It seems so much of the topics are about transitioning (or not) at what I would call a young age. I am a facilitator of a support group where there are people just coming out in their fifties and sixties.
Anybody have stories or issues to share about this?
Thanks
well, what do you as a support group facilitator think about it? :)
I am 65 and finally dealing with my life-long gender issues. I had come out to my wife, daughter, gay friends, and doctor before this year; but now I've been coming out to my straight friends and almost anyone else who will listen. Even though my earliest memories are of wanting to be a girl, I had always thought of myself as a cross dresser. As I am more open with others I am finding that I am probably transsexual. I now hope to live fulltime as a woman and perhaps have the surgery. (I don't want to get my hopes up and so try to look only at the next step.)
There are several age-related issues that I can identify. I feel I need to hurry up and get this done before I get much older. I am a little wiser than I was at 20, although that isn't too difficult considering how I was at 20. I have the confidence to approach the theater voice coach, the DMV, my bank, my doctor, etc. and just state my issues. I have many more really good friends than I did when I was younger. And I won't even consider a tracheal shave because of the hardness of the cartilage at this age. I also lived a long time as the wrong gender. Like most things, there are pluses and minuses.
- Kate
A couple of more thoghts... (Is that age related? :D ) I'm still early in this process and haven't started hormones yet. I've only had one laser treatment on my face to clear out the whiskers. I have some grey hair, so I'll have to do electrolysis as well - another age-related issue. I expect to take one step at a time and if successful go on to the next step. I think I've developed more patience and a certain wariness over the years. I am probably less willing to consider self-destructive behavior than I was when I was younger. I am less concerned with becoming an attractive woman - attractiveness at my age is more in behavior and attitude, thankfully.
I just feel fortunate to be able to finally do this.
Cheers,
Kate
OK. One more: Family. I am probably less enmeshed in family than a younger person. While younger people worry about telling their parents, that is not an issue for me. My parents have both been dead for over 15 years. M wife died two years ago. My daughter is an adult, living with her husband. My sister and brother are older and, while we are all on very good terms, we are not close. For me, the family I've created of friends is more important to me than my blood family (other than my daughter, who will always be in a special part of my heart).
- Kate
ok. I to am older 62 and have started HRT. I'm finally feeling good about myself. Thanks all for the chatter.It has helped alot
Sarah
I'm 48 and transitioned last year.
I think for older people there was a huge stigma when we were growing up; being lesbian or gay was scandalous, let alone people who got a 'sex change'. They were all portrayed as sexual deviants and freaks of nature. No wonder many of us suppressed ourselves to avoid ridicule.
I knew I wasn't a freak or sexual deviant, and wasn't like 'those people' (how they were portrayed, not how they likely truly were). But as we all know it doesn't go away.
So it took me longer to figure it out, be 'diagnosed' and then I was all over the cure (transition). I still think there is more of a stigma for ladies (mtf) than men (ftm), and I do know a lot of ladies who wait until their parents pass, so as not to upset them.
Younger kids have it a bit easier; people are more open about variations in biology and sexual orientation than in the past. Not that it's a cakewalk, but there a lot of information out there, easily accessible on the web, that just didn't exist when I was in my teens and 20s.
Jay
Pre-transition, I have to agree with most of what has been said so far.
I was having an interesting discussion with my therapist the other day. She says that 80% of the people who go to her for counselling have lost control of their GID due to a trauma of one sort or another. The scale of trauma required was very much down to the individual, but it could vary from a "minor" accident, to a loved one dying unexpectedly, or illness.
As we focus our minds on dealing with the post-traumatic stress, it allows the GID to surface as the ability to control it is weakened.
For those of us who are older, a number of our life goals have been achieved and we can 'loose focus' while we are moving on, and re-evaluating our 'reasons to live'. The term mid-life crisis seems to apply these days over a much wider age band, and then there is also retirement, providing more milestones to re-evaluate life.
If you combine these factors together, add the improved awareness, and then throw in the increasing risk of trauma as we get older.....
.... it's easy to start seeing life 45+ to be a potential GID minefield. :-\
Chrissty
That's a very interesting theory and I agree with it t a certain point but it kind of cuts both ways. When things are really bad I find the last thing on my mind are GID issues. It's all about just surviving at that point.
Quote from: Chrissty on March 29, 2009, 06:37:44 AM
For those of us who are older, a number of our life goals have been achieved and we can 'loose focus' while we are moving on, and re-evaluating our 'reasons to live'. The term mid-life crisis seems to apply these days over a much wider age band, and then there is also retirement, providing more milestones to re-evaluate life.
If you combine these factors together, add the improved awareness, and then throw in the increasing risk of trauma as we get older.....
.... it's easy to start seeing life 45+ to be a potential GID minefield. :-\
Chrissty
I'm going to have to think about this a bit. My GID was increasing gradually but took a big jump when I retired from the military and started working in the civilian world. When times were tough I would retreat into crossdressing as a way to calm myself. When I finally retired from civilian work, I didn't have the stress but my GID graduallly increased. I think to some extent it was just an unresolved issue that I had been able to control better when I was young. My wife's illness was hell and I only survived with the help of my friends. Her death was also tough, even after knowing it was coming. After her death I did a lot of re-evaluating and looking at life goals. I'm still doing that.
But I get back to the gender issues being unresolved. I think as we get older we feel the need to resolve as many of our life issues as possible. My wife always had a very difficult relationship with her mother and as they both got older it became more important to my wife to resolve that somehow. (She never did.)
So now I'm an old genderqueer, thinking that perhaps I can finally be a woman like I wished I could be when I was 4.
-Kate
Quote from: Chrissty on March 29, 2009, 06:37:44 AM
Pre-transition, I have to agree with most of what has been said so far.
I was having an interesting discussion with my therapist the other day. She says that 80% of the people who go to her for counselling have lost control of their GID due to a trauma of one sort or another. The scale of trauma required was very much down to the individual, but it could vary from a "minor" accident, to a loved one dying unexpectedly, or illness.
As we focus our minds on dealing with the post-traumatic stress, it allows the GID to surface as the ability to control it is weakened.
For those of us who are older, a number of our life goals have been achieved and we can 'loose focus' while we are moving on, and re-evaluating our 'reasons to live'. The term mid-life crisis seems to apply these days over a much wider age band, and then there is also retirement, providing more milestones to re-evaluate life.
If you combine these factors together, add the improved awareness, and then throw in the increasing risk of trauma as we get older.....
.... it's easy to start seeing life 45+ to be a potential GID minefield. :-\
Chrissty
Wow. That just made a puzzle piece fit for me.
BTW, can I just say your picture is hot!
Quote from: imaz on March 29, 2009, 06:59:41 AM
That's a very interesting theory and I agree with it t a certain point but it kind of cuts both ways. When things are really bad I find the last thing on my mind are GID issues. It's all about just surviving at that point.
I agree with this, too. I had always found crossdressing to be calming during difficult times, but during the worst of my wife's illness I didn't dress. At that point it was survival, and putting on a bra and skirt wasn't survival. Kind of like Maslov's hierarchy, where you have to have certain needs met before you are even capable about worrying about those at the next level.
- Kate
I am 55 and have been on HRT going a year now. I have been living in my true gender for 6 months, and I could not be happier.
The younger ones have their youth on their side. HRT can and does work wonders on their young bodies. HRT will not make major changes for us, because we stopped growing along time ago. But we older folks, for the most part have established ourselves in our professions. Which can give us a network to continue on with our chosen profession. And many of us are reaching retirement.
Family issues with parents for the most part are nil. We have been making our own decisions for decades. We made our mistakes and learned from them. They don't have the luxury of that OJT.
But they did not have to face the pain and misery of years of living a lie.
Just my humble thoughts.
Janet
Quote from: imaz on March 29, 2009, 06:59:41 AM
That's a very interesting theory and I agree with it t a certain point but it kind of cuts both ways. When things are really bad I find the last thing on my mind are GID issues. It's all about just surviving at that point.
Quote from: K8 on March 29, 2009, 07:24:44 AM
I agree with this, too. I had always found crossdressing to be calming during difficult times, but during the worst of my wife's illness I didn't dress. At that point it was survival, and putting on a bra and skirt wasn't survival. Kind of like Maslov's hierarchy, where you have to have certain needs met before you are even capable about worrying about those at the next level.
- Kate
The way it works is that you do not run off and dress/transition as such, but when you try settle back to 'normal' the 'bar has been raised' and you can find priorites shuffled.
I have actually come to realise that my GID is worst when I do try to realax, but when stressed I tend to focus and deal with the problems in front of me....so I agree with your comments.. ;)
Quote from: Linus on March 29, 2009, 07:20:44 AM
BTW, can I just say your picture is hot!
Thanks Linus * Blush* :icon_redface:
...and.... Hi Sis !
Quote from: Janet Lynn on March 29, 2009, 08:25:18 AM
But they did not have to face the pain and misery of years of living a lie.
That sounds like me for a little while yet :-\
:icon_hug:
Chrissty
Quote from: Chrissty on March 29, 2009, 06:37:44 AM
I was having an interesting discussion with my therapist the other day. She says that 80% of the people who go to her for counselling have lost control of their GID due to a trauma of one sort or another. The scale of trauma required was very much down to the individual, but it could vary from a "minor" accident, to a loved one dying unexpectedly, or illness.
As we focus our minds on dealing with the post-traumatic stress, it allows the GID to surface as the ability to control it is weakened.
This is exactly what happened to me. I lost two people I loved in the same week. I dragged around like a zombie for months but pulled myself together--pretty well, I thought. Then the first anniversary began to loom, and I became more and more strung out. I spent a few months knowing that something was horribly wrong with me but not knowing what it was. I thought that since more than a year had gone by since the deaths, it couldn't be related to them.
I held myself together until summer break. Then my gender and sexuality issues exploded out of me. All of the issues in my life, including things I thought I had dealt with long ago, came back to haunt me and took on gargantuan proportions. I've been doing triage ever since. At my age, a person can have a LOT of baggage.
I never thought of my situation in terms of PTSD, but now that I think about it, it fits.
At my age, a person can have a LOT of baggage
At your age, or at any age really, people have all the baggage with them that they CHOOSE to carry with them. At the time you choose NOT to deal with something, you in effect, and in reality, choose to stick it in your baggage. And its going to sit there no matter how many other things you do around it, until you deal with it, straight up, and flat out.
Though GID is very real, I suspect that for many people it becomes its own escape. Its easy to lump everything into one basket, but dealing with the GID may well not solve all the problems you had going in. Hence a higher than average suicide rate for people post-transition. Transition solved a problem, it did not solve all the problems.
It sucks to be transitioning late. I was supposed to 3 years ago. I'm such a loser. I'm 30. I never thought I'd be transitioing at 30! What the hell?
Quote from: Nero on March 29, 2009, 03:55:30 PM
It sucks to be transitioning late. I was supposed to 3 years ago. I'm such a loser. I'm 30. I never thought I'd be transitioing at 30! What the hell?
Dude, I'm 39 and only started contemplating transition at age 36. It is not the length of the journey but that you're on the journey that matters.
Crissty wrote,
QuoteI was having an interesting discussion with my therapist the other day. She says that 80% of the people who go to her for counselling have lost control of their GID due to a trauma of one sort or another. The scale of trauma required was very much down to the individual, but it could vary from a "minor" accident, to a loved one dying unexpectedly, or illness.
As we focus our minds on dealing with the post-traumatic stress, it allows the GID to surface as the ability to control it is weakened.
I'm a mess but I would say I no longer could separate all of life's issues and in the end I expend large amounts of energy in trying to figure how to transition.
I have no idea what I will do. I guess I will keep pushing the bounds on the gender.
However I had a great life. I have a beautiful family and a beautiful wife. I would not trade my life for a 26 year old beach girl. (Beach might not be a good choice of words.) However it has been a lonely journey. I share nothing. I did well in school and had reasonably good jobs. But the stuff has always bothered me. I have tried to cope with it for decades.
Hey I've made a couple good girlfriends these days. One even spends time with me and makes me laugh at myself. Some days are O.K.
I am ashamed to say that I get jealous of many young MTF's but they probably are jealous of me. I still have a chapter or two left in me so that we will see what happens.
Oh by the way many old ladies are quite "old". Hey I would have less pressure to look pretty since I am already "old". ;)
K
Quote from: tekla on March 29, 2009, 03:52:18 PM
At my age, a person can have a LOT of baggage
At your age, or at any age really, people have all the baggage with them that they CHOOSE to carry with them. At the time you choose NOT to deal with something, you in effect, and in reality, choose to stick it in your baggage. And its going to sit there no matter how many other things you do around it, until you deal with it, straight up, and flat out.
Though GID is very real, I suspect that for many people it becomes its own escape. Its easy to lump everything into one basket, but dealing with the GID may well not solve all the problems you had going in. Hence a higher than average suicide rate for people post-transition. Transition solved a problem, it did not solve all the problems.
I see your remark about choice as sort of true. Or perhaps we only differ with respect to timelines and/or process.
From a very early age, I learned to cope by boxing things off and not working through them. When I was a kid, I really couldn't work through them. Denial and repression kept me sane. They kept me alive.
And since I got good at compartmentalizing and repressing, I often didn't realize that I had so much baggage. When I did realize, I worked through stuff as far as I could on my own. Then I guess I reached an impasse and went back to repressing. I essentially lied to myself about it.
I didn't realize how much undealt-with baggage I had until I came out of the closet. I can't simply choose not to carry this stuff around--I have to work through it and THEN choose not to carry it around. And that's what I've been doing in therapy for the past seven or eight months. I spent six months working through baggage before I started hormones. Consequently, I've been able to let go of some things. But I'm still processing a lot of stuff. I guess I still have a long way to go.
I stay in therapy because I'm still working through my sh**. I stay because I want to let go of all of this baggage but am only now learning how. And I stay because I know that transition won't magically fix me.
Hi
In my case I knew I was F at a very early age. I came out to my family at about 13. They new nothing. I went through Uni and escaped to Oz. I was going to have SRS and met a women who loved me anyway. We lived as sisters for 20 yrs, she had an accident and is now totally disabled and cannot live with me. My need to be my true sex is now massive. Is this trauma or situation? Also the older bio males get the less T they make. MtF TGs may lose the desire to chnage during youth because of the massive amounts off T they make. As soon as it all cools down the self returns.
At the moment life sucks
Should not have joined this thread
Sorry
Depressed Cindy James
Hi I refer to myself as the 63 year resident old bat. ;D
Hi Wendy, old ladies have dreams and aspirations of the future as well as fond memories of times past. So you keep moving forward, no mater how hard you have to fight against the storms of life, for these to shall pass, giving way to the sunshine.
So I set myself down here behind this here contraption they call a computer, or outside under a tree, or in Wing Walker and I's new Dodge Nitro. Doesn't realy matter where, one can dream anywhere they wish.
I just simply set and I dream of better times ahead and ask myself, how best can I make this world better today? Dream, and beleive, then just go about doing the best you can to manifest that dream. The beauty is not all in the physical appearance, it radiates outwards from the soul my dearest friend.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
As too age timelines when the average TS/TG will begin their journey into transitioning I don't beleive there is any particular time line. everyone has, for simplicities sake I will refer to it as the TS/TG biological clock, and everyone has their own unique time when the bell on that clock goes off. For some, theirs goes off early in life while others goes off much later in life.
We must remember that there is a greater amount of support today than there was back, let's say, even just twenty years ago. Much owing to a much increased and diversified presence of media today then there was twenty years ago for one.
People as a result seek help much sooner now than my generation did. Back then no matter how loud the bell was ringing, where would have I gone to to seek help? Even if I had known about TS/TG, GID back in the sixties and seventies, where would I go? Even if I tried telling someone, and it turned out they outed me, well, there may have been a backwoods swamp with my name on it for me.
You may as well have been living back in the dark ages back then. Although society still has its prejudices and taboos it has still come a long ways, owing to the literature available on the subject now a days
Cindy
Quote from: tekla on March 29, 2009, 03:52:18 PM
Though GID is very real, I suspect that for many people it becomes its own escape. Its easy to lump everything into one basket, but dealing with the GID may well not solve all the problems you had going in. Hence a higher than average suicide rate for people post-transition. Transition solved a problem, it did not solve all the problems.
I looked into transition and SRS 25 years ago(!) but decided then that I had too many things to deal with that had nothing to do with GID and so would have solved one problem, created some new ones, but most would still be with me. It's taken me this long to finally get to a place where I can seriously consider it again.
Life is a journey. Enjoy the ride.
-Kate
Hi Kate, that is what many of us did.
There is no warranty expiry date on when to start transitioning. It is wise to at least have some working knowledge as to what you are going to be encountering before beginning the journey.
You will be that much the stronger if you are at least armed and prepared with this working knowledge to confront some the possible rigors of transitioning. Even prepared you will still run into some facets while transitioning you could not have foreseen.
Me, I was already at the bottom of the pit before I arrived at the doors of transitioning, I had nothing left in this world to loos. As it was, I gained not just regained self worth and a place in society, I have also regained in spirit that which life itself could not have given me. I Love who I am, I have regained my pride, self esteem, and I have my own identity and peace of mind.
I quite agree with Tekla's post.
QuoteThough GID is very real, I suspect that for many people it becomes its own escape. Its easy to lump everything into one basket, but dealing with the GID may well not solve all the problems you had going in. Hence a higher than average suicide rate for people post-transition. Transition solved a problem, it did not solve all the problems.
Congratulations Dudes and dudets in the stepping over the threshold of the transitioning journey. Some day you may grow up to be an old hippie like me. "hee, hee, hee." Peace man!
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi11.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fa191%2Fcynthiag932%2Fhippiegirl-1.jpg&hash=f0bf5785039fba41602457411b28481534e052dc)
Cindy
Quote from: cindybc on March 30, 2009, 03:57:52 PM
Congratulations Dudes and dudets in the stepping over the threshold of the transitioning journey. Some day you may grow up to be an old hippie like me. "hee, hee, hee." Peace man!
Cindy
I'm already an old hippie. I just want the hips to go with it.
- Kate
WOW This reply is great! Today I'm out, finally. It feels good. Hiding is very stressful as all you girls know. I'm on HRT and going for that brass ring
Sarah
Eh! Don't sweat it hun, the hormones did a lot of stuff to me physically I had never dreamed it would. Not to mention some of the attic space as well.
Ye old Hippie
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi11.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fa191%2Fcynthiag932%2FHPIM0227-3.jpg&hash=53dac36e6f79d8d4bf5c33b71b2957bd37394b2b) (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi11.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fa191%2Fcynthiag932%2FHPIM0218-1.jpg&hash=3a1b63451f3e597425314d14c100506ae003293c)
Cindy
Quote from: cindybc on March 30, 2009, 03:57:52 PM
Congratulations Dudes and dudets in the stepping over the threshold of the transitioning journey. Some day you may grow up to be an old hippie like me. "hee, hee, hee." Peace man!
Dang, I knew I should have let my hair grow and get granny glasses!!!
Jay
Thanks Kate that is exactly me like you .my doctor knows but will not give me hormones but is referring me to another doctor who is familiar with this issue .Some how it seems to take so much time now that I am 60 .My wife knows and says she will stand by me ,I hope this will remain true jacquie
i agree with chrissty 100 percent on this for me it was the death of my mother that set it in its final destination. she was the first to know about it when i was 13. I feel she did her best to protect me from my father but she had my siblings to worry about too. In the end i was homeless and left for dead in a field. i survived and it hardened my resolve to to supress this GID thing just to survive. It flared up at weird times but was reasonably controlable as i took on hyper masculine jobs. i remember when my brother called me out of the blue to tell me she had passed away. i felt numb and lost. After a few days of this the gid came back vicious i havnt been able to control it since Hrt has given me the needed peace but it is also acknowledement that i really have only one choice and that is to transition.
jessica
At 56, I have been trying to resolve a probable case of GID for close to a year now, and today I believe I passed a threshold of some sort. Perhaps it could be called an epiphany.
While sitting at the computer at work concentrating on data entry I suddenly was overwhelmed by a feeling of great peace and the thought , "I AM right, I have always been a woman". It was very similar to a deep meditative state, but not quite the same. ( I do this regularly as an anti-depression tool, so know what that feels like.)
This came out of the blue, when I was concentrating on my job, and I had been too busy to give the matter any thought at all for most of the day. Has anyone here experienced anything like this sort of awakening?
@ justmeinoz
Yes.
Quote from: justmeinoz on March 30, 2010, 05:52:07 AM
This came out of the blue, when I was concentrating on my job, and I had been too busy to give the matter any thought at all for most of the day. Has anyone here experienced anything like this sort of awakening?
Yes. I believe that my subconscious mind will sometimes work through problems that my conscious mind can't handle. (Actually, there have been studies of this. The subconscious mind uses a different process than the conscious mind - making connections the conscious can't handle because of its relative rigidity.) Anyway, when I was developing software I would sometimes have these bursts of realization that had nothing to do with software.
- Kate
Post Merge: March 30, 2010, 08:40:09 AM
Welcome to Susan's Jacquie. :icon_flower:
There's a lot of good information and good people here. Each of our stories is unique but we have a lot in common. Settle in, pull up a keyboard, and explore.
Be sure to look under the Announcements heading. There you will find the rules we live by in this little world of ours:
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Look through the other stuff there, too.
My doctor gave me hormones but I had to wait a week while he researched it. Your doctor just may not feel comfortable with his/her experience and knowledge of this. That can be a good thing.
I hope it works out with your wife. My ex-wife – my daughter's biological mother – has been very supportive of me but doesn't have to live with me. I think that if you and your wife can talk with each other openly and honestly as you go through this it will help. Sometimes I think this can be harder on those close to us because they have all the work of adjusting without satisfying the needs that we feel.
In the beginning I felt an urgency because of my age. Now, a year later, I don't feel that – probably because everything is on track. Thoughtful haste will get you there, but you have to go at your own pace. Don't rush into things until you are ready for them.
Happy exploring. :icon_wave:
- Kate
Quote from: Wendy on March 29, 2009, 05:28:50 PMHowever it has been a lonely journey. I share nothing. I did well in school and had reasonably good jobs. But the stuff has always bothered me. I have tried to cope with it for decades.
I am ashamed to say that I get jealous of many young MTF's FTMs...
I can relate to all of this even though I'm not in my 40s-60s I believe I too am transitioning later in life than most guys. It would've been great to start transitioning in my teens or 20's but there just wasn't the resources or knowledge then. Then in my early 30's I started learning about some options but was too scared to start. Now I just can't take anymore and have started transitioning.
Knew the truth when I was four, lived in denial for almost fifty years, finally said "enough". Now, having just turned sixty, I can say without reservation, better late than never! (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fforums.snapstream.com%2Fvb%2Fimages%2Fsmilies%2Fredface.gif&hash=74506a8a8c1c0cfb26cd4adafae0d930eb61988d)
~L~
Hi Iolanth, You look absolutely beautiful.
Spiritually and mentally I always knew who resided within, from a very young age. But the fear from the result of even attempting to live as my true self throughout all those years prevented me from doing so. It was mostly the mind set, attitude and ignorance of society that held me back from being the true self. I, psychologically, probably started transitioning all along since my teens and when I was 41 I realized I was living a lie. But I didn't really start the physical journey until I was 53.
Subconcsiously, to a greater degree, I was already who I was inside. So it was just a mater of allowing the physical to adapt to the mental and spiritual part of who I was within, then allow those different facets of me to meld as one. You don't change who you are you just adapt.
Shedding all those years of being conditioned to being what I was "not" supposed to be was the hardest part of the journey. I am now 64 years old and have been living as my self for ten years, 4 years post op.
Cynthia
I too feel relief from telling my doctor and spouse it seems so simple now coming out as oppose to when I was younger but now I need to start my treatment I need to find a doctor who will help I am looking in Toronto so time will tell
I'm 39.
I think it was back in January when I told somebody that I was too old to transition. Been on HRT for a little over 2 weeks now. :laugh:
When I was younger, there were times when I was too busy to be consumed by my dysphoria. As life settled more, I began to note that as I found more empty time on my hands (say, during a long commute) and the distractions were out of reach, there I was waiting for me.
Now I have a mortgage to pay, a mom with Alzheimer's to keep an eye on, and picked now to go ahead & move forward.
I worry about the HRT increasing my likelihood of some medical problems that run in the family. I worry about losing the job that pays for the house. I don't worry the worries of the young.
I worried about losing the people in my life. But after I'd set an appointment up with a therapist for pre-HRT consultation, I started telling the friends & family I'd decided were worth talking to about it.
But I'm glad I face transition having spent many years addressing the traumas that held me back to begin with instead of transitioning with the burdens I carried through my youth. I'm glad I have insurance and own my home. I'm glad I get to transition with decades of experience and memory, which inform and shape my process going forward.
Transitioning older isn't all bad, now, is it? :)
I'm 38 and wish i had done this when i was in my twenties despite the lack of information about. Yes i'm jealous of the younger ones who are going to get to live their lives the way they need to but i also know that there have been some events in my life that wouldn't have happened if i'd transitioned earlier. I could drive myself mad (and sometimes do) saying if only i'd started this years ago but i try not to think it too often otherwise i just end up on a down ward spiral but i'm here now- its my life and i'm fianally living it for me