Although I think of Wikipedia as Wikiwhatever, it does come with some interesting references that are helpful.
This is just an overview, of something that is real, yet hard to express.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depersonalization_disorderDepersonalization and meditationThe outcome of one study on meditation and depersonalization concluded the following
Meditation can sometimes lead to the experience of depersonalization
The meditator's understanding and meaning regarding the experience of depersonalization will greatly determine whether anxiety is present as part of the experience
A meditator who interprets depersonalization with catastrophic interpretations will likely experience significate panic/anxiety
The meditator's social or occupational functioning as a result of depersonalization need not have significant anxiety or impairment
The meditator's depersonalized state can become a permanent mode of functioning
People who wish to reduce Depersonalization Disorder may be treated by changing the meanings associated with depersonalization in the mind of the patient, thereby reducing anxiety and functional impairment[46]
(This is the next part, I find it interesting, in the context of this thread) 
In Buddhism, the term anattā (Pāli) or anātman (Sanskrit: अनात्मन्) refers to the notion of "not-self" or the illusion of "self". It is one of the three attributes of the Three marks of existence along with impermanence (anicca) and suffering or unsatisfactoriness (dukkha). The basic idea of no self is that there is no permanent, separate self. Everything is impermanent and therefore the sense of self is changing at each moment. The transitory sensations that make up the impression of the world and existence occur but when trying to pinpoint what is experiencing these sensations whether body, brain, mind, or thoughts all seem to be transitory as well.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dissociative_identity_disorderThe International Society for the Study of Trauma and Dissociation has published guidelines to phase-oriented treatment in adults as well as children and adolescents that are widely used in the field of DID treatment.[non-primary source needed][7] The first phase of therapy focuses on symptoms and relieving the distressing aspects of the condition, ensuring the safety of the individual, improving the patient's capacity to form and maintain healthy relationships, and improving general daily life functioning. Co-morbid disorders such as substance abuse and eating disorders are addressed in this phase of treatment.[7] The second phase focuses on stepwise exposure to traumatic memories and prevention of re-dissociation. The final phase focuses on reconnecting the identities of disparate alters into a single functioning identity with all its memories and experiences intact.[7]
A study was conducted with the goal of developing an "expertise-based prognostic model for the treatment of complex posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and dissociative identity disorder (DID)." Researchers constructed a two-stage survey and factor analyses performed on the survey elements found 51 factors common to complex PTSD and DID. The authors concluded from their findings: "The model is supportive of the current phase-oriented treatment model, emphasizing the strengthening of the therapeutic relationship and the patient's resources in the initial stabilization phase. Further research is needed to test the model's statistical and clinical validity."[51]
PrognosisThe prognosis of untreated DID is not well known.[6] It rarely if ever goes away without treatment[4][17] but symptoms may resolve from time to time[4] or wax and wane spontaneously.[17] Patients with mainly dissociative and posttraumatic symptoms face a better prognosis than those with comorbid disorders or those still in contact with abusers, and the latter groups often face lengthier and more difficult treatment. Suicidal ideation, failed suicide attempts and self-harm also occur.[17] Duration of treatment can vary depending on patient goals, which can extend from elimination of all alters to merely reducing inter-alter amnesia, but generally takes years.[17]
It's a bitch, as it is hard to diagnose, and treatment is subjective to the degree of the disorder.
I do not recognize myself in a mirror, but I do seem familiar and realize that it is indeed me.

Klonopin works very well, Ativan works for the most severe symptoms of anxiety associated with it.

I also use Neurontin and Wellutrin XL.

It's how I chose the name Ativan Prescribed, after all.

Low dose HRT started with Spiro and it worked very well in stopping the aggression of myself that the other meds are for.
When I made the decision to also incorporate E, the result can only be described as
'smooth'.
Integrating a hypermasculine

and female identity

is difficult, but I have achieved it as I thought it would.

I think I might choose to legalize my name as Ativan Prescribed.

I found myself in a disorder, that now has some order to it.
It seems that total integration

may not be possible, but I am now me.
I have prevailed, despite the fact that reality is usually fluid and in flux.
My life goes on...
Ativan