Hi everyone,
Let's play the "what if" game. Tell us what it is that would make being transsexual or transgendered easier for you to deal with, live with or cope with. I will start.
This would be whole lot easier for me if I were attracted to men. There is so much information and misinformation out there that suggests or just plain says that "true transsexuals" are attracted to same birth sex, making them heterosexual after transistion. Because I am attracted to women and a transsexual it is really difficult to accept I am both transsexual and homosexual, but that is precisely how I feel.
Add to that, there is not agreement among the mental health community or even within our own community and it leaves one feeling confused and isolated. I know we all have our crosses to bear, but sometimes it is a lot.
Love always,
Elizabeth
If I had a laptop (or computer) 30 years ago.....
If the internet had existed then......
If I could have found a resources like Susan's in the late 70's....
If I would have stopped denying my feelings when I was 18.....
If I could have kept my family intact ( I really do miss my sons)
Becky
:'( :'(
This would be a whole lot easier if I had twice as much life to deal with this! I am getting old too fast!
But seriously, it becomes a whole lot easier when you finally resolve the conflict. Once that is done, the road is open. You see where to go. You know what to do.
The easy part is doing. The hardest part is knowing why.
Cindi
Being transsexual would be easier if I had a million dollars.
Melissa
Everything would have been easier if I had transitioned during my teens...
tinkerbell :icon_chick:
It would be so much easyer if....... my parrents could have understood and accepted, and maby even helped when they first caught me.... or even realized when I was a young child.....
It would be so much easyer if I wasnt so confused... this whole thing of starting to like guys is really getting under my skin and I dont need that.... but I do need a compainon/so.....
It would be SO MUCH EASYER if my ex fience wasnt my ex fience and we were still together *Crys*
This would be a whole lot easier if it wasn't so rare!
This would be a whole lot easier if we didn't scare the bejeebers out of the world!
This would be a whole lot easier if I could lose half my mass!
Chaunte
This would be a whole lot easier if I was a lot youngrer when I transitioned. Then again I wouldn't have met my wife and have had the best friend a girl could ever want. Sometimes I don't like to play the what if games as I do have it good now, but would have liked not to have the T going through my veins all these years. I'm so big boned that nothing fits right. Oh well, life is too short to worry about such trivial things anyway. I love my life now and I have a good 20 years left, hopefully.
Sheila
Quote from: Tinkerbell on September 09, 2006, 09:54:45 PM
Everything would have been easier if I had transitioned during my teens...
I agree. If I could have done one thing differently, that would probably be it.
I'm terribly envious of those who did. :(
Quote from: umop ap!sdn on September 09, 2006, 11:16:37 PM
Quote from: Tinkerbell on September 09, 2006, 09:54:45 PM
Everything would have been easier if I had transitioned during my teens...
I agree. If I could have done one thing differently, that would probably be it.
I disagree with the "everything" part.
Melissa
Quote from: Melissa on September 10, 2006, 12:05:34 AM
Quote from: umop ap!sdn on September 09, 2006, 11:16:37 PM
Quote from: Tinkerbell on September 09, 2006, 09:54:45 PM
Everything would have been easier if I had transitioned during my teens...
I agree. If I could have done one thing differently, that would probably be it.
I disagree with the "everything" part.
Melissa
For me, it would have been. :-*
tinkerbell :icon_chick:
Quote from: Tinkerbell on September 10, 2006, 12:17:42 AM
For me, it would have been. :-*
tinkerbell :icon_chick:
Really? Could you have afforded HRT if you transitioned at 16? Were your parents completely supportive? What about transitioning in a hostile school environment? What year was it when you were 16? I thought being a transsexual was more frowned upon then.
Melissa
Hey, I could have made the money to pay for surgery at 16!
It wasn't out of the realm of possibility.
Even when I did get it, I only had to come up with $7500.
Cindi
Quote from: Cindianna_Jones on September 10, 2006, 01:00:07 AM
Hey, I could have made the money to pay for surgery at 16!
It wasn't out of the realm of possibility.
Even when I did get it, I only had to come up with $7500.
Cindi
true! very true! ;)
tinkerbell :icon_chick:
I think my parents could have afforded to get me HRT at 16. It was the '90s for what that's worth. No, I don't suppose they could have payed for me to have SRS. But it would have been easier for me if they could. :)
Well, I might say it would be easier if I transitioned at 18 AND had supportive parents.
Melissa
...I'd been born female. Yeah, I know, too obvious.
There is no good answer in my case. I wouldn't want to send my children back. I have a granddaughter I adore. I would never have met the woman who is the love of my life, even though things have turned a bit strange for us.
So my best answer:
...I didn't have to deal with intolerant ignorant people.
Dawn
Life would be a whole lot easier if today's society had adopted the beliefs of the Native Americans. Back then we were called Berdache and Two Spirit. They believed our presence in their tribes was a blessing from the Gods. They recognized we could relate to both male and female alike. It was considered a gift. We were often healers, counselors, tribal chiefs and held other places of respect and honor.
Being accepted and respected for who I am, not how I look, that's all I ask for.
Being a Two Spirit back then, I wonder if I'd be seeking physical change like I am now. Something tells me no.
... if people, and parents especially, would be less ignorant about what this is and what it's all about and therefore be able to accept me/us as a legitimate part of humanity.
Government funded SRS (a la Netherlands) might be nice to!
helen
I thought about this one for awhile and I wanted to say that things would have been easier if I had started this as a teen instead of keeping it bottled up inside me but....I realized that I had no support network back then...I had no understanding of what I was feeling...I had nothing but anger, sadness and a lot of confusion.
So....as it stands now, "This would be a whole lot easier if" --- My mother would accept me. I try so very hard to push it out of my mind but, the truth is, her refusal to accept or even talk to me has been the one thing that tears at any hope of happiness I may ever find..
...I didn't have to deal with Real Life while transition happened.
Just stop the world, let me get off and then back on in three years. (C'mon, a girl c'n dream, can't she?)
Okay, something more realistic. ...I didn't have to worry about shocks -- major life upheavals like cars that die or traffic accidents, unfair treatment at work, family members that totally reject me because I'm finally becoming my true self, etc -- until after transition is substantially completed. Is there some sort of Transition Insurance Policy I can buy that will indemnify me against such bad stuff?
Karen
If you ever find it, let me know. :)
This would be a whole lot easier if I could perform ONE action, just one, without facing a karmic penalty for it. Like a 'get out of karma free' card.
OR
This would be a whole lot easier if I were an atheist.
coming to the root of the problem, if i'd never been born. Being not so drastic, if people were so kind to try to understand my situation.
Quote from: Jessica on September 11, 2006, 08:52:46 AMThis would be a whole lot easier if I were an atheist.
We have cookies (I'm kidding, I'm kidding!)
In all seriousness, I guess it does make some things easier but my counsellor says that it can be good to have a spiritual community to turn to for support. I don't know what your beliefs are and therefore which community you can turn to, but I certainly hope they would support you in this! ;)
this would be a whole lot easier if i knew my family would accept it, which i know down to my core that they wont.
oh, and winning the lottery :p
I hope my comment about the cookies isn't in bad taste, knowing what I know now that I didn't know then. :-\
Don't worry, if your cookies taste bad, we won't eat them. ;)
Melissa
Thanks. I needed cheering up. :D
Quote from: Julie Marie on September 10, 2006, 09:38:25 AM
Life would be a whole lot easier if today's society had adopted the beliefs of the Native Americans. Back then we were called Berdache and Two Spirit. They believed our presence in their tribes was a blessing from the Gods. They recognized we could relate to both male and female alike. It was considered a gift. We were often healers, counselors, tribal chiefs and held other places of respect and honor.
Being accepted and respected for who I am, not how I look, that's all I ask for.
Being a Two Spirit back then, I wonder if I'd be seeking physical change like I am now. Something tells me no.
I thought "berdache" was a little offensive... It's one of those French slurs--like Sioux (snake--meaning "kept boy" or prostitute... I could be wrong, that's just what I read about it, though I know people don't mean it that way. Like the whites calling my peeps "Chippewa" which was just them being too lazy to say Ojibwe. Not really offensive but not respectful either...
Sometimes I get a little sad thinking about what Native society might be like today if it had been allowed to proceed on its own instead of being being stamped out. My dad grew up in a white foster home, and my Ojibwe language teacher was from the generation of kids they put in boarding schools and beat if they spoke the native language. But my dad was actually courted by the Navy because he was Native and they assumed he would be able to speak Navajo... When they found out he couldn't (not even close to the right tribe, and brainwashed to boot) they kind of marginalized him.
In the Native culture I might have been more accepted, yeah, but I dunno, I think I'd still find my body parts incorrect and just be unable to do anything about it. If native society was still intact right up to modern day and I could have access to hormones somehow, well, that would be awesome.
But then, I'm 3/4 Scandanavian so maybe I should be more worried about the plight of the Fins or something :P
What would make everything easier? If they could grow me a real penis. I would have started transitioning when I was 18 if that was possible, but knowing it wasn't was the main reason I ruled transition out.
going with what Dawn said, things would be a whole lot easier if I had just been a boy when I was born.
but, getting (only slightly) closer to reality, things would be a whole lot easier for me if:
* scientists figured out what in the brain defines gender
* then developed a way to test for gender between the ears
* and paved the way for GID to be viewed in the same way as being born with any other physical defect where it is considered "normal" to attempt to fix it with an operation
* and therefore got rid of the social stigma.
::sigh::
Joseph
Step 1 would seem to be well on its way, specifically the BSTc. :)
Quote from: umop ap!sdn on September 15, 2006, 10:37:21 PM
Step 1 would seem to be well on its way, specifically the BSTc. :)
Not as well on its way as I'd like:
"But a study by Wilson C.J. Chung and colleagues published in the 1 February 2002 Journal of Neuroscience complicates this picture. This group, also from the Netherlands Institute for Brain Research, reported that BSTc size differentiation between men and women became significant only in adulthood, implying that the phenomenon may be more effect than cause."
www dot ehponline dot org/members/2005/113-10/focus.html
I've felt like a boy my entire life. If the BSTc doesn't become sexually dimorphic until adulthood, there's something else going on between the ears. Plus to my knowledge, all we have on the BSTc topic are those two studies from 1995 and 2000, and very few scientists out there are trying to figure out what causes GID / defines gender in the brain. This is why I said "only slightly" closer to reality.
Joseph
Hi Elizabeth,
Before I answer may I offer some information to you that was in your post? TG,TS,IS etc is what we are, but it does not decide or have anything to do with our sexual orientation. Think for a minute where you point out some 'experts' say where a TG,TS,IS etc is attracted to person who is same sex as your birth sex. This seems to be based on some social concept to me. They seem to be saying that as women we should be attracted to men (and vice versa on the other side of the coin). If this statement held true then why do we have gay men or lesbians in the world? I am, as was just diagnosed, an IS and am turned off heavily by men. I am still deeply attracted to my wife, and her to me luckily. I have organs,brain etc of a woman, in other words totally woman but I am proudly lesbian. Hope this helps you.
The one thing that I would wish for is that my mom stops her denial and accept me as the daughter I really am. As for learning earlier, I feel God held it inside me hiding it as long as He did for a reason, such as I have my doubts my wife would've said I do if we knew earlier. My opinon mind you. And I would've probably blamed myself more for the rape I endured a lot more at the time (counselling would've changed that) and suicide would've been stronger I think.
Well, since I could wish all I want to transition as a teen, I know it is prbably best that i'm 22 and in the midst of transitioning. As a teen I was living in a mid-western town of 5000 and having two parents brought up in strict religious homes. (Catholic) Despite all their preaching of tolorance I knew they would ignore any indications of me being trans unless I forced it on them, then it would have gotten nasty. When I can out last year and to this day they still haven't changed their attitudes from what I feared they would, and I hold little hope now for any change in the future.
No, what I truly think would make this whole process easier is if I could get a female roomate who was my friend. One who wouldn't necissarily go out of her way or think this is all 'neat' or 'cool'. But one who wouldn't be ashamed,fear, or let me dress in something that looks terrible on me. A girl who would help me learn the ropes and to fit in as best as possible.
That or maybe slightly smaller feet. ;)
... if when a child is born, nobody immediately labeled them as a certain gender based on anatomy. Let a child wait until they grow up to choose which gender they want to be, if any. ;D
that would've made my life easier
Zythyra
Quote from: zythyra on September 21, 2006, 12:56:45 PM
... if when a child is born, nobody immediately labeled them as a certain gender based on anatomy. Let a child wait until they grow up to choose which gender they want to be, if any. ;D
that would've made my life easier
Zythyra
That's kinda what my mom tried to do. I'll do it for mine too.
Quote from: zythyra on September 21, 2006, 12:56:45 PM
... if when a child is born, nobody immediately labeled them as a certain gender based on anatomy. Let a child wait until they grow up to choose which gender they want to be, if any. ;D
Hear hear! :)
i have thought this one and my first and last answer is i have no regrets!
however in between the first and last answer :D...well i would have had a few things changed ...
- I had started shoping at Kaufman's and Macy's Women's dept store earlier
- I had not been so trusty of people that called themselves my friends at work just to get the dirt on me and then backstab me
- I agree liking and enjoying to live with men would make it easier
- Iron clad law that penalizes managers that allow or cultivate descrimination towards TGs, and support total custody of children
- my aunt used to say that i should had been born a woman, i wish i had said : Yes! how are you gonna help (i was 15)
- that the militay supported LGBT lifestyles ...certainly it would have made a difference then and now with my vet bills and any HRT medication
but all that pain is worth the life i have with my kids and grand kids, no regrets :D truelly
sheila18