After reading Dee's encounter with Richard Cranium, I got to thinking. Where is the scariest place you have been in your transition?
I will start. When I first came out there were two that were the scariest place I have ever been. The first was Walmart. And it was the first of the month ( every person gets their food stamps ) and ours is filled with Hispanics. Now I have nothing against Hispanics, but the men seem to be very aggressive around my area. I suspect many are in gangs, because we have problems with that sort of thing here.
Any way, I was worried about being approached and confronted. But while I got some looks and snickers, it was pretty much just another day shopping.
The second was when a friend and I went to the local truck stop for dinner. Truckers can be homo/transphobic and I was worried. But again, some looks but everyone was perfectly fine. I have even been in the bar there and got hit on by the very people I feared.
Get out there, fear your fears and get living. I have learned that they can stop me from being me.
Janet
In the back of a van, semi-conscious, after being abducted by 2 men off a Toronto street in the late evening in 1966 and being driven toward an abandoned industrial area.
So far, getting hooted/catcalled a bit at the gym when leaving for the day, it was at night, and I think that the people who did it either felt bad or got a talking to, since it's not been repeated, and I think it may have been because they thought I was a ->-bleeped-<-gy GUY instead of a FTM, because they saw me leaving the women's shower and figured I'm going the other way lol. But I was wondering for a bit there if I was going to have to put up with a lot of harassment there.
In a crowded men's room in a truck stop in Northern Arizona when I was just (barely) passing. I walked in, did my thing in a stall, washed hands and left pronto, didn't make eye contact with anyone to see if anyone raised an eyebrow or not. But I was scared as hell and at the time remember WTF do you think you're doing?! I was also 3 weeks post hysto and in no shape to defend myself at all if confronted physically. But I had been on a high after being sirred several times after getting off the plane, so I went for it.
Jay
I was going to say Utah until I read the during trans. part. The first time I walked out my front door dressed as a female, hooker makeup job & all. The second scariest was being at work & being forced to use the mens changing room & restroom even after submitting two drs letters to hr explaining my situation need to use gender appropriate facilities. I wasn't scared of the guys, they never hassled me. I was scared of myself & gonig sprayn' pray postal.
Quote from: sneakersjay on October 23, 2009, 03:52:24 PM
In a crowded men's room in a truck stop in Northern Arizona when I was just (barely) passing.
I'm curious as to what part of Northern Arizona because I live there
Quote from: Janet Lynn on October 23, 2009, 09:24:27 AM
Now I have nothing against Hispanics, but the men seem to be very aggressive around my area. I suspect many are in gangs, because we have problems with that sort of thing here.
Same way in my town. I think this is why I'm sort of afraid of Hispanic men
My first time out dressed as Katherine, I went to an LGBT dance. I dressed in the motel and drove over, very afraid I would get in a crash and have to stand around talking to the police in my skirt, heels, etc. When I got to the place, it was in the basement of a small airport. A plane was just leaving, so the place was filled with well-wishers. The floor was terrazzo - impossible to walk across unobtrusively in heels. When I got to the dance they asked my name and I drew a blank - which name? I had evidently used up all my psychic energy just getting there.
Later, full time, I was scared to go to the rifle range - it's such a guy place and potentially rednecky - but was treated very well. (Some of those rednecks can be very chivalrous. :))
So far *knock on wood* those were the worst. (Now, when I was trying to be a guy, that's another story - beat up, shot at, etc. So far being Kate hasn't been too scary.)
- Grateful Kate
The rednecks show me a similar respect. They probably had a good laugh away from me(doesn't, bother me), but I've never had one mess with me & they do tend to openly practice chivalry.
Post Merge: October 23, 2009, 10:09:45 PM
Post Merge: October 23, 2009, 08:10:01 PM
The first time I used the mens restroom at a professional sporting event (the mens rooms are always packed there). Especially since I sit to pee so I had to use a stall. All went well though. Nothing nearly as bad as general life stuff yet.
Myles
The first time I went to a bra sale at JC Penney. It was packed with women, one of whom insisted on chatting me up while I was in line. But I sucked it up and used the dressing room too. Now if there is anywhere the ladies might get a bit aggressive it might be in the dressing room when they realize something might be amiss. Luckily, all went just fine. The sales girl even complimented me on the one I bought, and said she wears those too.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fganjataz.com%2F01smileys%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2FloopyBlonde-blinking.gif&hash=4545ddf8251cf9c32ae6074d56e48bc34a755857)Kristi
Northern Arizona IS scary, having lived in Dewey, Chino Valley, and been in Flag and Williams a few times, I can tell you, that's one scary, spread-out, melanin-deficient ghetto. The crime rate is high and the craziness higher.
Glad you got out of it OK. Next time wear a Wrangler shirt and have a bit of "chaw" in yer mouth, spit a lil' and you should be OK no matter how jiggly your moobs.
Quote from: Alex_C on October 23, 2009, 09:49:52 PM
Northern Arizona IS scary
Flagstaff is where I live. I didn't know the crime rate was high, but I can tell from the people I've seen that it doesn't look too safe in the streets at night
Starting HRT. I'm not sure if I was more afraid of starting or of not being able to start.
The next biggest fear would be SRS. I'm a big wuss when it comes to surgery.
But mostly I am afraid of not being able to finance it.
I've already been in plenty of scary places before deciding to transition.
I'm still sighing a sigh of relief
My own head. :embarrassed:
Quote from: Northern Jane on October 23, 2009, 09:31:36 AM
In the back of a van, semi-conscious, after being abducted by 2 men off a Toronto street in the late evening in 1966 and being driven toward an abandoned industrial area.
Show off :P
Nothing stands out, probably the first time out dressed (and without a clue how to do makeup/hair/clothes etc). Probably delayed my progress a bit as I was in no hurry to do it again.
Most recently it's just the workplace where there is a constant fear of being outed by customers from my former job (it's in the middle of a shopping centre in the same town). A customer actually did it yesterday, not sure if I got away with it or not (pretended not to see/hear him calling me "MR SCOTT!!!" - even though he was right there at the counter and there's no one else he could be referring to - and ran to the bathroom)...it's all a bit ridiculous :-\
On a working vacation in BALTIMORE, MARYLAND!
We left the inner harbor and went into the urban area by mistake and went shopping at MONDAWIN Mall. Oblivious we were.
I'm not around guy's much (Oblivious) so when two older black guy's started hitting on me i was clueless, just smiling and chatting away until my girlfriend kick me in the shin and passed me a note saying to stop talking to them. That's the first time every that i felt vulnerable and noticed they were treating me like a innocent naive tasty pork chop.
Other than that i try to be home when the lights come on!
In a security room, being scrutinized in Damascus airport in Syria.
1965 in Meridian Miss . I was a Freedom Rider and got questioned by the "fuzz". Nothing that bad happened however.
In a gang war staring down the barel of a glock.
I had no worries, and haven't had to open a door since I put on a skirt........UNTIL......
The first time was when my truck had a dead battery leaving work late at night on a dark parking lot. I suddenly felt very vulnerable and alone, until a pretty security woman came to my rescue. Nice lady! :police: luv women in uniform!
The other was the first time I was pulled over by the police, but the officer came back with my license and registration, and he said, "have a good evening, Miss (last name), smiled, asked me to be careful.
Bev
in general not transition related- In a bunker ,M16 in hand crap (missles) flying over my head, but eventualy you get used to it.
Myles
When I was trying to be androgynous looking, I was sitting with my wife in an outdoor cafe in downtown LBGT friendly Santa Cruz when a passerby started milling around the area looking at me strangely. Then he started to pace back and forth past where my wife and I were sitting. After quite a while, he leaned over the railing and said,"I am going to kill you."
We sat stunned as he continued to pace back and forth. We whispered to each other as to what to do and considered running inside the cafe but then a policeman came along to get his coffee. The man ran off down the street amidst the gay men holding hands.
Some months later, I had to return to the area to see my GP for an HRT checkup. I saw this same guy just a few feet from me but I was now full time and he did not even notice me at all. However, seeing him again was quite a gulper.
Maggie
Quote from: Maggie Kay on October 30, 2009, 05:58:04 PM
Maggie
thats my birth name :) Nice name
I don't really have any scary moments.. Not that I can remember, although in college when in the elevator a few times I have had people say " Hey, can I ask you a question?" and then I just get chills up my body, and this quick hot/cold fear that they are gonna ask me if I am a guy or a girl, and what I'm going to say to that.. btw.. what am I supposed to say to that!?.. and THEN turns out the guy asked "Did those hurt?" (as in my snakebite piercings) hahaha.. *sigh of relief*
Quote from: myles on October 30, 2009, 10:01:34 AM
M16 in hand crap (missles) flying over my head
Something like this. I used to tell myself we don't hear the one that gets us, it was morbidly comforting.
The power of gratitude is amazing, I remember the first time I saw cobra helicopters in action my first thought was "I'm sure glad those things aren't coming after me" because I think the devil himself designed them.
I have experienced innumerable momentary instances of white knuckle,
death grip on the steering wheel, shear terror, followed by hours of droning
monotony but as far as the most unsettling scariest is concerned, pre-transition:
I was traveling north on I-81 in Virginia and I saw a SUV barrelroll through
the air over the top of a car and land on it's roof in the middle of the south
bound travel lanes. I pulled over, grabbed my first-aid kit and ran yelling for
the people who were trying to pull a guy out of the SUV, "LEAVE HIM ALONE,
DON'T MOVE HIM." When I got to the vehicle, there was a young man laying
in the roof of the SUV. He was in extreme pain from obvious internal and head
injuries. As I checked the rest of the inside of the vehicle, I found a girl hanging
upside down in her seat belt, I checked her for vital signs even though her head
was turned around backwards, she was beyond help. I went back to the guy,
checked him for bleeding and broken bones. I did what I could to protect him
from shock and keep him calm, holding him still while laying between him and
the girl, blocking her form his view. As I laid there holding his hand talking to
him, he told me that he and his wife were on their honeymoon. There was nothing
that could be done for her and I felt so bad lying to him, telling him that she was
ok when he kept asking about her but I needed to keep him still and calm or he
might hurt himself worse than he already was. He started to shake squeezing my
arm, he stopped breathing and his heart stopped. I started CPR as the EMT's
arrived and kept it up until the Life Flight arrived. I later called the Highway
Patrol, they told me that he never regained consciousness. I checked
into a motel and drank myself into a stupor for three days.
The scariest thing that has happened to me since I started transition:
The search for the things that used to satisfy my varied appetites,
invariably lead me to some of the roughest areas. During this period of my life,
the only time that I became scared was when I saw blue lights in the rearview.
I have driven through one hurricane, several tornadoes and innumerable blizzards
which only raised my adrenaline level and focused my attention. As a "man" with a
tortured past I was completely aware of the danger that existed around me.
I rushed headlong into it and embraced it. "What are you gonna do, take away
my birthday. Give it you best shot!" I think of it as like attempting suicide without
having to be the triggerman. I carry with me, the scars from fifty-four stitches on
my left brow and forehead, a steel plate in my arm, several knitted bones and two
fused joints, as mementos of this attitude. So, as I walked back to my truck,
alone as Tammy Renee' for the first time, in South Phoenix at 3:00 am from a
dive bar about four blocks distant, past all manner of night "creatures". Trembling
with tears streaming down my face, I experienced fear in it's rawest form, for
the very first time. I realized that I wanted to live and there was a very real
chance that I might not see the morning, on this side of the veil.
Geezus, Heather. It's amazing you've survived this long.
I've lived a very sheltered life. One of the scariest times for me was wintertime in the Gulf of Alaska, taking 45 degree rolls, pitching so badly it was hard to stand without holding onto something, blasting through the waves. And then we would stop, they'd try to settle the ship as best they could, and we'd all run out with bats and tool handles to knock the ice off the superstructure so that the weight of it wouldn't take us down to visit Davey Jones, meanwhile trying not to slide over the side. (Because you know that they wouldn't be able to find you in water like that.) After 24 hours of that we were all pretty tired. But when you're in the middle of big water, you have to protect the ship because it's the only thing keeping you alive.
But mostly my life has been pretty easy, and I'm not going to complain.
- Kate
I was out with a 'friend' shortly after legally changing my name. He was very loudly calling me by my female name and then saying he didn't mean it and saying my new name. 2 guys were letting me (and him) know what they thought of that and it wasn't nice. My 'friend' kept it up anyway so they grabbed me and welll, bad time. I lost my fave hat and for some reason that stands out the most as I sorta blacked out the rest. I avoid that 'friend' bar and city.
Quote from: Northern Jane on October 23, 2009, 09:31:36 AM
In the back of a van, semi-conscious, after being abducted by 2 men off a Toronto street in the late evening in 1966 and being driven toward an abandoned industrial area.
Mercy, girl. That must have been terrifying. I'm sorry that happened to you!
I don't know what the most scared I've ever been was.
Quote from: K8 on October 31, 2009, 09:32:02 AMOne of the scariest times for me was wintertime in the Gulf of Alaska,
taking 45 degree rolls, pitching so badly it was hard to stand without
holding onto something, blasting through the waves.
I have had a few hairy experiences on board ship myself.
(paranormal and natural)Thank-you for your service, Sis.
Quote from: LordKAT on October 31, 2009, 08:54:40 PMHe was very loudly calling me by my female name and then saying he didn't mean it and saying my new name.
It seems that sometimes the worst thing we can have,
when we start down this path, is "friends".