No really, we clearly can't pass as girls with names like "antonio" or "Mitch", so we have to change them...But how do/did you decide on a new name? Did you change your last name too?
I've noticed that it is difficult for some to decide a name... Mine is based on girls I liked at school...
It was a toss up between Virginia and Evelyn for a first name, but I wanted to be most like Virginia and I liked the way she pronounced it (She was from France)
Marie was another girl a wished to be like
It's tough to find a name, considering it's going to be something that will stick with us for a very long time. I knew why my parents picked my biological name (they were too lazy). But, it formed the basis to my femme name.
Since my female side plays things close to the chest, is somewhat cutesy and relatively drama free, I felt that the name should reflect it as well. So, I choose the name Lexine - which is a variant of what my friends named me as a girl, Lexi. And for those keeping score, my biological name is Alex.
Aidan_
Some folks are just lucky enough to have names which go either way - Dana, Adrian(ne), Stacy and Tracy come to mind - while others pick a variant of their given name: Marie for Morris/Morrie, Dani/Danielle for Daniel and Lexi.
My original femme name was Maureen for a tall beauty I fell for in 8th grade and it has little in common with my male name except the initial. My sweetheart named me early on because she liked the name and said I looked like a "Susan" to her. I liked it too, so it has stayed with me for 35 years or so.
Now if you like opera, Aida or Ida could be good starters based on your real name. Try names of girls you admire, days of the week or seasons (Sunday, Autumn, Spring and Winter) or browse through a list of baby names. I didn't stay with my first name and I know of many who have used two or three names until they've hit the right one.
Susan
I'm also having a hard time picking a name.
I was hung up on Naomi for quite a long time, but over the past 2 years I have started to latch onto about 4 different names.
A first name wasn't difficult, since "Ash" was a nickname of mine since my senior year of high school. I've noticed there's quite a few "Ashley"s, but I think that will help me to blend in more. (I haven't legally changed my name yet.)
The other two I took a while with. I picked "Lynn" for a middle name because I think it sounds very pretty with "Ashley," and because it uses the same middle initial as my given middle name. I'm still not 100% on the last name (which I'd rather not share) because it sounds very abrupt behind "Ashley Lynn," but I think that too works with blending in. Really, who's last name normally flows well behind their first and middle names? ;)
My current name actually flows fairly well with all 3 names. :p
Brandon John Langford.
In the end, my name ended up picking me and it fitted so well I just couldn't imagine not being Helena.
I literally kicked around names with friends for weeks based on old census data about names in use when I was born. We settled on one that's not terribly common, but not unheard of.
However, people can't spell it right. :/
Yes you just pick a name you like.
My really name is easily changed from male to female by adding a (ie) on the end although there is some crossover. I like the name and for me it was that simple.
Here at Susan's I go by the name Jillieann. Two of my favorite women. Jill my sister who we called Jillie when young. Ann the middle name of my lovely spouse.
Jillieann
Guess it just grows on you. I went a bit in all directions and ended up taking the obvious: "Emma" is what people at work have been calling me since ever all because Emmanuel was too long. For me, it took me years to like (and eventually love) the name I was given, so I ended up deciding I would turn it into the female version: Emmanuelle. Officially it will be Marie-Emmanuelle after my mother whose name also started with Marie-...
Emma
I chose my name when I was 5 - it was the prettiest name I had heard. There is no male form, it is classic, and it fits with my ancestry. That was 56 years ago so it has been with me my whole life (and no, it isn't "Jane")
If and when I transition, my wife and I will both be changing our last name to Stephens. A mutual decision. Her first name is Sharon, so to keep with the sibilance theme I went with Cindy, a name I love for both sound and meaning.
I just started using Amy just because I liked the name and I really wasn't considering it to be permanent, but it slowly started to feel like me and after enough time has passed it just stuck.
is it ok for me to post?
I figured out my name based on a few things.
1) my female name didnt really have a male alternative ex - samantha changes to samson
2) all of my favorite names started with the letter E. (edward, elias, elijah, edmund, edwin)
3) I liked how Elijah was spelled, and how it looked
4) i was told by people that it suited me, suited my appearance
Quote from: Elijah on November 17, 2010, 07:23:49 PM
1) my female name didnt really have a male alternative ex - samantha changes to samson
Sam ?
I ended up picking a name that I liked, was fairly common, and it fit.
Well I struggled with it for a long time, Thinking hard about it doesn't help at all. At first I was hoping my mother would name me but she doesn't like me much anymore thus refused to not only name me but also refuses to call me anything but my male name no matter what ¬.¬ :(
I asked my dad he suggested several names randomly half joking I didn't think he was very serious but never the less I intended to pick one of the names he suggested the one I liked the most when I started telling my friends they were all universally said. "Ugh no don't pick that." so I asked "what would you suggest then?"
They all made a various suggestions however everyone of them seemed to suggest 'Alice' it came up in every single time I asked the question different groups different times, Eventually I responded with "Yeah whatever... lets go with that then" *changes name*
I tell people that and they respond with "Shouldn't you have put abit more thought into that?" Nahh.
But equally I'm told by people it suits me, :| *shrug* intelligence of the masses I spose.
Your name is blondwidowspider? Wow.
(sorry :)
I chose Barbara, but my mother said I should chose a name "out" of the family.
So I sat with a baby book and wrote names out.
I wrote out lots of names in differnt ways and settled on the one that A0 I liked the meaning of and B) could write quickly (like I had done it a million times :)
Julie: Soft of hair
I have a gender neutral foreign translated name, so I might not actually legally change it. But I have started in some cases to use an English name again. I only done that for a couple of years as a boy after I moved to the UK before I reverted to using my legal foreign name. However, I have used my full initials to sign off in messages etc. and been referred to by such. That particular initial sounds very very close to a girl name, and I am happy to have that girl name as my name. It even let me keep my initial so long as I choose an appropriate middle name, and I have one in mind from personal experience of people I know. :)
Hi Aidan
It's strange but I asked my parents how they should call me when I was born a girl.
Well, now I'm named to my mother.
I did n't change it further.
So my name is given to me by my parents.
hugs
annette
I drove myself nuts trying to come up with a name. I knew I wanted a name that was light years apart from my birth name because all my life I hated my birth name because it did not fit my identity, I even hated telling people what my birth name was. So I had need to have a new name no where close. I had to just give up trying to think of a name and told myself, let your sub concious pick a name and I stopped thinking about it.
This was at a time when I was doing legal work for an environmental group that was fighting a county government over wetlands being drained so I had my brain in full gear doing case studies and working with the county attorney on environmental law so my new name was very far away from me. Then one day I was working on an Environmental Assesment Worksheet for the state when suddenly it hit me. The name Jalene Marie came screaming into my mind out of no where. I actually felt shocked because it seemed as if someone behind me shouted the name. That's how I got my name and it is so far from my given name that the two could never be mistaken. So that's my story.
Personally, I read a book series where there are, like, 150 characters, the names of which are listed at the beginning. (Les Chevaliers d'Émeraude / translated version is The Knights of Emerald, from Anne Robillard). Then I came upon one name that I liked and, contrarily to the one I had half-chosen, that one did not make me sound like a 80-year-old.
You can do something similar : browse a list of names.
If you place a great deal of trust on your parents, you can ask them to rename you. After all, people do not choose their names, most of the time. I will probably ask my mother to choose my new middle name, too, because mine is everything but female, and I could not care less about such a name I will never use. It will make her happy. Maybe.
I will change my whole name, first, middle and last because men and women have different forms of surname. I took my first and middle name from mythology, the middle one being Niamh cause it is both a popular name but I love how it sounds and what it means. Also as a tribute to my former self my new first name starts with the same letter and is the same length.
It was a long process, it took some four years and I went through a couple of changes along the way but one's name is so important and I wanted it to feel right. With time and a few tweaks along the way I now have a name that I love, that I feel that suits me and that I feel represents me. Now I feel like I just couldn't have any other name!
I asked my mom what she would have named a girl if she had one. She said Samantha. So that's what I chose. It's not a name I dislike. And taking the actual choice out of the equation and letting someone else choose made it a lot easier for me to settle on my name. She also seems to be attached to "Jean" as my middle name.
She calls me "Samantha Jean (Surname)".
(butting in here)
I had the same problem. My name can easily flip from girl to boy and boy to girl spelling. But, from so many years of having it associated with a girl meaning, I hate it. I spent a while worrying about it, not knowing what to have my future name as. It hit me eventually that I had been using my new name all along. Most of my user names in various places have the word "Rain" in them, and it fits me. It's who I feel I am. You just gotta feel it. It'll hit you one day if you're stuck. Just browse names, think about what all you've been called, keep an open mind.
Unless, ya know, you're happy with the girl alternative of your current name, then go with that. :P
I think you just need to get a feel for a name you like by trying it out for a while. I have the "original" male first name, which I've always hated, but I still wanted to keep the letter A. I tried April first for a while, then Amy. Amy stuck because I like the name, I like what it means, and it's what my parents would have named me. What's not to like? :)
Be careful, though :
-Choosing a rare or unpopular name WILL attract attention, and can help clocking you.
-Keeping your old gender-neutral name endangers stealth.
-Choosing a name similar to the old one (John -> Joan) endangers stealth.
-Not changing your last name can make you get recognized.
-Changing your last name might create tension with your parents.
I always liked the phonetic of K and so I tried to play around with names beginning with K. I had many ideas but none of them turned out to be overly brilliant to be used as something permanant. I settled for Kairi in the end as this is the name of a character in a video game which I enjoyed playing a few years ago just as I was experimenting with names. The first time I heard this name in the game I fell in love with it and within minutes, the decision was made. It is Japanese origin and since I am ethnically Chinese, the name goes not seem too out of place if at all.
My male name also incidentally begins with the letter K. I asked my mother why did she chose this name for me, it turned out that she didn't, but got a whole bunch of relatives to brainstorm a list of names which was then picked out from a hat. It turned out that I was named like that. Pretty unthoughful me thinks... hmmm... ::)
I have no intention of hijacking this thread, but whilst I am on it, how would you pronounce "Kairi"? I am aware of a pronounciation ambiguity since not too long ago...
-Choosing a rare or unpopular name WILL attract attention, and can help clocking you.
And apparently so will not flushing while you pee when you're pre-op. Who really pays attention to these things? I'm constantly amazed at the diversity of names here in the south. The fact is that all sorts of people have rare/unpopular names and are anything but trans. Lots of people here have last names as their first name due to family history, etc.
Its not like we wear name tags in public and someone's going to instantly realize Amanda is really A Man, Duh...
-Keeping your old gender-neutral name endangers stealth.
-Choosing a name similar to the old one (John -> Joan) endangers stealth.
-Not changing your last name can make you get recognized
Again, true stealth is only possible if you move to the middle of nowhere and no one from your male life knows where you went or what your new name is.
.
-Changing your last name might create tension with your parents.
Outing yourself as trans might create tension with your parents.
I'm not trying to be harsh, but pick a name that makes you happy and don't worry about the rest of it.
Quote from: Elijah on November 17, 2010, 07:23:49 PM
1) my female name didnt really have a male alternative ex - samantha changes to samson
Sam, Samuel
Mine actually come from my favorite movie and one of my favorite actresses. Her name is Susan Sarandon and the movie, if you haven't guess, is The Rocky Horror Picture Show. (Dammit Janet) :D
My middle name was a version of my ex's first name.
I did later find out that Janet is a female version of my old male name.
Quote from: Kairi on November 18, 2010, 08:12:57 PM
I have no intention of hijacking this thread, but whilst I am on it, how would you pronounce "Kairi"? I am aware of a pronounciation ambiguity since not too long ago...
English orthography:
keye-ree with the vowels being
eye and the
ee in
freedom.
Quote from: annette on November 18, 2010, 04:25:36 AM
Hi Aidan
It's strange but I asked my parents how they should call me when I was born a girl.
Well, now I'm named to my mother.
I did n't change it further.
So my name is given to me by my parents.
hugs
annette
I actually did the same exact thing, my mom said she would have named me Michael or Isaac, and I always liked the name Michael, so I figured choosing a name my mom wouldve chosen would have made her happy and feel part of it. Its all up to you though, the name you really end up liking.
There is nothing wrong with my birth name except that it isn't really mine. I named me like I named my kids, from a dream. My girls do have very unusual names tho. One is a number and one is German first and Norwegian second name. Go figure. The other girl I didn't name.
Boys for some reason, ended up with biblical names. One boy has a name I have rarely heard until recently. Maybe he is more popular than I dreamed.
Point is, we all have different methods for choosing our name. The method you use is up to you. The name is up to you. Whether you ask a parent, read a list, change a few times, or dream of it, you will know when you've found it. You will have an easier time figuring that out if you relax and let your mind flow free. Then you will just 'know'!
In a weird way I always believe ma journey was ma destiny...
So I used my real second (male) name....which can be female too - so no change there, just ditched the first one.... which also does in fact have a feminized option...
And also kept my surname as I loved my Pa.... and its who I be....
So i've always kept it real so to speak....
Works for me.......*s->-bleeped-<-s*
Quote from: niamh on November 19, 2010, 01:14:44 AM
English orthography: keye-ree with the vowels being eye and the ee in freedom.
Yes, that is indeed the correct and intended pronounciation. I had people saying it in a way which rhymes with
fairy, which to be fair, is also a legit pronounciation in English, but not in Japanese which is pronounces per syllable Ka-i-ri. I find that the English language is littered with pronounciation exceptions and names are not any different.
With name, it is usually just whatever the named person intends it to be. :)
Well, you do have a rare name. Foreign and rare names do this effect. For example, mine is French (where I live people speak French) (Ariane - OMFG I said it). I would not expect english people to pronounce it correctly (Ah-ree-ah-n). They will most probably do something like Ey-rye-ey-ne.
Well I asked a bunch of my friends what they'd name their daughter and I have emerged with the name Mirabelle. It is apparently a very old name from the Middle ages, but hey, doesn't hurt to try to revive it! Assuming it sticks, I mean.
Now my surname isn't as easy as just asking friends.
If you want to change but still feel a connection with your family, you can try looking at your aunts', uncles', grandparents', mother's names. Personally I'm still hesitating between keeping my old last name or taking my great-grandmother's, which sound better, and with who I have more of a connection than with my father. My father will probably get angry and disown me, however. He's a thickheaded person who understands nothing.
Quote from: A on November 19, 2010, 08:42:01 PM
Well, you do have a rare name. Foreign and rare names do this effect. For example, mine is French (where I live people speak French) (Ariane - OMFG I said it). I would not expect english people to pronounce it correctly (Ah-ree-ah-n). They will most probably do something like Ey-rye-ey-ne.
I've been leaning towards Ariana, I love it. It's doubly awesome because I love Greek history, and it's a nod to my Welsh heritage.
Mirabelle is wonderful!
I'm using Alia right now as my first name in femme mode, but I think I might just keep Ryan. Ryan Alia (surname). I find myself saying things like "Hi I'm Alia. Or Ryan. Dude I don't care just call me Ryan."
Alia holds a special significance for me. I've always been fascinated by the name- it comes from my favorite character in my favorite novel. St. Alia of the Knife! That being said, I could also go for Jessica, her and Paul Atredies' mother. Chani is too much. I always told myself that if I was ever a parent (MOM! I'm so stoked to be a mom. Eeek!) I'd name my kids after characters from that book as well, so maybe I should just save Alia for my Daughter, and use Leto for my son.
Ryan is nice and ambiguous, and Seattle's a small town, and I work in a small industry, so peeps are going to figure this s**t out real fast. Stealth has never been particularly attractive to me.
All your names. All your names. All your names, are now belong to us.
Seriously though you guys have adorable names. Mirabelle! Gush. Mira is Spanish for "look" (mirar means "to watch" and belle means, of course, beautiful. Seriously that's the cutest name I've ever heard.
*I would not expect english people to pronounce it correctly*
I knew 'exactly' how to pronounce it, actually, but then again I'm genetically Irish....
Le bon sens n'est pas aussi commun..... :P
I chose Alexander in order to revive an old tradition in my family of first-born sons with my surname being named Alexander. I'm the eldest sibling, so it seemed appropriate. Then my dad explained that there was nothing special about Alexander - it was just the Scottish tradition of the first-born son being named after the father. So if I want to follow that tradition, I should take my father's name, which I can't see myself doing. Apparently, trying to pick something family-related can complicate things.
I also asked my parents what they would have named me if I had been a boy. They said they considered Alexander, but decided they didn't like it, so they went with Christopher. I don't know why, but Christopher just doesn't seem to suit me.
If I don't go with Alexander, I want to choose a traditional male name that is familiar yet not extremely common, and not associated with any particular age group. (I think it's problematic when you can guess what decade someone was born in based on their name. This is the case with my birth name.) I think I'll probably come up with a few options and ask my friends and family which one they like the best.
There is always something, somewhere, that publishes a list of the most popular names this year, in order. Look for the (year of birth) one and look towards the middle. You will get names that are frequently used but that you will not find classes with 4 of them. Then try the bottom of the list. They were chosen several times, so they are familiar, but not common.
You can try this with other lists, too. Like, this year's list, 1995's list, etc.
Oh, for example, here's a graph of my name. It was apparently most popular in 1998, so I will be named like 12-13-year-olds, which is not too bad. It would basically mean that by giving me this name, my parents would have been slightly "visionary".
http://www.lesprenoms.net/Ariane.html (http://www.lesprenoms.net/Ariane.html)
I chose my name, Elias, because it would keep my initials (E.C), and my middle name will be Cornelius, to keep the E and the C and to keep at least one of my original names (I masculinized my middle name). I have always liked the name Elias, so that's also why I chose it. I think that my parents won't hate it, at least.
after a lot of thinking I think the name Alexia would suit me as it has the same meaning and initials as my male name although I would have preferred a Gaelic/Scottish name a its kinda a family tradition ...
Well, Rachel wasn't actually my original choice of name. When I first came out to my family and friends I picked the name Chandra, because it had all the letters of my birth name. At the time it didn't bother me to have a name that was similar to my male name, but the more I started using it the more uncomfortable I was with it. I started looking into other names, via baby names website, and Rachel was one that caught my attention. Eventually I narrowed the list down to Rachel and Sarah, and picked the former, along with the middle name Lynette. This time I am quite happy with my name, which is now my legal name, though I occasionally come across another name, and will be like "Ooh! What if I had I picked that name?". lol. One of those names was Juliet, which I actually took on as a pen name.