My first post here, and I intend to post more as time goes by, but for now my first question is;

How is sex for you and your partner post HRT? From what i've read your penis eventually starts to shrink due to lack of erections, it becomes difacult to have an erection at all ect, and very low sperm count.

I'm currently in a 2 year relationship with a woman ( long story short I've always thought of myself as a lesbian, don't intend to seek out men after taking hrt nor have i really ever been attracked to men ) who i've expressed my desires to about wanting to take hrt.

So she, as well as I was wondering what sex is like post HRT ? To MTF's who never really were attracted to men, did this change at all post HRT?

Lastly if anyone could link me tword a good starting place tword getting in touch with an either therapist or someone whom can inevidably prescribe me hormones I would be greatly appreciated. I am willing to take things slowly and see the therapist, but would prefere to start transitioning sooner then later.

I'm currently 28.3 and am a little worried about starting late, but haveing read this website for about the last 2 hours, I'm feeling much better about the thought.  I'll also have to discuss more at length all of the side effects ect with my loved one too see how this will affect her. I love her so much, if anyone else has any other useful input on my situation, it would be greatly appreciated as well.

Finally, hello susans.org

/wave

Hi and welcome, Chloe. People seem to have a big range of responses to MTF hormones. Some people experience a big drop in libido, no more erections, etc., and some see very little difference there - and everything in between (or even a *rise* in libido). Be prepared for anything!

It's also never too late to transition, if transitioning is what you really need. You start when you're ready to start.

As for therapists, whereabouts are you in what country? That would help when it comes to folk making suggestions .

28.3? Is that your age? I never seen it written like that. I started at 35.6

Yes, you will lose your erections. I lost mine after 3 months of hrt (it wasn't a bad thing for me).

After 6 months, many doctors will tell you that chances of you being permanently sterile is common.

After 7 months I wasn't ejaculating at all.

As I said before, I am not a believer HRT will change your sexual orientation. If you start to date guys it probably means you wanted to date guys before but never had the desire to but after taking hrt you open yourself to many more possibilities. I don't believe it changes your sexual orientation (anti gay conversion camps would be pumping gay men with Testosterone if this was true).

Google Gender therapist and find someone in your area. That will be a good start and if you cannot find any, call a general therapist and ask them if they know anyone in your area who does therapy with transgender people.

Goodluck.

It is possible to still have erections after one year of HRT, but usually erections are "weak", and penetration becomes very difficult. Varying degrees of sensitivity exist, from non, to a
nagging itch" during sex play.  Usually the penis remains flaccid and doesn't do much. Other forms of sexual satisfaction will be required.

To some extent, I think it depends on your body image, and how truly you are "female wired" in the brain? And some studies indicate you will rewire your brain a bit on hormones to more closely resemble natal females, by the way... I had the physical issues others describe here, including loss of erections, loss of ejaculation, etc, but the drive was increased, as was the sensation (longer, very very different, but intense), due maybe because I finally felt that I was getting toward my correct physical self.

After all, now, after SRS, the same glans you think might be insensitive will become your clit. So how can you be orgasmic afterward, if you couldn't be before? It may all be in the head, and how "correct" you perceive yourself to be.

Quote from: Chloe421x on October 02, 2012, 07:58:45 PM
My first post here, and I intend to post more as time goes by, but for now my first question is;

How is sex for you and your partner post HRT? From what i've read your penis eventually starts to shrink due to lack of erections, it becomes difacult to have an erection at all ect, and very low sperm count.

I'm currently in a 2 year relationship with a woman ( long story short I've always thought of myself as a lesbian, don't intend to seek out men after taking hrt nor have i really ever been attracked to men ) who i've expressed my desires to about wanting to take hrt.

So she, as well as I was wondering what sex is like post HRT ? To MTF's who never really were attracted to men, did this change at all post HRT?

Lastly if anyone could link me tword a good starting place tword getting in touch with an either therapist or someone whom can inevidably prescribe me hormones I would be greatly appreciated. I am willing to take things slowly and see the therapist, but would prefere to start transitioning sooner then later.

I'm currently 28.3 and am a little worried about starting late, but haveing read this website for about the last 2 hours, I'm feeling much better about the thought.  I'll also have to discuss more at length all of the side effects ect with my loved one too see how this will affect her. I love her so much, if anyone else has any other useful input on my situation, it would be greatly appreciated as well.

Finally, hello susans.org

/wave

Chloe, I have moved your post to a more general board, where I hope it will get more views.  And from this board, you have all of the "child" boards which cover the specific topics in which you are interested.

First, I assume by "post HRT" you mean "after starting HRT."  Male-to-Female transsexuals, even if they go so far as to have corrective surgeries, never stop taking hormones.  A transsexual needs the hormone that their body does not make for a variety of health reasons.

Seeking out a therapist is a good place to start, to explore what your gender and sexuality issues really comprise,  You did not say where you were located, so I will give you a starting point on a popular website:

http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/

On this website you can search by county or city in your state or province, and you can filter for "LGBT" or "transsexual" experience.experience.

Would you also like input from a partner?

First of all, I was terrified from the start that my wife would stop being interested in women and that she would divorce me, which the "common wisdom" said would happen. Instead, we're happier together now than before. She was bisexual before transition and remains so after, but her attraction to men did shift from maybe 5% to 25% (so she's still primarily female-oriented). Since I'm 90% interested in women but consider myself bisexual as well, I didn't care as long as she *was* still attracted to me.

Transition can be hard on a partner, obviously, but the key is to keep communicating - tell her how you feel, what you're planning, etc. and listen carefully to what she says. As long as you both love each other and are willing to work on the relationship, it *can* be done.

As for sex, we became less and less focused on her penis until it finally dropped off the radar entirely, but she was eventually orgasmic with just her breasts alone, so it didn't matter much to either of us. (I didn't much enjoy penetration anyway. If your partner does, you could look into a strap-on to use over your standard equipment; I know several women who have.) Like transition itself, sex requires that both you and your partner be flexible and willing to experiment, but there are lots of ways to make it work.

(Incidentally, she started HRT at 32 and is a curvy 42DDD at 35; she hasn't been misgendered since the first 4-6 months of HRT. When I post pictures, which I prefer not to do here, people are more likely to guess me as the trans woman out of the two of us. Hormones are amazing things.)

Quote from: blueconstancy on October 03, 2012, 06:58:48 AM
Would you also like input from a partner?

First of all, I was terrified from the start that my wife would stop being interested in women and that she would divorce me, which the "common wisdom" said would happen. Instead, we're happier together now than before. She was bisexual before transition and remains so after, but her attraction to men did shift from maybe 5% to 25% (so she's still primarily female-oriented). Since I'm 90% interested in women but consider myself bisexual as well, I didn't care as long as she *was* still attracted to me.

Transition can be hard on a partner, obviously, but the key is to keep communicating - tell her how you feel, what you're planning, etc. and listen carefully to what she says. As long as you both love each other and are willing to work on the relationship, it *can* be done.

As for sex, we became less and less focused on her penis until it finally dropped off the radar entirely, but she was eventually orgasmic with just her breasts alone, so it didn't matter much to either of us. (I didn't much enjoy penetration anyway. If your partner does, you could look into a strap-on to use over your standard equipment; I know several women who have.) Like transition itself, sex requires that both you and your partner be flexible and willing to experiment, but there are lots of ways to make it work.

(Incidentally, she started HRT at 32 and is a curvy 42DDD at 35; she hasn't been misgendered since the first 4-6 months of HRT. When I post pictures, which I prefer not to do here, people are more likely to guess me as the trans woman out of the two of us. Hormones are amazing things.)

This post was wonderful and thank you so much for your input, as well as everyone here who posted.

Specifically I'm from northern California, and I do enjoy penetrating somewhat but I'm not always that interested in it. I always enjoy using massages and my hands to do alot of the work

By post hrt, yes I mean once you've started taking it. I want to be able to answer her questions as they come along and the information so far has been wonderful.

I've been reading the forums constantly, and have found answers to alot of what I've been looking for, but should I come up with more questions I will ask!

Thanks again, and if anyone has more input on the topic of sexual activity after having been on hrt for a while, as well as partners to mtf who have any input to possibly help my fiancé s curiosity, that is wonderful too!

I am in a Lesbian relationship (I"m MTF). My wife loves me and she has been so incredibly supportive. Our relationship has turned out to be even better than before! I still get erections (2 years on HRT Sept. 30th) and it doesn't bother her as long as I take care of the situation one way or another. I guess in some ways we pleasure each other "lesbian style".  We recently went out and everyone thought we were a lesbian couple and no one even opened their mouths.  Your relationship may change, but not necessarily in a bad way, just in a different way because as the NEW YOU comes into fruition, your tastes may change or vary.My love for her has not changed...it's gotten even deeper. We connect in ways we never did before because now I GET IT...I'm a woman.
I would just start your HRT and enjoy the ride and love the journey.
Just my two cents

I'm so glad it helped! Please do pass along any specific questions she has, too... I'm sure someone here would be happy to address them (and I will if I see it).

I should have added that she maintained the ability to produce an erection *theoretically* capable of penetration right up until GRS; it was a mental barrier, not a physical one.

Well lets say the "end" is 93838147389427983498234% more intense.  And 28934902438290348902348934x Louder

That is all I am going to say xD, Libildo shot up sky high.  But just because my libildo shot up doesn't mean its as insane as it sounds.  As a girl, especially with estrogen its all about emotions O-o if I want to feel nothing I can.  If I am busy, hard at work, not even a tingle.  If my mind is too preoccupied to think about anything else.  Unlike with T flowing through my blood which resulted in like mehhhh I am too busy to think like this go away testosterone.

Most people have this extreme hate for "it" so I understand why they never feel anything.  I don't like it but, my ideal is this is life... this is what I got for now.  What can I do    (jkjk)

I know one close MTF friend whom has full sex life 4 years into HRT. Myself, like many, had a decrease in libido and erections/ejaculation matters. I lost full-hard-rock erections 45 days into it. No production of semen, completely dry as I reached month n half into Delestrogen/ Spiro combo. However, I remained very aware of my sexual orientation, I continued to have the same desire for men as when I had full drive for sex. Just that on HRT I started to see myself more femme, more apealing, and became quite more interesting to men whom I wanted to be around. I had immediate breast growth, immediate skin softening, and all the markers that make one less masculine. However I stopped HRT at 45 days into it because of the huge changes in my body that were not conducive at my workplace so soon in my transition. It felt like a cake being pulled out of the oven too soon but too tasty-looking to be avoided..lol..I needed more time to embrace the changes my body had offered me, including findig time to schedule my FFS. After FFS I will be able to match body and face and make the case for the woman in me.

My libido has risen I've been on hormones for 3 months now after ejaculation I have a pulsing feeling for about one hour it's crazy .i suppose everyone is different .

everyone is different, that is for sure.  A month in, I had the most amazing orgasms in the world, but I also have an IS condition, so ya.....

after two monthes?  I cannot get erect for the life of me, no matter how "into" the moment I am.  I'm fine with this.  We've tried, for about 30 minutes, just get semi at best, and then, its a very very annoying itchy feeling.  I'm content with this.  There is more then just that area I dislike anyways to sexual pleasure.  And there is more to life then sex. 

but as for libido?  I went from like 90 on a 1-100 scale, to about say, 4, lol.  Perfectly content however.  Everyone is different, everyone varies in their experience downstairs.  There is also a fine line between pleasure and pain with the breast department, but thats another story.

Be prepaired for anything with the whole sexual responsiveness department!

As for HRT, best of wishes!  Try searching a LBGT yellow page for your area of the nation, and search in there for endocrinologists, they are usually found under specialists.  Best of wishes to you!  Also, another route is to talk to your primary physician about this, and see if you can get a referral for HRT to an endo under the whole informed consent model.  Many LBGT centers also have references for you on the direction you feel you need to go, some people need therapy, some don't.  Every person varies in that department as well, based off of how "for sure" you are on your feelings/needs/area of where you live and community tolerance levels, and self resolve.  Also you could try searching for "gender therapists" and your zipcode after it in google!  Best wishes, and welcome!