Okay,
I've been on HRT for a while now.
This guy who apparently drives a ferrari, maserati & bentley has been stalking me...
He looks rich judging by the cars, clothes he wears and the amount of money he tips me...
I work at starbucks & he comes in to chat with me all the time. My manager actually thought I knew him personally & then I got in a little trouble...
He asked me for my #. I gave it to him so he would leave me alone.
The problem with my situation is not really him. I do have a bit of a crush on him but I'm pre-op and am NOT legally female.
If he founds out I'm afraid he will get violent. Every morning he gives me a $100 dollar bill to pay for and then tells me to keep the rest for my tip.
I've told him plenty of times not to tip me at all b/c I don't want a relationship.
During my lunch break, he touches my hair while chats with me as usual and gets wayyy to close.
This is really scary because I've never had a guy do this & it's just to risky for me as I'm pre-op.
He is respectful though. He's around 6 ft and very muscular. I'm 105lbs.. I won't be able to protect myself if he finds out, I will probably get killed.
I'm NOT out in work. My coworkers & managers do say I look like a girl & talk like one. They have a anti-discrimination policy, so I was able to get the job despite my appearance.
Today during my lunch break, he wanted to take me out to lunch and he started to grab my arms, he did it gently though & in a sweet way.
I refused & he accepted my refusal. Then he started commenting on how I dress only in boy clothes & jokingly accused me of being a lesbian.
Anyway, afterwork, he called me and asked if we could go out together for dinner, told me to stop wearing my lesbian gear and to wear a dress.
I said no. Then he seriously asked "Are you really a lesbian? I don't care if you are, just tell me because I want you to be my girlfriend."
I said "No, I'm just not ready to move that fast"
He than said "Okay, I understand, But could we just have dinner tonight so we can know each other better?"
I said "Fine but I only for ice cream & that's it."
He said "Fine"
He picked me up at my house. I told my mom, he's just a friend and she smiled.
We went for ice cream. Talked. He kept touching my hand, I told him to stop but deep inside I really liked it a lot and wanted to kiss him.
He then kept trying to cuddle with me, I liked it but stopped him.
After talking- we went to his house to talk more. His house was pretty huge and he was trying to impress me. It was a mansion but I wasn't that impressed.
I went in his bedroom but nothing happened. He just was trying to get to know me & was flirting with me.
We then started watching TV together and then we started to cuddle in bed. Eventually we fell asleep together. (Nothing sexual at all just sleeping and cuddling)
I was shocked when I woke up in the morning. He dropped me off and we explained ourselves to my mom. My mom got mad.
Here's the thing
I do like him, It's just that I want to keep a very big distance b/c I'm legally a male & if he founds out I'm afraid he will become very aggressive and hit me badly. He's like 195lbs of muscle & I'm only 105lbs.
What should I do?
Should I tell him?
I thinking about seeing whether he is homophobic and hates transsexuals. Then deciding.
Any advice appreciated.
That might be a good place to start, but I would recommend that you not be alone with him. Even if he is rich, handsome, whatever. Do not be alone with him.
You say you, platonicly, slept with him. How did you feel in the morning? Hung over? Sickly? Anything like that. Be very careful with him.
CYA, Hon.
Hugs and Love,
Janet
The guy sounds like bad news too me. But then of course I don't know anything about him outside of your post.
But it sounds like he's used to getting his own way, and doesn't take rejection very easily, I'm not sure I'd trust a guy like that.
I can't really offer much advice, but I'd trust my instincts.
my 2 cents, run like hell
IMHO there is "control" written on every wall using the money and the "sleep in" aspect as blackmail to force a relationship that may not have happened in the first place with informed consent. (which he may be trying for anyways, but isn't the point)
Thanks everyone...
I did NOT feel hung over, sickly or felt like I was drugged. I was sleepy anyways, didn't plan to sleep their at all... no way! I think part of it was also his bed- because his bed was pretty comfortable.
I'm not ever going to be alone with him again. I'll always make sure I'm in a public area.
Tmrw I'm going to test whether he's a homophobe or hates transsexuals by bringing up the topic indirectly and cunningly. I also want to make sure he's not a player.
I do agree that he's being manipulative and also possessive. But at the same time, I do like him because he's the first guy that's treated me this way.
This is gripping.
I'm dying to find out how it goes tomorrow.
I'm a little skeptical about why someone who lives in a mansion wants to date someone who lives with their mom, but men are weird creatures so whatever.
Lesbian gear, lol.
Quote from: Tanya1 on November 30, 2009, 10:49:27 PM
I do agree that he's being manipulative and also possessive. But at the same time, I do like him because he's the first guy that's treated me this way.
Just keep in mind there's much more to a relationship than a guy being romantic. He's very likely acting that way out of lust, anyway. Don't let some guy wheedle his way in just because he has all the right moves. Let yourself fall for a guy who actually cares about you. Don't settle for someone you know is being both manipulative and possessive. That will likely just lead to disaster.
Hope this turns out well for you.
Joseph
Why is everyone picking on this guy? I agree it sounds a lil fishy, but really he's just behaving like guys do when they want to have sex with you...it's natural behavior for them. He's clearly a type-A personality that's for sure, but that doesn't mean he's a bastard right from the get-go. If every guy I've given the cold shoulder too had just given up I'd still be a closeted, neurotic virgin...instead of just neurotic.
But yeah, if he thinks you have a vagina your'e definitely cruising for a bruising, prolly better clear that up pretty quick.
Please be very very careful indeed.
Back in the early 80's I lost a couple of friends who were murdered or seriously beaten up in exactly those sorts of circumstances.
From then on I had a policy, even when I was postop and in deep stealth, that anyone who I seemed likely to get romantically involved with had to KNOW before I was anywhere private with them at night.
I think I was very lucky but the strange thing was I never had a rejection over it. Most of the men were like "oh! (big pause) but you have had the op right? (pause while I nod) well I guess that's ok then." although some of them were rather insistent than I mustn't tell their mates about myself - which while I was in stealth, I was obviously not going to do anyway.
You need to either come clean with this guy (when you are somewhere safe) or disappear from his world because trust me a man with his passions aflamed, possibly slightly drunk, who feels he had been duped into a homosexual situation will NOT react well, however rich and cultured he may be. So please DONT PLAY WITH FIRE!
have to agree with jenny here it may be fun to flirt but this guy thinks your a girl and if he finds out otherwise in an ackward situation you could get hurt excercise extream caution here we do not need anouther bell next year
hugs
jessica
Jaysus.... Guys... come on...
This guy has said he likes Tanya.... he's made advances, and respected her boundaries. He seems controlled enough in that respect that all this talk of beating and murder isn't likely.... and a man of his apparent wealth isn't likely to do something stupid 'in the heat of the moment'...
To be honest, the whole thing sounds innocent. Tanya honey, hes not 'stalking' hes doing what all guys do that like a girl and want to ask her out... seeing her regularlyish, flirting... the usuals. Get used to it :)
Tanya... do you like this guy? Yes? Get him to meet you after work, go for dinner somewhere, and explain your situation to him. In a public place. He will most likely be surprised, but few here give men the credit to actually accept this... a LOT do.... My last two boyfriends did with no trouble.... it took one a few days to realise he loved me no matter what, but neither got violent, tried to beat me... or kill me. The drama that some here come out with REALLY complicates coming out for people... I for one understand realism, but there's such a thing as pessimism too.
Good luck sweetie. Follow your heart.
thanks NB for the other side of the coin always being on guard tends to make us suspect the worse and read insidous things into inocent gestures The odds are in becca and NB's favor on this one tanya most likely the worst that will happen is he will stop coming around. my comments were based on him finding out you were male in the middle of a sexual encounter (ackward Situation) and this could get dangerous but since that isnt what is happening its a mute point maybe you should go out and just explain it to him or if thats uncomfortable use the number and ask him out but let him now its an open invitation after explaining the situation.
jessica
Absolutely!
Just to clarify let me reiterate that I did say that ALL the men that I came out to accepted me. So I wasn't being pessimistic at all.
I think if you play it right he could be a really nice man.
My only point is that it's one of those situations where being honest can actually save you from a lot of trouble later on.
I'm not into drama either - I've never had any, in all honesty no one has ever given me a hard time about who I am. But I put that down to the fact that I always played straight with my lovers, whilst many of those who got hurt didn't. So far from being a reason not to come out my post is actually intended as an encouragement to honesty.
I have to agree with Jenny and none Blonde, he is after all a guy, guys will be guys, I only every had 1 rejection from a guy when I tolded him I was trans, it was a long time ago and I wasn't honest with him in the first place, I posted about it in another thread somewhere.
I was 10years pre op, finally had my surgery in 1985, in that 10years my Mam was very anxious and worried about me, thought I was playing with fire, it was pressure actually from my Mam that I finally has srs, she was so relieved I was finally all woman, guys would come on to me, after my surgery my Mam use to say ''now you can enjoy guys flirting with you, just enjoy and get use to being a woman''
My present BF knows my history but can never see me as a guy, excepts it but doesn't want it discussed, well I don't want to discuss it ether, its history, he just wants to see and fully except me as a woman.
When he spends a full night in bed with me, theres no mistake, with my anatomy, yes definitely a woman.
p
Quote from: jesse on December 01, 2009, 04:30:49 AM
The odds are in becca and NB's favor on this one
Yay! Does that mean we get him when she's through? Muwaha
I'm absolutely enthralled by this story, go for it girl...have fun!
I think this would be a bit of a fun situation.
I mean, if a handsome rich guy took blatant interest in me like that I would be all over that like white on rice, to be frank. Call me naive, but I do think if Tany continues to see this guy, she should tell him about her past.
But if it's just going to be a casual flirting thing I don't see the harm.
Chrissi
Ok so I today at work I was talking with him on my break. He took me to lunch as usual.
My mom told warned me to be careful with him and to never ever be with him alone- because if he found out he might get violent.
During lunch, I asked him what movies does he like and what movies could we watch next we are at his house in his home theater. He started listing the types of movies he likes and the movies he already watched that he likes. I then asked if he has watched Trans America.
He didn't know what movie was. So I explained it to him.
Then during a pause, I asked if he had anything against transsexuals. He said no and said that he thinks that if they have a dream, they should follow it no matter what anyone says.
Than the topic changed.
I then told him about me being trans. I first asked if he would get mad if I told him why I don't want to be his girlfriend that quickly. He said "No" and there I told him and asked if he'd still be willing to accept me as his girlfriend.
He said "Sure, you are very pretty & I wouldn't have ever suspected you to be born male."
He then said "I think of you as a women and nothing else"
Then we went back to my work and he kissed me in the cheek and said "We are both together now, right?"
I said "Yes" and he kissed me in the cheek again and said "I will see you tmrw"
After I came back from work, he called me and asked me to dinner at some 5-star hotel. I told him I didn't have any dress and he said will take me shopping at Bloomingdale's.
That was it...
Today I got my first boyfriend, my first date and soon my first dress. :icon_redface:
Curiouser and curiouser. Could he be FtM? And if he could careless, you may just have a b/f. Did you tell him you were pre-op?
Hugs and Love
Janet
Quote from: Janet Lynn on December 01, 2009, 11:03:39 PM
Curiouser and curiouser. Could he be FtM? And if he could careless, you may just have a b/f. Did you tell him you were pre-op?
Hugs and Love
Janet
Yes Janet, I told him everything about me transitioning right now and still being pre-op and not being legal male.
I don't drive because I have driver license issues with passing and I also can't use public bathrooms any longer.
Sort of sucks but it's a lot better compared to the suicidal thoughts I had before.
I don't think he is FtM... lol I felt his privates when he put me on his lap during lunch. Though he could have gotten penis surgery, I highly doubt it- though he his facially feminine like Brad Pitt.
Post Merge: December 01, 2009, 11:11:19 PM
Quote from: Tanya1 on December 01, 2009, 11:09:57 PM
Yes Janet, I told him everything about me transitioning right now and still being pre-op and not being legal male.
I don't drive because I have driver license issues with passing and I also can't use public bathrooms any longer.
Sort of sucks but it's a lot better compared to the suicidal thoughts I had before.
I don't think he is FtM... lol I felt his privates when he put me on his lap during lunch. Though he could have gotten penis surgery, I highly doubt it- he is however facially feminine like Brad Pitt.
You say he's rich, he could have had surgery or he could have been packing.
Still, he'd probably say something when you did.
He put you on his lap?
Lol, I'm waiting for the next installment with bated breath, please do keep us posted :)
Glad it went well. I thought it would. Honesty is always the best policy in those situations.
You usually find that 90% of humanity is far more accepting than we give them credit for and the other 10% just aren't really worth bothering about!
Have fun! :)
What a fantastic excepting story, Im so glad it went so well OMG the worse is over, you'v now actually tolded him, you should be so relieved, a weight taken off your shoulders, he really sounds like a super sweet guy, its great you tolded him and it went well, enjoy every bit of it, hope he spoils you, very best of luck.
p
Well... I doubt hes f2m.... guys can be accepting you know... my ex was.
Anyway... about guys putting on shows... hon, you have so much to learn Becca, ALL guys put on a show when they want a girl.... its the whole social mating ritual... plus they like to think it will make us want them more :D
Quote from: The None Blonde on December 02, 2009, 12:52:27 PM
hon, you have so much to learn Becca
That is certainly true, but what does it have to do with this awesome storybook romance? It seems too good to be true sure, but considering what Tanya has gone through over the last couple years if anybody deserves it she does :icon_yes:
I still think his "lesbian gear" comment is hilarious, I can just hear the discussion in my head lol. "Leave your lesbian gear at home" oh good lawd it makes me lol still :icon_bumdance-nerd:
Quote from: Tanya1 on December 01, 2009, 10:58:44 PM
Today I got my first boyfriend, my first date and soon my first dress. :icon_redface:
Right on Tanya!!! Congrats!!! :icon_chick:
Quote from: Becca on December 01, 2009, 11:36:58 PM
I'm waiting for the next installment with bated breath
Sushi for lunch?
;D :D
And yes, yes I know it would be baited in that case, give me a break. :P
Ok Tanya. Take notes and really make us jealous. Just don't rub it in to bad.
Hugs and Love
Janet
Congrats Tanya, please keep us all posted!
I'm saddened by all the on-edge skepticism here...but then, I've actually noticed lately that I'm more judgemental about my being trans than most of the people I come across; there's a lot more acceptance of trans people nowadays. Good advice still to tell him in a public place, and glad to hear it worked out well.
Always, always, always be careful...that being said, I think it's freakin' awesome from what you've described. I didn't think guys like that existed *sigh*. Let us know how it goes, I too find myself enthralled lol.
Quote from: BrandiOK on December 05, 2009, 09:38:19 AM
Always, always, always be careful...that being said, I think it's freakin' awesome from what you've described. I didn't think guys like that existed *sigh*. Let us know how it goes, I too find myself enthralled lol.
Oh they exist all right - at least they do in the UK.
before I settled down with my current (female) partner I had two such guys - either of which I could easily have settled down with if things ahd worked out slightly differently. Ok I was actually postop - but still neither of them batted an eyelid when I told them.
I know, seriously!
I'm thinking they are off for a wonderful weekend in Paris and that's why we haven't heard back from her. Oooh or maybe Italy. Yes, definitely Italy.
Yes, I'm quite curious to here about the date and so on :icon_chick:
I am getting concerned because the last time she was on was December 3rd and we have not hear from her at all. I hope she is just having a great weekend.
Hugs and Love
Mother Hen Janet
No need for the paranoia guys... you do realise that sometimes people get this thing called a 'life' and have to spend extended periods away from the 'internet' to conduct this 'life'.
Throughout this thread theres an overwhelming almost anticipation that she will get beaten, murdered, hung drawn and quatered.... For gods sake you all manage to try and drag away the decency of humanity into some sort of evil world where everyone is out to get us....
I can't imagine reading this and being newly out or full time... I'd be too terrified to leave the house.
Oh you, quit it. Your crabby pragmatist personae doesn't fool me, I know you're a sweetheart :-*
Quote from: The None Blonde on December 05, 2009, 01:00:24 PM
you do realise that sometimes people get this thing called a 'life' and have to spend extended periods away from the 'internet' to conduct this 'life'.
some don't. ;)
real life as opposed to "living" online 24/7
real life as opposed to "living" online 24/7
well why would anyone wanna do *that*!
Umm, no one buys you free drinks on-line.
That's 'cause you're safe at home, you have to go out for that to happen.
Due to thread drift I started a new poll about real life and living online
Back to the orig. post:
Hope everything is going well Tanya :)
I think I'll fix a drink
Please keep us posted!
This is like one of those fanfictions... :P
Is it so implausable that people can actually find love? Try getting out there and experiencing life, and you'll realise that 'hey this is like a fan fiction, only wetter!'
LMFAO...
girls I'm fine.
He got me a dress, heels, some non-expensive jewelry, perfume, and he had me do my make-up.
We went to a restaurant in the city called Le Bernardin. The place very nice and food was very food. I just had one glass of wine and he had one as well. He kept touching my feet with his hands and he put my feet on his lap under the table and he took my heels off and started to rub them...
After we finished dinner, he got some desert. It was a big slice of cheesecake. Strawberries, chocolate fudge and vanilla. The cheesecake was special ordered beforehand and the reason why was because while I eating it, I found a diamond ring and he proposed to me.
Said he wanted to marry me. I got pretty shocked and then after 10 seconds of silence I asked him why does suddenly want to marry and why did he choose me over so many other girls?
He said that the first time he saw me in starbucks he not only thought I was very pretty but he felt a very strong "connection" and that he believes I'm his "soulmate"...He told me that he lives a very spiritual life and that he meditates a lot & that's part of the reason why he's successful with money. (He works in Goldman Sachs)
The he started to tell me how he wants a wife. He's 30 years old and I'm 19 years old.
How he's sick of short-term relationships. I told him that I won't be able to have kids with him. He was fine with it and said that we can adopt a small baby.
I said, "Yes but only after SRS" He then put the ring on my finger. It fit perfectly and he kissed me. (It was my first kiss) Everybody in our section of the restaurant started clapping.
He then paid the bill and then took me in his car so we could talk privately. I sat in his lap in the drivers seat with him and then he said he wanted me to pack my bags tonight and come live with me.
He said he would pay for my SRS, transition...He said I could quit my job at starbucks. He would pay for my college tuition, my expenses etc etc
He said I he would offer me a job at Goldman Sachs but their policy prohibits recommendations from someone who is in a romantic relationship with that person. He said he will help me with any career I want. We then went to meet his parents.
Their parents thought I was a 16 year old girl and they started to have a little "talk" with their son. They asked me for my ID... Finally we told his parents about me being TS after they threatened to call the cops on their own son. We showed my old ID to them.
They accepted me as a girl & then he told his parents that he wanted to marry. He showed the ring he gave me. I talked to his parents. General conversation. His mom liked me a lot and said that I was pretty.
We then left and his mom told me I'm welcome to come anytime. Then we went to my house and then I told my mom everything. She started crying out of joy.
My mom didn't leave with him though. She said she wanted to meet his parents tmrw. She met his parents. They talked, talked and talked.
Now I live with him. He's planning the wedding already and he's trying to speed up my surgery, transition & my legal documents. Today I quit my job at starbucks and he took me shopping because he doesn't like me in "lesbian gear".
Uhhh...I HATE to be cynical but....really? Sure you're not just a fabulous storyteller? If not...more power to you!
OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG
A regular fairytale romance.
Are you sure your name isn't Cinderella? I was worried and for no reason. I take it you said "Yes".
Why can't I find a guy like that.
Congratulations, Tanya. ;D
Hugs and Love
Janet
Quote from: mija on December 05, 2009, 09:56:58 PM
Uhhh...I HATE to be cynical but....really? Sure you're not just a fabulous storyteller? If not...more power to you!
I don't think your'e being cynical, but true or not it's a fabulous story ^-^
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg215.imageshack.us%2Fimg215%2F2512%2Fnobull-%253E-bleeped-%253C-.jpg&hash=0e14193aaf2f4d09a778642869f44b28f3d669c3)
Congrats Tanya
I hope all goes well for you :)
Wow, what an amazing story! Just like a fairytale! I hope you two are happy together for the rest of your lives! Wow, just amazing.
I'm gonna have to fall in line with the fabulous "story" faction. My heart loves it but my brain isn't gonna let me buy this one. Hope I'm wrong cause, yeah, *sigh*.
You know what? I take it back.... Fantasy meter is bleeping off the charts at the moment. *sigh*
There are many places for fantasy and fiction all over the net. This place is not one of them.
Topic locked.