Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Today I am 7 months RLE.  I went into a store and they said: "Welcome, ma'am." 

It certainly pleases me to be called ma'am, but it still surprises me a little.  I live in a place that doesn't use a lot of ma'ams and sirs, so I only hear it about once a week.

How long before you weren't a little surprised when someone called you "ma'am"?  (Or, for FTM, "sir"?)

- Kate

I still get chuckles when I am called "Ma am".  I have not been called "Sir" in a long time.



Janet

I've been out over a year, and quickly approaching my year date on T. It still gets me every time. Somehow, I feel like it will always be a pleasant surprise.   :)

I'm interested in the replies to this question. I don't think it's ever going to get old, at least I hope not. I really enjoy the validation and the reminder that this isn't all some wonderfully screwed up masochistic dream. It's a relatively new and hit or miss experience at the moment though so who knows.

Well Happy Anniversary Sir.  And I love the pink tie.  Very Sopranos looking.



Janet

I'll have been full time for over two and a half years, and I still get a smile when I am maam'd.

I hope I never lose that satisfaction.

-Sandy

Well, it's 2 weeks tomorrow and I get the warm fuzzies whenever I hear it but I'm no longer exactly "surprised" when I do. I've kind of concluded that people will do it reflexively. If they use such a term at all.

I had one lady at a yard sale say ma'am and then try to correct herself to "sir" and I assured her with a smile that she had it right the first time and ma'am was preferred.

But yeah, surprise or no - it feels REALLY nice.

free silk ties? i'll take em!

I started being read consistently only a few months ago, in early July. So it's still new and sometimes strange to hear "sir" and "he."

On the odd occasion that an old acquaintance slips up and calls me "she," though, it is MUCH more startling. :o

I'm not surprised when family and friends call me "he". However the 1 time I passed to a stranger, (a woman working at Starbucks) I was so surprised I forgot what I was ordering for a second.  ::)

Quote from: Matilda on November 22, 2009, 10:50:13 AM
Hmmm....I'm still called Miss 

lol, show off   :laugh:

Quote


I have to admit that at the beginning of my transition (especially during the first year), it was a huge ego boost, of course.

Thank you so much for that, I know it prolly sounds sadistic but it's comforting to hear things like that.

It took me quite awhile to get use to it actually and I still get kinda surprised by it from time to time

It always makes me feel good to hear it though

It's amazing how cisgendered people take the little normalities of life for granted...the people who give us our "he"s and "she"s don't know just how happy/sad they make us by those little words.

I still love being called "he", but then it's a rarity still. It feels awkward sometimes being called "she" all the time and then my friends/girlfriend using correct male pronouns, like I'm still breaking out of a bad habit of instinctively answering to "she".

The validation keeps me going, and shows that this can and will be a reality for me...that no matter how many times I look in the mirror with dismay as I see a feminine person I'm reminded with luck, perseverance and the god-given hormone of T, one day I'll be a real boy inside and out, just like Pinocchio.  ;D

Well, I spent the better part of a year sliding toward full-time, and I've been there for a few months, though I was nearly there for several months before. The week before I started presenting female at church, I went out with a chuch friend for lunch, and was startled when the waiter called me "sir." I was dressed as a guy, but it was really jarring.

I still notice when people call me "ma'am" or (less often) "miss," but not as much.

I hate to start a new thread for this but I have to tell it SOME where!

I was just at the dentist getting a busted tooth pulled and the assistant there was a DOLL!

she teased me about the name and said i should have ask her for advice, she asked about the transition and what my plans were...even at one point asking what i was going to do when a guy hit on me...we talked make-up and epilators and....it was GIRL TALK!!!

I was in such heaven!

How I wish that would happen more often. both being comfortable enough to ask about the reality of my transition and, at the same time, to talk to me like any other GG about the stuff girls talk about.

How often does someone come out of the dentist's office with a big grin?
:D

When she is just coming into full time and has girl talk with the receptionist.  ;D

Good day, I would say Laura.



Janet

Even with discernable facial hair now, I still get called "ma'am" more often than not around here.  Only time that hasn't happened so far was in Philadelphia a few weeks ago.  So needless to say, getting called "sir" in Ann Arbor would still surprise me.

But getting called "ma'am" now enrages me.  Not only is there an obvious mark that I'm not, but in all honesty, I've never been old enough to be "ma'am", and so that alone just baffles me, cos not only am i under thirty, nobody believes I'm older than twenty-five.  There are several reasons I've never been "ma'am".

I have been transitioning for just over 18 months (from T date) and I still get surprised and I have been passing properly for the last 5/6 months..

Its not that I am surprised I just notice it, I don't really know how to discribe it...

But its awesome ;D

Jay

I was at a Thanksgiving gathering yesterday. All gay men. After dinner, the host said, "Gentlemen, shall we clear the table?"

Gentlemen. It felt kinda weird to hear it, but it did make me smile.

I look forward to the day that "sir" and "he" and even "gentleman/men" seem completely natural and right to my ears. Give me another year, maybe.

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Post Merge: November 27, 2009, 01:56:35 PM

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Quote from: YoungSoulRebel on November 24, 2009, 03:50:13 AM
Even with discernable facial hair now, I still get called "ma'am" more often than not around here. 

That happens to a friend of mine. I don't get it; people must think he's a very hairy lesbian. It must be maddening, but some people just take longer to masculinize than others.

But the ma'am thing, instead of miss, is a bit of a mystery to me.

Quote from: Arch on November 27, 2009, 02:54:05 PMThat happens to a friend of mine. I don't get it; people must think he's a very hairy lesbian. It must be maddening, but some people just take longer to masculinize than others.

But the ma'am thing, instead of miss, is a bit of a mystery to me.

I think it may largely be because this is a small town, I'm from around here, and so people are just used to seeing me.  Obviously only people who are or were at one time my friends are comfortable asking me questions like "where did the tits go?" or "what's with the stuff on the face?" (which is so rarely asked of me that I had to think of how it would be worded), so everybody else just assumes "business as usual", it seems.

As I said, my weekend in Philadelphia was fine -- only time I got a feminine honorific there was caught by the person saying it before he was even done saying it, and then quickly followed by "sorry man, just saw the red hair and was reminded of my sister".  I wound up telling one person, who I assumed could tell I was TS, and he actually seemed kind of surprised -- but then again, this was Philadelphia, he's an old punk, and he's friends with The Dead Milkmen, who are all kind of short, so he may have very well just figured "oh, another short ->-bleeped-<-gy punk guy".

When I'm having a bad day it really helps to cheer me up when I hear it. Still not to the "not surprised" point yet, but about half the time I don't think much of it. I hadn't heard sir in probably a year and then this guy said it about a month ago and I couldn't believe it, and wondered why for a bit.

of course it's not just "ma'am" either

As i was leaving the supermarket today, a man ask his son to step back and "let the lady by"

:D

the other day I was in an office and one of the workers ask me "ma'am what car are you driving?" (apparently someone was mis-parked) and before I could answer the maitenince guy who'd seen me pull in said "she's driving that gold one" - SHE!!!!

there are so many variations on the theme....

Still waiting for that flirting thing Kate was talking about in the other thread though...

I donno about any of you, but I have a HARD time not having a giddy grin spread across my face every time I get correctly honorific'd. And nothing quite makes my day like the double affirmation, i.e. more than one person in a group identifies me correctly out loud(a couple did this today to me at work).

It still feels weird when people who called me "she" so long all of a sudden switch...I can't wait to no longer be used to being called "she".

A year maybe. I'm used to it by now.  I'd be more surprised & devastated if people called me "sir".

The day I properly transitioned I was unrealistic enough to expect to be called Miss by everyone from then on. I was very young, probably too young to understand that it might not happen, but strangely enough it mostly did.

These day's after so long I have reached the point where I honestly no longer notice or care what pronouns people use. I'll answer to anything as along as it isn't rude! I think the fact that I was mostly allowed to grow up in my preferred gender and only really lived as a "male" for a few years as a form of (failed) reparative therapy probably makes me less sensitive to this issue.

I made myself mad just now...boy working at the supermarket passes by me and says "Hi Mr. G____" and reflexively i said "Hi"

i.e. I acknowledged he was talking to me.

I've been pretty good about not doing that so far but I still got aggravated that I forgot.

It happens.  They see us, recognize us and the reflex is to call us by that name they have know us for a long time.

He will one day call you, "Miss G____".  Don't beat yourself up.  It takes time, Hon.



Janet

I know what you mean, Laura.  A few days ago I responded without thinking when someone called me by my old name.  I beat myself up for a while until my usual "aw, screw it" attitude returned. ::)

- Kate

Quote from: Arch on November 27, 2009, 02:54:05 PM

But the ma'am thing, instead of miss, is a bit of a mystery to me.

I've passed a great deal on days even letting the whiskers grow out for some time. People don't always look. Different people have different levels of criticism and scrutiny. People who know someone with PCOS wouldn't bat an eye at a trans person with facial hair and feminine features.

The worst thing are the people who you only know by proxy - restaurants, school, business relations, etc. They see you often enough to mentally adjust to the changes. There's one guy in the food court who calls me by the name on my credit card and I cringe. He's providing great customer service but it makes me want to die. Another restaurant that I go to is staffed by one guy who's been there as long as I have worked here and he knows I'm a guy... I think. But most of the rest call me her... or are very confused mexicans.

I just saw a friend that I hadn't seen since august and, well, she was mostly amazed by my breasts. But she said my face was a little different too. I took her to a lesbian club to go dancing and I got quite a few smiles from the ladies in the crowd. I did as much people watching as I could exhausted, tipsy, and dancing, but looking at the faces of the ladies there, it's really no question that a lot of us who don't think we're passing pass. And I'm sure at times they have to go "Excuse me?" when someone refers to them as sir.

I just had to prevent myself from *hugging* a staunch straight friend goodbye on aim - he has no real idea about what's going on because he never sees me. I'm finding myself 'pulling my punches' regarding my personality sometimes, on things that I want to say to coworkers... but for the most part I express exactly what I feel. I took quite a bit of pride the other day when a male coworker surrendered to me and told me that I argue like a woman. I half giggled and said "Yeah kinda."

I'd say I'm not surprised at all anymore - but there are times when I don't expect to pass at all where I do. Opened a stock account with my mother - handed him my male driver's license and he goes "This is mother-daughter right?" after entering my full legal name. Mom being clinically insane made it so  awkward since she wanted to play it along but kept slipping in 'he' here and there and then making a big show of showing she was referring to the broker... oi.

I accidentally called a large black man "ma'am" when he asked where the restroom was today, just because the last 4 people who asked were female.

Womens clothes over 2.5 years, 9 months on spiro, 3 months on E, being called "ma'am" off and on for 23 years.

I got a mam once at the grocery store.... the bagger person must have been on drugs  :D

I liked it though, and I was far from trying to pass.

I wouldn't expect anything else really.  If they called me sir I would be very shocked.  But it's cute when I'm with my girlfriends and someone is like "ladies" and we just beam and giggle LOL oh my I'm silly :)

hehe :D you're all so inspirational. ive loved reading all these posts

i longg for th day that someone says "let the lady pass" and stuff like that! :D

i get it ALL the time no fail on the phone... cuz i talk really sweet thats why

surprised? it was more like a constant source of embarassment and joke everytime i was out with my schoolmates or friends at that time  :-\

so ya guess i never went through the 'surprise' stage...not to mention any element of pleasant feelings from this mdm/sir thingy...

why are human languages so obsessed with gendering?

From my early teens onward I was the source of considerable confusion - some "miss", some "master" and some didn't know which. It was a relief to transition and simply get "miss" and now, many years later "ma'am". I never thought about it back then.

I agree, many things are very easy to take for granted.

So strange at times. The new job I am just m,e a male employee, only refered to as male, sir, he handsome. There have been a few times where I'm like ohh yeah thats me.
Myles

Quote from: milktea on March 06, 2010, 10:10:03 AM
why are human languages so obsessed with gendering?

I still wonder the same. Especially with languages that assign genders to inanimate objects or ideas.

Well, if you really want to know there's a wonderful book: Women, Fire, and Dangerouse Things by George Lakoff.  He is a cognitive scientist and wrote this book for others in the field, so it can be a bit difficult at times.

I think the short answer, though, is that the world is a complex place and we categorize things to simplify it and make it easier for us to understand.  To those first speakers, gender was an obvious way to differentiate things since gender differences - to them - were so readily apparent.  And many of the elements of language are in place because of our history.

And now, back to our regularly-scheduled thread...

- Kate

After 21 years, I have heard all the appropriate gender terms and sentences and I have never been addressed otherwise.  When I first started out, my hearing was hypersensitive for the appropriate gender terms, but as always everything fades into the background over time.  Once in a blue moon I will notice the proper gender term or an act of difference to my gender and a smile will cross my face.

Which basically comes to what Rejennyrated said, I don't care what people call me behind my back (I don't really give two hoots) I'm not able to do anything really about it, however I do care when it is in my presence or with friends, is where I take exception.

Kind regards
Sarah B
PS I do take exception to the title Miss, for me, it's Ms.

I get all warm and tingly when I get called Sir, even after nearly two years of RLE. I may look like a 13-year-old boy, but at least it's boy :) I'm happy with that for now. Though I am getting kinda aggravated when everyone and their brother says 'boy, you can drive? You look so young! How old are you?' Etc. etc.

I got straight up sirred today at work after a coworker used my male name accidentally (which was funny, since we were just having a conversation where he was apologizing for using my male name.) I'm still carrying it with me 7 hours later, but strangely, it doesn't bother me as much as it used to. Somehow, 'being outed' is different than failing on my own merits. First time in months.

Though it was strange considering how many times people ma'amed me even with my male name. Black men, bleh.

I don't think I can remember ever noticing getting ma'amed. I don't get sir'd either (I must just not go places where those honorifics are used on young people). I think I'd be a little disconcerted if I were called either 'sir' or 'ma'am.' Like "Have I really aged that much since this morning?"

Occasionally I get 'man', and when in a group I get included in collective 'boys' and 'guys' and sometimes 'gentlemen.' That's been happening since grade school, sometimes with an awkward 'and lady' added as an afterthought, but not sincerely.

I am still a bit surprised when I get read as male individually though. I'm used to it when I'm in a group of guys because...well, nobody expects to see five or six guys and a masculine-seeming girl, so they don't even really look at me until I open my mouth. But when I'm out alone and I get "he" it makes me really happy.

I never get maam or sir. I always get 'Mate.' Bloody Australians!! All they wanna do is throw another Shrimp on the Barby and call everyone 'mate.'
But long have I dwelt in the darkside and the time shall come when I seek my ressurection through the netherworld of the Force and begin to rise as the Sith lady I have become. And I will strike down those who oppose me. And SUFFER the little children may they come unto me. Yes SUFFER! I like that! Of the Dark side it is. Down with the Jedi, Down with the Jedi..Oh geez I think im losing it!

Kyril,
You're right about age.  I remember the first time I was called "sir" (back in the bad old days of presenting male).  I was in my late 20s and the kid was about 14.  I didn't know whether to be pleased (Gee, I'm finally grown up) or displeased (Yow, I must be getting old).  At my present advanced age I get the honorifics a lot, especially in some parts of the US. ::)

- Kate

I get sir'ed on the phone, but i dont in person because i look about 12 lol.
But i sound alot older so its pretty cool on the phone.
But it makes me feel old..

Okay, I know this thread is serious, but it reminds me of a Monty Python sketch...specifically the first fifteen seconds or so:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npjOSLCR2hE# (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npjOSLCR2hE#)

I love Monty Python... LOL

I got ma'amed at two stores today... It still made me feel good

I take nothing for granted

haha monty python, classic!

um im always suprised because i still have long hair and am know where near starting T yet.
I do get called 'mate' and 'pal' relatively often though, its ace.
What i don't like is that because im not on T i know theres a good chance within the next few mins they are going to suss that im actually a girl. Makes me really self concious, questions are my worst fear, if i can't answer by nodding my head im doomed!

Voice of a 5 year old girl honestly...im in my late teens and i still get 'is your mummy or daddy at home' on the phone.

I have loved Monty Python in like forever.  ;D

Quote from: kyril on April 05, 2010, 12:07:22 AMOccasionally I get 'man', and when in a group I get included in collective 'boys' and 'guys' and sometimes 'gentlemen.' That's been happening since grade school, sometimes with an awkward 'and lady' added as an afterthought, but not sincerely.

I've gotten that all my life too when with a group of guys. Many times when someone would say "and lady" someone would go "[Radar's] just one of the guys anyway". Always made me feel good. ;D

I guess for me, I'm never really surprised when I get called "Sir." It's always happened to me... even before I fully realized that I wanted to be seen as male. Even when I had long hair, I was always referred to as male by random strangers. I've got so many stories about that sort of thing it's not even funny. Big fella is my favorite one so far though. Things like that just keep me entertained.

Its nothing new to me, even in my late teens I was called ma'am and miss before I transitioned and that's a longgggggggggggg time ago, lol. But living full time for the last two years it still feels kind of good and a confirmation of my femininity and womanhood. I wouldn't say it surprises me but rather makes me feel good inside if that makes sense.

Stardust 

Quote from: Minkle on April 05, 2010, 06:16:48 PM
Voice of a 5 year old girl honestly...im in my late teens and i still get 'is your mummy or daddy at home' on the phone.

Ooh, ouch. You might find relief through a voice changer, although that would only help you on the phone.

Quote from: Arch on April 06, 2010, 03:49:05 PM
Ooh, ouch. You might find relief through a voice changer, although that would only help you on the phone.

Yeah maybe =/ lets hope when i take T it has an effect pretty early on

It's been a while since I've been called sir, dude or bud, but after 12 or so years of living full-time, I still get a little surprised when someone calls me ma'am or sometimes even miss.  Not sure why.

15 months into HRT, it is still a little surprising sometimes. Since I feel the same as I always have, there is sometimes that moment where I go: oh yeah, right, you have transitionned!

I'm really young, so I kindof grew into transition about the same time a bio-guy would go through puberty, so I was never really surprised after I'd gotten a haircut. My hair was the only thing holding me back for a long while.

It doesn't surprise me to be called ma'am anymore; I can't get called sir even if I tried.  I know I'm reiterating everything previously said but it still always feels good to be called ma'am. 

I got called a "Miss" today... just for a second but it's the first time in a long time It's happened it used to happen occasionally when I was younger a once in every 3 month occurrence it always made my day when it happened.

A woman was selling an eyebrow threading service to women walking past she turned to me as I walked past and said. "Hello miss would you be int... *calmly stares at me for a second before bursting into laughter* hahaha oh my gosh I'm so sorry sir!"

Almost there!! ^_^

I don't know why, but, ever since transitioning at work, I've felt... odd. Not just a work. But like I keep hearing my internal voice use phrases like "thinks I'm a woman" "thought I was a woman" ... as if I'm pulling something over on people. I guess it might be the whole big "outing myself to everyone" bit that has me really not feeling like the person I was a couple of weeks ago. I felt much more confident in myself as a woman before that, strangely. It had to happen (or I had to switch jobs, which I can't right now) but still. And this way if people from school who know me as a girl come to work, there won't be a big... eh, mess.

Yesterday, tech started for a play I'm forced to be a part of. We were congregating in the womens' dressing room and call happened. So the men got thrown out. Then the lead actress complained that she had to strip down to her underwear to get into costume. Someone else chimed in "We're all girls here. Last I knew at least."

Heh. One of the actresses is an acquaintance of mine from before transition, but her father and brother are both gay and she's very big about GLBT rights. She said she didn't recognize me when she walked in. Of course the secret is safe with her and the instructor.

The reason I have to be involved in the play is because I'm enrolled in a stage makeup class. And it was very intimidating to me, to be surrounded by incredibly girly girls who all are experienced with makeup and hair and all this crap that I never did, and am still not really that interested in. I'm outside of the clique, since most of them have known each other for at least a semester and through multiple shows and trips, but they're still nice. They just talk so much to each other that there's no room edgewise.

I felt good about that happening, but somewhat bittersweet.

It took me quite a while to accept myself as a girl, even though I knew who I was. For this reason, it also took me a while to get used to people referring to me as ma'am. Over the months and years, though, after being referred to in the correct way for so long, now I have no trepidations with it.

Another factor with being able to fully see myself as a girl is the fact that physically I was not. With each change I became more comfortable in who I was. Now that the final piece has been completed, SRS, I have realized that I no longer have any thoughts about it at all.

~Sarah

I got "sir" three times yesterday - once from the dressing room attendant when I went to try some clothes on, once from a Subway employee when I was ordering lunch, and once by a kid panhandling on the street. All three of them made my day (the kid got all the change in my pocket for it) but it's still sort of a weird feeling - I mentioned just a week or so ago in this thread that I never got ma'amed or sir'd. And now I'm getting it consistently.

The one that felt good, rather than weird: I also got my hair cut yesterday. I go to a place that calls itself a barbershop but is really more of a salon-ish thing. It's queer-friendly (rainbow flag, Seattle Gay News stand) which is why I felt comfortable going there to get the big cut, but it's also why I generally expect to be read as female - I never expect to pass anywhere that's familiar with lesbians.

Anyway, I got a stylist I hadn't met before, and after she spent half an hour cutting my hair (with all that entails - talking with me, hearing my voice, touching my head, seeing my face up-close and personal) when I went to pay, she circled "M" on the little form she gave the cashier. And I never specifically said anything about getting a men's cut, or making it look masculine, or anything to indicate that I wanted to be seen as male. So that was surprising, but very very cool.

I got "sir'd" once by my therapist, but, although I pass fairly well, I still look like I'm about fourteen, which is probably too young for sir-ing in most people's minds. I guess as I get more time on T I'll start looking/sounding more of a "sir-ing" age.

I do get called "he" and "that guy" a lot in public though. It's the sort of thing that makes me want to start singing loudly with happiness.

There are still those times I'm surprised. Yesterday I stopped by a liquor store after an afternoon hike. I was feeling pretty self-conscious and thought I looked rather unfeminine. When I reached into my pocket to get my license to show to the man checking ID's at the door, he just said, "Go ahead, dear."

It felt good, but my surprise proves I still have some ways to go.

Quote from: Northern Jane on March 06, 2010, 11:30:33 AM
It was a relief to transition and simply get "miss" and now, many years later "ma'am". I never thought about it back then.

I agree, many things are very easy to take for granted.

I never really thought about it much, it is true for those of us who have transition over 30years ago, Id never get ''sir'' now, just take these things for granted, but sometimes actions speak louder than words, just on a resent shopping trip to London I was traveling on the tube when a young woman with a teenage son asked him to give up his seat and let the lady sit down, I was a little embarrass for the teenager, but she said no problem, it was important her son showed respect to women, I thanked her but it was a lovely moment for me, we had a nice girly chit chat, tolded her I was shopping for my wedding, after all these years I still cherish moments like that.
When I was in a store in London, I must have looked a bit lost lol because a young assistant came up to me and asked ''excuse me Ma'am are you looking for the ladies room'' never thought about it really till I read this thread, taking it for granted which we shouldnd, thank you for bringing me down to earth.
p

I was up to the state line the other day getting some scratch-off's and I was bending over looking closer at a lower placed item and the girl behind the counter said "Can I help you find something ma-am?"

Now, I was without bra or makeup - butched up as my wife asked me too - and even when I stood up and continued the conversation, she remained in "girl talk" mode, asking about my nails and so forth.

It was very rewarding.

After I lost my ID on the bus and had to go pick it up at the bus station

I was dressed like a guy and my ID said M on it, and the person had to look at my ID to confirm it was me, he looked at it and then handed me it, and said "Here you are miss, sorry about that"

So yea after that day I stopped trying and the Miss and Ma'am have kept coming I get a RARE sir every now and then only to have it quickly replaced with a miss or ma'am

I guess I'm lucky. When I was about 10 I started dressing and living kinda full time as male. All I did was shave my head and ever sinse then I have never once been called ma'am. I'm always regarded as sir in public, my family and friends is a different story. It still feels good to be sir'ed even after 7 yrs. I even get sir'ed if wearing tight clothes. BTW i went through pubery at 8.  I have a rather prominant chest but I can still go out without binding or wearing a sports bra and still pass, partly cause I'm fat and they take the shape of a fat mans, TMI.

I'm fortunate that I have a masculine build and a manly face as well. I even passed with hot pink mohawk. In womens clothes I look like a man in drag.

Groan Groan Groan, Mumble Mumble Mumble, Whinge Whinge Whinge.  How dare they call me Mrs, I am a Ms.  At least three times that happened this morning from the nurses, technicians and doctors at the local hospital.

I'm sure I ticked or circled the right title enough times, I had to fill in 4 forms.

Oh well, I guess I have to deal with it, get over it, build a bridge and move on.

Kind regards
Sarah B

Everyone always calls me "He" when they first meet me and I'm surprised/scared/happy all at once and when someone calls me "She" I feel a terrible dissapointment.

Quote from: K8 on November 21, 2009, 09:43:06 PM
Today I am 7 months RLE.  I went into a store and they said: "Welcome, ma'am." 

It certainly pleases me to be called ma'am, but it still surprises me a little.  I live in a place that doesn't use a lot of ma'ams and sirs, so I only hear it about once a week.

How long before you weren't a little surprised when someone called you "ma'am"?  (Or, for FTM, "sir"?)

- Kate

Well, I'm going full-time 2 weeks from this very day, 31 October 2010.  Honestly, I wonder if I'll ever be called ma'am.  More than anything else, the voice is the problem. 

Two weeks ago, a really good friend and I did the mall, and we were fully en femme.  She's been full-time for a few years now.  Pass City for her.  This was my first time out, anywhere, ever.  Doggone if I didn't moreorless pass.  No hassles.  No fuss.  No muss.  Heck, girlfriend even got me to use the women's room in a big store. 

She finishes before me, leaves the restroom, and I'm in there with a gg right next to me in the next stall!  I was like, "OMG!"  That gg and I finish up at about the same time, come out of our stalls, wash up, do our hair and lipstick, and leave the restroom.  Not even a second-glance.  Whoa!  I passed ... THERE!

Doggone voice is a natural resonant baritone.  Hurts to take it up a few registers for any period of time.  Sigh, ... practice, practice, practice.  Right now, I'm worried about EVER being called, "Ma'am."    :-\

Quote from: Tammy Hope on May 21, 2010, 11:57:55 AM
I was up to the state line the other day getting some scratch-off's and I was bending over looking closer at a lower placed item and the girl behind the counter said "Can I help you find something ma-am?"

Now, I was without bra or makeup - butched up as my wife asked me too - and even when I stood up and continued the conversation, she remained in "girl talk" mode, asking about my nails and so forth.

It was very rewarding.

EXCELLENT!

Quote from: Lacey Lynne on October 17, 2010, 11:00:38 PM
Well, I'm going full-time 2 weeks from this very day, 31 October 2010.  Honestly, I wonder if I'll ever be called ma'am.

Congratulations on your trip to the mall, Lacey!  You can do it.  One thing that held me back was that I was sure I would never be convincing as a woman.  Well, either everyone is very nice or I'm at least a little convincing. :)

That first "yes ma'am" is wonderful and for me, 18 months fulltime, it still hasn't gotten old. :icon_chick:

- Kate

Quote from: K8 on October 18, 2010, 07:54:32 AM
Congratulations on your trip to the mall, Lacey!  You can do it.  One thing that held me back was that I was sure I would never be convincing as a woman.  Well, either everyone is very nice or I'm at least a little convincing. :)

That first "yes ma'am" is wonderful and for me, 18 months fulltime, it still hasn't gotten old. :icon_chick:

- Kate

Thanks so much for the encouragement and support.  I really appreciate it. 

Today, I'm at the mall (at which I walk 3-4 laps every day after finishing work, because my work is so intense and depressing), and I got so blue.  Why?  Well, just for the old times and as a farewell to guyhood, I wore my Abbey Road Beatles shirt.  Darned shirt was tight.  I saw myself in several mirrors in the mall.  Darn!  Way broad shoulders, pronounced trapezius muscles, broad back, etc.    :(

Doggone it!  I've cut way back on the weight on my workouts.  I don't work out as often.  I've dropped many guy-muscle-enhancing exercises.  I'm almost 11 months on HRT.  My girl tops are either large or extra large, and I'm still nearly bursting out of them, and I'm NOT a big "guy!"

Full-time is just a tad over a week-and-a-half away.   What am I going to do?    :-\

My for-now wife says I've now got girl's legs (she says Vera-Ellen legs!), and she and a good friend on here say I've now got girl's hips and backside (Really?  OMG!), but ... what girl has immensely wide-assed shoulders and a way-wide back?    :P   I think Bibilinda on here works out a lot too.  Bibi, what do I do about this?   What do you do to not muscle up too much?

Yes, I'm still going full-time on 31 October 2010.  I look like a doggone female bodybuilder.    :-\  Okay, I could totally wear miniskirts and get away with it, but what woman wears miniskirts at age 55?  Any female top I wear and I'm moreorless bursting out of it, ... sigh.  Again, I'm NOT a big "guy."  Just built up from L.A. Fitness.  Can't give it up ... love it too much.    :D

Kate, how did you ever do it in the early days when you first went full-time?   I would way appreciate any advice you could offer.  Sorry to go on and on, Kate.  I'm just bummed out.  What genetic girl looks like this?  Maybe beach volleyball players or something.  I don't know what to do.

Quote from: Dee_pntx on October 20, 2010, 12:15:48 AM
I'm there.   ;D

Oh Dee, how wonderful. :eusa_dance:  Your story brought tears to my eyes.


@Lacey: I'll PM you rather than cluttering up the thread, but it may be later - I've got a busy day ahead.

*hugs*
Kate

Quote from: Dee_pntx on October 20, 2010, 12:15:48 AM
She asked me when my last period was, have I had a hysterectomy, etc.  Standing half naked in front of a nurse in a hospital and being asked those type of questions, that was the ultimate in "passing".  They never asked my sex, they looked at me and filled in "female" for me.

I'm there.   ;D

You totally are ... YES!    :D

Quote from: K8 on October 20, 2010, 09:01:11 AM
Oh Dee, how wonderful. :eusa_dance:  Your story brought tears to my eyes.


@Lacey: I'll PM you rather than cluttering up the thread, but it may be later - I've got a busy day ahead.

*hugs*
Kate

Thank you, Kate!

@ Everybody:  Sorry if I've cluttered up the thread myself.  Didn't mean to.    :-\