Being in boy mode and having to put up with guys vulgar sex talk.

This has always annoyed me and I've never really known how to deal with it except chuckling and nodding my head because frankly it just makes me uncomfortable. It's especially bad where I work where a majority of my co-workers are young men and these conversations almost always come up.

For example an attractive girl walks by they will come up and tell me what they would do to her followed by asking me "what would you do to that behind?" all I can say is...."uh..stuff" when really i'm thinking "I love her shoes"

Sometimes I have to pretend to look at women who walk by to keep up the show even though I have no interest just because all the guys are looking or make comments about a hot girl I saw.

Today a couple of guys I work with who are particularly insulting were talking about one of our female coworkers saying "she must be a really good lover if she has a boyfriend being as ugly as she is" and that talk really POs me off because shes a perfectly good looking girl and very nice and hearing them say stuff like that just really grinds my gears. Makes me worry about what they are going to say about me when I go full time.

Ugh I wish there was some way I could stick it to them but i'm not the confrontational type.

I usually do this:

Inside Homers brain

That's terrible! I don't think you have to stick it to them though. I think that when you're going though transition the best thing you can do with ignorant people is to try and ignore them and take care of yourself. It's okay to not confront, but that doesn't mean you have to engage.
At the same time, there's no reason that you have to keep up the act with them. Those sorts of comments are used to objectify and oppress women (and in fact they very well might try to objectify and oppress you when you go full time), and it's okay to not take part in it even though they think you're a guy.

Having lived as a female and dealing with catcalls from straight guys, it really gets to me too.  I just wanna tell them, "Y'know, that's a human being, not just something you can screw."

I totally understand. I hate having to be around guys and hear the way they talk. Most of them have learned that I don't talk like that, nor do I like to hear it. Out of respect, they try to watch their language...try.

One of the reasons why I became a bit of a loner during the end of my elementary school/highschool years.  It was always the same BS and crap and argghhdshufsudifhsdifhsdiuhfsdiuhfsd.  It annoyed me, not as a girl but as a living breathing human being.

My parents were really awesome and raised me better.

Young guys I can almost understand. The world is their apple. All that Testosterone. What really irks me is the 40+ crowd, wife, kids, and still sounding like a bunch of h/s kids. Makes me hate being born a guy even more

I just shrugged at them, rolled my eyes and went blah... but if you do that they're gonna think you're a gay male, dunno if that's okay with you or not. Now I don't hear it as much because I don't hang out with the same guys I knew pre transition... but when I do hear it around me, I just give them that "That's disgusting" face. They don't keep it up after that but if they did I'd give ask them, "excuse me... please change subjects!" After that the preaching / bitching would start.

Nodding my head and going along with it has always just been one of my long time defensive measures towards hiding my true self from the world. These things were sort of acquired way of dealing with uncomfortable things about having to play a guy for so long.

I'm sure when i'm full time they will be less inclined to bring up those subjects around me and I wont have to hide anymore.

Until then ill just have to bite the bullet 

For obvious reasons I was never one of those guys, and when I'm around guys doing that its one of the few time I get real quiet and focus on other things.
You can imagine being in the Harley motorcycle world what it must get like sometimes...ugh

I get a little be more offensive about such injustices.  Whether it be against females, gay/les/bi, religion, anything.  Not a single person on this earth has any right to lash out against any group of people. 

I used to have co-workers like that too, a long time ago and I was still in boy-mode back then. I just let them know that I wasn't interested in their vulgar talk because well I really wasn't interested in their vulgar talk. Just like I wasn't interested in sports or car talk. I never got angry but I'd just yawn or look really bored. They accepted it without treating me as outcast or gay or whatever and it turned out that they actually were able to talk about other subjects, especially one-on-one. It seemed like they respected me for having my own opinion or something. I was different anyway because I was punk-ish (great excuse to use make-up and have longer hair lol and wear skinny jeans and long tops) and a vegetarian. I think they had a hard time figuring me out hehe. They all knew that I got along very well with women so they may have been jealous lol. Also in school guys wanted to hang out with me probable because I was always surrounded by women. It's funny now that I think about it. Just be yourself.

I hated it, but I never had the guts to say anything other than a grunt. A grunt to let them know I was not any different. Ugh I hate myself for that. >_< what really kills me is all the LOL that is so gay man crap that was often spewed by my "friends".

*hangs her head in shame for grunting as a pseudo male*

I never liked the degrading comments some guys would make about women back in the day, but for some reason they don't make such comments when I'm around anymore    I wonder why?

Would it help to realize the reason why these brutes do that is that deep down they're terrified at the power women and sexual attraction have over them? They have to minimize women, and degrade women to avoid facing their strong feelings of attraction.

Quote from: V M on September 29, 2012, 03:51:10 AM
I never liked the degrading comments some guys would make about women back in the day, but for some reason they don't make such comments when I'm around anymore    I wonder why?

I work with a late 20's female engineer around this bunch of stuck in h/s guys. Her being in the room does not slow them down much. 

As a guy, I used to admit "she is kinda cute." Mainly in the .mil I heard such language...I was much more the quiet observer type, and their conversations got me thinking...

They'd talk about their "ideal" wife/gf, and expound on how big her boobs would have to be, whether she liked the "back door", how great a cook she is, etc. and I used to think, "Is that all that's important to these guys? What's important to me?...breasts don't matter, looks don't matter (well...maybe a little, she couldn't be butt-ugly), etc..."

Those kinds of conversations made me realize a "good" woman is what makes your heart feel good...all women have fundamentally the same "equipment", so that is a detail that is not important in the least, and not worth my time to dwell on, much less publicize "what I'd do to that ass."

That said, I'm in the process of getting a divorce...because my ex- no longer makes my heart feel good, and the feeling is mutual. At least we're still friends, more or less.

I've known various groups of women, who while never cat-calling men in public, had ongoing private conversations that were much more detailed, much more specific and a hella lot more vulgar.

I was having a particularly dysphoric moment years ago when a  guy I worked with came up to me and started with "you don't go after women do you?"

I have no idea what the look was that I gave him was, but he back peddled and then said "no, that's not what I mean. I mean, you look like the kinda guy that women approach and go after. How do you do that?"

FML.

First, scrub the word 'player' off your forehead...

Quote from: Abracadabra on September 29, 2012, 09:23:19 AM
All that I get are some wolf-whistles and frankly, I don't mind.

What is worse... being whistled at (as a girl) --- or NOT being whistled at?!
I think the latter.

In any case it's mostly frustrated Testosterone speaking - show some compassion, or try just not to hear what is being said, um?
It's what ladies do

Wise words indeed. While I believe in the code of chivalry, I wouldn't want a PERFECT gentleman. A whistle or nice compliment would always be appreciated.

Quote from: tekla on September 29, 2012, 10:21:04 AM
I've known various groups of women, who while never cat-calling men in public, had ongoing private conversations that were much more detailed, much more specific and a hella lot more vulgar.

Oh, tell me about it. I always go into detail about what I would like for a man to do to me, but I digress.