are... and will always love them no matter what(unless they change drastically in a non-physical way)... it shouldn't be restricted to just between a 'man and woman' as society, or conservatives, say.
I can agree with u to some point. I say this cause if thing's where how you are saying then no one would be gay, no one would be hetro. My feeling's is if I married a female and she decided to transition I wouldn't leave her cause of it. If I truly cared for them. I would hope that my partner felt the same way. Of course until I was faced with that it would be really hard to say how I would act if it did happen. It's easy to you would do this or that until it happens!
Quote from: RoseBlossom on October 24, 2009, 10:47:04 AM
:O you must never been in love my dear??? ::)
When your in love, all that stuff don't matter!
Staying in a box of what you prefer could keep you from finding true love.
I'm a pretty cold person. I wouldn't allow myself to fall in love with someone who had a situation I couldn't deal with. :) I could probably date an ftm, but not an mtf...although that probably has more to do with the fact that I like guys than whether or not I could date a transsexual.
i would date a f/m sure im about whats in the heart in fact theres a reg here i happen to think is a hottie lol
jessica
I'm happily married, but if I was not so, sure, i'd consider a TS person. Why not?
Absolutely.
I'm attracted to more masculine people, and my current partner is genderqueer/ transmasculine. We're both planning on taking hormones in the near future, and I'm really excited about it for both myself and them.
Being both bisexual (omnisexual?) and androgyne , what was the question again? ;)
Quote from: Nero on June 23, 2008, 07:01:05 PM
Please, I don't want the popular or socially acceptable answer. I want the truth.
To break it down -
Would you date someone who's gender is opposite their sex?
Would you date someone who decided to take hormones and/or have surgery?
Could you love someone like this?
For those who like men (or male bodies) -
Your feelings about dating an ftm?
And your feelings about dating an mtf?
For those who like women (or female bodies) -
Your feelings on dating an ftm?
Or an mtf?
For those who are bi -
Your feelings on dating an ftm?
And your feelings on dating an mtf?
I mean this with the utmost seriousness. Just the bare truth, please.
The brutally honest, unidentified answer; No.
I have absolutely no issues with flings or sexual escapades - those just spark my interest.
However, when it comes to a relationship there's more added to the bowl than chocolate syrup and some cream.
There's self sacrifice, compromise and a truthful willingness to understand.
I can be a valuable friend; someone to theorise with over meanings of questions and answers, someone there to put
things in perspective, but I can't be the lover who wraps an arm around and says 'I understand how you feel, where you're coming from and what your wants and needs are'. I'm not building a sandcastle on the binary playground. If I claimed to it would be a lie, and if I claimed I knew how to then likewise. Hence, it would be unfair to meddle with the sandcastle of the person I love or to help them build it if for as far as I can sense: there is no sand.
Not too sure if any of the above truly makes sense, but I'll leave that as my two cents for now.
I'm not sure how much I'd really qualify as an androgyne, but I'm certainly closer to that than anything else.
Would you date someone who's gender is opposite their sex? Yes. Why, I have one in mind and he is awesome. :)
Would you date someone who decided to take hormones and/or have surgery? Yep. I would also date someone who decided to never medically transition at all.
Could you love someone like this? Definitely.
Your feelings about dating an ftm? Same as dating any other guy, except that we can ramble on about gender identity a whole lot more.
And your feelings about dating an mtf? Same as dating any other girl, etc, etc. My attraction is a bit more oriented toward men, though. It's possible a girl could win me over, but slightly less likely than somebody who identifies as male.
As far as androgyne/genderqueer/bigendered/any non-binary identity, if they caught my interest I'd pursue it, same as anyone else.
i'm a bi, leaning towards the area between andro n femme, n yes to all questions n i'd date an ftm. Nt mtf tho. I lean towards liking the musculinity rather than the feminity. Being brought up in a conservative straight world kinda affected wat i like. Otherwise i think i might go for the mtf too. Hope dat helps. =)
Oh Dear - this is where i lose patience, i'm afraid.....
Would i date another Human Being - TS or no?!! that's what it comes down to in the end. I wouldnt want to think that i was taking part in some weird, endless gender apartheid....
We love who we love, and that, as always, depends on who we 'click' with - the only issue is, how good are we at opening our hearts and lives to each other? If we dont get on - well, that too is down to the kinds of people we are....
Am i being simple here - ah well.....
Gender really isn't an especially dominant factor in attraction for me. I'm interested in people's presentation - fabulous hair, boots, piercings, DIY clothing - their interests and personality, their intelligence, their sense of adventure, their sensuality and magnetism. Gender is just one piece of all that, and much as it would like to, it doesn't get to occupy a special position on top of the heap.
Agreed - first and foremost, this thing that we do/are must be based on our awareness of our humanity, and our enjoyment of our diversity. That's why i hate the whole 'label' thing (TS, TG etc etc blah blah). I find that now i am aware of how diverse i am within myself, that, by my own lights, i can be who i want - and so can we all - Vive La Difference!!
Clare xxx