Hey guys, I just started presenting as male and it feels awesome, but there are places when people know me female like college etc. When I'm at school I wear my old clothes so no one could see any changes, and when I'm free I'm trying to pass which is  quite succesfull as I see. Sometimes I feel like I have 2 personality and it's driving me crazy. I mean I feel awful those days when i can't be myself. Did any of You experience this? Or did You do that, changing your look day by day?

 I didn't technically go to an all women's college, but most of the classes I had were all women. I think the biggest thing is just wearing what makes you comfortable. Wearing clothes just in an attempt to pass can be depressing, especially when you don't pass after all that effort. I just wore the men's clothes I liked, that made me feel like my body looked more male, that I felt would be "my style" if I was a cisguy. It gave me a confidence that made up for some of my physical "shortcomings" moreso than wearing any particular type of clothing.

As far as I remember ( though it was years ago ) I began by wearing girls clothes that could easily be unisex or that I could wear in a boyish fashion. Then I just added bits until eventually it was all guy clothes. I don't remember anyone even mentioning it. I didn't really have a plan or anything though it I was just going at my own pace.

I sort of do this. In the summer months when I only had a crappy stifling binder I simply couldn't cope wearing it for work or down the gym, so I just wore a bra.

It's crazy how differently social interactions can be between gender presentations. When people think I'm a girl, women especially, they treat me very differently and I have to react differently in return. If I had a penny for every time someone at work has gone into a spiel of "men never do anything right" I'd be a billionaire. They like to treat me as one of them and include me in the "men are useless" conversations and it makes me so uncomfortable.

The latest thing at work is one of my bosses telling me that I should have another baby

I really should come out to them all, especially now I'm on T, but I feel like I'm in too deep now xD

Quote from: Jeatyn on September 18, 2012, 02:56:47 PM
It's crazy how differently social interactions can be between gender presentations. When people think I'm a girl, women especially, they treat me very differently and I have to react differently in return. If I had a penny for every time someone at work has gone into a spiel of "men never do anything right" I'd be a billionaire. They like to treat me as one of them and include me in the "men are useless" conversations and it makes me so uncomfortable.

That's for sure. I went to college when nobody know I was trans and on the way I was treated so different.

@edderkopp: I don't wear men's clothes JUST in attempt to pass but it makes me feel comfortable. For me depressing is when I have to change back to my "girl look". I also wear the style which would be mine if I was born a guy. 
I only wore unisex clothes before so I'm thinking on leaving them behind and wear what I really want, as Tom said I hope no one will mention it.

Thanks for helping me figuring this out.

When I started at my old school I had a random mixture of fairly andro female clothes and some male clothes which I just chucked on without really thinking about it.  Then I went through a phase of trying to fit in more, had a female haircut instead of just tying my hair back practically, got a boyfriend and tried to be a girl like the rest of them.  (It's probably worth pointing out that I was 12 and thought that I just didn't fit in with girls because my background was pretty different as my parents didn't give a toss about fashion and shopped for practical clothes only out of charity shops and their parents turned up in expensive tweed jackets and fur coats.  I thought I was just more sensible and grown up for not caring about girls clothes and they were air-headed rich kids, instead of realising that I didn't care because I was male.)  That phase stopped pretty quickly, but because I've not really grown since then all the clothes still fitted me, but since I've worked out I'm trans I chucked them away and no one's ever really commented.  If they ever did I just went on a rant about how female trousers are useless and don't have big/enough pockets thus there's no point to them.

I've since gone up to college and if people realise I'm female there all they've ever known is this hyper butch lesbian who wears mens clothes that are several sizes too big half the time.

Quote from: Jared on September 18, 2012, 03:31:59 PM
@edderkopp: I don't wear men's clothes JUST in attempt to pass but it makes me feel comfortable. For me depressing is when I have to change back to my "girl look". I also wear the style which would be mine if I was born a guy. 
I only wore unisex clothes before so I'm thinking on leaving them behind and wear what I really want, as Tom said I hope no one will mention it.

Ah, sorry, I completely misunderstood your post.

I'm in a jam with loan debt, and my parents offered to come live with them in their comfy middle class lifestyle with the condition that I dress as a girl. So yeah, I definitely feel quite odd when having to wear boobs over a binder- but other than that, nothing much has changed. I still wear the same hoodies and tshirts I wore when I was living as I pleased. It's annoying at times, but I dress as I want when I'm alone. If distant relatives come by or we go see them, that's when it's the hardest on me, cause then I can't take the damn things off. There's some odd social pressure among the families to have the best "normal"  kid.

I've just found I feel best if I present in a totally male way. OTOH, I haven't quite figured out how to get pants that fit, so some of them do and some of them not so much. Around the house, I wear androgynous very loose women's pants (I'm stuck with the fact that they actually fit me better) and t-shirts. I normally wear button down shirts out. I've found that if I wear them with a muscle shirt they hide my moobs pretty well. I hate binders with a passion. I also always wear a hat (except at work) as it makes me feel more male. I stopped wearing women's underwear at all.

All this was a bit gradual-- adding the button down shirt, stopping wearing a purse, wearing keys on a key fob, etc. I suppose the hat was first and the underwear kind of last.
I didn't go into this intending on wearing all men's clothes but it happened. Btw, the top clothes were inexpensive thrift store stuff-- the hat and underwear that cost more.

I just got my first really male haircut, though most of my hair cuts in the past years could be something a guy would wear.


--Jay Jay

I just gradually changed clothes and the styles I wore. I still have "girl" socks and "women's" underwear because I just haven't phased them out. (Partially because they were fine, partially because I am losing weight, and mostly because I am horribly cheap). But, I would just slowly start incorporating different looks into your daily style if it makes you feel better. Doing it gradually also makes it seem less drastic those around you and most likely, they won't notice. No one in my last semester of college even batted an eye when I, at the end of the semester and at graduation, was wearing just men's clothes, binding and had short hair. Believe it or not, very few people actually notice clothing changes in others, especially if it is slow.

Quote from: edderkopp on September 18, 2012, 05:45:07 PM
Ah, sorry, I completely misunderstood your post.

Well I'm not surprised, my english is not the best 

@Alex: I've also had this period in my life what you're talking about. In middle school most kids don't like those who are different in any kind of things. And maybe at the beginning of high school.

Most of my pants are hard to tell if it's male or female, I just got some t-shirts and a binder. And short haircut again. Thanks everyone for the notices, I try to do it gradually. I guess my biggest problem is that I worry too much about what people will say or think. I should stop it.

Never, I always look the same regardless of where I am going. If people ask me, I give them evasive answers because as a general rule the only people who have asked me did it as though they were attempting to challenge me, as though my appearance is their say somehow. That doesn't fly with me. My family is rude and I can't stand the way they try to suppress who I am even though I am a self-sufficient adult.

I spent a year or so switching between male and female presentations. I didn't actually change my clothes much - I always wore clothes that a girl or boy would be comfortable in - but I wore a binder or not depending on how I was presenting, and my behavior was slightly different from girl to boy mode. It was frustrating and it often made me sad to "correct" people when they thought I was a boy but I was trying to be a girl, or vice versa.

I feel a lot better and more whole now that I can dress and act the same way all the time.

This was a lil different for me because i dressed as male since i was old enough to talk, so age three. i had a couple girl items that my mom made me have for like church or other events. the day i came out i just threw that stuff out and it felt so good.

I started wearing what many of the guys at my college were wearing.  After about a year that was all I was wearing.  Unless I wear a real lose shirt or hoodie I need a binder to look flat enough to be considered a guy.  In the colder months I wear mostly sports bras more comfortable and I am still flat enough.  All my underware is now guys boxers mostly do have a couple of pair of briefs.  Being a poor college guy I woreout my previous ones before buying the guy's type.

Hm I'm in the situation that You was/are Michael Joseph. I only had the period what Alex had talking about. Around 16-18. Now I've just had enough of fitting in as a girl.