Hey all I'm new here but wanted to jump right in with something that's bugging me hope that's ok.
I am finally starting Testosterone hopefully by next month but I just I don't feel as excited as I think I should.

I mean don't get me wrong 95% of me is ecstatic but there is a small bit of me that's, well scared.

Anyone else get this? I am not doubting my decision at all and I know transitioning is the right path for me I just didn't expect to be scared of starting t when I've spent so so many years getting to it

Just wondering how others felt about it and if there is anyone here at the same stage and about to start it

Cheers for reading

I totally get it. I have maybe been aware I am trans for about 5 months (many things about it show that I was trans all my life but awareness is another thing). I have totally been pokey about this. But you know there is no race and this is your own journey. There are some people who seemingly go into transition and everything is very fast and others who seem like they are on the slow train.
One of the trans guys at the agency I go to had his prescription for quite awhile before he filled it and even then didn't take it quite awhile.

--Jay J

Hey thanks that helps to read like I think that although the wait has been years eventually ill be greatfull that mine seems one of the slower rides ")

I totally get it.  I was a little nervous right before I started T.  I knew it was the right thing, but the thought of making what was probably the biggest decision of my life was a little scary.   

Congrats...I'm happy for you! :eusahttps://www.susans.org/forums/Smileys/susans/eusa_clap.gif_clap:

Of course. Starting HRT, like any medication, is something that is rather serious. You are starting a process that will affect you physically, mentally, socially and personally. It is totally normal to have some concern over it. If you don't feel ready or sure, then do not get on HRT. If you feel sure, but have a little worry over it, I think that is pretty normal. I did until I had my first shot, then it was pretty much a week of bouts of hysterically happy giggling.

To be frank, its a band-aid. You just need to rip it off.

In other words... once the first dose is in, you will feel differently and because there at that point is in fact no point at all in worrying whatsoever about it anymore. Its the 'unknown' that you are stressing over right now, trust me I know. That's all it is and I'd think it abnormal if you WEREN'T going through it like the rest of us did.

The 'Androgen euphoria' does wonders to clear up the lingering bit of anxiety as well.

Things you didn't understand before become crystal clear and it's awesome. Its not all roses, but the benefits far outweigh the minor annoyances (e.g. feeling like you've been steamrolled over on from the muscles and ligaments bulking up and stretching out etc).

Meantime, you just need to find some distractions. Video games, books, movies. Whatever. Find something to do to take your mind off of it. It'll drive you nuts thinking about it with nothing to do.

That all stated, I will caution you that if you're not going to do the 'low-dose' option to start with on the T, changes happen very quickly. My Endo decided to just start me off on what we'll term 'comparable to normal male level' T straight off and my voice wasn't the same as early as the next morning. So just something to think about. Some like the changes to happen as quick as possible (that's me). Some prefer them slowly, 'low-dosers'.

So this is a very big decision and I'd personally think you barking mad NOT to have some anxieties about it. Nothing to be ashamed of. A bit of fear is not only normal, its healthy. Its there for a reason.

Thanks all. Today I rang my gender clinic to see when a outs my g.p would receive the 'ok to start t' letter. When I was told by the end of this week my reaction told me all I need to know. I was /am so happy. I think defnatly fear of the unknown plays a part but however scary I do know its got to be better than the lie I've felt forced to live for so many years.

I know I'm starting on sustanon I don't know the dose yet but I believe it's the standard starting dose.

Thanks for all the input, really helped

Deciding to medically transition is a big decision and you know you're taking it seriously if you're a little scared. I was scared too when I started. I think it is actually a good thing. It's kind of like people getting scared on the night before their wedding. They're sure they want to marry their partner, but a life-long commitment is a little scary and makes them nervous. It's not just a transition thing. It's really anything to do with a major life decision.

Yeah that's very true I think I shall call it the pre T jitters 

I was scared before taking T.  I knew it's what I wanted, but I had many issues along with it. Sometimes now I don't know if I made the right decision or not and then sometimes, I know it had to be done in order to move on with my life.

It's totally normal to be nervous.  I had been trying for over a year to get on T, and when my doctor finally told me "Sure we'll start you next week" I started to get chills about it.  Magnus put it very well, that it's probably just fear of the unknown that's worrying you.

Be warned, when you get your first shot you'll feel an extreme rush.  Shaking hands and all that, at least that's how it was for me.  Keep a cigarette handy.

Quote from: Sly on September 25, 2012, 04:05:06 PM

Be warned, when you get your first shot you'll feel an extreme rush.  Shaking hands and all that, at least that's how it was for me.  Keep a cigarette handy.

Chew gum, increase exercise, etc instead?

--Jay J

actually i was the complete opposite, i get kinda jet lagged for a day or two after my shots