As I usually do from time to time, I wanted to gather the opinion/experiences of others on a particular subject. Inquiring minds and all that... ::)
When I began my transition 2 1/2 years ago, I imagined quite a different woman than the one I am today. Some compromises were made, as I realized that what I thought I wanted and what I actually accepted during my transition, were two different things.
1.) I thought I would have SRS, but instead I've only received an Orchi, and I'm actually quite comfortable with that. I may go further, or I may not, it all depends on my other dreams and aspirations, and what I decide will take precedence.
2.) I thought HRT would have done more. Now, while I have been on hormones since the beginning, and the changes have been substantial, they are not what I had hoped for despite being realistic about the effects from the beginning. I'm still, sadly, a AA to A cup and wear enhancers most of the time, just to avoid any weird looks from people who might question me. I've more or less accepted this.
3.) To get to where I am now, I initially thought I would have to wear makeup constantly, go to voice therapy, have electrolysis/laser, FFS, and a whole bunch of other procedures. Today, I hardly wear makeup at all and never have any problems, my voice is actually quite fine and I have recieived comments stating I should be a singer, and my facial hair has been handled just fine without electro/laser. As far as FFS or other surgical procedures, HRT has done a fine job of feminizing my face and body.
Except for my breasts. I really don't get that part. :icon_confused2:
4.) Body wise, I've compromised on many initial thoughts I had prior to transition. I haven't become the thin, knock-out girl I thought I would be. Granted, I'm attractive, but not a knock-out. I'm not thin, I'm fairly average. I have back problems and my back is messed up, and always will be, so it's not the greatest body. However, I can dress up to the 9's with the best of them.
5.) My hair, surprisingly, is naturally curly and pretty wavy. I thought I would be able to grow out straight, long locks or wear it short during the summer months. Unfortunately, if I keep it short, it poofs out everywhere and looks like a train wreck, so I have to keep it long and tend to have it back in a ponytail most of the time.
That's all I can think of right now, I might have some more later on.
Anyone else care to share?
I don't know if I can even describe it. I'm only half a year into hrt, but I feel like I can't recognize my face in the mirror anymore. Nevertheless, since I'm a bit older than you (30), I think more and more that I'll really want to have FFS. I think I'll be able to get by without, but I don't think I'll ever be comfortable.
I can't let myself think about SRS, since it's so far off, and I have so much to do before it's even a possibility.
My breasts are growing slowly. I have no idea how well they will develop; I figure that AA is the minimum (they're pretty cloes to there as it is), and D is the maximum (on par with the women in my immediate family).
I can't believe how much I value facial hair removal. It makes me so happy for the couple of weeks each month after the previous hair has fallen out and it none has grown back yet. But it is so frustrating when it inevitable does.
Other than my breasts, I'm fairly happy with my physical proportions, though I certainly wish they were more feminine. I always think it's weird when women tell my I have nice legs. I really don't; I think some women just don't like having curvy hips.
I can't believe what a pain hair is. It always has been while presenting as a guy; it's worse now.
The biggest surprise to me is how easy it is to fit in among women, and how much more girly I tend to act. I never thought of myself as terribly girly (for a girl, that is), but I guess I'm less of a tomboy than I figured.
When I began HRT, 15 months ago, I thought my bustline would be better than it is. But I am happy that most of the time is is all me. :D
I knew that my hips and behind would not be any better then it is, but I have ways around that. ::)
Looks wise, I am pleased that my face is more feminine than when I began, I feel that I blend in quite well. Except for the hair, but that is a work in progress and that is what wigs are for. Only time will tell in that department.
Body hair is fading and becoming less and less. Facial hair is under destruction.
I knew that I would not be a bombshell, not at 55, but I am told all the time I look a lot younger. Which makes me happy. I get flirting looks from guys and some girls, so something must be coming together.
I am happy, all told, with me as I am turning out. I am no raving beauty, but I am not discussing ether. And as long as My Girl is happy with me, that is a really big bonus.
I am, for the most part, happy with things as they are now. And they will keep changing as time goes on.
FFS, no I am not even looking at that. SRS, most definitely. BA is still a possibility, but in the future. Maybe.
Janet
Quote from: Janet Lynn on July 13, 2009, 10:51:07 PM
I knew that I would not be a bombshell, not at 55, but I am told all the time I look a lot younger.
Funny, that. People now consistently think I'm five years younger than I am (which is fairly significant, being 30). In boy mode, pre-hrt/laser, people would guess my age almost exactly right. I wonder if that's because people are used to women lying about their age, or maybe they're used to low-balling their guesses about women's ages, so I actually look more like an average 30-year-old woman, who (on average) says she's 27.
But I do think my face looks somewhat more youthful.
maybe they're used to low-balling their guesses about women's ages
Damn skippy. Anyone who has ever missed by going OVER, has learned that lesson, big time.
Fae hon,
Personally, I think you have accomplished so much with minimal surgeries. Hon, breast size is hereditary. How's the breast size of the natal women in your family? Don't be surprised that they average an A cup too. Now, sweetie, it sounds like so much is going very well for you!! The hottest women have A cups... Milla Jovovich come to mind, and let's see Linda Hamilton comes to view too.
Breast size does not define a woman. Gosh, to be able to say that you can dress to the '9's with the best, is just so awesome hon!!!
I am sure, you are just gorgeous!! Hon, we are all our own worst critics!!
Be beautiful, be you!!!
Love
Brenda
After nearly a decade of HRT plus the odd periods of HRT through the 1980's and 1990's I must confess that I am disappointed in the results.
I thought I would do well considering my small frame, small facial feature's, female sounding voice and also not being very tall. I also sometimes got taken as female long before I started transition. So I thought I would be a good candidate.
But the disappointments are overwelming. Especially the lack of breast growth and lack of fat re-distribution which is quite devistating. But for some reason I never give up and keep trying different meds and different ways to achieve my goals.
HRT varies so much on each individual and I can't say it doesn't work because some seem to get good results and it has a lot to do with genetic profile and how you body excepts these receptors. I also haven't been on injectable HRT (only pills and patches) and this may have a bearing on my progress? but injectable HRT is not legal in the U.K and so has proved difficult to access or get aproval to try it. On the other hand the oral medication may be just as effective?
My main problem is trying to change my body shape and create less upper body mass and more lower body mass. I try and put on weight and eat quite a bit but the fat goes on the wrong places (i.e the belly area) and not on my face, butt or legs.
I will keep working on it but lately after all this time of trying I do feel quite desperate and tearful sometimes.
Although I lived part of my teens en femme and thought I had an inkling of the person I would become, I was very much mistaken.
With SRS/transition at 24 I was amazed just how easy and natural everything was. Trying to pass as a boy had always been difficult and life was very confusing but, as a young woman, it was as comfortable as an old slipper and I just blossomed. I was nearly the opposite of what people before had perceived. I was out-going, sociable, funny, dynamic, and full of life. People liked me and enjoyed my company. I began to realize that this was the real me, the girl unbound, free and natural.
Physically I was no raving beauty but definitely cute, not a ravishing figure but certainly enough to turn heads in a bikini. But, personality wise, I had become more than I ever dreamed possible.
That was over 35 years ago now.
Quote from: bernii on July 14, 2009, 02:11:26 AM
Fae hon,
Personally, I think you have accomplished so much with minimal surgeries. Hon, breast size is hereditary. How's the breast size of the natal women in your family? Don't be surprised that they average an A cup too. Now, sweetie, it sounds like so much is going very well for you!! The hottest women have A cups... Milla Jovovich come to mind, and let's see Linda Hamilton comes to view too.
Breast size does not define a woman. Gosh, to be able to say that you can dress to the '9's with the best, is just so awesome hon!!!
I am sure, you are just gorgeous!! Hon, we are all our own worst critics!!
Be beautiful, be you!!!
Love
Brenda
Brenda, thank you! As for my family, I believe my mother is a C cup, but my aunts average somewhere around a B cup, I think. I honestly don't know. I've accepted that I have small breasts, and I know that doesn't make me less of a woman, just wish they were
a little bigger. :D
As for dressing to the 9's, I don't do that very often, I'm def. girly but most of the time I guess I'm a tomboy. The last time I dressed to the 9's was in college about a year ago for a formal dinner/dance with friends. It was a casino-themed event...THAT was so much fun! ;D
Aside from the job situation, my cat dying, and slicing my hand and getting stitches...yeah, everything's great. :laugh:
Quote from: Naturally Blonde on July 14, 2009, 05:26:42 AMI will keep working on it but lately after all this time of trying I do feel quite desperate and tearful sometimes.
NB, I'm sorry that HRT hasn't worked out very well for you, but as Brenda stated, looks do not a woman make. :icon_hug:
Dry those tears and chin up, things will get better.
Here is my experience.
I'll be 58, next Sunday. I have been on HRT since 2002. I am mostly pleased with the results. I have a B cup and much of my male fat has moved to places that I like.
I had an orchi six months ago and I am very pleased with the results of that. It has awakened my libido and the new kind of orgasms are incredible. I so wanted to go on to vaginoplasty but with my financial situation and family that is beyond hoping for. I am still getting aftershocks from the reaction to my orchi from the family. I'd leave but can't support myself.
My beard is light red or white and very thin hair so shaving and foundation gets me by. I desperately want to have permanent hair removal there but again finances prevent that. Mostly it is not for passing that I want it but instead, I want a smooth feminine feel on my face.
My head hair has stopped receding and some came back so my hair is now one of my best features. Baldness runs in my family so this is a big thing for me.
I lost a lot of muscle mass which improved my looks too. I have a Scandinavian figure which like the women in my family, is pretty much broad shouldered and thick waisted. That I am so not pleased with. I long for those hourglass types.
My face didn't get too much Testosterone effects when I matured so my brow bossing is minimal and my jaw is only a little squared. As a result, with the soft tissue changes of HRT, I look pretty feminine. I count on passing everywhere I go and have only been "sir'ed" one time. I pass around little children too but I have not had much time with teenage girls who would be the acid test. The bottom line is that other than a blepharoplasty for my sagging eyelids, I don't desire any plastic surgery. Incredibly, my family will support a bleph... Go figure.
My voice is still a work in progress since I still have to concentrate on it especially when I am upset or tired but mostly I pass even on the phone.
I have all the legal stuff done and am legally female now so there are no identity problems. I even got my passport. However, the credit reporting agencies informed me that they will keep my male name in my file forever so full stealth is impossible. That sucks.
On the relationship side, my wife has become a rather irritable sister to me who occasionally jabs me. While we live in the same house, we live like unrelated housemates. We plan to stay together for convenience sake but little else. I am incredibly lonely as I am a very emotional and sensitive person who needs intimacy with a spouse. I still identify as a lesbian but I do now understand why some men are attractive. In the right situation, I could see myself intimate with a man but the idea pales in contrast to a woman.
So, in summary, I am more feminine and pass better than I thought I would but I am still not satisfied with what I hoped for.
Quote from: Fae on July 14, 2009, 11:47:36 AM
NB, I'm sorry that HRT hasn't worked out very well for you, but as Brenda stated, looks do not a woman make. :icon_hug:
Dry those tears and chin up, things will get better.
I know you are well meaning but looks are important and the objective is to have a female body and not a man's body. If I wanted a man's body I wouldn't be TS.
Quote from: tekla on July 13, 2009, 11:55:13 PM
maybe they're used to low-balling their guesses about women's ages
Damn skippy. Anyone who has ever missed by going OVER, has learned that lesson, big time.
so true
Quote from: tekla on July 13, 2009, 11:55:13 PM
maybe they're used to low-balling their guesses about women's ages
Damn skippy. Anyone who has ever missed by going OVER, has learned that lesson, big time.
Frankly, if people are low-balling their estimate because telling women they look older than they are is a faux pas -- hey, that's fine with me. Either I look younger than I am, or they are treating me like any other woman. Either way, I win. :D
Works with weight too, always go 10 - 15 lbs under what you think is the lowest possible number.
Quote from: Fae on July 13, 2009, 09:45:01 PM5.) My hair, surprisingly, is naturally curly and pretty wavy. I thought I would be able to grow out straight, long locks or wear it short during the summer months. Unfortunately, if I keep it short, it poofs out everywhere and looks like a train wreck, so I have to keep it long and tend to have it back in a ponytail most of the time.
I used to wear mine pulled back in a ponytail all the time but finally decided it was a horrible thing to keep doing to my hair, so I've worn it down for some years. But long hair also frizzes out pretty good in the rain. My hair was one of only two things I had going for me coming into this, the other being having no adam's apple.
But I'm only a few months into HRT and fairly pleased with the results so far- breasts, waistline, lessening body hair, softer skin. I hate still having to shave my face! Though I don't have to nearly as much as before after some laser and hormones. I think I'm still in the stage of trying to remind myself to just be happy with whatever I get, because it's more than I had before. Not always easy for me to remember that though. I just want the woman I become to be a happy woman, whatever that means.
Quote from: Maggie Kay on July 14, 2009, 12:17:54 PMHowever, the credit reporting agencies informed me that they will keep my male name in my file forever so full stealth is impossible. That sucks.
Doesn't your entire credit history only go back 7 years or so?
Quote from: FairyGirl on July 15, 2009, 12:50:36 AM
Doesn't your entire credit history only go back 7 years or so?
I think that's just how long it take for negative items to stop affecting your credit score, but the records are still there.
I can't really think of anything. I'm pretty much how I thought I would be. Life's going pretty much how I imagined.
The credit reporting system only uses records from the last 7 years - for the most part - but the records, like all records, live on a long, long time.
I spoke to an agent at Experian and she said that my old name would always appear on the report including all the misspellings. Further she said that the only way to eradicate the name would be to contact every creditor I have ever had and have them report it to the agency. All agencies told me that nothing I could send them would make them change anything only a creditor can. They also will not accept a court order as a public record to change a name.
Kay
Quote from: FairyGirl on July 15, 2009, 12:50:36 AM
I just want the woman I become to be a happy woman, whatever that means.
Amen to that sister. ;)
Quote from: tekla on July 15, 2009, 07:46:19 AM
The credit reporting system only uses records from the last 7 years - for the most part - but the records, like all records, live on a long, long time.
I have never had a credit card, and I've only taken out three loans in the past - all from the same credit union, and they changed my records. Haven't really bothered checking my credit records since I probably don't have many considering I'm still pretty young. Think I should? Suggestions?
I believe that there is some law that allows you one free report per year. There are three major reporting services. I will guarantee you it's in your best interest to know. But check here....
http://www.ftc.gov/bcp/edu/pubs/consumer/credit/cre34.shtm (http://www.ftc.gov/bcp/edu/pubs/consumer/credit/cre34.shtm)
https://www.annualcreditreport.com/cra/index.jsp (https://www.annualcreditreport.com/cra/index.jsp)
you should absolutely check your credit! not only to make sure that everything's legit, but also so you can see exactly what ends up on your credit report.
Thanks Tekla, I will look into that. I see ads all the time for "free credit reporting" but didn't know there was a government site to get it from.
Not all 'free things' are really free, I think the one I posted was, but let me know if I'm wrong.
The one Tekla listed is a service that does offer a free credit report from all three agencies but you get all sorts of offers to decline before they give it to you. There is one other site FreeCreditReport that I don't use asks for a credit card even for a free report to "Set up an account" right...
Maggie
I have a very little/ or nothing old documents necessery here. The lure of full stealth is really big. :)
Pretransition, when I envisioned the red haired beauty which I would, undoubtedly
become, I saw a figure of grace, beautifully attired, perfectly made up, elegant, a vision
of pure femininity. What I found in truth was that if that vision were to ever become a reality,
I would have traded one facade for an other, each one being equally unnatural for me.
I have found the place in the spectrum where I am most comfortable
is towards the center but definitely on the female end.
Manly, man...l...l...l...l...l...l...l...Center...l...l...ME...l...l...l...l...Girlie, girl
YMMV
Quote from: Maggie Kay on July 14, 2009, 12:17:54 PM
Here is my experience.
I'll be 58, next Sunday. I have been on HRT since 2002. I am mostly pleased with the results. I have a B cup and much of my male fat has moved to places that I like..........
Happy birthday, sis. I was 58 last November.
Wow.....so many similarities....
I'm sorry about your situation with your s.o.
GET THE BLEPHAROPLASTY.....You will LOVE it. I used to look like Garfield the cat, such droopy lids, and my levator muscles needed resecting....apparently congenital. Oherwise, I had no other facial surgery.
Best....
Bev
Post Merge: July 15, 2009, 11:39:06 PM
Quote from: heatherrose on July 15, 2009, 02:08:58 PM
Pretransition, when I envisioned the red haired beauty which I would, undoubtedly
become, I saw a figure of a grace, beautifully attired, perfectly made up, elegant, a vision
of pure femininity.
.....I have found the place in the spectrum where I am most comfortable
is towards the center but definitely on the female end.
I'm glad you found your place of comfort. Me....? I thought I would be more in the tomboy part of the spectrum, but Marcy says I am definitely very girly. She thinks it's sooo funny, because I was such a guy's guy. And now, I can't walk anything like a guy, or make facial expressions that aren't girly.......sigh.....I'm a victim of estrogen reality.
Life is good :)
Bev
Quote from: tekla on July 15, 2009, 12:39:43 PM
Not all 'free things' are really free, I think the one I posted was, but let me know if I'm wrong.
Nope, they are free and it turns out, my old name doesn't even show up on any of them, so looks like I may have the option of going stealth if I wanted! :D Lucky me.
Quote from: Maggie Kay on July 15, 2009, 12:58:48 PM
There is one other site FreeCreditReport that I don't use asks for a credit card even for a free report to "Set up an account" right...
The "free" part is usually for a certain trial period, and if you don't cancel before the trial period ends, you're basically consenting to them charging you a monthly fee. This is according to the legit gov't site that Tekla listed perviously. Use that one.
Quote from: Miss Bev on July 15, 2009, 11:28:22 PM
I'm a victim of estrogen reality.
Life is good :)
Bev
Haha, I love that Bev. I'll have to use that. ;)
Quote from: Miss Bev on July 15, 2009, 11:28:22 PM.......sigh.....I'm a victim of estrogen reality.
Ain't in wonderful? For me "The Edge of Rage" has been blunted and it has been
such a freeing experience. If this were as far as I COULD go, knowing that I am
no longer a "Testosterone Puppet" would make the journey thus far, worth it.
Everyone tells me I'm still the goofy, sprit finger flaunting person I've always been. Lol
Still totally into my body, nursing, and planning to do the whole surrogate thing in the next 5 years or so to have kids when im about 27. (I will be done with medical school by that point or PA school). In my experience you're the same person afterwards as you where before. You just look a little different
Define "sprit finger flaunting person".
:icon_blink:
Spirit Finger (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YDbnkfHtD_E#lq-lq2-hq)
Very hands on with the signs at the end of cheers like peace sign, rock on sign, the kiss me sign and so on. Cheerleading was a really good outlet for me in Junior high and High school.
knowing that I am no longer a "Testosterone Puppet"
Still does not mean you're not a puppet, it's just an argument about who, or what is in control, either way, its not you.
oh yeah and Firefly was good. happy to know im not the only one with it on blu ray
Quote from: tekla on July 16, 2009, 11:07:04 PM
Still does not mean you're not a puppet...
True, but the best place to start cutting strings is from the inside out.
Well as some one who studied with (and under) Margo Rose, a puppet without stings is just kindling. A little lighter fluid. A match. S'mores.
Quote from: tekla on July 16, 2009, 11:45:15 PM
Well as some one who studied with (and under) Margo Rose, a puppet without stings is just kindling. A little lighter fluid. A match. chocolate. Graham Crackers. Marshmallow. S'mores.
all better now.
Quote from: tekla on July 16, 2009, 11:45:15 PM
Well as some one who studied with (and under) Margo Rose, a puppet without stings
is just kindling. A little lighter fluid. A match. S'mores.
...then arose from the ashes, a spirit unencumbered by the confines of the physical.
Do you even begin to have a clue as to what I said?
You were insinuating that I am a puppet to some ideology and that
if I wasn't a puppet to something I would only be a hollow shell.
Post Merge: July 17, 2009, 12:23:20 AM
Did you even have a clue as to what I was talking about?
Understanding Margo Rose - which is beyond you, or at least your google skills - is to know that puppets are controlled by someone, somewhere. It's not a shell, its a facade, real different deal.
I kind of figured your answer, delivered while looking down your nose, would be insulting.
No, quite the opposite.
What Margo, and her husband of many years, Jim, taught me was.
I was the puppet, and the puppet was me. It only moved in the freedom that I gave to myself. That if the puppet was stiff, and clumsy, and kind of jerky, then that was not the puppet, that was me. To the degree that the puppet was fluid, was graceful, was liquid, well that was me too - it was a matter of challenging myself to be, through the puppet, what I really was. That the puppet was not something on strings, but rather, those strings were attached to my heart and to my soul and reflected that.
I look at it as if I (my spirit)
am wearing a diving suit (my flesh),
which I equipt as I see fit.
I believe that is pretty close
to what your trying to say.
Not even
Re: The Woman You Thought You'd Be vs. The Woman You Became?
I haven't reached that point of saying the woman I became because it hasn't happened. I'm not gonna lie. The whole thing is a disappointment and after 10 years of HRT it's not working. Some might like to kid themselves and some it might have worked well for them, but for me I haven't achieved what I set out to do.
If reading some of these posts didn't make me sad and feel disappointed, it would be funny.
(not yours, NB)
Bev
Forgive this off-topic post...
Quote from: Tristan on July 16, 2009, 11:14:28 PM
oh yeah and Firefly was good. happy to know im not the only one with it on blu ray
(assuming you're referencing my quote/avatar)
I don't have it on Blu Ray, but I do have the series on DVD and the Serenity Collector's Edition ;D
Tekla, Heatherrose, please be friendly in my thread, and everyone try to stay on topic. Thanks. :police:
...Now back to your regularly scheduled program.
Though my posts have remained civil,
my apologies for going off topic.
Quote from: Naturally Blonde on July 17, 2009, 04:14:21 AM
Re: The Woman You Thought You'd Be vs. The Woman You Became?
I haven't reached that point of saying the woman I became because it hasn't happened. I'm not gonna lie. The whole thing is a disappointment and after 10 years of HRT it's not working. Some might like to kid themselves and some it might have worked well for them, but for me I haven't achieved what I set out to do.
I don't really have high expectations for hormones. If I were 17, that would be one thing, but I'm not. I have much higher expectations for surgury that hrt, but mostly my expectations are of myself and my ability to work with what I've got. How has that part gone (if that made any sense)?
For me, I transitioned with the assumption that I would seldom pass. But now I find that I usually do. That is the biggest difference I find between what I thought and the reality. I always expected to out myself every time I would open my mouth to speak. Well, my voice isn't good enough on the phone, but in person, people I talk to still consider me female. And now that I regularly see women who are taller than I am and women who have smaller breasts than I have, I feel like I really belong in the female world now.
the idea of being able to grow, emotionally, was rather foreign to me prior to HRT, which i wasn't quite able to see until after i was on HRT.
so in that regard, expectations were better than, um, expected. no, wait, results were better than expectations. no, actually, i didn't know what to expect.
physically, i like my body, but, i feel that i pass less these days than LAST YEAR. (sorry, caps).
-ell ell
ps, Tekla, please stop bothering Heatherrose, or i will have to wop you.
Oh, HR looks like she can take care of herself well enough, if she can't she would be the first truck driver I've ever met who can't, as most truck stops exists somewhere between the Wild West and the Barbary Coast.
My Girl can easily take care of herself, me and anyone else who would be in our circle. But she can also be quite the lady.
Janet
Quote from: ell on July 18, 2009, 10:21:12 PM
the idea of being able to grow, emotionally, was rather foreign to me prior to HRT, which i wasn't quite able to see until after i was on HRT.
so in that regard, expectations were better than, um, expected. no, wait, results were better than expectations. no, actually, i didn't know what to expect.
Emotionally? Can you elaborate hon? What did it do?
Quote from: Nero on July 19, 2009, 02:44:03 PM
Emotionally? Can you elaborate hon? What did it do?
well, it gave me the feeling that i could finally access an important part of my brain which i didn't have access to before.
i had a pretty tough go-around in many aspects of my personal life, and, my typical response had mostly been anger.
now, of course, one has a conscience, which tells one not to carry one's anger too far, but, consciences can get to feeling like the rude people who only grudgingly filled in for parents. hostile to the self.
with the result that i was also rude to people. and myself!
well, that doesn't sound so different from lotsa people you meet every day.
i still get angry sometimes, but now i often have the capability to choose how i respond to various stressful stimuli.
it might sound pretty basic and stupid, but this is what i'm supposing is emotional growth.
-ell
I've been on HRT for 11 months now and I'm very pleased with the results so far. my face has started to feminize nicely, although i don't see it as dramatic as my friends say i do see some improvement. my jaw line has softened and my skin is getting softer.
the hair on my chest has gone away but the on my legs and arms it's just gotten softer and lighter.
my breasts have grown to a full b cup and are still growing. the women in my family average a d so if i can grow to a full c i'll be happy. i have decided to live with what i get and not go for for a ba.
before HRT i had a big "ball" on the end of my nose which is almost gone now and my nose seems to be getting smaller too!
the most surprising thing i've found about being on hormones is the way i feel. it's hard to say that i feel like a woman as i've never "been" a woman before however i now feel like me. and that makes this all worth while in my eyes. ;D
I've been on HRT for over a decade and with my clothes off I still look like I have a guys body which to me which is very depressing. I have no hips, no butt, hardly any breast growth and skinny legs. If I became a woman overnight I would be the first to celebrate!
Quote from: Laura91 on July 14, 2009, 12:39:13 PM
Well, I didn't really have high expectations for HRT so it's all been a bonus, I suppose. I have had some decent fat redistribution and my breasts are okay-ish. I don't really care about having huge knockers. :D They always seemed like a bad back waiting to happen in my eyes.
yeah, as a biofemale with "a bad back waiting to happen", trust me, you don't want any more than a C.
Post Merge: August 24, 2009, 06:09:16 AM
Quote from: Alyssa M. on July 14, 2009, 11:54:32 PM
Frankly, if people are low-balling their estimate because telling women they look older than they are is a faux pas -- hey, that's fine with me. Either I look younger than I am, or they are treating me like any other woman. Either way, I win. :D
:D i love that attitude... can i borrow it?
My expectations weren't necessarily physical. I thought I'd be an outgoing, friendly, well-liked chica, but instead I'm very reserved, quiet, and boring, lol. I suppose I can work to change that, but it's the kind of woman I ended up being rather than wanting to be. I'm shy to a fault. I avoid social situations like the plague.
I've been on hormones for about a year now. I knew going into this I'd have minimal breast growth, but I can get a little cleavage if I wear a really good push up bra. Ha. I'm deathly thin right now though, lost some weight being sick when I need to gain! I wanted to be a more developed woman, but I'm starving model thin and it makes me self-conscious, especially because I eat all day!
I am pretty much what I thought I be except I have wavy hair bordering on curly, which is kind of annoying.
Breast development and HRT was kind to me...small C cup here and this is on a relitively small frame.
I did have FFS, but honestly I had a fairly minimal proceedure compared to what most get.
SRS of course was a necessity.
Oh, I guess the one surprising thing is I am in a long term relationship with a guy. Didn't see that one coming. Didn't think I would be sexual to be honest.
Most expectations have been met to be honest.
Very disappointed. No reasonable breast growth, no hips ,no butt and no realistic changes in fat distribution. After a decade of being on HRT you would never know I was ever on the stuff. I have had to over compensate with other things and I don't think I can say the 'woman I became' because for me it hasn't happened yet..
I think many are dillusional in their perspective or just easily pleased.
Quote from: Naturally Blonde on August 24, 2009, 09:11:37 AM
Very disappointed. No reasonable breast growth, no hips ,no butt and no realistic changes in fat distribution. After a decade of being on HRT you would never know I was ever on the stuff. I have had to over compensate with other things and I don't think I can say the 'woman I became' because for me it hasn't happened yet..
I think many are dillusional in their perspective or just easily pleased.
Peoples experiences are going to vary. Most trans women I met ultimately did opt for BA, including young trans women, there is a phrase...your mileage may vary. I heard only 1 in 6 trans women who start hormones after puberty get past tanner stage IV, if they even get that far. I personally am one of the rare cases, but I am also intersex and started HRT before the age of 30. If you started past 35...realistically one should expect very little if anything, no matter how long you are on HRT. If you have not seen changes it is probably the result of bad genetics.
NB -- in another topic, you say "no matter if I'm out in the garden in my jeans and wellies or rolling out of bed and opening the door to the mail man in my nightshirt I usually get called darling," but you claim here (twice in as many posts) that you look like a guy and are horribly dissatified with HRT.So you neither understand why some people might be happy being read as female without putting in a lot of effort to their appearance, nor understand how people might be satisfied that they don't have to?
I'm sorry, but something doesn't compute. Whom exactly are you calling delusional? Those of us that are happy with our appearance, or those who aren't?
Quote from: Alyssa M. on August 24, 2009, 03:02:04 PM
NB -- in another topic, you say "no matter if I'm out in the garden in my jeans and wellies or rolling out of bed and opening the door to the mail man in my nightshirt I usually get called darling," but you claim here (twice in as many posts) that you look like a guy and are horribly dissatified with HRT.So you neither understand why some people might be happy being read as female without putting in a lot of effort to their appearance, nor understand how people might be satisfied that they don't have to?
I'm sorry, but something doesn't compute. Whom exactly are you calling delusional? Those of us that are happy with our appearance, or those who aren't?
I thought some forum members would pick up on that one and Alyssa you are quite right to question what would appear to be conflicting messages. I am percieved as female to the casual observer and did get taken as female quite a lot prior to transition. This is probably down to my small facial feature's, long hair, high voice and I'm not tall. But I don't have the figure or shape of a female. I did think (and many friends thought also) that I was perfect material for a transition. But as time went on I did get depressed because my breast development was very limited and I didn't see any fat re-distribution. I've been on HRT for over 10 years but I think with my clothes off my body looks male, but I don't look male facially which kind of throws the dice in the right direction most of the time.
The second comment I made that you've pointed out about some people being delusional and it does happen. They start to take HRT and think more is happening than it actually is. But every case is very different and my dillusional statement wasn't aimed at anyone in this particular forum but more an observasion regarding some T girls I've met personally in the past.
Okay, that makes sense. My own experience is that things are in flux so much right now that I have no idea how people see me, so my own self-image flips back and forth a lot. If I seem to be delusional in thinking I'm beautiful one minute, the next minute I'll be a wreck and think I shouldn't be seen in public except in a burqa. But my experience with HRT has been pretty dead on my expectations so far, and my endo agrees, so at least that much I think I can trust.
I imagine to get breast growth you'd need more than just the female hormones, or bio-women's breasts would keep growing indefinitely. women can get a bit of breast enlargement on the contraceptive pill, but only one cup-size.
Maybe you need something else that's around during puberty. Taking a stab in the dark maybe growth hormone? but an M2F obviously wouldn't want to be taking growth hormone, because it causes the jaw to become more angular, increased muscle development etc. lots of unwanted effects.
So the poster who said that starting later you shouldn't get your hopes up you're probably right. You probably have a bit of lee-way though. Biological females go through puberty earlier than males. Biological males keep developing until at least their mid twenties (i know my boyfriend has got broader shoulders in the years since we started going out, he hasn't been doing weights, and i'm no cradle snatcher). So you have a bit longer after female puberty when your biologically male body is still in growth mode and will grow in ways you want it to.
Fat distribution i would have thought would work ok though? Bio-women start getting less hour-glass shaped at menopause, so i would have thought that reacted pretty fast to hormones. Maybe you need to compare to the women in your family?
does my arm-chair endocrinology seem to match people's experience?
Quote from: metal angel's signature
I'm now less confused, a big thank you hug for all you guys and girls :D
or at least a bit less destressed by my confusion. But i am even more curious...
it's like any form of science... every one answer inspires many more questions...
...and you now have the intestinal fortitude to seek the answers. :eusa_clap:
:icon_flower: Welcome to this oasis in your decent into the rabbit hole.
Hi all, just happen to be passing through and this topic caught my attention and scanned though the postings.
The woman you thought you'd be I don't believe ever turns out to be the woman you became, and such is life, eh.
Well of course what I had first imagined and pictured myself to be physically before I began transitioning certainly didn't turn out to be who I am today, ten years later, although I pass quite well.
You see when you undergo transitioning from M/F and I believe it is probably the same for a F/M, your whole entire innerself also undergoes a transitional period. And sometimes the inner-one is much more difficult to deal with then the outside or physical one. It is like maturing from childhood to adult hood in the span of two years. Being pulled through a knot hole backwards like my mate says.
A good illustration of this is in this post that Maggie wrote.QuoteOn the relationship side, my wife has become a rather irritable sister to me who occasionally jabs me. While we live in the same house, we live like unrelated housemates. We plan to stay together for convenience sake but little else. I am incredibly lonely as I am a very emotional and sensitive person who needs intimacy with a spouse. I still identify as a lesbian but I do now understand why some men are attractive. In the right situation, I could see myself intimate with a man but the idea pales in contrast to a woman.
So, in summary, I am more feminine and pass better than I thought I would but I am still not satisfied with what I hoped for.
Maggie hon it is how you feel about who you are inside that counts, pitz on everyone else and their canoes they came in on.
Love
Cindy
I always felt that GID was keeping me back and I could never be the man I could be let alone the woman I wanted to be (like Hilary Clinton or Nancy Pelosi). After transitioning I did become briefly the woman I thought I should be. I sat on multiple government boards and made frequent trips for the Feds to DC. I conducted training for the State. I was a frequent keynote speaker. I hobnobed with politicians and even the cops. Sadly it came to an end when the grant expired and now I'm just Grandma which is a real big deal.
Sounds about right xsocialworker, meet another xsocialworker
I just believe that the rough times in my past leading to my transition was like I were being led to where I was supposed to be. Sooner or later I had to become myself, it was inevitable. One cannot live not being who they know themselves to be deep within, it is a soul depth instinct.
I was a social worker for 20 years, and a damned good one who was dedicated to his the first ten years and hers on the last ten years.
I am now retired but still do volunteer work at a local woman's shelter for a couple of days per week. Today I am content with my accomplishments and I enjoy sharing my life's experiences if I believe it will help another. My life's experience is so varied that my story can be easily applied as a teaching tool for both the TS community as easily with the cisgendered.
I don't even give it a second thought anymore in allowing my feelings to flow where ever required. Feelings I was never able to express before, and had to keep to myself, suppressing them way down deep inside. But this world failed to kill them in my previous life, because I refused to let that happen.
Love,
Cindy
Ladies your stories motivates me thank you!
After 9 months on HRT my mental changes have been wonderful. I feel femmine in every way and have completely eliminated male type thoughts. I am not aggressive and I am at peace with my female self. I have always been a woman inside and now I have completely accepted and am very happy with my womanhood. Physically things are going well with facial hair and slow breast being the only problem. I am going to Texas shortly to fix the beard problem. My physical characteristics have helped greatly as I have small bones and at 5'7" and 140Lbs, I am in the normal female range. Even though I am older I am happy with my progress. I plan SRS and will have an orci shortly. My biggest regret is not accepting my womanhood years ago but it is never to late to find your true self. I feel so happy when I get up every morning and look at my femmine hairless body and enjoy putting on my makeup and dressing for the day. I have not been sirred in months. I love being a woman.
Pam
Yeah. Thanks Pam. Guess there is more to being a woman than being a hard-nosed community activist. OMG!