I like girls but recently I had sex with one boy in late April and another boy (Who I'm dating because he asked me out in the middle of sex) the day before yesterday and yesterday. My friend told me to have sex with a guy to see if I was straight, gay, or bi. Well, the first time I had sex, it was with a friend of mine who I think is absolutely disgusting and I hated it. I didn't get turned on or feel ANYTHING at all. I have sex with the boy I'm dating now and he doesn't disgust me. I had sex with him for 3 1/2 hours and didn't get turned on or feel anything at all. I don't like the fact that he has a penis and every time I look at it I get jealous and after I have sex with him I feel guilty. The only thing I felt was pain and I just wanted him to finish so I could stop. I fingered the same friend who told me to have sex with a guy and I loved it and didn't feel guilty after it, I felt great. So, I'm really confused. Oh, and there's a possibility that I'm pregnant. The first guy had a condom but since it was my first time I was still worried. The boy I'm dating didn't use a condom the first time we had sex and yesterday the condom broke so we went on without it, but he has a very low sperm count. I don't care if I'm pregnant, I just REALLY don't want to be. It won't make me feel as manly and my boyfriend made me shave all the hair off my body and said I should grow my hair out and start wearing a bra. This will kill me. I don't know what to, someone please help me.
He...told you to be a girl? o_o; Let's go with 'no'. ^^; I strongly feel you should break up with a jerk like that. If someone won't accept you for your identity, maybe they can be a distant friend, but they SHOULD NOT be a boyfriend. (or girlfriend if a girl ends up doing that to you down the road) Like you said, this will kill you, and a relationship is a lesser loss compared to a life. I really think you shouldn't of let him shave you either.
Someone like this is being controlling and disrespectful, I'd be really careful about coordinating any decisions with him. :\
There...is so much wrong with that paragraph that I don't even know where to start..But here goes.
First off, you are clearly not mature enough to be having sex. Secondly, why in the world are you having sex if you don't even enjoy it!? And not to flat out insult you, but why in the world would you be to continue having sex after you knew the condom broke? Seriously, if this wasn't a 'safe place' I'd be laying into you hard right now for your actions.
Stop, now, before you get yourself into any more trouble and while people can still take you seriously. Drop the guy, get a pregnancy test, or if it really was yesterday, go buy plan b.
You're a kid, for whatever's sake, act like one, and be one while you still can, don't screw up this early in the game.
And how in the world does he know he has a low sperm count? Why would ANYONE know that unless they were trying to get a girl pregnant?
Seriously, I really don't think it requires having sex with a guy to know if you're attracted to them. Sex is a component of attraction, not the entire thing. If you aren't attracted to the person you're having sex with, guy or girl, you're obviously not going to enjoy it. Just hope that you don't get some horrible rumor started about you by the guys you're experimenting with..
For the love of God, if you don't want to have sex with someone don't. If any point during sex you want to stop, stop. Don't have sex just because someone told you to. Only have sex if you really want to. You don't have to date someone just because they proposition. Always use a condom. I doubt you really want to be a parent, and I'm pretty sure that's the last thing you need now. I suggest making an appointment at planned parenthood. Only shave your body hair, grow your hair out, or wear a bra, if you want to, it's your body. If he doesn't like it he doesn't have to be your boyfriend. Please start respecting yourself.
Does he know that you are a trans guy? It really sounds like he see's you as a girl, especially when he told you to grow your hair out and wear a bra. You shouldn't really ever do something or become something other than yourself for someone your dating. This is a really stupid example but I had a girlfriend at school a while back, and I moved into one of her classes to see her more ::) I really hated the class, and about 2 days later she broke up with me! I only did it for her and in a couple of days after it meant nothing. So I had a fuuun time trying to get back out of it :P
But yeah, I think before you do anything tho, you should really talk to him about how you feel and where you may be headed in life 8) If he cant accept that...then he's just not worth your time. As for your sexual orientation its ok not to know whether you are straight, gay, or bi yet. Some people take a while before they figure it out. If you didnt feel turned on in sex maybe you just arent sexually attracted to boys or the guy himself. And its really easy to feel jealous when someone has something you really want ;)
Having random sex with someone is not the way to find out what your orientation is, and orientation is not wether or not you can "enjoy" sex with a particular gender, it's wether or not you are actually attracted/interested in the first place and feel like it's what you want.
If you weren't enjoying it - it doesn't even have to mean you're not bi, it just means you put yourself in a crappy situation with a guy you don't connect with.
Stop hurrying to figure out these things, there's really NO reason to. I don't even get why it matters so much to people. If you find someone you actually like - no matter the gender - just go on with that and enjoy.
Also, just because you have a front hole doesn't mean you have to use it sexually, if that's not what you want. Even a guy has to respect that if that's what you're dating.
I was going to break up with him because he knows I'm Transgender but as soon as I started dating him then he kept referring to me as female. He had me give him a kiss before I went to the park and this other boy saw and thought we were both guys....who had a penis, so he said something and my boyfriend (Ugh, I hate saying that word because I want a girlfriend) flipped out and started saying "See, Kentrie, why I told you to start dressing like a girl, it's gonna freak people out." I don't want to break up with him because I don't want to make him mad (We've only been dating 2 days) I know I like girls though because whenever I'm with a guy then I look at a girl and start drooling over the way she has soft skin and just because she's female. I've never looked at a guy that way. He wants me to have sex with him every day and I just can't handle that. I don't even like sex that much.
Yeah. He just needs to be dropped. Don't even think about how mad he gets, because every misery he feels he has -called- for it! The guy's a manwhore, and he's just using you for the sexual experience. You really need to get a preg-test slip like above suggested, because I'm starting to think that he's just pulling lies. (Plus, even if he's being honest, low sperm count on a daily basis might as well be one sexual experience with a high sperm count.) These aren't 'dates', these are intermissions for him to drag in your trust. Any romantic experience really delays before having sex, and that's why the guys use it as later bases when they do baseball anologies, even amongst the perverts. :\
Don't let him get to you for any reason. Even if he pulls threats on revealing you're not a physio-guy, the other thing that's going to reveal you're a physio-guy is if you gain a pregnancy belly over time. Besides, someone like this is going to aim to break down your confidence, which will make you really miserable about yourself if/when he gets enough time to break it. (and I know how it feels to do get pulled into it: I was delayed on going through all of my MtF efforts for several years just because my ex-GF didn't want it...she was only trying to coach me into being a loyal sex toy with income, and now I'm freaking out because my mental patience is shot by now :\)
(Edit: Added below)
( If you're already in the middle of physical transition, btw, I'm sorry for saying the 'physio-guy' bit ^^; Because I'm under the impression that you're still early in everything D: )
Quote from: Kentrie on May 12, 2011, 08:48:16 PM
I was going to break up with him because he knows I'm Transgender but as soon as I started dating him then he kept referring to me as female. He had me give him a kiss before I went to the park and this other boy saw and thought we were both guys....who had a penis, so he said something and my boyfriend (Ugh, I hate saying that word because I want a girlfriend) flipped out and started saying "See, Kentrie, why I told you to start dressing like a girl, it's gonna freak people out." I don't want to break up with him because I don't want to make him mad (We've only been dating 2 days) I know I like girls though because whenever I'm with a guy then I look at a girl and start drooling over the way she has soft skin and just because she's female. I've never looked at a guy that way. He wants me to have sex with him every day and I just can't handle that. I don't even like sex that much.
If you don't want to be with him, break up. No one likes getting broken up with, but you should't stay in a relationship just because breaking up with them will hurt their feelings. Start putting your wants and needs before others. If you don't want to kiss someone, or do anything for that matter, don't.
First I'm going to get this out of the way and agree with everyone else: drop this guy.
You're two days into a "relationship" and it already sounds like a toxic one. Obviously he doesn't care about your feelings, so he only deserves the same in return, and it'll be far better for you if you get out of this sooner rather than later. Do it over the phone or through texts if you need to -- normally I wouldn't say that, but given how this guy sounds my usual reasons don't apply: just get out of this.
Second, you really should go to Planned Parenthood and see if they can give you the morning after pill or not.
Third, I think you already have your answer on your sexuality. If you have no interest in other guys, and only "drool" over girls then obviously you're straight. Sure, this might change in the future, who knows, but for now you have your answer and as others have said it's not really a pressing matter that needs to be figured out right now.
Fourth, and don't take this the wrong way because I'm only trying to help you out, you really need to gain some self-confidence, man. I know it can be hard when you're young and trying to figure things out, but sometimes "faking it 'til you make it" does work, and also sometimes you have to force yourself to do things in order to gain the confidence. Start working out or something, or start a sport that will help you with self-discipline and self-esteem (boxing and martial arts are highly recommended). Sometimes music can help as well. Do things you enjoy and work on feeling comfortable with yourself and the self-confidence will build.
I know it can be difficult feeling comfortable with yourself given the whole trans thing, but you don't have to be 100% comfortable with your body to be self-confident. This is more about feeling good about who you are personality-wise and stuff, feeling confident in your abilities so to speak, than it is about saying that you love everything about yourself. Does that make sense? Sorry if not, I've been sick so I'm trying my best.
But, really, self-confidence is key in so many things. Life can really take off and things can really happen when you're self-confident that you might miss when you're not. Plus, you don't end up in nearly as many bad/potentially bad situations.
Good luck. I know you're young, so take these as the words of someone who, really, was in the same low-confidence position not that horribly long ago.
Compromising yourself gets you nowhere: you need to stand your ground on things and, really, put yourself before others. They're responsible for them; you're responsible for you.
My mom refuses to let me take a morning after pill. She said if I'm pregnant then I'm keeping it. I'm really freaking out right now because I don't want to have a kid. My brain is full of "What ifs"
Quote from: Kentrie on May 12, 2011, 10:47:19 PM
My mom refuses to let me take a morning after pill. She said if I'm pregnant then I'm keeping it. I'm really freaking out right now because I don't want to have a kid. My brain is full of "What ifs"
It's not her body it's not her choice, even if she is your mom. If you want an abortion go get one. You can get finical assistance. Call up your local planned parent hood.
She would disown me and kick me out of the house if I had that done.
She doesn't have to know about the morning after pill, just get it and lie to her, tell her you didn't.
This post is baffling to me.
Why are you dating someone you obviously don't want to date? Why would you have sex with a guy once, let alone three times, if you don't want to have sex with one at all? Why would you keep having sex with someone when it was painful, instead of telling him to stop? Why would you even consider doing things like growing out your hair, to please someone you don't even like, when they would cause you that much dysphoria? And why won't you break up with a guy who doesn't like who you are, who you don't like, who insists on sex even when you don't want it, and is making you this uncomfortable? I'd like to understand and be supportive, but I just have no idea what's going on in your mind.
Quote from: Kentrie on May 12, 2011, 10:52:29 PM
She would disown me and kick me out of the house if I had that done.
Don't tell her.
Quote from: Sharky on May 12, 2011, 10:48:03 PM
It's not her body it's not her choice, even if she is your mom.
Planned Parenthood holds the same opinion. If for some reason they give you a hard time, see if you can find it at a drugstore in your area.
And Nikolai's right: your ma doesn't have to know.
Would she really disown you and kick you out for this? If so, I have to ask...is that better than potentially having a baby? It's an honest question, because that sort of sounds like a lose-lose situation in which you have to make a choice. There's ways you can get that pill that leaves her with no way of knowing about it unless you tell her, and that sounds like a better route to go than doing nothing and constantly worrying until it's confirmed one way or another whether you might be pregnant.
Wait, what the ->-bleeped-<-! Your mother knows all this? She knows how you are letting people treat you?
I think I know now what I'll tell my daughter if she asks me for birth control.
Or son.
Kentrie, I'm sure that you have many factors to consider if it turns out that you are pregnant. If you ARE, then you will want to know as soon as you can so that you have options.
People are telling you that if you get an abortion or take the morning after pill, you don't need to tell your mother. That's definitely true if you're of age; I'm not sure of the laws if you're not--and if you're a minor, don't say anything in the thread. Save that for private communication.
But if you do wind up pregnant and "getting rid of it," do consider the personal cost of not telling your mother. There might not be any disadvantages to keeping a secret from her, but only you can weigh the pluses and minuses. And you can't do that till you know.
When it comes to sexual orientation, lots of people experiment. But, as others have pointed out, it's hard to make decisions about your orientation if you're basing your decision on sex with people you're not attracted to. You seem to be struggling to sort things out. I understand that impulse--it can drive a person to do things he doesn't even really want to do. And social pressure can be tremendous as well.
But I think some other people have the right idea. You really don't need to figure it out right this minute, do you? And some kinds of experiences might not help you to decide. Maybe you should let it unfold at its own pace. You might feel differently about both men and women after you transition, if you plan to transition. Then again, maybe not. No way to know right now.
If nothing else, sex with girls won't involve pregnancy dangers.
If you're with a guy and WANT to explore that relationship or see if you can get him to understand who you are, you can do that. But if your heart isn't in it, if he's pressuring you and making you uncomfortable, if you're pressuring yourself, if after quite a bit of discussion he refuses to recognize your identity--not so good.
Looks like you're another West Virginia boy--maybe you fellas ought to band together and support each other.
Hang in there--one step at a time.
My mom likes the boy because he's always polite to both me and her but he just doesn't like me for me. He's more of my friend than anything. My mom doesn't understand what I'm going through and it stresses her out so much that one time she almost had a heart attack. Are there any symptoms of pregnancy in the first week after you have sex?
He doesn't sound very polite.
QuoteHe had me give him a kiss before I went to the park and this other boy saw and thought we were both guys....who had a penis, so he said something and my boyfriend (Ugh, I hate saying that word because I want a girlfriend)
So why are you dating this guy?
And your mom obviously isn't seeing everything, if she likes this kid because he's "polite". Polite people don't run around commanding everyone else what to do and how to do it, and what to shave while doing so. Drop the ->-bleeped-<-, get fuzzy, and don't ->-bleeped-<- someone unless you really want to.
Seriously.
Whoever said it earlier was absolutely right, sleeping around will not make your orientation make sense, if anything it'll screw your perception up even more and (most likely) make you feel like crap in the long run.
Kentrie
There are many disturbing aspects to your thread. Go and see a doctor if you are pregnant get the after pill or abort. IT IS YOUR CHOICE. First signs, Are your breasts more tender?
I'm sorry if this offends, but why have sex with a person you don't want to have sex with? Why date guys as a female if you are male? There is nothing to prove by having sex with someone.
I would be no less female if I had sex using my (yuk) penis with another woman, it would not prove anything. Yes I would, or in the past, would have an orgasm, so what? If an FtM has his genital areas massaged and has an orgasm does that make him female?
As Arch says you may wish to pm Mods and Admins off site. We may not be able to help but we may be able to give some advice.
Your body is yours.
Cindy
What?
I feel guilty after having sex too. Suicidal, infact. I'm not attracted to women, only men. Finally had real sex with a guy and felt incredibly bad afterwards.
If I got...that p word....personally....I'd beat my stomach until the thing died. I'm not a woman, that stuff's not for me. But that's just me, that's what I've thought since I was a kid.
Never change for someone else, even if you're dating them. Been there, done that. Big mistake.
when you're experiencing signs of pregnancy it's usually too late for the morning after pill. you should try to get your hands on that right now. i mean now. a week from now, it will be too late for that, tomorrow, it may be too late for that.
you don't want to be pregnant, so do what you have to!
seriously man, it's the first thing you need to do. you can think about what to tell/not tell your mom or what to do with your "boyfriend" LATER. Take some responsibility for yourself!
also, a guy who tells you he has low sperm count so he can go on doing you without a condom is NOT a father!
(1) You can buy the morning after pill over the counter. If it's been less than 72 hours, it's not too late. If you can manage to find time to have sex every day without your mother's permission, you can find time to go to the drugstore or Planned Parenthood. No excuses. Go. The pill isn't an abortion, it's pregnancy prevention, there's nothing to feel guilty about, just suck it up and go do it. Now.
(2) Get an STD test in the next 2 weeks, and another in about 6 weeks. If a person will have unprotected sex with you outside of a very long-term committed relationship, they've probably done it with other people, and no, I don't give a flying f if he told you he was a virgin/had been tested, he's a lying sack of crap if he did.
(3) Dump the motherf'ing ->-bleeped-<-. He's pressured you into sex, shown absolutely no concern for your feelings, and worst of all knowingly endangered your health. He isn't even worth being friends with. Lose him.
(4) Date guys if you want. Date girls if you want. But get some self-respect and stop doing things you don't want to do. And if you can't stand up for yourself within a relationship, then don't date anyone at all for a while until you grow up and learn to take care of yourself.
I agree with everyone else in that you should dump the guy and stay away from sex for now, there's really NO reason to rush into figuring out your orientation. I'm 34 and I've got my own issues to work out still. I'm not much into sex because I feel disgusted with myself for agreeing to or participating in any sexual act. But I'm from WV too so I know how backwards parents can be here. You look really young and it seems crazy to me that a mom would want to force her kid to have and raise a baby at such a young age. But small town people are religious and religion teaches them that the only purpose in life for women is to be barefoot & pregnant, in the kitchen cooking & cleaning & raising children. I sent you a PM and if you're in my area and need someone to talk to or even a ride somewhere just let me know.
What I want to said has already been said, so here:
http://www.whcwva.com/wv_abortionlaws.html (http://www.whcwva.com/wv_abortionlaws.html)
It's a link to a women's (sorry, but there just isn't a trans men abortion clinic) health clinic who performs abortions in West Virginia. It has the laws regarding teen abortions in your state. There are options for telling a parent and not telling a parent. Regardless of which route you go, they'll still have to tell you about abortion alternatives and risks plus offer you an ultrasound to see the fetus.
I know that a lot of people are telling you to get an abortion or take the morning after pill (which, in WV, you can only get if you are 17+ or under 17 and have a prescription), but it's ultimately your decision. Please don't feel pressured to make a decision you aren't comfortable with.
Quote from: JayUnit on May 13, 2011, 04:28:20 AM
What?
Seconded. Sweetie are you for real because this is over the top madness
Kentri, man listen to them they are right. Don't screw up your life for someone else. Go get the morning after pill if there is still time. If your mom asks then, only a suggestion, wait then do a prego test and say you guess you aren't after all.
Seriously dump the guy and I second Kyrils good advice.
Quote from: Squirrel698 on May 13, 2011, 12:05:34 PM
Seconded. Sweetie are you for real because this is over the top madness
Well considering he's from West Virginia, I'd guess so because it's common for kids to be VERY sheltered and controlled by their parents here. I've always said I had a strict upbringing, but still, even that was nowhere as strict as others I know have had. And I was extremely sheltered and that got me made fun of a lot at first when I was homeless, because at 16 I truly knew nothing and didn't get sex jokes. When you're sheltered, you don't learn how to act or learn the dangers of trusting others, sleeping around, etc. It took me a long time to get up to speed. Even now, I still get embarrassed and angry with myself for being a bit naive about just how bad others' intentions truly are. I still get shocked by the level of deception and ill intent in others and hate myself for being too dumb to see it before it's too late.
I also had a strict background and had no clue about sex for a long time because of it.
According to this kid, his mother knows he is sleeping around after 2 days of knowing the guy. Yet she doesn't object to that, only to ending what amounts to a formless mass of cells. On top of that his mother thinks that the guy is 'polite.'
That doesn't work with a sheltered background. Or any kind of decency whatsoever.
Yes I know it could all be true. If so he needs to be removed from that house so his Mom can stop pimping him out.
Going to far? I have kids so situations like this just turn my stomach. The one thing that gives me hope is that he is on this site. Shows he still has a bit of free will.
Maybe the guy puts on a different face to the mom? And I don't know them or anything, but it seems like parents can "accept" a child's promiscuity by basically ignoring it or not thinking about it because it's too unpleasant a thought for them to deal with and address. So they come down on the child for the end result, not the action. ???
Or it could be some sick sh!t like the mom really wants grandchildren, regardless of her child's age?? :(
I've had girlfriends who didn't treat me the greatest and they were the ones my mother loved because they had a very charming and manipulating personality, that's how they lure you in.
I just can not imagine ever having sex for that long while not enjoying it at all without saying anything and keeping them as a partner just 'because'. It doesn't make sense.
Despite how mad the mother might be that her child is pregnant it might be one of those things where she'd be a lot more mad if her kid had an abortion.
Quote from: N.Chaos on May 13, 2011, 03:52:27 AM
Whoever said it earlier was absolutely right, sleeping around will not make your orientation make sense, if anything it'll screw your perception you up even more
I learned this the hard way. It's all very well us saying "How on Earth can you keep doing this" until we're the ones in the middle of it. When your self-esteem's rock bottom, the word no doesn't exist in your vocabulary. You think it's all you deserve, you know no better so you settle for the attention you do get. Also, about the upbringing - sheltered or not, the wrong kind of peer pressure can trump everything and pull you into nasty situations, as we're seeing here.
Kyril and others gave some good advice, but partly as someone who's come out the other end, I have this to add:
1) I don't know how things work in the States, but I've heard shelters/youth help/whatever for homeless kids is out there. Look into that ASAP. If your mum would disown you for aborting an unwanted pregnancy, what's gonna happen with your being trans? Even if she doesn't kick you out, the atmosphere would be so toxic you wouldn't be able to breathe - sounds like it's getting that way already :S
2) Get yourself some counselling. Not the therapy we all need to go through transition, just general (preferably youth) counselling, so you can talk all this over with someone qualified to help. Get referred if that's what it takes. The trans stuff will come out no doubt, but you have bigger problems that need dealing with first.
3) Find a new circle of friends. People telling you to screw guys for the hell of it aren't friends, they're irresponsible arseholes.
4) Look into assertiveness classes, buy some books, whatever it takes so you can start working on your confidence.
You're probably finding this out already, but forcing yourself to have sex when you're clearly not enjoying it is self-rape. You hear so often about victims of rape, how they feel afterwards - it's the same when you do it to yourself. I speak from experience here - stop doing this before you cause yourself any more damage.
As to your last question: You don't experience signs of pregnancy until about a month later - and it's only about then you can do a reliable test. Depending how regular you are, you may notice missed periods first. I was never regular, so the first thing I noticed was nausea. I couldn't drink coffee, and I'm usually an avid coffee drinker. Even the smell of it made me sick.
And yes, people put on a lovely face to the parents; partly (I'm pretty sure) so that they won't believe you when you start explaining how they treat you. Mind you, if during said telling the floodgates open, that's a pretty good sign to the parents that you aren't making this up.
Quote from: Nemo on May 13, 2011, 03:00:59 PM
2) Get yourself some counselling. Not the therapy we all need to go through transition, just general (preferably youth) counselling, so you can talk all this over with someone qualified to help. Get referred if that's what it takes. The trans stuff will come out no doubt, but you have bigger problems that need dealing with first.
3) Find a new circle of friends. People telling you to screw guys for the hell of it aren't friends, they're irresponsible arseholes.
Agreed. Since you're in the states if you are nearby a college with a psychology/psychiatry program some of them have free or sliding scale counciling where the students (after a certain amount of time learning and such) practice under the eye of an experienced professional. Kinda like going to a hair school to get your haircut. Also if your high school has some sort of S.A.F.E. program (like a counciling program) the councilor there or maybe even your guidance councilor can refer you to a councilor outside who is free or sliding scale. Do be careful what you say to them (the school councilor) because asking for the help for a friend is one thing but if you say anything about yourself being in danger or someone else in danger they have the right to report it (some of them tend to find loopholes to report things or call parents) so I'd say your friend nearby needs some counciling and he can't aford it.
Quote from: Nemo on May 13, 2011, 03:00:59 PM
I learned this the hard way. It's all very well us saying "How on Earth can you keep doing this" until we're the ones in the middle of it. When your self-esteem's rock bottom, the word no doesn't exist in your vocabulary. You think it's all you deserve, you know no better so you settle for the attention you do get. Also, about the upbringing - sheltered or not, the wrong kind of peer pressure can trump everything and pull you into nasty situations, as we're seeing here.
Nemo's right on everything, especially that specific part. That's probably why I initially got so pissed off reading your post, I've
been in that spot before where you think you're so worthless you deserve every kind of crap imaginable. And I look back on it now, and it just pisses me off like nothing else. You've got to break that trend, and the sooner the better.
I was supposed to start my period last night and I thought I did but I'm barely bleeding...I'm just spotting and I had sex the first time with him 4 days ago, I read that that's a pregnancy symptom but some people tell me that having sex can make your period do weird stuff like that. My boyfriend told me if I didn't start my period in two days then he would buy me a pregnancy test but I wouldn't be able to take the test until the first week of June. The last time we had sex was 3 days ago so the morning after pill wouldn't work either.
So youre not breaking up with him?
Im really hoping you learn to respect yourself.
Quote from: Squirrel698 on May 13, 2011, 12:05:34 PM
Seconded. Sweetie are you for real because this is over the top madness
I have to quote them because just wow.... I just can't say anything here without being cruel. =/
QuoteI have to quote them because just wow.... I just can't say anything here without being cruel. =/
This.
Quote from: Korlee on May 17, 2011, 01:50:53 AM
I have to quote them because just wow.... I just can't say anything here without being cruel. =/
In risk of coming across as harsh, I will say something because it sounds like I am not alone on thinking this.
There is asking for help and there is wanting people to just feel bad for you. It seems like you have ignored all of our suggestions and keep posting things that make you come across as helpless.
There is no way of knowing you are pregnant in like, 4 days. Hence why you can't even take the pregnancy test for another 2 weeks.
I understand being stuck in a situation that is hard to get out of but if you're not even going to listen or respond to anything people say when they're trying to help then why reach out? People have listened and posted good advice, even with links and all you can say is an extension of your situation while disregarding everyone.
Sorry, but regardless I also hope you learn to respect yourself otherwise other people are going to continue to not respect you back.
Well said JayUnit, I 100% agree. I would have said something myself, but I come across as brutally heavy handed at the best of times. :(
Yeah having sympathy doesn't solve anything. If you don't like the way you are being treated you have to take action. Loose the victim mentality, stop being everyones door mat. No one is going to respect you if you don't respect yourself.
Quote from: Kentrie on May 17, 2011, 01:01:16 AM
I was supposed to start my period last night and I thought I did but I'm barely bleeding...I'm just spotting and I had sex the first time with him 4 days ago, I read that that's a pregnancy symptom but some people tell me that having sex can make your period do weird stuff like that. My boyfriend told me if I didn't start my period in two days then he would buy me a pregnancy test but I wouldn't be able to take the test until the first week of June. The last time we had sex was 3 days ago so the morning after pill wouldn't work either.
Maybe you didn't read this guy's post, but I thought it was great, so I'll just repeat it.
Quote from: kyril on May 13, 2011, 09:07:52 AM
(1) You can buy the morning after pill over the counter. If it's been less than 72 hours, it's not too late. If you can manage to find time to have sex every day without your mother's permission, you can find time to go to the drugstore or Planned Parenthood. No excuses. Go. The pill isn't an abortion, it's pregnancy prevention, there's nothing to feel guilty about, just suck it up and go do it. Now.
(2) Get an STD test in the next 2 weeks, and another in about 6 weeks. If a person will have unprotected sex with you outside of a very long-term committed relationship, they've probably done it with other people, and no, I don't give a flying f if he told you he was a virgin/had been tested, he's a lying sack of crap if he did.
(3) Dump the motherf'ing ->-bleeped-<-. He's pressured you into sex, shown absolutely no concern for your feelings, and worst of all knowingly endangered your health. He isn't even worth being friends with. Lose him.
(4) Date guys if you want. Date girls if you want. But get some self-respect and stop doing things you don't want to do. And if you can't stand up for yourself within a relationship, then don't date anyone at all for a while until you grow up and learn to take care of yourself.
Just to add to what JohnAlex said, in fact, the 72-hour cutoff isn't an absolute deadline. The effectiveness of the pill tapers off continuously over a period of about a week. But the longer you wait, the less effective it is.
Bet that pill is hard to find in most of West Virginia.
http://www.wvfree.org/docs/pharmSurvey.pdf (http://www.wvfree.org/docs/pharmSurvey.pdf)
QuoteThe total number of pharmacies that participated was 431 resulting in a 78% response rate. Over two-thirds (71%) said they currently stock Plan B.
Of the 125 pharmacies that do NOT stock Plan B, almost half (49%) said they were able to get plan B within 24 hours. Also, one quarter of the pharmacies that do not carry Plan B said they provided referrals to a nearby pharmacy where Plan B is available.
Here's a link to get you started finding somewhere in WV that can help:
http://www.wvfree.org/pregnancy-emergency.html (http://www.wvfree.org/pregnancy-emergency.html)
Not a bad link to have anyway, since it has resources for family planning centers that can do pregnancy tests and other reproductive health services.
Thanks everyone.
So what's your game plan?
Guys, I think he gets the picture: he's going to have to make some changes in his life. But remember that a little tough love can go a long way.
Oh, and please, folks, lay off certain four-letter words. Most of them do not get filtered out, so mods have to step in and change them one by one. Variations on the "s" word and the "f" word, mainly. The ToS do not specify what is or is not allowed, but #11 does say, "Foul or obscene language, and/or subjects belongs on the street. Please do not bring it on to my site, my chat or my forums."