Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Have you ever feared you were not really trans? Or that you were just fooling yourself? 

Since I voted I figured I would answer. That's like "not being gay enough". I just think that if you're trans you are trans enough.

I know that you have been questioning a lot and that's good. Not the trying to figure it out but the wanting to be one hundred percent sure is good. It sounds to me like you are trans Alex. If you are then you certainly are "trans enough". If not then at least you took the time to question it and learn something about yourself and it gave you new friends. I know that isn't what this thread is about sorry I just have wanted to say that and I keep reading your threads then closing out before responding sorry.

the question is trans enough for what exactly?

for a moment forget the word and definition of trans, imagine it never existed. try thinking about ti that way.

I understand your feeling though, but you cant look at it so black and white or you'll get nowhere

I voted yes. Had I known that feeling the way I do is definitely a gender issue, I probably would have come out a lot earlier, rather than fearing that people would not have seen my feminine side before, doubt that I'm serious, and think I'm insane. :( It's too late to change the past.

I'm more confident in myself now, and my experiences will be different than those of anyone else. My 'transness' is no longer dictated fully by others' experiences or examples. Since the key word for me in the question was 'ever', my answer is yes. Now, I don't fear not being "trans enough", whatever it may mean.

I'm considering removing my vote, since I'm having way too hard a time understanding the question fully, and deriving the true meaning of it.

I voted "No".  Have I questioned how trans I am?  Yes.  Often.  Have I thought that maybe I'm not trans?  Yes.  Sometimes.  Have I feared not being trans enough?  No.  Never.  Trans or not, I am whatever I am.  The thought of a label fitting or not fitting doesn't scare me.

Quote from: Alexmakenoise on December 06, 2010, 01:13:40 AM
I voted "No".  Have I questioned how trans I am?  Yes.  Often.  Have I thought that maybe I'm not trans?  Yes.  Sometimes.  Have I feared not being trans enough?  No.  Never.  Trans or not, I am whatever I am.  The thought of a label fitting or not fitting doesn't scare me.

ooo this. i didnt think hard enough when i answered yes>.<

No, but I have wondered whether I was human enough.

I'm not sure what you mean by "trans enough."

I agree with everyone else.  "Trans enough for what?"  "Who decides who is trans enough?" etc.

However, I voted yes because I have had this worry, when reaching out to my local LGBTQ community.  When I reach out to strangers, I fear being treated like an outsider.  I wonder if I meet their expectations and how they might think of me if I don't.  I think that's pretty normal to worry about, even if it's totally unproductive.  I find it helpful to remind myself that there is no "true trans* narrative" and everyone has their own personal history and their own way of questioning and answering their own questions; there isn't a right or wrong way to be who you are, even if you may fall under the label of "trans."

Quote from: Forum Admin on December 06, 2010, 01:21:02 AM
No, but I have wondered whether I was human enough.

I question that all the time :|

I've never felt that I wasn't trans enough but I've also felt I was fooling myself, maybe I don't get what you mean by trans enough?

I answered "yes", under the assumption that you mean "trans enough to transition". That's something I'm quite worried about on occasion.

It's a common worry for me that I am "not trans enough," as in

- not aligning with typical gendered behavior enough that people close to me take my trans-ness seriously
- not exhibiting strong enough indications of my gender, so that I'm treated according to my sex
- might never be happy with a physical transition, that it's a mistake to wish for one
- would never pass consistently and would never be read like a cis person (or would that be "too trans"?)
- totally mistaken about my own feelings, and what gender identity is, and where mine is at (...I realize this is kind of dumb)

I'm a super worrywart though, so don't take it as an indication of typical trans* mentality or anything.

I voted yes because I see self doubt as the fuel of thinking. When I stop thinking I'll stop living.

Self doubt is to be valued, not feared.

I was thinking about this earlier today. How much I dislike begin a transsexual.

How I would rather spend this electrolysis money on a gift for a friend or a new hobby. But no I have to deal with the horrible pain and expense of electrolysis the knowledge that I'm missing so many years of my life, And the anger and scorn of my own family the feelings of isolation.

And part of me said. "perhaps your not." Maybe I wasn't really a transsexual, if I wasn't trans enough to be detected as a child maybe I'm not trans enough to transition maybe this is just a delusion. afterall my earliest dysphora memory is only age 10 isn't it supposed to be early childhood like your earliest memory?
Ultimately tho I can't get over the fact while I dislike begin trans and never asked for this crappy situation I hated having to live a lie as a male more.

I don't know that fear is the right word, but I think most people question themselves at sometime or another.

For me, the fear was that it was all in my head, that because I didn't identify with transsexuals who had known from toddlerhood and wanted a complete medical transition and were 100% gender-conforming, I wasn't really trans. That my pain was due to some sort of weakness or failure or internalized misogyny.

Am I transsexual? I don't know. Am I somewhere under the transgender umbrella? Yes. How do I know that? Because as I've taken my baby steps towards coming out and living as the person I want to be, the dysphoria and pain has slowly but surely been lifting. And THAT is what matters, not the label I give myself.

I answered yes... In the sense that I don't always experience dysphoria.  I have viewed examples of girls/ guys transitioning to their appropriate gender at younger ages, or at older ages with I feel like more resoluteness than me at the current moment.  Maybe, the right time has not arrived for me yet.  I think there is always going to be self-doubt there; that is part of the process to self-discover what is the right course of action.  So, in that sense, I have feared "not being trans enough." 

Sometimes I wonder.  I've never been very masculine, but I don't think I've been very feminine either.  Family have noticed my depression in the past, but never knew why, and my parents don't believe me when I tell them the reason.  I don't really have an aversion to being male socially in the nerdy/software sphere, but I feel like I'm from a completely different species with males outside of it.  I do feel much more at home in groups of girls, but still, the social aspects alone don't justify transition to me.

I guess what's really pushing me is that I'm *terrified* of growing old as a man... or even of growing any more physically masculine than I already am.  The thought of it makes me sick to my stomach.  Even if I don't fit in completely as a woman socially, I can't bear wasting my life in a male shell.  I know that transition is what I need now, but in the past I've definitely feared that I wasn't "trans enough."

I have indeed feared that I wasn't "trans enough" to be accepted as such by the trans community, as I have seen lots of people being accused if it. I've had other trans guys subtly accuse me of being a "poseur" because I do not fit the stereotype of what a man/transman should be. I stopped hanging around that forum. Thinking that because I was so unlike most other transguys made me seriously question if I was trans at all.
Then I realized, "Eff what they say. I might not fit the model, but at least I'm sure of it."

Quote from: Nathan. on December 06, 2010, 09:35:06 AM
...I've also felt I was fooling myself...

Oh, yea I've been there. I just think it's one of the many stages many of us go through trying to come to terms with everything.

Quote from: Yakshini on December 07, 2010, 01:25:36 AM
I have indeed feared that I wasn't "trans enough" to be accepted as such by the trans community, as I have seen lots of people being accused if it. I've had other trans guys subtly accuse me of being a "poseur" because I do not fit the stereotype of what a man/transman should be.

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F26.media.tumblr.com%2Ftumblr_lbme68fVbL1qe91wdo1_250.jpg&hash=650a1f605739360d88a942dd7f26330b2e92ce7b)

Oh I've also noticed, Bluetraveller and someone who shall remain unnamed blog's followers have been calling all the FTM's on YouTube FTBishies now because I guess they don't look masculine enough to her to warrant being trans.

Quote from: Forum Admin on December 06, 2010, 01:21:02 AMNo, but I have wondered whether I was human enough.

Glad to know there's another one in the club. :)

I'll take it one step farther and I've even wondered if I am human. I think some of that had to do with being trans but thinking there was no one else out there like me. No other transmen anyway, I knew transwomen existed. I sometimes think I suffered (and sometime still do) from periods of dissociation and depersonalisation.

Quote from: Shayne on December 07, 2010, 01:47:34 AM...Bluetraveller... has been calling all the FTM's on YouTube FTBishies now because I guess they don't look masculine enough to her to warrant being trans.

I may get crap for this but I have a theory. I wonder if she's convinced herself she isn't trans but still, subconsciously, thinks she might be.

I'm glad that people reflect and do self-exploration before transitioning. I'm glad when a person thinks they're trans but then discovers they're aren't. I'd hate to think a non-trans person would go through with transition just to find out it was a mistake and become miserable.

I can also understand them sharing their experience to make people think. However, she went too far. She generalized and stereotyped beyond belief. She felt her experience should be read by everybody (per her thread title) and that everybody should question their transness.

She also spread this mindset into every thread she commented in- even when it was off topic. I can understand helping those who aren't sure, but stop being patronizing to those who are sure. It got to the point of obsession.

In my experience when someone's like this it usually means they're questioning themselves but don't want to admit it (not just on trans things but anything).

Quote from: Radar on December 07, 2010, 08:29:03 AM
However, she went too far. She generalized and stereotyped beyond belief. She felt her experience should be read by everybody (per her thread title) and that everybody should question their transness.

Do you mean that she wanted everyone, even people who had already gone past the questioning stage, to question their transness? Because that's the impression I was getting...

Quote from: Radar on December 07, 2010, 08:29:03 AMShe also spread this mindset into every thread she commented in- even when it was off topic. I can understand helping those who aren't sure, but stop being patronizing to those who are sure. It got to the point of obsession.

I made the mistake of reading a couple of her blog entries. All this stuff about how dogmatic the people are on Susan's...we can't accept a dissenting view or any challenges to our obsessive transsexual agenda, stuff like that. I thought that was funny and exasperating. She was literally coming here and telling people that they should accept their bodies as they are; then, when people called her on it, she denied it and pretended that she wasn't telling people what to do or how to feel. And, of course, she reshaped the whole experience for her blog. Delusion? Dishonesty? A little of both?

This sort of over-the-top approach really makes me wonder about her motives and her true self. It was as if she wasn't really all that sure about herself and she needed the reassurance of "converting" other would-be trans people over to her way of thinking (otherwise, perhaps, she would continue to feel unsure about her own decisions?).

I'm still not sure I understand this topic. Maybe because it's late and I am so tired. I guess my main problem is that I am trans at all. I don't worry that I'm not trans enough; any trans is too much. But I suspect that this topic relates more to people who have a trans gender identity, and I really don't. Perhaps it would help if I did, because "male" is problematic; I still have a tendency to essentialize sex/gender, at least with regard to myself, so "male" isn't fully consistent with the body I have right now.

The body I am likely to have for a long time to come.

No.

In fact, I had hoped I wasn't even trans at all. That my therapist(s) would tell me otherwise and that there was some other way to alleviate the anxiety, dysphoria, and depression I'd felt.  Seriously, who would want to go through all of this?!

In fact, my first therapist told me to go back into the closet and stay there, because I would lose my job and my friends and my family and my kids and life would be horrible.  I still need to go back and inform her otherwise!  LOL


Jay

I voted yes.  I made it to my sixties before I transitioned.  I probably could have lived the rest of my life without transitioning.  That made me question whether I was "trans enough".  (I figured I was 'sort of' trans.)

But now that I've transitioned and know the pure joy of living as me, I have no doubt that I was plenty trans.  It's amazing how good we can be at repression and denial just to cope with what we think can't be changed.

One of my favorite quotes: "God save us from what we can get used to." - Walter P. Chrysler

- Kate :)

Quote from: Arch on December 08, 2010, 04:05:25 AMDo you mean that she wanted everyone, even people who had already gone past the questioning stage, to question their transness? Because that's the impression I was getting...

That's the impression I got from her too.

Quote from: Arch on December 08, 2010, 04:05:25 AMThis sort of over-the-top approach really makes me wonder about her motives and her true self. It was as if she wasn't really all that sure about herself and she needed the reassurance of "converting" other would-be trans people over to her way of thinking (otherwise, perhaps, she would continue to feel unsure about her own decisions?).

Exactly. Thank you for phrasing it better than I did.

Nope! I was the poster child for "trans" in the 1960's - classic Type VI in every way from birth onward and textbook outcome.

I  wish it hadn't been that way but that's the way it was....

Quote from: Kieri on December 06, 2010, 10:29:48 PM
Sometimes I wonder.  I've never been very masculine, but I don't think I've been very feminine either.  Family have noticed my depression in the past, but never knew why, and my parents don't believe me when I tell them the reason.  I don't really have an aversion to being male socially in the nerdy/software sphere, but I feel like I'm from a completely different species with males outside of it.  I do feel much more at home in groups of girls, but still, the social aspects alone don't justify transition to me.

I guess what's really pushing me is that I'm *terrified* of growing old as a man... or even of growing any more physically masculine than I already am.  The thought of it makes me sick to my stomach.  Even if I don't fit in completely as a woman socially, I can't bear wasting my life in a male shell.  I know that transition is what I need now, but in the past I've definitely feared that I wasn't "trans enough."

Your experience strongly resembles my own ... separated by a generation.  At first, I worried that I wasn't "trans enough" by conventional definitions and tried to conform to them.  One fine day I realized that trasness is a spectrum, we are all unique anyway and that there really is no standard of measure of transness. 

That was a very liberating day.  Never worried about it for another moment since then. 

I voted yes because i'm almost 39 and lived with this most of my life yet also managed to get on with my life and push the trans issue to the back of my mind. Well, sometimes i've managed to do that. Other times its been like a monster yelling and roaring to be let out of the cage i put it in. Now i'm doing something about it i worry that i'm not really trans- maybe i'm just a masculine woman who has talked herself into thinking shes trans. Then someone calls me sir and the feeling of rightness convinces me again that i'm doing the right thing

I got over it.  ;)

I've had my moments.  Mostly when I was in my 20's.  I was always afraid I was stuck in some limbo.   Much like Alyssa, I got over it. :)

You shouldn't put any value in what other people define as Male, Female, Trans, etc.   What's important is how you feel about yourself and what you need to do to be happy with yourself.

That's what I've found, at least.

That seems mostly external, focusing on what other people think.  And it doesn't matter, you're exactly as trans as you are, no more, no less.  It's all you can ever be.

The only time you should really worry about 'not enough' is when you're boss doesn't think you're working hard enough, as that can have an immediate and as well as a long-range negative impact on your life.

I've worried I'm not masculine enough to be a trans man. It took me some time to realize that I could be a girly man and still be a man.

Quote from: Jeh on December 10, 2010, 07:32:21 PM
I've worried I'm not masculine enough to be a trans man. It took me some time to realize that I could be a girly man and still be a man.

EXACTLY RIGHT, BRO!  Personally, I think some girly men are pretty amazing:

Adam Lambert ... hot, hot!

Adam Lambert-American Idol Top 4 Whole Lotta love(HD) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tE4Nl1-Fq5Y#ws)
David Bowie ... hot, hot!

DAVID BOWIE - REBEL REBEL (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W4SLXaF-lIc#)
George Michael ... hot, hot!

George Michael - Freedom! '90 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=diYAc7gB-0A#)

Estrogen IS making me like THIS kind of guy.  This gal LOVES girly men, so ROCK ON, bro!  You'll be awesome!    ;)

Postscript:

Short clip of the original masters here, dude.  Check out lead singer, Robert Plant:

Whole Lotta Love - Led Zeppelin (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PU-PoUwECjI#)

David Bowie=Always Awesome

I've never seen George Michael as a girly man, but I know him just from the 80's. I don't know what he looks like now.

not fitting in with the male stereotypes everyone i surround myself with believes in, makes me feel like i'm not "trans enough". because sometimes i like my girlfriend holding me, sometimes i cry watching movies, sometimes i feel vulnerable, sometimes i feel weak...and it makes me question if i'm not just "trans enough" but "MAN enough" to go thru everything i'd have to go thru to finally feel...normal.
Sometimes i feel just gender queer....or genderLESS.
not having bottom dysphoria also makes me think i'm not "trans enough". I dont think about what i have below the waist....it doesnt bother me. i think i'd live a normal happy life without changing my birth given genitalia. but i DONT think i could go on forever with the chest i was born with
i'm always thinking : what makes a man?

Quote from: Radar on December 10, 2010, 08:00:40 PM
David Bowie=Always Awesome

I've never seen George Michael as a girly man, but I know him just from the 80's. I don't know what he looks like now.

Actually, you're basically right about George Michael.  It does take a bit of imagination to see him that way.  Both he and Adam Lambert are openly gay, but that does not make them girly men.  Either way, his song kicks!    ;)

Quote from: aidengabriel on December 10, 2010, 08:14:10 PM
...and it makes me question if i'm not just "trans enough" but "MAN enough" to go thru everything i'd have to go thru to finally feel...normal.
Sometimes i feel just gender queer....or genderLESS.

This, for me.  I wonder sometimes if I might be FTA instead of FTM.

You may be FTA but maybe not.  I thought I was genderqueer or MTA, but once I started living as a woman I realized that I am one despite the anatomy I was born with.  I have some masculine (butch) aspects, but many women do. 

For some reason, there are lots of non-trans straight men around here who are not traditionally masculine.  (They are sensitive and can show emotion, etc.)  I wonder whether being either male or female and man or woman is only loosely related to being masculine or feminine.  I am a slightly masculine woman who was born male.  No wonder this is confusing. :P

- Kate

I voted yes as well.

I have had moments of doubt.
I am afraid of needles, and I'm in enough pain from day to day to be extremely hesitant to seek out more pain in form of surgery.
I also have other problems such as dysthymia (long-term depression problem) and near-crippling social anxiety (which has only gotten worse with age).

I didn't want bottom surgery. I'm still hesitant to pursue that part to be honest.
I fear the pain and recovery.
I am afraid of the sharp metal objects.
But I'm also very afraid of any loss to sexual function.
I like sex. I Really like sex... I RRREEEAAALLLYYY... like sex.
If the orgasms would suffer or disappear, then I am afraid I might regret it.
The important parts have been referred to in masculine terms too, for the longest time, and with T it's gotten enough growth to make me feel more secure with the parts I have.
And all this means I don't feel the need for it.

And that means I've wondered why I can't just live with the rest of the body.
Why do I feel a need to fix my chest?
Why do I feel a need to have the internal bits removed?
Why do I feel a need to change my name?
Why do I feel a need to take testosterone?
Why do I feel a need to see a guy in the mirror and to be seen as a guy by my closest?
Why do I feel a need for this, and not bottom surgery?

And then there's the fact that I'm married to another man.
It would be simpler to be a woman in a straight relationship, even if you're not straight, than it is to be a trans-man in a gay relationship.
I also play many of the traditionally viewed as feminine in my relationship.
I'm the cook, the cleaner, the caretaker, etc. and I also take that (traditionally viewed as such) role in bed.
Why can't I just be her?
Yes, I do a lot of bloke stuff too and play some of the traditionally viewed as masculine roles (maintenance guy, BBQ operator, etc).
Why can't I just be a masculine woman and be happy that way?

I like my hair long. I like my long legs. I like the way my back curves. I like being a bit feminine in appearance. I like doing certain feminine things. I like being me.

I don't know, maybe it's less about being trans enough, and more about being man enough to be allowed somehow.
A sad side-effect of the simple truth that what it is to be a man is kinda rigidly defined in a lot of media in most of the western world today.

I'm voting No, being a textbook example going from tomboy to really REALLY butch lesbian and only rarely tried to be a women, and fail at it. Hating it all and having body issues since I can remember. Not fitting with any women, not identyfieing with them at all. They end up hating me if they can't change me, and that has happened a few times cuz I don't understand them.

However I'm not the stereotype guy either, I draw,write and game, I'm not really much into sports and I don't have to many friends. I'm not loud or really active, more like a sensitive chill dude.

I have had doubts but those where more of idle hopes of NOT being trans, that I was just not a girly girl, but elas, this female looking warp is killing me. I don't care for bottom surgery but all the rest ... the sooner the better.

I used to.  I thought I had to be a little princess to be properly trans.  I'd  hear the textbook cases that said, "I wanted to play with dolls in stead of trucks.  I never liked sports and abhorred the changes wrought by puberty."

I liked sports, played with remote control cars.  Heck I didn't think I was different from other boys, I thought they were like me, secretly hating being male.  They didn't talk about it and so neither did I.  So when the guys started growing facial hair and getting deep voices, I felt the competitive urge to keep up.  Of course it wasn't til later I realized men actually liked being men.

I've thought about it some more and I know I'm trans.  But I do wonder if I'm man enough.  I don't feel like a woman, but don't feel like a man either.  I can feel feminine or masculine, but it's not quite the same thing.  I hate having a female body though and I love getting called sir.  If it was more socially acceptable for guys to show an effeminate side, I probably wouldn't question as much.  I mean, I know women way more masculine than I am, but they're happy being women.  I'm not happy with it.  Gender-wise, I just feel stuck in the middle.  Body-wise, I'd love an androgynous male body (and not the mountain-man body I'd probably end up with!)

Well it is a bunch of baloney when some try to pigeonhole you as better or more credible transgender person, that is elitism and very wrong, full stop.  Transgender enough?  Ughhh!

I have wondered in the past if I was transgender but I did get clarity on that.  Yes, I went to a gender therapist to help me think out some things.   I am transgender. 

I am unique.  I am me.  I am a woman. 


Chrissy

Before I came out I asked myself what I was. I didn't know because I had no word for it.

I just knew that since I was a kid in first grade I dreamt every night of getting a female body.

I never questioned if I was trans or not once I understood what it was and knew there was a process. I was only scared of the social consequences. Then I concluded what consequences? I lose a job my car and my town house. Big whoop. I end up back at my parents home or pop a bottle of sleeping pills and down a bottle of wine and hope not to wake up. There wasn't much to stop me so what was there to lose.

So I got my appointment with my therapist set and after a brief hesitation at the door proceeded at light speed.

Being transgender is like being pregnant. You can't be just a little bit pregnant. Either you are, or you aren't. What you decide to do with that knowledge is completely up to you.

Love always -- Jess

Quote from: Jessica_Rose on January 11, 2025, 07:23:38 PMBeing transgender is like being pregnant. You can't be just a little bit pregnant. Either you are, or you aren't. What you decide to do with that knowledge is completely up to you.

Love always -- Jess

That is true.  Plus you cannot make a baby in one month by making nine women pregnant.

Sometimes people get hung up on labels.  But there are other issues too. 

No but I  been told many times  I'm not  trans enough! I don't wear dresses  skirts makeup won't  colour  my hair and like punk rock  and  metal, muscle  cars, Triumphs  and Harley Davidsons and dress like a birdwatcher.  

Hi Everyone

Natalie you said:

Quote from: NatalieRene on January 11, 2025, 07:17:52 PMSo I got my appointment with my therapist set and after a brief hesitation at the door proceeded at light speed.

ROTFLMAO.  Just recently I have mentioned in some of my posts that I was like a "speeding bullet train".

In response to the question, 'Have you ever feared that you weren't "trans enough"?'  No, I have not and here is why.  I'm not transgender and never will be.

I'm not transgender because it is a label and not a medical term .  Even so called experts disagree on the use and meaning of the word 'transgender'.  I understand that terms like gender incongruence and gender dysphoria are medical classifications.  Whether or not they apply to me is irrelevant.

While I respect those who find meaning in the transgender label, it is not one I have ever embraced.  I have always been female and that is simply who I am.

Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator
@NatalieRene

No, I haven't experienced this, but I'm familiar with the term and have heard others mention it, say they've been told about it, or say that it doesn't apply to them. I always find myself somewhere on the gender spectrum. Interesting poll, so far, it's 49% yes.

My question was somewhat different...

It was "wanting" vs "being" female.

The difference would be exemplified by  child saying they ARE female with total conviction (despite physicality) vs knowing they aren't and wanting to be female.

I saw it as the difference between something more "basic" than being attracted to or being more emotionally compatible with the societal role assigned to females, some (much?) of which is not innate to being female. It was about the physical as well one's relationship with the world.

As a child I definitely knew I was not female, but I wanted to be, though I could not tell you why and it was not something that was front and center all the time.

My physicality from relatively early on, was so far from females norms. Behaviorally while not "macho", I was not obviously naturally feminine ... all that made worry about if I was making mistake despite what I wanted.

- Karen

Quote from: Yakshini on December 07, 2010, 01:25:36 AMI have indeed feared that I wasn't "trans enough" to be accepted as such by the trans community, as I have seen lots of people being accused if it. I've had other trans guys subtly accuse me of being a "poseur" because I do not fit the stereotype of what a man/transman should be. I stopped hanging around that forum. Thinking that because I was so unlike most other transguys made me seriously question if I was trans at all.
Then I realized, "Eff what they say. I might not fit the model, but at least I'm sure of it."

We do not have to fit any model for any label.  I suppose to get HRT or surgeries we may need to meet specified criteria; but, other than that we do not need to fit some group's or person's image of what we should be, or for them to judge that we have not progressed as far as we should have, or otherwise for them to devalue us.

Try to free your mind of having to fit labels.

Do I consider myself to be transgender?  Yes.  But not to fit a specific label to comfort me or to please someone else. 

I wish I was more CIS but that is binary, you are or you are not.  So that example should prove you cannot be "more transgender."  You are or you are not.

Your transgender transition journey will vary somehow from those of others.  But that is okay.  Who is keeping score?

Enjoy your journey.

Chrissy

Quote from: big kim on January 12, 2025, 05:26:30 AMNo but I  been told many times  I'm not  trans enough! I don't wear dresses  skirts makeup won't  colour  my hair and like punk rock  and  metal, muscle  cars, Triumphs  and Harley Davidsons and dress like a birdwatcher. 

I don't wear dresses and skirts every day.

Only you know you. Anyone that says you cannot be trans because your not trans enough clearly has no clue what they are talking about.

Quote from: NatalieRene on January 12, 2025, 11:42:02 AMI don't wear dresses and skirts every day.

Only you know you. Anyone that says you cannot be trans because your not trans enough clearly has no clue what they are talking about.

Kim,

I do not wear a skirt, skort, or dress each day either.

Plus I have not been blessed with a curvy figure or look as pretty as a number of other women here.  I am just average.  That is okay though. 

Enjoy your womanhood, enjoy your life, make each day a good one.

Chrissy

Why have any label at all, i have never understood this concept, I just get on with my life and blend in as best i can

I experienced that quite a lot when I was a teen, but eventually I became more confident in myself and I'm no longer worried about people thinking I'm a "fake trans". I'm honestly a lot more worried about other things than that.

Have definitely struggled with the fact of it over the years - but the reality is I am VERY Trans.

Not really.

I haven't made "being trans" a goal in my life, I try to become myself.  I am what I am, and in the present social & political environment, that is called "trans."  (And a lot of other things that you probably aren't allowed to say on this site....)  I have gotten where and who I am by trying out things to make me more comfortable and more myself and to make things work better.

There are plenty of people who will tell me I'm "doing it wrong", and there have been my whole life, but I have never been able to be what they say I have to be, so I don't argue with them, I just shrug my shoulders and walk away.  Or I wait for them to get bored and frustrated and stomp off.