what's your usual reaction when you take the first glance at your self image?
Yes, I'm here for yet another day on the planet, still look like myself, oh there's another gray hair....
And what do you see, oh mystical person asking the question? ;)
Z
well seeing as i get a full body shot as i'm walking toward the mirror - my first reaction is always 'WOW that bitch's got great tits'.
" Oh look, another zit >:( "
I tend to see a boy when I look in the mirror, then I look closer. Fat face, fat chest, tiny arms, big ass/hips. (I don't so much worry about the butt--King Tut had big hips, too!) But when I focus on my eyes alone, the boy comes back. *I* come back.
"Ugh grooooaaaaaaaaaan" about sums it up.
Mina.
Anymore I see me, a woman. Still some problem areas, but they will be solved in time. Still have the shadow, but hopefully I will be able to restart laser/electro soon. Otherwise, I now seeing the woman within.
Janet
At first, I see me. Then I focus on all the imperfections. Small boobs, broad shoulders. Too much hair here. Too little hair there. etc.
But, then I back up from the mirror and look at my whole self and I smile because behind all of the perceived ugliness, I see a happy and grateful person.
Quote from: Katia on January 24, 2009, 10:31:33 AM
what's your usual reaction when you take the first glance at your self image?
Pain.
Quote from: Rebis on January 24, 2009, 01:41:06 PM
Quote from: Katia on January 24, 2009, 10:31:33 AM
what's your usual reaction when you take the first glance at your self image?
Pain.
aww Reebs. you're not still on that face thing are ya?
I see a woman who is very content and extremely thankful for everything she has in her life. In terms of physical appearance, I see a woman who is very happy with her natural beauty and finally at peace with herself except on those bad hair days when she wishes she were totally bald.
*giggle* ;D
tink :icon_chick:
Uh, with or without my shirt? It makes a big difference.
With the shirt, I'm often thinking, "Well, they don't show TOO much if I layer. And after I've been on T for a little while, my face will look better. I'm not that female in the mirror...I wish other people could see that."
Without the shirt...I used to avoid looking. I was freaked out about my top half. The last couple of weeks, though, I've been standing in front of the mirror and thinking, "Well, there they are, the hideous freakbags. I hate them. But my partner likes them. Can I get used to them to keep my partner happier? Or maybe just get a reduction and not lop them off entirely? Maybe if I look at the things for long enough, I'll start to like them."
I'm currently trying to explore genderqueer, but I really don't think that will turn into a reasonable option for me. I've always been Boy, even when I was desperately trying to fit in as a girl. Maybe I was just born in the wrong generation and have been too thoroughly tainted by the gender binary.
Quote from: Tink on January 24, 2009, 03:44:57 PM
In terms of physical appearance, I see a woman who is very happy with her natural beauty and finally at peace with herself except on those bad hair days when she wishes she were totally bald.
*giggle* ;D
tink :icon_chick:
Z never wishes she was bald... but that's because it's happening :(
Z
Quote from: Zythyra on January 24, 2009, 05:33:25 PM
Quote from: Tink on January 24, 2009, 03:44:57 PM
In terms of physical appearance, I see a woman who is very happy with her natural beauty and finally at peace with herself except on those bad hair days when she wishes she were totally bald.
*giggle* ;D
tink :icon_chick:
Z never wishes she was bald... but that's because it's happening :(
Z
Awww..*hugs* I didn't intend to be insensitive towards others with my silly coimments! :(
tink :icon_chick:
Quote from: Nero on January 24, 2009, 01:58:59 PM
Quote from: Rebis on January 24, 2009, 01:41:06 PM
Quote from: Katia on January 24, 2009, 10:31:33 AM
what's your usual reaction when you take the first glance at your self image?
Pain.
aww Reebs. you're not still on that face thing are ya?
Yep. Not as bad as before, though. I try to pretend it's someone else's ugly mug that I'm seeing.
Post Merge: January 24, 2009, 06:41:16 PM
Quote from: Arch on January 24, 2009, 04:09:58 PM
Maybe I was just born in the wrong generation and have been too thoroughly tainted by the gender binary.
Sounds like a title for a really heavy book. Or an excuse a defending attorney might use for their client - "Your honor. My client was tainted by the gender binary. You must take this into consideration."
Quote from: Tink on January 24, 2009, 06:31:09 PM
Awww..*hugs* I didn't intend to be insensitive towards others with my silly coimments! :(
tink :icon_chick:
I think it's wonderful you're happy and at peace! Maybe I'll get there someday too. And I wouldn't mind being bald if I looked like Sinead O'Connor ;D
Z
Quote from: Zythyra on January 24, 2009, 06:41:34 PM
Quote from: Tink on January 24, 2009, 06:31:09 PM
Awww..*hugs* I didn't intend to be insensitive towards others with my silly coimments! :(
tink :icon_chick:
I think it's wonderful you're happy and at peace! Maybe I'll get there someday too. And I wouldn't mind being bald if I looked like Sinead O'Connor ;D
Z
I can live with Sinead O'Connor bald, or that woman on the 1st star trek movie.
My past, present and future in life, moving at a constant, enlightening and fulfilling pace......thanks for asking.
Ah, the good old bathroom mirror trick huh? Well first I know I'm going to be in there for a while so I first turn up the tunes, I go into bathroom. Ever try to sing with a tooth brush in your mouth? Make faces at yourself? Stretch your ears out and wiggle them while sticking your tongue out? Do silly stuff with your hair? Or how about playing the air guitar and dancing around the bath room with spicky looking hair?
Get cleaned up, turn light off, turn tunes down, then go in the kitchen and smooch and huggles with Wing Walker. ;D
And I like to see our Tink happy so I dedicate this silly post of the year to her.
Cindy
Thank you for asking.
I am pleased with the 57 year old woman I see, especially because she is losing weight.
Wing Walker
Certified Reality Changer
Quote from: Zythyra on January 24, 2009, 12:08:14 PM
And what do you see, oh mystical person asking the question? ;)
Z
i see me. a confident, happy woman smiling back. i know that right now i'm where i want to be in life.
After a particularly good session with my therapist--and I had a great one last week, too--I was washing my hands in the bathroom today and looked up and saw my reflection. And thought, "Good boy. But you really need a haircut."
So sometimes, I guess, I see the boy within. Even if he IS a bit shaggy.
i see cheeks, large cheeks as far as the eye can see.
Oh wow, he's cute.
...
Oh wow, that's me...
No wonder all the girls keep on hitting on me!
Quote from: Pica Pica on January 26, 2009, 06:56:09 PM
i see cheeks, large cheeks as far as the eye can see.
hmm which cheeks we talking here?
my face you fiend. i reckon i'll sort of grow into my face, that i will suit looking older better.
Quote from: Pica Pica on January 26, 2009, 07:11:56 PM
my face you fiend. i reckon i'll sort of grow into my face, that i will suit looking older better.
you don't like your face now?
I see a girl who wishes she had started transition a lot earlier, before her beautiful hair thinned so badly.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fganjataz.com%2F01smileys%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2FloopyBlonde-blinking.gif&hash=4545ddf8251cf9c32ae6074d56e48bc34a755857)Kristi
It's alright, I see to like it more as time goes on...
when I was this
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fphotos-a.ak.fbcdn.net%2Fphotos-ak-sf2p%2Fv82%2F169%2F14%2F539766009%2Fn539766009_95112_7362.jpg&hash=9053ac8ec0be8d74661297a482baef6c8418a536)
I hated it.
but now i'm
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fphotos-f.ak.fbcdn.net%2Fphotos-ak-sf2p%2Fv30%2F240%2F29%2F222303926%2Fn222303926_152869_9984.jpg&hash=d9c768cb72ec15bacf595791a92e3b33e7d44953)
fine
aww who's that cute kid? that's surely not the pica.
Quote from: Katia on January 25, 2009, 09:34:48 AM
Quote from: Zythyra on January 24, 2009, 12:08:14 PM
And what do you see, oh mystical person asking the question? ;)
Z
i see me. a confident, happy woman smiling back. i know that right now i'm where i want to be in life.
Can't ask for anything better than that!
Quote from: Kristi on January 26, 2009, 07:21:22 PM
I see a girl who wishes she had started transition a lot earlier, before her beautiful hair thinned so badly.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fganjataz.com%2F01smileys%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2FloopyBlonde-blinking.gif&hash=4545ddf8251cf9c32ae6074d56e48bc34a755857)Kristi
I have the same issue re hair
Z
Quote from: Nero on January 24, 2009, 12:11:08 PM
well seeing as i get a full body shot as i'm walking toward the mirror - my first reaction is always 'WOW that bitch's got great tits'.
I love you Nero! :) Made me spit my coke out! (Yeah and I am at work) lol :P
I see a man.. a young looking man.. normally first words to my head is "damn my hair looks
crap, damn it!.. Need a hair cut" If its a body shot "You cant really see those lumps much..
damn I look fat.. need to change"
Thats it!
Quote from: Jay on January 27, 2009, 07:18:28 AM
Quote from: Nero on January 24, 2009, 12:11:08 PM
well seeing as i get a full body shot as i'm walking toward the mirror - my first reaction is always 'WOW that bitch's got great tits'.
I love you Nero! :) Made me spit my coke out! (Yeah and I am at work) lol :P
I see a man.. a young looking man.. normally first words to my head is "damn my hair looks
crap, damn it!.. Need a hair cut" If its a body shot "You cant really see those lumps much..
damn I look fat.. need to change"
Thats it!
glad i gave someone a laugh today. :laugh:
I see a mirror, I must be a vampire.
I usually think "The bathroom needs cleaning" I usually only see the mirror in the bathroom
Depends where I look... If i look below the neck, I think: I'm pretty lucky and HRT (eventually) will only make things look better. If I look at my face... I think about how painful FFS will probably be and how painfully I wish I'd known what would have been possible fifteen years ago.
Sometimes I see my online persona it's a comforting picture for me... Somewhere where we really aren't judged for who we are, we just wanna play games. Sometimes I see the person I don't wanna be, and sometimes I see the person who has great possibilities waiting for her in transition, and finally a very small percentage of the time, I see someone with anger brewing inside, needing a release and vent.
That's funny, I was just talking about this in my AIS support group.
When I look in the mirror, I see nether male nor female, I just see the same face I've looked at for 20+ years out of 35 years.
And that's after being on ert for 17 months.
It should be Merry Chritmas with hope and happiness in our hearts in the new year
A creature I know, that nobody else really knows and never will really know.
hmmm... well, i'm happy of my body - after a full body wax a see a sexy woman. If I look at my face without any makeup i see a sort of androgynous being - after the make up i see a nice woman with a big nose.
lol
Hugs,
Aly
I have trouble seeing all of my face till recently. It was a defense mechanism. When I look in the mirror, I saw a very sad old man(nearly dead). I felt horror, dread and hate.
It is starting to shift. I am starting to see a different(old as in years ago-younger) me. I think I am seeing glimpses of the me I feel I should have been. Still a little bit of a challenge to see the whole face. Each step seems better.
Hopefully,
Joanna
At first thought I see beautiful and caring woman :icon_chick: But then I start noticing all of my various flaws and then it begins to set in how lonely I am and so then I start to see a woman who wishes she was a bit better looking and didn't feel like such a loser
- A fixer upper with potential of sorts :-\
I've never had a good relationship with the mirror, and I've lost count how many times I've felt despair when looking at my reflection. Logically, I know that the reflection I see is me, but my brain has never fully accepted that; There's a disconnect of sorts that I often liken to wearing a bear suit that I just cannot remove no matter what.
After 8 months of HRT I've yet to see what the real me looks like underneath that suit, but I'm hopeful that day will come soon.
Myself. I can't change most of it. I just have what i've been given. It's just a reflection, and doesn't see anything but exterior.
I see the same woman you can see in my profile picture. I like me.
It depends on the lighting and where I am and with or without make up. If I'm at home and I just wake up and the sun light is coming up from the east and I look into my web cam I can see a 64 year old withering old man. If I position the computer right with the correct sun angle and without my make up I can get a descent looking older woman looking back at me. The right sun light angle and camera angle and make up I get a pretty decent middle aged woman staring back. I know when I go to my therapists office she has paintings on the walls and when I look at the reflection in the glass I can see a hot mature woman.
I see myself and right now I'm pretty happy with what I see.
Sapere Aude
I never minded mirrors as much as I should have, my eyes would just glide over where i could see myself, you could say that when I started looking I stopped seeing. It was never perfect though, but it was better than nothing. When I saw myself, I tended to think "Oh! That's odd." and start ignoring stuff again. I think i've learnt the hard way that it's easy to be the victim, but it's even easier to ignore your victimhood and let it fester inside you until it grows into a metastasizing tumor on your soul. You can't change a problem that you can't see.
I sort of check things... shiny hair, looking straight and elegant, strong enough, energetic enough, and let's see if what I'm wearing minimises the fat distribution thing. I am really working towards supporting myself if I look bad instead of beating myself up for that, but usually after the check I forget about the look thing and gives myself as a person a thumbs up or a victory sign before heading out.
Sometimes I see a woman, sometimes I still see a guy. Occasionally I see a 'thing' looking back at me that I can't stand, sometimes I scream at it, sometimes I cry. Sometimes I don't really register what I see, as I'm just going through the daily routine of getting ready.
It all depends on what mood I'm in at the time. I don't think I'll ever truly conquer gender dysphoria, I just don't know.
I used to see a sad old man. Now I see me, and he hardly ever shows up any more.
freaking fur
everywhere.
except of course, on top of my head where it would do some good...
bah
Quote from: rwOnnaDesuKa on August 10, 2016, 11:09:13 PM
freaking fur
everywhere.
except of course, on top of my head where it would do some good...
bah
You're not alone, I see that too.
Ruined past
Quote from: rwOnnaDesuKa on August 10, 2016, 11:09:13 PM
freaking fur
everywhere.
except of course, on top of my head where it would do some good...
bah
+2
I don't trust the mirror. I could look pretty decent in it, and then someone takes a photo at a bash or in a bar and I look like I ran face-first into a train. I don't think I look good, but the idea that I still look better in the mirror than in real life is depressing.
I have love/hate relationship with my mirror. It's also a powerful motivator for me.
Two years ago, I got out of the shower and glimpsed something that I had become - middle aged, portly, and quite unattractive. That single event prompted a focused regime of fitness (bicycle, walking and recently running) for at least 75 minutes a day (5 - 15 miles depending on the mode). By eating sensibly, i've lost 50 lbs and am no longer obese. In 25 lbs. I'll be in the right range for a woman of 5' 10"
So, now when I look in the mirror I am happy to see a belly that is weight/height proportional. I'm happy that my waist is now a size 34 (not a size 42). I'm also please when I dress fully at how much better I do look, and the fact that I'm fitting into a size 14/16 of the first time in ages (which opens up so much more choice)
I'm not pleased that I have a "waddle" of loose skin under my chin now, nor do I have any breasts or hips that are of my own making - hence the love/hate relationship.
Joanna
During my make up session I love to see the transformation from sad looking guy into a happy female.
After I have applied all my make up, hidden body parts, exaggerated body parts, applied and painted my false nails, put on my lingerie and a nice dress or a skirt and blouse I step into a pair of heels and look into my full length mirror and I see a happy woman who looks younger than her male counter part.
When I become Alice and look into the mirror I feel so happy and content
Alice x
I try not to look, to depressing
I hate shaving, i always try to leave it for awhile so i dont have to, until it gets too long and annoying
Quote from: Christy Lee on January 15, 2018, 05:04:55 PM
I try not to look, to depressing
I hate shaving, i always try to leave it for awhile so i dont have to, until it gets too long and annoying
I used to be like that to but I would shave in the shower so I did not have to look in the mirror
Mirrors and I have had a tempestuous relationship all of my life, long before I knew I was trans. I always, always, hated my reflection. For at least 40 years, I hated the sight of myself in the mirror. I didn't know it, but it was gender dysphoria. I know this, because, after coming out to myself, I was looking in the mirror one day and was astonished to realize that I loved what I saw. I knew I was looking at a woman; and I loved it. :laugh: I don't pass; nevertheless, when I look in the mirror I see a woman. And I love it. I finally love who I am. :)
I see potental
I see my past mistakes of transitioning, self-inflicted pain, a lot of regret. I grunt at what to me looks like a man with feminine eyebrows, face stubble, a hairy chest and prosthetic breasts in a bra. I feel weird about it all, and sad, but not really dysphoric.
It feels more like a self-loving disconnect like I'm patiently waiting for my body to pick up the phone on the other end but all I get is a "the number you're calling is unavailable right now" and I just keep calling and leaving sweet, caring voice mail messages. Please call back soon, I need you. And it feels like a sad sigh of "oh what have I done to myself" without really wanting to dig into the true depth of that feeling, so it stays at a managable surface level.
Staring at my face I wonder how I can find my true self again by hiding it under makeup, and then I think about the irony in that thought. I used to take my femininity for granted and hate it. Now I love it but can't find it again. Then I wonder if I should shave my stubble or keep it, and if my eyebrows need trimming. Also gotta poke my acne.
I only partially recognise my own face. It both feels familiar and alien at the same time. Facing the mirror in my detransition has been difficult all along, and it continues to be. But it's still my face, and that in itself is a comfort. It's easier with what's below my neck, except from my chest, cause I do notice that my body shape looks unmistakenly feminine, and that's comforting.
I see a good looking guy.
I see a lovely woman who I can fall in love with.
(https://c1.staticflickr.com/5/4884/44223964200_0394c7f856_c.jpg)
(https://c1.staticflickr.com/5/4877/45315608584_5436776d41_b.jpg)
barbie~~
What do I see?
Just a hunk a hunk of burning love! :)
I see the new me with remnants of the old. I like the idea of seeing potential.
I see possibilities. The future is ahead.
I see myself as a positive attitude, loving woman and that will not change, no matter what image is reflected.
Chrissy
When I look in the mirror I shake my head and smile. I am beginning to see the person I was meant to be, with only a few reminders of my past which taunt me from time to time. Once my hair gets a few inches longer and my electrolysis sessions taper off I think all that will be left is me -- a tall, happy, beautiful woman named Jessica.
I see shame and fear. Guilt too... in my eyes. I just see strong emotions I built inside myself and bottled up. I see a person controlled by emotion. [emoji22]
Sent from my VS501 using Tapatalk
Someone who feels disappointed, deals with severe depression and anxiety and wrestles with suicidal ideation
Quote from: Michelle_P on August 10, 2016, 10:37:15 PM
I used to see a sad old man. Now I see me, and he hardly ever shows up any more.
And now, over two years later, I am occasionally startled by that strange woman in my apartment that I glimpse out of the corner of my eye, before I realize that was just my reflection in the mirror, a cute older woman who lives in my apartment and sleeps in my bed.
None of the mirrors are covered these days. I feel essentially complete, just tidying up the corners at the end of my medical and social transition.
I see a guy. I have always seen a guy. I used to hate mirrors because I was trying to be a woman. But that guy kept staring back at me. I don't hate mirrors anymore.
Tony
A large hole in my neck that I have to keep putting forceps down to remove stuff that would stop me breathing.
I see an aged woman who lavishes money on her hair ;D
(https://c1.staticflickr.com/5/4859/46057351171_9fc420f6c0_b.jpg)
barbie~~
Quote from: barbie on November 26, 2018, 05:17:18 AM
I see an aged woman who lavishes money on her hair ;D
Looking at that photo I only see an attractive young woman-- who may or may not be lavishing money on her hair.
As for myself, I don't trust the mirror, but I just try to do my best. Photos are more revealing than mirror images of yourself. I think it's because they allow you to easily compare your appearance with that of others. I don't pose for photos very often.
I can't tell if I look young or older in it. I don't know if I feel young or old anyway. Mirrors don't seem to show me much. They belie nothing of what's behind the eyes. It shows only the superficial and I don't even know how I relate to what I see.
Doesn't matter to me anyway. Life is lived in the mind.
Quote from: Lyric on November 26, 2018, 11:30:03 AM
Looking at that photo I only see an attractive young woman-- who may or may not be lavishing money on her hair.
As for myself, I don't trust the mirror, but I just try to do my best. Photos are more revealing than mirror images of yourself. I think it's because they allow you to easily compare your appearance with that of others. I don't pose for photos very often.
Lyric. Yes. Photos reveal my objective images better than the mirror.
I have a large mirror at my room together with the one of the vanity table.
(https://c1.staticflickr.com/5/4898/45173057435_ddef9949aa_c.jpg) (https://c1.staticflickr.com/5/4813/46034760712_bd8f97049b_c.jpg) (https://c1.staticflickr.com/5/4837/46034718702_54d22299fe_b.jpg)
A mirror is a must for crossdressers?
barbie~~
Quote from: barbie on November 28, 2018, 01:04:17 AM
I have a large mirror at my room together with the one of the vanity table.
It's 3x Barbie! You have an extraordinarily neat makeup vanity there. I used to have an almost wall width mirrored sliding closet door in my bedroom. It was very handy for checking the whole look in the morning.
Quote from: Allison S on November 25, 2018, 02:19:55 PM
I see shame and fear. Guilt too... in my eyes. I just see strong emotions I built inside myself and bottled up. I see a person controlled by emotion. [emoji22]
Sent from my VS501 using Tapatalk
Same.
Lisa
Quote from: Lyric on December 03, 2018, 09:37:39 AM
It's 3x Barbie! You have an extraordinarily neat makeup vanity there. I used to have an almost wall width mirrored sliding closet door in my bedroom. It was very handy for checking the whole look in the morning.
I thought the makeup vanity could store all of my makeup items, but soon it turned out that I need more space. I ordered and installed DIY shelves, and now the space seems enough. The mirror is heavy and as tall as me, and difficult to move.
barbie~~
A good looking superhero!