Here you go Crash, have fun.
Ummmm??? Thanks.?
What is it you want to know? Without getting sexual, at least not too much, what is it about trans women that intrigues you so?
You said you've been doing research. What sort of research?
-Sandy
it may be better if Crash starts by clarifying who he/she is as far as gender and external phenotype
Kate
Well I didn't have any intentions of starting a thread. But now that ones here... What the hell, I'll go along with it.
And I've been doing research on domestic violence as a whole, with the focus being on violent women, which is why I asked of there have been any CSI women that killed their partner when finding out that they are transexuals. I do know that they get violent, I just dont know if they kill them.
I'm not super-intrigued by transexuals. But I do find you fascinating.
And In terms of a relationship, I'd date a T if she was feminine enough. I like women, and if a T looks like a woman then I'll date her. Non-op, or post-op.
Hope that clears Some things up.
Quote from: kate durcal on April 08, 2011, 04:54:03 PM
it may be better if Crash starts by clarifying who he/she is as far as gender and external phenotype
Kate
I'm a CIS male.
And what's an external phenotype? Never heard of it.
Genotype refers to you chromosomes, a human can be XX (female), XY (male), or intersex (abnormal chromosomes (e.g. XXY, XXX, etc)
Phenotype in this contest is what is between your legs, again penis is male, vagina is female, no clear external genitalia is hermaphroditic.
Sexual orientaon: homosexual, heterosexualk, bisexual, and non-sexual
Gender identity is your self perception, it can go from very male to very female wt everyting in between to non-gender.
Fetishistic ->-bleeped-<-: a person who gets aroused by dressing wit te cloting usually ascribed to the opposite sex
Non-fetishistic ->-bleeped-<- or crosdresser: a person who dresses with clothing usually ascribe to te opposit sex, usually to derive or experince a pleaent state of mind. Yet, tis person has no desire to change his phenotype to look like the opposite secx
Transsexual is a person wose gender identity (in their brin) does not match his genotype and/or phenotyepe, ahd who yto soem level is determined ti change is body to matcis/.her gender ideity
she-male, a person who has changed is/her phenotype to llok like te opposie sex to earn momy in protitutuon oand/or porno
Female impersonators: peopel who dress and act as the opposiye sex just to ake mony in te entertaining industry
There may be other subcategories, but basically waht uI line out above is all about gender, I am livinhg out all the sexual stuff out.
So, now, what is your issue, dear
From wiki:
QuoteA phenotype is any observable characteristic or trait of an organism: such as its morphology, development, biochemical or physiological properties.
I think she was asking what, in addition to your gender, do you present as? I think you clarified that. African american male, presenting as male.
-Sandy
Quote from: -CRaSH- on April 08, 2011, 05:00:46 PM
And I've been doing research on domestic violence as a whole, with the focus being on violent women, which is why I asked of there have been any CSI women that killed their partner when finding out that they are transexuals. I do know that they get violent, I just dont know if they kill them.
I'm not super-intrigued by transexuals. But I do find you fascinating.
Many of us end up in abusive relationships either emotionally or physically. We tend to gravitate toward women that will accept us as trans and overlook any other character traits. We end up as hostages within the relationship because, they can have an extortion over us by threatening to reveal our secret to the world.
I have not heard of any relationships that have gone to the extreme of using deadly force in the case of a trans woman. I would have thought that something like that would have made a pretty big splash in the blogosphere if it were to have happened. Have you?
-Sandy
Yeah I'm a manly XY male I'm African American.
I don't have any issues worth mentioning on this site.
I feel as if I'm heterosexual, although I do like male genitalia though. I only like it when is attatched to someone with a feminine form though.
Quote from: Sandy on April 08, 2011, 05:28:22 PM
Many of us end up in abusive relationships either emotionally or physically. We tend to gravitate toward women that will accept us as trans and overlook any other character traits. We end up as hostages within the relationship because, they can have an extortion over us by threatening to reveal our secret to the world.
I have not heard of any relationships that have gone to the extreme of using deadly force in the case of a trans woman. I would have thought that something like that would have made a pretty big splash in the blogosphere if it were to have happened. Have you?
-Sandy
I was refering to a CIS woman being violent towards a T.
And I haven't Been the least bit active in anything concerning transexuals, this is my first foray in the T
community.
I don't have any issues worth mentioning on this site. THEN LEAVE!
I feel as if I'm heterosexual, THE WAT YOU WORDED THIS SENTENCE IMPLIES THAT YOU ARE NOT SURE YOU ARE HETEROSEXUAL
although I do like male genitalia though. THE WAY YOU WORDED THIS SENTENCE IT SOUND LIKE YOU LIKE SOEMBODYELSE MALE GENITALIA, ARE YOU GAY?
I only like it when is attached to someone with a feminine form though. NOW, FROM THIS SENTENCE IT SEEM NOW YOU LIKE CHICK WITH DICKS!
Either you do not how to properly write your thoughts, or you are one poor confused soul. Explain yourself if you can!
Kate
There is no need to yell Kate, tone it down.
In the interest of playing devil's advocate, Kate, I identifty as lesbian but still find futanari (girls with both sexual organs; it's a Japanese thing...) astoundingly sexy. I wouldn't touch a penis otherwise. Does that make me bi? I don't think so.
Quote from: Serra on April 08, 2011, 05:52:13 PM
In the interest of playing devil's advocate, Kate, I identifty as lesbian but still find futanari (girls with both sexual organs; it's a Japanese thing...) astoundingly sexy. I wouldn't touch a penis otherwise. Does that make me bi? I don't think so.
-high five-
:)
Quote from: kate durcal on April 08, 2011, 05:43:32 PM
I don't have any issues worth mentioning on this site. THEN LEAVE!
I feel as if I'm heterosexual, THE WAT YOU WORDED THIS SENTENCE IMPLIES THAT YOU ARE NOT SURE YOU ARE HETEROSEXUAL
although I do like male genitalia though. THE WAY YOU WORDED THIS SENTENCE IT SOUND LIKE YOU LIKE SOEMBODYELSE MALE GENITALIA, ARE YOU GAY?
I only like it when is attached to someone with a feminine form though. NOW, FROM THIS SENTENCE IT SEEM NOW YOU LIKE CHICK WITH DICKS!
Either you do not how to properly write your thoughts, or you are one poor confused soul. Explain yourself if you can!
Kate
Wow lady.... Why on Earth are you so hostile? When I say the chicks with d***s phrase I don't mean it in a negative way. It's just an affectionate term really. For example: Im black sometimes my friends like to call me the N word. They don't mean anything by it, it's just an affectionate term.
And I'm here just to see what you people are like really.
You sound as if I have upset you with some of my posts, did I? I didn't mean to.
Quote from: -CRaSH- on April 08, 2011, 06:06:40 PM
Wow lady.... Why on Earth are you so hostile? When I say the chicks with d***s phrase I don't mean it in a negative way. It's just an affectionate term really. For example: Im black sometimes my friends like to call me the N word. They don't mean anything by it, it's just an affectionate term.
And I'm here just to see what you people are like really.
You sound as if I have upset you with some of my posts, did I? I didn't mean to.
But if some random white person on the street called you the N word, how would you take it? Not to put too fine a point on this, but you're not our friend. We don't know you. Could you be a friend some day? Sure! But right now you're a new person in a new place with unfamiliar rules, and frankly you don't appear to be making much of an effort to learn or follow those rules. You're bulling around in a store full of fragile china and not really seeming to care much. You may not be INTENDING to offend, but the fact of the matter is, you ARE. If you want people to take you seriously and not get offending every time you touch your keyboard, start actually reading and processing what people are telling you.
That said she did overreact a bit. But I understand why she did, and it's because of the above paragraph.
Hi Crash
Sorry that your having a bit of a rough time there... You have mentioned that you find T women intriguing and/or fascinating, but this is kinda new territory for you
I can understand you're desire to participate in various discussions... Participation is a large part of learning... But as some of the girls have mentioned, you have put your foot in your mouth a couple of times
Maybe it would be best to just chill a bit and observe for awhile and then try participating a bit more later on... If you see an angry bee above your head and then a couple more start buzzin' 'round is it wise to bat the beehive about?
Ladies... Give peace a chance... The guy did apologize for comments made that were deemed offensive
Hi Crash, I didn't reply to your intro because you said you weren't staying, welcome to the site! Your own thread, nice! I hope you took the time to read the rules, I did, and truthfully someone owes you an apology, only Susan and her staff can ask someone to leave. Just remember, this is a support site, myself and many others come here for just that supportive atmosphere. Hugs, Tracey
Welcome to the site Crash and Tracey pretty much said everything I would have. It sounds like you have said a few things thus far that could be taken offensively but having someone who is interested in learning is nice. So please don't take it offensively if some of us correct you, it's understandable to not know you said something offensive when trying to learn. It's like fouling someone on accident in the middle of a basketball game when you don't know the rules.
Good luck with your research, I hope you get the answers you are looking for. As I'm male I'm not much help with that research.
Quote from: Serra on April 08, 2011, 06:26:51 PM
But if some random white person on the street called you the N word, how would you take it? Not to put too fine a point on this, but you're not our friend. We don't know you. Could you be a friend some day? Sure! But right now you're a new person in a new place with unfamiliar rules, and frankly you don't appear to be making much of an effort to learn or follow those rules. You're bulling around in a store full of fragile china and not really seeming to care much. You may not be INTENDING to offend, but the fact of the matter is, you ARE. If you want people to take you seriously and not get offending every time you touch your keyboard, start actually reading and processing what people are telling you.
That said she did overreact a bit. But I understand why she did, and it's because of the above paragraph.
It seems like even if I try to be really nice, you guys just still can find some way to see what I said as negative, and get angry about it. I've actually recieved a hate PM from a user that I haven't even interacted with on this site. I've never been around such emotional people beofre(not saying that it's bad to be emotional).
And Concering the N word. Well... I wouldn't really be angry if some random person called me that.
Let's just say that when I fight. I'm very, very lethal. Therefore I rarely allow myself to get angry enough to want to fight someone, or as angry as any of you guys have been at me. I'm dangerous. I have so much control of m anger, that I can ... Uhhh... Look at me. I've already said too much.
Quote from: Virginia Marie on April 08, 2011, 07:24:15 PM
Hi Crash
Sorry that your having a bit of a rough time there... You have mentioned that you find T women intriguing and/or fascinating, but this is kinda new territory for you
I can understand you're desire to participate in various discussions... Participation is a large part of learning... But as some of the girls have mentioned, you have put your foot in your mouth a couple of times
Maybe it would be best to just chill a bit and observe for awhile and then try participating a bit more later on... If you see an angry bee above your head and then a couple more start buzzin' 'round is it wise to bat the beehive about?
Ladies... Give peace a chance... The guy did apologize for comments made that were deemed offensive
You know the funny thing is, the FtM don't have a problem with me at all. They may be envious, or hate me because I'm a CIS male(a couple of days ago I had saw a topic from a FtM saying that they're jealous, and hateful towards men... For obvious reasons. That's understandable).
Just seems like the MtF community are the ones that have a problem with me.
Quote from: Tracey on April 08, 2011, 07:28:18 PM
Hi Crash, I didn't reply to your intro because you said you weren't staying, welcome to the site! Your own thread, nice! I hope you took the time to read the rules, I did, and truthfully someone owes you an apology, only Susan and her staff can ask someone to leave. Just remember, this is a support site, myself and many others come here for just that supportive atmosphere. Hugs, Tracey
Lol hey ;D, I know that a few people owe me an apology, but its not a problem.
Quote from: -CRaSH- on April 08, 2011, 09:47:06 PM
You know the funny thing is, the FtM don't have a problem with me at all. They may be envious, or hate me because I'm a CIS male(a couple of days ago I had saw a topic from a FtM saying that they're jealous, and hateful towards men... For obvious reasons. That's understandable).
Just seems like the MtF community are the ones that have a problem with me.
I'm sorry you feel that way... I was actually trying to help
Quote from: Andrew Alexander on April 08, 2011, 08:48:30 PM
Welcome to the site Crash and Tracey pretty much said everything I would have. It sounds like you have said a few things thus far that could be taken offensively but having someone who is interested in learning is nice. So please don't take it offensively if some of us correct you, it's understandable to not know you said something offensive when trying to learn. It's like fouling someone on accident in the middle of a basketball game when you don't know the rules.
Good luck with your research, I hope you get the answers you are looking for. As I'm male I'm not much help with that research.
Well I did visit the FtM section of the forum, and I was going to stay there for a bit, but I kinda got side-tracked with everything that's been going on concerning me and the MtF users.
Though I'm not specifically studying one type of transexual over the other. I'm just observing you guys as a whole.
Quote from: Virginia Marie on April 08, 2011, 09:52:20 PM
I'm sorry you feel that way... I was actually trying to help
No, not you in particular, but the community as a whole.
It isn't particularly you
Some Many trans women are rather sensitive and many are quick to go on the defensive... Remember we are a group of people who have been dealt allot of persecution, discrimination and abuse
Being transgendered is somewhat the last frontier of human rights... We are seeking equality much like many others who have had to fight for equal rights
Quote from: Virginia Marie on April 08, 2011, 11:14:20 PM
It isn't particularly you
Some Many trans women are rather sensitive and many are quick to go on the defensive... Remember we are a group of people who have been dealt allot of persecution, discrimination and abuse
Being transgendered is somewhat the last frontier of human rights... We are seeking equality much like many others who have had to fight for equal rights
The main reason that I think I've gotten so much negative stigma is because I'm a CIS male. CIS males(from my understanding at the moment) are the main group responsible for the violence towards T's. It is reasonable that some of you are afraid of me, hate me, want me gone ETC.
Often times when I'm yelled at on this site I didn't really do anything wrong, or they overreacted. But I can see why.
Crash,
I am a straight male. I came here to learn how to treat a co-worker that is transgender. In reading the various posts I have learned a few things that many straight people do not think about.
These people do not have the peace of mind that we have with a body that matches their thoughts. Some due to the economy may never have that peace of mind. They live a life of hell every day battling suicidal thoughts and feeling like outcasts while we go about our daily lives.
Because of this and the fact that they experience the same loving acceptance that the Negros did in Mississippi in the 60's it is very easy to offend them. I am sure that when you were in school you got a little angered in some history courses.
What I am trying to say is that just as the Negros can get a little hot about the "n" word and just as I can get a little hot when I see the word of God blasphemed these people can get a little hot when we word things wrong.
I hope you enjoy your stay here if you stay. But please just be considerate of these people as you would expect a white guy like me to be talking to you. If we want acceptance here I think the apostle Paul pretty much summed it up when he said, loosely paraphrased, to the Jew be a Jew, or attempt to think like those whom you interact with as not to offend them.
I hope that I worded this right.
Take care,
Del
Oh come on now, blasphemy is a victimless crime.
Quote from: tekla on April 09, 2011, 06:21:08 AM
Oh come on now, blasphemy is a victimless crime.
Damned good point you have there! >:-)
I'm not offended. You are an American, you are allowed to be crass! :laugh:
Seriously though, I have never heard of a domestic fatality between a cis-woman and a trans-woman, although there has been a bit of discussion on some local forums, and in magazines about abusive lesbian relationships.
Is your avatar a picture of you? or is the signature picture you?
Well, CRaSH, you've had a chance to make some points and I grudgingly admire your admire you efforts to discuss your issues in a way that tries at least to not to throw gas on a fire.
And to your question regarding cis-female violence against trans women has for the most part been answered, at least from the knowledgeable people here.
How about you do some more research? If you have not already look through some of the lists here and try to understand the horrible things we have to go through. And the joys.
Look though the blogs. Read about what some of us have been through. Both in spiritual and material changes. Do you realize the monetary expense that is involved in this? The costs of our medications are astronomical, and the surgeries are usually paid out of our own pockets. And if you throw in the loss that is incurred in divorce, it is usually debilitating for years if not the rest of our lives. We are casually discriminated against and fired out of hand. We are unemployed and underemployed because of who we are. Does that ring a bell?
Immerse yourself in the larger LGBT world. Check out some of these websites that talk about what being gay, lesbian or trans is all about. No one is asking you to change (lordy no! ;D) and you won't catch "teh gay" as some of our legislators think you might. But I think you may have come here as a bit of a lark looking for some very light information. Now I challenge you. If you really want to know, look at what we have to live with every single day of our lives. These websites are not pornographic, though some may have a bit of erotica on them, but you can just skip those. I dare say you have never even thought to look.
Pam's House Blend. Political activism at it's best:
http://www.pamshouseblend.com/frontPage.do (http://www.pamshouseblend.com/frontPage.do)
The Bilerico Project. Wide ranging reports of news, life and love:
http://www.bilerico.com/ (http://www.bilerico.com/)
Towleroad. A site with homosexual tendencies:
http://www.towleroad.com/ (http://www.towleroad.com/)
My Husband Betty. helen boyd's journal of gender & trans issues:
http://www.myhusbandbetty.com/ (http://www.myhusbandbetty.com/)
Andra James' TSRoadmap. A place almost as good as Susan's for information about transsexuality ;)
http://www.tsroadmap.com/index.html (http://www.tsroadmap.com/index.html)
And Calperia Addam's site. Calpernia's lover, Barry, was murdered in his barracks by his Army's team mates because he dated and fell in love with a transsexual. Their story was told in the movie "Soldiers's Girl".
http://www.calpernia.com/ (http://www.calpernia.com/)
I throw the gauntlet down, -CRaSH-. Learn about us. REALLY learn. This won't take more than a few hours of your time. But really get to know what we are really like. How we live and yearn to live. And how we are treated. To many, we are just ->-bleeped-<- on their shoes.
I don't claim to be an expert in black history. But I lived though the sixties. I experienced civil unrest first hand. I watched the cities burn on almost an annual basis. I watched the idea of civil rights become a cultural meme. And I have read some books. But I know that I will never know what you know. Or what discrimination you have experienced. But I learned, I have an idea. Now I ask you to do the same.
I cannot become black, and you cannot become trans. But together we could learn about each other.
-Sandy
Bravo, Sandy, well said.
Quote from: Del on April 09, 2011, 12:25:45 AM
Crash,
I am a straight male. I came here to learn how to treat a co-worker that is transgender. In reading the various posts I have learned a few things that many straight people do not think about.
These people do not have the peace of mind that we have with a body that matches their thoughts. Some due to the economy may never have that peace of mind. They live a life of hell every day battling suicidal thoughts and feeling like outcasts while we go about our daily lives.
Because of this and the fact that they experience the same loving acceptance that the Negros did in Mississippi in the 60's it is very easy to offend them. I am sure that when you were in school you got a little angered in some history courses.
What I am trying to say is that just as the Negros can get a little hot about the "n" word and just as I can get a little hot when I see the word of God blasphemed these people can get a little hot when we word things wrong.
I hope you enjoy your stay here if you stay. But please just be considerate of these people as you would expect a white guy like me to be talking to you. If we want acceptance here I think the apostle Paul pretty much summed it up when he said, loosely paraphrased, to the Jew be a Jew, or attempt to think like those whom you interact with as not to offend them.
I hope that I worded this right.
Take care,
Del
From what I've seen. The best way to treat a T-woman is to treat the like a woman.
Quote from: justmeinoz on April 09, 2011, 07:33:10 AM
I'm not offended. You are an American, you are allowed to be crass! :laugh:
Seriously though, I have never heard of a domestic fatality between a cis-woman and a trans-woman, although there has been a bit of discussion on some local forums, and in magazines about abusive lesbian relationships.
I'm not just focusing on MtF's being victims, I'm also concerned with the FtM victims. I've seen CIS women become violent with FTM, but I e never heard about them murdering them.
Quote from: kate durcal on April 09, 2011, 10:40:21 AM
Is your avatar a picture of you? or is the signature picture you?
My avatar, and sig are pictures of the same person. It isn't me. But i do look like him a little bit.
Why do you ask?
Quote from: Sandy on April 09, 2011, 11:01:42 AM
Well, CRaSH, you've had a chance to make some points and I grudgingly admire your admire you efforts to discuss your issues in a way that tries at least to not to throw gas on a fire.
And to your question regarding cis-female violence against trans women has for the most part been answered, at least from the knowledgeable people here.
How about you do some more research? If you have not already look through some of the lists here and try to understand the horrible things we have to go through. And the joys.
Look though the blogs. Read about what some of us have been through. Both in spiritual and material changes. Do you realize the monetary expense that is involved in this? The costs of our medications are astronomical, and the surgeries are usually paid out of our own pockets. And if you throw in the loss that is incurred in divorce, it is usually debilitating for years if not the rest of our lives. We are casually discriminated against and fired out of hand. We are unemployed and underemployed because of who we are. Does that ring a bell?
Immerse yourself in the larger LGBT world. Check out some of these websites that talk about what being gay, lesbian or trans is all about. No one is asking you to change (lordy no! ;D) and you won't catch "teh gay" as some of our legislators think you might. But I think you may have come here as a bit of a lark looking for some very light information. Now I challenge you. If you really want to know, look at what we have to live with every single day of our lives. These websites are not pornographic, though some may have a bit of erotica on them, but you can just skip those. I dare say you have never even thought to look.
Pam's House Blend. Political activism at it's best:
http://www.pamshouseblend.com/frontPage.do (http://www.pamshouseblend.com/frontPage.do)
The Bilerico Project. Wide ranging reports of news, life and love:
http://www.bilerico.com/ (http://www.bilerico.com/)
Towleroad. A site with homosexual tendencies:
http://www.towleroad.com/ (http://www.towleroad.com/)
My Husband Betty. helen boyd's journal of gender & trans issues:
http://www.myhusbandbetty.com/ (http://www.myhusbandbetty.com/)
Andra James' TSRoadmap. A place almost as good as Susan's for information about transsexuality ;)
http://www.tsroadmap.com/index.html (http://www.tsroadmap.com/index.html)
And Calperia Addam's site. Calpernia's lover, Barry, was murdered in his barracks by his Army's team mates because he dated and fell in love with a transsexual. Their story was told in the movie "Soldiers's Girl".
http://www.calpernia.com/ (http://www.calpernia.com/)
I throw the gauntlet down, -CRaSH-. Learn about us. REALLY learn. This won't take more than a few hours of your time. But really get to know what we are really like. How we live and yearn to live. And how we are treated. To many, we are just ->-bleeped-<- on their shoes.
I don't claim to be an expert in black history. But I lived though the sixties. I experienced civil unrest first hand. I watched the cities burn on almost an annual basis. I watched the idea of civil rights become a cultural meme. And I have read some books. But I know that I will never know what you know. Or what discrimination you have experienced. But I learned, I have an idea. Now I ask you to do the same.
I cannot become black, and you cannot become trans. But together we could learn about each other.
-Sandy
I'll be sure to look through those websites, thanks. But in terms of personal discrimination, I've gone through none. I was born in 1991. I'm only 19.
And I actually could become trans if I wanted :p.
I just don't want to.
This makes me wonder if I could become black if I wanted to. Ooooo the possibilities..... :P
Quote from: ~RoadToTrista~ on April 09, 2011, 07:10:15 PM
This makes me wonder if I could become black if I wanted to. Ooooo the possibilities..... :P
Well MJ did become white :laugh:.
:embarrassed:
Quote from: Serra on April 08, 2011, 05:52:13 PM
In the interest of playing devil's advocate, Kate, I identifty as lesbian but still find futanari (girls with both sexual organs; it's a Japanese thing...) astoundingly sexy. I wouldn't touch a penis otherwise. Does that make me bi? I don't think so.
Is your username SeraphimGoddess on gamespot?
Quote from: -CRaSH- on April 09, 2011, 07:51:12 PM
:embarrassed:Is your username SeraphimGoddess on gamespot?
I don't have a Gamespot account. Why do you ask?
This makes me wonder if I could become black if I wanted to
There is always the magic of show business. I really want Denzel Washington to play me in the movie on my life, and my partner at work, who is AA, want's Tom Hanks to play him. Yeah, they are both that good.
Crash,
I see where you answered my post saying you would just treat mtf's as women.
That is something I did not want to do because it is just to general and could do more harm than good.
If a co-worker is an mtf and not out it could be disastrous for her.
In that case I would not refer to her as she on the sales floor.
If they are mtf and out it is a different matter.
If they are post op it is yet another matter.
Things aren't just that easy.
And that's why many straight people do more harm than good.
I don't want to be one of them that are so uncaring or thoughtless that I hurt another or even drive them to suicide through total humiliation.
That s why I came here to learn.
Take care man.
Quote from: Serra on April 09, 2011, 09:53:30 PM
I don't have a Gamespot account. Why do you ask?
Oh there's this girl on gamespot who's name is Sera. She's a lesbian, and she likes futanari.
Quote from: -CRaSH- on April 09, 2011, 10:34:30 PM
Oh there's this girl on gamespot who's name is Sera. She's a lesbian, and she likes futanari.
Two r's, not one. The internet is fully of wacky, fun people. Bound to be some who share similar interests.
Quote from: -CRaSH- on April 09, 2011, 06:59:50 PM
And I actually could become trans if I wanted :p.
I just don't want to.
Actually, Crash, it isn't a matter of choosing to trans, it is a matter of being trans. We are trans because we were born that way, just as you were born African-American. We chose to transition.
Quote from: Serra on April 09, 2011, 11:01:13 PM
Two r's, not one. The internet is fully of wacky, fun people. Bound to be some who share similar interests.
True, but it was still a lil' strange seeing two people on two different sites who were similar. Minus the r.
Quote from: Janet Lynn on April 09, 2011, 11:54:32 PM
Actually, Crash, it isn't a matter of choosing to trans, it is a matter of being trans. We are trans because we were born that way, just as you were born African-American. We chose to transition.
Ehhh, I see what you're saying.
Quote from: Del on April 09, 2011, 10:10:01 PM
Crash,
I see where you answered my post saying you would just treat mtf's as women.
That is something I did not want to do because it is just to general and could do more harm than good.
If a co-worker is an mtf and not out it could be disastrous for her.
In that case I would not refer to her as she on the sales floor.
If they are mtf and out it is a different matter.
If they are post op it is yet another matter.
Things aren't just that easy.
And that's why many straight people do more harm than good.
I don't want to be one of them that are so uncaring or thoughtless that I hurt another or even drive them to suicide through total humiliation.
That s why I came here to learn.
Take care man.
Well when I'm working with one, ofcourse I'd have to change that.
But if were not at work. I see nothing wrong with treating them that way.
Quote from: ~RoadToTrista~ on April 09, 2011, 07:10:15 PM
This makes me wonder if I could become black if I wanted to. Ooooo the possibilities..... :P
In 1959 a white journalist by the name John H. Griffin did just that. Under the care, and help from, a dermatologist he artificially darkened his skin and traveled for 6 weeks through the deep south states to better understand and help convey to the world the difficulties faced by people of color in those areas. His diary and story of his time is recounted in his book "Black Like Me".
Just a bit of historical trivia that came to mind when you said that :)
Yes and at one time through constant use of drugs and alcohol i managed to take on the apperance of a completely normal male hoodlum. Should have wrote "f**ked up like me" just watch fear and loathing in las vegas. Anyone want to star in "trans like me" ? CRaSH nice kick at that beehive :)
Quote from: nickikim on April 10, 2011, 04:27:49 AM
Yes and at one time through constant use of drugs and alcohol i managed to take on the apperance of a completely normal male hoodlum. Should have wrote "f**ked up like me" just watch fear and loathing in las vegas. Anyone want to star in "trans like me" ? CRaSH nice kick at that beehive :)
I don't know if you're insulting me, or just trying to be funny.
Quote from: C.J. on April 10, 2011, 04:54:40 AM
I don't actually think any FTMs have commented on anything Crash has said yet...anyway man, I think it's really cool that you're trying to learn more about interacting with the trans community, despite your rather...tumultuous beginning on this site. Same to Del, as well.
I had went into a thread made by a FTM saying how he hates men because he isn't one of them.
I then told him that(due to his behavior) he is manlier than alot of CIS males that I have seen. Made him happy.
And a FTM by the username of yoxi will sometimes comment on the things that I say. Never in a negative manner.
For some odd reason only the MTF get angry at me.
CRaSH, I think my comment about kicking the beehive was ment in humour, this thread has gotten a lot of response in a short time , and here you are in the middle of all that buzz. Sorry if you were insulted.
CRaSH, I'm sorry that you haven't had the most warmhearted welcome from some people here on Susan's. In my opinion, it's uncalled for. It's like putting someone on a bucking bull who's never ridden and expecting them not to fall off. You don't know the "etiquette" behind transpeople, but you are willing to learn, and I'm sure you've had respectful intentions behind every post you've made.
People of Susan's, opressing the opressors is not going to bring equality or understanding. (Not to say you're an opressor CRaSH, but if transpeople acted this way to every cis person we knew, who would want to give us rights or freedom?)
I'm sorry CRaSH.
Quote from: -CRaSH- on April 10, 2011, 05:03:55 AM
I had went into a thread made by a FTM saying how he hates men because he isn't one of them.
I then told him that(due to his behavior) he is manlier than alot of CIS males that I have seen. Made him happy.
And a FTM by the username of yoxi will sometimes comment on the things that I say. Never in a negative manner.
For some odd reason only the MTF get angry at me.
Yoxi is actually an MTF still presenting as male. This is part of the complexity of our condition and this site that takes time to learn and understand. We can't make assumptions based on profile pics.
Well now Crash you do have to admit that when you read back some of your early posts you didn't exactly phrase things in an optimal way. For example in one early post, which I will admit got me irate, you said words to the effect that you would only see an MtF as valid if she conformed to your ideas of femininity.
I agree that later on you did clarify and moderate that statement somewhat but the thing is I don't know a single natal female who wouldn't also have been somewhat upset by the notion of having to conform to a mans concept of womanhood in order to be validated.
So if you want my opinion it isn't MtF's that you tend to upset, it is women in general because to my eyes some of your expressed opinions come over as more than a touch chauvinistic at times. I accept that you may not MEAN them to, but unfortunately they do.
Now it is true that some of those on this site who are in transition are probably more sensitive than normal, but you must remember that most of them are effectively going through a second puberty. It may seem strange to you, but they do regress to adolescent behaviour simply because the HRT is rewiring their systems.
Clearly I don't have that excuse. After 23 years living with another woman I was probably just being a typical militant feminist and being critical of normal male behaviour. ;) So don't take it personally. In fact if it makes you feel better just write me off as a typical lesbian man hater ;D (although I assure you I am not).
Quote from: nickikim on April 10, 2011, 08:20:53 AM
CRaSH, I think my comment about kicking the beehive was ment in humour, this thread has gotten a lot of response in a short time , and here you are in the middle of all that buzz. Sorry if you were insulted.
Oh lol, it's alright, it was just the way you worded it I guess.
Quote from: Valeriedances on April 10, 2011, 09:31:36 AM
As feminine beings we are sensitive to being objectified. It is even more sensitive for transitioning transsexual women, many of whom who have anguish over their genitals, only to find there are men attracted to those genitals and want us to compromise our own identity and act as gay males, which we arent.
Respectfully, the MTF community is trying to understand your presence here, so you are getting some attention. I'm not saying it is, but if it is for dating purposes, this isnt the right place.
If its for friendship, then it is. :)
peace.
-Valerie
Oh, that's understandable. I'm not here on the "prowl" trying to find a date. I don't know where you guys live, many of you are lesbians, and many of you are also out of my age range (I'm 19). Not to mention I have other things on my mind right now.
But I do sometimes e-flirt with some users.
Quote from: Espenoah on April 10, 2011, 12:08:59 PM
CRaSH, I'm sorry that you haven't had the most warmhearted welcome from some people here on Susan's. In my opinion, it's uncalled for. It's like putting someone on a bucking bull who's never ridden and expecting them not to fall off. You don't know the "etiquette" behind transpeople, but you are willing to learn, and I'm sure you've had respectful intentions behind every post you've made.
People of Susan's, opressing the opressors is not going to bring equality or understanding. (Not to say you're an opressor CRaSH, but if transpeople acted this way to every cis person we knew, who would want to give us rights or freedom?)
I'm sorry CRaSH.
Thanks, it's no problem.
I've noticed that the MtF's are mistrusting/ defensive of everything that I do, because the people that are most violent to them are CIS males. I can understand why the MtF's behave like this towards me. But hears the problem. When someone like me takes interest in the T community, but the community as a whole acts like my mere presence is problematic, it's discouraging.
It discourages other CIS's from even learning about T's.
So it's like you guys are sabatoging yourselves.
Tell us a little more about yourself Crash :)
Are you working? Going to school? What are some of your interests?
Quote from: Valeriedances on April 10, 2011, 12:23:48 PM
I was only responding to his comment of wondering why some mtf's may be angry/reacting to him. He did post in the non-op section about sexual interests, so it is not about every cis male we come into contact with. We have other cis males here that havent had any controversy. If you've ever had a male try to coerce you into allowing him to use your genitals for his pleasure at your expense, it may be easier to understand. I'm not saying Crash has done that at all, but he has expressed an interest in genitals of mtf's.
I'm not oppressing him, if it sounds like it, I apologize Crash.
Nahh, it's cool. When it sounds like I'm trying to get "laid" on this site, I'm just e-flirting it's harmless fun.
But there are MtF who don't want to, or never want to have the surgery. I'm sure that they'd be happy that someones their genitals.
Quote from: Melody Maia on April 10, 2011, 12:26:07 PM
Yoxi is actually an MTF still presenting as male. This is part of the complexity of our condition and this site that takes time to learn and understand. We can't make assumptions based on profile pics.
I know that now, he had explained it to me already.
Quote from: rejennyrated on April 10, 2011, 01:26:25 PM
Well now Crash you do have to admit that when you read back some of your early posts you didn't exactly phrase things in an optimal way. For example in one early post, which I will admit got me irate, you said words to the effect that you would only see an MtF as valid if she conformed to your ideas of femininity.
I agree that later on you did clarify and moderate that statement somewhat but the thing is I don't know a single natal female who wouldn't also have been somewhat upset by the notion of having to conform to a mans concept of womanhood in order to be validated.
So if you want my opinion it isn't MtF's that you tend to upset, it is women in general because to my eyes some of your expressed opinions come over as more than a touch chauvinistic at times. I accept that you may not MEAN them to, but unfortunately they do.
Now it is true that some of those on this site who are in transition are probably more sensitive than normal, but you must remember that most of them are effectively going through a second puberty. It may seem strange to you, but they do regress to adolescent behaviour simply because the HRT is rewiring their systems.
Clearly I don't have that excuse. After 23 years living with another woman I was probably just being a typical militant feminist and being critical of normal male behaviour. ;) So don't take it personally. In fact if it makes you feel better just write me off as a typical lesbian man hater ;D (although I assure you I am not).
See.... Now this is strange. I'm an MRA, the sworn enemy of feminists. And ou said that I was displaying "typical male behavior". I'm sorry but that's akin to saying that a Jew being greedy is displaying typical Jew behavior.
That's hate speech.
And I never said that MTF, or any womB for that matter have to conform to my ideas of feminity. I just said for a MTF to be my GF she has to look very feminine in appearance. You know "pass".
Crash, this is not the place for flirting, e-flirting or not. Please refrain from that type of post.
Quote from: Virginia Marie on April 10, 2011, 02:40:18 PM
Tell us a little more about yourself Crash :)
Are you working? Going to school? What are some of your interests?
I'm not working ATM, I had almost gotten a job selling knives but I had to turn them down because I didn't have a vehicle to drive from place to place at that time.
Then I almost got a job at walmart but they decided not to hire me, because I have a violent crime on my record. I'm trying to get that charge expunged(off my record).
Basically what I do right now is just run, and lift weights.
Someone had said that this is a place to discuss ones issues. My main issue right now is that I may be a psychopath.
Quote from: Sarah Louise on April 10, 2011, 02:51:47 PM
Crash, this is not the place for flirting, e-flirting or not. Please refrain from that type of post.
Awwww man :(.
Wow, being out of work sucks, did you do any time ? Do you want to tell us what ya did ? At least what the charge was? Why do you say you might be a phycopath? Do you think you need help with that? Are you ever afraid you might reoffend? Wow too many questions .
Quote from: nickikim on April 10, 2011, 04:01:31 PM
Wow, being out of work sucks, did you do any time ? Do you want to tell us what ya did ? At least what the charge was? Why do you say you might be a phycopath? Do you think you need help with that? Are you ever afraid you might reoffend? Wow too many questions .
I haven't been to a shrink. But I do have some traits of a psychopath. I don't have a conscience, I don't carea bout anyone, I like to hurt people, ETC. I was not born this way.
And my charge is battery. Some guy had stole my stuff while I was in high school so I beat him pretty badly.
Crash, I again thank you for the fact that you are learning. It's great to have another ally. Something you said about privilege in another post got me to thinking if you thought about things we, as trans people, cannot do.
When I was younger I wanted to be in the military. I wanted to serve my country and help people. The military won't allow me to be the man I am there though and I could not have lived a lie and pretended to be female. It would have made myself and those around me miserable.
I was in a 5 year relationship with my ex and we wanted to be married but because I did not have the male genitals that I wanted so badly I was not allowed to have a valid "straight" marriage after 5 years yet teenagers in a month long relationship can get married.
When my ex (yes, she cheated on me but I forgave her) got pregnant I could not adopt the baby in many states because I could not afford almost $6,000 that my state requires in order for them to call me male. A surgery that I dream of.
Every day I go into work and am terrified of a guy realizing that I'm not biologically male even though I live as male because I cannot afford the almost $600 for a name change.
In high school I was forced to use the girls bathroom or else risk being expelled/suspended. There I would get laughed at and yelled at for simply wanting to rush into the bathroom and rush out. I was late to class often because I would wait until everyone left to leave the stall for fear of being tormented or attacked.
Please don't think I mean any disrespect man. You came here asking questions and wanting to learn so I'm giving you my point of view. Imagine living like that.
Quote from: xAndrewx on April 10, 2011, 04:15:35 PM
Crash, I again thank you for the fact that you are learning. It's great to have another ally. Something you said about privilege in another post got me to thinking if you thought about things we, as trans people, cannot do.
When I was younger I wanted to be in the military. I wanted to serve my country and help people. The military won't allow me to be the man I am there though and I could not have lived a lie and pretended to be female. It would have made myself and those around me miserable.
I was in a 5 year relationship with my ex and we wanted to be married but because I did not have the male genitals that I wanted so badly I was not allowed to have a valid "straight" marriage after 5 years yet teenagers in a month long relationship can get married.
When my ex (yes, she cheated on me but I forgave her) got pregnant I could not adopt the baby in many states because I could not afford almost $6,000 that my state requires in order for them to call me male. A surgery that I dream of.
Every day I go into work and am terrified of a guy realizing that I'm not biologically male even though I live as male because I cannot afford the almost $600 for a name change.
In high school I was forced to use the girls bathroom or else risk being expelled/suspended. There I would get laughed at and yelled at for simply wanting to rush into the bathroom and rush out. I was late to class often because I would wait until everyone left to leave the stall for fear of being tormented or attacked.
Please don't think I mean any disrespect man. You came here asking questions and wanting to learn so I'm giving you my point of view. Imagine living like that.
I was definitely not refering to trans privlede in any of my posts. Trans privledge just doesn't exist.
When do you think you'l be able to get the money? And if it doesn't hurt you too much to explain. Why did your ex cheat on you?
I know you weren't man, no worries. That's just what popped into my head when I read your post and figured I would jot it down, maybe help you see another point of view of a transguy.
My ex cheated on me because she is a compulsive liar and cheats on every person she is with whether biomale, biofemale, trans, or anything else. She just cheats on everyone. I knew that and stayed with her so long because I loved her so much. When her daughter (Bella) was born, I was there. I held her even before her mother did and my ex thought I was a great parent but she will never change. She just will not stay faithful to one person. I hope one day she will because it would be sad for her and Bella both.
As for the cash, I work part time but I have a lot of bills. It looks like I'll be getting my name change this month hopefully but surgery seems like it'll never happen at the moment. I might end up trying to get loans.
Oh. You might want to look up if you can get a grant from the government(just type it into google). That should help.
And what is wrong with your ex(does she have some kind of mental disorder?). I've heard of people like that, but I've never seen one.
I'm assuming she bisexual.
Honestly I think she's straight and just likes the attention she gets from being with girls but I could be wrong so I cannot judge. She does have some mental issues but really I think it comes down to low self-esteem and once she is out of that constant attention stage from one person she moves onto the next before breaking it off with the first person. Again, I cannot judge because I do not know for sure.
Grants can be tough to get especially for trans surgery. Plus, there are people out there with life-threatening diseases who could use medical grants more than I need them. While for some this is life-threatening I am able to live with it knowing that eventually surgery will be an option.
So, you lift weights, me too though I'm just getting into it so I'm not so great. I can only lift 40lbs in free-weights as of now. How much can you lift? You don't have to answer, I'm just curious.
Sorry to intrude but I had a thought about your ex, Andrew.
It may be that she is just a naturally non-monogamous person and would be better suited to be in open or polyamorous relationships. If this is the case she may be able to find a person to be in a happy relationship with without having to compromise.
It's a good thought Snailpace. I did ask her a few times and tell her I was open to it but she said she wasn't interested. You are probably right, she probably is but was denying it.
Quote from: xAndrewx on April 10, 2011, 04:44:45 PM
Honestly I think she's straight and just likes the attention she gets from being with girls but I could be wrong so I cannot judge. She does have some mental issues but really I think it comes down to low self-esteem and once she is out of that constant attention stage from one person she moves onto the next before breaking it off with the first person. Again, I cannot judge because I do not know for sure.
Grants can be tough to get especially for trans surgery. Plus, there are people out there with life-threatening diseases who could use medical grants more than I need them. While for some this is life-threatening I am able to live with it knowing that eventually surgery will be an option.
So, you lift weights, me too though I'm just getting into it so I'm not so great. I can only lift 40lbs in free-weights as of now. How much can you lift? You don't have to answer, I'm just curious.
Benchpress: 300
Squat: 315 for reps
ETC. I've been lifting weights since 9th grade(I graduated last year) so I'm not a newbie.
I know it's harder for you to develop because you were born female, but just hang in there.
And I have a question, has your ex ever attacked you? or any of her other exs?
Thanks man well I'm about 3 1/2 months on Testosterone and it's way easier to lift now so it's a start at least. My muscle gain has been massive in comparison to before. Your lifting is pretty impressive man, that's awesome.
That's an interesting question but yes, she has been known to be abusive. Almost lost one of my teeth due to that actually. Sorry for sidetracking your thread by the way.
xAndrewx ,good luck with your name change, it`ll be worth every penny:) I used to date a girl who wasn`t capable of going fifteen minutes without having sex with someone or somthing, but at least she was honest eeer blatant about it, lying cheaters suck. I can`t quote anyone because I `m on fredflintstones cellphone, so yeah. CRaSH, that sounds like, me , I laid a kid out when i was seventeen so bad his heart stopped, luckily I knew CPR, thatsaved his ass and mine. Being down ,out of work ,feeling judged,can make you like that. There was athread here somewhere about feeling dehumanized,or depersonalized,I don`t remember. Do you feel better now that you`re connecting with us here?I know always the questions. Oh yeah did you finish school? You seem intelligent and literate, you could probably put this thread on your resume as typing experience.
Quote from: xAndrewx on April 10, 2011, 05:04:26 PM
Thanks man well I'm about 3 1/2 months on Testosterone and it's way easier to lift now so it's a start at least. My muscle gain has been massive in comparison to before. Your lifting is pretty impressive man, that's awesome.
That's an interesting question but yes, she has been known to be abusive. Almost lost one of my teeth due to that actually. Sorry for sidetracking your thread by the way.
Thanks. But you haven't side-tracked my thread in the slightest.
I study violent women. And I'd like to know what other abusive things your partner has done to you.
Quote from: nickikim on April 10, 2011, 05:07:33 PM
xAndrewx ,good luck with your name change, it`ll be worth every penny:) I used to date a girl who wasn`t capable of going fifteen minutes without having sex with someone or somthing, but at least she was honest eeer blatant about it, lying cheaters suck. I can`t quote anyone because I `m on fredflintstones cellphone, so yeah. CRaSH, that sounds like, me , I laid a kid out when i was seventeen so bad his heart stopped, luckily I knew CPR, thatsaved his ass and mine. Being down ,out of work ,feeling judged,can make you like that. There was athread here somewhere about feeling dehumanized,or depersonalized,I don`t remember. Do you feel better now that you`re connecting with us here?I know always the questions. Oh yeah did you finish school? You seem intelligent and literate, you could probably put this thread on your resume as typing experience.
Thank you. But I probably worse than you. There are things about me that or just down-right inhumane. I don't love, have a desire to be love, or care about anyone. And I don't see the value in human life.
And I do consider myself intelligent, thank you.
It wasn't really being judged or anything that made me likes this.
It was football.
Honestly that's something I avoid talking about man, sorry. I don't like to go into details. So I'm curious why your choice of study. I know you are very defensive of men. I believe in some ways you are right with what you say. The problem is how it is worded. I think that abusive men are pointed out more often than abusive women but at the same time I don't believe the numbers are equal. I think there is too much emphasize put on gender when it comes to abuse. What is important is that one person attacked another person and the person was hurt. So can I ask why you study this?
Quote from: nickikim on April 10, 2011, 05:07:33 PM
xAndrewx ,good luck with your name change, it`ll be worth every penny:) I used to date a girl who wasn`t capable of going fifteen minutes without having sex with someone or somthing, but at least she was honest eeer blatant about it, lying cheaters suck.
Thanks Nickikim :)
Quote from: xAndrewx on April 10, 2011, 05:22:37 PM
Honestly that's something I avoid talking about man, sorry. I don't like to go into details. So I'm curious why your choice of study. I know you are very defensive of men. I believe in some ways you are right with what you say. The problem is how it is worded. I think that abusive men are pointed out more often than abusive women but at the same time I don't believe the numbers are equal. I think there is too much emphasize put on gender when it comes to abuse. What is important is that one person attacked another person and the person was hurt. So can I ask why you study this?
Many studies show the numbers to be equal, or that women do it more. Allow me to explain this with reason.
Don't you agree that most men were taught from childhood to never hit a female. That is a fact.
Consequesntly most women weren't taught to never hit males.
To further illustrate what im saying, this is a video about battered men.
Abused Men (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=56Agy4bTv6Y#)
None of these men hit back because they were taught not to.
I'm sure you didn't hit back either for the same reason
Another thing that I've noticed is that abuse is seen as okay when it is female on male across all forms of life, and media
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AbuseIsOkayWhenItIsFemaleOnMale (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AbuseIsOkayWhenItIsFemaleOnMale)
Therefore it is quite reasonable to come to the conclusion that women abuse men more because it is seen as okay.
I will point you to a website about this very issue. It has stories of men in abusive relationships. Not only were they beaten, but they suffered bias from their friends, family, and law enforcement. Because from some reason, people just cant believe that a woman, can beat a man if he won't defend himself.
http://www.batteredmen.com/gjdvstor.htm (http://www.batteredmen.com/gjdvstor.htm)
And whne you wannatalk about it. I'm right here.
No disrespect meant but the problem with your theory is that neither side will ever agree. Nothing in life is ever exactly equal ya know what I mean? I actually was taught that abuse in general is bad as was almost everyone I know, regardless of gender. Most people, I've met, will tell you that they were taught not to hit anyone unless hit first themselves. Even standard statistics don't agree. Not because of those who control them but because not everyone sees things the same way. In some countries your attacking someone for taking your things probably would have been you "being a man" and defending your stuff. However here it was not considered that way.
Those different views are the issues with your statistics.
There was a young couple that lived in my apt.s building a couple of years ago... The girl would get all psycho and the guy would try to reason with her... She would beat the stuffing out of this guy and sometimes hurt herself as well in the process... But when the police showed up, guess who got hauled off to jail?
Quote from: xAndrewx on April 10, 2011, 05:39:13 PM
No disrespect meant but the problem with your theory is that neither side will ever agree. Nothing in life is ever exactly equal ya know what I mean? I actually was taught that abuse in general is bad as was almost everyone I know, regardless of gender. Most people, I've met, will tell you that they were taught not to hit anyone unless hit first themselves. Even standard statistics don't agree. Not because of those who control them but because not everyone sees things the same way. In some countries your attacking someone for taking your things probably would have been you "being a man" and defending your stuff. However here it was not considered that way.
Those different views are the issues with your statistics.
See that's the thing. If you go up to a random guy on the street, and ask him if he would hit a girl. He wouldn't do it.
The evidence is in this video.
J-Woww punches Mike The Situation in the face jersey shore atlantic city (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UTjESswuhO8#noexternalembed-ws)
Consequently when a man does it to a woman it is seen as much more horrendous.
GUY PUNCHES GIRL AT A BAR FRM JERSEY SHORE (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rPV5PrgUw9A#)
Women have no gripes with hitting men.
This is one reason why I study violent women. It is something that we see often, yet something that we don't care about.
Not to mention that I'm an MRA.
And id you read some of those men's stories?
Quote from: Virginia Marie on April 10, 2011, 05:42:41 PM
There was a couple that lived in my apt.s building a couple of years ago... The girl would get all psycho and the guy would try to reason with her... She would beat the stuffing out of this guy and sometimes hurt herself as well in the process... But when the police showed up, guess who got hauled off to jail?
I like your hair.
On-Topic: What had happened to the couple? This is the bias that I'm trying to address, someone who is beaten shouldn't be sent to jail because out of the two he is the only one with a penis. That's ignorant.
And I'm curious, did you, or anyone else in that community try to intervene?
Quote from: -CRaSH- on April 10, 2011, 02:30:10 PM
and many of you are also out of my age range (I'm 19).
Your avatar looks like you are on your late 20's; and if that indeed the picture of a 19 year old male, then the poor guy has had a hard life, meaning premature aging
you said you are an MRA, what is a MRA?
Quote from: kate durcal on April 10, 2011, 06:04:37 PM
Your avatar looks like you are on your late 20's; and if that indeed the picture of a 19 year old male, then the poor guy has had a hard life, meaning premature aging
Lol, the guy in my avy isn't me. Though I do look like him. And he's 18-19 in that picture.
Quote from: -CRaSH- on April 10, 2011, 05:49:35 PM
I like your hair.
Thank you :)
Quote from: -CRaSH- on April 10, 2011, 05:49:35 PM
On-Topic: What had happened to the couple? This is the bias that I'm trying to address, someone who is beaten shouldn't be sent to jail because out of the two he is the only one with a penis. That's ignorant.
And I'm curious, did you, or anyone else in that community try to intervene?
Several neighbors as well as myself tried to reason with her as well as explain to the cops that she was the one with the problem... But it was to no avail
Dude split and they ended up getting divorced and later she was evicted for trashing her place and threatening other people
Quote from: Virginia Marie on April 10, 2011, 06:16:02 PM
Thank you :)
Several neighbors as well as myself tried to reason with her as well as explain to the cops that she was the one with the problem... But it was to no avail
Dude split and they ended up getting divorced and later she was evicted for trashing her place and threatening other people
You're welcome.
And bias like that is why'd I'd rather be a woman in an abusive relationship, rather than a man in one.
Too be honest I only glanced through them. I'm in the middle of schoolwork but on here as well so I couldn't. The thing is, I'm not denying that men are abused and it is sometimes over looked. My only point is that I doubt it is 100% equal and currently there isn't a way to judge it without bias on any side. You force your point, and I do understand and even agree with some of it. However why does it matter who abuses more. The injustice is anyone getting hurt/abused and anyone who gets falsely charged or accused. This happens often in many cases, not just men who get abused. It's great that you are willing to stand up in what you believe in. You are right, even when I was being abused I "egged her on or started it" according to her friends who automatically assumed I was guilty not her for two reasons: Because I was trans "a freak" and because I am male.
However I ignored that and what bothered me most was that it was not as simple as someone getting hit. It should have nothing to do with gender.
Quote from: xAndrewx on April 10, 2011, 06:41:01 PM
Too be honest I only glanced through them. I'm in the middle of schoolwork but on here as well so I couldn't. The thing is, I'm not denying that men are abused and it is sometimes over looked. My only point is that I doubt it is 100% equal and currently there isn't a way to judge it without bias on any side. You force your point, and I do understand and even agree with some of it. However why does it matter who abuses more. The injustice is anyone getting hurt/abused and anyone who gets falsely charged or accused. This happens often in many cases, not just men who get abused. It's great that you are willing to stand up in what you believe in. You are right, even when I was being abused I "egged her on or started it" according to her friends who automatically assumed I was guilty not her for two reasons: Because I was trans "a freak" and because I am male.
However I ignored that and what bothered me most was that it was not as simple as someone getting hit. It should have nothing to do with gender.
That's my point. Many people assume that abusers are male, and victims are women. And that is not the case. It shouldn't matter what gender does it more, the point is is that it's done:
@ Kate Durcal, CRaSH already answered your avatar question, and what does it matter? If avatar pics mean anything, then half the people on this site are 5 or 6 year old anime characters, a handful are mythical creatures, and at least two are running around with giant swords!
Quote from: Tracey on April 10, 2011, 07:41:44 PM
@ Kate Durcal, CRaSH already answered your avatar question, and what does it matter? If avatar pics mean anything, then half the people on this site are 5 or 6 year old anime characters, a handful are mythical creatures, and at least two are running around with giant swords!
I think she's just angry at me Tracey.
You're adorable, hon!
Hah! I'll be honest CRaSH, your bad reputation points made me get a morbid curiosity of the threads you've posted in and I must say you are a unique case. You don't strike me as a troll, and you really genuinely seem to want to learn. That's an admirable quality, and as someone else stated, expecting you to get terms right and not be offensive without being educated is akin to throwing a firefighter into a burning building without any training....you're gonna get burned, or worse lol.
But hey, let me offer you a warm welcome to Susans. Thanks for sticking around - the worst thing you could have done was storm off the boards all angry and have a permanently negative view of transsexuals as being overly sensitive and defensive beings. I'll admit, many of us ARE, and mainly because cisgender people have mistreated us in the past, but the beauty of this forum is the amazing patience and knowledge many of the users here have. Stick around - you'll get plenty of insight, both for your research and for yourself!
Now, in terms of your research, here is my piece on violent women....
I've only experienced abuse from women. I've gotten sexually harassed and attacked by cis guys in the past, but the physical, emotional, and verbal abuse that I am familiar with came from women. Now don't get me wrong, I view sexual abuse AS physical violence/abuse. But in terms of non-sexual acts...women have been the perpetrators to me.
Two close family members (both female) have physically abused me growing up. One of them threatened to kill me and another family member repeatedly. The other actually ATTEMPTED to kill me and attempted to kill the first woman I mentioned. Pretty screwed up, huh?
I've you want actual specifics, I am more than happy to discuss this via PM as it is quite personal.
But I will also say that I've never had a girlfriend physically abuse me - just emotional abuse and a controlling/manipulative nature. Sometimes I'd just prefer to get hit instead of emotional abuse. =\
Anyways, this thread is so entertaining and full of win! Everyone is awesome for their contributions. CRaSH sounds like an ally, and the last time I checked, we can never have too many allies! :)
Quote from: Espenoah on April 10, 2011, 12:08:59 PM
CRaSH, I'm sorry that you haven't had the most warmhearted welcome from some people here on Susan's. In my opinion, it's uncalled for. It's like putting someone on a bucking bull who's never ridden and expecting them not to fall off. You don't know the "etiquette" behind transpeople, but you are willing to learn, and I'm sure you've had respectful intentions behind every post you've made.
People of Susan's, opressing the opressors is not going to bring equality or understanding. (Not to say you're an opressor CRaSH, but if transpeople acted this way to every cis person we knew, who would want to give us rights or freedom?)
I'm sorry CRaSH.
Don't apologize for me.
I'd like three things. One, everybody go read the entire rules as written by Susan. Two, everybody go read Julie Maries thread: Getting along, a guide to forum communications. Especially the part about if you're not comfortable with the topic, find another. This poster is asking uncomfortable questions, but some are willing to discuss these things. And three, maybe it's time to put a big padlock on this topic. Not on you, CRaSH, but we're getting nowhere. JMO, Tracey
I don't think I'll ever have the spoons for this discussion.
The title of this tread is Crash's Thread for a reason.
It is to give fair warning to those who don't like the flow of this topic to AVOID it.
No one if forced to read each and every post made here at Susans. Crash has a reputation (deserved or not) use your own reasoning when deciding to follow what is said in this thread.
Don't blame Susan's, don't blame the Moderators.
Quote from: Valeriedances on April 11, 2011, 06:14:06 AM
I'm sorry, but I dont see anything entertaining in discussing violence. Soliciting discussion on violence is even worse. What is the purpose?
Oh, I see. So various threads around Susans that revolve around asking fellow transsexuals their experiences in bathrooms, discrimination in the workplace, problems with family and friends doesn't constitute soliciting discussions on violence?
Here is the plain fact: a cismale came onto Susans with a vastly different opinion than a lot of us. The fact that some users are shunning him away and putting him down is not helping. CRaSH is willing to argue that women can be (and are) just as violent as men and I honesty agree with him. Women are more likely to take it out on their kids than on their SO though I've noticed.
But the point being this: listen to the moderators. Some of us are willing to discuss these things with CRaSH and should be allowed to whether you disagree with him, the point of this thread, or both. And if you don't like te topic of disussion, there are hundreds more to choose from around here....
And my "entertaining" comment stemmed from a combination of factors....certainly NOT including the one you listed.
Quote from: Heath on April 10, 2011, 11:57:03 PMThanks for sticking around - the worst thing you could have done was storm off the boards all angry and have a permanently negative view of transsexuals as being overly sensitive and defensive beings.
Agreed 100%. CRaSH reminds me a lot of myself before coming out, although he's cisgender and I'm not. Most people in the world just don't understand us, so we should recognize when we have a chance to spread awareness of how we truly are.
I'm sorry your feel that way Valerie, I hope you take time to relax and think things over.
I guess I am not sure where you see the aggression in Heath's post.
But, you must do as you feel correct.
Quote from: Dàwkbua on April 11, 2011, 12:00:21 PM
Agreed 100%. CRaSH reminds me a lot of myself before coming out, although he's cisgender and I'm not. Most people in the world just don't understand us, so we should recognize when we have a chance to spread awareness of how we truly are.
Yes, we as a collective are quite a misunderstood bunch. Even when I'm 90 years old I will gladly sit in front of the most ignorant person on the subject of trans issues (hopefully the last ignorant one on earth by that point) and explain until I'm blue in the face. That's just how I roll.
And I'll be perfectly honest here, I've always known I was trans, but as a child did I understand anything about trans people or trans politics? No....we all have to start out somewhere though, right?
Quote from: Valeriedances on April 11, 2011, 12:12:10 PM
Your aggression is noted. I will post no more on this site.
Aggression? I'm not an aggressive person - I was just stating my opposing point of view. Defensive perhaps as you were challenging my feeling entertained over this thread, but aggressive I am not. Just sneak a peek at all of my prior posts on this site to know that I'm generally pretty easygoing. Aggressive would entail me being a troll - and I simply never want to associate with that label, lol.
Sarah Louise: Yeah....I wasn't trying to come off as aggressive at all. Though sometimes in my room I have fantasies of becoming the Hulk. JK!! I'm more of a Spiderman type of guy. Right down to the nerdy photography habit.
Everyone forgets that crash came here not even knowing what the hell this place was. To be honest, I wouldn't doubt it one bit if someone from the Buffalo Beast came here to troll. After all, the very first comment he made was on an article I had posted about ->-bleeped-<- gate. First thing out of his mouth? something offensive. He had absolutely no interest in trans issues until he somehow magically landed here from the incredibly small interweb, huh.
I don't think the hostilty you're perpetuating here is needed, Dana. Different opinions can be discussed civilly.
Besides, really, none of us can say for sure why CRaSH wound up here. We can speculate, but to accuse him of something with no proof isn't exactly fair.
And where is he now?
Not everyone can be on all day every day.
I just find it sad that the second a potential ally joins, instead of calmly educating him, he's faced with hostility. I was under the impression that this was a more caring forum than that.
I'm locking this topic for now.
Crash is banned for a week, so continued comment is useless.