This topic might enrage some with the title or the things I will say.
I have seen some of the pictures on this site and some of the women there doesnt looj all that well (to my standards) but lets face it... the face or the body doesnt look like fitting a female.
Still, im admired that some of them even given their body circumstances and challenges can be actually happy and comfortable... Im jealous.
I have some problems with my body image (maybe its that I havent felt all ok lately) and I keep wondering how I truly look. Do I have the "Guy in Dress" syndrome? I mean do I look that bad? and then I dont realize I look that way and im eluding myself to feel comfortable?
I was looking my naked body in the mirror and I feel distress over my masculinized body... I simply hate it. I know there are other women who have bodies similar to mine or this its false and im just (again) trying to lie to myself ot avoid pain. Mostly I was looking at my pelvic area and im like... does it looks male or female or in the middle?
Well, honestly I would just love to have more auto acceptance like some of the persons here who face even more challenges than me. Sometimes it sucks to be a girl.
I know what you mean. Self-acceptance is definitely the key; even the most beautiful people in the world stress over their bodies and the ways that others perceive them. Some days I feel beautiful and some days I feel, well, not. If anyone knows any tricks, then I'd love to hear them myself, because it's a battle that I haven't completely won (but maybe it's the sort of thing that one never entirely overcomes?).
Lia
I don't know if you are including me in your observations or not. But I don't care. You want to know the secret. It is all about self acceptance and a good attitude.
If you feel beautiful, you are beautiful. And looks are not part of it. Look at women who are in the world. How many don't pass muster in your opinon. But they think that they are beautiful in their own right.
I may not be very pretty in some eyes, or have a good figure. But I am finally happy and that shows. And others see that. And that makes me pretty. And after all, I am the one that really counts.
Janet
HI
I seem to keep following Janet in my posts (Hi Hun). I agree it is acceptance.
What does anyone see in a mirror? A reverse reflection of something. How many gorgeous people look in a mirror and say " I can't cope with this look".
Roger Vandim (?) married to Bridget Bardo and to Ursula Andress made the statement on TV, They were both so unhappy by how they looked in the mirror they would not go out.
Go figure
Cindy James
From one Ex-bedbug to another,
You look simply MARVELOUS ;)
Always Love,
Heather Rose
i've always wondered about this as well... lately, i have become a little more confident (tho, i still don't get to go out much)... it is really hard to 'spread the confident vibe' around me so others will see me as female (i won't say "who i am" because i WANT to be female).
and, yes many here do have pass so well that i am also jelous ;') . i usually get compliments, but most of the time, i think they are trying to be nice.
now, on the topic of self-confidence. my question is that IF that is the case and concern. if we are just who we are.. why the elaborate process to even go further. ie why the hormones, corsets, makeup, or whatever things you do, etc? to look..... female?
I feel you on this one... I sometimes really hate those thoughts I get. It makes the prospect of going fulltime really really really scary...
Janet Lynn Let me just say your picture is absolutely beautiful. You look so vibrant and happy as well as extremely feminine. I only hope to someday be as confident, happy and maybe even beautiful. At least to myself.
Thank you Christine, that is a real ego booster.
As I have always said it is all about attitude. If you feel happy, you are happy. If you feel like a woman, you are a woman. If you feel you present to the world your true self, then you do present your true self.
You must feel that you are at your best, then you will be at your best.
Janet
confidence, self esteem, positive attitude, ...
and the impact it has on the way we cope with our gender issues ...
Trying to refine further, I believe in :
- living what is happening now, just now ! not in the past which is gone forever, not in the future which doesn't exist yet. It seems the only way to find inner peace, increased joy and more harmonious relationships (for those interested, I recommend to read the famous "the power of now" from Eckhart Tolle, (there are many other authors)
- love others like yourself. Meaning of course love others and be really welcoming to others, but meaning also love yourself; to do that you probably need to know yourself and truly love what you've got all the way ... which is, as we all know, a lot more difficult
since thousands of years, philosophers, spiritual and enlightened people (lately psycho guys joined too) have been searching and contributing in the awakening of people to their true life
Reading and feeling those precious works has helped me tremendously to cope so far with my gender issue; possibly, I worked hard on those deeper topics as a way to heal my gender dysphoria and find a deeper layer of myself where gender is no longer the main issue.
love from Francoise
edit - removed link
I'm going to rock the boat here. I have a real bad thing. I don't like being with trans people who don't pass. It comes from not wanting to be seen as trans if you get want I mean. I am female.
All that I do is as a female my work, leisure activities, church, 100% is lived and accepted as female. To join in with others that look like guys in a dress is a problem for me.
Also others that I know who still have, shall I say, more maleness than femaleness find getting work and social acceptance a real problem and live on social welfare. I do feel for them, I don't want to be judgemental but society is what it is. I'm a realist and I do get fed up with people who say others look great when obviously it may at best be OK.
I also understand that someone with gender dysphoria has no choice in how they look. You are lumbered with what nature has given you and you have to work with that. My problem I think is not wanting to be included with them in public. I know this may get me some flak but I do really feel for the 15 stone biker who has GID. I also don't want to appear elitist and seem unfeeling and I may not be explaining myself very well.
For me you see, I am female and my trans nature is just the medical thing in between. I am no longer trans in my mind and body. O yes some may say different and I will always be trans and I don't pass that well either, but as far as legal, work, and life I am female so for me I am 100% female.
I'm thinking I shouldn't post this now, lol. but here goes.
Stardust
I've lived my life as a female for 15 years now and counting. I started living my life as a female when I was 22 or 23 years old. There was no transition period for me. But, you know what? I'm a woman. Legally, I'm a woman. Physically, I'm a woman. Medically speaking, I'm a woman. Hormonally, I'm a woman. Who do I need to prove this too but myself?
Should I carry around my medical papers to prove that I'm a woman? Should I pull down my pants so that they see my genitalia? Should I show them my birth certificate and drivers license to prove that I'm not a man? The heck with what someone says. You don't need to surround yourself with people like this.
I don't care what someone sitting next to me thinks. Do I blend in? Do I look female enough to pass? Do they think I have big hands? Do they think I have big feet? Oh God, please don't let my cellphone ring and I have answer it in public! Look at all these people that look better than me, they all know about me. I don't pass well. I must have, "Guy in a Dress" syndrome. lol
These thoughts are not of someone that is confidence, of someone that is sure of themselves, of someone that loves themselves, or of someone that knows without a doubt that they are a woman. These thoughts come from a person that still wonders if they are a man or woman.
If your a woman, you don't need no one else to tell you, your woman. Let's not confuse body image with a lack of self confidence. There's a difference here. It's o.k. to look in that mirror on a daily basis and say, "You know what, I don't like the way my nose looks." vs. "You what what, I think my nose makes me look like a boy." Do you see the difference? I don't wake up thinking what body parts make me a man or woman. Nor, do I wake up wondering what someone else next to me is thinking. I don't care if they think I'm a man or woman. What matters is what I think I am. I'm woman, period and I have half my life to prove that I have lived my entire life as a woman regardless if someone at work, church sitting on a bus or sitting in a coffee house looks at me and says, "That's a man."
Are you a man or are you woman? Whichever decision you decide, start living like one and stop all this crazy talk about "Guy in a dress Syndrome."
Quote from: stardust on January 23, 2009, 02:38:00 PM
I'm going to rock the boat here. I have a real bad thing. I don't like being with trans people who don't pass. It comes from not wanting to be seen as trans if you get want I mean. I am female.
All that I do is as a female my work, leisure activities, church, 100% is lived and accepted as female. To join in with others that look like guys in a dress is a problem for me.
Thank you for being honest Stardust, I can see where you are coming from and why.
I don't think I could consider starting RLT unless I was achieving a high 90% from the outset.
I've still got a lot of work to do .....
Quote from: JasmineG on January 24, 2009, 08:09:54 AM
I've lived my life as a female for 15 years now and counting. I started living my life as a female when I was 22 or 23 years old. There was no transition period for me. But, you know what? I'm a woman. Legally, I'm a woman. Physically, I'm a woman. Medically speaking, I'm a woman. Hormonally, I'm a woman. Who do I need to prove this too but myself?
Should I carry around my medical papers to prove that I'm a woman? Should I pull down my pants so that they see my genitalia? Should I show them my birth certificate and drivers license to prove that I'm not a man? The heck with what someone says. You don't need to surround yourself with people like this.
I don't care what someone sitting next to me thinks. Do I blend in? Do I look female enough to pass? Do they think I have big hands? Do they think I have big feet? Oh God, please don't let my cellphone ring and I have answer it in public! Look at all these people that look better than me, they all know about me. I don't pass well. I must have, "Guy in a Dress" syndrome. lol
These thoughts are not of someone that is confidence, of someone that is sure of themselves, of someone that loves themselves, or of someone that knows without a doubt that they are a woman. These thoughts come from a person that still wonders if they are a man or woman.
If your a woman, you don't need no one else to tell you, your woman. Let's not confuse body image with a lack of self confidence. There's a difference here. It's o.k. to look in that mirror on a daily basis and say, "You know what, I don't like the way my nose looks." vs. "You what what, I think my nose makes me look like a boy." Do you see the difference? I don't wake up thinking what body parts make me a man or woman. Nor, do I wake up wondering what someone else next to me is thinking. I don't care if they think I'm a man or woman. What matters is what I think I am. I'm woman, period and I have half my life to prove that I have lived my entire life as a woman regardless if someone at work, church sitting on a bus or sitting in a coffee house looks at me and says, "That's a man."
Are you a man or are you woman? Whichever decision you decide, start living like one and stop all this crazy talk about "Guy in a dress Syndrome."
you go girl!
Quote from: stardust on January 23, 2009, 02:38:00 PM
I'm going to rock the boat here. I have a real bad thing. I don't like being with trans people who don't pass. It comes from not wanting to be seen as trans if you get want I mean. I am female.
All that I do is as a female my work, leisure activities, church, 100% is lived and accepted as female. To join in with others that look like guys in a dress is a problem for me.
Stardust ... I used to have that feeling too, to the point of paranoia. I used to cringe when I saw an unpassable TS or TV in the mall.
Guess I would still not take an "unpassable" TS friend to a bar or restaurant where I'm very well known, if only because I couldn't face the questions about who I was with and why, and the danger that it might cast doubts to them about my own gender.
Otherwise my self-confidence has reached a stage where I do go out with friends who don't pass and it doesn't worry me at all.
A TS woman in early transition, who lives just streets away from me, I've been out with a few times to a local pub. A guy once came up to us at our table and said to her "I followed you back from the loos, I think you're really brave and look really good !" ... he didn't even say a word to me as he would have seen me as a woman friend or partner of the "TV/TS" ...
Likewise the Trans-London Xmas meet was in a normal pub, and on arrival I chatted up a really cute guy at the bar. Guess he must have wondered when I then went off to join the bunch of "->-bleeped-<-s" in the far corner ... it still brings a smile to my face !
Sure I'm not embarrassed to be seen as trans by association as long as its not among people who I'm "stealth" with.
But I just have to respect the determination and bravery of women who transition knowing they'll never fully pass.
Laura x
Stardust ... I used to have that feeling too, to the point of paranoia. I used to cringe when I saw an unpassable TS or TV in the mall.
Guess I would still not take an "unpassable" TS friend to a bar or restaurant where I'm very well known, if only because I couldn't face the questions about who I was with and why, and the danger that it might cast doubts to them about my own gender.
Otherwise my self-confidence has reached a stage where I do go out with friends who don't pass and it doesn't worry me at all.
Laura, I think you hit the nail on the head for me and I suppose I will have the confidence in myself to not bother about what others look like one day.
I have only been RLT since last July 2008. It is about how you view yourself I know, thanks. I still don't know even if I'd walk into a strange bar with a friend who doesn't pass that well.
A few weeks ago I was shopping with a friend and a comment was made about them from passers by and I felt for her, so its not that I don't shun my friend as I want to help them, it just shakes my confidence (What do they think about me sort of thing).
Stardust
Someone said it before: "Self Acceptance"
After years of agonizing over it; I don't care too much what other think. That's what hurt me the most in my life.
Quiet Defiance gets me through the day when i have that feeling of "being a guy in dress".
Then i just Smile and BE the best Transssexual i can be at that moment!
Hugs, hon your beautiful!!!!!
A Forum in the U.K wouldn't be able to handle a thread like this one and it would probably be met with a backlash and a possible ban of the thread starter..
I'm glad this thread has been taken so well. There are a lot of people in the situation mentioned and it's usually down to genetic make up, the amount of exposure to testoterone and physical size etc. If I see this type of person I have sometimes felt uncomfortable but I have to remember it's not their fault and they may not have the resourses to recieve the help they need.
Quote from: Naturally Blonde on January 26, 2009, 05:38:39 AM
A Forum in the U.K wouldn't be able to handle a thread like this one and it would probably be met with a backlash and a possible ban of the thread starter..
I'm glad this thread has been taken so well. There are a lot of people in the situation mentioned and it's usually down to genetic make up, the amount of exposure to testoterone and physical size etc. If I see this type of person I have sometimes felt uncomfortable but I have to remember it's not their fault and they may not have the resourses to recieve the help they need.
I agree NB, Susan's is great about 90% of the time and not to much upset from others. We can express ourselves within the boundaries of compassion and sisterhood. I do have a concern too coming from the UK particularly with resources and procedures. These are down to a lottery post code of where you live. Some PCT with fund some things others will not. I think it should be down to the extent of work needed being done on an individual basis. I know the NHS is strapped for cash and I am going to be controversial again. So much is spent on illness brought on by bad diet, drink and smoking and yet we didn't ask to have GID who would. Millions are spent on the treatment of the the things mentioned and yet some sex change procedures are not seen as necessary. I truly believe FFS should be added to the list as more people see your face and make an assumption than see what's in your pants.
I look at my face sometimes and think, "goodness if only I could afford to have my chin and nose done." Not a chance at the moment, lol. I can easlity get depressed and judgemental of my looks even though others think I'm silly and pass well. We all want peace and acceptance and self acceptance. Part of the self acceptance is being accepted by others for who you are instead of a guy in a dress.
Anyway better go before I get even more controversial, lol.
Thanks to Susan's place and this thread
Stardust
All I can really say about this, is that the subject title is meaningless. If you are female, no matter how you look, then you aren't a guy in anything.
It isn't self-belief. It isn't self-acceptance. It's the truth.
Don't think it, don't believe it, know it. And when you can do that, much of the heartache disappears. For others to accept you, you have to accept yourself. Otherwise you're substituting one lie for another.
Femininity and 'passing' is, in my opinion, largely dependant on who you're asking, and the truly beautiful people are the ones whose beauty comes from inside. Don't mistake shallowness and vanity for wisdom. People's opinions are just that. Who they think you are is coloured by their own values and how they see the world. You cannot control that, no matter how much money you spend and how long you take to make yourself up.
If you spent $10,000,000 and wound up with the body of a supermodel... all it would take was one person in the street who thinks that all supermodels look like men... and you'd be read faster than the Big Issue in a rainstorm. Would that be because, dispite all the cash, you weren't enough of a woman? No, it would be because another person's idea of what looks masculine is pushed upon you.
Know yourself. Be yourself. Believe in yourself. That's all you can do, and that's all you need to do.
Quote from: Nero on January 24, 2009, 09:57:59 AM
Quote from: JasmineG on January 24, 2009, 08:09:54 AM
I've lived my life as a female for 15 years now and counting. I started living my life as a female when I was 22 or 23 years old. There was no transition period for me. But, you know what? I'm a woman. Legally, I'm a woman. Physically, I'm a woman. Medically speaking, I'm a woman. Hormonally, I'm a woman. Who do I need to prove this too but myself?
Should I carry around my medical papers to prove that I'm a woman? Should I pull down my pants so that they see my genitalia? Should I show them my birth certificate and drivers license to prove that I'm not a man? The heck with what someone says. You don't need to surround yourself with people like this.
I don't care what someone sitting next to me thinks. Do I blend in? Do I look female enough to pass? Do they think I have big hands? Do they think I have big feet? Oh God, please don't let my cellphone ring and I have answer it in public! Look at all these people that look better than me, they all know about me. I don't pass well. I must have, "Guy in a Dress" syndrome. lol
These thoughts are not of someone that is confidence, of someone that is sure of themselves, of someone that loves themselves, or of someone that knows without a doubt that they are a woman. These thoughts come from a person that still wonders if they are a man or woman.
If your a woman, you don't need no one else to tell you, your woman. Let's not confuse body image with a lack of self confidence. There's a difference here. It's o.k. to look in that mirror on a daily basis and say, "You know what, I don't like the way my nose looks." vs. "You what what, I think my nose makes me look like a boy." Do you see the difference? I don't wake up thinking what body parts make me a man or woman. Nor, do I wake up wondering what someone else next to me is thinking. I don't care if they think I'm a man or woman. What matters is what I think I am. I'm woman, period and I have half my life to prove that I have lived my entire life as a woman regardless if someone at work, church sitting on a bus or sitting in a coffee house looks at me and says, "That's a man."
Are you a man or are you woman? Whichever decision you decide, start living like one and stop all this crazy talk about "Guy in a dress Syndrome."
you go girl!
What do I think?...I think I'm a woman, how do I feel?...I feel Like a woman, how do I act?...I'm not acting,
How do I look?...Well I guess I'm glad I don't wear dresses. ;D
Ok, I have worn skirts :P
Quote from: stardust on January 23, 2009, 02:38:00 PM
I'm going to rock the boat here. I have a real bad thing. I don't like being with trans people who don't pass. It comes from not wanting to be seen as trans if you get want I mean. I am female.
All that I do is as a female my work, leisure activities, church, 100% is lived and accepted as female. To join in with others that look like guys in a dress is a problem for me.
Also others that I know who still have, shall I say, more maleness than femaleness find getting work and social acceptance a real problem and live on social welfare. I do feel for them, I don't want to be judgemental but society is what it is. I'm a realist and I do get fed up with people who say others look great when obviously it may at best be OK.
I also understand that someone with gender dysphoria has no choice in how they look. You are lumbered with what nature has given you and you have to work with that. My problem I think is not wanting to be included with them in public. I know this may get me some flak but I do really feel for the 15 stone biker who has GID. I also don't want to appear elitist and seem unfeeling and I may not be explaining myself very well.
For me you see, I am female and my trans nature is just the medical thing in between. I am no longer trans in my mind and body. O yes some may say different and I will always be trans and I don't pass that well either, but as far as legal, work, and life I am female so for me I am 100% female.
I'm thinking I shouldn't post this now, lol. but here goes.
Stardust
An interesting post. If you are a genetic female and wouldn't ever be seen out with a obviously masculine looking transsexual why do you come into a transsexual forum?
Also interesting is that while scanning through the posts I actually thought you were a transsexual from your avatar photograph. I think you need to look at yourself before making those kind of statements.
I agree with you that we shouldn't build someone up with false compliments if they need help in whatever capacity and I have been in trouble myself for providing an honest answer to someone's criteria instead of a false one.
But you seem to be critical of anyone who suffers from gender dysphoria or is intersexed or anything that is not up to your 100% female standard regardless if they look like a bloke or an absolute stunning babe.
Some genetic females are bigoted against transexuals for various reasons but I've been lucky in that most females I know as friends have no idea I'm transsexual. If they did it is possible they could also adopt a similar attitude to your own.
By the way I don't ever wear dresses but I am still seen as a normal female. I think stereotyping is a dangerous thing..
well I have no clue where I fit in these standards and honestly I don't want to know if I am as is stated a guy in a dress (although I don't wear dresses often at all) by others standards that is fine with me and if an elitest doesn't want to associate with me that is great I will hang out with my sister GIDs and we will have a good time amoungst ourselves. If however I don't qualify as someone with guy in dress syndrome by your standards please make an exception in your standards for me and just drop me under that term and me and my sisters will still hang out and have fun! I personally don't understand the elitest attitude as it says under my picture I am a sister to anyone who needs one and i will be a sister to anyone who wants one that includes any of my trans sisters any trans brother and any sibling out there who fits anywhere in between our outside any of these definitions!
[/quote]
An interesting post. If you are a genetic female and wouldn't ever be seen out with a obviously masculine looking transsexual why do you come into a transsexual forum?
Also interesting is that while scanning through the posts I actually thought you were a transsexual from your avatar photograph. I think you need to look at yourself before making those kind of statements.
Sorry Naturally Blonde if I offended you, there was no intention, I'm really gutted now about my pic, I'm now going to get some FFS, lol.
But the reason for the post was to highlight my problem of being identified as trans. Being with people that don't pass that well (I suppose now I am included in that, lol) worries me because I don't identify as such and I don't want to be seen as such. That's my point. I am female from start to finish even though I was born with a male body defect, so my mtf is merely a medical condition no different from any other medical condition that needs medical intervention.
luv
Stardust
Quote from: stardust on January 30, 2009, 03:52:30 AM
Sorry Naturally Blonde if I offended you, there was no intention, I'm really gutted now about my pic, I'm now going to get some FFS, lol.
But the reason for the post was to highlight my problem of being identified as trans. Being with people that don't pass that well (I suppose now I am included in that, lol) worries me because I don't identify as such and I don't want to be seen as such. That's my point. I am female from start to finish even though I was born with a male body defect, so my mtf is merely a medical condition no different from any other medical condition that needs medical intervention.
luv
Stardust
You have every right to decied how you want to be seen and you have every right to choose how to live. The idea that some post-ops and some of those who have come to the point of passing having this fear of being seen with people who do not pass is kinnda scary it seems in alot of ways that once these goals are reached these people who were once discrimated against and made to feel as less than people pass then into "normal" society and then use that status to become just as bigoted and uncaring as the people who dicrimated against them. It really seems as though for some the whole goal to transisition is to become one of the ruling class so they can use there new status to look down on others as they themselves where once looked down upon. When this happens doesn't that seem to send a message that it is ok that main stream society shuns us because if people who were once in the very same position cannot be understanding and empathetic then how could we ever expect mainstream society to show those traits. In choosing to behave like those that have hurt us couldn't it be said that we show that it is ok that they hurt us and wouldn't we be condoning the idea that society is right to persecute us all along? can we really expect to defete discrimation against us in mainstream soceity if there is this discrimation even amongst ourselves?
[quote author=Jessie_Heart link=topic=53393.msg339607#msg339607
You have every right to decied how you want to be seen and you have every right to choose how to live. The idea that some post-ops and some of those who have come to the point of passing having this fear of being seen with people who do not pass is kinnda scary it seems in alot of ways that once these goals are reached these people who were once discrimated against and made to feel as less than people pass then into "normal" society and then use that status to become just as bigoted and uncaring as the people who dicrimated against them.
[/quote]
You have not got my point. I said the things I say from a personal point of view because of these self same bigoted views from society. For me I want to be feminine not just on the inside. I want to be feminine on the outside. To reach my goals and self expression of who I really am means to get rid of all my male traits, looks, etc. That's me, I'm not satisfied with looking like a "guy in a dress." That's my point. I'm not saying others are any less a person but I am not into the trans scene. I don't know why I'm here either. So I will as you say become normal and fade into the night. I wish all of you well and that your dreams come true. In closing my last post I will say, "be true to yourself."
Stardust
It is a shame to yet again see....
..that some people here do not bother to carefully read and understand a post before launching into unjustified personal attacks.
I'm sorry Stardust.... thank you for posting with honesty and understanding over the last year. :icon_bunch:
Chrissty
Quote from: Chrissty on January 30, 2009, 01:21:49 PM
It is a shame to yet again see....
..that some people here do not bother to carefully read and understand a post before launching into unjustified personal attacks.
I'm sorry Stardust.... thank you for posting with honesty and understanding over the last year. :icon_bunch:
Chrissty
I hope that my post did not come across as a personal attack on stardust the post that I made was actually a general one on the topic. the only reason I quoted the previous post was in address for my first line that she had every right to decied how she wanted to be seen and that she had every right to decied how to live, I then went on to use general broad terms to envolope the entire thread rather than to personally rail against one post or person. I now wish I would have made that more clear I wish I could ammend this error but it is evidentally too late maybe I should stop replying to post and just come here to read so this type of damage isn't caused again. my intention with my post in this thread and many others has been one of trying protect others feelings and to avoid discrimation against others in our community but it seems even though my intentions were good the old saying "the road to hell is paved with good intentions" seems to apply. I have no plans to leave the site and anyone who would like to talk with me can feel free to send me a private message but I think it may be best for me to keep my opinions to myself at least for awhile. I hope that in my lack of clarity with what I have said I have not caused others any damage if I have please understand that it was unintentional I hope that it does not stop anyone else from getting the support on this site that they need.
Everybody who posted here looks all woman to me.. They sound all woman to me and they are all woman to me.
However, i do have an issue with people who want to play and by that i mean they will not go all the way that they can go to be their best or they just want the thrill and not the work that goes with transitioning.
Quote from: Jessie_Heart on January 30, 2009, 01:43:52 PM
I hope that in my lack of clarity with what I have said I have not caused others any damage if I have please understand that it was unintentional I hope that it does not stop anyone else from getting the support on this site that they need.
Hi Jessie,
I hope Stardust gets to read your reply, I'm sure she would
appreciate it, and I also wasn't referring specifically to your post.
I'm sure she knew what she was writing was a little contentious,
but some of the best post here are.
Unfortunately she lost a job she trained 2 years for, because of
her GID, and had to move to another area to get work. Now
that she is getting established, I'm sure she is clearly worried
about the same thing happening again if she does not remain
stealth, hence her comments.
Please do not stop expressing your opinions, as that's what this
site is for....
....but please be a little more careful about how you present
your response, if you do not want it to be taken as personal.
Chrissty
QuoteHi Jessie,
I hope Stardust gets to read your reply, I'm sure she would
appreciate it, and I also wasn't referring specifically to your post.
I'm sure she knew what she was writing was a little contentious,
but some of the best post here are.
Unfortunately she lost a job she trained 2 years for, because of
her GID, and had to move to another area to get work. Now
that she is getting established, I'm sure she is clearly worried
about the same thing happening again if she does not remain
stealth, hence her comments.
Please do not stop expressing your opinions, as that's what this
site is for....
....but please be a little more careful about how you present
your response, if you do not want it to be taken as personal.
Chrissty
I know you weren't talking to me directly Chrissty but due to the fact that evidentally my post was the one that drove stardust away I knew I was at least one of the offending parties. I will continue to partisipate in the site but as you say the presentation of my post will in the future be more carefully thought out I know now I should have split the post into two or maybe even started a new topic to assure that it was clear that I was not personally attacking anyone. once again I would like to apoligize to everyone for being overzelous in stating my opinion!
Quote from: Jessie_Heart on January 30, 2009, 01:43:52 PM
I have no plans to leave the site and anyone who would like to talk with me can feel free to send me a private message but I think it may be best for me to keep my opinions to myself at least for awhile. I hope that in my lack of clarity with what I have said I have not caused others any damage if I have please understand that it was unintentional I hope that it does not stop anyone else from getting the support on this site that they need.
I hope you'll stick around Jessie. Your opinions are valid and valuable.
My thoughts on this topic, there is no one I wouldn't be seen with regardless of whether they "pass" as target gender or not. I look at the quality of the person, if they are a good person then I'm proud to be seen in public with them.
Z
Quote from: Zythyra on January 30, 2009, 03:04:50 PM
My thoughts on this topic, there is no one I wouldn't be seen with regardless of whether they "pass" as target gender or not. I look at the quality of the person, if they are a good person then I'm proud to be seen in public with them.
Z
I agree wholeheartedly with that statement, and it's my philosophy also.
Quote from: postoplesbian on January 30, 2009, 02:10:29 PM
Everybody who posted here looks all woman to me.. They sound all woman to me and they are all woman to me.
However, i do have an issue with people who want to play and by that i mean they will not go all the way that they can go to be their best or they just want the thrill and not the work that goes with transitioning.
As I said in the personal message to you I can appreciate this point of view the idea of encouraging someone to be the best they can be as far as appearance goes (to me though this would apply no matter what gender of classification someone was). I can see this approach as being something to uplift someone and not running them down for things that are out of thier control.
Post Merge: January 30, 2009, 03:18:27 PM
Quote from: Zythyra on January 30, 2009, 03:04:50 PM
Quote from: Jessie_Heart on January 30, 2009, 01:43:52 PM
I have no plans to leave the site and anyone who would like to talk with me can feel free to send me a private message but I think it may be best for me to keep my opinions to myself at least for awhile. I hope that in my lack of clarity with what I have said I have not caused others any damage if I have please understand that it was unintentional I hope that it does not stop anyone else from getting the support on this site that they need.
I hope you'll stick around Jessie. Your opinions are valid and valuable.
My thoughts on this topic, there is no one I wouldn't be seen with regardless of whether they "pass" as target gender or not. I look at the quality of the person, if they are a good person then I'm proud to be seen in public with them.
Z
I will be sticking around thanks I guess if the first sign of mistakes I make or trouble I have I run away I am not going to get very far in life (as far as transisition or anything else!).
I agree with the statment of being seen with anybody no matter thier passing status also. I have always avoided be a member of anything exclusive anyway "I would never be a part of any club that would have someone like me as a member!!"