I was talking to Viola in the chat and I said to her that I don't think I would do the current from of SRS. I've researched it and the current way of SRS and decided I just don't like the way it is done, it's not quite what I want. I guess it works for most people but I wouldn't settle for it just because it's the only option, I wouldn't get an outfit that I wasn't completely happy with just because it was the only option I had available so then why would I have SRS if I know I wouldn't be compliantly satisfied with the results. Not I am not knocking anyone who has gone through or is planning on going through the current SRS I'm just saying I know what I would want from SRS and it's currently not offered. Does any MTF's feel the same what that I do about the whole thing? I would love to hear everyones opinion about this.
Quote from: Moxie F. on May 21, 2011, 05:22:06 AM
I was talking to Viola in the chat and I said to her that I don't think I would do the current from of SRS. I've researched it and the current way of SRS and decided I just don't like the way it is done, it's not quite what I want. I guess it works for most people but I wouldn't settle for it just because it's the only option, I wouldn't get an outfit that I wasn't completely happy with just because it was the only option I had available so then why would I have SRS if I know I wouldn't be compliantly satisfied with the results. Not I am not knocking anyone who has gone through or is planning on going through the current SRS I'm just saying I know what I would want from SRS and it's currently not offered. Does any MTF's feel the same what that I do about the whole thing? I would love to hear everyones opinion about this.
While I understand and fully share your sentiments about the shortcomings I think you are neglecting the fact that living a successful and happy life is the art of the compromise.
99 times out of a hundred the choice in life is simply NOT that simple because there are real consequences to each action or non action.
Always holding out for exactly what you want is a recipe for bitterness and frustration on a grand scale - and indeed in many cases would result in almost certain early death. For example I would like to be able to live in a palace. I cant afford one, but it doesn't stop me buying or renting a house, because if I don't then I will be homeless and probably dead in a short while from one of the many complications that afflict those who must sleep rough.
To use your outfit analogy the choice not to buy it is the product of a rather spoiled and privileged way of thinking - which assumes you have other clothes and therefore no consequences to not buying it. What if the consequence of not buying it was that you had no other clothes and would therefore have to walk around nude. You might then be arrested for indecency and maybe, in some cultures, put to death? Would you buy it then even though it wasn't your perfect choice? Of course you would.
Well that is more the way that I think about SRS. Yes I wish it was better but the non-op option would have had consequences - namely my certain death! Without surgery my hatred of my genitals was undoubtedly sufficient that I would have taken a knife to them or smashed them to pulp with a hammer! It was only the lucky early life discovery that surgery WAS possible which stayed my hand.
Now I am not going to get myself banned or reprimanded by suggesting that if you don't dislike your genitals to that extent then you are not genuine because that would be wrong, but what I will say is that there are clearly differing motivations here. If you CAN live with your original setup then I envy you, because I never could. So for those of us who feel as I do the limitations of SRS are just part of life. As they say life isn't perfect.
I thought the same way a couple of years prior to srs. Now, after 8 months post and a few ups and downs, I realize that things aren't really that bad. Sure, it's not perfect but, then again, nothing really is--and I doubt that the surgery itself will ever be perfect as much of it depends on how we heal. In my case everything works, I've lost no depth, I have no problems dilating and, even though things are still falling into shape, it really doesn't look all that bad.
I'm now finding that the surgery itself is more than just the physical--there's a big mental change which takes place as well. With me I'm now doing things that I never did pre-op like--GOING OUT! I never really had any friends to speak of so, pre-op, I basically kept to myself and stayed indoors. Now, I find myself going out and doing things that I only wanted to do prior. Today, for example, I'm spending the day in one of our local parks taking photos--a new hobby that I only dreamed of doing pre-op.
The bottom line is, I went into this with the lowest of expectations and have come out with far more than I bargained for AND, it was FREE! :laugh: :laugh:
I am not sure what is the problem.
Externally it is all the same, knowing biology the tissues which make it up are the same too.
Internally, ok, it is a bit artificial (again, just due to the lack of the organs, tissues are the same) but one day we'll be able to transplant organs and that will deal with it.
The only other thing to bear in mind is the scars and healing which for now is a fact, due barely if at all visible.
Why not tell us what you do not approve of the surgery so we may be able to see if some of it is misguided or not?
Quote from: Kristyn on May 21, 2011, 06:07:13 AM
I thought the same way a couple of years prior to srs. Now, after 8 months post and a few ups and downs, I realize that things aren't really that bad. Sure, it's not perfect but, then again, nothing really is--and I doubt that the surgery itself will ever be perfect as much of it depends on how we heal. In my case everything works, I've lost no depth, I have no problems dilating and, even though things are still falling into shape, it really doesn't look all that bad.
I'm now finding that the surgery itself is more than just the physical--there's a big mental change which takes place as well. With me I'm now doing things that I never did pre-op like--GOING OUT! I never really had any friends to speak of so, pre-op, I basically kept to myself and stayed indoors. Now, I find myself going out and doing things that I only wanted to do prior. Today, for example, I'm spending the day in one of our local parks taking photos--a new hobby that I only dreamed of doing pre-op.
The bottom line is, I went into this with the lowest of expectations and have come out with far more than I bargained for AND, it was FREE! :laugh: :laugh:
you have a point with the expectation because the girls I've talked to who went through SRS who were ultimately unsatisfied about it might have been expecting one thing and since they didn't get exactly what they imagined and that may have been the cause of their complaining.
While I am very very far from even seriously thinking about SRS but the main thing I'm scared of is if I do it down the line would be possibly losing any and all sexual desire and/or feeling. Some girls ended up with unsatisfactory sexual experiences after becoming post-op and yes sex isn't everything but at this point in time I'm not sure if I would risk it but down the line who knows.
To have resolved the dissonance between my mind and my body has been absolutely worth it for parts that are as close as possible with today's techniques. To have been rid of that pain means so, so much and I have no regrets.
Like others have said, it depends on what you expect to get out of surgery. The common concerns seem to be over the possible loss of orgasm, lack of depth, etc. It's surgery, there are risks, even death. And if you search the web you're likely to hear more horror stories of surgery failures then anything else, I would venture to say that becuase people that are satisfied to thrilled with the results don't take up as much space on the internet as people who aren't.
Ask people until you're blue in the face (assuming they're willing to talk about their experiences), heck ask to see the results if they're willing to go that far with it. The point is, see for yourself first hand what the post surgical results are like, not just what you read about on the internet. As for the rest of it, childbirth, etc yeah there are the limitations. But ask any cis-woman and pregnancy and childbirth is no fairytale either.
Quote from: Valeriedances on May 21, 2011, 08:12:31 AM
I am not orgasmic yet, but believe its possible.
I should have mentioned sex is about more then just an orgasm anyways... :)
I don't have actual statistics to back it up, but I would imagine very few non-->-bleeped-<-s are going to be interested in an intimate (sexual) relationship with a pre- or non-op.
All I can say is that I believe that the incidence of unsatisfactory sexual outcome is rather smaller than some people seem to believe. Yes it does happen to an unlucky few, but most people, as long as they go to a decent surgeon and obey postoperative care instructions, get perfectly workable results.
I was done in an era when the surgery was far more primitive than what is offered today. Until I had a modern re-work the cosmetics of my result was far from pretty, but it never stopped me enjoying a healthy sex life. I was just thankful that I was closer to what I wanted than I had been beforehand. The same applies to my update. The cosmetics are vastly improved, as is (to my astonishment) the functionality. It is still not perfect, but it works fine.
The people who have problems fall into the following categories. 1. a very tiny minority are just unlucky. 2. A further small percentage have problems because of poor surgery or because they ignored surgeons instructions (for example by not dllating properly) 3. but by far and away the largest group are unhappy simply because, as I said in my first answer, they don't understand how to compromise with reality. Life just isn't perfect!
Needless to say I was delighted with my original result, and I remain so after the revision. Oh and whether I was lucky or not I don't know, but I was orgasmic almost from day one post surgery and I remain so to this day.
The final thing I want to say is that surgeons often do give dire warnings about numbness, loss of desire and all sorts of stuff. They have to because they need to cover themselves just in case something doe go wrong. However such things usually simply dont happen. So it would be a mistake to extrapolate from the warnings into an expectation that the results will necessarily be poor.
Quote from: regan on May 21, 2011, 08:03:39 AM
Like others have said, it depends on what you expect to get out of surgery. The common concerns seem to be over the possible loss of orgasm, lack of depth, etc. It's surgery, there are risks, even death. And if you search the web you're likely to hear more horror stories of surgery failures then anything else, I would venture to say that becuase people that are satisfied to thrilled with the results don't take up as much space on the internet as people who aren't.
Ask people until you're blue in the face (assuming they're willing to talk about their experiences), heck ask to see the results if they're willing to go that far with it. The point is, see for yourself first hand what the post surgical results are like, not just what you read about on the internet. As for the rest of it, childbirth, etc yeah there are the limitations. But ask any cis-woman and pregnancy and childbirth is no fairytale either.
true, people do feel more adamant to say when something went wrong and tell the horror stories where as the success stories generally go unheard of. I'm basing my thoughts on what some girls have told me that had experienced but I knowledge the possibility I just happened to run into girls who are in the same support group of women who had bad SRS. I made this thread to express my opinions and concerns and hear opinions and facts from people who have underwent SRS and after reading much of these posts I'm starting to rethink the whole thing, while I still have the same concerns I'm also remembering not everything is perfect and if I am to undergo the treatment in the future to not worry so much and take it as it is rather than expect it to be so much more only to get let down.
Quote from: Valeriedances on May 21, 2011, 08:51:45 AM
An important part to consider is how many women have regrets.
I think anyone will be very hard pressed to find post surgery regrets on this forum (where people are free to say anything).
that is what I am finding, I'm just saying from girls I have talked to I seemed to run into horror story into horror story but now I know I needed to look at a larger demographic of women.
I think anyone will be very hard pressed to find post surgery regrets on this forum (where people are free to say anything).
Well there have been a few of late. And people who really regretted it would not last long on this board, the echo chamber effect would drown them out, I'm sure they are posting somewhere else.
I don't want to drag money into this, but "you get what you pay for" sometimes applies to even SRS. I'm aware there are skilled surgeons out there, but I firmly believe that the first attempt at a SRS can make or break it. You can't fix something that didn't go well, we only try to revise and repair it. I'm personally not happy with the current SRS options available today. I don't need to accept it the way it currently is, I can be stubborn like that... but sooner or later I'd have to go for it anyway. With that in mind, I plan to invest the best I can in my SRS so that I will not have any regrets like I let money or anything else get in my way. I want to give it the best effort that I can. Even if attempting a rather customized SRS procedure even if it costs over 120k. The more money you spend doesn't necessarily = better results, I think. At the very least it helps a surgeon give better attention.
Most bad SRS stories I've heard come form cheap or restrictive insurance funded surgeries. If you want something in life, you need to really try to get it by yourself, I believe you owe that to yourself. At least that's the philosophy I follow. Its better to settle for a high-quality designer dress that costs an arm and a leg than settle for something from the discount store. This is coming from a girl who earns only about $500/mo. sounds strange, right? but I believe I can realize my goals within the next two years. Anyone can achieve their goals if they think outside the box and put in their best effort.
But of course if they discover something better than a designer dress then I'll go for that. The truth is I would rather live a whole (wear something), than (nothing) wait around until I'm old tolerating someone who contributed to my being assigned the wrong gender. :D
Quote from: Valeriedances on May 21, 2011, 08:51:45 AM
on this forum (where people are free to say anything)
Say some things here and you will be violating the TOS.
I feel that there are some women who are displeased with their surgical outcome because it was not the panacea that they thought it would be, that it would solve all of life's many issues and prolems.
Some women may have thought that having the surgery would bring Prince or Princess charming into their life. Others may feel that having a vagina would stop them from being clocked. For others they may have believed that the GCS would remove employment or other societal dicriminations.
Realistically the afore-mentioned may not be positively impacted by the surgery.
Then we have the "->-bleeped-<-s" who have a vested interest in a woman remaining pre / non op. They are often quite vocal in their opinions about a woman not having surgery. They are often joined by a most unlikely ally, the pre / non op transwoman in their smear campaign.
Together they will trot out stories of post op women being more prone to post surgical regret, suicide, depression, psychosis, etc.. On some of the trans porn sites they will post photos of barely healed neo-vaginas, and proffer them as examples of GCS results.
Bottom line, I would be inclined to pursue the direction that regan has put forth, ask many women lots of questions, see the results for yourself firsthand, and then you may be able to make a more informed decision.
Quote
Ask people until you're blue in the face (assuming they're willing to talk about their experiences), heck ask to see the results if they're willing to go that far with it. The point is, see for yourself first hand what the post surgical results are like, not just what you read about on the internet. As for the rest of it, childbirth, etc yeah there are the limitations. But ask any cis-woman and pregnancy and childbirth is no fairytale either.
The procedures now are the best, for now. I personally will take what is out there rather than spend one more day in the the wrong form.
I have a surgeon in mind and will most likely go with him.
Quote from: girl_ashley on May 21, 2011, 12:39:16 PM
Say some things here and you will be violating the TOS.
Then just follow the TOS. Break them and you have to deal with the consequences.
Quote from: Janet Lynn on May 21, 2011, 01:27:15 PM
Then just follow the TOS. Break them and you have to deal with the consequences.
I most certainly didn't break them nor was I stating anything other than a fact.
Just stated a fact.
Kia Ora,
::) Now lets see ::) ::) ::) If I wasn't born with a vagina how on earth am I going to know how a vagina would feel to me??? "Different strokes for different folks!"
Metta Zenda :)
I suggest to anyone if you can live without it and be happy then you probably should. I couldn't. So if it comes to a choice of getting dead or opting for a constructed vagina, then I'll take surgery every time. And the thing is, as Valerie said, it IS a vagina. I've had guys with their face in mine and not have a clue I wasn't born with it. I have no visible external scars, and the emotional scars alone that having the surgery has healed were more than worth the pain and trouble of doing whatever it took to get it. Simply put, it might not be perfect, but it beats staring at the inside of a coffin lid.
I'm with you 110%, I'm just not happy with the current results, even the results from the "best surgeons" are mediocre at best. The introitus gapes, there isn't the normal pink color to the vaginal vault, and the labia minora are too thick. I may be too picky (I was diagnosed with OCD many years ago) but I think it is because of my medical prospective (I'm a Gyn Tech). Not to mention I went through a phase where I tried to convince myself I was a male by sleeping with lots of women. I know this may offend people here, but I have trouble believing these stories that "My Ob/Gyn couldn't tell." I started hormones 4 years ago, and planned to have surgery 2 years ago, and I still haven't, it isn't because I doubt myself (I've lived full time for over 3 years) or because I don't have the money, it is just that I'm not happy with the options out there. There have been a lot of advances in immune tolerance, for now I think I'm holding out for a transplant.
-Lef
Quote from: Moxie F. on May 21, 2011, 05:22:06 AM
I was talking to Viola in the chat and I said to her that I don't think I would do the current from of SRS. I've researched it and the current way of SRS and decided I just don't like the way it is done, it's not quite what I want. I guess it works for most people but I wouldn't settle for it just because it's the only option, I wouldn't get an outfit that I wasn't completely happy with just because it was the only option I had available so then why would I have SRS if I know I wouldn't be compliantly satisfied with the results. Not I am not knocking anyone who has gone through or is planning on going through the current SRS I'm just saying I know what I would want from SRS and it's currently not offered. Does any MTF's feel the same what that I do about the whole thing? I would love to hear everyones opinion about this.
To add one more thing, I've seen plenty of bad results from "great surgeons," that really concerns me.
-Lef
IF transplants happen it will probably be as a result of own tissue regeneration. The old donor methods of working are thankfully slowly going out of fashion as stem cell technology starts to yield results. That of course means that to get cross sex organs to grow you would also have to do some genetic manipulation - not impossible - but more tricky, and therefore likely not to happen in the first wave of developments. It might happen in the next century perhaps... if our technology survives that long after the oil runs out.
In any case, even if you used the old Frankenstein methods it isn't just tissue rejection you would have to solve, but nerve regeneration too, otherwise you would have a numb sexual organ, which belonged to someone else, and which you couldn't even feel. I mean EWWWWW! The thought of that really would make me ill! Current results may not be perfect but in my eyes they are infinitely less gross and disgusting than that situation.
So I fear you are almost certainly dooming yourself to die with male genitalia attached, something which I and many others would have found to be completely unacceptable when a compromise solution IS available. Yes it may not look perfect, but I've absolutely seen plenty of natal women who don't either. So I personally find your attitude rather odd. It is of course your life and your choice but to me it seems a very strange one which I simply don't understand at all. Does not compute sorry... I don't mean to be offensive.
SRS isn't perfect, but to me and others who feel as I do it is simply infinitely better than remaining needlessly of male physical sex. (ie possessing male genitals)
Quote from: leflauren678 on May 25, 2011, 12:52:26 AM
I know this may offend people here, but I have trouble believing these stories that "My Ob/Gyn couldn't tell."
You're not the only one who also has trouble believing that.
Quote from: leflauren678 on May 25, 2011, 12:52:26 AM
I know this may offend people here, but I have trouble believing these stories that "My Ob/Gyn couldn't tell."
Finally someone brave enough to say it! I'd be questioning any doctors credibility who says that they CAN'T TELL the difference. As for men? They'll say ANYTHING just to get laid.
Transplant is a great option, and its not really that ewww if it does work. If it doesn't then, yes it is ewww. I'd rather have the real thing than a scar tissue made-do. However, the reality of effective transplants is far off. I don't think there is any harm in getting the SRS as current advancements allow while waiting for transplant option. For transplant you will not need your current equipment anyway.
They don't seem to have any problem reattaching complex motor and sensory nerves to do hand transplants, I don't see why it would be a problem down there.
Quote from: rejennyrated on May 25, 2011, 03:24:47 AM
In any case, even if you used the old Frankenstein methods it isn't just tissue rejection you would have to solve, but nerve regeneration too, otherwise you would have a numb sexual organ, which belonged to someone else, and which you couldn't even feel. I mean EWWWWW! The thought of that really would make me ill! Current results may not be perfect but in my eyes they are infinitely less gross and disgusting than that situation.
Quote from: Valeriedances on May 21, 2011, 08:12:31 AM
I havent had a partner complain yet, either those I disclosed to or not. I didnt disclose to several and they seemed very content with my body. I'm so pleased with the outcome that I am going to not disclose any longer until it turns into a possible long term relationship.
I am not orgasmic yet, but believe its possible.
So, I dont feel like you do, sorry. I'm very happy with my decision. It IS a vagina. If you could touch, feel, smell, see one (that had a good result), see how wet they get, how silky they are, you might change your mind. The smile on my guys face last week during sex was priceless.
I couldnd put it better myself Valerie, my Fiancé had absolutely no idea mine wasn't my original equipment, when we got engaged I tolded Him, he's now my Husband, I was self conscious when we got married at first on my ability to satisfy Him as a woman, but Iv no fears, the way he looks at me, that smile and contented look on his face during and after sex, he certainly makes me feel like a beautiful woman and he's a well satisfied straight guy, its priceless to satisfy my Husband in that way.
Pauline
Quote from: glaze on May 27, 2011, 12:47:22 PM
Transplant is a great option, and its not really that ewww if it does work. If it doesn't then, yes it is ewww. I'd rather have the real thing than a scar tissue made-do. However, the reality of effective transplants is far off. I don't think there is any harm in getting the SRS as current advancements allow while waiting for transplant option. For transplant you will not need your current equipment anyway.
One of the Docs I work with was just talking about this the other day, if they are going to try a new drug for cancer, they are going to find the healthiest cancer patients to try it on, not someone who is Stage 3 or 4 or has diabetes. They want to get good results with the least complicated situation first, then they can push it and try more complicated patients. The same goes with surgery, you don't want to test out something knew when you have lots of scar tissue and nerves moved around.
-Lef
for me, I dont think i would be willing to compromise any more time than is absolutely necessary regarding surgery. personally, i think the current method of penile inversion is very adaquate.
I concur. I was so disgusted with my male genitalia that I would have settled for having them simply removed without constructing a vagina. Yes, life requires compromises and that was certainly one I was willing to make. I am not orgasmic (17 years after SRS; don't want to scare anyone but it is true) but I have never had any regrets. The sense of freedom I got (and still get) from finally getting rid of that thing down there was worth it.
The Siberian modified inversion technique interests me greatly. They use all of the original equipment, and boast clitoral and vaginal orgasm as a result. There are more methods out there if you look. I too used the all or nothing argument on myself; before I even came out. But, when asked one question, I found where my thoughts aligned: If you were to live where no one knew you, and all your personal relationships were a non-issue, how would you want to live? For me the answer was, as a woman.
I cried myself to sleep as a child for not being able to have babies, or periods, and felt cheated because of it. However, since I have come to understand that every post-op woman HAS given birth. They must use the same post-op care perscribed to women after vaginal birth. Who is brought into the world though, is their whole self. And, very often, very PMS-like, symptoms are experienced by those on hormones (especially depo) a week before the next dose. In this the results align today's post-opers much closer to that of a GG than ever before. I will take what I can, with as informed of a decision as possible, and make every effort to minimize settling from the options that are currently available. For, to me that is better than the alternative of inaction.
I feel that some people in this thread got a bit too worried about defending their choices to the OP. I can understand why, at times when people arrive at different conclusions to the same questions we had, especially something we have all thought about as much as SRS it can feed insecurity a bit and be a bit invalidating. This is normal just remember that what works for one doesn't work for another.
As has been said before, if you can be happy without SRS then great, there are risks and generally you shouldn't get any surgery you don't need. That being said, if you are holding out for a better method, you could be waiting for some time, while growing an ear on the back of a mouse is a cool trick, even if we had everything perfected with growing you your own parts, it would still take 20 years to get it all approved and have people doing it.
I had some similar thoughts as the OP when I first asked myself "what am I going to do about this?" but, I have realized that I am not getting any younger, and I am spending too much time as is just getting money so that I can do something about this, and I am a bit desperate to finish things before I am 30, so the current methods seem to be a pretty good compromise with thoughts like that in mind.
If anyone, M or F, is capable of living without SRS, I'm thrilled for you. Seriously. Genital surgery is no simple thing, and if you don't absolutely have to have it in order to truly live, I would say don't go through it until you absolutely need it.
From the M perspective, our surgeries are even less favorable than surgery for the ladies. But as someone who is now almost a year post-op, I will say that having the correct anatomy that works, even though small and not ideal, has had a huge impact on how I see myself and my confidence level. Just knowing the old stuff is long gone, and the new stuff is right, has been enough.
Do I still wish I had perfect anatomy? Of course. But at my age the options aren't going to get much better soon enough for me to benefit. This works, for me.
Jay
I just want to note that cis women's vaginas vary considerably and no two are alike. Men who have been around know this and mostly likely won't think or say anything. Really, there are so many different shapes, colors, and styles. Everything varies from the the size of the lips, to the size of the clit, tightness, color, etc. Also, women who have children may have had complications or scarring down there. There is no perfect pussy. Even the most porn worthy one gets tore up from childbirth.
There are several websites out there with pictures of cis women's vaginas and how much they vary if anyone's interested.
As to orgasm, a large percentage of cis women can't come from penetration alone. So, don't use that as a marker.
Quote from: Plain Jane on June 22, 2011, 04:13:33 AM
I concur. I was so disgusted with my male genitalia that I would have settled for having them simply removed without constructing a vagina. Yes, life requires compromises and that was certainly one I was willing to make. I am not orgasmic (17 years after SRS; don't want to scare anyone but it is true) but I have never had any regrets. The sense of freedom I got (and still get) from finally getting rid of that thing down there was worth it.
So true! I'd rather live with a not-so-perfect vagina than with the male genitalia. I just had surgery 6 weeks ago and indeed the sense of freedom and joy is so definitely worth going through the whole surgery thing!
Someone also said: I don't believe the my ob/gyn can't tell stories, well I do believe that most doctors can't really distinct between vaginas or neovaginas for that matter (given the surgery is performed by a competent doctor and no serious complications occurred). Of course some sort of internal exams and x-rays will always give you away. Boys don't really care I guess if they really take a close look at all. Like Kristyn said, they'll do anything to get laid LOL.. well I once read this quote saying that (from a man's perspective speaking) "it's always the girl to decide if a boy gets laid"... so we girls actually have an enormous power here...:P Okay, bottom line, most boys just don't really care about the looks of your vag.
To answer the question from topic starter, I once felt the same way, always thinking that techniques would improve and that I could have SRS with an improved technique. Then I also realised the clock is ticking away and having SRS early in life (24 yo) will give the best chance of being completely happy as a girl and young woman. So waiting for something (techniques improving) was not really an option, personally I just had to go for it and do not have any regrets. :) In fact I feel very confident that once healing has completed it will look quite normal down there :)
For myself, I will need something other than the normal penile inversion to become a normal woman with sufficient depth & girth. My sexual orientation is to men & always has been. I cannot imagine not being able to be with a normal size man after SRS. This is what I've always desired, just to be a normal complete woman. For now unsure of the best steps forward???
There are several websites out there with pictures of cis women's vaginas
Several? How 'bout millions? It's called porn.
Tekla, but are these porn vulvas shown (vagina is actually the inside only) in any way representable of the "average" female vulva? I'd say NO way. They to pretty for that, sorry.
It is why so many cis-females are now into vaginal-rejuvenation, the 2nd most sought after cosmetic surgery after BA.
Axelle
I'd say NO way.
Better check it out then. The huge explosion in porn was not created by the professional porn industry, but with the advent of extremely high quality cameras that are easy to operate and computer programs like Photoshop and editing software the really amazing thing is that it's largely become an amateur deal. The number of naked bodies on the web is truly staggering.
Quote from: Moxie F. on May 21, 2011, 05:22:06 AM
I wouldn't settle for it just because it's the only option, I wouldn't get an outfit that I wasn't completely happy with just because it was the only option I had available so then why would I have SRS if I know I wouldn't be compliantly satisfied with the results.
If I took that attitude about everything, I would never have done anything. I realize GRS is a big step and finding the right surgeon is important but waiting for a procedure to be perfect may result in never having the surgery. We don't get fully functioning female genitalia. We get a neo vagina that looks like a vagina and requires a lifetime of dilation to keep it from closing up. I don't see modern medicine working on anything better right now or in the near future.
Regardless of how long you wait, you will never be guaranteed you'll have exactly what you want unless you expect nothing more than the least everyone got. Every surgery has different results, even with the same surgeon. That's because we are all different and that's not going to change, ever.
Quote from: Valeriedances on July 25, 2011, 06:36:53 AM
Normal or average size isnt a problem (for me), but large size is. Normal size feels wonderful while large is quite painful to impossible. Forget very large. So size is a factor in choosing which partners I am compatible with. Is this as much of a concern for natal women, I dont know. My vagina is tight, I will usually try to dilate before a date. Anyway, I've stopped dating men so its not a concern for me now. Thought it might be helpful to pass the experience along.
Valerie, You look so nice & happy. Can I ask why you stopped dating men?? What happened?
I'm wondering if the OP has seen a port op vagina up close.
I'm sorry but I have, mine. I have also been with males & females, none have picked it up.
From what I've seen of vaginas, I'm yet to ever see 2 look the same, just like boobs, women & men, they come in all shapes & sizes.
I'm not sure of the problem you have posted??
With penile inversion I/we can have a nice as normal & deep as possible vagina. We can make love with a man & maybe we can have an orgasim. How could life be any better?
Quote from: Valeriedances on July 25, 2011, 09:31:48 PM
Thank you Francis, your a dear. I have just been so disappointed, unfortunately. I've had my heart broken by guys I've fallen hard for in the past year who've either wanted sex and moved on or rejected me hard on coming out to them, and it just hurts too much (I've learned not to tell). I havent given up on them forever, I still get crushes ...but somehow they always seem to be the unavailable ones who arent looking for a steady girlfriend. The ones that are available I havent been interested in.
I think part of the problem is I'm so scared of them. I like strong masculine men, but it's those same types I'm afraid of. Some of the guys I've liked the most I run away from after finding their violent tendencies or violent past. I'm attracted to dangerous men, but thats naturally terrifying... especially with our past.
Valerie, Girl, dangerous men are not worth it. There are plenty of good men out there that need a woman to be with. I'm not yet complete however I've dated & been with lots of men. There are so many that are horny for sex & a woman that cares about making them happy. The phrase you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince is kind of my motto. You are beautiful & you deserve a real sincere man not trouble.
There are plenty of folks with successful relationships. I plan to be one of them, I do have hope. I just have to work out some things.
Val,
You seem so nice, beautiful & so normal & even though I do not know you much I truly hope you can find love in your life with a nice man if that is what is good for you at your current time in life.
On a lighter side as they say "you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince"
I've kissed my share of frogs & I guess unfortunately you have likewise.
Maybe I'm sorry to act like a mother but I do can about my fellow girlfriends.
Love to you & have fun.
Francis,
While we are on this topic. Growing up I was so conflicted with myself and basically a-sexual that I never learned the dating thing. So now at the age of 43 I am too socially inept to find a male friend. I would like to, but don't know how. My social circle is pretty much fixed (and don't get me wrong, I am happy with my circle of friends and acquaintances). Let's say I lead a somewhat sheltered life in that respect.
Quote from: Plain Jane on August 01, 2011, 11:25:22 AM
While we are on this topic. Growing up I was so conflicted with myself and basically a-sexual that I never learned the dating thing. So now at the age of 43 I am too socially inept to find a male friend. I would like to, but don't know how. My social circle is pretty much fixed (and don't get me wrong, I am happy with my circle of friends and acquaintances). Let's say I lead a somewhat sheltered life in that respect.
Just be yourself...