I finally took a big step and came out to my mother last night. I decided to email her since the last time I wanted to come out to her I ended up unable to and in tears only. But I emailed her when I was still home during summer break from college, so that she could discuss it in person, which she did. Surprisingly she took it well being a very conservative Asian who has repeatedly made negative remarks about transgender related issues indirectly in the past. Well, it turns out that she took it better than expected simply because she found out last year that my brother is gay-I always thought so, but was never certain if he was until now. She still has very little understanding of the whole idea since she kept asking if I wanted to date men or women. But the bottom line is that she supports me and said she will do her own research to help her understand ->-bleeped-<-. I will be coming out to many more people now, since letting her know was the big barrier. Although she wants to keep it a secret from relatives right now and told me to never tell my grandmother about it (my grandmother is very traditionalist, but took care of my as a mother after the first few months of birth to my early teens). I do not know how that would work after many more months of hrt. Earlier today I allowed my sister to talk to my brother about this and now he knows too. Despite what she says, I know she really wanted me to be the golden child since I have the brains, the looks, the motivation, ect. to become her idea of the perfect successful man. Even thought it has been a relief telling her, my chest has a pain I believe from letting down her expectations. Also last night I woke myself up crying. Is it normal to feel relief from keeping it in, but pain from letting it out?
