I just learned a new term. The term is, of course, girl ->-bleeped-<-. For those of you who were like me and not enlightened to the meaning, it is roughly a female who is only attracted to gay males and fantasizes of being a gay male... Dear God, if I knew this had existed I would have identified and known what I was so much earlier on! Although, I'm still strange with accepting myself, I'm working on it, haha.
I mean, I can't be the only one who ooh'd and aww'd over the New Romantic movement and movies like Party Monster, Rocky Horror Picture Show, and all that is camp and delightfully gay... (Watched Rocky Horror when I was 12- life changing experience, haha.) I've always identified with gay men before straight men, and I've only ever admired one women as a rolemodel and idol for me. And this isn't to mention I adore, adore Slash and Yaoi (sorry if you don't know what those are :-\) and have for years, which is where most girl->-bleeped-<-s realize their problem...
Of course, I like straight men quite a bit as well, but never could fancy someone too much that wouldn't reciprocate; Hell, it's hard enough finding a gay guy to be with.
How do you guys feel about the term? Just a curious young person who feels a bit cheated he could've realized his dysphoria long before watching a Pete Burns video and being insanely jealous over him :).
(You guys are a great community, btw. I was worried I would have trouble talking, but you guys are all very open and kind and I am very comfortable. You're all wonderful.)
edit-personal info
So you're saying you're not trans, but a girl->-bleeped-<-?
Quote from: zombiesarepeaceful on May 04, 2010, 04:22:17 PM
So you're saying you're not trans, but a girl->-bleeped-<-?
No, no, I am. I just think that knowing this term would have made it easier to realize my dysphoria. I just threw it off because I liked girly stuff and guys and assumed I was just a girl who hated themselves for no reason they could understand. I think knowing and realizing this term could have opened paths for me.
While I love the idea of having something like that to identify with, I do have a huge problem with the word "girl" in the title. I'm not a girl and so how can I be a girl ->-bleeped-<-? Aren't I just a plain ol' ->-bleeped-<-?
Quote from: Devin87 on May 04, 2010, 04:26:04 PM
While I love the idea of having something like that to identify with, I do have a huge problem with the word "girl" in the title. I'm not a girl and so how can I be a girl ->-bleeped-<-? Aren't I just a plain ol' ->-bleeped-<-?
Same here. I'm a plain old ->-bleeped-<- anyday and every day, I'm not a girl. (Some girl->-bleeped-<-s transition btw, so I don't understand why they would identify with someone girl in the title, either. It would annoy me to bits.)
Yeah.....I don't like the girl part either. Then again, I cringe and refuse to say female and girl and breasts and acknowledge that I have anything but a penis downstairs, so...
Quote from: Rhalkos on May 04, 2010, 04:33:08 PM
There's the acronym '->-bleeped-<-' as well, for 'Female Anime Guy' - women who are obsessed with bishonen anime slash fic and fantasise about being a beautiful gay anime boy having sex with other beautiful gay anime boys. Many claim to be transgender, but live exclusively as cis women.
I've never heard of that. I have to say, I really don't agree with this one, it just rubs me the wrong way, I don't know why.
I like the term.
I ussed to identify as a guydyke before transition.
Quote from: Rhalkos on May 04, 2010, 04:40:55 PM
Prolly because you're not one of them?
Yes, that is probably a major factor, but something about it seems very vain to me that it just bothers me. It is just me though, I can be strange about things. Sorry for the hassle.
not one of them...
but party monster is easily in my top favorite 3 movies of all time.
Quote from: Rhalkos on May 04, 2010, 04:33:08 PM
There's the acronym '->-bleeped-<-' as well, for 'Female Anime Guy' - women who are obsessed with bishonen anime slash fic and fantasise about being a beautiful gay anime boy having sex with other beautiful gay anime boys. Many claim to be transgender, but live exclusively as cis women.
This has always creeped me out pretty badly. Not to mention pissed me right off because actually being trans and liking yaoi (on rare occasion) is way too close for the untrained eye to see. I'm betting most of those types don't have the usual freak outs over being in a body that doesn't fit like it should. I don't really see many people on y! gallery slink away and shut down their accounts because looking at that many boys together makes them feel horribly inadequate/envious/seethingly jealous... like I did. lol
Posting as a boy... a gay boy... that happens to have too many holes. Not as a girl->-bleeped-<- or a whatever. Wee.
Haha, I tend to not get jealous because I look at bara and I could NEVER expect to be like any of those guys. But I get jealous very, very often when it comes to singers that I'm not particularly in love with. (I love my y!gallery account, I could never live without it! *sigh* I have a bit of a problem, lol.)
Quote from: Roro on May 04, 2010, 04:47:25 PM
This has always creeped me out pretty badly. Not to mention pissed me right off because actually being trans and liking yaoi (on rare occasion) is way too close for the untrained eye to see. I'm betting most of those types don't have the usual freak outs over being in a body that doesn't fit like it should. I don't really see many people on y! gallery slink away and shut down their accounts because looking at that many boys together makes them feel horribly inadequate/envious/seethingly jealous... like I did. lol
Posting as a boy... a gay boy... that happens to have too many holes. Not as a girl->-bleeped-<- or a whatever. Wee.
Not everyone has horrible dysphoria sexually. I mean, I can watch porn pretty easily without feeling dysphoric, but it doesn't mean I don't wish I had a penis. I don't feel inadequate at all just because I can't penetrate a girl like a normal guy, however, I do get frustrated because I feel it would be a lot better for me to have a real penis.
So there are transguys who have no problem with this stuff. Granted, not all of those people on that site might be trans, but not every trans person has issues with envy, being inadequate or jealousy. I know I don't have a big issue with any of those. At least not sexually.
Actually I have zero problem with most of it. The sexuality side is YAY sex. I mean I can't deny it. I just get to a point in dysphoria land on occasion where looking at y! makes me feel even worse about myself. Maybe it's overwhelmed? I don't know.
Take everything I say for like the next week with a grain of salt. I've not had a cigarette in two days and can hardly be held responsible for making sense... or not.
Though I took down and emptied my gallery, I still came back in about two months and got back into it. I just have to remind myself not to go look on days I'm already feeling like poo.
You draw then?
Draw and write. Ayup. Both very poorly I might add. >:-)
Quote from: Roro on May 04, 2010, 05:28:46 PM
Draw and write. Ayup. Both very poorly I might add. >:-)
I swear we need a list of all the artists here, haha.
I draw, paint, and write :). I never finish anything I start, though :/ I anyone wants to, look up JessicaWonka on deviantart. It's an old name, blah, but it works.
Quote from: Lachlann on May 04, 2010, 05:31:40 PM
I swear we need a list of all the artists here, haha.
There's something in art that just makes me feel better. In writing I figured out a lot about myself. From the trans thing to the fact that I'm not ACTUALLY crazy, I just have little seizures all day. In drawing a lot can be expressed, though I don't draw as much as I used to. A friend and I have this plan to take over the world with art that portrays penises. I feel we're growing close to such a goal. lol. My dear friend, she rocks.
If someone wants my y! name send me a pm, I would rather not broadcast it all over the place. If you don't want to see or read about some really graphic/out there/kinky gay porn, don't bother. If you expect quality, don't bother either. lol
That word girl->-bleeped-<- though. I've been repeating it all through dinner. My man keeps looking at me like there's something growing out of my head. I should probably stop repeating it over and over again, trying to make it fit in my vocabulary. I think it just wont.
Roro: I love dick art! I have been making little clay penii and painting them exciting colours.
I know what you mean. I also kind of used art as an escape, though, because I could draw myself however I wanted.
I have a DA, but if people want it they're gonna have to PM me.
before I knew I was trans.. I guess you could say i was a girl ->-bleeped-<-
I somehow felt connected to LGBT.. and so I figured I must have been a lesbian, but then that wasnt right lol. And I lovd gay guys, and watching 2 guys together, and all that jaz... I was so confused as to why I liked that stuff.
Quote from: Elijah on May 04, 2010, 06:07:15 PM
before I knew I was trans.. I guess you could say i was a girl ->-bleeped-<-
I somehow felt connected to LGBT.. and so I figured I must have been a lesbian, but then that wasnt right lol. And I lovd gay guys, and watching 2 guys together, and all that jaz... I was so confused as to why I liked that stuff.
Me too, and if I had read this thread when I was 16 or 17 I probably would be jumping up and down right now yelling "I'm a girl ->-bleeped-<-!". But I'm not, or at least I know now that I'm not.
I've always had a weird attraction to gay men, even when I identified as a lesbian. Funny thinking back that I never liked lesbians much even when I thought I was one. Crazy. I always thought the attraction was more of a shared experience thing. I guess I just assumed that I must be a lesbian, because being with men as a woman turned me off.
I'm much happier now as a male-presenting androgyne who's mostly attracted to men.
But back to the topic, I read a lot of slash fanfics, and its just recently made sense as to why I'm so into it. I need to check out Y! I think...
// I normally hate twilight, but theres some really hot alternate universe Edward x Jasper slash...
Ha, that reminds me. I had a boyfriend when I was about thirteen, and I desperately wanted him to identify as gay. When he didn't, I realized I wasn't attracted to/couldn't be with him. There was also the massive jealousy complex, but that was a big part of it, too. How interesting. ;)
I don't like the term "girl ->-bleeped-<-", really. There are women who happen to like two men together because they like men, as women (sort of like how straight guys like lesbians), and there are those that, like us, like gay men because we identify as one.
(I'm actually pansexual but, y'know).
oh boy...I probbaly would have thought...that sounds like me, if not for the body factor because although I have endless amounts of yaoi...sensitive pornograph ftw! I am and always will be a gay man. Not a woman who is just attracted to gay men. I will mention however before I knew what transgender was I crossplayed ( dressed up like a gay bishie)at Anime Cons and sold Art, and I always did guy/guy pairings. In fact there is a con this summer and my BF and I are going :P As if we need more gay manga. :D
Quote from: V on May 04, 2010, 06:36:06 PM
I don't like the term "girl ->-bleeped-<-", really. There are women who happen to like two men together because they like men, as women (sort of like how straight guys like lesbians), and there are those that, like us, like gay men because we identify as one.
As I understand it, a girl->-bleeped-<- wants to be with a gay male, not see two gay males together. Boydykes are the opposite (being a male and wanting to be with a lesbian, not see two lesbians together).
So it literally is them wanting to be a gay male. Sounds like a gender identity issue, then, if it's not just fixation of some sort. If it is an issue of gender identity, then I dislike the term even more so...
Quote from: kyle_lawrence on May 04, 2010, 06:29:13 PM
// I normally hate twilight, but theres some really hot alternate universe Edward x Jasper slash...
oh PLEASE send me a PM of that!
Quote from: Elijah on May 04, 2010, 07:44:33 PM
oh PLEASE send me a PM of that!
LOL someone likes his fanfiction XD
Quote from: GothTranzboi on May 04, 2010, 07:50:28 PM
LOL someone likes his fanfiction XD
of course! especially when it is sexy vampires..
I have to agree...all my vampires burn in the sun thank you. BUT I like guy on guy fanfics...so that part at least I relate to, even if I'm not a twilight kinda dude.
Quote from: V on May 04, 2010, 07:19:27 PM
So it literally is them wanting to be a gay male. Sounds like a gender identity issue, then, if it's not just fixation of some sort. If it is an issue of gender identity, then I dislike the term even more so...
I don't think it's a gender identity issue as much as a sexual orientation issue. (I'm speaking to the definition, not to all persons who identify as girl->-bleeped-<-s). Girl->-bleeped-<-s do not feel male or wish to transition. They are women who, for whatever reason, are attracted to gay men.
It's a funny term, though I see it as... well you know, a genderqueer thing. There are women who are male-identified without wanting a male body, and men who are female-identified but are happy being in a male body. This seems to be a specific variant of that, a woman who is gay male-identified.
I can kind of get that, although it's difficult for me to really understand wanting to retain a female body.
Quote from: V on May 04, 2010, 07:19:27 PM
So it literally is them wanting to be a gay male. Sounds like a gender identity issue, then, if it's not just fixation of some sort. If it is an issue of gender identity, then I dislike the term even more so...
It's a gender identity issue, which differs somewhat from ours in that girl->-bleeped-<-s don't experience body dysphoria. If they did, they'd be trans.
Edward and Jasper? Eww, insest. Emmet and Jacob, otoh. :police: <-- that's my "village people gay guy cop emoticon". Edwards too whiney and emo for me. I'd be hanging with Emmet.
lol steals emoticon...YMCA...... :police: :police:
I find this thread very interesting. I probably would have identified as a girl->-bleeped-<- through my teens if I had known what one was. Like many others here I started out with an interest in yaoi/slash/anime etc. It took a lot of real life experimentation to realise that I identify as a gay male not just a female that has a sexual interest in men together. I still write a lot of slash now but its all sci-fi and real people, gave up on anime a long time ago! Interestingly I am now actually with a genderqueer woman who is equally mad on slash. But I wouldn't call her a girl->-bleeped-<- either because she wants to partially transition and does have an extent of dysphoria about her female body. It all makes odd-logic-sense in my own head anyway. But for me personally, I couldn't identify as a girl->-bleeped-<- just because of the word 'girl'.
Quote from: Alessandro on May 06, 2010, 06:02:27 AM
I find this thread very interesting. I probably would have identified as a girl->-bleeped-<- through my teens. But for me personally, I couldn't identify as a girl->-bleeped-<- just because of the word 'girl'.
Thats pretty much how I feel. I think I also would have tried to use it to explain my situation. So in a way I'm glad I didn't know about it, because it may have led to denial about my being FTM. I'm glad I came out when I did.
So, are they not called "->-bleeped-<- Hags" anymore?
->-bleeped-<- hags are the girls whose best friends are gay and who hangs out with them and such more then the hetero crowd. But they don't desire to be gay gay man, nor do they get off on the idea of being a gay man, with another man.