Has anybody ever gotten that line from a family member? I got that from my mom. She said there were no signs.
I can think back and think of so many red flags that I was transgender. Apparently, there's this idea that I had to be a masculine, tomboy little girl or scream "I want a penis!" as a child in order to legitimately be transgender.
When I was 2, my mom says that I would scream and cry if my parents put me in dresses.
When I was around 10-11, I cried and screamed at my mom because she said I have cleavage and I screamed that I hated it and wished it would disappear.
When I was 11-12, I begged God to turn me into a boy overnight, and would be extremely disappointed when I woke up a girl. Seriously. I would pray at night for that (or superpowers like shapeshifting so that I could change my body into a boy's) and then the first thing I would do is reach down and check my underwear. Sometimes it ruined my day because I was so upset that it didn't happen.
Oh, and when I was in daycare, my teacher read us this book, I don't remember what it was called, but it was about this boy who fell out of his bed one morning, accidentally licked his elbow, and that turned him into a girl. So, by my own logic, I thought: "Hey, if I licked my own elbow, I'll turn into a boy!" Too bad I could never actually manage to lick my elbow.
Just because I wasn't vocal about my desire to be a boy, and I whispered so that nobody would hear me when I prayed, trying to make a deal with God that I would do anything he wanted as long as he turned me into a boy, doesn't mean I'm not transgender and that there were no signs. Of course there were signs, she just never saw them because I realized quickly that girls wanting to be boys and boys wanting to be girls isn't normal.
When I was around 13-14, I got so frustrated with my own body that I forced myself to learn to pee standing up.
Hell, I remember I once sat on the jungle gym at daycare and watched the boys play soccer, trying to figure out why I wanted to be them, and what was so different about me. All I knew back then was that I wanted to be them.
According to my friends, there were signs. Then again, I always acted more like myself around them. I literally tell my friends everything I'm thinking because I trust them.
So I mean, those things sound like signs to me. My mom was just never around to see them.
Just because I was a girly child doesn't mean my transsexualism is invalid, right? I like girly things. That doesn't make my identity invalid. I hung out with almost all girls until I got into elementary school. That must mean I'm not transgender. I like to have female friends, that must mean I'm not transgender. I know cisguys who like to be friends with females. Does that make them transgender?
Just had to rant a bit there.
They just like to pretend the signs weren't there. ;) It's total denial. Here was a convo between my parents and my therapist when they first met...
Therapist: So...how did your child feel about wearing the clothes of the same sex?
Parents: ...er, well, she really hated it.
Therapist: Ok... did your child ever insist that she would not grow breasts or menstruate?
Parents: ...yes
Therapist: Did she seem comfortable entering womanhood during puberty?
Parents...no
Then my mother burst out "BUT SHE LOVED SAILOR MOON!" :laugh:
My mom said the EXACT same thing. She watched a Trans documentary and said "those people are trans, but you arn't"
My therapist said its flat out denial and that she may always be in denial. But at the end of the day they are the ones who look silly calling us "she" (my mom calls me princess and sis) in a room full of people who only know me as male.
I love my mom to death... so I really hope that one of these days she will realize that even if I "played with Barbie's" that doesn't have anything to do with my gender identity
Quote from: jqual on March 04, 2011, 06:42:20 PM
My mom said the EXACT same thing. She watched a Trans documentary and said "those people are trans, but you arn't"
Lol. My mom blames Degrassi for "getting the idea in my head" that I'm transgender. :I A freaking TV show. I knew about transgender people before I watched that show and I knew I felt like a boy before I watched that show.
Anyway, I get that too. My mom is all, "Oh, there are trans people out there, but you're not."
I'm fairly sure that my parents would also blame it on the telly
and I'm afraid they might argue that it's just a phase because there weren't any signs
although I've only worn male clothes when I've had the choice (started buying my own clothes) and I've always said I hated having breasts. The rest I've always kept sorta hidden, as I would not walk up to my mum and tell her how much I need to have a penis :P
but yeah, that's one of the things that's holding me back from coming out
Yup...I've heard that from my parents a number of times.
Quote from: Alex201 on March 04, 2011, 07:39:29 PM
Yup...I've heard that from my parents a number of times.
I know. I like to keep up with your posts.
Doesn't it suck?
I'm in my 30s.
My parents also think there are trans people, but I'm not one of them.
Yes, there were signs. And, yes, there are counter-signs too. None of it really proves anything.
The only *sign* that matters is how you feel and identify, something we go out of our way to hide from others and conceal from our families, even if we think they already know.
The denial stage is just one step in the process. Some parents move beyond that quickly, some never leave it. All you can do is hope for the best.
Quote from: Devyn on March 04, 2011, 07:43:54 PM
I know. I like to keep up with your posts.
Doesn't it suck?
yes...it does suck. I've told my parents a thousand times about the time I was six years old and asked if God would turn me into a boy. But they just brush it off saying that was only a breif period. But hey, a sign is a sign, right?
Yeah, my parents said the same thing. I was actually shocked when they said that. I recounted to them all the signs in the past that I remembered, all the times I knew something was wrong about my gender. And my mom said I was remembering it wrong. She said I was convincing myself those things were true when they weren't. That really pissed me off. So now she's inside my head?
Quote from: crazyandro on March 04, 2011, 08:34:36 PM
Yeah, my parents said the same thing. I was actually shocked when they said that. I recounted to them all the signs in the past that I remembered, all the times I knew something was wrong about my gender. And my mom said I was remembering it wrong. She said I was convincing myself those things were true when they weren't. That really pissed me off. So now she's inside my head?
Exactly. It's like, why in the hell would I make this up?
Try hearing "Are you sure this has nothing to do with your mom passing away?".
I can understand going through an identity crisis when you watch a deeply loved one slowly suffer and die, but I'm not going crazy and "switching teams" because my mother passed away. -.- I've wanted to come out several times, including before she was diagnosed with cancer :/
I dunno. People who have known you the best and longest have the hardest time watching you change so much and try to blame it on anything they possibly can, other than you actually being transgendered.
QuoteTry hearing "Are you sure this has nothing to do with your mom passing away?"
Aw, man, I'm sorry. *hug*
My ex and I both heard this some. What was entertaining was how different our parents' opinions were, and how his parents thought I showed totally obvious signs and vice versa.
His mom, to him: No, you seemed like a girl, you wore dresses, you just weren't a typical guy like (me) when you were younger, he acted trans and it was clear how he felt.
My mom, to me: You just aren't a typical case of being trans! I know you were masculine, but you didn't act male! Now, I would understand if you had done something like run around without a shirt when you were growing up, like (he) did, but you didn't. You wanted pink Minnie mouse ears at Disneyworld.
They needed to talk to each other more. ::)
Quote from: Nikolai_S on March 04, 2011, 10:50:03 PM
You wanted pink Minnie mouse ears at Disneyworld.
If you get pink Minnie Mouse ears and glue them to an army helmet, you would have an androgynous hat!
Quote from: Ryan D on March 04, 2011, 09:31:00 PM
Try hearing "Are you sure this has nothing to do with your mom passing away?".
I get "Are you sure this has nothing to do with your dad going to jail?" I don't see why it would, but my mother assumes anything that happens in my life that she doesn't like has to do with that.
"The internet made you this way" is my mom's go to line.
My cousin has serious autism since he was super little. Everyone in the family knew it, totally obvious, but it wasn't until he was 18 and his Mom watched a special that his Mom figured it out.
Some parents are weird about their perception of their kids.
My mom was cool when I came out but she said like "I never saw it, you didn't play with dolls."
"Uh Mom..not that you need to play with dolls to be trans but I collected My Little Ponies...and carried around a cabbage patch until 4th grade."
"Yeah, but you also played with Star Wars figures."
"Mom...those are dolls."
Quote from: japple on March 05, 2011, 12:46:50 AM
"Uh Mom..not that you need to play with dolls to be trans but I collected My Little Ponies...and carried around a cabbage patch until 4th grade."
My sister liked those things. I never got much into dolls. But my sis did like to watch
Rainbow Brite, and sometimes I would watch it with her.
My friend's mother said this to him not long ago. He has described quite a few childhood incidents to me, including an argument they had that ended with her screaming, "You're not a boy!" at him.
His mother was exposed to plenty of signals but didn't want to see them.
I'm pretty sure that my parents would say that I'm mentally ill, completely delusional, if they knew about me. My mother would probably say that I'm violating the laws of nature and her own particular deity. I wonder if she would insist that I didn't exhibit any signs of transness?
My mother is like that. I'm in the process of coming out to everyone, but I actually came out to my mom about 3 years back. She's lesbian and rather open with me so I wasn't TOO terribly nervous. I came out and said it. She looked at me, said, "Okay, yeah, sure you are" and walked away. When I came out to her again a few months ago, she acted as though she was hearing it for the first time (but listened the second time around thankfully). The denial is strong with this one, yes.
I'm worried my dad is going to be the same way, but I've got a bit of arsenal. When I was in the 7th grade my father and I had a month long battle on whether or not he would let me try out for the boys football team. He ended up not letting me because football "is a boys sport." I wouldn't talk to him for weeks. It literally tore apart our household. I can even remember a time where he made fun of me for "crossdressing" and asked me if I wanted to be a boy (mockingly, which at the time i vehemently denied, cause even at 12 I knew it wasn't "normal"). My worst fear is that my dad will go so heavily into denial that he won't see any of this no matter how I point it out.
But que sera, sera. That's a little ways off, and I've got plenty of support otherwise. I'm thankful to be one of the lucky ones, as I've got a great support system.
Good luck to all of you with parents/siblings/friends/anyone in denial. It's a tough place to be in and at times can be very disheartening. Just remember that at the end of the day, the only person who's opinion matters is your own. Good luck on all of your journeys.
also, oops long post. woah sorry for the wall-o-txt.
Quote from: jessman3 on March 05, 2011, 03:03:20 AM
but I actually came out to my mom about 3 years back. She's lesbian and rather open with me so I wasn't TOO terribly nervous. I came out and said it. She looked at me, said, "Okay, yeah, sure you are" and walked away. When I came out to her again a few months ago, she acted as though she was hearing it for the first time (but listened the second time around thankfully)
Dude that happened to me too! Seriously! I came out to my mom like 3 years ago and she just accepted it and was like "whatever you want to do," but every time I tell her or talk to her about it she acts like its breaking news. It's like every year we have a big long conversation about it and every year she just becomes more and more unsupportive and now she is like "its impossible, there were no signs."
She knows what trans is, totally understands it (had a huge talk with my wife about 3 years ago and my wife explained EVERYTHING) she just really doesn't think I am.
....maybe one day.
Being almost expelled from elemental school for stick to go to the boy's bathroon evein with physical impediment of the teachers, having girlfriends when 4, 5 old, having fake GAY role-weddings at 8, going around with a sock in the undies when 10, 12 old, roleplaying always as "the superhero/villain who's going to save/kill the princessss" and not the princess itself, getting chronic depression when The Red Death appeared, start to SI when receiving the first brassiere...getting all the male nicknames as possible and keep using them instead of the birth name.... all those things weren't a sign, right? It's the internet!! THE INTERNET MADE US TRANSSSSS!!! BLAME THE INTERNET GUYYYYSSS!!!
/irony
Sign Sign everywhere a sign
Blocking out the scenery breaking my mind
Do this, don't do that, can't you read the sign
(Five Man Electrical Band)
I've heard it was obvious and I've heard it isn't possible. The above chorus always comes to mind.
Quote from: japple on March 05, 2011, 12:46:50 AM"Yeah, but you also played with Star Wars figures."
"Mom...those are dolls."
(gasp) nonono - if a boy's playing with them they're "action figures!" ;)
When I was in the top year at school I was looking after a class of 11-year-olds for morning registration. I'd started turning into a hippy at 17 (basically because it meant I could grow my hair long and wear bright colours - oh, and did I mention the purple beard?) and one of my kidboys in the class said to me "why are you wearing a girl's shirt?" - it was a lilac stripey collarless boho number - so I just grinned at him and said "if I'm wearing it, it must be a boy's shirt!"
Apparently I was a perfectly normal boy growing up...so the obsession with ballet, screaming blue murder if I had to get my hair cut (seriously, I had to be dragged in...by my feet as I desperately clung to the pavement outside), a huge obsession with the female reproductive system at the age of 4, thinking that when I'd get older they'd drop off as part of normal development, the crossdressing that I kept oh so quiet and spending every morning from about the age of 13 wondering why I was still a boy is normal?
Oh but i forget, I liked dinosaurs and planes...must mean I'm a boy then. ::)
I get this from my mom. She's currently reading "True Selves" so I asked her if she had any questions for me. She said there were no signs, so I pointed out a few and then she said "Well, I see signs in middle school and high school, but I don't see it any younger than that." *facepalm*
I'm in this boat. However, I don't argue this point with her very much because I don't believe that the toys you play with define your gender identity.
But I have had conversations like:
Mom: "Well, yeah, you complained about wearing dresses. but only because they got in the way of your playing, or you were embarrassed because you were the only person at the birthday party wearing one."
Me: "Well, yeah, exactly. Look at the twins [my younger brothers who are quite similar to me], I bet if you raised them in dresses they would wear them, they'd just be annoyed by them."
Mom: "Are you trying to say the twins are GID?! [She won't say trans, she says GID because she clings to the "disorder" title]
Me: "NO! That's not my point at all!"
or
Mom: "Well sure you didn't play with Barbies or anything, we let you play with the toys you wanted, within reason, but that's because we wanted you to be free to express yourself! It doesn't mean you're a boy!"
Me: "By "within reason" do you mean no boy's toys? Because I distinctly remember not being allowed Star Wars toys because they were "for boys".
Mom: "Well, you aren't a boy!"
What happened to 'being free to express myself', hey? I guess I can only express myself if I'm a girl?
I was thinking about this topic earlier and I have to say I think that parents cling to the times when you were fitting the stereotype of your birth assigned sex. Denial hardcore.
When I first came out to my mom, she said she cried for a long time, but "not for the reason I'd think." She never flat out told me what she cried about, and in fact, the next time she and I have a one-on-one conversation about my trans-ness, I'll bring it up. But since then, I've thought it was about how she thought she was a bad mom because she never saw the signs. Most parents are so sure that they know their child better than anyone, and they're so set in this definition of their kid that the idea of their child NOT being who they thought they were is shocking and hurtful. It makes them feel like don't know their own kid. So, while it really sucks, I understand why some parents deny their child being trans. I was a lucky one, my parents don't deny it, they "want me to be me".
My mom said that in the beginning, too.. Even though I distinctly remember at age 3 telling her that I wanted to really be a boy. I was obsessed with dirtbikes and soccer and Pokemon and Green Day as a kid. I was way beyond tomboy. :(
Today though i was surprised by my mom telling me that she did not believe I was trans; she told me that she knew I was only 'doing it for the attention', and that when we go to my first endocrinology appointment on the 31st, I was going to 'get straightened out real fast' by 'someone who actually knew what they were talking about', and has apparently seen 'a lot of ungrateful brats like [me]'.
I know there are lot of you guys have gone through way worse with their parents, but for the past 4 years that I've been living as a pre-everything FtM, she always told me that she completely accepted me for who I was, and that she was looking forward to getting to know the real me.
I guess she just told me that stuff to shut me up all these years...it was a bit of a slap in the face.
Quote from: r e m on March 06, 2011, 07:50:45 PMit was a bit of a slap in the face...
Yikes. Sounds like "a bit" of an understatement.
Yeah, I was told this. There were signs, but ones that were only evident to me. I am a very private person, and I have been since I was in kindergarten, so even though I felt that there was some nameless thing wrong with me, I never said anything about it. It always works out to my disadvantage; people don't have any "proof" because it wasn't evident to them that I was trans from a young age, and I still have no ability to talk about my feelings with people. :-\
My parents say there were signs but from what I remember there weren't many.
Either way, doesn't invalidate how I feel now. Transition is a blessing for me.
QuoteI am a very private person, and I have been since I was in kindergarten, so even though I felt that there was some nameless thing wrong with me, I never said anything about it. It always works out to my disadvantage; people don't have any "proof" because it wasn't evident to them that I was trans from a young age, and I still have no ability to talk about my feelings with people.
Mm, yes. Things like this make me really devalue my introversion. People get angry because of my lack of expression, my lack of interest...claim they had no idea X or Y was going on. Well how about this, you have no effing right to know until I am ready to tell you you rat bastards! >:(
/vent :angel:
i find myself torn on this.
as a little kid, i was pretty ->-bleeped-<-ing girly. i was pushed into pink, dresses, skirts. had long hair, everything that the perfect little girl
hitting puberty. i was miserable. note, this started around 8/9. ditched the dresses in favor of jeans and unisex tshirts
freshman yr of highschool (2 yrs ago, im a junior now) i was... trying to be that tomboy who can still be a 'girl'.
last year i started making the steps in coming out.
*shrug* doesn't matter what signs there or not there. we all got different baggage different things that make us reperess our personality.
I remember when I was in 8th grade going to the course night at the high school to pick out classes for the next year and my dad trying to get the JROTC instructors to tell me I'd have to wear a skirt if I joined. Ha on him-- they said I would be issued a skirt and pants and would be able to choose which to wear. I returned the skirt to them four years later with the tags still on it. I was also psyched my third year when I hit a little growth spurt and my body type meant I couldn't fit into any of their female uniforms (I wasn't fat like I am now, just very broad shouldered), so they gave me men's shoes (I also have big feet), shirts and a jacket. I tried to convince them I needed men's pants in order to keep my gig line straight, but they didn't bite. My gigline was off for the last two years...
I also remember everyone's reactions when I wore a dress to prom (I didn't want to go to prom at all but my mother practically forced me. I also didn't really want to wear a dress, but I didn't want everyone to think I was a butch dyke-- I was already the only girl in the entire school who wore pants to 8th grade graduation). Even my teachers were like "*Female Name*! You look like a girl!".
QuoteEven my teachers were like "*Female Name*! You look like a girl!".
Hehe. even though I had the long hair and relatively conservative femininity going on, I got a similar reaction when I wore a women's business suit and a wig to class. this one guy looked at me and said "...you look really hot, like, a girl." Needless to say I was sufficiently mortified, but it's funny how people can kinda tell something is off when you hardcore perform a gender that you're not.
one reason I love my parents. I came out.... they said "finally!"
Mischief managed!
i have the same problems. growing up, my best friend was also ftm. he used to get yelled at for using the girls bathroom at age 7 (how many of us would die for that now). black grey and green clothes only. pants, dinosaurs, you name it. used to physically beat people for using female pronouns or his then-legal name.
i guess since my parents always saw this they have this idea that THAT is what being trans really. i grew up as much of a princess as any little girl could ever hope. i hate white ruffled sheets and a canopy bed and dolls (i was never the mom though, always the big sibling). i was a ballet dancer and i went to an all-girls school. i still am very good at dressing and doing hair and make-up. i still enjoy most of these things, and in a sick way, feel that it might have been a blessing to grow up as a female because of the teasing i would have gotten as a little boy. (though i hate the stereotype, i am not gay, if that suppressed any questions). i just grew up in a family that was very "you-are-a-girl-and-this-is-what-you-do". i just realized that it was a lot easier to go along and wear what they wanted me to than to kick and scream. i was afraid!
it's hard to convince people like your parents who never saw you complain. they might not have known that all your birthday wishes were to turn into a boy or that you prayed for it every night, or that you bound before you even had breasts or peed through a toilet tissue roll at age 5 or played "dad" when everyone was doing house at kindergarten. that doesn't make you any less of who you are. it's very difficult to explain and some of the very trans-supportive websites don't help us either. they offer many "clues" to a child being transgender as liking contact sports vs dolls, or pink vs green.. what a damaging stereotype
Quote from: GnomeKid on March 09, 2011, 12:40:03 PM
one reason I love my parents. I came out.... they said "finally!"
Hah! That's great XD My sister said something similar lol.
I haven't come out to my parents yet, but for a while I was really afraid they would say that. I have a really terrible memory, like REALLY terrible XD The few memories I have of childhood were immense amounts of confusion about my gender, but I never expressed it directly so far as I can remember. So I don't have 'examples' to give them should they say the same, except for always playing with boys and boy toys and such.
But the fact of the matter is comparing to 'standards' and to other people will never be 100% clear cut and telling, everyone is different XD
Still, when I came out to others and got so many responses like 'OH that makes sense' and 'Oh yea I knew already pretty much' it is really nice to hear, and I know when I came out to a close friend and he didn't believe me, like he would know, it was ridiculously annoying.
And I'm sure explaining to them why comparing you to other people is not going to tell them anything either way, probably won't work. Which is STUPID.
But hopefully they will come around, like others said, denial!
Until then just remember YOU know, and you don't need 'examples' from childhood to tell you how you feel. And that's what's important right?
i had all of the same signs plus:
when i was a toddler i tried to pee standing up and got pee all over my pants and the floor lol!
i always took my shirt off and hated girls swimsuits
i havent worn a dress since i was 3 (my parents didnt wanna fight with me)
luckily i was a late bloomer and have a small chest anyways
and for every single birthday wish i would wish to be a boy.
Quote from: andrewtheman77 on March 28, 2011, 07:30:40 PM
when i was a toddler i tried to pee standing up and got pee all over my pants and the floor lol!
:laugh: I'm glad I'm not the only one.
Quote from: andrewtheman77 on March 28, 2011, 07:30:40 PM
when i was a toddler i tried to pee standing up and got pee all over my pants and the floor lol!
Idk why, but this reminds me of a picture in one of my baby books of me standing
in the toilet.
Quote from: japple on March 05, 2011, 12:46:50 AM"Yeah, but you also played with Star Wars figures."
"Mom...those are dolls."
No they're not! They're action figures. :P
i agree action figures
I've been told the same thing because of my childhood. However they are basing it all on what THEY remember! Of course they will remember the part of me being in a dress, but they won't remember how I'd run outside after and get covered in mud. They will remember how I came home after learning about puberty and claiming to not be able to wait, but they won't remember my obsession with blood, I used to try and give myself nose bleeds. (Admittedly it's just because blood was freaking cool, but when 'it' did happen, I was freaking horrified!) They also remember me playing with dolls, but they don't remember that the dolls used to go over the bed into imaginary volcanos. I may have collected fairy figurines, but I also collected dragons. This can all be stuff both boys and girls do, I don't get why I had to be all typical girl or all typical boy, all the time to be trans. With them now watching my nephew grow up they have this idea that I was too far away from being a boy as a child. I mean seriously, gender doesn't follow any guidelines. I always thought people encouraged you to be unique and yet when you come out as trans you all have to have been the same in childhood and the same now. I mean to them I'm even less because I like guys, though I'm bi which they do not know.
honestly does it even matter what toys we played with as kids? as "girls", we get pushed into dolls and babies and play kitchens and whatever. Give a boy nothing but dolls growing up, he'll play with them too. I think when we're kids we do stuff in the way we learn to do it. My mum told me it was healthy to play sports instead of just sitting around all day with dolls, so I played football with the boys. But whenever she wanted me out of the way she told me to go play with my dolls, and I would do that too.
I dont even know what I'm saying now but our behaviours we learn as we grow up (as boys or girls) so unless a person is acting out of their gender young, I don't think it can be taken as a sign of cisgenderness. Hope that makes sense.
Yeah, I got an Action Man but I just wanted to dress him up in rubber ;D ("frogman" - riiight...). And I had a box of marbles (aggies?) and instead of playing with them, I just used to spend hours looking at the colours...
"Of course not, I was good at pretending!"
Oh, I duno. Maybe getting the crap beat out of me when my mom found me carrying boy's clothes to school and changing before class in 3rd grade, yet continuing to do it.
Maybe having no friends whatsoever in school cause neither boys nor girls accept you.
Maybe cutting the living daylights out of my arms when I was a teen in order to make my body unrecognizable as any gender at all.
Or begging to play football like the other boys.
Or refusing to answer to my birth name.
Or wondering why it didn't hurt like it should have when I hit my crotch on the teeter-totter in kindergarten, not understanding why it didn't drop me to my knees like the other boys.
Or sneaking around and getting haircuts to look more like how I felt inside.
Or telling grandma she could have my...yeah..when she had a mastectomy. I was only 8 at the time.
People can be in denial all they want. But in the end, I know why I wake up half wanting to die everyday because I'm still living a nightmare that is only solvable by thousands of dollars for surgery.
I'm pre-everything (and by that, I mean everything) so this is really something I am more dreading than have experienced. Though I've experienced a bit of it already. It's compounded by me being a very effeminate guy, which in someone who others perceive as a 'girl' it just seems perfectly normal and like I think I'm a girl you know? I can look back to signs in my life, and I see they go back quite a ways, but it's so easy for the signs in my past to be indicative of things having nothing to do with me being a guy. I just understand them differently now, though it sure makes a hell of a lot of sense.
In my experience though with many topics it's just that some people have this picture in their head of how you are, how the world works, and other things outside of themselves that they only think they know everything about. And even if you keep throwing up proof they treat it as 'proof' because obviously, in light of what they 'know,' that proof must be fake or misread or an anomaly that doesn't mean anything.
Quote from: Sorin on March 30, 2011, 07:23:05 AM
I'm pre-everything (and by that, I mean everything) so this is really something I am more dreading than have experienced. Though I've experienced a bit of it already. It's compounded by me being a very effeminate guy, which in someone who others perceive as a 'girl' it just seems perfectly normal and like I think I'm a girl you know? I can look back to signs in my life, and I see they go back quite a ways, but it's so easy for the signs in my past to be indicative of things having nothing to do with me being a guy. I just understand them differently now, though it sure makes a hell of a lot of sense.
In my experience though with many topics it's just that some people have this picture in their head of how you are, how the world works, and other things outside of themselves that they only think they know everything about. And even if you keep throwing up proof they treat it as 'proof' because obviously, in light of what they 'know,' that proof must be fake or misread or an anomaly that doesn't mean anything.
This is exactly me as well. I'm pre-everything. and I'm slowly coming out to people (just friends so far), and they all try to point of things about me that are effeminate and be like, "See, you are a girl." I don't know how to respond to that. It doesn't bother me that I may have things about about me that are effeminate. but it's exactly like you said, some people have this picture in their head of how you are and how the world works, and they can't see it another a way.
Quote from: Devyn on March 04, 2011, 05:58:31 PM
Oh, and when I was in daycare, my teacher read us this book, I don't remember what it was called, but it was about this boy who fell out of his bed one morning, accidentally licked his elbow, and that turned him into a girl. So, by my own logic, I thought: "Hey, if I licked my own elbow, I'll turn into a boy!" Too bad I could never actually manage to lick my elbow.
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I think this is from one of the Wayside School books.
Just thought I'd mention it...
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This is weird. The last few days have been ultra-stressful for me, and I had a really weird and disturbing dream last night, probably because I'm not in a good place at the moment. One key feature of the dream: my father, whom I haven't seen in a quarter century, is right there in front of me, saying, "There were no signs."
It's all your fault, Devyn!
Quote from: Arch on March 30, 2011, 09:24:17 PM
This is weird. The last few days have been ultra-stressful for me, and I had a really weird and disturbing dream last night, probably because I'm not in a good place at the moment. One key feature of the dream: my father, whom I haven't seen in a quarter century, is right there in front of me, saying, "There were no signs."
It's all your fault, Devyn!
I always have weird and disturbing dreams too. Lol
Also, I'm not responsible for any of the dreams you may or may not have. XD
Quote from: Devyn on March 31, 2011, 05:35:20 AMAlso, I'm not responsible for any of the dreams you may or may not have. XD
That's it, pass the buck. How can you not take responsibility for this???!!! :P
P.S. Now I'm filled with dread as I anticipate your next thread...
Quote from: Arch on March 31, 2011, 05:59:44 PM
That's it, pass the buck. How can you not take responsibility for this???!!! :P
P.S. Now I'm filled with dread as I anticipate your next thread...
XD It's not my problem.
I'll have to think of something that gets three pages of replies. Hm. You may regret having said that. Haha.
I've not come out yet, so I'm not sure. They'll probably say that, though. I come from a hugely homophobic and transphobic town, so I'm not sure how to approach my parents with this news.
Quote from: phoenixflorida on March 05, 2011, 02:36:45 PM
Similarly, I have a picture of me receiving a Spice Girls toy at my birthday party and giving the look of disapproval. (http://i1130.photobucket.com/albums/m522/phoenixflorida/IMG_20101013_194307.jpg)
Dude.. You had a Spice Girls toy? That band was poppin'; I have a few dolls of it.
I have yet to come out, but when I was young I was feminine. Aside from my hatred of all things pink I was somewhat girly. I have over a hundred dolls, mostly Barbie, played with girls toys, and I wore dresses quite often (not casually though); I used to wear two-pieces as a toddler, before switching to one pieces.
Currently I'm still quite girly. All my masculinity, it rarely shows aside from the fact all my friends are boys and that I know a lot about gaming and cartoons.
Heck, I remember when I was four or so I had a Barbie birthday party. Barbie's everywhere, and I loved it. My bike was bright pink and purple with streamers, and it was awesome.
I had my fair share of masculine toys, but I've recently gotten into toys and that's almost all I like (boy toys).
I came out to my mum today and she told me this ("no signs"). She won't believe until she hears what the doctor has to say, which is fine, but I'm getting this irrational feel that the doctor is gonna tell me that I'm just confused because I didn't show signs at 3 years old. Cause I dunno what I would do if that happened.
Quote from: artur on April 11, 2011, 04:28:08 PM
I came out to my mum today and she told me this ("no signs"). She won't believe until she hears what the doctor has to say, which is fine, but I'm getting this irrational feel that the doctor is gonna tell me that I'm just confused because I didn't show signs at 3 years old. Cause I dunno what I would do if that happened.
Are you talking about a head doc or a medical doc?
Some guys just don't show any obvious signs or even go through the "I wish I were a boy" stage. Remember that if anybody gives you any guff.
I think the signs for myself personally were that I was so anti-male. I fought so hard against my male tendencies and wanting to be male that the battle alone is the sign that I am transgendered. I tried to prove so hard to the world that I was female that it verges on the unreal. Knowing the whole time that inside I was not really girl and only pretending to be one on the outside. I went as far as having implants and a nose job, dying my hair blonde, manicures, pedicures, make up galore, wearing tight revealing clothing. I am still not out and still have the implants but my hair is my normal hair now, I don't wear make up, wear shirts and jeans, etc. I know guys can wear make up and stuff and once i transition I am sure I will but right now I am just trying to become more comfortable with my male self and trying to bring my inner male out and not conforming. does that make sense?
thanks guys..
Arch I haven't been to the doctor yet, my first appointment is on the 5th next month. I'm gonna be talking to a sexologist and psychologist I think.