as a Visibly gender diverse Person I get a lot of strange comments and people laughing at me. I've long stopped caring what strangers think of me. I was told constently when I was just starting my journey toward being true, that I would be bashed If I went out in dress or skirt with my beard. I've come to the conclusion that people attact people who they see as an easy target if you are worried about passing and fearful of being attacked then you are more likely to be attacked because you would be an easy target. not because you are differently dressed. I'm not stupid I know some red-necks hate anyone who isn't "Normal" but I've not felt like I was in danger. Most of the Violence toward Trans people seems to be from people who believed they were being lied to.
I realize that being as visbly different as I am with full beard C cup breasts wearing dresses or other very fem clothes is something outside of most peoples understanding but I do it with confidence and the only hurtful comments have come from Binary trans people.
sure some were possibly meant as insults like "Nice dress ->-bleeped-<-got" but when It comes from a car driving past there is no need to worry.
I sometimes get wolf wisles & "hey sexy" from cars that are clearly aimed at me I mostly just giggle and move on. mostly if comments are made it is best to just smile and move on if someone says hi or similar then I return the greating If I'm asked a question I'll reply with an answer unless it doesn't deserve an answer. any complement whether it seems sarcastic or not I reply with a simple thankyou.
I'm curious if anyone else has had strange comments or believed themselves to be in danger because of the way they were presenting?
and if you have recieved any truely hurtful comments from strangers in general public places I'm also curious I how those experances make you feel
Hi Kinkly,
You are obviously a strong person who can deal with life in a very positive way. I admire you for that. I have some TG MtF colleagues who want to, but couldn't pass as female in a tornado, on a foggy day with the lights out (including me BTW). I have never heard them complain about hurtful comments. Yes the stupid dumb a**holes will always get pleasure from the 'witty' insults that only they can generate, they seem to exist everywhere: same as cockroaches in a way, and similar IQ's.
I am careful where I go, I think being (in my case) female means I have to take the obvious female precautions, as I'm sure you do. Although when I was trying to present as a macho guy (failed) there were still places I wouldn't go.
Being different will always attract attention. One of the nice things about being different ::) but yes, we are in danger from the emotionally insecure people, usually young males, but increasingly young females, who 'prove' themselves to their friends by being hurtful at best and violent at the worst.
Hugs and take care.
Cindy
OMG, Kinkly, I didn't know you live in Queensland. :) It must be a fairly open-minded area because it can get pretty nasty in certain areas, particularly for anyone varying from the norm.
It's great that you are so resilient and these words and stares don't matter. Has it always been that way? I mean, have you just recently stopped caring or have you adopted that attitude from the start?
Quote from: Hermione01 on October 09, 2010, 04:15:41 AM
OMG, Kinkly, I didn't know you live in Queensland. :) It must be a fairly open-minded area because it can get pretty nasty in certain areas, particularly for anyone varying from the norm.
It's great that you are so resilient and these words and stares don't matter. Has it always been that way? I mean, have you just recently stopped caring or have you adopted that attitude from the start?
at first I was very causious wearing only unisex looking clothes and comments did hurt but I knew I couldn't hide who I was How would I ever find someone who would Love me if I was never being me. I would get laughed at a fair bit that never realy worried me given the chance I'd love to make people laugh as an Actor or a clown I enjoy the spotlight. when something is said in question form I answer so as to educate as I've felt more secure in who I am the easier it has been and I've been able to candle comments easier none of the comments has made me feel like crap except when Dad told me "you don't want to look like a freak" why not it is better then looking "normal" I tried being "normal" for the first part of my life It didn't work I didn't fit and people could tell I was different. people don't know that people like me exist when people see me it make them see something out of the ordanary if they react with words I'm fine. but if they decided to attack physically I'd be lost so I try to always be in places where there are people around It takes almost an hour to get into the city on public transport and the looks I get are no different walking down the mall in city then they are around my local shopping centre are you also living in queensland I didn't think I had put that info on here but thats. ok.
When I was younger, I got "Are you a man or a woman?" and they were obviously intending to be nasty.
I never had the nerve to use my prepared comeback back then, "Are you an (______) or an idiot?"
Now I would, and if I get it after my anticipated haircut, well, I will. But now, I act and move a lot more assertively, so I get less trouble out of people. I'm also just older, and I think I'm too old to be a legit target for bratty twenty-somethings.
Quote from: rite_of_inversion on October 11, 2010, 01:47:35 AM
When I was younger, I got "Are you a man or a woman?" and they were obviously intending to be nasty.
I got this question recently from a group of teens/young adults and my reply was "I'm a bit of both."
I knew they were being nasty but buy giving a friendly reply that they are confused about it it hurt or not if there only intention is to be hurtfull then replying in a way that is nice can realy mess with there heads without "bringing me down to there level"
Quote from: Kinkly on October 11, 2010, 12:15:54 AM
at first I was very causious wearing only unisex looking clothes and comments did hurt but I knew I couldn't hide who I was How would I ever find someone who would Love me if I was never being me. I would get laughed at a fair bit that never realy worried me given the chance I'd love to make people laugh as an Actor or a clown I enjoy the spotlight. when something is said in question form I answer so as to educate as I've felt more secure in who I am the easier it has been and I've been able to candle comments easier none of the comments has made me feel like crap except when Dad told me "you don't want to look like a freak" why not it is better then looking "normal" I tried being "normal" for the first part of my life It didn't work I didn't fit and people could tell I was different. people don't know that people like me exist when people see me it make them see something out of the ordanary if they react with words I'm fine. but if they decided to attack physically I'd be lost so I try to always be in places where there are people around It takes almost an hour to get into the city on public transport and the looks I get are no different walking down the mall in city then they are around my local shopping centre are you also living in queensland I didn't think I had put that info on here but thats. ok.
I used to live in Qld, some areas are okay but others are plain redneck closed minded communities >:(. Btw, your location is on your profile summary page. :)
You have a pretty good attitude and that's great if you don't mind standing out which is the absolute opposite to me.
My attitude stinks most of the time cause I love being invisible, just being able to move about freely without being observed. So any attention makes me squirm big time.
I'm always prepared for the worst and if it's a good day, then it's a good day. If it all goes awry, I'm like yeah, typical. :-\