Well I'm quiet passive and everything, I guess I'd be the submissive one in a relationship most definately and stuff but I just don't want to be treated badly I mean I sometimes think I deserve that but, that's a whole nother therapy session but I just guess I'm quite a mess now
So I guess are any of you other guys out there passive or anything?
I am not passive I am def the dominate one.
>:-)
Jay
Quote from: Jay on November 02, 2009, 04:17:57 AM
I am not passive I am def the dominate one.
>:-)
Jay
Word.
I'm sure there's some submissives and passives about, though.
I'm a switch!
Well I'm kind of passive.
Don't think I deserve any crappy treatment though, you should probably go to therapy for that.
Quote from: emoboi on November 02, 2009, 02:58:16 AM
Well I'm quiet passive and everything, I guess I'd be the submissive one in a relationship most definately and stuff but I just don't want to be treated badly I mean I sometimes think I deserve that but, that's a whole nother therapy session but I just guess I'm quite a mess now
So I guess are any of you other guys out there passive or anything?
Yes, I knew a fellow like that, back in Seattle. Devout buddhist, gay transman, very short and always smiling. He was sweet, relaxed, flexible, sunny, friendly, passive, submissive; we would do whatever he asked, just because he was so lovable. Ruled his little circle with a plush fist, you could say.
You're unusual, Emo, but you're not a freak.
- N
Somedays I feel very dominant but then somedays I'll feel very passive. But mostly passive..
It swings with my demeanor, but I definitely have an extremely passive and submissive side.
It depends on the woman and my moods. I'm more dominate then submissive, however I find dominating women to be a turn on for me... therefor I turn from a dominating man to a passive guy :D
Usually with most girls (there are exceptions) I'm dominant but with most guys I'm usually more passive.
I'm normally quite passive but I can be dominant from time to time.
Depends on the situation.
I'm usually pretty sexually dominant, but when I'm in love, I can be versatile.
In most social situations, it can vary wildly. When it's a subject I have a lot of knowledge in, I can be quite aggressive, but then there are some people that I've actually rather shy and passive around for no explicable reason; a friend who's done some astrology readings says that this may be more of a "textbook Leo" trait than some people realise -- she says that while it's more typically thought-of as Leonine to be extremely assertive-aggressive, it can still be a Leo trait to be a bit more passive, etc, around quieter people -- "playing to the audience", in a way, through a more casual form of flattery.
omg I this kid asked me for a dollar and i said i didnt have one because i only had one for me so i stuck the dollar in the vending machine and was deciding what to get and then this kid just walks up and starts punching in buttons and it's just like what are you doing and hes just like "what" and but i didnt do anything about it i just walked away but it wasnt nice
Quote from: emoboi on November 04, 2009, 09:31:12 PM
omg I this kid asked me for a dollar and i said i didnt have one because i only had one for me so i stuck the dollar in the vending machine and was deciding what to get and then this kid just walks up and starts punching in buttons and it's just like what are you doing and hes just like "what" and but i didnt do anything about it i just walked away but it wasnt nice
...at that point I would have made a scene. I'm definitely not passive/calm enough to deal with that.
I've always been pretty dominant, in relationships, and in the bedroom. Most fems like a guy to take control..I've dated a couple that liked to "take charge" every now and than, and couldn't even complain.
I'm extremely dominant, but I avoid confrontation. Mostly because I can easily fly off the handle so I walk away to keep myself in check. Sexually tho I prefer being dominated but my 2 mates are both subby gay males so.... it's always a switch for me lol
Publicly, I'm "Walking along minding my own business, please don't gaybash me" passive. Relationship-wise, I'm the dominant one. I'm working on letting my 'hubby' have his turn tho, especially when picking where to eat out. ;)
Quote from: emoboi on November 04, 2009, 09:31:12 PM
omg I this kid asked me for a dollar and i said i didnt have one because i only had one for me so i stuck the dollar in the vending machine and was deciding what to get and then this kid just walks up and starts punching in buttons and it's just like what are you doing and hes just like "what" and but i didnt do anything about it i just walked away but it wasnt nice
Well, that's probably better than my reaction. I probably would have shoved the guy and asked him what the hell was wrong with him.
Quote from: emoboi on November 02, 2009, 02:58:16 AM
Well I'm quiet passive and everything, I guess I'd be the submissive one in a relationship most definately and stuff but I just don't want to be treated badly I mean I sometimes think I deserve that but, that's a whole nother therapy session but I just guess I'm quite a mess now
So I guess are any of you other guys out there passive or anything?
Nope not passive here, but you can sit on my lap and we'll talk about it .....
No! I must be slapped, spanked, & beaten into submiision...ooo, I can't even do this right. stupid, stupid...oh, yes cupid!
lol I'm a huge passive teddybear but yeah it has caused problems and tends to attract the wrong people >_>;;
It depends.
When I'm with my girlfriend, I try to deal with things on an equals level and it pretty much works that way, but if she makes it clear that she doesn't have any preferences (e.i. as to what we discuss), I take charge.
With all others non-romantically:
Around women, I'm passive.
Around other guys, I'm extremely dominant and competitive, unless he's a clear authority figure I respect, then I back down and try to be a polite good boy.
I'm a very low key person, but when it comes to relationships I'm not passive at all. Rather than being "dominant," I consider myself more protective, as I would prefer to spoil my partner rather than having them cater to me, if that makes any sense. I'll admit to being very competitive, though. :laugh:
In terms of everyday life I'm not passive. I would say I have some difficulties being assertive sometimes but am certainly not quiet and pretty much always have an opinion on stuff.
In sexual terms however I am very, very submissive. I am in a BDSM relationship that I really enjoy and just love giving control to the other person. This used to confuse me with my transness and was a factor in not discovering it for a while ... until I learned that submissive =/= a girl :)
In general I try to be not passive so much as calm, just try and slide by without conflict. Although that's probably because I'm terrible when it comes to arguments or fights, since I pretty much lose it three seconds in.
But when it comes to sexual relations, I'm definitely dominant.
I'm passive/submissive in the sense that I like to be helpful to people, so I suppose that could be used to manipulate me in a way, but, I would certainly not be submissive if I were in a physical relationship with someone. I have never felt like I was submissive, or that I should be "dominated" in that way, which is why I think I never really dated anyone back when I was presenting as female. It would just be too conflicting. Honestly, even about a year ago I was still miffed at how women could have penetrative sex with men, because to me it just seemed so.. Weird. I understand now though, haha.
I got off-topic, but basically I'm passive when it comes to everyday stuff, like people asking me where we should go etc. and if people ask to borrow money I find it very hard to say no to them.
Well I'm kind of passive.
Best example of passive in the bunch.
Dominant.
Passive-aggressive.
Quote from: emoboi on November 04, 2009, 09:31:12 PM
omg I this kid asked me for a dollar and i said i didnt have one because i only had one for me so i stuck the dollar in the vending machine and was deciding what to get and then this kid just walks up and starts punching in buttons and it's just like what are you doing and hes just like "what" and but i didnt do anything about it i just walked away but it wasnt nice
Ok wow. I thought this topic was about being passive/dominate in the bedroom. There is a big difference between being a passive partner and being everyones doormat. You don't deserve to be treated badly. At the same time, if don't respect yourself you can't expect other people to. You got to stand up for yourself.
Quote from: Berren on November 18, 2010, 09:00:13 AM
I'm passive/submissive in the sense that I like to be helpful to people, so I suppose that could be used to manipulate me in a way
I got off-topic, but basically I'm passive when it comes to everyday stuff, like people asking me where we should go etc. and if people ask to borrow money I find it very hard to say no to them.
Me too. I have been manipulated and used in the past due to my passive/helpful nature, and it's not a nice feeling to be screwed over for trying to be nice. I can't help it though, because I feel like I'd rather help a "friend" and then be ditched than not help someone who really needs it. Karma and all that, you know? Besides, I'd just feel bad to say "no" to someone when it's within my capabilities to help them.
Relationship-wise, I'm dominant, though I switch. My (ftm) boyfriend is the opposite. Socially, we're both more introverted/passive - interestingly, though he's more socially confident, he's more likely to be passive in the face of confrontation. I'm somewhat socially phobic, but if someone does something confrontation worthy in public I'm inclined to start an argument/take a swing at them.
In the situation you mentioned... I probably would have shoved him away and gotten in his face about it. Unless he was younger kid. In which case, grab by shoulder, pull away, say "Dude- NOT COOL." There's a difference between being non-confrontational and letting complete strangers control you.
Quote from: Nikolai_S on November 18, 2010, 03:55:22 PM
Relationship-wise, I'm dominant, though I switch. My (ftm) boyfriend is the opposite. Socially, we're both more introverted/passive - interestingly, though he's more socially confident, he's more likely to be passive in the face of confrontation. I'm somewhat socially phobic, but if someone does something confrontation worthy in public I'm inclined to start an argument/take a swing at them.
In the situation you mentioned... I probably would have shoved him away and gotten in his face about it. Unless he was younger kid. In which case, grab by shoulder, pull away, say "Dude- NOT COOL." There's a difference between being non-confrontational and letting complete strangers control you.
Then you won't mind having that done to you by the guy confronted with your used and abandoned menstruation products. Interesting way of coping with social anxiety.
I have a friend whose just like you. I don't get how she can be so calm under certain situations (like the one with the dollar and the kid). Maybe it's a gift? Haha.
Anyway, I'm a weird mix of both. I'm dominant, but in a passive way. I'm not very outspoken, but I do have strong opinions. I'm generally quiet and will follow with whatever until I want to do something else or I get bored. Relationship wise, I don't know.
Quote from: Farm Boy on November 18, 2010, 03:53:12 PM
Me too. I have been manipulated and used in the past due to my passive/helpful nature, and it's not a nice feeling to be screwed over for trying to be nice. I can't help it though, because I feel like I'd rather help a "friend" and then be ditched than not help someone who really needs it. Karma and all that, you know? Besides, I'd just feel bad to say "no" to someone when it's within my capabilities to help them.
It isn't a nice feeling! Mainly though, people just lit on me (usually to borrow stuff) because they know I rarely say no. If I actually do end up saying no, then I just feel really awful for it afterwards.
QuoteThen you won't mind having that done to you by the guy confronted with your used and abandoned menstruation products. Interesting way of coping with social anxiety.
I'm assuming by this you've never heard of fight or flight, wherein a person in a stressful, aka "anxious" situation reacts with fight or flight. Lashing out at someone physically or verbally falls under that fight category and is in fact not indicative of someone who has good coping mechanisms in social situations.
And no, I'd have totally deserved it.
I'm a submissive basically but not by choice. I'm submissive in everything because I don't feel comfortable with myself so usually that makes me shy in social/sex situations. Maybe one day that'll change and I'll be a switch
I'm submissive, I'm passive. I've become this way because of the way others have treated me, perhaps because of my AS: when you have no idea if what you're saying is okay or not, it's best to stay silent. I have learnt to walk on eggshells around my mother, and this behaviour has leaked over to my interactions with other people. I seldom take initiative, but rather follow. I would probably apologize to the person stepping on my toes as well, and I tend to keep quiet about pretty much everything. I don't want to inconvenience anyone, I don't want to attract attention.
I am a wallflower, a quiet and shy person. However, I've become very outspoken in my new class, because I feel comfortable there. :)
I fight for assertive,.....but sometimes lose.
I guess I'm submissive/passive
it tends to be hard for me to make decisions or say how I really feel, I don't want to make anyone upset or anything like that.
I'm definitely the most passive/submissive person let alone guy i know. always have been. i don't know if it's bad or not. definitely bad that way too many people have walked all over me/ hurt me and it's almost impossible to tell anyone even someone I've known my whole life how i feel. maybe it's due to feeling awkward/ancious/uncomfortable in the wrong body and I'll become the opposite through transitioning or the T alone will do that for me. maybe neither, that it's a major personality flaw that has nothing to do with gender identity and I'll always be like this who knows.
but i think what you have especially that scene about the kid pushing random buttons pretty much taking your dollar and you just walk away, sounds to me (I'm no psych or anything but just my opinion) like you have no sense of self worth and don't like yourself at all, that and how you said there was something wrong with you for being so passive told me that as well but that's just my guess. but good thing your getting help for that.
I can be pretty dominant when I'm angry. Or in a mood to say screw everyone, or feel like an ass for no reason. But I can also be pretty quiet and passive. I'm learning not to let people walk on me. T helped that
I'm dominant myself. I'm vanilla though, not really into BDSM.
Don't worry about being passive though, people come in every flavor lol