So I started on a new school after this summer (that's how the school system in my country works) and have been 'out' the whole time.
First I thought it was great. Other than a few teachers everyone calls me Jeremy. One of my teachers even apologised when she found out I was a guy because she thought that I said I wanted to be called a feminine form for Jeremy (whatever that was).
Now that we got all the good things out of the way I wanted to talk about the bad ones:

Ok as I said not everyone calls me me my name. That includes two teachers I haven't said anything to so I don't blame them. But there is this one teacher that don't want to call me my name. He says it's because he doesn't want to remember two names. The conversation went something like this:
Me: Can you please call me Jeremy I don't like you using that name.
Him: No, I don't want to remember two names.
Me: But I will change my name vary soon. You might as well just use it.

He didn't say more to that. I think it's because I had a point there. As I said: it's ok that the other don't use my name because they don't know better, but every time this guy uses my birth name it makes me shiver. I don't want to say anything in my class because of him. I'm not sure what I should do about this.
But wait. There is more.
Everyone still uses female pronouns about me. I (because I have faced this in 16 years now) don't correct anyone using the wrong pronouns (all my friends however does that. It's great to have friends that view you as a guy), but when they say Jeremy and she about me I just want to hit them or something. Not because it hurts (it does, but for some reason I don't want to correct them because I'm pre-T. I know that is a stupid reason.), but because It's so grammatically incorrect to use a masculine name and female pronouns.
Now let's continue.
I remember when one of my classmates at my school called me a girl (or something like that I can't remember) I said I was a guy (because putting me in a females box is even worse than wrong pronouns). Then he asks me about when the operation would be. I asked him why he wanted to know such a personal question. He said he was just curious. I asked him to use his brain and walked away from him. This had happened two times now (not the same person thought) and the question pisses me of. When they put me in the female box I call them out, but then they just say it's hard. I mean come on. I know I don't pass that good, but I can get somewhat away with being a pre-puberty boy. They have never know me as anything other than my birth name was female.
And now that you have gotten all the background I want to tell what I really wanted to tell (the background was important too)
Ok I'm in the class where the stupid teacher (I don't know what else to call him) teaches. I do something stupid (I know, I should maybe not have done that anyway). I was vary quietly dancing caramelldansen (as I said stupid). Then he said: "Girl, sit down."
I reacted, but quickly asked who he was talking about as a serious "help me guys!" to my classmates. Of cause no one supported me in this matter and one of my class-mates asked me to sit down (in a stop pretending you are a boy just do what he says way). Because of his massive disrespect I just don't care about him or his lessons any more. The last hour or so I totally ignored him and just thought about the fact that no one helped me. The only thing I could think of was that they just think of me as a girl and nothing more. That really hit me hard. The fact that they put me in female boxes, used female pronouns, asked about genitals all of that was because they still view me as a girl. So now I don't want to go to school. It's a week ago.

I don't know what to do now. I really hate school because of this and every time they use female pronouns or something like that I think of that. Please help! I have no idea what to do!

Wow, that sucks.  The only thing I can suggest is be firm about your identity and how you want to be addressed, and if people are asking you questions tell them you don't need to justify yourself to them, and if they're really curious they can do their own research.  Stand up for yourself, people will respect you for it.

Does the place you live have anti-discrimination laws for gender identity?  If yes, maybe take this to the higher-ups at your school.

It sounds like you've only told people to call you by a different, albeit masculine, name. If you won't correct them from using the wrong pronouns, they won't know they're doing anything wrong. People will not connect the dots on their own, no matter how obvious the situation seems to you. This is out of the scope of most people's thoughts and experiences. Also, I don't think the guy who asked about your operation was really in the wrong, it sure is a sucky question but it sounds like he was being understanding rather than challenging you on your assertion. That to me is really impressive for a teenager. You're 16, you will not find any peers that are at all enlightened about transgender issues unless, unfortunately, you educate them. Personally I wouldn't want to do that, so you can go Sly's route and tell them to do their own research. But, I wouldn't do it rudely. That's not going to get anyone on your side. I'd only be rude if they initiated that tone.

Thanks for the reply.
There are no laws for transsexual people in Denmark so that's no option.
Tvc15: as I wrote in op I do correct people if the call me a girl or set's me in the female box. The problem with correcting people when they use female pronouns is I have to correct them all the time. Not sure people will be to found of that (especially the teacher.)
I also have tried to educate people on the matter. It really hurts that they do not seem that accepting even when I back my claims up with scientific data.

talk too your guidance councilor they can go a long was in helping you get teachers to do what you want. also i know your pain i had a teacher who didnt refuse to call me by my name so all i had was circumstantial evidence that she was a total B word but you dont spend half the year 'trying' then make a downward spiraal in the second half and say 'you are such a good young woman' and 'good girl' to me in front of the entire class. this is what started my anxiety attacks and stopped me from coming to school.

I think you should take your concern directly to the principle or vice-principle of the school (or whatever equivalent you have where you're from).  Administrators are getting more and more aware of the need for teenagers to assert there identities and the damages of not recognizing that identity and supporting those individuals constructively.  I wouldn't just go in there and demand things.  Express yourself clearly and provide them educational material on GID and Trans people that is relevant.

When you're fighting authority your going to lose if you're a lone voice.  You need to be smarter than they are and get their supervisors on your side.  If you make an honest plea for their support you have a better chance than just trying to fight a teacher that doesn't respect your gender identity (and they likely have reasons for that that have nothing to do with you - just personal bias or experience of theirs).  With the administrators on your side they can take action against that teacher if he continues to disrespect and ignore your gender expression.

It sounds like most people are trying to accept and understand you.  Rather than think the worst of them, try to educate them on GID and what it means to be Trans.  Treat them with respect and point them in the direction of enlightenment.

Good luck!

- Sage

First off your teacher is a douche.  He has no right to disrespect you or to rile up the whole class.  You should feel free to disrespect him, you have to give it to get it and then guy certainly hasn't earned any!  Work on your comebacks kiddo.  Next time he starts off on something refer to him as "Miss" and ask him if his panties are riding up his crack or something because no sensible person would behave like this.  Heck, next time he does that you really should speak up ... "What, did your mom catch you wearing her bra and panties again Miss So-And-So?  Is that why you're being such an ass to me?  Better yet closet case, instead of taunting me why don't you teach us something since that's what you're here for?"

Next time one of those students asks you for help in that class, don't give it to them.  "Why don't you ask Miss So-and-So if she could stop adjusting her tampon and help you?"

If you haven't notified your parents of this inappropriate behavior, you should.  Your parents need to immediately bring this to the attention of the administration.  Also, if might be a good thing if one of your parents sought out this teacher and exchanged a few very stern words.  "You ever talk to my child like that again we're going to have a big ->-bleeped-<-ing problem."  Sometimes I use these opportunities to take an aggressive step towards them to make my point even more clear, bonus points if the douche flinches and steps back out of fear! 

Normally I wouldn't recommend this, but feel free to put some thumb tacks in his chair later towards the end of the school year.

Quote from: Ep on September 29, 2012, 04:43:06 PM
First off your teacher is a douche.  He has no right to disrespect you or to rile up the whole class.  You should feel free to disrespect him, you have to give it to get it and then guy certainly hasn't earned any!  Work on your comebacks kiddo.  Next time he starts off on something refer to him as "Miss" and ask him if his panties are riding up his crack or something because no sensible person would behave like this.  Heck, next time he does that you really should speak up ... "What, did your mom catch you wearing her bra and panties again Miss So-And-So?  Is that why you're being such an ass to me?  Better yet closet case, instead of taunting me why don't you teach us something since that's what you're here for?"

In the U.S., at least, this sort of behavior tends to earn the student a quick trip to the principal's office, even if the teacher is being an idiot.

Quote from: Arch on September 29, 2012, 04:48:07 PM
In the U.S., at least, this sort of behavior tends to earn the student a quick trip to the principal's office, even if the teacher is being an idiot.

It may or may not, the teacher very well could see that despite the student acting disruptive it's because of him.  Hopefully the kids parents are on board too with this.  It's one thing if he's just being disruptive to be disruptive, it's another if he's being harassed, humiliated, belittled, taunted and dehumanized by the adult in charge.  The teacher should have never crossed that line, but now that he has the OP has every right to maintain their dignity even at the expense of the teachers.  Personally though, I don't take crap from people like that but I make damn sure I'm in the right before I run my own mouth.  It's one thing if they're just being stupid to be stupid on one occasion, it's another if they're going out of their way almost daily.  Sometimes people just need a taste of their own medicine.  If it's perfectly all right for the teacher to act this way, then the student has every right to reciprocate.  There's nothing wrong with standing up for yourself and there's especially nothing wrong with shoving someone back sometimes.  It's really a matter of gauging how hard to push back. 

Personally though, this stuff just makes me mad Arch.  These type of people shouldn't be anywhere near children.  The type of environment the teacher has created is not a safe learning environment for the OP, if anything he has created an unsafe situation that makes the OP not only vulnerable to verbal insults but possible physical altercations.  Now the teacher and kids are asking him about his genitals, what's next?  They pull his pants down to see?  I don't think a parent chewing this guy would will do anything, now pressing assault charges on behalf of their minor son would.  You don't do crap like this and you especially don't do it to children.

Quote from: Ep on September 29, 2012, 05:34:16 PM
There's nothing wrong with standing up for yourself and there's especially nothing wrong with shoving someone back sometimes.  It's really a matter of gauging how hard to push back. 

Personally though, this stuff just makes me mad Arch.  These type of people shouldn't be anywhere near children.  The type of environment the teacher has created is not a safe learning environment for the OP, if anything he has created an unsafe situation that makes the OP not only vulnerable to verbal insults but possible physical altercations.  Now the teacher and kids are asking him about his genitals, what's next?  They pull his pants down to see?  I don't think a parent chewing this guy would will do anything, now pressing assault charges on behalf of their minor son would.  You don't do crap like this and you especially don't do it to children.

I completely agree with this. Children are perfectly capable of making their own minds up about these things, but all it takes is a gentle push from an adult (or anyone in a possition of power) to turn them from accepting, to a real piece of trans-phobic work.

I think Ep's examples were very extreme, but the basic idea of fighting back in an important one. It's not at all trans-related, but when I was in college I had a substitute teacher verbally abuse me in front of a class because of my lip piercing, saying things like 'That looks disgusting' and 'It looks like you have a fish-hook stuck in your lip'. I stood up after taking it, and very calmly told him that I was an adult, and that I didn't have to sit in a class and be disrepected in front of my peers. I told him I was leaving, and calmly grabbed my stuff and left. I then went to the head of our English department and told her that I had been verbally abused by the sub, and that I would not be attending the rest of the class.

He was given a written warning, and never took over a class I was in again.

I think sinking to the teacher's level is a bad way to go, but that the OP should absolutely stand up for himself in that kind of environment. Before I stood up my class-mates were snickering quietly, but after that class I was a legend among my peers for not taking any ->-bleeped-<-. :{P

This isn't an argument or situation that you're going to win by stooping to his level.  Rise above it.  I'm not saying do nothing, I'm saying act with more respect than he's showing you and bring it to the attention of those he reports to.  They may not agree with your position but I'm sure they won't back his verbal abuse and disrespect.

And if/when you do verbally confront him and he kicks you from the class, they'll be mentally prepared when you show up in the office again.  You'll have stacked the deck in your favor, not his - as I doubt he's talked with the administration about having a trans student in class.

Quote from: Ep on September 29, 2012, 05:34:16 PM
  Personally though, this stuff just makes me mad Arch.  These type of people shouldn't be anywhere near children.  The type of environment the teacher has created is not a safe learning environment for the OP, if anything he has created an unsafe situation that makes the OP not only vulnerable to verbal insults but possible physical altercations.  Now the teacher and kids are asking him about his genitals, what's next?  They pull his pants down to see?  I don't think a parent chewing this guy would will do anything, now pressing assault charges on behalf of their minor son would.  You don't do crap like this and you especially don't do it to children.

I agree. I am a teacher and it makes me sad to see what is essentially abuse. I don't think this person would at ALL see it ok to touch genitals but the fact that this seems so easy is really bad. If you have a parent that is supportive... there is nothing the school fears as much as an involved parent.

If anybody in school is an ally-- a social worker, a nurse, a counselor, another teacher (this can get very difficult though-- making waves is definitely frowned on as a teacher), etc. that person can talk to this teacher. The problem is that none of these people is really in any authority either. So one teacher could just say to another "f you". (Believe me it gets said.) A principal on your side is really best, but the thing is that most principals are far more conservative than their staff. Speaking from a lot of experience here.

BTW, I think there are two at least genderqueer kids at the school I work for. They seem to be treated very well. I haven't got to the point where I know for sure but we've had enough contact to see that we are kindred spirits.


--Jay J

First: thanks everyone for your support

And updates:
First I wanted to say that people having this education normally is 18-22 or even older so I'm not sure of much my mom can do. My mom wrote a letter to my teacher to make him call my name so I hope it works.

I went to school today and of cause everybody was she-ing me. I tried to speak back, but the only thing I managed to do was to quietly whisper 'he' when someone called me she. Later at school something happened that really made me angry and sad the whole day . My drama teacher wanted the guys and girls to be separated. I of cause walk over to the guy because I am one. The teacher is totally fine with it, but two guys and a girl (might even have been more) really wanted me to go over to the girls because they think I am in the 'wrong place'. Saying stuff like:
"Jeremy you are in the wrong place", "You are a girl" and "Erm... Jeremy what are you doing over here/there?"
I simply say no and I don't move. Then one of the guys go's ahead and does something (not sure what it was) with his finger and then says "Over to the girls Jeremy" like I'm some kind of dog he can command or something. I'm not sure what he was thinking. I mean who does that to a person? Before more happened the teacher went on with her work.

I really want to go on this school less and less. I don't know what to do. I also really wonder what they do if I ever get the T I'm trying to get right now. If they will still think of me as a girl when I have a deep voice, facial hair and so on? I think I might start correcting people every time they use wrong pronouns because that 'event' really pissed me of. Especially the dog-command part.

Usually, I find if people feel threatened by me, no change in my appearance or manner is going to fix that, because it's not me, it's them. So I think it's likely that those who call you out won't change when you start to transition medically.

I can certainly understand where you're coming from with this; I wouldn't want to go back to a place like that either. Unfortunately, if it's the students at large who are treating you this way, there's not all that much that you can do. You can try not responding at all, and eventually not getting a rise out of you may mean that they tire of the 'game', but that's a long shot. You could also try to fight back, but that could just make the situation escalate. I wish I had some magic words to fix it for you, but I really don't know.

I can say with certainty that school is fleeting though. This part of your life is a tiny little bump in the road, and one day you will leave it all far behind you. Until then just try to stay strong, and do whatever it is you need to do to get through the days.