Long story short my BFF & I were talking about blokes & how I've gotten interested in the dating business after my GRS. I was telling her that I'm not interested in dating blokes that are much older than me but was worried because society seems to accept a much older man dating a younger woman whilst it's easily frowned upon when women date younger men. She looked at me, smiled & said "you just got to get used to being a cougar" I was devastated. I'm not old. I'm only 28. Do you think it's ok for a woman to date a bloke younger than her.
I really don't see why not.
The women I date tend to be older than myself.
I have always hit it off with younger men.
One early boyfriend was 18, I was 24.
My second husband and I got together when he was 21 and I was 30.
I am now 59 and the guy I am going with is 47
I find younger men aren't as 'brain dead'. Not to mention they have more "stamina" :o ;D
Age is just a number. If two people love each other and have a strong connection, respective ages are irrelevant. Nevermind what society thinks. Society has a problem with everything in one form or another, due to the fact that it's a collection of individuals with individual opinions... and anyway, if you went strictly by what this hazy, ill-defined amorphous mess thought, then you'd work 23 hours a day, pay your taxes, and have no social life whatsoever.
With regard to relationships, do what makes you happy, not what you think you're supposed to do because of what society thinks. You're not dating society, you're dating someone you're attracted to. Two people. That's what matters.
And no, Pia, you're not old. :)
I thought Cougars were late 30s to mid 50s dating guys in their twenties or thirties - something with at least a 15-20 year difference.
Omg Pia
i wish i was as "old" as you :)
Just do what you like, maybe a few years ago society in general frowned on that but just forget that now and do what your heart desires.
2009 is here.
I am kinnda suprised that someone who broke the gender barrier and basically told society that she wasn't going to bow down to what they thought she should do, she was going to be happy is so nervous about something as insugnificant as an age differance in dating. I guess I take a comfort in the idea that once we get through the serguries that it can then go back to worries about trivialities! do what makes you happy you have up to this point and it seems to have turned out great! if its not broke don't fix it!! :)
yes, of course. lots of guys are into mature women. (though you don't exactly yet qualify as a 'mature woman'. ;) you're still young.
Quote from: Pia on January 29, 2009, 03:15:08 AM
Do you think it's ok for a woman to date a bloke younger than her.
Given that both of mine are younger (just getting on their feet in life actually) I guess I have to say that I guess it's ok.
(An technically I personally don't really care about age; It's not like humanity has to worry about under population at this point after all.)
You have got TWO!!??
Isn't that kind of greedy!!??
Quote from: Northern Jane on January 29, 2009, 12:34:57 PM
You have got TWO!!??
Isn't that kind of greedy!!??
Did you think of yourself as "greedy" when you did that, Jane? >:-) >:-)
@Pia, old, at 28!! :laugh: :laugh:
Age is always a relative thing so I suppose to my 10 year old you'd be "middle-age." But a "cougar" or an actual middle-age woman? Naw, you've another twenty years to go with demographics what they are these days!! :)
Nichole
I just realized lately I might be viewed as a cougar, not quite that age yet but tend to find only younger guys, or them me haha. As a plus they are very willing to learn and take direction well (j/p). All the ones my age are taken or deranged. It has become pretty popular the last few years with Ashton and Demi n such, that kind of helps. Under 21 though...nuh uh.
Hmmmm.. I think that it would depend on the woman's age and how much younger he is. If we are talking national scandal such as "teacher sleeps with a thirteen year old student", then yes, it is considered very wrong. However, if they are both over eighteen, it shouldn't be a problem provided that she is not something like twice his age. *giggle*
Personally, I am not attracted to older men either (and by "older" I mean late thirties and over :P). I prefer men who are around my age or slightly younger than I but not too young, just perfect and...ummmm...vigorous like my boyfriend! ;D so yes Pia, I quite understand what you are talking about, and of course you are not a "cougar". I am pretty sure that your friend was just giving you a hard time!
tink :icon_chick:
In like 12 years you'll be old enough to be a cougar =P.
Quote from: Pia on January 29, 2009, 03:15:08 AM
Long story short my BFF & I were talking about blokes & how I've gotten interested in the dating business after my GRS. I was telling her that I'm not interested in dating blokes that are much older than me but was worried because society seems to accept a much older man dating a younger woman whilst it's easily frowned upon when women date younger men. She looked at me, smiled & said "you just got to get used to being a cougar" I was devastated. I'm not old. I'm only 28. Do you think it's ok for a woman to date a bloke younger than her.
what i think is awful is when a person, say 55 wants to date a 25 year old. we all know when younger women go for senior citizens, there is one reason...money! what else could she be attracted to? an expanding waistline, male pattern baldness, dentures? eeeek the same is true for a guy young enough to be a woman's son. it'd feel awful if everyone thought i were some guy's mother! i know these things must seem exciting but i think one is better off to stick with someone of the same generation. no more than 10 years either way. too many odds are against relationships these days to add the age factor!
Just look at Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher. Demi is 16 years older than him, yet everyone things they're an adorable couple.. why? Because they are. ;) Society has less of a problem with age differences than society thinks it does.
Quote from: Katia on January 30, 2009, 10:00:52 AMwe all know when younger women go for senior citizens, there is one reason...money! what else could she be attracted to? an expanding waistline, male pattern baldness, dentures?
How about personality, attitude, mind, heart, soul? Those things don't suddenly disappear when a person reaches a certain age, no matter what gender they are.
Not everyone is so shallow or superficial that desirable external physical characteristics or a large wallet are the only things they look for in a partner.
Quote from: Leiandra on January 30, 2009, 10:35:23 AM
Quote from: Katia on January 30, 2009, 10:00:52 AMwe all know when younger women go for senior citizens, there is one reason...money! what else could she be attracted to? an expanding waistline, male pattern baldness, dentures?
How about personality, attitude, mind, heart, soul? Those things don't suddenly disappear when a person reaches a certain age, no matter what gender they are.
Not everyone is so shallow or superficial that desirable external physical characteristics or a large wallet are the only things they look for in a partner.
heh the subtle "you are shallow & superficial" attack. is it really shallow to want to go out with someone that you are physically attracted to? being able to sustain passion in a relationship is important. i don't think that's shallow. it's even worse when people deny it and pretend not to be, but they really are.
Quote from: Katia on January 30, 2009, 04:01:13 PM
heh the subtle "you are shallow & superficial" attack. is it really shallow to want to go out with someone that you are physically attracted to? being able to sustain passion in a relationship is important. i don't think that's shallow. it's even worse when people deny it and pretend not to be, but they really are.
It wasn't an attack on anyone inparticular, honey. I never said you were shallow or superficial, nor do I believe you to be. I agree with you, having passion in a relationship can be an important aspect.
What I said was, it's shallow and superficial if physical appearance and/or financial standing are the
only reasons a person chooses to date someone. And I believe that, when it comes to someone relatively young dating someone older, there are those that look beyond the physical and monetary factors of a potential partner and find other things about them attractive.
Quote from: Pia on January 29, 2009, 03:15:08 AM
Do you think it's ok for a woman to date a bloke younger than her.
Sometimes the maturity of the younger pursuant male or female could cause problems, although with help of the older companion this could balance out and end up in a good relationship, and how should you feel? Well, how you feel is up to you, there is nothing wrong with it. It might bring a few deceptions and problems or it can work out. There is no difference in a close age relationship. Follow your heart, expect the best but be ready for the worst. Good luck!!! :icon_hug:
The age barrier can be a tough one...so many years of separation can mean different wants, likes, needs, etc.
But my opinion: happiness and a compatible partner are hard to find. If a woman happens to be 15-20 older than her Bf...and the 2 of them are happy...good for them! If they find happiness, then they shouldn't worry about the age.
Pia, my comments weren't directed at you. You're just too young & pretty to be considered a cougar.
Pia, ya aren't a cougar.
as for older people, it is generally true that they are less attractive in many ways. but why generalize? i may be less attracted to older men than older women, for instance, but it always comes down to a case by case basis. just like relationships. i have met several older women who were in very nice shape physically, mentally, and personality-wise. what can i say? i was honestly attracted to them.
and while it's generally true that i have not met many attractive older men, i can name at least one right now who is in great shape physically, mentally, and personalty-wise, and i believe he gets (and deserves) alot of attention.
-ell
The entire cougar madness thang basically resolves itself into yet another example of how our culture sets a premium on the superficial and eternal youth. Superficial has no depth and youth is always ephemeral (unless, of course you die young, but that seems a self-defeating choice.)
The answer seems to me to be find your bliss -- naw, really find it. I mean you're a forty y/o woman dating or married to a 70 y/o guy or seeing a 70 y/o woman. They're gonna have wrinkles, they're gonna have frailities, but if they have something or somethings about them that moves you, allows you to love and appreciate them does it matter? Really matter?
The same is true going in the other direction as well. So what if a boyfriend, husband, lover is 20 or more years younger (well, if they're over 21 :) ) It's the quality of your relationship with them, how well you're moved by the person there.
No one else is gonna make ya happy anyhow, that we all have to do for ourselves.
R~
You know, considering that English is not my maternal language, I have to admit that I had never heard of the word cougar before until Pia mentioned it, so I had to look it up in the dictionary. Now my question is this: is there a similar word for older men who like to date younger girls? In Spanish... we call them viejos verdes ;D but that is just too insulting a term, I think.
Viejos verdes! LOL they deserve it though >:-)
tink :icon_chick:
Grundig blaupunkt luger frug
Watusi snarf wazoo
Nixon dirksen nazahist
Rebozo boogaloo
More on Tink's term here (http://www.thenationalcampaign.org/media/PDF/2007/MSNBC_5_13_07.pdf)
=K
Quote from: Tink on January 31, 2009, 06:17:38 PM
In Spanish... we call them viejos verdes
tink :icon_chick:
hm. this sheds new light on the meaning of "battling the mean green weenie"
Quote from: Karen on February 01, 2009, 02:15:21 AM
Grundig blaupunkt luger frug
Watusi snarf wazoo
Nixon dirksen nazahist
Rebozo boogaloo
More on Tink's term here (http://www.thenationalcampaign.org/media/PDF/2007/MSNBC_5_13_07.pdf)
=K
Okay, it would be nice if I knew what that meant. *giggle* ;D But seriously and going to the
Fotonovelas article, I think that it depends on the country you are from. Not every Latin American country is so backwards and primitive where people don't understand the meaning of
rape or where "the family is OK with a
viejo verde dating or raping their daughter". I mean, come on, we are talking "middle ages" here for heaven's sakes. However, I am aware that this is a common misconception among some people here in the US. They often think that just because a person is from "Latin America", he or she must be uneducated, stupid, and primitive. Duh! ::) nothing could be further from the truth, but that goes without saying!
But hey going back to the
viejo verde thingy. Someone here asked me what that term exactly meant..well, to put it simply...literally, it would translate into "green old man" which doesn't have much sense (in English), I think. Though the idiomatic expression in Spanish gives us this:
Viejo = old, ancient ('old man' in this case)
Verde = green...but why 'green'? because everything that is 'old' (viejo) eventually turns 'green' (verde) as in "stale", "moldy", 'bloated', "putrid", "malodorous".
So that is the history of
viejo verde! >:-)
Quote from: ell on February 01, 2009, 08:55:34 AM
Quote from: Tink on January 31, 2009, 06:17:38 PM
In Spanish... we call them viejos verdes
tink :icon_chick:
hm. this sheds new light on the meaning of "battling the mean green weenie"
ROFL ;D No kidding!
tink :icon_chick:
Personally I think its fine, if two people can connect.. then why the hell not?
I am 21 and I fell in love with a woman who was 19 years my senior. I just like older women, personally.
Also my best friend Ryan is 28 and his partner is 65. (No there is no money there btw, as some people may thing)
But Pia you aren't old not, old at all. Your only 28 jeez! No one would double take you plus you look alot younger than your age in your profile pic. :)
This is indeed an interesting thread. I wonder if I too will become a cougar. Personally I think the term is dumb but what can ya do :police:
more on cougars:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0H_6rSWX0Qo#noexternalembed&feature=rec-HM-rev-rn (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0H_6rSWX0Qo#noexternalembed&feature=rec-HM-rev-rn)