Hey all,

After searching the web for a while, I came across this site and decided I liked it.
I'm currently and highschool and have semi-recently been thinking about some things.
First of all, I have come to terms with what I believe to be my sexuality: The gender of whoever I end up with doesn't exactly matter to me.
Second of all, for about a year or so I've been considering the fact that I may be transgender or gender neutral.
I don't exactly like jumping too conclusions so I thought I'd ask a group of mature, knowledgeable people (4chan didn't seem to cut it).
Anyhow, here's what goes on in my head: I wish I could be cute like a girl, I like when people call me she, I hate my own body hair, I always make my characters female when I game, I often think of dressing like a girl, I sometimes think that if I could pick, I'd choose to be a girl.
The reason I question if whether I'm a transgender or not is the fact that although I would choose to be a girl If I could, I'm not necessarily uncomfortable with this male body o' mine.
Extra info: I've always hung out with the girls and I'm always disgusted by the urge I get to "do the thing that guys do".

Quote from: Brandy Blossom on October 01, 2012, 01:34:09 AM
Anyhow, here's what goes on in my head: I wish I could be cute like a girl, I like when people call me she, I hate my own body hair, I always make my characters female when I game, I often think of dressing like a girl, I sometimes think that if I could pick, I'd choose to be a girl.
The reason I question if whether I'm a transgender or not is the fact that although I would choose to be a girl If I could, I'm not necessarily uncomfortable with this male body o' mine.
Extra info: I've always hung out with the girls and I'm always disgusted by the urge I get to "do the thing that guys do".

Welcome to Susan's, Brandy.

That's certainly all how I feel, and I'm definitely transgendered. I'm not uncomfortable with my male body, objecting only to the not-so-small detail that it isn't a female body.

As to whether it's a passing feeling or not, only you will know for sure.

Maybe you could try to incorporate your feminine desires into your appearance? Your description fits me partially, and i have been trying to present more androgynous. This has helped me a lot. Given me freedom. Try to dress and act more androgynous to get a good feel for what it is like, who know you'll decide to take it further. Or perhaps you at least feel a lot more happier like me. If you know what it is like and you want more i suggest talk to a gender therapist. You see the thing is there are all types of men, many don't like body hair either. It's normal.

Thanks for the replies so far. Sylanor, I would love to act more androgynous if it weren't for the fact that I go to a Catholic High School and my family is also very religious. Honestly, I'm just looking for some peace of mind, which I oddly had a lot of today. I've been trying to work up the courage to talk about my sexuality to my parents and if all goes well, in the future, my gender "issues". Who knows, maybe my family is a bit more accepting than I give them credit for.

I kind of knew since I was 4-5 that I should have been born a girl. I prayed or wished most of my childhood that I would wake up as one. Nevertheless, I still tried my best to live up to the expectations placed upon me. I never cared much for my body especially as things rapaidly starting changing between height, voice, hair loss, hair growing in bad places, all by the time I started h/s. In freshmen year I was about the tallest one there at 5'10", and almost the fattest.

I never hated being born with the wrong bits. Plenty of things about guys to dislike and be ashamed of without fixating on that. Plus those things and I have had some good times together. Given a choice I would have gladly choosen to be a girl. Still not 100% sure today. One thing for sure with me, the feelings have always been there. I just got really good at distracting myself from them.

Well , I personally don't think anyone can speak for you. The best I can say is that you will have to search your feelings to see if this is what you really want. I for one am not totally uncomfortable with my male body since it has some perks (I've always been one to look on the bright side of town). I may not be able to say for you whether you are trans or not, but I can say that not all trans folks hate their bodies. My real issue is that I am treated like a guy and I really don't like that. I for one just want to live as a female and, unfortunately, I have to work to adjust my body to be more congruent with my desired gender.

The fact that you don't hate your body doesn't make it so that you aren't trans so much as it just means you are probably a lot more calm about this issue. I'm still in high school, and I think that helps me stay calm because I know that I'm still young and that I have figured myself out early, making the situation less stressful. Then again, I've always been pretty mellow most of the time.

Thanks for the replies so far. I guess I'll just have to do a little more "soul searching" to find out if this is something passing or not. I'm think that this isn't something pAssing due to the fact that I've felt like this for at the very least a year (It's hard for me to keep track of time when it comes to thoughts of my own person).

Main thing to remember is that you are in charge and whatever you feel is right, is indeed so.

  Kate Bornstein uses the term "Transgressively Gendered" to mean anyone who operates outside the socially accepted Gender norm. That can include Butch and Femme Lesbians, Intersex folk,  Transmen and women, crossdressers, Androgynes, TS people who refuse to change their appearance as a political act, and many more. 

Take your time and watch how you are feeling, and you shouldn't go far wrong. 

Karen.