Susan's Place Transgender Resources

was just doing a similar poll in the AG forum , i figured it would be interesting to hear others' thoughts about it

That's a really good question. I answered a little dishonestly, as while both factors are pretty much equal me, I am a little more concerned with the immediate problem of 'hairy, blocky man-body'. :) In the long run it'll be the way I'm perceived, though. Sensibility will win through!

Interesting question, for me they are almost equal, but having a body that corresponds with my gender wins out.

if there was a "both" answer I would have taken it, but I have to say the outside worlds perception of me wins out very slightly.

If I look male, I will be treated male, my trans status won't matter anywhere near as much to me then, I will be perfectly happy. If I could achieve this without hormones or surgery I'm pretty sure I wouldn't bother with them. I'd know I had a female body but if nobody else knew that'd be good enough for me.

I want to fit in, not like a square peg in a round hole to where I have to force myself in, but like a bird in migration. I want people to see me for my gender as if it is totally natural. Appearance is pretty important, because it's pretty difficult to view a guy with a beard and bushy eyebrows as a woman. However social acceptance is a result that comes from appearance, along with personality, therefore I'd rather the end result: to be accepted as a female :)

I voted "having the body that corresponds with your gender", because even if I am wearing just a top, jeans and am bra-less I still want the physical body to match the mental gender.

But I would have chosen "both", because I enjoy dressing a pretty as I can.

I would have also voted for "both" had it been an option, but I lean more towards just being socially accepted as male. Granted, having a body to correspond with my gender would be fan-freaking-tastic, being accepted as is just more important to me.
For one, I enjoy crossdressing. In no way does this make me less of a man. But even when I am presenting as female, I still wish to be acknowledged as male. Heck, even if I were to suddenly magically become an XY male overnight and people still called me "she", I would be downright upset.
Hence, I voted for wanting to be socially accepted.

I assumed this was for all trans folk, so I voted. My body. I don't care what other people think, as long as I'm happy in my existence.

Being socially accepted as male wins for me, but only by a slight margin, and only if it means that I'm socially accepted as male all the time, even with my clothes off in an intimate situation. And it's difficult to see how that standard could be met without a male body.

I voted the "Other" one. Since I have no plans on ever getting the operation (well, as of now I don't.) My main goal is to just feel comfortable with who I am, and have at least one person I can just be myself around, whether it's masculine or feminine.

Although if I could snap my fingers and be in a womans body and have a place to start anew I would do so in a heartbeat. But wouldn't we all. lol. 

I would rather be accepted as male socialy. And let me tell ya if I could just snap my fingers and have my male body I defently would. But that's just me heh

Having a body to match my gender.

This might change further down my path of course, but right now after years of presenting as a femme woman I just want to look more androgynous.  Right now I accept that many others will likely still read me as a woman or as a man (okay not this until changes are made,) for various factors like minds being stuck on the binary concept and the need to categorize.  I struggle to break free of those habits myself.

Erm.  Right now I am just beginning all over.  Changing how I dress, my hair.  Binding.  Trying to develop musculature in certain areas of my body, especially arms & shoulders.

I don't know if other things could ever be "fixed" physically.  My hips... ugh.  My internal organs.

Maybe one day it will be more important to have recognition from others, I just have anxiety that it might be rather difficult so I guess I don't want to get my hopes up.

A (fairly) male body is more important to me. I don't have to deal with society all the time, plus some people treated me fine even before transition. But I have to deal with my body all the time.

I really don't care what others think. I know I use to, to the point of panic attacks. Then, I would have wanted to tick both, with an emphasis on the second. Mainly because, with a decent bodyshape, I could work on people.

They are almost equal, but being able to live my life as a woman is more important for me.  I can ignore my body, but having to pretend to be a man got to be too much.

- Kate

Both are important to me, but being seen by others as male wins out slightly. I could tolerate, if I had to, living with a female body if I could live in isolation. But when I am interacting with others every day, it's soul-destroying every time someone calls me "she" or "ma'am".

I'd rather have a body that corresponds with my gender.  If I could at least have a male body and someone called me "she" I'd be fine with it.

socially accepted as.
i can deal with certain aspects of my body being wrong better than others, but being seen as a girl kills a bit inside

I am like most other people it seems, it is like 50/50 for me but being seen and treated as the person I am on the inside is the most important to me by a hair.  It affects more aspects of my life and therefore I think it's absence would be more likely to summon the dysphoria beast, which is the thing that disrupts my quality of life more than anything else in this world.

On the other hand I don't think I have any hope of getting rid of dysphoria completely without completing surgery, so yes, very tough question :).

Quote from: Lewis on August 15, 2010, 10:25:26 AMBut when I am interacting with others every day, it's soul-destroying every time someone calls me "she" or "ma'am".

Thank you! "Soul-destroying" is the best expression I've ever heard for this.

It'll be really nice to be refered to as male, but in the end of the day LOOKING like a guy is more important for me.  8)

Quote from: Nero on August 14, 2010, 04:23:16 AM
My body. I don't care what other people think, as long as I'm happy in my existence.

Exactly this.  In fact, I very much enjoyed when I was presenting androgynously and confused people.  I held off transition because I didn't want to be seen as some typical "normal" guy, but the need for a male body was too strong.  Now I am perfectly content to be seen as male, but it will never compare to the satisfaction I get from looking in the mirror and seeing a much more male body.

Body/visual first.  Until I feel more confidence in my appearance, I will be too paranoid to act naturally in public.  I don't like being referred to as a guy, but I'd rather not be seen as obviously trans.

Have to agree with you to some extent though Chamillion :)  It is kind of fun to be androgynous sometimes.

i originally meant it to be like if you had 2 options , one would be having the body perfectly but someway people dont treat you as such or mistake you often . other option is people see you perfectly as who you are but you still have your birth body that bits of it make you disgusted or overburdened .  as almost everyone , obviously both are important , but it's practically impossible to have two values in nature that are perfectly equal . so if you had to chose, thats what i meant

me for some reason i dont care what people think or see me as , although i do care (or wish) that they see me 'right' . however being it unlikely i "trained" myself to not care , or maybe care less..a lot less
besides , i too dont have to deal with people that often and it's usually short impacts so getting rid of somethings is definitely more important to me

Quote from: Fencesitter on August 15, 2010, 12:41:07 PM
Thank you! "Soul-destroying" is the best expression I've ever heard for this.

I used to think this until I wrapped my mind around a couple key things - one was that it was more important how I saw myself than how other people saw me. I know it's not the same for everyone, but I was in the "soul destroying" thing for awhile and I managed to find a way out of it without actually having to change who I was physically. So it IS possible. I think it's a mind over matter thing really. Anyway, I no longer suffer like I did because no matter what, I know who I am. Of course if some wizard showed up and said he could cast a spell and give me the exact body I always wanted I probably would take him up on it. haha

Quote from: insideontheoutside on August 15, 2010, 09:39:03 PM
I managed to find a way out of it without actually having to change who I was physically. So it IS possible. I think it's a mind over matter thing really. Anyway, I no longer suffer like I did because no matter what, I know who I am .

thats what really matters ^_^ (was just being discussed in the AG forum)