I feel that it would feel so good to just have a person who would spend the night with me and let me pleasure them before holdiong them until they had to leave in the morning. It seems like I'm the only one who appreciates giving pleasure before or instead of taking and still fills male. Any others as I lack the 'equipment'? I find the lack to be a BIG problem. I love girls, but they want what I can not give most times.
super emphasis on the big.
I think this is one of the worst things about GID. We cannot be the person we wish. No matter how hard we try. Yes MtF may end up with a functional vagina and realistic breasts and be able to physically satisfy their man. For FtM sadly this appears unlikely in the near future.
Before anyone jumps on me (if only >:-)) I'm talking purely about anatomical changes not about what is between the ears.
Then many many women say that they enjoy the intimacy, the kissing, the stroking, the loving and the romance much much more than the 'bone jumping'.
Cindy
There are guys content with mostly giving pleasure.
Don't know what to tell you about the equipment, in the same boat here. I'll never get to feel it. Meh, all I can really say is I know how you feel.
I guess I'm depressed because finding anyone who can accept less than natal guy seems like the impossible task. I would love to just be loved for me but I don't see that happening. I keep telling myself I didn't see it as female either, and I tried that route, really tried. I failed and was miserable at it as well as lonely. Now I just have lonely.
Quote from: CindyJames on February 14, 2010, 01:37:06 AM
Then many many women say that they enjoy the intimacy, the kissing, the stroking, the loving and the romance much much more than the 'bone jumping'.
Cindy
I know its what they say, just not the reality.
lordkat don't know what to tell you but you will find someone. i was lucky- i mt my partner when i was presenting as female but she guessed about the g.i.d (something to do with not letting her see me without clothes i think) and she happily(?!) accepts the male me. we may have only been together just over a year but we've had a civil ceremony and when i get my GRC in the distant future i know we'll be getting married properly. There is someone out there for us all
finding them in the next century won't do me much good, I'll be a ghost.
Then think of all the places you'll be able to get into! Sorry i have a sick sense of humour. But seriously- your a great bloke and someone will see that one day not necessarily when youre looking
All those, female only spaces you mean? could be interesting.
It will have to be when I'm not looking, it sure doesn't work when I am looking. thanks for the cheer.
Lordkat
Please stop for a moment. Let's take some stock of what you're looking for.
Guys, stand around, looking for a nice girl, they chat them up a bit then move on.
Wrong. Girls select the men. When a girl likes the look of you, and girls decide in a first few seconds, they send you the signals and you think it was your idea.
OK, so it's a bit unfair and a bit complicated, but that's life.
Spend your time on building yourself. Your career, your life. Girls want a man with some character, some stability, someone interesting.
When it comes to sex, you both deal with it at the time.
OK, so things will be a bit more complicated with you, but by the time it's got to that stage, that won't be a problem.
If it's a one night stand then do what you feel. If she doesn't like it, then that, quite frankly, is her problem.
my bf likes to find new ways to pleasure and not just receive.
But it might be because of me (not yet bottom fixed) being a bit with lack of sex willingness.
spacial,
you are depressing me.
you are not understanding what I'm saying I think. I don't always express myself well.
I apologise LordKat. I have read your post carefully but I accept I have misunderstood.
I assumed you are feeling a little lonely and isolated.
Being male is like that. Men might smile a lot because that it what is expected of them.
But since the source of your sadness is not that, then the most I can offer is a hand and empathy.
Take care.
I'm feeling a bit down on myself about the lack of 'junk' too. And I like giving too, but I also like receiving. And it hits me every so often that I don't actually have the right plumbing. It's very annoying.
I'd say I'm more of a giver than a receiver, but in the end they can be the exact same thing.
Quote from: Lachlann on February 14, 2010, 08:34:44 AM
I'd say I'm more of a giver than a receiver, but in the end they can be the exact same thing.
This is a good point.
One word: Realdoe. Now go enjoy. It's the closest thing to real since real's not an option.
Quote from: H205 on February 16, 2010, 01:33:29 AM
One word: Realdoe. Now go enjoy. It's the closest thing to real since real's not an option.
Somehow that doesn't touch the topic or answer the question.
Maybe you're just "stone".
Have you read:
Stone Butch Blues: A Novel (1993) - Leslie Feinberg * Amazon (http://www.amazon.com/dp/1555838537) * WorldCat (http://www.worldcat.org/oclc/27336208)
Never heard of it, I will look it up.
My misunderstanding and apologies LordKAT.
Quote from: SilverFang on February 14, 2010, 04:19:29 AM
Don't know what to tell you about the equipment, in the same boat here. I'll never get to feel it.
You may not get to actually have PIV sex with your natural equipment, but let me tell you this (at the risk of TMI, LOL): When your junk grows on T, try a pump. Seriously. Your junk gets huge (compared to what it was and is without pumping). About the size of a thick thumb, though maybe shorter because of the way its attached. With that and a bit of lube, and a bit of imagination, a hand or a sleeve, you can get a pretty darn good idea of what it would feel like to actually have PIV sex with someone. And all I can say is that (for me!) it feels way better than being on the receiving end of PIV sex. (Though sexual contact of any sort would be far better than going solo!!)
But I will also say, with the topic at hand, if you can stand the thought of using a Share, you will get some pretty good sensations from that, too.
Jay
Quote from: sneakersjay on February 16, 2010, 02:56:27 PMBut I will also say, with the topic at hand, if you can stand the thought of using a Share, you will get some pretty good sensations from that, too.
Jay
I don't know, a pump sounds painful and I'm skeptical about it. As for the share, I don't like having things in there. Maybe I'll get over it. We shall see, huh?
Quote from: sneakersjay on February 16, 2010, 02:56:27 PMWhen your junk grows on T, try a pump. Seriously. Your junk gets huge (compared to what it was and is without pumping). About the size of a thick thumb, though maybe shorter because of the way its attached. With that and a bit of lube, and a bit of imagination, a hand or a sleeve, you can get a pretty darn good idea of what it would feel like to actually have PIV sex with someone. And all I can say is that (for me!) it feels way better than being on the receiving end of PIV sex.
I can also vouch for this. You can really get alot of girth too pumping. It's like how sex should have always been for me. Such a relief.
Post Merge: February 16, 2010, 07:29:22 PM
Quote from: SilverFang on February 16, 2010, 06:30:13 PMI don't know, a pump sounds painful and I'm skeptical about it.
If you use it correctly it really doesn't hurt. It gets uncomfortable when the cylinder becomes too small, but then you just go up in size*.
*You start out with the nipple pump cylinders first which are much smaller.
I plan on pumping as soon as I get a bit more natural growth from T(its only been 6 weeks) I have everything I need to make my own pump. I have heard nothing but good things as long as you do it safely. As for the share I would never do it just because that hole i'm not supposed to have does nothing for me pleasure wise. But I have never had a whole lot of bottom dysphoria, the way I see it, I'm a man, I have the genitals that I have, therefore my genitals must be manly. Would I like to have a giant penis? Yes, but that likely wouldn't have happened anyway even if I had been born a biological male.
I will say this about the Share: It doesn't do anything to 'pleasure' that hole; what it does is position the shaft in the proper location to pleasure your partner, and pleasure YOUR JUNK (not the hole).
Hard to explain if you've never used the hole. PIV sex never did anything for me (kinda boring, actually!) LOL even with some really hot guys (as I was in the wrong role!).
Jay
Thanks for sharing Jay. You gave some interesting information. That would at least take care of the immediate...needs.
Problem still remains, (probably just in my mind) of how to find someone who can accept the differences that come with being with me. One night internet dating does not sound like something I could be comfortable with and seems scary to even try.
Guess i cheated cos I've always left telling people I'm trans until we're actually in a relationship. I have a habit of falling for straight women (which when your out as a lesbian gets slightly confusing). Anyway they've got to know me and slept with me (with all my hang ups and what i won't let them do to me) before I've told them. They have all been 100% behind me-it hasn't been an issue in any of the break ups. Maybe i've just been lucky and found women who are bi sexual or juast been lucky and found women that are willing to look past the presentation to the person underneath
I wonder if being younger or better looking helps. I'm an old good year blimp on steroids.
Don't think the age or the looks really matter. I've been an overweight spotty **** for more years than i want to remember - i think its the way you treat them. I've always tried to act like a gentleman-out of the bedroom at least and you will find women who really appreciate that
I feel the exact same way. It sucks big time. I guess it doesn't really affect me much at the moment as I have been single for a while now. But I do definetly know how you feel.
Thats why for me bottom surgery is a must.
Jay
Quote from: LordKAT on February 17, 2010, 01:50:20 AM
Thanks for sharing Jay. You gave some interesting information. That would at least take care of the immediate...needs.
Problem still remains, (probably just in my mind) of how to find someone who can accept the differences that come with being with me. One night internet dating does not sound like something I could be comfortable with and seems scary to even try.
Dude, I hear ya! I haven't had sex with a real live person in 5 years, LOL. Let's just say I'm very good at having sex with myself.... and all these toys. Hey, ya gotta do what ya gotta do! Cuz, you're right, a guy has needs!!
TMI TMI LOL
Jay
Guys, I can't pretend to know what you are going through. I will only speak from my experiences. My partner is ftm. We are going through this process together. I am supportive, as many other men or woman in your future will be. As for sex I am quite satisfied, as I hope he is ;-). Even a bio man and woman may have difficulties in this department. These hurdles will only make you a more attentive lover. That's a blessing for your partners if you look at it that way. Good luck to you all... I think you're wonderfully strong men and that is incredibly attractive. Xoxo
I haven't had much problem with sex in previous relationships, as all of them were begun before I'd come out as trans. That being said, even then, I still hated not having a "real" penis (don't mean to disparage for anyone else's equipment, just that what I had, and what props I could use, just didn't feel real enough *for me*). There's this weird primal need to thrust and penetrate that is partially sated by using toys, yes, but it just isn't enough. And now that I'm single, I'm wondering "how do I find someone that's okay with the equipment I have, and still sees me as a guy". And even then, I worry that as supportive and cool with it as they possibly could be, what if it's still not enough for me, because I don't have a penis? I know that it shouldn't be the be all and end all (and it's not, really) but it is a huge part of sexual identity (not gender identity, but sexual identity).