This could go in the sexuality forum but I'm more interested in the androgyne perspective. I don't mind if it is shifted if that is considered more appropriate,
This has probably been talked about before, but do you see your sexual preference in relation to your physical body or gender?
I think sexuality is far more complex than can be encompased by a simple heterosexual, homosexual, asexual, animal lover kind of paradigm. Do these things even work for us? Do they actually work that well for anyone? You could draw into it a whole mess of physical, mental, presentation and behavioural preference.
I think in light of ourselves maybe it would be best to use descriptors like penis loving, vulva loving, female form dressed in male work clothes playing a trade worker and speaking in russian loving...
Quote from: Nicky on January 19, 2009, 06:31:30 PM
female form dressed in male work clothes playing a trade worker and speaking in russian loving...
Well, my sexuality is regrettably no where near that interesting.
I suppose I'm hetrosexual, but I do see it more in terms of "I like guys".
There was a thread somewhere long, long ago, maybe on this forum maybe not, which came up with alternatives to strait/gay/bi, using some gender prefixes for what one is attacted to... I don't remember the words or how they were constructed now... though rather different from "penis loving". :D
The King of the forest is bisexual. He is receiving women. However, by royal decree, men are currently banned from his chambers.
Quote from: Nero on January 19, 2009, 08:09:34 PM
The King of the forest is bisexual. He is receiving women. However, by royal decree, men are banned from his chambers.
Aw man!
Some terms
gynephilic: loving women
androphilic: loving men
Me: I generally say bi, although those inbetween would be quite fine with me.
I'm sexually attracted to people I find sexually attractive, regardless of the anatomy and whether or not they were born with it or had SRS to correct it.
Generally, I've always been attracted to men. I've never really been attracted to anyone sexually, though. I was reading up on it and it turns out that that actually makes me asexual, since asexual people can be non-sexually attracted to people and/or sexually responsive, it's just that they aren't sexually responsive to other people. So...yeah. Sexually asexual, emotionally heterosexual.
I'm attracted to the person, not the gender/s or lack thereof
Z
The binary Homo Hetro & Bi don't work for me because I'm neither male nor Female exclusivly
I'm romanticaly attracted to a wide range of people who are not typical male
& not so fem that I wish i was them (causing dysphoria)
my fanticies are basicly asexual
I'm about 48% Lesbian 4% Straight Male 48% asexual
Only willing to do anything One sided if its going to lead to kids, I want to be a parrent
I find sexual attraction to be very fluid. I might be attracted to someones certain style whether or not their male or female. I definately like boys who are a little girly, and girls who are a little tough like Shane on the L word.
Quote from: Zythyra on January 19, 2009, 11:09:56 PM
I'm attracted to the person, not the gender/s or lack thereof
Z
I go with this one.
That doesn't mean that either Z or I are easy. :laugh:
Quote from: Rebis on January 20, 2009, 07:29:40 PM
Quote from: Zythyra on January 19, 2009, 11:09:56 PM
I'm attracted to the person, not the gender/s or lack thereof
Z
I go with this one.
That doesn't mean that either Z or I are easy. :laugh:
What about physical stuff? Do you think of your preference in terms of your gender or your own physical being? e.g. some would say I am heterosexual cause I have a male body and like women, but does that make sense for a trans person?
Quote from: Rebis on January 20, 2009, 07:29:40 PM
That doesn't mean that either Z or I are easy. :laugh:
Only easy for the right person ;)
Quote from: Nicky on January 20, 2009, 07:53:03 PM
What about physical stuff? Do you think of your preference in terms of your gender or your own physical being? e.g. some would say I am heterosexual cause I have a male body and like women, but does that make sense for a trans person?
In terms of my gender. I have body perceived as male, my partner has body perceived as female, however we aren't a het couple at all.
Z
I would go with the "attracted to the person" position. What sex they are really doesn't matter.
Quote from: Blueflare on January 19, 2009, 08:04:52 PM
I suppose I'm hetrosexual, but I do see it more in terms of "I like guys".
That's me too. The only thing that makes me heterosexual is that I have a female body and I like men. But my liking men really isn't sexual attraction as much as emotional attraction. I've never had any emotional attraction to a woman/female bodied person.
Here's a question I have. In the movie "Gender Rebel", all three of the people they were observing were female bodied and liked women/female bodied people and they all exclusively used the word genderqueer. It seems to me that most of us on here who use androgyne (not all, by any means...or maybe it's just the most talkative of us) seem to like members of the opposite sex. ??? Just a random thought I had one day. (happens a lot...)
Quote from: Nicky on January 20, 2009, 07:53:03 PM
Quote from: Rebis on January 20, 2009, 07:29:40 PM
Quote from: Zythyra on January 19, 2009, 11:09:56 PM
I'm attracted to the person, not the gender/s or lack thereof
Z
I go with this one.
That doesn't mean that either Z or I are easy. :laugh:
What about physical stuff? Do you think of your preference in terms of your gender or your own physical being? e.g. some would say I am heterosexual cause I have a male body and like women, but does that make sense for a trans person?
I have been trying to reply to this off and on and am having trouble conceiving what I what to say.
I feel my preference in terms of my gender and not my physical being. Maybe there are no words for this. Maybe I'm afraid to come right out and say it but whichever sex I've been with, I tend to feel female. I don't have a lot of experience really. I have a feeling I'm more comfortable with female bodies, but then I never had the chance to openly and fully explore the male ones.
For some reason, i am a little uncomfortable writing this today. I want to be honest, though. For some reason I've been concerned that people I know in real life might come by here and read my stuff. I shouldn't care, though, and I don't want to start keeping it all in again.
I need to be able to express these things; like the fact that I'm fine being with any human I feel a connection with in a sensual way.
I do know that my motivation tends to be more emotional than physical.
Quote from: Jaimey on January 21, 2009, 11:09:07 PM
Quote from: Blueflare on January 19, 2009, 08:04:52 PM
I suppose I'm hetrosexual, but I do see it more in terms of "I like guys".
Here's a question I have. In the movie "Gender Rebel", all three of the people they were observing were female bodied and liked women/female bodied people and they all exclusively used the word genderqueer. It seems to me that most of us on here who use androgyne (not all, by any means...or maybe it's just the most talkative of us) seem to like members of the opposite sex. ??? Just a random thought I had one day. (happens a lot...)
I don't know if this will make much sense but me trying to fit in with other guys growing up (especially at an all boys school) was so hard, lonely and painfull that I was unable to connect with other guys. I did connect with a couple of guys who also didn't fit the mold perfectly but they did fit better then me I could see myself in a non sexual relationship with one of them he has said that he is "a bit of a girl" to me
but anyone who I can not connect with "normal males" mostly seem too painful to be around in a close way
Okay.
There's 'relationship' and there's 'sex'.
I much prefer relationships with female gendered people.
Sex (as if I ever do it anyway) is fine for me with any of the existing body types. Female, male, mixed. As long as there is either attraction or lust.
I've become asexual anyway.
I prefer female bodies, and I prefer female minds but I'm not against the man sort completely.
Quote from: Pica Pica on January 24, 2009, 04:39:52 AM
I'm not against the man sort completely.
I am. No more men for me. Though if I continue to date girls, they'll have to be less work than the last one. :P
You lazy bastard!
I like Pica person :o
hahaha......
Generally for me it is the person that counts. genitals are not the issue.
There are no Pica persons where I live :'( I live on an island far away......
Seriously, though, for me it is more about the spiritual, philosophical mind of a person that attracts me. Unfortunately a brain in a bottle just does not do for me though. I do need a bit more interaction.
..........okay i'll go back to lurking again, tell me when you bring out the tea and cake :)
You don't have to lurk.
Pica lives on an island too
Thanks Rebis ;D
I am working on building up my courage.......
I am so totally androgynous and as I have worked through this identity, I have also learned to understand my sexuality. I have been through the hetero thing, then the lesbian thing, then the gender dysphoria and not making sense in my mind of wanting to identify as male and then still liking men ???? Oh the naievity of youth, what wonderful confusion. Then understanding that as my gender identity is not important, to me, so my attraction to people is not based on their gender, but on thier basic humanity.
I enjoy this site and the insanity of it, the way people of Androgynland unite in humour, sincerity and understanding of each other.
Quote from: Rebis on January 23, 2009, 09:34:11 PM
Okay.
There's 'relationship' and there's 'sex'.
Sex (as if I ever do it anyway) is fine for me with any of the existing body types. Female, male, mixed. As long as there is either attraction or lust.
Exactly. In all honesty, I could have sex with anybody. I don't really have a preference. But I'd rather have sex with someone I can talk to...which means men for me. :D
Quote from: Barbara/Brandon on January 25, 2009, 02:36:22 PM
I am so totally androgynous and as I have worked through this identity,
got any tips?
Quote from: Pica Pica on January 25, 2009, 08:20:53 PM
Quote from: Barbara/Brandon on January 25, 2009, 02:36:22 PM
I am so totally androgynous and as I have worked through this identity,
got any tips?
No need to get all rude on the new guyrl ;) :D.
not sexual tips, i get those from ancient historical texts...song of songs anyone?
Ummmmm, I went to a gender therapist and spoke alot.....cried here and there....had a good laugh (at the thought of me wearing a bright pink caftan top with my very butch camoflage pants, with tourquoise sandals......well, it actually was not a thought, it is TRUE ;D)........long story short, my therapist felt I was truly at peace with myself, and sent me off into the wide world to just be me.
Generally I am asexual, as I am not a hunter and am totally inadequate in a social context, so find it difficult to initiate anything :o
My theory of androgyny is based on a persons mental capacity to surpass prejudices based on a binary world. To realise ones potential as a human and not be confined to the binary ideal. To accept that one indentifies as androgynous, not by the clothing you wear, or the gender you represent but where your heart and soul find peace and fulfillment. The basic art of just being human.
I am person first.........
Quote from: Barbara/Brandon on January 26, 2009, 11:58:32 AM
Ummmmm, I went to a gender therapist and spoke alot.....cried here and there....had a good laugh (at the thought of me wearing a bright pink caftan top with my very butch camoflage pants, with tourquoise sandals......well, it actually was not a thought, it is TRUE ;D)........long story short, my therapist felt I was truly at peace with myself, and sent me off into the wide world to just be me.
Generally I am asexual, as I am not a hunter and am totally inadequate in a social context, so find it difficult to initiate anything :o
My theory of androgyny is based on a persons mental capacity to surpass prejudices based on a binary world. To realise ones potential as a human and not be confined to the binary ideal. To accept that one indentifies as androgynous, not by the clothing you wear, or the gender you represent but where your heart and soul find peace and fulfillment. The basic art of just being human.
I am person first.........
I think I understand. But, there are times when I can't help but think things would be so much easier if I fit into one binary option or the other.
I think it is about trancending the binary, realising that your worth as a human is not based on what genitals you have.
How would you find meaning and purpose in your life if you had a terrible accident and lost your genitals? Your ability to procreate? Have sex, find pleasure?
Your DNA might determine your biological gender, but you, in your mind (I truly believe this is a headspace thing) can overcome that.
You are ultimately master of your gender identity. Be who you want to be.
Yes it is easier to be a specific gender, because there are blueprints for the binary. When you embrace androgyny, you walk in unchartered territory.....one could say we are the anarchists of gender identity.......but believe it or not, anarchists do have thier own subtle rules and norms for those wanting to identify.
Basically, I oscillate between self-acceptance and self-rejection. Usually, I'm okay with being outside of the binary. But, there are those times when I'm not so okay with it.
I don't think being androgyne is something you can just decide to become. It feels too innate to me, I had no choice in it. That terrified lost child that I was had no choice in this. If you can overcome it with your mind then why doesn't it work when they tell MtF's to man up? Why didn't it work when I tried to be a boy? Why would any of us suffer as much as we do in trying to fight our nature?
I am also very hesitant to think in terms of us being a kind of transcendent human because quite frankly it hurts too much. It also is not a funcitonal thing to be in my society. At best we are just another way of being. At worse we are broken handicap people. My internal gender is broken.
It is nice and romantic to think of ourselves as advanced humans but I really don't think we are.
Quote from: Nicky on January 26, 2009, 01:36:17 PM
I don't think being androgyne is something you can just decide to become. It feels too innate to me, I had no choice in it. That terrified lost child that I was had no choice in this. If you can overcome it with your mind then why doesn't it work when they tell MtF's to man up? Why didn't it work when I tried to be a boy? Why would any of us suffer as much as we do in trying to fight our nature?
I am also very hesitant to think in terms of us being a kind of transcendent human because quite frankly it hurts too much. It also is not a funcitonal thing to be in my society. At best we are just another way of being. At worse we are broken handicap people. My internal gender is broken.
It is nice and romantic to think of ourselves as advanced humans but I really don't think we are.
I agree it is innate. I didn't chose my gender identity or expression, it's just who I am. I'm simply wired this way. I also don't think we're inherently advanced as humans, anymore than anyone else. That said, I am inquisitive, and so I have tried to learn everything I can about others like myself, both currently and throughout history/herstory.
I do think we serve a function though, although I'm not sure exactly what ;D I'll let you know if I ever figure it out.
Z
I think we can serve a function too. But I'm not sure if that is function required by humans and we 'evolved' out of that need or a happy accident that our unique abilities meet those needs.
Whatever those needs may be, keep me posted ;)
I don't think an advanced human being would be anything like me
Quote from: Pica Pica on January 26, 2009, 03:31:16 PM
I don't think an advanced human being would be anything like me
But, you're "one of the world's beautiful people (obviously)!" ;)
Quote from: Nicky on January 26, 2009, 01:36:17 PM
It is nice and romantic to think of ourselves as advanced humans but I really don't think we are.
well, you just better wise up! :angel:
Post Merge: January 26, 2009, 06:38:03 PM
Quote from: Zythyra on January 26, 2009, 01:54:29 PM
I do think we serve a function though, although I'm not sure exactly what ;D I'll let you know if I ever figure it out.
Z
We are the Walrus
Quote from: Pica Pica on January 26, 2009, 03:31:16 PM
I don't think an advanced human being would be anything like me
Why? You are very introspective, smart, funny, witty...... perhaps down on yourself a little, but the other attributes remain.
Quote from: riven_one on January 27, 2009, 12:25:29 PM
Quote from: Pica Pica on January 26, 2009, 03:31:16 PM
I don't think an advanced human being would be anything like me
Why? You are very introspective, smart, funny, witty...... perhaps down on yourself a little, but the other attributes remain.
you need to see the video where Pica is explaining trash while eating. :laugh:
which one?
Quote from: Rebis on January 27, 2009, 03:57:06 PM
Quote from: riven_one on January 27, 2009, 12:25:29 PM
Quote from: Pica Pica on January 26, 2009, 03:31:16 PM
I don't think an advanced human being would be anything like me
Why? You are very introspective, smart, funny, witty...... perhaps down on yourself a little, but the other attributes remain.
you need to see the video where Pica is explaining trash while eating. :laugh:
hmm could it be...
this one?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0osWPtToG5U&feature=channel_page (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0osWPtToG5U&feature=channel_page)
yeah, that one is a bit stuff faceable, was a lovely day though, very much enjoyed it.
a lovely day and you looked lovely enjoying it. this is one of my favorites.
my other favorite is the grammar theory one.
There was a video which may have involved a black turtleneck and a mantle or a counter somewhere. The topic was the fact that the garbage of the past is sometimes incorporated into things of the present either through inspiring ideas or actual work to create a new thing from an old one.
I believe there was food involved. It had to be almost 2 years ago now.
yeah, about 2 nearly three years ago, before I even came to this site
Quote from: Rebis on January 26, 2009, 06:35:50 PM
We are the Walrus
My roommate's uncle was in Oingo Boingo. Random.
Quote from: Pica Pica on January 27, 2009, 07:55:28 PM
yeah, about 2 nearly three years ago, before I even came to this site
Goodness, have we all been here that long?? Who knows where the time goes?
Z
Quote from: Pica Pica on January 27, 2009, 07:55:28 PM
yeah, about 2 nearly three years ago, before I even came to this site
I think you posted the link soon after you got here. You had another video too. I can't remember of what.
I'm attracted to women. All that macho, sports, male bonding thing grosses me out.Ive been with the same woman forever and I'm so lucky she loves understands and respects me.
When I was younger and still trying to figure out where I fit I had a wonderful boyfriend, after we grew apart I realized I was attracted to him not because of his gender but his heart, soul and mind.