When it comes to the terms primary transsexual or Type VI transsexual?
We readily acknowledge we are all different and have followed our own paths through life but that we have certain common concerns so I am curious why the idea of PT or Type VI is so hated even though it occurs in such small numbers.
Please don't make this personal or take it as offensive - I just want to understand why.
Quote from: Northern Jane on December 26, 2009, 07:28:31 AM
When it comes to the terms primary transsexual or Type VI transsexual?
We readily acknowledge we are all different and have followed our own paths through life but that we have certain common concerns so I am curious why the idea of PT or Type VI is so hated even though it occurs in such small numbers.
Please don't make this personal or take it as offensive - I just want to understand why.
I think you probably answered your own question - basically it comes down to insecurity I think.
You and I had the good fortune to have our treatment whilst very young. But even so I still kick myself for not being firmer when I was 17 and pushing harder - I often wonder whether I could have avoided those extra 7 years before SRS.
Now imagine that you had left things even later - why I don't know. Maybe you were just in a place where such things were unheard of or something...
Then some poncy psychologist who wants to overanalyse everything comes along and wants to stick a different label on you because you are a late transitioner...
You probably already feel bad about that, and angry with yourself for not doing something sooner, and now someone is trying to put you into a different category...
But deep down you KNOW that you knew what you should have done years ago. True you didn't do it...
But if this jerk of a psychologist who is labelling you as something else could have seen your life he would know why you couldn't...
So the term becomes a source of insecurity and that's why people hate it.
I think labels should really be only used when absolutely essential! Because they all to easily become a source, not of help in understanding, but of division and even further pain.
We are all equally valid.
PS - I am assuming that I have imagined the thought process right here as, for anyone who insists on these silly labels, I was actually categorised as a "Primary"/Type 1. So if anyone who is/was a late transitioner wants to take me to task and tell me that I have it wrong then I will happily defer to your expertise.
But I repeat - we are all equally valid and "genuine" and in my opinion none of us should judge others.
Jenny, if I understand what you are saying, the difference between early and late transitioners might be backbone. Hmmm, an interesting thought. I am not sure I disagree.
But there is no question that the hostility we have seen on here is part insecurity, and part the simple fact that transgendered people have issues. I know, big surprise, huh? There is no excuse for it, and it is so shocking to first encounter it from within the community, not just from without. But welcome to life. Just another case where we seem determined to shoot our wounded.
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Quote from: Kristi on December 26, 2009, 08:48:55 AM
Jenny, if I understand what you are saying, the difference between early and late transitioners might be backbone. Hmmm, an interesting thought. I am not sure I disagree.
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Not entirely - it could just be particularly adverse circumstance...
I was so unbelievably lucky that I deserve to be shot every day at dawn for a week as compensation... seriously no one should have been as lucky as me! (or maybe everyone should :))
My point is that whatever the reason, division and labels can sometimes become obstacles, and I think that is a real shame.
I personally have a great deal of respect for people who are late or even part time transitioners - because to me my road was infinitely easier than theirs must be! (yet they still do it! - that is real dedication!)
So I genuinely regard myself as the lowest of the low when it comes to brownie points. In many ways it was actually cowardice which made me an early SRS candidate. It was an easy choice ;D
"Please don't make this personal or take it as offensive - I just want to understand why."
--------------
I doubt it has anything to do with TS. It has to do with people's motives in life.
I guess it is just my nature - I don't "do hierarchy", don't respect hierarchy. As a matter of fact, I regard with suspicion those who do.
Quote from: Northern Jane on December 26, 2009, 09:16:57 AM
I guess it is just my nature - I don't "do hierarchy", don't respect hierarchy. As a matter of fact, I regard with suspicion those who do.
Quite so - like I said - you answered your own question, and in fact in rather better words than I did.
None of us should indeed do "hierachy". We are all different but equal.
Quote from: Valeriedances on December 26, 2009, 09:42:33 AM
Ugh, I find that term 'backbone' particularly hostile and hurtful which I've never read your posts to be before ...and is the point of this thread. No one knows the life I lived and the choices I made to survive. That is calling someone a coward ...and you don't even know me, what my options were in life. Maybe I was abused sexually, physically and emotionally when young ...maybe I grew up in the south with few options and great prejudice ...maybe the internet didn't exist where knowledge is power ...or the words transgendered or transsexual were known to the general public in the 60's or 70's ...maybe it took many years to escape adversity and then more years to heal. I'll repeat that no one knows the life I lived nor did they live in my shoes. Those that are able to transition young are privileged in my view.
See, I am sensitive too.
My point exactly Valerie. All points which I made in my posts.
Believe me I'm with you 100% girl! and I meant what I said - people like you have my utmost respect! I was simply lucky and didn't have your courage!
Some people tend to use the terms "primary transsexual", "true transsexual", "type VI", "early transitioner" for insecurity reasons & to demean those people who for one reason or another have chosen a different path.
Heh, even on this thread, I sense a patronising tone. "oh poor you, you're an old transitioner & a 'secondary' transsexual, you aren't as 'primary' as I am but I love you anyway, we're all the same" That's what I call hypocrisy. Pathetic.
Thing is that there are certain terms, like "primary transsexual", that are from the stone age. Some people seem to be stuck in those times. It's almost 2010, the terms have changed; it's time to live in the present not in the past. Even homosexuality was removed from the 'DSM' years ago. Did you know that?
People have different circumstances, different wants & transition when they can & if they want. Nobody has the right to judge anyone or to make subtle insinuations about other people's choices. Live & let live.
Quote from: Fer on December 26, 2009, 09:56:28 AM
Heh, even on this thread, I sense a patronising tone. "oh poor you, you're an old transitioner & a 'secondary' transsexual, you aren't as 'primary' as I am but I love you anyway, we're all the same" That's what I call hypocrisy. Pathetic.
Sorry Fer - I can't prove it - but on this occasion you are genuinely mistaken.
I repeat -
I don't do labels or hierarchy and it isn't my fault that I was an early - that's just a simple fact which I can't alter. What do you want me to do lie? I merely try to be honest so that no one can accuse me of dissembling.
I am quite genuine in what I say - Sadly all you are proving is that if someone wants to find a way to take offense they will, as you indeed appear to have done, quite wrongly, to what I said.
And yes I do know about the DSM and I am one of those campaigning for the whole trans thing to be taken out and I have been doing so since about 1988!
Jenny, I didn't take offense at anything. I could sit here all day & tell you about my age, when I transitioned, the choices I made, but why? Anybody could read my posts or check my profile to find that out. Repeating the same song over and over would indicate that perhaps I'm not so sure I'm "real". I reckon you're the one taking offense at a general statement I made. If I recall correctly, I didn't mention any names. I said that there was a patronising flavour floating around. Sorry you took it personally. It wasn't my intent.
Quote from: Fer on December 26, 2009, 10:11:25 AM
Jenny, I didn't take offense at anything. I could sit here all day & tell you about my age, when I transitioined, the choices I made, but why? Anybody could read my posts or check my profile to find that out. Repeating the same song over and over would indicate that perhaps I'm not so sure I'm "real". I reckon you're the one taking offense at a general statement I made. If I recall correctly, I didn't mention any names. I said that there was a patronising flavour floating around. Sorry you took it personally. It wasn't my intent.
Ok my mistake then :embarrassed: - I think maybe I'm just over sensitive, given the delicate nature of the topic, and the fact that I've been inadvertently involved in a recent "trainwreck thread" which resulted in someone very dear to me getting needlessly hurt in the crossfire.
Anyway my apologies to you too... No offense :)
J.
We now return the rest of you to the thread. ;)
I think when it happened, the naming, defining and labeling, there were very few people doing it - in the case of certain words and definitions, few equals one - and even fewer who cared, and further on down the road everyone got stuck with them.
Quote from: Tasha Elizabeth on December 26, 2009, 10:18:55 AM
look at it from my point of view. i've known since i was 4. in small-town nebraska, in the 60's, after being slapped down numerous times by parents, i learned to keep my mouth shut. there was no internet or any other source of information. i thought i was crazy, and attempted suicide 3 times before i even left my teens.
i tried *everything* to live a normal life. the military, marriage, children. every day i got up i had to decide to be a guy and go out and play the part; and sure most of the time i could function, but the dark times were very dark indeed. fast forward 25 years, and finally, FINALLY, i am at the point to where i can finally transition and be me, for however many years i have left.
I very much relate to what Tasha wrote, and I think it speaks to the reasons terms like "true transsexual" have been dropped from use by anyone seriously studying transsexualism more recently. The only way to define such a term is entirely too circumstantial to be scientifically validated.
Most of us who transition later in life have vivid memories of the incredible pressure put upon us at the very earliest ages to
conform to our birth sex's gender role expectation. It didn't matter how poorly we were able to "pass" as our birth sex early on. It would be (in many cases literally) beaten into us with enough repetition that we eventually got it. In most cases we did not have anyone else to turn to for support. The internet didn't exist to tell us we were not alone. All the doctors, teachers, members of the clergy, parents of friends were squarely on the side of making us
conform. Most people in such communities didn't (and in many cases still don't) believe in the reality of transsexualism.
The suggestion that there ought to have been about the same number of early transitioners bubbling up through the cracks in such an environment as there are in today's more tolerant communities - and this is what terms like "true transsexual" suggest - is not very credible on its face.
It reminds me of some of the very earliest guidelines about transsexual surgery. They used to only allow it if you were petite & naturally feminine in appearance... basically if your genes already allowed you to be pretty passable before they lifted a finger to help you. The fact that this didn't have any relation on what was going on inside the mind of the transsexual didn't seem to be much of a factor. It was like they were hanging a big sign outside their door "No Ugly Chicks!"
People who were fortunate enough to get the support of the transsexual practitioners of the day didn't have anything different going on inside their heads than the people who were turned away. They simply had a more fortunate life circumstance. Adopting their antiquated and arbitrary language and trying to apply it to modern transsexuals is simply reminding people of an old and painful wound which we are
hopefully just being able to overcome.
(And if anything I wrote above comes across as offensive, I pre-emptively apologize. In my experience those trying to understand terms like "true transsexual" are sincere and trying to understand themselves better. Many of us are angry at our own past and it unintentionally comes out as if we're angry at those who raise the questions.)
Valerie
For what it is worth I too was raped - actually gang raped is a much better description because there were three of them, whilst I was at senior school - I was about 16 at the time, and I never told a soul, not even my gender psychiatrist what had happened to me.
In fact I only really started to talk about it a few years ago, but I try not to do so too often for obvious reasons. (We all have our dark corners in life)
So please believe me I do understand very well a little of what you have been through.
J. x. :)
I ofttimes wonder why there is this hostility. Yes, I am a late transitioner. But my life lead me to take steps to please the world (Parents mostly). I also was raped as a child. Ashamed and frightened, I told no one. I was called '->-bleeped-<-got' most of my young life. To hide I did what was expected of guys. Married, had children, divorced. It wasn't till the 70's that I even knew that there was a name for how I felt.
I went to California to a gender clinic there. And even there I was told in about 10 minutes that I was not a 'true transsexual', so back in the closet I went. And I used that male life to hide from the world. I tried several different ways to kill myself over the years. I wanted to end the feelings. Two more wives and two more children later, I gave in to those feelings.
My entire life, I have felt that I was a freak and not worth love, respect or even a decent living. That is a lot of hiding and self-defeatist attitude to over come. If I had been truer to myself I would have transitioned at an early age. But the peer pressure and trying to gain the respect of my parents, I hide. And I was good at it. No one knew. Yes I was still called 'queer', but I could not be. I had a wife and children, right?
After my strokes, I knew I had to at least try to be true to me. So I told my wife that the feelings were back and here I am.
Yes I have hostility. But it isn't towards younger transitioners, unless they figuratively call me a fake for starting late. The hostility is towards myself for not doing what the younger ones, who are now my age, have done. I was gutless then, but I am not now.
The greatest words I ever heard was from my therapist. When I went back to him to begin transition he told me that "I knew you would be back. It is obvious you are a 'true transsexual'". I may not be doing everything I can, but there is this thing called life that I have to attended to, but day by day I get closer.
Northern Jane and Jenny are just a couple of the girls I respect and look up too. Sorry girls but it is true. I only wish I had done what you did.
Janet
Quote from: Diana_W on December 26, 2009, 11:12:46 AM
The suggestion that there ought to have been about the same number of early transitioners bubbling up through the cracks in such an environment as there are in today's more tolerant communities - and this is what terms like "true transsexual" suggest - is not very credible on its face.
Good point. So suddenly the percentage of 'true transsexuals' has jumped dramatically in recent years? Makes much more sense that more young people are transitioning now due to tolerance and awareness and not an increase in the percentage of 'true transsexuals'.
As for the topic, I think it might not be the terms 'primary transsexual' and 'type VI' people are reacting to so much, but the implications of them - true transsexual vs ->-bleeped-<-; primary vs secondary (second, less legitimate,etc); type VI vs type I-V (less afflicted, less serious, etc). It seems like these terms were created to 'separate the wheat from the chaff' and I think that's what people are reacting to, not the early transitioners themselves.
Quote from: Valeriedances on December 26, 2009, 11:06:04 AM
I am overly sensitive, I am sure, because of my life story...
The main question I have is, why the lack of empathy or compassion for us late-transitioners? Maybe we have had a life you can hardly imagine except through TV.
I hope this discussion is able to raise some compassion for others when it is finished.
Valerie, please forgive me. I am the one who used that term in an attempt to boil down what Jenny said. I did not mean any of the things you seem to have read into it. Sorry about that. I simply meant that, looking at myself, I could transition right this minute. I soooo want to! I need to. I just know it would be to the detriment of both myself and those around me. It will also be to my detriment that I do not. Who do I put first? That's all I meant by backbone. If we care about no one else around us, and are willing to throw caution to the wind so far as our own finances, health, etc, then virtually anyone can transition today. Thankfully, not many have that extreme attitude. It may or may not be the right time. Many (not all) of those who damn the torpedoes and go full speed ahead seem to resent those who do not.
FWIW, if I am reading between the lines correctly, we have some common things in our background. You will never hear me blaming the victim here.
I just know everyone has different circumstances that allow and push them to transition when the time is right. I liken it to being different kinds of fruit. We ripen at different times. Transitioning should happen when we are ripe for it. And yes, I've been told I am as nutty as a fruitcake.
Hostility is misplaced anger. Let's use that energy where it will do some good.
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As an outsider to the "trans community" (I have only met trans people in the past year even though I've been actively transitioning for a decade), I have to say I'm quite baffled that there has developed such categorizations amongst trans-folk!
Seriously. What possible good purpose could it serve for _any_ reason what-so-ever!?! ???
casual sounding manner or even outright arrogantly by some of the younger transitioners ...which is really immaturity, but does still tend to push buttons
I guess what's the worth of youth without a high measure of causal arrogance (might as well do it while you can), but regardless, the definition of being mature is not allowing things to push your buttons.
Me, I'm a lazy intellectual, so I go for Occam's Razor straight off the shelf every time, which in this case isn't to wonder about the target of the hostility, but to wonder about the source of the hostility in general, and thus I'd tend to write a lot of it off as a lot of people in the age group you are talking about are a lot more hostile (or you're a lot more mellow, take your pick) then the generation(s) they are talking with. And I'm not sure if that is an actual hostility (and they have plenty of cause for it) or if that a more casual hostility in written communications as a direct result of doing so much of their interpersonal communication via the internet.
I agree with a lot of what's been said so far.
.
I think part of the problem is that, whether they be young or old, newcomers to the trans-community don't understand how these terms have been used in the past, nor do they understand what that past usage means to the members of the trans-community at large. Kind of like if a sheltered white farm kid moved to the inner-city, and started to use the word "Nigga" with their new black friends. In either case, people tend to react out of offense first...sometimes violently (whether verbally or physically)...often failing to explain where their feelings of offense and hostility come from. Sometimes, when rejected from the initial group, a person might think their derogatory usage of the term justified, instead of examining their word choice further.
.
Sometimes younger transitioners...being so different from their cis-peers....in their quest to see themselves as real...legitimate...genuine...(I think we've probably all felt a lack of those things at some time or other) latch onto such terms, not realizing (and with some...not caring) what the further implications for others might be (ie. 'I'm real/genuine' being most important to them...with the unthought/unspoken 'but you're not' often not even realized)...especially since often, at first, they have no real contact with those who would be effected by those implications (ie. older trans people). They use the terms, because they think those are the terms they're supposed to use. (not being completely informed)
.
Ignorance is understandable, and should be expected in anything at first.
To feel offended by ignorant words is also understandable.
Unfortunately, neither position is particularly helpful in resolving these issues of division and hostility.
.
Just like with "nigga", when a community continues to use a derogatory/divisive term (even if that term is intended in a friendly way), it can be very confusing for newcomers. Unfortunately, the trans community has not completely stopped using these "primary" and "secondary" labels. They're old...archaic...out-moded....but will probably have to be explained and re-explained to newcomers for many years to come until they die out completely.
.
The easist thing to do when offended is to lash out right back at the offender. With many...young or old...going through a 'second puberty' of sorts, it can be difficult to keep ones wits about them and respond with a cool head. Often in finding ourselves, emotions run high in the forefront, and we can easily forget that we, like they, make mistakes too...and are in need of a little extra understanding at times.
.
It's just like the homosexual community. We don't have two terms for homosexuals....one for those who are brought up in accepting/more-tolerant environments and feel safe enough to be themselves from an early age....and one for those who don't. We only have the one term. When they come 'out of the closet'....they're gay/lesbian....not 'secondary-gay/lesbian.' The terms 'primary' and 'secondary' in the trans community come from older times and philosophies best left in the past.
.
The maturity to let cooler heads prevail, so that an understanding can be reached is what is truly needed, but can be difficult to achieve at times.
Quote from: Northern Jane on December 26, 2009, 07:28:31 AM
When it comes to the terms primary transsexual or Type VI transsexual?
....why the idea of PT or Type VI is so hated even though it occurs in such small numbers.
I think it's sad but kind of funny how people can get all up in arms about words and titles and boxes and stuff. I don't remember what those terms mean, I remember people getting worked up about primary vs. some other types of ts before, but I don't think it's a recent thing. I think the more that people live their lives offline and don't get all wrapped up in definitions and words and boxes and categories and things like that the better off we'll be. Hmm, that's kind of contradictory I guess. I dunno, I think we have a great community. I don't care if someone is a crossdresser who will never transition and gets off wearing underwear or if they transitioned at 12 and look great or they transitioned at 68 or they are IS or whatever. I love all of you, be who you are and try not to get too caught up in defining yourself by conventional terms.
Live your life, ask lots of questions, be a role model for others and smile along the way :) I have no clue what boxes anyone would put me in but I definitely am loving my life, I know that. I don't really think people need to try to justify their manhood or womanhood, if we'd spend more time accepting and less time trying to justify we'd probably be more of a community. Who knows though? I think we all agree that this is a great place we have and we fight sometimes but that we come here to have a sense of community, right? Big hugs! Meghan
Amen Meghan!
I guess I used "the old terminology" because that was the 'current understanding' when I went through all that back in the 1960's.
The reason I posed the question in the first place is because I was one (under the old definitions) and I knew maybe a dozen others like me, young people who were so screwed up that they couldn't even make a pretence of being their birth sex back in the 1960's. They, the ones who survived and achieved SRS, disappeared into the woodwork to live normal lives. They/we are older now, have a lot of life behind us and have never had the chance to talk to others with the same experience - many have never had a chance to talk to ANYONE and that's sad. I have seen a few (very few) attempt to join forums but the response is often hostile - people denying the statements of the newcomer or saying "me to" when obviously their experience was much different, or saying "I would have, but ...." - all negating the experience of 'the old timer'. People want to be able to talk and share with people like themselves, people with the same experience.
I guess it is not a big deal. In another 20 years those who went through this pre-1975 will be gone anyway.
Quote from: Northern Jane on December 27, 2009, 05:51:54 AM
They, the ones who survived and achieved SRS, disappeared into the woodwork to live normal lives. They/we are older now, have a lot of life behind us and have never had the chance to talk to others with the same experience - many have never had a chance to talk to ANYONE and that's sad. I have seen a few (very few) attempt to join forums but the response is often hostile - people denying the statements of the newcomer or saying "me to" when obviously their experience was much different, or saying "I would have, but ...." - all negating the experience of 'the old timer'. People want to be able to talk and share with people like themselves, people with the same experience.
I guess it is not a big deal. In another 20 years those who went through this pre-1975 will be gone anyway.
I think it's sad that older people don't have a place where they can go and meet others like themselves, especially if they can't do it here (I don't know whether they can or can't). Just as people are "...negating the experience of an 'old-timer'" so too will others seek to establish themselves on some kind of "trans-hierarchy." I think that being an "old-timer" and talking about coming out a young age in a time when many people weren't is something that others view as threatening, it's as if it needs a reply like ""I would have, but ...." to remain legitimate. It's funny because so many different people do that here. If you go through and read posts there are always replies which seem to not really address the original poster's question or comment but seem more to be a chance for the replier to state why they are or are not like that. I do it too sometimes I'm sure.
I think "old-timers" should be placed in the same place as young transitioners and the people with SRS should be placed in the same place as the non-op and non-SRS people and those who "pass" should be placed in the same place as those who "don't pass." All in a big metaphorical open field where the grass is green and the sun is shining. I'll listen to an "old-timer" tell stories all day and I'll respect their struggle. I'll hear a young transitioner's story about being thrown out of the house and dumpster diving to eat, I'll hear stories about someone who got beat up for presenting as their self in a small town and I'll respect those stories too.
But, for me, none of them had any more or less of a hard struggle. It's such an individual process, the whole-coming-out-and-dealing-with-it thing. As much as people want to believe that it's easier these days, I see examples all over Susan's and irl of people who, regardless of support level, just can't bring themselves to come out to loved ones and work and friends. It's such an incredibly hard thing to do and the risks are so great that I truly understand it when people wait or don't do it. You never know how it's going to end up in the end. We have the internet today which is TONS more than anyone had 25 years ago, but I think it can be even
more isolating to people sometimes. They come on here and get so much support and love. People post pictures and get told how great they look and how "no one will know" then they go outside in their town and their experience in not the same as online. At least they have some level of support I guess.
I myself like hearing stories from older transitioners who transitioned when they were younger or in the 80's or 90's. "Squirrel Cage" and other autobiographies let us know about our history and I'm definitely one to recognize history. I just don't believe that one group "had it harder" than any other group or that any group deserves more or less
something for transitioning.
We weave a beautiful tapestry together, warts and all :) Meghan
The absolute hardest part about teaching history is getting people to understand that the past is not just like the present in funny clothes. The past was different, and people who went through that know of that difference in some ways. It's all too easy to get locked into the prison of the present, and not really see how different things in many ways were. I think it's even easier when you have the rather special set of circumstances you find today. First, very little interaction between generations (generational stratification), and second, a constant montage of things put in front of us masquerading as the past that are not really the past. Movies, TV and such while depicting the past, are always written from a present standpoint, one that may ascribe motives, reasons, values and outcomes to actors that were actually not part of the way persons acting in that age would have felt or paid attention to.
Add to that the fact that few of us have much contact with people outside of our continuum, like associates with like and pretty much their you have it. We don't have the kind of cross-generational communication deal in a nuclear/post-nuclear family structure that you have in more traditional family structures.
According to Zen Buddhism,
Hostility comes from fear,
Fear comes from ignorance.
Quote
When we are angry with someone, we take it for granted that the solution for our anger lies with the other. If the other person acts and behaves the way I want to, then I do not have to be angry anymore. That is why we so easily say that someone else angers us. We think we can change our greed only by getting what we want.
We always think that our anger, ignorance and greed is being caused by the so called outside world, by the other. Thus we seek liberation from our suffering in the outside world, in the other, if need be in violence. In short, we think liberation is only possible if some conditions are fulfilled. If thus..., then I will be....
The Buddha saw that liberation and being happy is not only dependent on external facts. He found out that it is possible to cope with unpleasant things without suffering, without having to react to it with fighting or fleeing.
In Zen we consider ignorance or confusion as the main root of suffering. Therefore in Zen practice the development of wisdom and compassion is stressed. Wisdom and compassion are like the two wings of a bird: you need both to fly. Discontentment and violence do not disappear by taking away the momentary objects of our discontentment and violence. Fear does not dissolve if we take away that which we fear.
http://www.zeninstitute.org/en/aboutzen/philosophy/main.html (http://www.zeninstitute.org/en/aboutzen/philosophy/main.html)
Barbie~~
Its not an acurate measure.
If I had not fallen into the clutches of a misinformed bigoted psychiatrist I would have transitioned at 21.
I got my head filled with a ton of garbage from that man and was incapable of transitioning because a man I trusted with all my heart told me I was perverted.
Yeah sure I formed a sexual perversion at age 9 and carried it around for a lifetime. I didn't have my first sexual fantasy until a few years later. But I didnt understand that the shrink was wrong until recently.
Hell I had to get past my ultra christian upbringing just to go see a shrink, then to have him 'confirm' my worst fears was too much I couldn't transition because I had no recourse. Transition would have sent me to my souls doom and mark me as a pervert for life.
So I am now 41 and just starting my transition. If I had goten good information and been accepted by the local medical comunity I would have had a vastly diferant life.
See what I mean when I say the catagories are illfiting constructs?