he said after they've diagnosed me with GID I need to wait to get referred to Porter Brook Clinic in Sheffield and they make me live as a man with no hormones for 1 year.
I thought this was an old rule and they no longer make you do this?
He hasn't been in contact with the clinic he's just read the rules which I'm really hoping are out of date as I can't pass for 1 year without T and on the odd occasion I do they think I'm 12.
I've tried contacting Porter Brook Clinic but getting voicemail,
I asked him about the rules and he said it depends where you live, so basically if I lived in London I'd be on T in no time which doesnt seem fair...I'm just really upset about it all.
It took 11 months from my diagnosis of GID to get a prescription for testosterone. That's at an NHS clinic in Devon. It definitely depends on the area you are in though, every clinic seems to have different ways of doing things. Kinda like a lottery.
idk about the rules there , but on general , you just do what you have to do to get to what you really want
the whole thing needs a lot of patience
good luck :)
It's fine I managed to get through to them, he explained it much better than my GP :)
Quote from: Addison on April 14, 2010, 11:57:44 AM
It's fine I managed to get through to them, he explained it much better than my GP :)
What did he say?
Hi Addison,
You may find these official NHS guidance booklets of use in trying to understand the system...
http://www.gires.org.uk/dohpublications.php (http://www.gires.org.uk/dohpublications.php)
I wish you the very best of luck ... :icon_flower:
:icon_hug:
Chrissty
Quote from: Arch on April 14, 2010, 12:08:23 PM
What did he say?
He said that 1 year living as a man is a guideline and it all depends on how my therapy goes etc. I'm aware I'll have to obviously live as a man for a period of time without hormones but its very unlikely it will be for a year as they're flexible.
Quote from: Chrissty on April 14, 2010, 12:15:24 PM
Hi Addison,
You may find these official NHS guidance booklets of use in trying to understand the system...
http://www.gires.org.uk/dohpublications.php (http://www.gires.org.uk/dohpublications.php)
I wish you the very best of luck ... :icon_flower:
:icon_hug:
Chrissty
Thanks! :]
Wow. That's tough. It took me about 5 weeks in Boston to get diagnosed AND get T. Good luck to you. Research as much as you can.
Quote from: Addison on April 14, 2010, 12:16:56 PM
He said that 1 year living as a man is a guideline and it all depends on how my therapy goes etc. I'm aware I'll have to obviously live as a man for a period of time without hormones but its very unlikely it will be for a year as they're flexible.
Even as a general guideline, this is bogus. Unless you already "pass," you can't really live "as a man." The best you can do is live your gender identity. I've never seen much value in this requirement/guideline.
I hope your therapy goes well and your T comes quickly. Keep us updated.
Quote from: Arch on April 14, 2010, 03:24:44 PM
Even as a general guideline, this is bogus. Unless you already "pass," you can't really live "as a man." The best you can do is live your gender identity.
I agree, stick me in a shirt n tie, make me weight lift for a year and shave my head to the bone, soon as i open my mouth the games over anyways. I can understand why they think its a good idea but really unless you do already pass its just awkward and possibly dangerous.
The good thing though is that at least the balls rolling for you. I doubt they will actually make you do the full year so try not to worry mate
I was referred to Sheffield too. Unfortunately, they have a VERY long waiting list. As in, years.
I asked to be sent to London or somewhere with a shorter waiting list, but it depends on your PCT. Mine would only send me to Sheffield.
I'm pretty sure that the policy with most gender clinics is that you live as male for two years before you can get T, so if you've been told one year, that's not bad at all.
The sooner you start living as male, the better in my opinion. It'll also be less of a shock to the people around you when you do get on T and just start changing.
Quote from: Gizzy on April 14, 2010, 03:56:07 PM
I was referred to Sheffield too. Unfortunately, they have a VERY long waiting list. As in, years.
I asked to be sent to London or somewhere with a shorter waiting list, but it depends on your PCT. Mine would only send me to Sheffield.
I'm pretty sure that the policy with most gender clinics is that you live as male for two years before you can get T, so if you've been told one year, that's not bad at all.
The sooner you start living as male, the better in my opinion. It'll also be less of a shock to the people around you when you do get on T and just start changing.
I've never heard of having to live as male for 2 years without hormones, 1 year doesn't sound as bad now.
How long did you have to wait to get T with Sheffield then?
I ended up going private.
I'm still in the waiting list. It's been about 6 months I think? I've not heard anything from them apart from the standard "you're in our very long waiting list" letter.
Charring Cross are known for being the best GIC with waiting lists of around 6-9 months. I've been told that Sheffield could be upto 3 years, but that's just what I've been told by other people.
Also, the NHS Choices website does only say one year of RLE. Apologies for that.
I talked firmly to my psychiatrist, and explained that I've been "me" for years.
And I have.
And My time of "no T" was shortened for it.
Unfortunately they don't do that kind of thing here. With the NHS you need to have lived as male for a year and gone through a mental health assessment. They will not prescribe without.
I think i'll be in for this long wait too. Does anyone know why it actually takes so long to get prescribed T?
I wish i had enough cash to go private, i've had enough of waiting it seems almost insensitive that they expect you to carry on doing so for a couple more years.
Ugh, NHS sucks.
It's even more frustrating that I've been been 100% sure of this for 6 years and it's took me all this time to do anything about it because the thought of my parents knowing is so scary.
It's not that it takes so long to prescribe T, it's just the waiting lists.
From what I've gathered with Sheffield GIC, they only treat so many people at once. So you have to wait for a patient to have completed their treatment course before another person can get in.
I'm pretty sure that once you're in there, you should get T pretty quick as long as you've fulfilled all the guideline things. The NHS always has their share of losing documents and stuff though.
Quote from: Gizzy on April 15, 2010, 09:07:29 AM
It's not that it takes so long to prescribe T, it's just the waiting lists.
From what I've gathered with Sheffield GIC, they only treat so many people at once. So you have to wait for a patient to have completed their treatment course before another person can get in.
I'm pretty sure that once you're in there, you should get T pretty quick as long as you've fulfilled all the guideline things. The NHS always has their share of losing documents and stuff though.
I've decided to go private, looked at various websites saying it can even be 4 years, not waiting that long.
I watched your video about going privately with Dr Curtis and was just wondering how long until you can start injecting yourself? Because if my GP can't inject me I can't afford to go London every 2 weeks.
I haven't learnt to self inject yet. I'm sure your GP would allow the nurses to inject you locally though.
Also, I assume you plan on Sustanon from your 2 weekl comment, keep in mind that Dr Curtis REALLY does not like prescribing it.
Just a warning, Addison, Dr C will strongly advise you not to take sustanon. If you want sustanon be prepared to fight for it. Ryan will be able to tell you more about that, since I'm on testogel.
Post Merge: April 15, 2010, 11:15:30 AM
Quote from: Gizzy on April 15, 2010, 11:08:29 AM
I haven't learnt to self inject yet. I'm sure your GP would allow the nurses to inject you locally though.
Also, I assume you plan on Sustanon from your 2 weekl comment, keep in mind that Dr Curtis REALLY does not like prescribing it.
ha, you beat me to it.
Yeah. I've had alot of trouble with Dr Curtis.
Either way though, he will do everything in his power to keep you away from Sustanon.
He can't completely stop me from having it though if I say I definitely want it and not testogel?
Sorry to butt in on you guys :)
Is there any reason why that particular doctor tries to keep people away from Sustanon?
Is there some really bad health risk every other endo isn't telling us about?
Just curious, being on Sustanon myself and all.
Dr Curtis' body doesn't react well to it I hear.
He claims that being Sustanon is like being a man on steroids. Gel and nebido mimic a more male testosterone level throughout the days.
He also lead me to believe that there was increased risk with using Sustanon long term as opposed to the others.
Sustanon obviously isn't that bad as it's the only form of T that the NHS prescribe as a rule.
Ah man that's bad...
Oh well, if I can't get it then testogel is better than nothing at all and a 4 year waiting list.
Hmm... I know the levels can be peaky in some people but I'd think he wouldn't be that biased given the amount of people that are on it without issue.
Interesting comments he puts on medical records. More interesting that you'd be allowed to see them afterwards.
"Increased risk" of what I wonder?
Sustanon's pretty much the done thing over here too. I personally haven't found it like being on steroids, but then again I also stopped getting mood swings the day before the shot by the 3rd one.
Well, good luck with that endo, guys.
Sometimes I'm actually glad for the American "system." Every once in a freaking while. I knew from the start that my insurance excluded all things trans, so I had no choice but to go private and pay out of pocket--and I had the money, thank fortune. If I had been made to wait much longer, the outcome would have been disastrous.
I don't understand the aversion to Sustanon... and it's definitely not specific to Dr Curtis. I had to argue with my Endo to prescribe it to me. At the clinic I go to in Devon, it's the norm to prescribe everyone Nebido which is injected every 12 weeks and is a 4ml shot and HAS to be done by a nurse. I wanted control over my own dosing, since it's for life, so chose Sustanon. Had to full-on fight my corner though.
Quote from: Tay on April 15, 2010, 04:21:32 PM
I wanted control over my own dosing, since it's for life, so chose Sustanon. Had to full-on fight my corner though.
Maybe that's why. I've heard that some practitioners don't like their patients to self-inject; maybe the NHS has an aversion to this, too?
This is not inspiring confidence in someone still awaiting referral to GIC, not in the slightest :-\
Meanwhile - slightly OT, but going back to Yorkshire - I'm getting pretty concerned about what lies in store for me at Leeds GIC. I've been trying to find some up-to-date information on things like waiting times and treatment of patients - articles dated late 2009 and early (March) 2010 are ringing major alarm bells, and I found something about proposals for reform to kick off in April. The question is, have they? I can't afford to go private, not unless I finally get a second job :-\
Quote from: Nemo on April 15, 2010, 04:26:36 PM
This is not inspiring confidence in someone still awaiting referral to GIC, not in the slightest :-\
Meanwhile - slightly OT, but going back to Yorkshire - I'm getting pretty concerned about what lies in store for me at Leeds GIC. I've been trying to find some up-to-date information on things like waiting times and treatment of patients - articles dated late 2009 and early (March) 2010 are ringing major alarm bells, and I found something about proposals for reform to kick off in April. The question is, have they? I can't afford to go private, not unless I finally get a second job :-\
My friend would have been referred to Leeds if he wasn't going private and after researching it does state they've dropped the waiting time from 7 years to 2 years.
I know it's still a long wait but its better than 7 I suppose.
Quote from: Addison on April 15, 2010, 04:34:03 PM
My friend would have been referred to Leeds if he wasn't going private and after researching it does state they've dropped the waiting time from 7 years to 2 years.
I know it's still a long wait but its better than 7 I suppose.
Seven years? Two years? Sheez, I would have been dead by then. Or catatonic.
Quote from: Arch on April 15, 2010, 04:36:22 PM
Seven years? Two years? Sheez, I would have been dead by then. Or catatonic.
That's why I'm going private, can't stand waiting that long.
i'm just waiting for my psychiatrist to refer me to a GIC and to see which one it is before i decide whether to go private or not. Don't think the general election is going to help things cos anything could happen with funding after may 6th
Quote from: Addison on April 15, 2010, 04:39:23 PM
That's why I'm going private, can't stand waiting that long.
Last year, I made a remark like my previous one, something to the effect that I wouldn't have been able to hold out much longer. And someone trans said, "Of course you would. You would have held on for as long as it took."
Try twenty years, you ignorant little...well, I'll be polite.
No, there is a limit. Some of us repress and repress, and then we explode and need to transition NOW.
But according to her, we all hang on as long as we need to. I remember saying something like, "Yeah, absolutely. That's why there's never any suicide in the trans community."
I'm all for an intelligent system of socialized medicine, but I hate the way some countries manage trans clients. I suppose we in the U.S. will be facing that hurdle soon, if Obama's plan actually takes effect. It will be interesting, to say the least.
But seven years, or even two, to begin physically treating a frequently fatal condition. That's like putting out a bonfire with petrol.
Quote from: Arch on April 15, 2010, 04:50:47 PM
Last year, I made a remark like my previous one, something to the effect that I wouldn't have been able to hold out much longer. And someone trans said, "Of course you would. You would have held on for as long as it took."
Try twenty years, you ignorant little...well, I'll be polite.
No, there is a limit. Some of us repress and repress, and then we explode and need to transition NOW.
But according to her, we all hang on as long as we need to. I remember saying something like, "Yeah, absolutely. That's why there's never any suicide in the trans community."
I'm all for an intelligent system of socialized medicine, but I hate the way some countries manage trans clients. I suppose we in the U.S. will be facing that hurdle soon, if Obama's plan actually takes effect. It will be interesting, to say the least.
But seven years, or even two, to begin physically treating a frequently fatal condition. That's like putting out a bonfire with petrol.
Yeah that definitely wasn't the right thing for her to say.
I've waited so so long for this and to make me wait any longer is just awful.
It's took me 6 years to pluck up the courage to go to my GP, don't particularly want to wait another 7!
If it's 4-7 years for T I dread to think what the waiting list time is for top surgery.
Quote from: Addison on April 15, 2010, 04:34:03 PM
My friend would have been referred to Leeds if he wasn't going private and after researching it does state they've dropped the waiting time from 7 years to 2 years.
I know it's still a long wait but its better than 7 I suppose.
2 years?? I can't even wait 'til the end of this month, and that's for the psychiatrist's appointment! I'm not even gonna mention the 7... Oh well, better start praying/saving... I am no way waiting that long.
The only good thing I have recently, is that there happens to be a clinical psychologist experienced in gender issues going to my church. Had a word with one of my pastors today, partly to get to see this guy. Whether that'll have any bearing on my progress I don't know - it'll get my deed poll signed though, since the vicar in question won't sign it 'til I've seen him...
Quote from: Arch on April 15, 2010, 04:50:47 PM
No, there is a limit. Some of us repress and repress, and then we explode and need to transition NOW.
Yep - I've only been aware of this for a few months, but I'm already at that point now. ... Is that common?
On the sustanon issue I have no choice - I'm allergic to nuts so will have to have Nebido.
I'm more concerned about the Leeds GIC waiting list being 2 years as that's where I'm getting referred to. Their website states 18 weeks for the first appointment and then 3-6 months before prescribing T (assuming you are livign full time during that) which sounds pretty good considering. Is there anyway of finding out for certain as if it is two years I'll ask to be referred to Charing Cross instead?
Cheers
Quote from: Dan on April 15, 2010, 05:08:24 PM
On the sustanon issue I have no choice - I'm allergic to nuts so will have to have Nebido.
I'm more concerned about the Leeds GIC waiting list being 2 years as that's where I'm getting referred to. Their website states 18 weeks for the first appointment and then 3-6 months before prescribing T (assuming you are livign full time during that) which sounds pretty good considering. Is there anyway of finding out for certain as if it is two years I'll ask to be referred to Charing Cross instead?
Cheers
I'm only going off various peoples experience with waiting years for Leeds, & one article stating it's now 2 years & that was from 2008/9, maybe if you call the clinic they can tell you for sure?
i think looking at the web sites i'm gonna end up at the nottingham GIC which doesn't seem to bad. And like others i have waited this long (20 years) before doing anything and now its not something that the door can be closed on again. Even waiting for my next appointment when i've had two and know i'm in the system is starting to drive me mad. but if i do anything drastic i'll get told i'm not stable enough to transition but if i manage to keep it calm i'll be told that i don't need to transition cos i'm getting on with my life. Thats the thing that really worries me
Quote from: Addison on April 15, 2010, 05:10:52 PM
I'm only going off various peoples experience with waiting years for Leeds, & one article stating it's now 2 years & that was from 2008/9, maybe if you call the clinic they can tell you for sure?
Maybe. On the other hand, they say one thing, but...
As you get older, you learn to be pessimistic (at least if you're me :P), especially when it comes to the NHS. Mind you, I did get a psych. appointment fairly quickly. I'm also planning to go FT as soon as possible, and it also says on the site that the "care pathway" is flexible depending on how much the patient has already transitioned. I already have a part-time job, so they can't pull me up on that either ^_^
Are we allowed to choose a different GIC if need be? Last I heard you couldn't, but that was in March... unless I've been researching so much I've got it tied up in knots.
Quote from: Nemo on April 15, 2010, 04:59:44 PM
Yep - I've only been aware of this for a few months, but I'm already at that point now. ... Is that common?
I've always known i should have been a boy but i've only just really realised i can do something about it in the last couple of months too so i think its ok. At the end of the day if you think its cool then thats all that matters really.
I would have been the one going to the GID clinic in Leeds. I read an online leaflet on it these are the main points-
- After you've been referred they aim to get you your first assessment within 18 weeks
-They then assess you which can take between 3-6 months, afterwards they have a meeting to see if you can continue the service care
- You will then get the 'real life experience' for a year, during which you will get your hormones
- You have to have been with there service for 6 months before they will give you the hormones
- For surgery you have to have been on hormones for at least 18 months and they have to assess you (again) to see if you are ready for it.
I don't know the waiting list for surgery. These are all just 'aims' whether or not you will actually get them within the time scale i don't know. I'm not trying to put you off just letting you no what i've found out.
I don't earn much, im on a part time wage so going private is going to make things very tight. If my parents take this all bad there's no way i will be able to go private. Still at least there is stuff out there and we CAN get the treatment its better then nothing.
Quote from: Nemo on April 15, 2010, 05:22:29 PM
Are we allowed to choose a different GIC if need be? Last I heard you couldn't, but that was in March... unless I've been researching so much I've got it tied up in knots.
I don't know for sure, I think you can request it but it depends upon the person who would refer you.
I've emailed Leeds to ask them, if I get an answer rather than a fobbing off I will post it on here so others know.
In theory, you should be able to choose whichever GIC you want to go to and request your PCT fund it out of area if they don't have an agreement in place - this is a service user right across all NHS "mental health" services (which currently trans services fall under). In practise however........
Yeah, I read that leaflet too. That's where I got the part about being flexible about patients already transitioning. What worries me is, I've read that what used to happen was that no matter if you already held a GRC, they still insisted you go all the way through. I hope to God they've sorted that out (if all goes to plan, I'll have already changed my docs and lived FT for a few months).
To top it all, after Al mentioned Nottingham I decided to do some digging. And I found this:
Quote from: Notts. GIC websiteReferrals are usually made via the GP. Referrals from local psychiatric or psychological services are also accepted, although we would like the GP of the person referred to support the referral.
That's just p*ed me off. Why is it they can do it, but Leeds GPs
have to go via the psychiatrist?! >:(
Dan: Oh yes please. Anxious minds want to know...
Nemo,
At least for my GIC, after a GP refers you, you must undergo an initial psychiatric assessment to ensure that the gender clinic is actually the place you need to be referred to... and not the mental health clinic :(
Thats the bit i'm having now and then Dr Ferguson is hopefully going to refer me on to the GIC. Hope theres not much longer to wait having to be sane for this long is seriously hard work :laugh:
Quote from: Nemo on April 15, 2010, 04:59:44 PM
Yep - I've only been aware of this for a few months, but I'm already at that point now. ... Is that common?
Yeah, pretty common. I've seen it again and again. It might be because even if you don't know exactly what is wrong for all those years, you know something is wrong, and figuring out exactly what it is, and that something can be done, and coming out, opens all of the floodgates. It did for me, but of course I had known for a long time.
Post Merge: April 15, 2010, 05:55:55 PM
Quote from: Dan on April 15, 2010, 05:08:24 PM
On the sustanon issue I have no choice - I'm allergic to nuts so will have to have Nebido.
Oh, dear. Will you have to skip the testicular implants? >:-)
Quote from: Arch on April 15, 2010, 06:54:59 PM
Post Merge: April 15, 2010, 05:55:55 PM
Oh, dear. Will you have to skip the testicular implants? >:-)
LMAO :laugh: I'm getting an extra big penis to compensate with free specially adjusted trousers for a life time to accomadate it dangling down my legs - and a porsche
Quote from: Dan on April 16, 2010, 02:54:03 AM
LMAO :laugh: I'm getting an extra big penis to compensate with free specially adjusted trousers for a life time to accomadate it dangling down my legs - and a porsche
Dan, if you're that well hung you don't need a Porsche. It might give people the wrong idea.
Quote from: Arch on April 15, 2010, 06:54:59 PM
Yeah, pretty common. I've seen it again and again. It might be because even if you don't know exactly what is wrong for all those years, you know something is wrong, and figuring out exactly what it is, and that something can be done, and coming out, opens all of the floodgates. It did for me, but of course I had known for a long time.
:icon_yes: If this could strike any more chords with me, I'd be a one-man-band.
The reason I'm asking is because various people in my support network (folks I've come out to) are concerned that I'm "jumping in too quickly", and that "it's only been a few months" - no amount of "This has been going on for decades, not months!" will change their minds. It was for that reason I left church with unsigned deed polls yesterday - the pastor was like "I'm not saying no, just not yet" and wants to wait 'til I've spoken with this guy I mentioned. Understandable from her viewpoint, but still frustrating as hell - stop dangling the keys in front of my nose, just open the cage already! >:(
Hi again - got a very quick reply from Leeds and they said that the first appointment is usually within 18 weeks of recieving a full referral. They disputed the two year figure completely and said if there delays it's usually caused by funding agreements not being in place. They were really helpful actually and emailed a bunch of leaflets back to me too.
nemo - I got my GP to sign my deed poll which has had the added advantage of not needing a doctors letter when I got my name changed with everything. Worth considering?
Quote from: Dan on April 16, 2010, 10:23:40 AM
Hi again - got a very quick reply from Leeds and they said that the first appointment is usually within 18 weeks of recieving a full referral. They disputed the two year figure completely and said if there delays it's usually caused by funding agreements not being in place. They were really helpful actually and emailed a bunch of leaflets back to me too.
nemo - I got my GP to sign my deed poll which has had the added advantage of not needing a doctors letter when I got my name changed with everything. Worth considering?
Thanks for the reply. Does sound like they've pulled themselves out of the dark ages, thankfully - and like I said, my psych. appointment was fairly quick to get arranged. Here's hoping it stays that way - and that they do take into account time already spent FT.
As for the other idea - hmm, you could be onto something there. When did you get it signed - how far along the transition were you? I'm just concerned she's gonna give me another "wait 'til later" response.. :-\
i got my deed poll done in January, 3 months after i'd seen my doctor but 3 months before i saw the psychiatrist. The day the deed poll came back i went to see my doctor and she changed all my records there and then sent a memo to the PCT and i got a brand new NHS number as well. Unfortunately they haven't cross referenced the new male me with the previous female me so theres a 38 year old male born on Jan 22nd this year with no past.
Quote from: Dan on April 16, 2010, 10:23:40 AM
Hi again - got a very quick reply from Leeds and they said that the first appointment is usually within 18 weeks of recieving a full referral. They disputed the two year figure completely and said if there delays it's usually caused by funding agreements not being in place. They were really helpful actually and emailed a bunch of leaflets back to me too.
That's great hopefully you'll get an appt. quite quickly then :)
Quote from: Tay on April 15, 2010, 06:10:28 PM
Nemo,
At least for my GIC, after a GP refers you, you must undergo an initial psychiatric assessment to ensure that the gender clinic is actually the place you need to be referred to... and not the mental health clinic :(
That's the protocol. Everyone gets that :)
Nemo - It was in January I got my deed poll done had just started living full time. I just asked my GP to sign it and she did. If you have already been referred for your psych appointment I don't see an issue. Good luck :)
Quote from: Nemo on April 16, 2010, 10:06:12 AM
The reason I'm asking is because various people in my support network (folks I've come out to) are concerned that I'm "jumping in too quickly", and that "it's only been a few months" - no amount of "This has been going on for decades, not months!" will change their minds.
I used to think that people just didn't understand and value the internal process that almost all of us go through before we come out to others. I thought that the friends were saying it because they themselves hadn't known about the person's trans status for very long. But then I talked to a few people whose friends/relatives said the same thing ("too fast!"), even after the person in question had been out to
them for a few years and were just now going on hormones. WTF?
I think that for some folks, any speed is too fast. Ya gotta listen to your heart and screen those people out. But I guess you already know that.
Quote from: Arch on April 17, 2010, 01:27:25 AM
I used to think that people just didn't understand and value the internal process that almost all of us go through before we come out to others. I thought that the friends were saying it because they themselves hadn't known about the person's trans status for very long. But then I talked to a few people whose friends/relatives said the same thing ("too fast!"), even after the person in question had been out to them for a few years and were just now going on hormones. WTF?
I think that for some folks, any speed is too fast. Ya gotta listen to your heart and screen those people out. But I guess you already know that.
Yes, I agree with this.
I've normally handled it by asking them directly - "Then how long is the right length? One year? Three years? Ten years?".
That usually either shuts them up, or they name a time frame shorter than I've already been "doing my thing" ::).
I think people don't say "too fast" because they're thinking about your welfare. They're saying it because they can't fathom what you're doing.
Quote from: Teknoir on April 17, 2010, 06:01:47 AM
I think people don't say "too fast" because they're thinking about your welfare. They're saying it because they can't fathom what you're doing.
Thats defo true. I think they just put it to the back of there minds and never really bother to properly understand what it is your saying. I also think they don't honestly believe your actually going to do it. So when you start taking hormones it hits home for them that this is going to happen. Obviously then they have to to actually deal with it so they say 'too fast' because they havent done that yet.
I hope that made sense.... ::)
Quote from: Teknoir on April 17, 2010, 06:01:47 AM
I think people don't say "too fast" because they're thinking about your welfare. They're saying it because they can't fathom what you're doing.
You could be right. But who can really understand bizarre cisgender thinking? :P
Post Merge: April 18, 2010, 02:00:21 PM
Quote from: Minkle on April 18, 2010, 11:33:42 AM
I also think they don't honestly believe your actually going to do it. So when you start taking hormones it hits home for them that this is going to happen. Obviously then they have to to actually deal with it so they say 'too fast' because they havent done that yet.
Makes perfect sense. In fact, that might be what happened with my ex. He knew about me for almost the entire relationship. For years (while I was out), I talked about hormones, surgery, this trans book, that trans person...but as long as I wasn't actually transitioning, it was all good. And when I was transitioning...all hell broke loose, in a sense. He claimed that he hadn't known it was a possibility and all sorts of stuff like that. Poor guy. It must have been quite a shock because I had been back in the closet for so long. :(
This all makes enlightening reading, although it's also disheartening and a little frustrating.
I tried asking my doctor for a letter to the DVLA etc., explaining that I was planning to change my name legally at some point. She, like the vicar I was hoping would sign my deed poll, said "not yet" >:( It's a little hard to progress when the people saying "too fast" are the people you need help from to move along the transition process :-\
Oh well, I have my psych. appointment next Thursday now. Hopefully after getting referred I can get the damn change thing in motion, 'cause it's really ticking me off now. I'm already applying for jobs as Sam now, 'cause I really don't want to go through another interview as a female.
Quote from: Nemo on April 19, 2010, 05:43:32 AM
...I really don't want to go through another interview as a female.
Oig.