Hello there, folks. I've been having a bit of a conflict within myself trying to figure out what to do about pride. I've been going to the local LGBT pride parade for the past 6 years or so. Last year there was a bit of a conflict with a certain group of people because they insisted on calling me "she" even after correcting them a few times. I ignored it but I didn't really feel comfortable.
Now, I'm not sure if I want to go this year because of what happened last year and some of the issues being seen as a masculine lesbian woman as opposed to a heteroflexible trans guy.
Have any of you been to pride and have awkwardness for being trans? What would you do in this situation?
SF has a separate - but equal - trans rally and march two days before the main parade, and then a huge trans contingent in the actual parade.
I've never really been to pride, unless you count popping in for an hour last summer (but I didn't stay long, because I was with my mom, who got bored-- go figure), and at the time I was really juuuust starting to figure out the gender thing, so I wasn't openly identifying myself as trans, yet.
However, I have noticed similar issues within my college's LGBT group. Which is... more of a G group than an LGBT group. Anyone who is anything besides a gay cisman is subject to being teased and/or ignored. However, I'm pretty sure my college's LGBT group is uniquely obnoxious and not representative of the LGBT community as a whole?
Quote from: Nygeel on June 09, 2010, 01:10:50 AM
Have any of you been to pride and have awkwardness for being trans? What would you do in this situation?
Sure have. What did I do? I stopped going. I really don't believe in cliques and that is exactly what LGBT is--cliques. Each group is out there for themselves and aren't really too concerned about the real issues involving the community as a whole. Being trans, I think we will always be relegated to riding the back of the bus. In my opinion, separating the LGB&T is like separating the races--it makes no sense what so ever and amounts to nothing more than classism. After all, we are all in this soup together and many people outside the community hold biases against each group. We certainly don't need to be doing that within our own community(s)
I was thinking about marching and now I can't. And that's why. I felt really alone in my schools gsa. They were all talking about how hard it is to be gay and Im all...what about me?
And them insisting on calling you a she is downright unnacceptable. The t in LGBT stands for transgender, not treat transgenders like crap.
Quote from: Kyle XD on June 10, 2010, 08:48:30 PM
I was thinking about marching and now I can't. And that's why. I felt really alone in my schools gsa. They were all talking about how hard it is to be gay and Im all...what about me?
And them insisting on calling you a she is downright unnacceptable. The t in LGBT stands for transgender, not treat transgenders like crap.
I really can't understand the difficulty in being gay--really, I can't! They're covered under almost every human right and they are excepted by far more people than we are. As a matter of fact, it's kind of hip to be gay, no? I mean, I hear of so many straight people talking about their cool gay/les friend(s). There's tv shows which revolve around homosexuality. It's everywhere. It's ok. It's tolerated and excepted. No difficulties here, absolutely none! You don't hear of a near 50% suicide rate with gays and lesbians.
Quote from: Kristyn on June 10, 2010, 10:40:09 PM
I really can't understand the difficulty in being gay--really, I can't!
I can't either. Maybe because I thought I was a lesbian for a couple years, and came out to everyone, and had a girlfriend while i was living as a girl, and it wasn't a big deal. My guy friends thought it was hot, my girl friends where like "cool! boys suck anyway." No big deal. Being a lesbian was easy. Being trans and comming out is way harder, especially now that i have to explain that im not actually a lesbian.
topic... pride..
I've gone a few times, and it was alright. It was kind of fun to be hit on by EVERYONE last year. I went last year with a group of gay guys, and there was to much drunken drama at first. Then i ran into a different group of people, found out where the trans party was, and had an awesome time. If you go, see if theres a trans focused after party anywhere, or one that specifically mentions something other than gay or lesbian.
Quote from: Kristyn on June 10, 2010, 10:40:09 PM
I really can't understand the difficulty in being gay--really, I can't! They're covered under almost every human right and they are excepted by far more people than we are. As a matter of fact, it's kind of hip to be gay, no? I mean, I hear of so many straight people talking about their cool gay/les friend(s). There's tv shows which revolve around homosexuality. It's everywhere. It's ok. It's tolerated and excepted. No difficulties here, absolutely none! You don't hear of a near 50% suicide rate with gays and lesbians.
They don't have fully equal rights yet, and they don't even have half-human-rights in some other countries.
People are still put into "straightening therapy" of various kinds in western countries.
Being tolerated by "most" is not the same as being accepted.
Yes, in almost every country out there (though not completely all) the trans-folk got it even worse at the moment, but that doesn't mean they don't have problems to deal with.
Just cause person A has cancer, doesn't mean person B with a flu isn't sick at all.
They don't have an almost 50% suicide rate.... any more.... in most places.
I remember seeing some "straight but not narrow" folks marching in the pride parade. I don't see why being trans would stop a body from showing up and expressing support for GLBs. I know there was some scuff up over ENDA that seems to be water under the bridge now, but IDK. If you feel like you need to boycott it, or can't be sincere in your support, go to the mall instead.
Quote from: glendagladwitch on June 11, 2010, 06:58:38 AM
I remember seeing some "straight but not narrow" folks marching in the pride parade. I don't see why being trans would stop a body from showing up and expressing support for GLBs. I know there was some scuff up over ENDA that seems to be water under the bridge now, but IDK. If you feel like you need to boycott it, or can't be sincere in your support, go to the mall instead.
Why would a trans person go to a pride celebration to support GLB's? Are we not part of that group? Does the "T" not stand for Transgender? Or maybe it stands for Together? The point is we should all be in support of one another and I think many of the GLB's seem to have forgotten or have never realized what their predecessors once went through and came from. It's comparatively easy to come out as being gay/les/bi today than it was in the seventies and even though the public has been aware of transsexuality and transsexuals for many decades, we are still one of the most marginalized groups. Given that, one would think that the GLB's would be more understanding of our cause and, in my opinion I think they should, but that does not seem to be the case. It seems to me that the more acceptance GLB's gain within straight society, the more they distance themselves from us.
I never been to pride nor have I been to any event, group, sit-down or counsel session with anyone.
I've been wanting to go to centers and such but all the nearest ones are in L.A. and that's still kind of far and my mom doesn't want to be inter-looped with anything LGBT.
Interesting that you bring this up... I go to the local LGBT center for a bi-weekly support group. They are generally very accepting and kind towards the few trans-peps that are there, however, I've posted before about how the group is quite a bit more LGB than T. I've never felt out of place or like I wasn't important or welcome.
I went to Pride a few years ago, but not as trans. It was a really fun time, but I never found any trans specific events or heard any mention of T (well, except for the drag show... that's another story though, right?).
Now, there's a pride parade coming up. I asked at Support if they'll be having any T stuff there, and was told *I* should come and represent. *sigh* not quite the answer I was looking for... I mean, *I'm* the one who needs support!! lol :P
My local LGBT provides my IRL trans suport group free space in their offices for our twice monthly meetings. When we formed our group the LGBT sent one of the board members of the local LGBT to offer us suport and a place to meet and an ear should we need anything.
The LGBT has been good to us around here. (Spokane, Washington)
Tommorow I will go to PRIDE and march. (well, get wheeled around in my chair) I would feel like an ass if I did not do it.
They don't have an almost 50% suicide rate.... any more
That's the key point I think, that whole 'any more' part'. Because it was only a couple of decades ago - within most people's lives here - that it was true. And still the suicide rate is higher than the norm (and I don't think that 1/2 of trans people commit suicide either). So I think you have to look at what changed, who changed it, and how it was changed. It didn't just 'happen' like some bible miracle. It took a lot of work. It took people who were willing to stand up publicly and be counted, people who were willing to give both time and money to support groups and organizations and candidates.
Rather than blame the LG movement for our troubles, why not do something yourself to change the reality? Your local LG center will help a trans group with space, equipment and the like, but they are not doing to do it for you. If trans persons are not represented in your parade as they are in mine, that's your fault for not organizing a group and building a float (ProTip, don't weld in a skirt unless its full length leather) and marching.
Last time I did trans-march back about two/three years ago when we rounded the corner on Market and headed into the Castro the bars emptied and all the guys were out cheering us. I think a lot of this is in your heads, or because of what you read and not what you could know by being part of the community.
Tekla is right. Remember that once upon a time, being gay was illegal in some places. Considered a mental illness that could be cured. There are still backwards thinking people who feel it's perfectly fine to oppress homosexuals, but these days there is a lot of support for homosexuals as well. Part of what changed hearts and minds was showing that GLB folks were people, maybe even people that bigoted straights already knew or were related to.
Trans folk are still lagging behind here, but social changes take time and effort. I do go to Pride and I hang out with other gay males, because that is what I am. Some of them have never met a gay transman before. And yes, I have run into gay men who initially reacted with a hostile attitude due to my trans-nature. The best I can do is to be friendly, open and comport myself with dignity and intelligence, and behave as if I deserve respect because I DO deserve respect. Some of these initially hostile men have become friends and allies, because they now see that I'm a real person.
In many ways, we are our own ambassadors. There is no way to change minds about us if those minds never have to meet us. As long as they do not meet us, we remain shallow stereotypical ideas, and no one needs to consider the feelings of mere ideas.
Heavy on the effort, lots of it, sustained, dedicated, and motivated. If you are not willing to do it, you're really not worthy of having it.
Quote from: M.Grimm on June 11, 2010, 01:40:31 PM
In many ways, we are our own ambassadors. There is no way to change minds about us if those minds never have to meet us. As long as they do not meet us, we remain shallow stereotypical ideas, and no one needs to consider the feelings of mere ideas.
Meeting people is a two way street. It doesn't help our cause much if the people you want to meet and befriend do not reciprocate. That is how it is in my area, there is a lot of negativity toward the trans community here and just people in general. Are you starting to understand why I want to move?
Quote from: Kristyn on June 11, 2010, 02:22:37 PM
Meeting people is a two way street. It doesn't help our cause much if the people you want to meet and befriend do not reciprocate. That is how it is in my area, there is a lot of negativity toward the trans community here and just people in general. Are you starting to understand why I want to move?
But sadly life doesn't all fall into the grazing hands of the one who wants respect sometimes the disrespected have to show the respected that they deserve such before the wanter gets what they truly wanted.
To say we have nothing to do with the LGB denies some of our identities. Yes I'm trans, but I am also a lesbian woman. So many of us are not straight when it comes to sexual orientation. I go to pride to celebrate the diversity of the LGBT community, which is pretty unified where I'm at. I also attend a lot of LGB(small t) events because I want the opportunity to meet other women.
Just because there are a lot more LG people in the media does not mean life is easier for gay and lesbian people. Lesbian and gay people still have higher rates of suicide then the general population, in many areas of the country they are subject to just as severe and brutal discrimination as trans people, life is not all roses for gay and lesbian people. I face discrimination on two fronts, being trans and being a lesbian.
I, personally, enjoy pride. I was only able to stay for an hour or two this year because I had surgery three weeks prior, but it was nice to spend time with friends and meet new people.
Quote from: Kristyn on June 11, 2010, 07:31:50 AM
Why would a trans person go to a pride celebration to support GLB's? Are we not part of that group?
Well, in most areas, and most controversially in Texas now, Pride is excluding anything that does not look normal and present that non-threatening, squeaky clean gay couple family image that is carefully calculated to appeal to straights. Anything transgender, genderqueer, or even HIV is getting the boot. Here's an article on it.
http://www.dallasvoice.com/instant-tea/2010/06/03/dropping-a-queerbomb-on-austin-pride/ (http://www.dallasvoice.com/instant-tea/2010/06/03/dropping-a-queerbomb-on-austin-pride/)
So the question is, do you go to Pride and support the sanitized GLB, or go the the alternative "Queerbomb" event that was created? You decide.
Quote from: glendagladwitch on June 11, 2010, 08:07:51 PM
Well, in most areas, and most controversially in Texas now, Pride is excluding anything that does not look normal and present that non-threatening, squeaky clean gay couple family image that is carefully calculated to appeal to straights. Anything transgender, genderqueer, or even HIV is getting the boot. Here's an article on it.
http://www.dallasvoice.com/instant-tea/2010/06/03/dropping-a-queerbomb-on-austin-pride/ (http://www.dallasvoice.com/instant-tea/2010/06/03/dropping-a-queerbomb-on-austin-pride/)
So the question is, do you go to Pride and support the sanitized GLB, or go the the alternative "Queerbomb" event that was created? You decide.
This is exactly the point I am trying to instill here--the closer G&L's get to the straight community, the more they want to distance themselves from us--and it's proven right in the article. They've forgotten everything that they have ever had to fight for.
"->-bleeped-<-s?" The f**King day anyone, be they gay, bi, les, straight or whatever calls me a ->-bleeped-<- is the day they put a warrant out for my arrest! If there were a similar event as queerbomb in my area, I would probably consider going
I would be careful about broad generalizations based off a one sided article in the Dallas Voice. Many in the Austin LGBT community, yes even the LG's, were upset about the perception that Pride was much more corporate this year. But this does not mean that trans people were left out or HIV programs were left out. As a co-chair of Transgender Education Network of Texas, I can assure you that we were not only there, but that we were very welcome at Pride. Our executive director was a grand marshal for the parade.
I will admit that the current Pride foundation does try and promote a little too mainstream of an image, but that does not mean that anyone was excluded from Pride. To say that people were excluded is inaccurate and simply not true. By the way, even as a trans person I fit into a very heteronormative image, and I am fine with that. That is who I am, I don't stand out as trans or as a lesbian, but that does not diminish my identity.
As for the issue with the "quote' from De Humphries, we have discussed the issue with the Pride Foundation. A little background, De is a straight ally, not G, not L, not B, and not T, so don't use her quote to paint the GLB. I think the issue is that she is part of an organization that calls itself the Gay and Lesbian Pride Foundation, and as a straight person she does not understand that Pride is inclusive of the LGBT and that trans people were at Stonewall. She doesn't understand the history. In fact, many LGB people forget the history too.
Be careful about jumping to conclusions without having all the facts.
Quote from: katgirl74 on June 11, 2010, 08:49:38 PM
I would be careful about broad generalizations based off a one sided article in the Dallas Voice. Many in the Austin LGBT community, yes even the LG's, were upset about the perception that Pride was much more corporate this year. But this does not mean that trans people were left out or HIV programs were left out. As a co-chair of Transgender Education Network of Texas, I can assure you that we were not only there, but that we were very welcome at Pride. Our executive director was a grand marshal for the parade.
I will admit that the current Pride foundation does try and promote a little too mainstream of an image, but that does not mean that anyone was excluded from Pride. To say that people were excluded is inaccurate and simply not true. By the way, even as a trans person I fit into a very heteronormative image, and I am fine with that. That is who I am, I don't stand out as trans or as a lesbian, but that does not diminish my identity.
As for the issue with the "quote' from De Humphries, we have discussed the issue with the Pride Foundation. A little background, De is a straight ally, not G, not L, not B, and not T, so don't use her quote to paint the GLB. I think the issue is that she is part of an organization that calls itself the Gay and Lesbian Pride Foundation, and as a straight person she does not understand that Pride is inclusive of the LGBT and that trans people were at Stonewall. She doesn't understand the history. In fact, many LGB people forget the history too.
Be careful about jumping to conclusions without having all the facts.
Good to know. I've noticed the Dallas Voice does seem to have a bit of a bias problem. I think there is a lack of editorial control over the people who contribute to the twisted tea blog, and some of those contributors seem to be rather extreme and destructive. But I've also noticed there are some good ones. I'm trying to figure out who's who but I wish there were a more reliable news source for the area.
in Texas now, Pride is excluding anything that does not look normal
And the rest of the US considers Texas like the retard cousin we keep in the attic. Wonder why?
Quote from: Kristyn on June 10, 2010, 10:40:09 PM
I really can't understand the difficulty in being gay--really, I can't! They're covered under almost every human right and they are excepted by far more people than we are. As a matter of fact, it's kind of hip to be gay, no? I mean, I hear of so many straight people talking about their cool gay/les friend(s). There's tv shows which revolve around homosexuality. It's everywhere. It's ok. It's tolerated and excepted. No difficulties here, absolutely none! You don't hear of a near 50% suicide rate with gays and lesbians.
It's the "really, I can't!" line here that makes you sound like some sort of naive churchgoer. "I really cant understand why a man would want to have sex with another man--really, I can't!" A great example is how Iran has state-sponsored sex changes, but homosexuals are sort of... not tolerated.
They're not covered. It's still legal to fire gays for being gay in most states of the US. Also in the rest of the world a lot of places will still KILL YOU DEAD whether you're trans or gay. It's maybe tolerated, but hardly accepted. I've still gotten the "I don't agree with my gay/queer friends, or condone what they're doing, but I still love them." Or as a friend's mother who refused to help her when she was homeless, because she has gay friends said, "I LOVE THE GAYS, but i don't like what they do."
Also, hi, i'm pretty gay, my girlfriend and I feel pretty uncomfortable showing our affection in most places and when my customers start talking about family life and all to me, I have to keep quiet for fear of offending them with my life.
Post Merge: June 14, 2010, 02:37:39 PM
you know, really, that post is so aggravating.
It's as if you have no concept of families disowning their gay children, or at least abusing them heavily. Or not letting people know you're gay so you actually get raises. Or discrimination in your neighborhood. Or raping the gay away. Or a laundry list of things that just goes on forever.
How far in the sand do you have to stick your head to get to that point, being trans yourself? For the average population, trans = gay anyway.
So many replies that I didn't see. I ended up ditching the parade and went to the post-pride festivities. I ended up facing more crap than I did last year. More "shes" more of my old name...even after correcting people. There were also people handing out cards about some sort of experiment or survey for men. Although I knew it was likely I wasn't going to get a card for this (they'd pay $400 and I really could use the money) I still had a bit of a frown/bummed out reaction for not being pounced on for it.
Quote from: Nygeel on June 14, 2010, 06:59:30 PM
So many replies that I didn't see. I ended up ditching the parade and went to the post-pride festivities. I ended up facing more crap than I did last year. More "shes" more of my old name...even after correcting people. There were also people handing out cards about some sort of experiment or survey for men. Although I knew it was likely I wasn't going to get a card for this (they'd pay $400 and I really could use the money) I still had a bit of a frown/bummed out reaction for not being pounced on for it.
Geez! I'm really sorry to hear that Nygeel. Judging from your avatar you look male enough to me. Are you on T? Is there anything you could possibly think of as to why people would be referring to you inappropriately? Are you from NYC or upstate? If this is happening in NYC, I'm doubly shocked at the level of ignorance. Try and hang in there, hun!
Quote from: Kristyn on June 14, 2010, 07:35:25 PM
Geez! I'm really sorry to hear that Nygeel. Judging from your avatar you look male enough to me. Are you on T? Is there anything you could possibly think of as to why people would be referring to you inappropriately? Are you from NYC or upstate? If this is happening in NYC, I'm doubly shocked at the level of ignorance. Try and hang in there, hun!
Not on T, been out as male for a few years. There are probably things with my personality, the way I talk, walk, and my body shape that could be making people think "masculine woman" as opposed to trans dude. I am from the suburbs...so almost NYC.
Quote from: Nygeel on June 14, 2010, 07:45:25 PM
Not on T, been out as male for a few years. There are probably things with my personality, the way I talk, walk, and my body shape that could be making people think "masculine woman" as opposed to trans dude. I am from the suburbs...so almost NYC.
I think that once you get on T things will definitely change and, overtime, so will peoples attitudes. For now, just work what you got, hun, and try hard to rise above it. Use that negativity as fuel to make change--it will happen!
Quote from: Kristyn on June 14, 2010, 07:52:36 PM
I think that once you get on T things will definitely change and, overtime, so will peoples attitudes. For now, just work what you got, hun, and try hard to rise above it. Use that negativity as fuel to make change--it will happen!
I'm not entirely sure if the risks involved with being on T out weigh the benefits...so I'd rather not look at it with the perspective that I will be going on T and it will change a lot of things.
Quote from: Nygeel on June 14, 2010, 07:56:04 PM
I'm not entirely sure if the risks involved with being on T out weigh the benefits...so I'd rather not look at it with the perspective that I will be going on T and it will change a lot of things.
Do your research do what feels right. Either way, I'm sure it will happen for you as we have the ability within us to bring about change. It will work for you! Just don't give up and don't let anyone tear you down. ;)
Quote from: Autumn on June 14, 2010, 02:25:39 PMIt's the "really, I can't!" line here that makes you sound like some sort of naive churchgoer. "I really cant understand why a man would want to have sex with another man--really, I can't!" A great example is how Iran has state-sponsored sex changes, but homosexuals are sort of... not tolerated.
They're not covered. It's still legal to fire gays for being gay in most states of the US. Also in the rest of the world a lot of places will still KILL YOU DEAD whether you're trans or gay. It's maybe tolerated, but hardly accepted. I've still gotten the "I don't agree with my gay/queer friends, or condone what they're doing, but I still love them." Or as a friend's mother who refused to help her when she was homeless, because she has gay friends said, "I LOVE THE GAYS, but i don't like what they do."
^ This. Being gay may be tolerated
better than being trans, but it certainly isn't tolerated
well. At least, not from what I've seen. Just last year, on the military base I was living on, a man was beaten to death in the barracks after some of the other soldiers found out he was gay. How's that for acceptance?
For myself, I'd love to go to Pride for the experience. However, I'm not out yet, and as a result I haven't faced any direct discrimination to date, from TS folks or otherwise. (Of course, I've not met any TS folks in person, either...)
Of course, I've not met any TS folks in person, either...
Well, it does lower the odds of having any sort of direct discrimination ... from TS folks. And I do so love a winning strategy. But TGs tend to cross all spectrums so, just like the rest of life, you're going to meet all kinds.
A bit of an update.
This year I decided to go to the NYC Trans Day of Action (aka Trans March). I felt genuinely accepted, everybody was trans-friendly and pro-trans/gender non-conforming rights. It was about an hour by public transportation but I felt as if it was worth it.
Nygeel, that's really too bad, but I'm not surprised you were treated that way. Many GLB's aren't fans of transgenders, and Pride is a gay-only event for sure. I would say forget about it, you're better than that.
Quote from: Icephoenyx on June 26, 2010, 10:41:32 AM
Pride is a gay-only event for sure.
Not here it's not!
Quote from: Icephoenyx on June 26, 2010, 10:41:32 AM
Nygeel, that's really too bad, but I'm not surprised you were treated that way. Many GLB's aren't fans of transgenders, and Pride is a gay-only event for sure. I would say forget about it, you're better than that.
Many trans folks aren't fans of other trans folks, either.
I just feel as if gay pride is very commercialized and it's great if you fit into the "mainstream" type of LGBT person but if you're queer, a person of color, or non-gender conforming (or even all three) then it isn't exactly the place to be.
Quote from: Nygeel on June 26, 2010, 01:41:22 PMI just feel as if gay pride is very commercialized
Our Pride festival is so boring...and commercial...I don't know about other festivals, but I'm there to be GAY, not to buy aluminum siding or a new kitchen remodel. Sheesh.
ETA: Come to think of it, maybe the whole kitchen thing is pretty gay...:P
I originally went to pride to be in a place where I can be myself but I haven't really been able to do that at the pride parade. Trans march I felt way more comfortable.
I didn't go to pride as its early in my recovery to be around alcohol and such. I do not do well with big crowds because I get claustrophobic easily. Its always interesting to see what the town looks like afterwards.
Hugs
Quote from: Kristyn on June 10, 2010, 08:37:42 PM
Being trans, I think we will always be relegated to riding the back of the bus.
My theory of why trans don't have such mass representation in these pride events is because that most trans people themselves aren't as open as gays.
For example, most gay people want to be open about their sexuality and date the same gender out in the open with safety. However, most trans people don't want others to know about their status and would prefer to live as a man or woman, not a transman or transwoman. Many trans people live in stealth to make sure they have a genuine experience living as their preferred gender, but for gays, it seems more healthy to express their sexuality. This may reflect upon the fact that pride events have much more LGB representation than T representation.
Quote from: mL on June 30, 2010, 02:37:15 PM
My theory of why trans don't have such mass representation in these pride events is because that most trans people themselves aren't as open as gays.
For example, most gay people want to be open about their sexuality and date the same gender out in the open with safety. However, most trans people don't want others to know about their status and would prefer to live as a man or woman, not a transman or transwoman. Many trans people live in stealth to make sure they have a genuine experience living as their preferred gender, but for gays, it seems more healthy to express their sexuality. This may reflect upon the fact that pride events have much more LGB representation than T representation.
I disagree. Sure, a lot of people are to some degree stealth but there are a lot of people that are somewhere outside the gender binary. I think why many trans folks don't go to pride is because there aren't always trans-friendly/trans-aware people at pride. I mean, in my past I've been see as a lesbian at pride as opposed to trans. I've had lesbian and bisexual friends severely mistreat trans people. Heck, I knew a woman who was the most transphobic person I've met and she was bisexual/married to a woman. Her cousin came out as trans and it was just...bad.
The trans march was strictly trans people and allies/supporters so it's a safe place and nobody will use the wrong pronoun (a lot of people that are unsure will ask what pronoun you prefer).
That's interesting Nygeel, I wonder why she would be transphobic, and she is in a homosexual relationship....a marriage yet! She's really not one to talk. Do you know why she acted this way?
Mind you, I new of a transwoman who was homophobic, so there is no doubt animosity between the various GLB, and T groups. Another reason why they should not be lumped together in an umbrella term, as we have been discussing.
Chrissi
She just doesn't get it. She had a cousin that came out as MTF who was cut off completely from the family for transitioning. She thinks it's fine to be MTF but if you get surgery then it's not okay, people should learn how to deal with the cards they are dealt, etc. She also said that all trans people are gay people that are so homophic and want to be seen as straight that they get a sex change. She also said something about how her cousin looks like a man in a dress with implants that "he" is not allowed around her son (from a previous marriage to a guy) because it's "damaging."
Since she assumed all trans peoples are straight (gay from her view) I decided to show her the website of a very out trans person that I know of (not necessarily Buck Angel but somebody similar). This person I showed her was a bisexual/queer trans man. His profile said how much he loved men. I told her that he was trans and she started using the wrong pronouns and said "no she isn't, she likes guys!"
It's a big fat facepalm and well...I haven't talked to her in a long time and don't really intend on doing so. I tried to explain everything to her but she decided it's better to keep the same view she's always had.
I personally thing LGBT should be collective because many LGB people are in some ways "T." Masculine women, feminine men...they can identify somewhere in the non-binary "gray" area. Everything just kind of overlaps. It could also be said that transgender community shouldn't exist on its own because there are plenty of transsexual women and men that dislike gender non-conforming types. There's elitism in nearly every oppressed group.
Nygeel,
I am not going to argue with people. My answer to you, is my answer to everybody.
We are way different. Gay men and lesbians are about Gender-Preference, and we are about Gender-Identity. But we have in common that we are out of the mainstream. Pride celebrates that.
We are not ashamed that the cisgender and cissexual world thinks we should be ashamed of ourselves, individually and collectively. We are all proud of what we have done to be who we are.
We're here. We're queer. Get used to it. That's what Pride celebrates.
Even though we have fractures in the LGBTPAA community, we are all queer, as measured against the average, the median, the mathematical normal. We have big problems as a community: bias, identity politics, sexism, hierarchies, sellouts, money-grubbers....
But Pride is one time that we transcend the fractures and come together. 10 years ago, the local lesbian bar tried to get me to stop using the Ladies' Room, because too many people complained. Two years ago, and last year, they invited me to ride in the parade float with their staff.
Times change, but people only change if we change them. You go to Pride, and march with Pride, and hang out with Pride. And if anybody, gay or straight, gives you any shyt, you answer them with Pride. And I guarantee you that, at least during Pride; you will get support you never expected, and the wrong-doers will be chastised.